#yes i wrote this fic for myself pls dont call me out for being so specific aHAAHA

[nonexistent-introvert]

About You

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!OC (Max)

Summary: Joel thought that she had forgotten about him, oh how wrong he was

Word count: 1.5k+

Author’s note: I suck at english so im sorry for grammar errors. Its my first ever fic so pls be nice. You can just replace Max with any name. I wrote this for TLOU coming out next year and also based off “About you” by The 1975 that i strongly recommend you listen to while reading

https://open.spotify.com/track/1fDFHXcykq4iw8Gg7s5hG9?si=9caa3ac1ed844615

“Come on Joel. I’ve left you alone for a month now. I just want to bond with my big brother.” Tommy whined, trying to drag his stubborn brother to the club in Jackson. “I am not giving you a chance to play matchmaker Tommy. I’m fine by myself.” Tommy scoffed, snatching the cup of whiskey that Joel had poured for himself and downing it. “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re a grumpy old man and that does not fit into most women’s ideal type.” Joel rolled his eyes. “Max is performing tonight. You love music don’t you?” Joel eyes shot to Tommy’s with interest. “Max?”

Tommy laughed, “Yes the very same that you seem to have a crush over.” Joel grunted, “I do not.”

  “Come on, I see the way your eyes follows her. She is a beautiful woman.”

  “Watch it Tommy.”

   Tommy threw up his hands in surrender. “So you coming?” Joel sighed, “Gimme a minute.”

   Joel’s eyes searched the bar for Max the moment he entered. “You mind sharing why you’re so into Max?” Tommy asked as they settled into seats. “I’m not.” “Is it just a crush? . Have you even talked to her?” Tommy pursued. Joel rubbed his temples at his brother, “I knew her since a decade ago, travelled together for awhile.” Joel finally admitted. Tommy eyes widened, “I don’t mean to be rude but a decade’s a long time.” Joel nodded, sighing a little. “Yeah, I dont think she remembers me either.” Tommy gave his brother a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “At least… you weren’t a dick to her right?” Joel let out yet another sigh, “I made a lot of mistakes to survive.” Tommy let out a groan.

   “Hey guys.” Joel and Tommy’s eyes shot up to the stage where Max awkwardly sat, adjusting the mic. A loud cheer came from the crowd. “Woo, charming.” Tommy commented, which ticked Joel off a little. “I-I didnt mean to ruin your night today but Ellie over there wants to as punishment for losing a bet.” Joel looked over to Ellie on the other side with her friends, laughing at Max’s comment. “You’ll thank me later!” Ellie shouted back to Max who turned her head away from the mic to laugh, a look on her that Joel had etched into his mind and yet still makes his heart skip a beat whenever he sees it. “So today, I’ll sing a song that I wrote myself and if it sucks, you’re right. Blame Ellie for ruining your ears.”

   Laughter erupted in the room. “What’s it called!” Jesse called out from Ellie’s side. Max glanced at him, adjusting the guitar in her hands. “About you.” she winked jokingly which brought out another wave of laughs and cheers. She strummed a melody, a melody that captured the audience already.

I know a place

It’s somewhere I go when I need to remember your face

We get married in our heads

Something to do while we try to recall how we met

  A smile was on her lips as she thought about him. That three days where they were snowed in the small cabin. Where they had no choice but to sit still in that small cabin with their supplies. The domestic moments she shared with Joel as they sat on the couch while the fire burned. The smile on his face as he laughed and his voice as he talked to her, sharing things about himself that he never seemed to talk about. The peaceful look on his face when they shared a bed for the first time. It was childish and delusional but that fantasy of being with him was fulfilled in that memory she had visited so often till a point that she remembered it more vividly than when they had first met.

You and I (don’t let go) were alive (don’t let go)

With nothing to do, I could lay and just look in your eyes

Wait (don’t let go) and pretend (don’t let go)

Hold on and hope that we’ll find our way back in the end

   They were both alive and well, sitting at the table as they ate together for the last time in the small cabin. The blizzard outside was calming down, and after that they would have reached Boston where they would be parting ways. Max looked at Joel from her seat, his eyebrows furrowed as he was deep in thought, Max stared, letting herself remember his every feature. He is indeed good looking, even when she has nothing to do, she didn’t mind just letting herself get lost in those eyes of his. “We should go soon if we want to reach before the sun sets.” Joel spoke up, finishing his last bite and standing up. Max’s hand instinctively reached out for him, betraying the words that never left her. “Wait, stay with me for awhile more. Let’s pretend for a little while more that everything is good and well.” Joel eyes looked at her questioningly, and she forced out a smile instead before nodding, hiding her hand underneath the table.

    “Goodbye Joel.” Joel nodded, shuffling his feet, the walls around him crumbling ever so slightly. “Bye Max.” He wanted to wish her well, wanted to ask her to stay with him but he knew her, knew that her stubborn and determined personality mirrored his own. The both of them had the same thoughts but none was being voiced. No one wanted to ruin their last moment together or remember their last moment as an argument. It was better to suppress those feelings they felt for each other. People come and go, it was common in the apocalypse.

They can only wish that one day, they will find each other again, maybe when they are in a better state, when the both of them are not in a rush to be on their feet.

   Max took a deep breathe, her eyes found Joel’s in the crowd. This bridge she had written was the words that she pondered over day when she first saw him in Jackson. The very same she wanted to tell him now.

There was something ‘bout you that now I can’t remember

It’s the same damn thing that made my heart surrender

And I miss you on a train, I miss you in the morning

I never know what to think about

  She tried her best to hold on to the memories of him. But as time passed, the image of him in her memory got cloudier and blurrier. She couldn’t remember him when he laughed and smiled, the eyes that she so deeply loved was just a blurred image in her head, she couldn’t remember the gaze he looked at her with. But now he was in Jackson and so was she, if only she had more courage, maybe she would be able to rediscover those things about him again. So she tries, tries for the past month to remember him from those fleeting glances she gets from seeing him, opening the scars from a decade ago in an attempt to remember him better, letting herself miss him and long for him. He’s all she ever thinks about.

I think about you (so don’t let go)

About you (so don’t let go)

Do you think I have forgotten

About you? (Don’t let go)

   Max remembered laughing at Ellie when she had finally revealed to her that she knew Joel from a decade ago. Ellie had told her that Joel probably thinks she had forgotten about him when Ellie had questioned him about it. It was no surprise he thought so, she hadn’t made any indication to show that she did, feeling embarrassed whenever he was around till the point where she avoided any contact with him. Preferring to pretend he never existed, unbeknownst to him was the glances she threw at him when he was looking away, when he didn’t know she was near him. Max wanted to tell him, confess to him that he is the one that plagued her mind, that she would never forget about him so she prays that he doesn’t let go of her, doesn’t give up on the idea of them.

  Max let out a relived sigh and a smile as she finished. Her heart lifted from the burden and suppressed feelings he had for him. It wasn’t a direct contact but she hoped it was enough to tell him that she hadnt given up on the idea of them. She stood up, adjusting the mic to its original place. Max looked at Joel as she leaned into the mic, “It’s nice to see you again.” Cheers erupted from the room and Tommy gave Joel a shove. “Is that not a big enough hint? Talk to her you idiot!” Ellie appeared before the brothers, “Joel, stop thinking and go kiss her!” Ellie encouraged. Joel stood up from his seat, and with one big step ,he stepped onto the stage. An action that shocked everyone including Joel himself. “Joel..” Max eyes shone as he looked at her. Joel grinned at her, stepping into her space, “Can I-” Max let out a laugh, standing on her tip toes as she pulled him down and he naturally wrapped his hands around her waist and kissed her. When they pulled away, everyone was cheering for the both of them. “I remember now, the damn thing that made my heart surrender.” Max whispered. Joel chuckled, leaning his forehead against her.

“I love you. I always did.” 

Extra*

 “Good job kid.” Tommy praised as he watched how happy his older brother was despite having the entire club watch them. Ellie looked at the couple, her heart warming for the two people she cared about so much. “Speaking about that, you owe me. This proves that I’m the better matchmaker.” Ellie teased, Tommy rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll convince Joel to allow you on more patrols.” 

[obxdrewseph]

High Maintenance - Rafe Cameron

Description: Rafe Cameron is SICK of high maintenance girls. Sick of them. After he dumps his latest girlfriend for being too clingy, annoying, and picky with her food, he vows to never date a high maintenance girl ever again. Once he befriends an outspoken girl in his male-dominant Shakespeare class, his entire mindset changes. 

once again, please pretend covid does not exist in this scenario ;-; one day i will write about zoom classes or an online romance... but that day is not today

-----

“I just can’t do this anymore!”

“Why not? Rafe, c’mon now--”

“No, you want this, then you want that, you’re so fucking high maintenance. And, all my friends think so too.”

Rafe spat as he hurriedly got his keys from his now ex-girlfriend’s shelf. 

“Your friends are douchebags!” The girl yelled, throwing random clothes and items at the boy. He rolled his eyes at her words. Of course she would say something like that. All the girls did. They forgot how big of a douche Rafe Cameron is too. 

“Did you seriously tell me you need to be taken on dates at least 3 times a week? Gracie, we have classes 5 days a week and Saturday is for the boys!” 

Rafe Cameron HATED high maintenance girls. 

Despised them. 

Hated when they were too clingy and needed too much attention, hated when they picked at their food like it was poisoned, or when they went on a diet and he couldn’t go to his favorite pizza restaurant. 

He hated all of that shit. 

He didn’t understand why girls were so high maintenance when guys were so lowkey. None of his guy friends cared where they went out to eat, none of them ate salads when they went to a burger joint-- they all were easy to hang out with. 

That was not the case with all the girls Rafe had dated. 

“Fine, but don’t expect me to take you back when you come crawling back to me!!” She screamed, tears flooding down her face. He wanted to feel bad, but he couldn’t. She fake cried every other day to make Rafe turn off his video games and hang out with her. 

And all she wanted to do was talk! 

The boy knew if he said anything to that statement, it would end poorly so he just ran out the door and drove away.

From that day on, he vowed never to date a girl that was high maintenance ever again. 

-----

Rafe Cameron hated the first day of classes and this year, he hated them even more when he was forced to take a stupid English class for some Gen Ed (general education) requirement.

At least he got to take a class on analyzing Shakespeare. It was either that or Feminist Theory and no thank you. 

Unfortunately, he had a previous class pretty far away from the English building so when he arrived at said Shakespeare class, there were only a few seats in the front still open. Next to one of the only girls in the class. 

He quickly took the seat before any more people came in. 

The class was chatting loudly since most of them were dudes. And dudes had an easier time to other dudes. Rafe took a quick peak at the girl sitting next to him and noticed she was mindlessly scrolling on her phone. 

She looked a bit tense when he sat next to her and came to the conclusion that she was the type of girl who didn’t have many guy friends and didn’t know how to socialize with them. 

“Hi, I’m Rafe.” He introduced himself to put the poor girl out of her misery. Her eyes brightened when she heard a voice directed to her. 

Rafe noticed the way her blank face shifted into a big smile. Woah.

“Hi, I’m y/n, nice to meet you!” Her voice was bright and cheery. He did a quick analysis of the girl.

She was wearing light blue skinny jeans, ripped so she put some thought into her appearance. But, she was wearing a huge sweater over it. Something girls did to look cute, yet casual. But, the girl was wearing dangly earrings. He came to the conclusion he couldn’t decide who the girl was yet before talking to her.

“So, what made you take a class about Shakespeare?” He asked nonchalantly. 

The girl did nothing to hide her clear disdain of the man. It was written all over the face. 

Rafe did his best to hide his chuckle. Y/N was a nice refreshment to all the girls he had dated, and had known, who hid all of their emotions to only throw them back in his face when he did something wrong. He knew this girl wouldn’t do that to him.

“Ugh, don’t even remind me what class we’re in. I only took this class because all of the other English classes were full. Darn being a freshman. What about you? Are you into THE William Shakespeare?” She babbled which somehow Rafe found endearing. 

He shrugged. “I do dabble.” 

Once the girl realized that’s all he was going to say, she laughed. “Well Rafe, I see you’re a man of very few words.” She deadpanned. “Also, I think we are going to do a little more than ‘dabbling’ in this class, as you say, since this is a 400 level class.” 

Her honesty was quite refreshing to the boy who had been told lies to his whole life. He could tell she didn’t even know his dad paid lots of money for him to go to this school. He knew that was rich white privilege but it’s not like he could do anything about it. 

He then realized he hadn’t said anything to the girl for a few moments. 

“You know, you’re very refreshing to talk to.” 

“Yeah, I know. I get told that a lot.” 

This time, he laughed out loud. 

He totally got her character wrong. 

------

The Shakespeare class only met Mondays, Wednesdays, and then had quiz sections on Friday. 

When it hit 9:50am on Wednesday, which was the end of his business class, he rushed to English. He anticipated seeing this girl again and he didn’t know why.

He waltzed into class and saw the girl sitting in the front row once again. Since he rushed there, there were plenty more seats open. But he didn’t want to sit next to anybody else. He wanted to sit next to her. 

He plopped down next to her and took in her appearance. She was wearing makeup today, or maybe she wore some on Monday, honestly he had no clue. Her pink eyeshadow matched... her entire pink outfit. She was bold bold for wearing that to this class. All the guys were staring at her like she had just landed here from Mars or something. 

He was now confused at whether she was a lowkey girl like the girl he saw on Monday or if she was this girly girl. 

“Hey Rafe!” She cheerily said as he sat down. 

He smiled. “Hey. How’s your day going?” 

“Hmm, let’s see. I woke up feeling a bit weird because I had a funky dream. You know, have you ever had those dreams where you just look at the world a bit differently? Anywho, in the dream I was forced to torture this girl so that she would give up information, but then she wouldn’t ‘cause she’s kickass so I was ordered to chop of her head instead! BUT, I couldn’t do it and that’s the funny thing, you popped up and chopped off her head for me! Isn’t that funny? Since we just met?? I think it’s a sign that we are going to be great friends.” 

He felt his head spinning as the girl rambled about her dream and his place in them, but he somehow understood it all? Maybe this was a sign they were going to be great friends. 

“Are you saying I’m your hero?” He couldn’t help with flirt with her. She rolled her eyes and laughed, but he could still see her blush. Yeah, she definitely wasn’t used to guys flirting with her. 

“Wow, is that what you took away from my dream? Rude. Also! If we are going to be friends, I need to know your last name.”

“Cameron.” 

Her nose scrunched up. 

“Hey, what’s wrong with the last name Cameron?” He teased, nudging her arm a bit. Was this flirting or was he just being playful? He didn’t know either. 

“There’s nothing wrong with the last name Cameron, it’s just you have two first names... technically. But, I’m not judging! What’s funny is I could see you going by the name Cameron as well which is interesting. Rafe seems more like a tough guy name but you seem so... I don’t know. Calm? Chill?” 

He laughed. That was the first time someone has called him that. “What’s your last name?” 

“y/l/n. See? We’re friends now.” 

------

The girl was right. 

Over the past few weeks of class, Rafe and y/n had become friends. 

It wasn’t hard to befriend someone like y/n though-- she didn’t stop talking and seemed to always seem interested in what Rafe had to say. And he ate that shit up. She always knew the right words to say and was charismatic in her own right. The two even met outside of classes occasionally to study together. 

He had decided she was a pretty chill and lowkey kind of girl. Just the type he needed in his life. Yes, she talked a lot, but she carried what he lacked in conversation. It worked for them. She didn’t care how she spoke around him and let loose with her emotions and body gags-- she was so different from the girls he had been with before. It was nice. 

He had developed a crush on the girl, but he wasn’t sure how she felt and didn’t want them to get a weird relationship in class. 

It was a gloomy Sunday night and Rafe had another date with some random girl in his business class. He wasn’t that interested in her yet, but appreciated her confidence to make the first move. Girls rarely did that. 

Sadly, the date had just started and it was already going poorly.

They met at an Italian restaurant near the school, both taking separate cars so that they would have a way to dash if the date went bad. 

And the girl had ordered a salad and a cup, only a cup, of wedding soup while Rafe had to eat his ginormous plate of pasta. 

He hated when girls went to restaurants and ordered the tiniest thing. What was the point? What was her reasoning? Was it bad to ask? 

She also talked on and on about how she was going to take over her dad’s company and how her whole life revolved around business. All he heard was that she never had to lift one finger while everyone did everything for her. 

She was already too high maintenance for the boy. 

------

The next day, he went to class fired up from the date. He plopped next to y/n and turned to her immediately. She stopped typing and looked at him with curious eyes. 

“Uh oh, tough morning?”

He sighed. The date took way too long and he was trying to be a better person and sit through the entire date. Usually, he would just get up leave if the girl was boring, but this was sophomore year Rafe, not freshman Rafe. But, he barely got sleep as the girl talked away while he had an early class. 

He took one glance at the girl and was curious if she would care for his ranting. She was wearing sweats and a tank top today. It was too far into the quarter to care at this point. He appreciated it. 

He was going to just rant anyways.

“Just, I don’t get why girls feel the need to eat so little on dates. Like, we aren’t going to up and walk away if you down as much food as us. In fact, it’s pretty hot when a girl can! Especially at Italian places, they never order pasta or pizza-- only salads? I didn’t even know they sold salads at those places until I went on my first date.” 

His voice was louder than usual and this conversation carried to the boys around them. 

“Bro, I totally get that. I went through sooo many girls who nibbled on their food or just never ate around me in general. But my girlfriend now? I knew she was the one when I took her to a carnival and I swear she ate every food there.” 

Rafe nodded in agreement. “Right? Like it’s attractive!” 

More guys gave snippets of their dating lives and agreed that girls should just eat more because it is A) better for them B) it makes them hotter! 

“You guys are kind of being assholes right now.” 

The female voice that cut through washed them into a silence. 

Rafe had forgotten he was sitting next to the girl he was supposed to be ranting to. He had found comfort in these guys who were experiencing the same thing. He had ranted about this to Topper but he dated his little sister, and he knew she ate anything in her way. 

“Assholes? How are we being assholes?” A classmate who had just gotten finished ranting. 

“You’re being assholes because you’re judging a girl’s worth on how much she eats... like what the fuck? How does that even matter? Why does it matter what other people are eating? How does that affect you?” 

Rafe heard the bite in her words and he was shocked. She had always been so cheery and happy-go-lucky, but her tone was all anger and... sadness. 

“Plus, I’ll bet you 100 dollars that all of the girls who you say eat a lot are skinny as hell and before you say anything, there is nothing wrong with that. But, guys only find skinny girls attractive when they eat a lot. If, God forbid, they gain weight, or are fat, AND they shovel down food? They’re called gross.” 

The professor cut off her words before she could get more in, but her meaning still got through. All of the guys were sitting there like puppies who just got their toy taken away.

Rafe peaked at the girl during class and saw her eyes full of tears. 

He felt guilty as hell... but more confused than anything. 

He kept getting more and more curious about the girl sitting next to him. 

-----

The girl zoomed out of class as soon as it was over; she didn’t even wait for Rafe like she usually did. 

That hurt. 

Rafe laid in bed after he got back from all his classes and analyzed her words and her facial expressions. Damn he felt guilty. He thought back to all the girls he ridiculed for not eating and wondered what they were going through. 

He had a little sister of his own who downed any food she got-- but she always stayed skinny. Is this the privilege y/n was talking about? He never saw any big girls shoveling food in like his sister did... 

He rolled around in bed, frustrated at not talking to y/n more. 

-----

That Wednesday came and no one talked about her little outburst on Monday but they all were aware of y/n’s temper now. Somehow, Rafe became friends with the guys sitting behind them, learning their names were JJ, Pope, and Kelce. 

“Today class, I’m introducing a new project. It’ll be a group project and you can be in groups of 5 tops.” 

The class started muttering and choosing groups while the professor spoke. 

The boys behind Rafe hit him on the back. 

They pointed to the girl who wasn’t paying much attention to the boy energy in the room. “Y/n.” Rafe nudged. The girl looked up and Rafe almost forgot what he was going to say. “Group?” He finally spoke. He glanced back to the guys and then back at her. She turned around and nodded.

After class, Pope called them all together. 

“So, I wanna get started on this project as soon as possible. I got a ton of other work I have to do in my STEM classes and want to get the English out of the way. Are you guys cool with meeting Friday at 2 at the library next to the fountain?” 

A chorus of “sure” went around. 

-----

Rafe only had one class, the English quiz section, on Fridays, so he was early to the library. It was the library everyone chatted in, so it was bustling with students who had gotten a headstart on their weekend’s homework, or were chilling before their next class. 

He had ordered at the school’s Starbucks before sitting down and made sure to get enough for the whole group. Being rich has its perks. 

“Rafe!” A familiar voice called out. 

He looked up from his laptop and saw y/n walking towards him. He immediately smiled and patted the seat next to him. She smelled like flowers like usual, specifically Japanese Cherry Blossom which she informed him before. 

“Hey, you hungry? I bought these muffins for everyone.” The boy shoved a coffee cake towards her. He pegged her as a girl who liked sweets since her personality was so hyperactive and chatty. 

She shook her head. “No thanks, I ate before I came here.” 

“Hey guys!” JJ and Pope walked in together while Kelce came trailing behind soon after. 

“Oooh muffins!” JJ greedily downed the coffee cake Rafe had bought for y/n. It was his favorite too. “Damn, Cameron really comes through with the moneyyy.” 

Rafe rolled his eyes, but he was used to the comments about the amount of money he had. 

“Oh y/n, you want one?” Kelce offered her a blueberry muffin that no one touched. 

“Nah, I ate before I got here.” 

“C’mon, you have to try this pumpkin flavored one, it’s SO good.” Pope said, plucking off half the muffin for her to try. 

“No, really I’m not hungry.” 

They all paused. 

“Wait, y/n, don’t tell me you’re one of those girls who orders salads when they go out on dates.” JJ teased. 

Y/N’s eyes turned dark when the boys started laughing. Rafe sat there, unsure of what to do or say. He had been the one who started this whole debate between them, but when he saw how upset y/n got, he didn’t want to fight her. 

“Dammit she is! I never would’ve expected that from you. You seem so chill.” 

She scoffed. “So chill girls can’t turn down food from guys? What the hell does that mean?” 

“Well, usually chill girls don’t because they don’t care how they look to guys. But those high maintenance girly girls turn down food so they look better to guys. Pfft.” JJ said in his eccentric tone. 

That made the girl laugh. You know when a girl laughs during an argument, shit is about to get real. 

“Are you fucking serious? How is a girl high maintenance when she doesn’t ask for food all the time? Or when she doesn’t eat? How is she asking for more when she’s taking less?” 

“It’s so conceited for all of you to think that a girl is acting in a way to please you. Really, you don’t know her relationship with food. You don’t know what anyone’s relationship with food is so you shouldn’t comment on it.” 

Her face was red, something Rafe noticed happened when she got heated about something. 

“I really don’t want to talk about this anymore, can we just do this project so I don’t have to talk to you misogynistic douches anymore? Thanks.” 

-------

They finished most of the project in five awkward hours. 

Y/N was clearly still upset by the earlier conversation about food and Rafe wasn’t sure why she was getting so worked up over it. Yes, he knew the guys were pushing it. But, the issue seemed personal to her. 

“K, we are gonna head out now. See ya’ll in class.” JJ said while the three of them skedaddled in fear y/n would yell at them again.

It was now just Rafe and y/n. 

They cleaned up their stuff in a silence. They said nothing until they got outside since the library was quiet now. No one was in the library on Fridays. 

It was pretty late about now, nearing dinner time. 

“Wanna get some dinner?” Rafe suggested, maybe a peace offering to the girl who was still upset over something he never thought too hard about. 

Usually buying food for girls works. Like chocolate. He didn’t know how much ice cream he would buy for his girlfriends when they were mad at him. 

The girl stared at Rafe for a bit and sighed. 

“I don’t eat at restaurants.” 

“Why not?” Rafe was a bit surprised at her confession.. and confused. Not eating at restaurants? Why? 

“Because I’m on a strict diet, ok? God, I know what you’re going to say, that I’m high maintenance and all which I probably am but whatever.” The girl was on the brink of tears and Rafe was confused. All he did was offer her dinner. 

He ran after her when she started walking away. 

“Hey, I’ve been an asshole lately and I’m sorry. But I’m just confused. Obviously this subject means more to you than I thought.” He confessed. 

He pulled her down on a bench on campus. He was grateful there was barely anyone in sight since it was late. Everyone was either home or partying. 

She took a deep breath. Rafe could tell this was a hard topic for her. 

“So, long story short: I have IBS which stands for irritable bowel syndrome. It’s different for everyone but basically it means you can’t digest things well. And for me, I have pain every time I eat anything and for a long time I didn’t know what was going on. And now, I’m on this strict low FODMAP diet which is really weird and no one understands it. And I hate telling people what I can and can’t eat when they literally can just look it up themselves.” 

Tears start falling down her face as she speaks. 

“And it sucks because I used to be the type of girl who could shovel tons of food into her and feel ok but now my body isn’t what it used to be. I’m hungry, sad, and in pain all the time and...” 

Rafe enveloped her in a hug. She clung tighter onto him as she melted into his arms. He was so warm in this cold weather. 

He rubbed her back gently. “I’m sorry.” She nodded into his arm at his apology. 

“I get it. The worst part is I understand you guys. I’m annoying and high maintenance. I have to cook everything I eat which sucks because I’m a terrible chef. And what affects me the worst is bread which is why I had to turn down everything you offered. When guys ask me out to restaurants or on dates in general, I have to turn them down because I know they’ll judge me for being gluten free and dairy free and basically so limiting in choices. Plus, most restaurants don’t have all that, unless they’re Asian. I basically only eat at Asian restaurants and I guess I shouldn’t assume that you didn’t want to eat at an Asian restaurant but...” 

She was babbling at this point. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking of taking you to an Asian restaurant but we can go next time.” She laughed. 

She had more of a hold on his heart than he thought. Suddenly he wanted to hurt all those guys who had hurt her in the past. Hurt her so badly that she didn’t even want to go on dates anymore. And he was pissed at himself for being one of those guys. Those shitheads. 

“Or I’ll cook the Asian food. I can learn.” He said in a teasing manner, but he was dead serious. He was about to look up everything about Asian food very soon. And he knew he was about to look up what the “low fodmap diet“ was because he had no fucking clue. 

She chuckled. “It’s fine, I’ve learned how to cook meals for myself now. And you’re right about me being high maintenance though which is what sucks. I’m the youngest child so everyone does everything for me anyways. I’ve been told that people want to protect me.”

She was right. All Rafe wanted to do was protect her.

It was in that moment that he realized he didn’t care if the girl was “high maintenance”. It she was the right girl, he would do anything for her. All he wanted to do for y/n at this moment was to treat her right, take her mind off her pain, and cook her the right meals so she wouldn’t be anxious. 

He then took her hand and tightly held it. 

“Thank you for confiding in me and making me see my douchey ways.” She laughed. He felt his heart lighten when her tear stained face smiled. He wanted to keep her like that forever. 

He gently took her chin and looked her in the eyes. “You deserve better than some guy who half asses your dates and doesn’t treat you right. You deserve a guy who does everything you need and more. You deserve to be treated like a princess.” 

“Even if I’m high maintenance?” She whispered. 

He kissed her on the forehead. 

“We’re all high maintenance, sweetheart.” 

------

A/N: if you’re reading this, thank you for reading this far!! :D

Also, please watch what you say about other people’s eating habits. It can damage them and like our y/n did say: you don’t know what their relationship with food is. Don’t comment on how much food is on their plate, don’t comment on how little food is on their plate-- just don’t comment on their food in general. Please be accommodating to other’s dietary restrictions and be kind to people-- you don’t know what they’re dealing with. 

What we eat and how much we eat DO NOT define us :)  

[zephyr-94]

barista!jaemin

inspired by the one and only, puff live!

a/n: this is my first ever fic omg pls spare me with my low writing skills cause ive literally never done this fjskdjdhjdks okay i just love na jaemin periodt. (after writing: ITS VERY JUMPY AND LENGTHY I DIDNT PLAN TO MAKE IT LIKE THIS DJSKJSJSS)

so like your aunt owns a cafe which is in the middle of the city

and you live a lil outside just cause you know, school n shit

you visit her so often cause its a small cafe and it calms you down whenyou need a short break from everything

its weird thats its in the middle of the city but its still calming right?

well okay so like you know those small streets down the neighbourhoods?

the ones you dont really go unless you are rlly feeling adventurous n shit, your aunt’s cafe is in one of those streets

okay longass context down

and at school, you are in a photography club,,, or technically you just learn photography from your teacher after school but its not a whole club extravaganza

just cause your school kinda demands an extra curricular after the first year

but it feels really suffocating to be forced to do smth as a group/with people you arent as familiar with,,,,

so you “signed up” for the smallest club: [photography theory]

it was about time you start doing your hobby-ish thing at school and the tutor was cool with you being practically the only student in the club lmao so everything was going well but

youve never rlly done anything big yourself and your school friends havent pushed you to do smth either

so you were kind of looking to at least take part in one out-of-class project initiated by students maybe

and theres this big school newspaper club/writers’ club,,,, and you find out that they are like !! photographers & stories wanted !!

and you ?? at first but apparently its a project where like students get to submit their fav pic & write a mini article about “your place of comfort”

cause the topic of the month is mental health/dealing with stress and the newspaper club wants a students’ view on it, instead of just “meditation” as a topic

then you just have that cafe in your mind like,,, how you would love to shoot the street light shining into the cafe from afar and how calm that place makes you feel,,,

basically you just love your auntie’s cafe lmao

so then you go on about maybe joining it,,, but then you be indecisive cause youve never actually taken a photo professionally you just have a prolonging passion for it,,,

and your teacher is like “y/n idk why you are contemplating no ones gonna judge you just try smth new, go take the chance if you are feeling like it”

we love a supportive johnny, oh yes your english teacher is your photography “club” tutor,,, self proclaimed club

actually there have been many opportunities in the past with taking photos for projects like this one but you just stayed away cause it didnt “motivate” you to take photos for it

so johnny’s words kinda pushed your back n you felt like this was the right thing :))

so then you visit your auntie on the weekends asking maybe if you can take pics & ask her a couple questions about this place

and shes like ofc!! wanna see how you capture this place :))

so then you do this whole process and you submit the article & photos,,,,,

which ends up getting a whole page???

and you are like wh a t

newspaper club: oh you submitted many such pretty pictures & your comment felt very genuine

and you :)) but damn a whole page,,,, you is a lil anxious djskdjdh now the entire schools now going to know you

johnny the hype man teacher: see i told you it was going to turn out nice

and then kaboom, your article lowkey blows up lmao

your auntie is calling you up like “y/n!! so many customers came today!! and a lot of them are wearing the same uniform as you, they must be the students from your school!!”

and shes so happy so you are happy af

but then you remember like,,,, shes never had a part timer,,,,,

and she continues to manage the place by herself after it gets popular among the students,,,,

?? auntie,,, you never take a break ??

shes like maybe ill think about hiring someone?? and you are like, that would be good for you :)) i will be less worried about your health!!

whoop guess who got hired

and after youve had that^ conv, you had constant classes n group projects n shit so you literally had no time,,,

two weeks later, kinda highkey stressed

you decide to go make a quick visit to auntie before going to the library to study

and you peek,,, to see not your auntie,,,,

but a boy?? 

just standing behind the counter,,, no auntie to be seen but a beautiful boy???

before the opening hours,,,, he?? must be the part timer,,,

and once he notices you by the door,

he just smiles at you,,, so brightly,,,,

wow youve never seen such a pretty face,,,

you actually like forget to open the door you are just staring from outside the cafe,,,,

and he just waves,,, and you snap back to reality like oh shit did i just stare at someone for a solid minute

welp that was embarrassing djkdjdfj

he opens the door for you and goes “hey you must be y/n :))”

“the only person who comes before 9am, thats you isnt it?”

and you just ?¿ confusion??¿

“auntie told me about it :)) hi, nice to meet you, im jaemin!!”

you are still confused but you just shake hands next to the counter,,,

and as you take a seat

jaemin just makes a smol run to the other side and hes like

“you came just in time, i want you to try my latte!!”

jaemin serves a cup of latte with a leaf art

this boy just served a latte first thing after shaking hands i-

you take a sip from the cup

and you are like,,, so auntie hired an experienced boy,,,,

“its really good,,,” it has the same comforting taste you always love

and jaemin just has the biggest smile :)))) you know his smile where the ends just curl in, yes that one

him beaming like that just makes you giggly inside,,,,

you ask him “so uh um im guessing you are the part timer??”

“yes!! i didnt introduce myself properly did i! i started working here two weeks ago :))

ive been coming here for quite a while now so im happy i got the chance!!”

and you ?¿ “ive never seen you here??” you are the most frequent customer youve gotta have seen him before fjsksj

hes like “oh um i always came at 9pm on a friday, after everyone leaves and the whole neighbourhood gets quiet”

you just :o

and come to think of it, you’ve never visited here on a friday night,, cause you know, friday evening is your im not doing anything tonight kinda me time lmao

inside you are kinda happy that someone who knows this place got hired like its a special place to you so

tbh you were kinda anxious even though you trust your aunt,,,,,

and jaemin hurriedly goes “oh and also auntie is taking a break today, shes out to the market so im gonna take over until she returns in the afternoon”

djskdj auntie why didnt she tell you lmao

“im sorry if you needed anything specific from her,,, you should stay for a while until she comes back maybe?”

and you are like,,, “oh that would be great,,, but unfortunately i have to go to the library,,,,”

jaemin: ): he pout

“im so glad you came today tho!! i wanted to see you :) auntie has told so many thing about you”

“wait,, what has she told you,, omg”

apparently shes told jaemin

a) reason why this cafe recently became a popular hideout cafe for students because you wrote a school article bout it

b) that you do photography

c) and that this cafe is your break time so you never study here and auntie loves listening to you talk about school n what not

and then you are like !!

“wait so then you dont go to our school ,,,um are you also a student?”

and you panic a little cause i mean you just met him but you literally know nothing and you mightve assumed things fjsksj

and jaemin tells you “ah yes i go to a hospitality school downtown” “ohh”

and from there he just starts talking about his school and what he studies

he asks you about school but jaemin is extra excited about his hospitality course hes all !! :))!!

and you are so hooked on jaemin talking about his school you forget an hour passes by,,,,

[time to open the cafe]

then the customers start coming in

and you are like “oh sorry ive just bothered you during the preparation time,,,,, it was nice meeting you!! gotta go now :))”

and you rush out cause all you planned to do was give your auntie a little visit

also you dont want to bother jaemin cause its hes gonna handle the place alone for a couple hours

you wave a smol see you soon and

jaemin just does a little chuckle,, and hes like waving so widely fjsksj does he know other people can see him

and thats how your first day with jaemin went

later that day you return home thinking like,,, did you just get so excited to converse with someone who you juSt met,,,

na jaemin’s power

and jaemin on the other hand, is thinking about how beautiful you looked today

just that short while but it made him so happy

hes thinking about you all week uwu

so next week you visit again, expecting to see your auntie

and maybe also that gleaming boy

peeking through before the opening hours

the moment jaemin realises you hes like “y/n!!” what a shining boy

and aunties like “oh y/n right you met him last week when i was out right”

that morning you just talk to auntie about what shes been missing on after you went on a busy week

mind that jaemin is literally just listening to you & auntie talk

and he enjoys it cause you talk so comfortably in front of her :))

you decide to stay the whole day to give yourself a break

which meant you moved to your usual spot by the window

and auntie serving you (free) vanilla latte

you take out your camera and just start adjusting the lenses, trying to find the right frame

customers come and go so you dont get to talk to jaemin a lot that day

but its not like you came here for him,,,, right?¿??¿??

while you were thinking all that

jaemin was asking about you all day like

“so y/n’s favourite is vanilla?”

“does y/n prefer a latte over cappuccino?”

“i want to serve y/n something,,,, what would be the best??”

auntie: how many times did he mention y/n today omg

and as auntie answers

jaemin is thinking like

i wanna see y/n smile

and the entire day your auntie is like !!he :)))))

lmao same auntie same

so when the peak hours finish she goes

“i can take care of everything now, go talk to y/n”

and jaemin just smiles brighter than ever

so when he comes around, you startle

but it puts a smile on your face

because hes brought your favourite cake and just a smiling jaemin in front of you uwu

you both get to know more about each other like

how theres this two boys named chenle & jisung in the preparatory course whom he adores to death

or like

theres this jeno boy whose jokes suck jeno i love you

with a bonus of

you talking about how johnny’s english class is nothing but a comedian’s lesson

so that day went great

and now that you are comfortable

you visit the cafe to talk with jaemin more

even when you have a chill no stress week

it just makes you feel lighter by coming to the cafe now

and your auntie is hella happy that you two are getting along so well

it continues for weeks

just you and jaemin talking from time to time when the peak hours are over or before the cafe opens

you became best pals basically

he encouraged you to join more school projects cause hes sure your photography is worth the chance

you giving him daily support when he feels like he isnt doing the best for his course

sometimes when your aunt had to leave for a couple hours near closing time

you two just stayed there talking for a couple hours giving comfort to each other

late night lattes and cakes

also one time you got so excited from the bestest grades you got you might have hugged him without thinking oops

and one day, jaemin’s friend renjun is there when you come after school

and hes like “hi uh dont mind me im just here a bit because jaemin has to go somewhere after this and i dont want him to be late”

so you just,,, chill as jaemin kinda rushes

and when he goes to the storage room, you just see renjun getting along with the auntie lmao

auntie: “so i got offered this contract with the new type of beans? and idk if i should take it because that would mean i have to go out of the city,,,,”

renjun: “for how long?”

auntie: “two weeks maybe”

renjun: “oh thats fine, dont worry about it. jaemin can take over that. next two weeks right? his mandatory work experience ends this week”

so thats how renjun signed jaemin up to work alone for auntie without his consent

and aunties like “y/n!! it would be so much for just jaemin, you should help him :) your break starts next week right?”

so you also got signed up to this thing

fast forward to first day of break

aka the first time you “work” there

you are nervous and jaemin can feel it

“dont worry y/n, ill do all the talking and coffee, you just have to serve & clean!!”

so you try to calm down a bit

not to mention that you are also nervous cause its only jaemin and you in the room

but then he sees you fumbling with tying the apron and

jaemin says “here, give it, ill do it for you” while smiling a little

and from the back he wraps the apron around your waist,,,

and hes so close to you,,, your heart is fluttering

okay heart stop beating so fast pls thank you

and little do you know,,, jaemin is flushing a bit behind your back,,,

you are both the cutest mess

and you break the silence with a smol

“thanks :))”

trying to contain yourself from screaming

adapting to the serving side & keeping youself busy

you dont realise jaemin is literally admiring you the entire time as you get used to the job,,,,

here and then you forget how close you might be standing next to jaemin,,,

you kinda also realise how rEALLY attractive he looks serving everyone with a huge smile 24/7

and the way some customers are obviously attracted to him,,,,

but what you dont know is he is literally taking this chance to highkey flirt with you lmao

waves (sometimes winks) across the room

causally hovers over you when you cant find/reach smth

beaming the biggest smile every minute he gets to himself

and at first you panicked like ?!????

cause was this jaemin boy holding back for a whole month

is this his nature yes

but it makes you so happy to see him smiling all the time beside you

so jaemin yes its working

you gotta admit tho his flirty-ish behaviour grew on you this entire week djskjssj

a week of giggly smiles uwu

but the week after was unexpectedly the busiest of the busiest

you two forgot national holidays collided with the weekends and for some, it was a week off,,,,,,

so the week rushes by so quickly compared to the last one

it kind saved you tho cause your heart cant take more of that flirty behaviour

and finally,

the peak days are over,,,

and you realise its been a while since the cafe was just you,,,, and well jaemin but just no customers

the silence with faint sounds of cups cluttering,,,, you missed it

so then you go sit on the high chair

just admiring jaemin organise the shelves

he starts to prepare a new cup of coffee then realises you smiling at him “were you in awe at how effortless i look right now??”

you chuckle at his remark,,,

(needless to say that your are chuckling to hide how your heart is melting at his smirky smile)

so you twirl a bit shyly,, and avert the gaze to the familiar wood of the counter

asking him “do you remember the day we first saw each other, me sitting here and you serving the latte?”

“ofc, its the day i met an angel”

oh so confidently na jaemin really just said that

you quickly look up at him like !!!?!???!

and thats how he earned a first kiss (or rather a peck) from you

leaning over the counter and pecking you, a whole blushy mess

then comes a clink by the door

you juMp,,,,,,,

oof the customer may or may not have seen you two

you both rush around flushed like a tomato lmao

spending the rest of the day like nothing happened oops

and after the day ends, you two close the cafe

as you starting walking you are caught off guard when

jaemin just takes your hand,,,

“look y/n!! the stars are so pretty!!”

and starts swinging your arm like a tall child,,,

your heart is skippingnsjsjsjs

then at the corner, jaemin turns around and goes

“this is actually the place i first saw you”

and you ??¿?¿¿

“i saw you taking the photo of this night light shining into the cafe”

still hand in hand, jaemin steps a little closer

and takes his free hand to cup your face, kissing you,,,,

you smile into him as he kisses so softly, thinking

maybe the day i took that photo was a friday night

and melting into the kiss, you really think you are dreaming,,,,,

under the lights you once wished capturing a sparkling moment with the cafe in the back

its now you and jaemin in the frame,,,,

the boy who had you forgetting to breathe a month ago

whos now serving your favourite latte with a bonus of pecks on the cheek,,,,, (maybe on the lips if theres no one watching)

anyways

jaemin brings light to your life and you have never been this happy until you met him uwu

and it goes both ways, jaemin cant live without you now,,,, you are the best thing thats ever happened to him

(thank the heavens & your auntie)

oh and also johnny for pushing you to submit that article lmao plus huang renjun for that involuntary sign up

[cheswirls]

tether notes 3/3

attached links

reference maps

pt 4 drawings

pkmn team graphics for 5 char

big bang art one / two

timeline

[this is very loose and only goes chronologically, so some points may happen years apart from each other]

caesar, under the family, begins research on creating an artificial arceus

the river from law’s village becomes polluted, and lami gets sick

everyone in law’s village dies. he travels to alola

corazon, the ula’ula kahuna, gets wind of caesar’s experiments

law joins the family in alola

law meets corazon, and shortly after embarks on an island challenge

after getting a special material on poni island, law meets with corazon, who tells him he was planning to turn the family over to the international police

corazon dies, and law escapes the family with one type:null

law ends up in the kalos region

luffy meets shanks, and learns about aura

luffy leaves for the sinnoh region to train with shanks for the first time

ace and sabo set off on a journey through the kanto region

luffy is given his second pokemon, a buizel, by shanks, to help cope with the loss of his brothers

sabo and ace return to travel kanto once more

sabo’s accident occurs; he’s hospitalized, but convinces ace to continue traveling

ace dies in an accident; sabo takes striker, his charizard, and leaves the sevii islands

luffy starts his journey looking for sabo

a band of pokemon poachers begins to grow more prominent in sinnoh; it’s led by caesar, who escaped capture at alola all those years ago

dragon’s group arrives in the sinnoh region

marguerite, a close confident with the sinnoh champion, goes missing

shanks sends luffy a letter; law boards a boat for sinnoh from kalos

the sinnoh champion, boa hancock, contacts shanks about marguerite

dragon arrives at snowpoint and meets with kokoro

aisa goes missing

tama goes missing and, catching word of this, shanks heads to tsuru from his meeting point with luffy

anana goes missing

luffy arrives in the sinnoh region

chimney goes missing, and shanks sets off to go look for all the missing girls

luffy migrates to jubilife, thinking it was veilstone; law arrives in the sinnoh region

shanks is captured and loses contact with boa hancock

dragon separates from his group, going off on his own

law and luffy meet in jubilife

-

the battle zone’s real-life location is a formerly-japanese-but-now-russian island called sakhalin. the lower half, specifically. the other island on the map where the pokemon league sits is based off a chain of japanese-owned islands that i can’t remember the name of and am too busy to look up right now. sakhalin is pretty barren, pretty remote, and pretty unpopulated. it’s also colder than hokkaido, being further north, but bc the pokemon-equivalent has an active volcano, the climate balances out.

i spent more time researching sakhalin on google earth than i did actually writing the entire travel part of part 4. like, an absurd amount of time. more than i needed to. but the result is a good portrayal, and an accurate, effortless one. here’s some geography stuff.

1. the squatty plants on sinnoh’s route 225 are probably stone pines. i say probably, bc i still came away unsure, but this was my best conclusion. i cross-referenced sakhalin flora with what i was seeing on google earth, paired with what was most common since these trees are everywhere in the battle zone. specifically they’re japanese stone pines, so more of a squatty bush than an actual tree. (also called dwarf siberian pines, or the genus name of the dwarf version, pinus pumila) in pokemon verse, i chose aguav berries as the pine’s fruit since the seeds grow in pink bundles, like an aguav plant in-game. also, an unripe pinecone is greet, so there’s that too. 

2. southern sakhalin, that i can remember, doesn’t actually have black-sand beaches. there’s one in platinum off the base of stark mountain, but since that’s aniva bay area of sakhalin, it doesn’t match up great. the only thing similar is in northeastern sakhalin, off the sea of okhotsk, where dark mud will collect on the coast and turn the beach dark. i wrote it off as a game mechanic, saying ‘it’s from the ash from the volcano’, or something like that, and then referenced beaches in iceland that are actual black-sand beaches and really pretty. 

3. aniva bay is southern sakhalin, essentially. it’s a fork, and in the middle is where the black sand beach is in platinum. in actuality, aniva bay is not that big. there’s a lighthouse off one fork, not tall or anything impressive, but it’s there. at one point i wanted law and luffy to sail in (i saw sail, i mean like surf on a pokemon okay) past the lighthouse, and go through the bay, and stop on the black sand beach. this was before i knew most anything about part four, though, and soon the idea was scrapped as i deviated towards the cargo ship taking them to fight area. also, aniva bay isn’t deep enough for whales to flop around in, and i realize since i called it a bay in tether that that should also hold true, but i did say it was a wailmer so let’s jus forget that inaccuracy and say its okay bc the whale is tiny.

4. stark mountain was a challenge i spent. so long. so so long. trying to find the  mountain range it was based off of. pokemon wikipedia was no help, bc sakhalin is huge. if i was gonna do anything for the pokemon community, i’d wanna go and edit articles to include real-life landmarks that in-game ones were based on. i think the closest thing i found to a once-volcano was more into the northern half of sakhalin, so after spending too much time looking into it, i jus wrote based on screenshots of stark mountain, and on my own intuition. also, yea, i used video game logic the closer they got to the volcano. please don’t depict characters holding cloth over their mouths to protect from sulfur ash if youre going for accuracy, bc thats not going to help. 

5. the survival area and the ainu village. i wrote a little about the ainu in part one, while exploring law’s village. my main amount of research went into the ainu’s of sakhalin, though. it’s all sorta the same culture, since they all got kicked out migrated to hokkaido anyway, but there are a few differences. the sheer rock cliff is part of a sakhalin photoset i referenced, so it does exist, somewhere. yes, there are bears in sakhalin, perhaps even more than hokkaido, since it’s less-human-populated. but, again, also colder. i realize survival area is a settlement in platinum, but also.. its really small? and kinda nothing, tbh. so i transformed it into an ainu village, since it’s so outta the way of the other two areas down on each fork of the bay, and it’s closer to the volcano, where the fire goddess resides.

the ainu are the indigenous population of japan. i mentioned before, if you’ve read fma or one of arakawa’s spreads, you’ve probably heard of them. in fma, they’re the race that the ishvalans are based off of. nowadays, they reside in hokkaido, and a while ago they used to reside in lower sakhalin. i couldn’t figure up a creative name for tether for them and i was in so much of a time crunch that in the end i didnt bother, sue me. researching the ainu was most definitely one of the more time-consuming tasks. i spent a long time reading. i watched, after a good recommendation, all two seasons of golden kamuy (an excellent portrayal of hokkaido!ainu, btw, jus not exactly what i was going for) and all one season of sirius the jaegar, where i got the most help from. marking maps and writing the outline (and making myself remember why i dont ever outline. ever.) were definitely time-consuming, but ainu research was by far the most hours i spent on a task for tether (besides like, writing it.) 

i still don’t feel like i did enough research, so the cultural things i did include i tried to keep vague to keep from portraying wrong. the bear ceremonies, the signs of summer through salmon (finneon) hunting and huki harvesting, the bear cub raising, the ripping of clothing in a funeral procession, and the kamuy (ainu gods) are all real things and part of ainu culture. woman tattoo their lips, yes. the patterns of the clothing are distinctive (also warm, bc they’ve always been This Far North, and tether!law is a bastardization of forgotten ainu culture pls dont look at his sleeveless top next to his wooden earrings i beg you) there are lots of things i could go into, but im jus gonna leave it vague again and say if you’re super interested, go find an article or watch golden kamuy. 

there wasn’t a lot of pokemon depicted in the wilds of the battle zone, and for reason. at this point i really wanted to keep true to sakhalin, so i stuck with the fauna native there, and the pokemon native to sinnoh, and if i didn’t include any pokemon that actually appear in the battle zone in platinum? oops. my house my rules. anyway so horses, dogs, wolves, bears. rapidash, eevee, luxray line, ursaring line.. that covers it, right? oh, and fearow. okay, so i did include one pokemon from platinum’s battle zone. also wailmer, there was a wailmer. 

why did you include baroque works into dragon’s group?

so. i wrote tether while the vivre cards were coming out. specifically, right before i was supposed to have started writing part 4, the alabasta pack came out, and i was so taken with goldenweek’s real name that i re-read little garden and stuck her into the story. bentham was.. k, no lie, in my mind he’s like a pseudo-rev member? i jus associate hm so heavily with ivankov, and i read a fic once where he was iva’s student and since then i’ve jus always had to include him in rev stuff so that’s why he’s here. plus i love him. good enough, right? and those two are the only ones, so it’s not entirely baroque works. i don’t rly consider bentham bw anymore, like i said, he’s kinda a pseudo-rev. and i jus rly liked marianne’s name. also her, now. tether!marianne is cool. 85% of the story’s sass.

april 9th is both caesar and marguerite’s birthday. i think in the beginning i was searching for characters that share birthdays for a plot point, and when i settled on caesar i settled on marguerite eventually for this reason just so i could make the whole ‘it’s not his bday its mine!!’ joke. and then i formed the whole story on it being late march-early april and based the weather off that.

law’s sixth pokemon. see, i told you revealing it was strategic! you all were expecting null, right? and then out pops silvally. well, it’s been so many years, so it’s natural they would’ve figured out love and trust and such and breaking the mask and evolving. still! aaaa, that felt so good to write. 

there’s more of a metaphor with silvally, even more with umbreon, that i was going for. something along the lines of a captured being being granted escape, bonding with someone, coming back to get due vengeance with the old captor, showing how much more they had become. with umbreon, it was more thing-i-protected-grew-into-something-that-now-protects-me aka her helping law through his nightmares, being a generally supportive and kind pokemon like someone law knew wink wink. also literally protect, with the whole casear thing.

okay mind control time. i reread pt 4 real quick before writing the notes, and im still not completely satisfied with how shanks broke free. i tried to hard to research good mind control depictions but i was more interested in figuring out how the mind control ended rather than the state of being, and there weren’t many promising results other than the victim dying, which wasn’t helpful. i knew i didn’t want it to be the whole i-love-you-so-snap-out-of-it thing, thats so cheesy and kinda ridiculous tbh. i think luffy confronting shanks’ inner self directly and convincing him to step out is nice, but if you pay attention closer to the scenes and how they match up, you might notice something that aids this.

so, it wasn’t just luffy. i know a lot goes on in latter half of pt 4, and all the scenes are disjointed. law and umbreon and silvally defeat gengar before shanks awakes properly. it was luffy, yes, that convinced him everything was going to be okay, and to not falter. but since gengar was knocked unconscious, the control over shanks was already waning to begin with. it was more like, he was already fine, and out of the cycle, but the trauma kept him from realizing it until luffy came. does that help? so basically, it wasn’t luffy talking alone, it was defeating gengar, like luffy had thought of previously. and then it was helping shanks thorugh it, because you don’t just bounce back from that. thats why i wrote shanks Like That in the remaining scenes.

while not in the best conditions as lab 3, labs 1 and 2 were fully-operational and secure facilities, so if you were questioning why sabo and law (mortally injured, mind you -two stab wounds, ow) would just leave the people and pokemon next to a burning lab, it’s because it was secure and the fire contained. the base was inside a volcano, guys, there’s no way the rooms werent airtight to prevent an accident. imagine being That Guy that fucked something up and led to the active volcano erupting. of course they took precautions. also, sabo had been working in the base for a bit, so if he thought the people were gonna catch fire, he wouldn’t have left them.

koala having aromatisse was purely for plot purposes, for it’s hidden ability. i needed a psychic type, and if i haven’t mentioned, dragon’s group are based in kalos, so it had to be from there. it fits though, maybe, right? anywa, yea, that’s why sabo has a delphox and salamence after he fucks off for two years, because he was in kalos. (this is what i’m referring to, if you haven’t clicked on any of those links.)

Law takes Luffy’s hand and leads them backwards, until they’re out of sight again

and, finally, my favorite moment of tether, when lawlu graduates from arms to wrists to finally holding hands. /cries so proud

k but what’s with that ending?

fun fact time i always knew how i wanted to end tether. from the moment of its conception, even before i finished writing part 1 (before i started, really, back when i was gathering material) i knew it ended with dragon in front of the statue of giratina. insert obligatory sequel joke here marianne mentions, before the trio ventures into the base, that her group’s leader wouldn’t appreciate having to halt his own agenda to help them with taking out the hunters. giratina was this agenda. 

originally, before i started on pt 2, i thought abt law/lu taking a different route. i wanted them to go north, up through eterna forest and to eterna city, and examine the statue of dialga. then go east from there, still taking them through coronet, but then through celestic town and seeing the cave painting of the lake guardians. i also really wanted them to go to lake valor, since it was the only lake they could conceivably go to on their way to veilstone. i thought about switching pastoria for snowpoint and encountering sabo at lake acuity. none of this worked out, but it was all supposed to reference back into dragon and giratina and sinnoh lore. instead i turned it fully into a travel fic and then a rescue op, at the end. it’s still interesting to think how the story could’ve changed, had they gone up to eterna before crossing through coronet. 

in all honesty i wanted to end the story on a surprise note. almost like a goosebumps ending, where everything is resolved and then at the very end there’s a quick scene that leaves you grasping for more, leaves you questioning. (also like certain op chapters leaving you with zero answers and more questions than you started with, fuck you, oda) it wasn’t until i was almost done with part 4 that i started to kinda miss tether, even tho i wasnt done yet but my outline had been done for a bit so i kinda was? and then i remembered back in november when i created concepts for ace and sabo before i even wrote that one scene in mt coronet, and i remembered thinking so much about their story, and their travels, and sabo’s accident. and then, not long after i finished with part 4, i had a startling idea, and i had a first line of a maybe sequel, and i started to put a little more thought into it.

if you’re looking for confirmation, this isn’t it. this is saying i have an idea i’d like to explore. maybe. tether took a lot of work, and a lot of time. it definitely doesn’t have as much feedback as i would like it to, for me to invest in a full-fledged sequel. if i start this, if i ever do, it’ll definitely be more lax, and a chapter-by-chapter sort of thing. i guess it just comes down to how many people are actually interested in it.

[8eht]

pls answer questions 1-10 andddd 17 😚😚😻😻😚😻😚😻😚😻♥♥♥

1. how old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

well i literally jsut started in nov 2017 so 26!!! i mean, if u want my deepest darkest secret i started an exo fic back in like 2012 but didnt write anything after like 2 paragraphs lmao akjfhakfjsasf

2.what fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

seventeen almost exclusively. although i do have an ongoing monsta x fic! ive considered writing for some video games like life is strange or detroit: become human, but i think i’ll stick with seventeen for now. svt is def my fave to write about, specifically junhao and gyuhao but thats prob obv

3. do you prefer writing oc’s or reader inserts? explain your answer.

neither??? everything i write is member/member so it doesnt really apply. however, ive been kind of tempted to write reader inserts but i pro wont bc its embarrassing aksfjhafkafjas. i might tho eventually. its just really not my thing.

4. what is your favourite genre to write for?

angst!!!!! heavy heavy heavy angst!!! with very subtle, but important ‘fluff’ here and there. i normally write boring things like uni or just everyday non-idol aus, but idk lately ive been really loving my sci-fi/dystopian au so who knows. im always changing!!! but yes, angst is something i will always write no matter what.

ive never been into fluff or soft stuff and prob never will. even if i were to write something fluffy, there will def be lots of angst too akjsfhasfk

5. if you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

okay so. ive only posted like two (kinda three) multi-chptered fics atm. and only one has multiple chapters posted. like atm im working one like … five multi-chaptered fics?? but i think no matter what natural born losers with be my favorite forever. i put so mucho f myself into it that it will always be the most important thing to me.

even if im not finished with even the first chapt of some, i KNOW natural born losers will be my fave forever.

send me fanfic asks 🍒

6. if you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

most def the monsta x one bc im just not feeling it no matter how much i try. i just see too many things abt it i dont like. i want to do better with the second chpt, but if i HAD to delete one it would be that :((((((

i do love it a lot. it has to do with a lot of personal things that have actually happened to me, and there are some parts that im even surprised i had written bc i find them that wonderful (im not trying to be full of myself bc i normally think i suck) and im in love with those particualr bits.

but i mean, if i HAD to choose it would be breaths, hands, and other things to hold.

7. when is your preferred time to write?

literally any time. if im in the mood, then i will do it. even if im trying to sleep and its 4:37 am i will get up and write. whenever i get the urge to write i will!! there rly is no specific time.

8. where do you take your inspiration from?

so so so so so many diff places. from real life, to tv shows, to music. but for some specifics, nicole dollanger will forever be someone i take a huge inspiration from. all of her music is really how i feel, so she helps me get my feelings out in paper.

like i swear, anything i write, u can bet im listening to her while i write.

bc shes me, honestly. but a smarter and more articulate me.

9. in your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

im gonna choose an unpublished fic if thats okay!!!

so im gonna choose a scene from flowers of flesh and blood.

i havent published it yet, so i wont get into too much detail. but if you’ve played dbh you’ll kinda understand. but in it is a scene where ‘someone’ and his father picks out an android :^)

everyone will see wut i mean when i post it so asfjhasjfk. i dont want to give anything away, but im super excited abt it!!!!

10. in your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? did you have an alternate ending in mind?

ok so another one of an unpublished fic!!!!!!!!

im not gonna give aNYTHING away buy i’ll tell u this. there is no ending. the ending is very up to the reader :^)

but it’s gonna be called how to stop never being sad and i’ll post it when i finish.

im only talking abt this one bc none of my current published fics are finished or close to being finished.

17. post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

a blanket of courage covering all of his ugly blemishes, leaving him with a dewy and luminous finish.

[goldenscript]

SFJHFHS..... YOU JST MADE ME SOFT. YOURE SO CUTE. SO IM ABOUT TO POUR OUT MY LOVE FOR U RIGHT HERE. SO MISS EM. MY HEART N MY SOUL. YOU'RE REALLY SO FUKIN CUTE N SWEET AND SO SO TALENTED UR WRITINGS, LIFECHANGING!!! MISS PROVE IT. WENT AHEAD AND RLY CHANGED MY LIFE ..NOT JST A KIHYUN FIC THE KIHYUN FIC! N MADE ME WANT TO WRITE. AND LIKE IVE FOLLOWED U A LONG TIME AGO EVEN BEFORE I OFFICIALLY SWITCHED TO BEING A MBB. THE THING IS. LIKE I BABBLE TO MY FRIENDS ABOUT U A LOT WTF N THEY KNOW U (1/?)

I’M LIKE….. THIS IS AN EM HOUSE IN THIS HOUSE WE ONLY LOVE EM….. AND I CALL YOU MY ULT FSHJFHS IM LIKE WHO IS MR KIHYUN… (SUPPOSED TO BE MY ETERNAL LOVE)…. I RLY DONT KNOW HIM I ONLY KNOW THIS ADORABLE GIRL RIGHT HERE THE SUPREME…N MY FRIENDS  R LIKE. U IDIOT JST DROP HER A MESSAGE SHE’S VERY BRIGHT N WELCOMING AND IM LIKE. GOD I WISH… MISS EM I AM A LITERAL GREMLIN FROM THE PITS OF HELL I COULD NEVER…i, a mere demon, the only thing lifting me up being my love For U and ur works             

I WONT PUT A NUMBER ANYMORE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHEN THIS WILL END…BUT IT’S LIKE… FSJHF. I LITERALLY… SAY THE WORST THINGS EVER LIKE ALL THE TIME…..AND USUALLY I HAVE NO FEAR N IM JUST. HERE BEING MYSELF. BEING A DUMB BITCH. BT LIKE IM INTIMIDATED BC I ADMIRE U SO MUCH YOU RLLY ARE AN ANGEL I JST… DONT KNOW WHA T TO DO WITH MYSELF ALL THIS TIME IVE JST BEEN SITTING AROUND LIKE BEHIND A FLOWER REACHING DESPERATELY TRYING TO GRAB AN OPPORTUNITY TO POUR MY LOVE FOR U ….             

BUT TODAY I JUST HAD THIS RANDOM THOUGHT LIKE. HEY. I GOTTA DO IT NOW I WAS OVERWHELMED BY LOVE AND I SAID NO MORE…. IT IS NO MORE THAT I HIDE….. THAT I SUFFER IN SILENCE AND DARKNESS…. AND NOW IM OUT. OUT ON ANON CAUSE IM STILL SO SHY HJFHSF  MY FRIENDS WLD LAUGH AT ME SO MUCH KNOWING THE SHIT I SAY MEANWHILE IM A FOOL WHO WRITES U LOVE ESSAYS ON ANON INSTEAD OF TALKING TO U BUT YES…. I LOVE U OK YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS ONLY !!!!!!!      

I am in awe!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are most certainly not a gremlin!!!! how can you say that when you literally just wrote me the sweetest love letter ever??????? you are an angel! a sweetheart! you’re making my heart swell and brim to the top with love and feeling and wow I’m so touched! honestly, it makes me so happy that you decided to message me like where the heck have you been angel?! also, if you sent more than I’m sorry that tumblr’s the real bitch here!!! ‘cuz you aren’t that either! I’m just reeling because you really liked prove it! & that you tell your friends about me!!! like pls!!!!!! I am an angel (aka you) stan now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[janiedean]

(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so...

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

 I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the 'ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.

There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.

It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like... tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.

They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff. 

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that... except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is... like... guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like... no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and... killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like... I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like... I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just... nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like... haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)

[vonseal]

what im weak for this week

yet again, im dumb so we have two weeks worth! i’ll be on top of it next time, i promise!

this is real long, forewarning, but you guys are such good writers sooooo

(from now on, im keeping a running draft that i will just post once a week, this takes so long when i wait two weeks omg)

two boys; one bed by fivepixelphan

(tbh this sounds like it’s going to be dirtier than it is) (and in case you’re wondering, it’s 0% dirty, 100% cute) i love socky and i dont love unrequited feelings and so i was pretty covered in this fic, because it’s SOCKY WITH A HAPPY ENDING! all i wanted was a happy ending while reading through this fic, so bless fivepixelphan for coming through for me! <3

faking it by koutarous

when moonbin needs a fake boyfriend, who does he choose? obviously eunwoo because binu lives forever in our hearts!!! this sort of reminded me of coffee prince, without the whole “eunwoo is a girl holy cow” type of thing going on, which is just fine with me! i love the plot, because it’s corny and cliched and that’s legit my middle name (corny and cliched - it’s no longer Vonseal). please please please read this! it was just perfect!

you & me by sanhasbinu

why do i expect happy fics, all of a sudden there is an influx of angst and my heart is being ripped from my chest. sanahasbinu has been on here before with an angsty fic (cotton candy, check it out), and i thought maybe i wouldn’t have to deal with the pain anymore, but i do. i do. and i love every second of the heart-wrenching feels (i’m 21 and i still use feels unironically, lord save me).

i saw an angel by parkjinwoes

SOMEONE GIFTED SOCKY TO ME!!! i cried reading it, it was long and funny and sort of sad at times, i just wanted them both to be happy together, but then this line: However, Yoon Sanha is also terrible at keeping secrets and feelings to himself. Oblivious to him, Park Minhyuk is too good at doing that. THAT MADE ME REALIZE i gotta trudge through the sad first before getting to the happy. but when i got to the happy, BOY OH MAN it was definitely happy. big recommendation right here!

centaurea cyanus by A_N_D_Y

I WAS SO SCARED OMG. usually with these hanahaki type of fics (tbh i still dont fully understand what the hanahaki thing is or how it came about, but i’ve read three astro fics relating to this so i may or may not be a sorta-expert), someone ends up dying??? annnnnd i really thought death would come in this fic. and i dont want to tell how it ends, but pls understand binu is forever alive and well within our hearts (and maybe the fic, i may or may not be giving away the ending)

shopping list by Shinigamibutter

when she releases cute myungjin, she really release cute myungjin. i mean, this was so fluffy and domestic and i just wanted it to go on forever and ever. never before has a shopping trip been so interesting!!! never before has it filled me with such joy and happiness! also BUTT GROPING YES (you guys learned my weakness)

like a game of hide-and-seek by kimtaehyungsleftpinky

frat boy jinwoo is something i never knew i needed in my life, but good golly, i did need it. coupled with cat owner myungjun (also my weakness - cats and myungjun, how dare) this fic was just perfect??? i want to know more about their relationship and  “I don’t like your cat.” Jinwoo muttered and looked at Marco in disgust. Myungjun gasped and covered Marco’s ears as if the cat had understood what Jinwoo had said. this just made my entire day, that’s a me thing, hashtag relatable.

our own space travels, shall we leave? by spaceviolet (vividplum)

MINHYUK IS THE TRUE MVP OF THIS FIC. i wish i had barista minhyuk all the time. but we have more socky (i am REALLY loving this sudden rush of socky fics, you guys rock!) and SANHA GETS STOOD UP and i’ll punch whoever stood him up. but minhyuk is ready with the correct drink order, bless this barista, and his pals are hilarious and i just had a lot of feelings for this fic <3

soft rock by birdbrainberke

soft pebble minhyuk, so soft and so in love with yoon sanha. this is the socky sequel (is it a sequel?) to the broken bones fic i posted and raved about recently, and oh my good golly, i love this so much. i love the insight to minhyuk’s character, and the reasons he does the things he does and says the things he says. also he is #savage towards bin, which cracks me up, and i love birdbrainberke and all his beautiful, wonderful fics <3

blood, sweat & tears by jiminaddiction

(is this a bts reference? i’ve only heard three bts songs, but i think this is a bts reference?) so im a little nervous about this one because it’s got some crazy tags that make me scared for the future. I DO NOT LIKE SADNESS AND PAIN and i think i’m going to get it. im a soft, meek marshmallow, and i finally found some Moonrock and I KNOW THERE WILL BE SADNESS AND PAIN. but i think i can trudge through, i will be strong!

cliche by Shinigamibutter

THIS IS SO SOFT AND CUTE BINU how do you write such cute and soft binu??? idk, but i love the little descriptions of bin’s smile and eunwoo’s absolute infatuation with him, like this is short and sweet and it pierces my heart with the cute, bless u for this!

the sweet ride home by diametrical

idk if you guys know this, but i love kids and i love families and i love astro, so when you just combine all three of these into one, im just a melted pile of gooey feelings. binu and eunwoo as a single dad kills my heart it just melts it all completely. this was so well-written, too, and i found myself ready to sacrifice someone to get more of it (i jest only slightly).

made in the a.m. by koutarous

tbh mj is me drinking - i’ve been forbidden to drink at work events anymore because i am easily drunk, i am not sorry for my low alcohol tolerance and neither is mj, apparently, because he does it regardless. i didnt expect the MYUNGJIN BUT I GOT THE MYUNGJIN and i may or may not have just fallen in love with it???? bless u for writing this (underage drinking = big no no)

secret by j_kwanboo

JINCHA!!! JIN. CHA. tbh thats all that i need sometimes, some good ol jincha (flashback to jinjin calling eunwoo pretty and my heart melting, that was so cute), and this is cute jincha and also SANHA LOSES HIS INNOCENT EYES, PLEASE SPARE MY CHILD!!! i really loved this fic, i laughed at it and i will hug poor sanha and give him back his purity.

who wrote the book on goodbye? by Rach4040

when i was younger, i thought i was so mature for liking that dear john book by that-fantastic-romance-author-whose-name-escapes-me, but then i realized i hate those goodbyes for lengthy periods of time, so by all accounts i should hate this, but i can’t because it’s cute and pure and it is a little sad, but i know it will be happy in the end!!! <3

train to busan astro au by @glowingjinjin

i am still very mad at this whole fic, do not read if you value your heart in one piece, im not even kidding i just cried over this a lot and im waiting for some cute myungjin, lanna, or else i might punch someone in the face, not naming names at all, but even going back to link this fic made me get flashbacks and i feel empty inside thinking about it. how dare u. dont read this, on second thought, it’s painful.

UPDATED FICS FROM LAST TWO WEEKS -

problems with pastry by sanhasbinu: im glad mj survived war  ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^

hide and seek by Mintwho (NaCltyRy): mj, why do you gotta be this way??? also why do you gotta write a fic making me choose between my bias and my bias wrecker, like im so sad

the year we met by  fivepixelphan: MY HEART IS SLOWLY BEING MENDED IM DYING IN CUTE FEELS NOW

medley by sassysavagesanha (RedJusticeLibra): i get so hyped whenever this gets updated, you always deliver such cute socky!!!

stray romance by Alette: MJ: im an adult i cant just come willy-nilly. ROCKY: eunwoo has boyfriend. MJ: im coming willy-nilly. i love.

and if you ever have anything you think i need to check out, hit me up with that fic, fams. i dont even care if it’s your own. i check a03 regularly, so if it’s something posted elsewhere, pls let me know!

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Holiii! They didnt want to watch Dunkirk? Too bad.   A sting one? I didnt hear about that. But its possible. 3000 euros? Byeee😂😂😂😂. I'm a broken student. Have some mercy on me pls. I agree 100% with what you said about parenting and conditioning kids. It's kind of sad, but also real. (1)

Hiiii!!!! Sorry I’m so late, but what a weekend! Did you know that today was Mother’s Day?L well, a lot of people seemed to have forgotten it 🙄🙄. I had so many things to do, lol. But, well, I, gonna try answer everything, bc tomorrow I won’t be able either, and I don’t want to have you waiting.Okay, in their defense I’ll say they have already seen it,jajjajaa. But, well, why don’t watch it again!?!?! I think it was a Sting one. If not him, someone like him, oops 🙊.I thing it’s cheaper now. That was like 8 years ago. Now, I guess there are more clinics that do it. Back then, there was only one. But look at the good side, if you sight isn’t stable yet, you can’t have it done. And we you finally can, you’ll have a job (hopefully) to pay for it, and it will be cheaper, jejeje.

Bringing balloons sounds like a great idea!! They had them at the last show i went and it was really cool (even though i never got to touch one of them. Jajajaj). If you do decide to bring them, i’m sure you all will have a wonderful time! Ooh, okay. Thanks for the info. I’ll take a pic when she finally puts the poster and i will send it to you🤗 (2)

Lol, imagine if I bring them, and I start glowing them, and I get dizzy, and miss part of the concert because I get sick, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. That’d be awful!! jjajaja. But I’m slowly convincing myself to bring them, and then I’ll see if I can blow them and all that. (Ijejdiebdc I really rally want!!! But I don’t want people looking at me like I’m a crazy old lady 😅 (even if no one sees me)).I’d love to see that door, but only show me if you’re totally comfortable with it,love.

JAJAJAJA. Andy y Lucas? Really? (They came to my city’s festivity last year😂) Almost the same thing as Niall. Yep. I wasnt allowed to go to a show without my parents until i was 18 years old, and look at them now! And this is no even their first concert. Last year we went to see Ed Sheeran in Barcelona (another Bday present for my little sister). I dont know how they can be so convincing (lying. I do know. My sister is the little one and that counts…). But i’m happy for them. I really am. (4)

Hey, Andy y Lucas were a totally hit with they’re first album ,jajaja, have some respect 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Me and my friends spent a summer walking around with our DiskMan (you know what it is, don’t ya) on hand, listening and singing their songs, lol. I got to see them twice now that I remember, lol. They came to where my sister was living, and we went to see them. Again me dragging my sister to see artist she doesn’t like,jajajja. Tbh, I haven’t being to a lot of concerts in my life :( I’ve to see: Andy y Lucasx2, Bisbal, Bustamante and Rosa (year 2002), David Civera!! 🤣 (2001), Pereza, and I think that’s that. Then I went to 1D in 2014, and Harry and Niall this year. What a lame teenage. I’d love to see Ed, how good it was?? Also, you’re little sister is a proper little sibling, eh!! Jajajaja.

Yes yes. Now they have to come back to make it up to me. (DO IIIIT PLS, IM DYING). Oooh. I saw the video of honey you uploaded 😍 Weird, but cute. Jajajajaja Yep. I’m pretty sure she follows you, because i’m always showing her blogs that i like; “this one is hilarous” or “look at the art”, and when i first found yours i was like “WHAAAAAAAT. A SPANISH LARRIE. CANT BE”. So i showed it to her. But i’m not worried bcs she is been so busy she doesnt even check tumblr anymore. Sadly. (5)

Weird is a thing to called it. Some people think is disgusting,jajajajja. I don’t careeeee, I love my weirdoooo!!! Jajajaja I go around showing his videos to whoever wants to listen,jajajjajaaj. Ohhh, I’m a Spanish larrie 😢. There are so few of us…there are probably a lot more of us, but since we all speak in English, you can’t never know. I’ve found other Spanish larries, but don’t think I follow anyone, lol. Have I told you about the most absurd thing that has ever happened to me???????? It was at Harry’s concert. The girl who I sold a ticket to, avert been talking for a bit, turns to me an ask me with the most serious face you can think “are you a larrie?” But in Spanish sounds different, as it’s something I don’t talk out loud ever,jajaja “(eres larrie?)”. And I turned to her like a little rabbit flashed in the middle of a road 😳. And I asked her “are you?” Jajajaja. And we both were, obviously. (I laughed at the absurdity of the conversation,jajajaja). And we talked a bit about Larry things, but with hushed voices, just to not alert any anti/her, whatever you want to call it,jajajaja. Well, if she doesn’t check, you don’t have to be worried. But are you keeping her informed on everything that happens? (Harry’s suits, everything Niall, Limo’s new song, LOUIS!!)

JAJAJAJA. Fun fact, my name is indeed a flowery one. Idk how, but you got that right. We can keep that name if you want. I like it. It’s cute 😊 Ooh. Yes. You started babtsitting this week right? I forgot to ask how it went. Sorry :( Omg. Your cousins sounds amazing. Really smart. He could read at the age of 2? That’s… a lot. And photographic memory? That’s a blessing amd a curse. Is that because of the autism? (I’m sorry i dont know a lot about autism) (6)

SERIOUSLY???? I don’t know why (well, I know why. I’m half witch-half human, but can talk about that later,jajaja), but you reminds me of flowers (my brain is very weird, and doesn’t make sense a lot of the time). Okay, I’ll tag things I want you to see with flower anon. Probably I’ll include a 🌺 in the tags, but that’s just because I live for emojis,jajajajja.Hey, don’t worry for not asking, I forget a lot of things, and then I remember at the most random times 🙄🙄. Well, he’s like very special. When they thought he was autist(?), doctors considerate him a super intelligent one. But in one of his revisions, they told my cousin’s parents that he wasn’t autist, but he was a very slow normal kid. So 🤷🏻‍♀️. Anyway, I don’t think photography memory is because of that. His mom has it too and my cousin (my little cousin’s dad) is always telling who usefully it was for her when she was at uni,jajajaja. He’s only a bit jealous. But I don’t know about my cousin. Of course I see his different to the rest of kids his age, but at the same time he knows thinks kids at his age don’t even dream about knowing. And is not exactly that he knew how to read, but with his memory he could recognize a word after having watched Optica written once, and repeat it out loud. Like, his mom could write once Papá, and he could remember the world anytime you’d write it. And they taught him a lot of words. And we buy him a lot of toys related with words and all that, so he learn what sound goes with what letter. So he just started reading one day. It’s amazing.

🤦🤦Depriving someone of strawberry cake only because it is pink should be considered a crime. Yeah, i think my friend wrote it. And i told her in my answers that i thought the survey was not well done, but she hasnt reach me, and i dont think she will. I’m not sure she will even use my answers bcs i went a bit overboard with them. I guess she was looking for “yes/no because of that” answers but instead i wrote her a dissertation about sexuality, genders and social construction. Ups. (7)

Pink candies even!!! Isn’t that a big case of bad parenting?!?! 🙄🙄🙄🙄 I’ll show you what I did yesterday (I hope I don’t forget,lol), and you’ll understand why I’m the rainbow queen,jajajaja.Well, if you’re close enough to each other, I think you could talk to her in person? Explain her why it was wrong? She can ignore you if you’re face to face. Maybe she’ll learn something?  Maybe she didn’t saw anything wrong with the way it was written, but if you explains it to her, she’ll understand. 🤷🏻‍♀️Also, well done 👏🏻👏🏻 on being faithful to you and your thoughts! I’m proud of you!!

Same happens to me. I spend far too much alone, and when i can, i talk as much as possible. I totally understand. Niall had kittens? She was the one that eat them? Or it was another of the cats? Oh oh!! I just remembered you said in the tags the other day that we should talk about fics and recs, but i forgot to answer then. Did you wanna talk about something in particular?? (8)

Yeah, Niall has kittens. And this time she didn’t get to eat them. She hid them anger something and two of them died. And the other one died yesterday, I think, because she didn’t feed it. I don’t know what is wrong with that cat. We even thought that something was wrong with the kittens (because their parents were siblings (niall and Louis 😅), but this time soured they were sons of another dad, so 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️. It must be her.Ooooohhhhh, fics. I love reading fics, jajaja, but I can think about anything in particular now 😭😭😭😭😭 (Bc I’m tired, and sleeping, and dreading tomorrow’s morning 😫😫). But, yes, of course, someday will talk about fics. When you’re freer. Also, when were your exams starting this week or last week???? 😱😱😱 I can’t remember!! This weekend was soooo long, it felt like a month!! Jajaja. But very very very good luck on your exams!!! You keep me informed, please?

Hazte oír? Please, dont remember me that. I was so angry. I still am. And part of my family (my conservative cousins) agree with that statement and the organisation and uh 😷. I dont understand how they can be so intolerant. I find it horrifying. Some months ago, my teacher brought someone to give a lecture, and i left halfway because i was getting too angry about what he was saying, and later i found he was from Hazte Oír and it all made sense. (9)

WHAT?? You have family who supports that?? Who are you related to them?? Okay, I started answering this before I finish reading, and now that I did you’ve let me speechless. They brought someone from that association to your uni??? 😳. I can’t believe it. But I applaud you for leaving. What a shame. Seriously, I don’t know what to tell. I find it horrifying that teachers/schools/universities do that. Because that is educate in hate. 😡😡😡😡 I’m getting angry just thinking it. I don’t know why, but I become irrational when I’m in front of that kind of thoughts. Like all I want to do is shut their f*cking mouths, and scream SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPPPP!!!! IdufbvbfivubrfvI’m so sorry you have to deal with that!!

JAJAJJAJA. I wasnt serious. I just find hilarious when they call us a cult. Because we are not ?? Nop. I’m her favourite guinea pig, and she know that i dont do wax. I have only done that 2 times, and there’s not gonna be a third. I relate too much to your cousin, jajajaja. I just help her when she need someone to practice massages with, or anything not involving wax. I dont know about Oh Anna life, but a version without the screaming & the backround noises would be nice. (Reminder approved). 10

I call us a cult??? When??? Jajajjaja. I don’t remember, but if I said it, it was sarcasm, for sure, jajajaa.Jajaja “and there’s not gonna be a third” 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh, but aren’t you smart??? Jajajaja. You only want the good things!! No no, I you want a massage, you have to go to her wax exams, jajajaja. I don’t know why people don’t go willingly to be waxed by people who’s learning how to wax. What bad could happen?? Jajaja. My wax teacher told us that once, a previous year, one of the students let a drop of was fall on an another student eye. And to retire that wax, they had to cut her eyelashes!! THAT is horrific and traumatic!! She told us, so we didn’t ever forget that we don’t have move the wax around our clients faces/eyes. And it was the perfect story to never do it,jajaja.At this moment, I’m all in about buying a delux album with just oh Anna, Medicine, baby honey, and that melody he played yesterday(?) for 15€ plus (gastos de envío).

YOU SAW THE NEWS ABOUT LOUIS? HE IS PARTIALLY FREE. Yaaaay. And also, Liam appeared on TV? Where? What did they say? Pd. He said the word “sacapuntas” once again😂 and i love him. And, have you watched familiar mv? I havent yet, but my sister said it was cool. And last but no least, how are you? Did you had a good time? 11

Ay, don’t remember me. I still get emotional imagining good things happening to Louis. I hope/wish/pray that everything is happening in that regard is accord to him. And that this isn’t another fake good thing. I’m so tired of expecting good for him, and then he never gets it. And, realistically, I know at some point in the future, he will be “completely” free, but I can’t wait for that day. BE TOMORROW!! Well, we only can wait and see how thing go happening.Yes, I already told you about Liam. It was just exactly a minute, but it makes me so happy. And he’s everywhere!! Even in Spain! I can’t believe it. He’s doing so well. I think he said sacapuntas too,jajajaja. That’s all he knows!!🤣🤣😱😱😱 I haven’t yet!!! I totally forgot!!! I hope tomorrow I get to watch it. Sorry, limo.I’m good, thanks for asking, jajajaa, just a bit tired and sleepy. And tomorrow I have to go to some doctors p, I have to wake up at dawn (🤣🤣🤣🤣, it’s been so long since I woke up that early). But well, my sister just changed me this week’s day of work. Instead of Tuesday, I have to go on Wednesday, so u can nap Monday and Tuesday!jajaja (I haven’t go to sleep in Sunday, and I’m already thinking about my Tuesday’s nap 😅😅). And this Friday. IGET TO SEE NIALL!!!!! 😱😭😱😭😱😭 I can’t waiiiittttt!!!!!!!

This is what i we’re doing for some time yesterday, see the rainbow?? Jajajaa. I try to put rainbows every time I get a chance 🤣🤣🤣. I’m evil!!! (I know it’s not exactly a rainbow, but it was the most similar I could get 😅). And see this pink candies (marshmallows) at eh bottom? Well, some boys/kids can’t eat them, bc they’ll lose their masculinity 🙄🙄🙄🙄.

That’s all for tonight my lovely flower 🌺 anon. Have a nice day/week. Keep studying hard, so you can get your good results at the end of it all. 😚😚