#yes i thought of this while writing the next chap of slow down why do u ask bskshskdnkd

[saturn-sends-hugs]

crosshair is the type of guy to ask for your pronouns before he insults you

he’ll call you an idiot but misgendering is just too far lol

[dreamofjoys]

— 𝗖𝗛𝗣 𝟮 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗦

→ this chapter is part of a series that I am working on. please visit here for more information before proceeding to read

→c/w: fem reader, slow burn and boring but i need to write it this way for a build up, spoilers for chap 6, quite obvious that reader likes malleus... and malleus needs a proper therapist to sort out his feelings

→ chapter 1 (previous) / chapter 3 (next)

Tomorrow came in a blink of an eye, but Malleus never got the chance to fulfill his promise to hang out with you.

It was chaos everywhere. Someone had decided to blow a hole on Ramshackle's roof top, making it look more like a broken and abandoned house.

"Vil!Jamil!" You screamed out to your friends who were passed out cold. The robots seems to be unaffected by their state before carrying them and flying off through the broken roof. You wished to pursue those intruders, but your lack of magic and ability to fly says otherwise. "Are you all okay?!" Rook shouted, fussing over the duo who were unconscious while keeping a look out for the rest.

"Quick, let's bring them to the infirmary!" Epel's frantic voice managed to snap you out of your trance as you hurriedly rushed to help your fallen friends. You were too shocked to process what was going on, mindlessly compelling to Rook's instructions (seeing as to how he decided to take charge of the situation)

♡♡♡♡♡

"So, Idia and his family are responsible for all this? But why would they do that?"

The question looms in the heavy and tense atmosphere. None of them knew why their friends were captured, except for the fact that they might get experimented on.

Malleus's eyes slides towards your figure, noticing how awfully quiet you are. Ever since all dorm and vice dorm leaders were summoned for an emergency meeting, you had not once spoken a word, choosing to only fiddle with your fingers, an invisible sweat dripping down your forehead as the memories of previous events replay in your head.

You were scared and nervous.

A foreign feeling creeps up to Malleus's heart, caging it with an unbearable heat that threatens to destroy it at any moment. He denies the feeling, choosing to focus on meeting you later on. Perhaps, that will be the best timing to ask about your state.

♡♡♡♡♡

"Are you sure about this, prefect? I mean you don't have to go with me, ya know-"

"Yes im sure!" You cut off the boy, determined to show your decision to go after Rook to save your other friends. You were scared, but at the same time, you don't wish to just lie around in ramshackle and do nothing but worry about your missing friends. Besides, you don't really have anywhere to stay after the disaster that was bestowed upon your only "house".

"This is not the first time I have thrown myself in such a dangerous situation." You reassured Epel, who was looking at you with worried eyes. "Besides, what kind of friend would I be if I leave my own friends alone?"

"You are right, Y/N. Let's not waste any time now!" Epel hurriedly beckoned you to ride on the broom with him since he was the only one capable of using magic to the fly the both of you. You bite your lip in anxiousness, holding onto the broom for dear life as Epel chants a long string of words, before the broom lifts the both of you up into the sky, flying to the direction where Rook went.

In the back of your mind, you momentarily thought if Malleus had read the text message that you had sent earlier, to inform him that the outing tonight would be cancelled since you are heading towards the Land of Grief to save your friends.

♡♡♡♡♡

Unfortunately for you, Malleus had never received your text message. Why? It's obvious, he broke his phone again. He only learnt about the intention behind your disappearance when Crewel had summoned another meeting with the student leaders to update about the situation.

And now, he’s left standing in the aloof house alone, letting reality sink into him that you were gone somewhere without him. Ramshackle looks more abandoned and deserted now.

Malleus should be happy that Ramshackle had went back to the way it was before, but why does he feel so miserable? Why does it feel like the thorns of briar valley are scratching all over his body, especially his heart? It felt so uncomfortable to the point where he just wished that this feeling could be erased with magic.

"Malleus, here you are." His guardian appears beside him, floating up to see the boy who has an extremely unhappy appearance on his face. "Sebek was making a fuss about your disappearance, so I came to check up on you. How are you feeling?" Lilia asked, watching Malleus heaved up a sigh before confessing about his feelings.

"Why am I feeling this way? I thought that I would be happy when Ramshackle is back to the way it was. But now, it feels like the thorns are wrapped tightly around my heart, mocking me for my uselessness. I felt uneasy about Y/N's disappearance, and I can't stop thinking and worrying about her. It feels wrong for this place to be empty. It feels wrong without her presence."

Lilia stares at his ward with wide eyes, unable to believe that Malleus had just willingly talked about his feelings. He had watch him grow from young till now, know him like the back of his hand. But still, Malleus's confession managed to surprised the old fae.

"How do you feel about Y/N?"

"Im worried for her."

"Sorry, let me rephrase my question," Lilia cleared his throat, before staring at the young seriously. "What do you see Y/N as?"

There was an awkward pause, before Malleus manage to choke out a response. "She's a friend." Those words felt so wrong on his tongue, and yet it's somehow the only response he can manage to come up with.

Lilia raised his eyebrow, giving Malleus a 'are-you-serious' look, but decided not to pressure him further. "Mhm sure. Let's go back now shall we? I'll cook dinner for you." The mere mention of Lilia cooking had completely thrown off any worries that Malleus had. Instead, they were replaced with fear of Lilia's creative dishes.

"Ah...it's fine. I already ate."

"It's that so? Well, too bad then! Maybe another time."

The both of them went back to the dorm in silence, but the answer that Malleus had gave to Lilia still lurks in their mind. They both knew that you were definitely more than a friend.

♡♡♡♡♡

Vil's continuous high pitched crying has been tormenting your ears for awhile now. While you pity him for turning into an old man, you could not help but feel an incoming headache whenever his cries reach your ears. Maybe Malleus can solve this problem and reverse Vil back to his usual 18 year old self?

You had never felt so much relief when your feet finally landed on school grounds, quickly shuffling to position yourself slightly further away from Vil to give your ears a break. You looked around, seeing that some of your friends had gathered and was waiting for you and the others to come back.

"Prefect! Im glad that you are okay. Have you seen Jamil?"

"Right here, Kalim."

You laughed when Kalim tackled Jamil into a hug. Both of them landing on the ground with a soft thud as Kalim starts rambling off about all the things that have been happening. You start looking around the field, hoping to see that one person that you have been thinking about even when you are at the Land of Grief.

"You are back, Y/N." Speaking of the devil, malleus had teleported infront of you. His tall form towering over you, looking at you up and down to check for any injuries. "It seems like you are well."

"Yup! I had help from the other dorm and vice dorm leaders. They are in a worser state than me though.

"Mhmmm," Malleus hums, finally feeling the heavy feeling in his heart lifting up. Now that you are fine, he's delighted that the uneasiness he had been feeling for the past day is gone. He wanted to ask himself why, but decided to brush it off as it was nothing.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were going to the land of grief?"

"H-huh? I did text you on my phone though!" You dig into your pocket, fishing out an old phone before flashing your screen to Malleus, showing him the text that you had sent him.

"Oh, it seems like I did not received it cause I broke my phone again."

"Again? wow, you must be really strong." You snickered, enjoying the pouting expression that Malleus had. "By the way, your dorm is no longer able to function as it is." Malleus stated, making it your turn to pout now as you ponder about where you should stay now.

Please not savannahclaw again, that place is stinky-

"Do you want to come live in Diasomnia? We have a spare room to offer."

"Really?! I can stay in Diasomnia?" Your eyes sparkled in excitement. hands clasping together as you looked at him eagerly. "Yes."

"Yay! Thank you tsunotarou! Let me go pack my things now, if I have any left." You smiled sheepishly, before darting off to your old dorm to look for any undamaged items.

The corner of Malleus's lips lifts up into a smile as he watch your figure becoming smaller and smaller. Something about your smile and your child like behaviour makes him feel weird... again. This time, his heart tickles.

[solarwonux]

59.  “I’m still sore from last night.”

single dad!jungkook x f!reader

w.c: 2.3k

warnings: fluff, non-penetrative unprotected sex. Jungkook thinks too much lol.

note: hello, first and foremost, THANK YOU FOR 1K. I’m over the moon honestly, I found out while I was on my mini vacation and it just made it 10x better so thank you so much. Anyway, I hope you like this one, it was so much fun to write, let me know your thoughts. Send me a prompt or two if you’d like. hehe <3

sequel

MASTERLIST || PROMPTS

The single ray of light peeked through the slit of Jungkook’s dark curtains, making his eyelids flutter open in discomfort. He sat up on his elbows, looking over at your splayed-out body occupying the usual empty spot next to him. Arm lying lazily around his midriff and leg wrapped around his waist. In a poor attempt to hold him hostage. He could easily slip out without waking you up, but this was a rare sight for him. You in his bed, hair messily fanning out against his dark pillows, and his sheets hanging off your naked body. Your skin glowing under the peeking sun rays of the morning sun, painting tiny sunspots all over your body. 

It was a rare sight for him because you rarely stayed over, and he wanted to revel in the quiet and still moment as much as he could. As much as you allowed him to do so. Before you woke up panicking peeling your limbs away from his body in a frantic sleepy search for your clothes that occupied every inch of his one-bedroom loft.

He was outgrowing it in every sense of the word. Last week he had to replace the crib in the far with a twin-sized bed, leaving little room to comfortably move around it. It had been proven to him last night when you accidentally bumped your knee into the corner of his daughter’s bed while you helped him clean up his place, while she was away at her grandparents for the weekend. 

It was why you had shamelessly decided to stay over. It was why he was able to wake up next to you. Why he was contemplating on waking you up so the two of you could hunt for apartments together. Why he had been turning the same sentences over in his head, looking for the right way to ask you to move in with him. To marry him. Would asking the two questions side by side be too overwhelming, or will knocking two birds with one stone be the right thing to do?

He didn’t know, this was all new to him. Haneul’s mother didn’t want her, didn’t love her and left her to him before disappearing without a trace. You were the first person he called when he arrived at the hospital to pick her up. Having his daughter in his arms, a daughter he had no idea he had until that morning, was terrifying and in the midst of his breakdown, he dialed your number. You were his best friend back then, now you were his girlfriend and the only mother Haneul had ever and will ever know. He wanted everything to be official but he didn’t know how or if he should.

Frustrated, he lays down again, running his hand down his torso until it reaches your hand. He walks his fingers up your arm in a ghostlike matter, while humming quietly, contemplating the ever-present questions that he always found himself swallowing. It was never the right time, but the right time never seemed to come, so maybe he should just blurt it out and then hide away. 

“Good morning,” you croak, sleep still present in your voice. A smile creeps onto Jungkook’s face, his thoughts fleeting to hide in the back of his mind again. He turns to face you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close. 

“Good morning my beautiful girlfriend.” He hums leaving a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose before burying his head in your neck. You smelled like green tea and white sage; the scent of your body lotion and him. It made him feel calm. Though if he were to ever express that thought out loud you would just say that it was the work of your stress-free body lotion. But no, you smelled, felt like home to him and it made him feel calm. 

You twinkle your fingers down his bare back, the gnawing emptiness in the pit of your stomach returns. Your alone time with him was coming to an end and you hated it. “I have to get up, I have to go.” You whisper, planting a gentle kiss on the crown of his head. 

Jungkook makes a disappointed sound, tightening his hold around you. “No five more minutes.” He whines kissing down your neck and lifts his head. A smug smile painting his beautiful features. “I can convince you to stay.” He quirks a brow, rolling his hips into yours. 

“Babe.” You place a hand on his chest, your head hitting his pillow again, as the pleasure overtakes your body. “I-I can’t, I’m still sore from last night.” You breathe out as he grinds his half-hard cock against you. 

He hums, chest swelling up in disgusting testosterone-filled pride. He knows he rocked your world a few times last night. Still remembers how he had you screaming louder than usual underneath him, enough to have his neighbors banging furiously against his wall. “We don’t have to go all the way, we can just stay like this.” He whispers, kissing your temple, grinding his hips against yours experimentally. It was slow and careful. He didn’t want to work himself up to full mast without your verbal agreement. Jungkook always respected your boundaries and he knew your body better than anyone you had allowed to touch you in the past. So, if you were to tell him no as much as he wanted you not to he would stop without a complaint ever leaving his lips. 

You smile and push him down, straddling him. “Okay but relax, I could literally hear you thinking while I was still sleeping.” You roll your hips, your clit brushing against the tip of his fired-up cock.

He lets out a pleasure-filled sigh, resting his hands on your ass, “I got a lot to think about.” He winks before moving up his bed resting his back against the headboard of his bed, your chest now against his. “Keep going, I want to paint your pretty lips with my cum.” He mumbles kissing your cheek. 

“For a dad, you’re always horny. I thought having a kid would kill your sexual prowess.” You sigh running your wet pussy over his cock harder, your lips fluttering around him, ready to take him in fully. 

He laughs, bucking his hips against yours, a whimper falling out of your lips. “It did at first, remember?” He hisses when your clit brushes up against his angry head again. He wants to be inside you so badly, but he knows he’s already pushing it just with this, though, he can’t complain. When it comes to you, everything was euphoric. 

You nod, looking down at him with hooded lust-filled eyes, resting your palms against his shoulders to use him as leverage to go faster. “Y-Yeah, you couldn’t get it up for the longest time, now I swear, f-fuck, it doesn’t stay down.” You rest your forehead against his. 

Jungkook moves his hand between your bodies, his thumb on your clit, rubbing slow careful circles, making you jolt. “I can’t help it, you’re so sexy, everything you do is sexy.” 

“Mmm, don’t stop please.” You arch your back, your hard nipples brushing against his. The bars decorating them still catch you off guard. They had been an on the whim decision back in college during a particularly stressful finals week. You had held his hand throughout the entire piercing process and wiped away his tears as he made you swear not to tell anyone he cried in pain and came in his pants all at the same time. You did and have kept his secret ever since. Now using the ladder against him during sex.

He rubbed your clit fast, his cock trapped between the wet lips of your pussy, quiet pants falling out of chapped lips. The pleasure was building fast against the pit of your stomach, “I’m close baby, are you?” 

Jungkook hummed, grabbing hold of your hips and rolling them against him. The change of rhythm was much more intimate and arousing. There was no space between the two of you, your clit was brushing against the short course hairs against his mound, and it was driving you insane.

“Yes, baby, do you want me to pull away?” 

“No, no want to feel you close Kook.” You threw your head back, pulling on his hair, letting your desperate need take over your body. 

Jungkook moaned your name silently, moving your hips faster chasing both of your highs, “Gonna let me cum on you my sweet girl, gonna let me paint you with my cum. God, I wish I could fuck it into you after, but we can stop here, just let go please.” He bit down on your neck, making you arch your back. 

“Oh my-, I’m cumming Jungkook f-fuck.” You whimpered, letting your orgasm take over, moving your pussy harder against his cock, riding out your high. You looked so beautiful and fucked out, the image burning brightly inside the corner of his brain that kept all the dirty versions of you. Your swollen clit rubs over him one last time before he’s cumming. Hot sputters of his sticky white essence coating your cunt and his abdomen, your eyes wide as you watch him spill himself all over you, the immorality of it all, enough to get you going again if you could. 

“That was sexy.” Jungkook pants, making you roll your eyes. He leaves a delicate kiss against your collar bone before looking at you with soft doe pleading eyes. You never understood how he could have the dirtiest things spewing out of his mouth one second and the next he’s looking at you the same way Haneul does whenever she wants a chocolate bar before dinner. “Did I convince you to stay longer?” 

“Yes, but I might consider it more if you tell me what’s been bothering you since yesterday.” You tilt your head and stand up. Jungkook blushes when he truly assesses the mess the two of you had made, making his cock twitch at the sight. “Join me in the shower?” 

“Wait.” He wraps his fingers around your wrist and pulls you down on his lap again. “Not yet, wait a while please.” 

“Jungkook as much as I wanted to be covered in your cum, it’s a little gross to just stay here cuddling.” You pout, running your hands through his hair pushing his dark bangs back. 

“I know but,” he chews on his bottom lip, the questions from earlier return and he wonders if this is the right time. You sitting on his lap covered in his cum, or if he should wait until after the two of you have showered. This was truly driving him crazy and there was no way to hide from you because you knew him better than anyone else in this entire world.

“Babe, you're thinking again and loud. What’s wrong?” You run your index finger down the side of his, tracing the tiny minuscule freckles on his cheek connecting them. 

“This is so hard, I don’t know how to just ask you to marry me and move in with me. It’s been driving me up the wall for like two weeks now. And like I don’t even have the ring yet, because it’s still being made, but they told me it would take only two weeks and it’s been a month because they’re backed up but that’s okay because they're short on staff. But I wish I had everything with me because I want everything to be perfect, you deserve perfect always and fuck, I-I just want you here forever by my side. By Haneul’s side because you make us complete and god, I don’t know how to ask you.”

There was a brief silence before you’re bending over laughing against his chest. Jungkook is left there sitting dazed and confused holding you as you laughed against him. Did he say something funny?

“Jungkook, I think you just asked me?” You lift your head, placing a hand against your chest trying to calm your nervous laughter and the pounding over your heart. 

“Fuck,” he hits the palm of his hand with his forehead, his neck flushing red from embarrassment. “I didn’t want to ask you like that please, just forget about it.” He pleads sadly, tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. He wants the ground to swallow him whole. 

“I don’t want you to.” You say stubbornly wrapping your arms around his neck, “and I want to say yes I will move in and marry you, will you let me?” Your fingers play with the hair resting on the back of his neck making him shiver. 

He’s looking at you wide-eyed and in shock, “are you sure? We can forget about it and I can ask you when we’re not covered in cum and I have everything. I’ll even write a speech.” He says fast, his heart beating hard against his chest, threatening to fall out. The only other time he’s felt this way was when he held Haneul in his arms for the first time ever. 

You shake your head, pecking his lips softly, scrunching your nose, remembering that two of you still hadn’t brushed your teeth yet. “I don’t want a do-over, this was perfect, I mean I still want my ring so I can show it off, but this was perfect. It was us.”  

He lets out a sigh of relief, his shoulders falling forward, letting the tension leave his body. He was stressed out for no reason. “I love you so much,” 

“I love you, now can we shower?” 

“Yes, and then we can get breakfast and pick up Haneul together?” 

“Sounds like a dream come true.”

[amjustagirl]

Hogwarts AU (Haikyuu!)

feat. Tsukkishima Kei 

requested for by @animestheticz (hope you enjoy it bb!) 

Previously:

Miya Atsumu. Miya Osamu. Kita Shinsuke. Kuroo Tetsuro.

Masterlist link here

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff

Wordcount: 2k

Genre / Pairings: Fluff, Hogwarts AU, Tsukkishima / Reader

A/N: Any other characters you’d like to see? Send me an ask! 

(happy to do any characters other than Kenma / Hinata / Tendo - I don’t trust myself to do them justice!)

Oh and this is just shameless advertisement for my other fic - but I’m also writing a multi chapter fic based off Your Name / Kimi No Nawa featuring Akaashi Keiji (i.e. a bodyswap AU featuring our favourite Tokyo pretty boy). Check it out here!

——————————————————————

“P-please? Just this once?’ Yachi begs, fingers gripping your sleeve like a vice. 

You’re sorely tempted to refuse her ridiculous request, but you can’t bring yourself to. This is Yachi Hitoka, your best friend, though currently she’s a nervous wreck fretting over her first date with Yamaguchi Tadashi. The sweet, freckled Hufflepuff chaser has finally worked up the courage to act on his painfully obvious crush on Yachi - both veritable balls of sunshine, so sweet and anxious and caring that you can’t imagine a better match. 

So you don’t understand why on earth you’re being asked to tag along on a double date with one Tsukkishima Kei. 

It’s not that you dislike the guy – far from it. You’ve had a crush on him yourself ever since Yachi started hanging around Yamaguchi in your third year, sucking you and Tsukkishima have been sucked into their orbit, reluctant moons revolving around twin suns. But you’ve tucked it away since Tsukkishima doesn’t seem to have an interest in anyone at all – in fact, half the time his snarky replies and cold silences make you think he barely tolerates Yamaguchi as a friend, let alone yourself. 

Still, refusing Yachi is tantamount to kicking an injured puppy, so you swallow your reservations and agree. 

‘Thank you!’ Yachi cheers. ‘We’ll have fun, I promise!’ 

-----------------------------------------

It’s summer, and your blouse is sticking to your back as you dash through Diagon Alley. Tsukkishima and Yamaguchi are already waiting in front of Flourish & Botts, the former barely even granting you a nod, though he does give you the courtesy of removing his headphones, while Yamaguchi bounces on the balls of his feet to greet you cheerfully. 

‘Woah there Yamaguchi – keep your enthusiasm for your date’, you joke, and he grins back at you.  And he does – stuttering and blushing as Yachi arrives. Yachi herself is no better – you swear you can hear her teeth chatter as she greets all of you, though she beams when Yamaguchi presents her with a small posy of flowers with clammy hands. 

‘They’re cute’, you remark to Tsukkishima as you walk beside him on the way to the first stop -  Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. 

‘Mm’, he responds, his face blank. 

You know he doesn’t suffer fools – worse still, talkative ones, so you fall silent until you reach the ice cream store. To your surprise, he pulls the chair out for you, and accepts your offer to share a cup of ice cream with you, a tilt to his lips when you automatically order a strawberry shortcake sundae – it’s his favourite after all. 

Yachi and Yamaguchi seem to have gotten over their initial shyness, chatting up a storm in their own little world. You’re excluded, as you expected, but you’re glad for their sakes. 

‘Excited about the last year of school?’ 

You glance up from your melting sundae, surprised that Tsukkishima is the first to break and initiate a conversation. From your interactions with him, he’s deliberate and methodical in his thoughts and words, so you take a few beats to formulate a response. 

‘Yes and no, really’, you answer honestly. 

He raises a thin blonde eyebrow, wordlessly beckoning you to elaborate. 

‘I’m excited for our classes, the syllabus seems really interesting this year’, you say, wincing at how desperately nerdy you sound – but you’re a hopeless Ravenclaw, and advanced Arithmancy and Astronomy excites you. ‘But it’s scary isn’t it – knowing that it’s our last year, and having to make all those important decisions that are going to affect us, years down the road?’ 

He hums thoughtfully. ‘I get that’, he responds, hands steepled under his chin. ‘I’m deciding between doing further studies in magical history and going pro – just for a few more years. But I know no matter what decision I end up making, I’ll probably end up second guessing myself’. 

‘Why can’t you do both?’ you find yourself saying before you can stop yourself. His brow furrows a notch. ‘You’re great at both, and I can’t see why you can’t as long as you put your mind to it’. 

You cringe at your cheesiness, expecting him to snark at you for your Hufflepuff-like optimism the way he does with Yamaguchi, but you’re surprised once again when he mutters a quiet ‘thanks’, a flush high in his cheeks, and then asks -  ‘And what about you?’ 

You wonder if he’s merely being polite, but his tone is serious, and his eyes are intently focused on you, so you tell him about your plans of taking on further studies in Arithmancy, perhaps even enroll in a Muggle university to study Mathematics for a semester or two, before working in Gringotts. The goblins may be archaic in their beliefs about the magical world, but their application of mathematics is extremely advanced. 

‘It suits you’, he comments. You want to ask him what he means by that, but Yachi pipes up from across the table.  

‘If you’re done with your ice cream, do you guys want to check out the magical menagerie? Yamaguchi’s going to get a cat!’ 

Before you can agree, Tsukkishima tells Yachi and Yamaguchi to go on ahead, drolly reminding them that they’re on a date, and they should go spend some quality time together. So they head off with wide smiles, shoulders bumping. They’re so sweet together it almost makes your teeth ache. Well, at least you’ve been dismissed as their reluctant chaperone, and you’re about to wish Tsukkishima a polite farewell when he taps your shoulder. 

‘Let’s go check out Flourish & Botts. I’m sure you have books you want to check out’. 

You blink – because you do, but you don’t expect Tsukkishima to accompany you, let alone be the one seeking out your company. He doesn’t even wait for your assent before he sets off, and you have to jog to keep up with the pace his long legs set. Thankfully, he notices you’re still lagging behind and slows down, though he teases dryly – ‘you know, at the rate you’re walking, I’m not sure we’ll get there before sundown’. 

You pointedly look up at the sun, still high in the sky, before levelling an unimpressed glare at him. He only smirks in response – and you’re so flustered by how attractive his expression is that you nearly trip over the threshold to Flourish & Botts. He catches you with a steady hand to your elbow – and now your heart is fluttering – is this how Yachi is like all the time? If so, you should really cut her some slack – the thoughts crowding your mind so distracting that you hardly hear Tsukkishima call your name in concern until he shakes your shoulder gently. 

‘Are you alright?’ Tsukkishima repeats, with a frown. 

‘Y-yes’, you reply, cursing your traitorous heart again. He doesn’t look like he believes you, insistently pushing you towards an empty couch. 

He clicks his tongue. ‘Don’t move’ he orders, before he disappears, probably to get the books he has his eyes on.  

You sink into the cushions, resisting the urge to bury your face in your hands in embarrassment. An hour spent in his presence and you’ve already turned back into a lovesick fool. You’ve told yourself countless times to just get over your silly crush on him already because it’s not going to do you any good. 

Yamaguchi’s complained to you and Yachi countless times about girls asking him if Tsukkishima is single, but you don’t see him taking an interest in anyone at all – spending all his time instead in the library and on the Quidditch pitch. 

He’s the stone faced beater from Ravenclaw. People wonder sometimes if ice flows in his veins – but they don’t see the determined set of his jaw when he’s ploughing through homework and assignments because he knows he’s going to have to spend the whole day in training the next day, the glint of satisfaction in his eyes whenever he wins a match or scores a good grade, the patience he expends tutoring Yamaguchi (along with Hinata and Kageyama) in Ancient Runes – 

Oh Merlin. You’re a hopeless case. 

 You jump when he returns and drops into a seat beside you. 

‘Oi, what’s wrong with you’, he mutters a tad scornfully, though he drops the book you were eyeing onto your lap. 

‘N-nothing. T-thanks!’ you answer, internally cursing yourself for even picking up Yachi’s speech patterns. 

Get it together. You’re not a fool. 

He hums, browsing his own book. 

It’s pleasant spending an afternoon in a nook reading books. It’s not so pleasant when your heart palpitates every single time his knee grazes yours - and if you shift just a tiny bit to the left you’re pressing against his side and - oh 

‘Are you sure you’re ok?’ he asks, frowning again, when he notices you’ve been reading the same page for the past fifteen minutes. 

‘F-fine’, you stammer, warmth flooding your cheeks when he leans his face dangerously close to yours, bringing his palm to brush against your forehead. 

‘Your temperature’s fine’, he mutters, but he doesn’t pull away – and oh gosh, you’re so close you can count every single lash on his eyes, your traitorous heart causing you to drown in the quiet concern in his eyes – and oh - 

You’re not quite sure who makes the first move because your eyes flutter close, your nose bumps against his and you feel his chapped lips against yours for a split second before he pulls away. 

You open your eyes. 

Did that truly happen? 

Judging from the blank expression on his face, the past few seconds were probably just a fever dream. But there are signs that cool, quiet Tsukkishima isn’t his usual self - a flush creeping up the back of his neck, his fingers gripping the pages of the book so tightly it starts to crinkle.  

‘What was that?’ you blurt out, confused. 

‘What was what?’ Though his voice remains calm and collected, his flush has traveled all the way to the very tips of his ears. 

‘Nothing’, you answer, dropping your eyes back to the open book on your lap, your mind in a whirl. Surely you didn’t imagine that, right? Did you just - did he just - wait, you’re confused again, what’s going on? 

Your thoughts are interrupted by elegant, long fingers slotting between your own. ‘Silly’ he mutters, but there’s a fond twist to his lips and a softness in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. 

‘I’m pretty sure I’m not the only silly one here’, you respond, in a sudden swell of confidence, though your pulse is sending tremors down your spine, your breath catching in your throat. ‘I’m pretty sure you’re the silly one too’. You curl your fingers over his and lean into his side. 

He hums diffidently. ‘I guess it might seem that way’. 

You both share a shy smile. 

-----------------------------------------

Yachi is smug when you confess to her later that Tsukkishima - no - Kei asked you out as he walked you home that evening. 

‘I told you that we’d have fun!’, she says, grinning cheek to cheek. Then she starts rambling on and on about future double dates with her and Yamaguchi in Madame Puddifoots, where you can share couple sundaes and steaming mugs of hot chocolate - wouldn’t that be wonderful? 

You resist the urge to tell her that Kei has sworn off any future double dates - let alone at the white and pink lace bedazzled monstrosity of a cafe, and his suggestion of a quiet afternoon spent at his favourite bookshop cafe sounds far more inviting to you. 

You’ll let Yamaguchi break the news to her later, on a more appropriate date.  

Instead you just smile to yourself, thinking of the quiet affection in his voice as he wished you farewell, and the suppressed delight in his eyes when you called his name just as he was about to turn away and surprised him by pulling him down to you and pressing your lips to his cheek. 

Yachi’s right. You did have fun after all. 

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 288 “A Pleasant Man”

So from a Watsonain perspective I’ve to praise Wilk as it turned out everything went...

yeah, just as he planned it... though Doylistically speaking let me be amazed by how Noda made this wonderful and intricate plot... but let’s start with order.

The story starts with a very useful timeline concerning the events that involved the gold.

There are little things I appreciate more than timelines so I’m extremely grateful to Noda for it.

We move back to the Russian consulate in 1902.

Irenka, one of the Ainu working with Wilk, correctly guesses the government which rules Hokkaido wouldn’t just give them the land, should they show up with the land deed.

Wilk suggests to ask Enomoto Takeaki for help at which the others correctly imply it would be a little hard for them to meet him.

As if this wasn’t difficult enough, Kimuspu informs them the Japanese government is AFTER THE LAND DEED and would steal it before they were to reach Enomoto, which is why they were forced to hide it there.

But then he suggests a Nispa might be able to help to get in touch with Enomoto.

We go back to 1869 and to a much younger Kimuspu, one that looks more like Cikapasi due to how the signs on his face are now more marked.

He explains they used to go to Goryokaku as they negotiated with Enomoto over buying the land, without even knowing the battle of Hakodate would escalate.

Early at the beginning of the story (chap 30) Hijikata lamented how their battle was hampered by the struggle to get funds...

...which seems to hint whatever agreement Enomoto managed to reach with the Ainu, was reached too late.

Anyway, while the others go take part to the negotiation Kimuspu is left behind to take care to give water to the horses and, as he does so he meets Hijikata… who basically behaves like a Sugimoto with a slightly different face...

Hijikata is curious of Kimuspu’s tattoo, he’ll help Kimuspu, is cheerful and modest, admitting all he’s good with are battles, horses and women. Okay, Sugimoto is popular with women but can’t understand them at all while Hijikata was supposedly better at this but whatever, Hijikata really feels like him to me… though I doubt they plan to have them be related.

Anyway Kimuspu doesn’t let him know why they’re there but clearly likes him and finds him a ‘Sawayakana otoko’ (爽やかな男 “pleasant/refreshing/invigorating/clear man”). Later he finds out he’s Hijikata, an Ezo republic commander.

Enomoto keeps the land deed as a secret. I wonder if, should he had won the war, he too would have tried getting it back.

Anyway the Ainu prepare the gold, though they don’t really trust Enomoto.

They’re being too slow though.

The government forces begin their all-out attack.

We’re at June 20 (lunar calendar May 11), 1869, and Hijikata, instead than being killed as history wants, is just nearly killed near the Ippongi Kanmon but manages to drag himself back despite the wounds...

...and is helped by Kimuspu, despite his comrades being against it. In order to give them a reason to care about Hijikata, Kimuspu reminds them he’s Enomoto’s comrades but it’s clear he’s not helping him just for that.

Kimuspu should have been a nice person, it fits he’s Cikapasi’s grandfather.

Anyway he brings Hijikata in one of the house left empty when its owners evacuated, so as not to let Hijikata be found by soldiers.

When Hijikata awakes, he’s reached by the news the Kaitenmaru was also destroyed by fire (always on June 20) and thinks they should protect the fortress Benten Daiba as Goryokaku  will surely fall due to the bombing of the ships, but Kimuspu tells him the day before, (June 24th) while he was unconscious, the fortress surrendered. This means we’re at the 25th. Goryokaku will surrender the 27th.

At this Hijikata likely understands they’ve no more hope to fight and asks Kimuspu to bring him to mount Hakodate, apparently to a statue of Kannon. Hijikata, dressed up as an Ainu to disguise himself, doesn’t manage to explain why he wanted to go there as the bombing on Goryokaku resumes and then they’re found by soldiers, who recognize Hijikata.

Kimuspu, gets in between them and Hijikata. He explains his action saying he was desperate because he figured the Ainu would lose the land of the republic of Ezo. Although he manages to push the rifle away from Hijikata, the soldier fires anyway and kills one of the Ain that were with Kimuspu.

At this Hijikata tells him to stop or they all would be killed and let the guards take him away. Kimuspu who had been pushed on the ground, stares at the dead Ainu in shock but he’s evidently released later on as it’s only Hijikata who’s carried away, apologizing to them and promising he won’t forget the debt he owns to them.

Kimuspu explains how, out of guilt for letting the soldiers take Hijikata, he couldn’t tell Enomoto how the latter survived. However, when he tries to find information on Hijikata’s fate no one wants to say he was caught or executed and, several years later he begins hearing rumors about Hijikata having been looked in a prison, an ex-warden even confirming this. So Kimuspu is sure Hijikata is alive.

Ratci adds in he also hears rumors about Hijikata being alive and helping to build the convict road.

Anyway they work up in their mind that Hijikata could get their message to Enomoto. How since he’s a prisoner those survival they’re basically hiding? Well, Oskeporo suggests they could pretend to be wardens and break him out. It’s worth to mention by then Hijikata was already in Abashiri so making him escape isn’t as easy as they make it out… but, on the other side, I do wonder if this was all part of Wilk’s plan. I mean, he and the other Ainu were hiding near to where there were those ‘prison lodges’ in which Inudou kept laborers confined… and, when the other Ainu die Wilk rushes there and have himself being arrested, asking to give Inudou the message he killed 7 Ainu and knows the location to the Ainu hidden gold.

I mean, at a first glance it seemed he did it merely to escape from Tsurumi… but maybe his goal was reaching Abashiri and getting into contact with Hijikata in the first place so as to use the whole incident with the Ainut o carry on his plan.

We see him repeating Hijikata’s name with a thoughtful expression after all…

...and then Kimuspu claims he knows a good spot to hide the gold, the good spot being the well. As they place the gold inside the well, one of them guarding the group in the distance, Kimuspu explains the last time they met Enomoto he saw the well being covered with dirt, so the Meiji government might not have noticed it existed. As a result the Ainu hid the gold there and starts planning an uprising among the Ainu.

So yes, they wanted to fight with weapons the Japanese government, not just use the land deed to have the land pacifically.

Wilk also thinks if Hijikata hadn’t forgotten his debt, he should repay the Ainu of the future. Honestly I think he should repay only Kimuspu… as Kimuspu’s Ainu friends back then helped him solely because he was Enomoto’s friend and they were making business with him but whatever, we know how Wilk is, for him the Ainu’s cause is the only one that matter… though from how he speaks he seems to link ‘Ainu of the future’ to Asirpa, whose name means woman of the future. So he basically is saying Hijikata should help his daughter.

The flashback ends here and the visual is pretty good because it moves from Wilk looking down in the well to Asirpa looking up from the well, as if to give the illusion she and Wilk could see each other… but the one looking down in the well this time is Hijikata, who likely means to repay his debt anyway.

And so that’s the story of how Hijikata and Wilk connected the whole horse kanji with a well whose existence only the two of them knew.

I’ll be honest, on one side I’m not overly fond of all this background exposition as it’s just that, exposition with little personal drama (I mean, Kimuspu was clearly grief stricken when the soldiers try to arrest Hijikata and, in effort to stop them, he inadvertently cause one of his friends to get killed… but this isn’t really explored… at most it’s exploited by Wilk) but, on the other side, I’m amazed by how Noda came up with such an intricate plot.

I mean, the meeting between Nopperabou and Hijikata seemed casual, they were merely two prisoners in the same prison… and Wilk trusting Hijikata to take care of Asirpa and carrying on all that plan seemed a risky bet based on circumstances but now it turns out Hijikata was ALWAYS part of the plan and the code was made keeping not only Asirpa but he too into consideration because Wilk clearly assumed Asirpa wouldn’t accomplish anything with the land deed without Hijikata’s support and the hideout of the gold is basically a jab at Hijikata’s moral sense so as to remind him Ainu (well, ONE Ainu) helped him so he should help them as well.

So while a side of me is ‘well, I don’t really care about this little sidestory per se as it’s just exposition and not emotionally engaging…’ the other side is ‘oh my this man actually planned all those plot details so damn carefully I’m amazed! I love him! This is just great writing!’

Oh well, I hope everyone else is enjoying how the story is revealing itself as much as I’m doing because, really, I’m having lot of fun! I love to see such a well thought plot! This is such a masterful work!

Anyway, see you all to the next chapter!

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Reid My Lips - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - on the twelth and FINAL day of shipmas fortheloveofcriminalminds gave to me…Spencer x Reader Fluff! Hope you guys enjoyed them, I had a lot of fun writing these! Find my Shipmas masterlist here. Find my full masterlist here.

My taglists are open for Spencer x Reader and all works so let me know if you want to be added. Requests are also open.

Requested: Yes l No l Kind of ?

Idea came from @andiebeaword as I was struggling to come up with something that wasn't either angsty or smutty! - "What about one where they're dating, but haven't kissed yet, and every time reader tries, for some bizarre reason, Spencer keeps dodging them. reader thinks he's trying a subtle way to say he doesn't want to kiss when in reality, he just doesn't want reader to think he's a bad kisser" - Set circa s15, some spoilers for the last 2 episodes.

CW: none that I can think of! Just lusting after Spencer's lips. Some talks of Spencer's insecurites and lack of experience.

Plot: In which all the reader wants in the world is to feel Spencer's lips on hers.

WC: 2.4K

—————————————————————

Spencer Reid’s lips were the kind they would have written poetry about.

They were plump, sinfully so, the first time you’d met him several years ago when you joined the team it was the first thing you’d noticed about him. How it didn’t seem fair for him have had lips such as these bestowed upon him. He had the most kissable lips you’d ever seen in your life.

If you were a writer and not a profiler, you may well have tried to write a poem about them. But alas, a wordsmith you were not. So you had to make do with just staring at them every available opportunity you got.

When he’d finally plucked up the courage to ask you on a date after six years of working together you were thrilled to say the least. Finally, after all that time imaging what those lips would feel like, you might actually get to see for yourself.

For your first date Spencer took for you dinner at a fancy restaurant. Despite the fact you had known each other so long, the date was awkward.

Usually, you never struggled to find things to talk to Spencer about. Most of the time while the rest of the team were sleeping on the jet the two of you stayed up chatting aimlessly between you.

But somehow when the word date was used, it made everything uncomfortable between the two of you.

The night started as a long, drawn out silence but thankfully you both eased into it and by the time your main courses came you were able to chat a little more freely.

You’d had dinner together countless times over the years. But that was just as friends. Not as two people who were clearly attracted to one another even though deep down that’s what you’d always been.

Spencer walked you home after dinner. It was a mild night and you didn’t live too far from the restaurant so you thought the walk would be nice.

The first few blocks you fell back into that uncomfortable silence but thankfully you found your voices again.

Despite everything, you’d had a great time and you’d hoped Spencer had too.

As you stood awkwardly on the sidewalk outside your apartment you were desperate for him to kiss you. He wasn’t quite so shy and dorky as he had been when you first met so you’d thought he might make the first move.

He did not.

“Goodnight Y/N. I’ll see you Monday.” He offered you one of his shy waves.

No, this would not do. You’d been dreaming about those lips too long. It was time to do something about it.

You moved in close, your eyes closing as you neared his lips.

But what met your lips wasn’t his own. You felt prickly skin and your eyes shot open to see her had turned his head and your lips had landed on his stubble grazed face.

“Uhm…” you stepped back feeling incredibly uncomfortable. “Goodnight then I guess.”

You chalked it up to shyness. You guessed thirty plus years of insecurities couldn’t be washed away in a three month prison stint.

***

The next time an opportunity presented itself to steal a kiss from Spencer was a few weeks later.

You were out of town on a case and he’d invited you to his room to watch Doctor Who. You’d thought or maybe hoped it was just an excuse to get you alone in his room. You were surprised to say the least when he actually wanted to watch Doctor Who.

You sat side by side on his bed watching the small hotel TV. You dared to shuffle your hand closer until your fingers brushed and eventually you’d taken the plunge and entwined your fingers.

He didn’t seem to mind, he just gave your hand a firm squeeze as he held it.

About half way through the episode you decided to go for the kiss. You were desperate to feel those lips on yours and you hoped whatever awkwardness he felt on your date had since washed away.

You turned to face him, momentarily breathless at how beautiful he was.

“Spence,” you whispered prompting him to turn and face you.

He had a dopey half smile on those lips as he looked at you. You moved quickly, closing the space ready to feel those lips.

But once again you were met with his stubbly cheek.

You tried to tell yourself he was shy. That’s all it was. It’s not that he didn’t want to kiss you. It couldn’t be, right?

***

You’d started to think maybe Spencer had changed his mind about the two of you dating. It had been several weeks since your first date and although you’d been busy with back to back cases there had been time if he’d really wanted to take you out again.

It was nearly a month after your first date he finally asked you on a second. You’d jumped at the opportunity.

Spencer took you to the Smithsonian, you’d walked around hand in hand with Spencer telling you all kinds of facts and statistics the institution didn’t share.

You hung off his every word, mesmerised by the way his lips moved as he talked and wanting to feel them on yours with a white hot passion.

He took you for coffee after and you fell into comfortable conversation. But you couldn’t keep your eyes off those goddamn lips of his.

As you stepped out of the coffee shop hand in hand you made a quick move to place a chaste kiss on his lips as he was in the middle of telling you a story about his mom. You thought if you were fast enough he wouldn’t even see it coming and you could just get this awkward air out of the way.

You leant in fast, and as your lips were about to collide Spencer side stepped, turning to face the window of the coffee shop.

You stumbled, correcting yourself before you fell face first on the sidewalk.

“I didn’t know they had donuts! Now I want a donut.” He chuckled and suddenly he was heading back inside.

“Goddamnit Spencer.” You groaned under your breath.

By now you were starting to think he just didn’t like you. Why else would he keep dodging your attempts at kissing him?

You felt downtrodden. You felt insecure. Why on Earth had he asked you out if he didn’t want to kiss you?

***

Six dates in and all you’d done still was hold hands. You really didn’t get him. He kept asking you out but never seemed interested in doing anything other than hand holding.

You liked Spencer, a lot, but you were not willing to be in a relationship where there was no kind of intimacy.

But that was all pushed to the back of your mind when you and JJ found Spencer passed out in his apartment.

He’d been involved in an explosion thanks to the psychopath Everett Lynch. He was late for work the following day which was really unlike Spencer so you and JJ went to check on him. That’s when you’d found him.

While the rest of the team worked on finding Lynch, you stayed vigil at his bedside.

When he’d finally woken up tears streamed down your face and you’d be up like a shot.

“Oh my god Spence,” you sobbed. “I thought I was going to lose you.” You leant in to kiss his chapped lips.

He rolled his head to the side on the pillow, once again your lips meeting stubbly skin.

“I’m really thirsty.” He croaked, seemingly ignoring your actions.

You swallowed your pride with a sigh.

“I’ll get you some water Spence.” And with your tail between your legs you left the room in search of hydration.

***

After that you’d decided no more. You were fed up feeling a fool every time you tried to make a move on him only to be shot down.

So you decided you wouldn’t bother anymore.

Since he left hospital the two of you still hung out but it was less frequent as usual and the word date was never used again.

One night, it came to a head.

You were in Spencer’s apartment watching some foreign film which you were struggling to comprehend despite the subtitles.

Your mind was whirring, lost down a rabbit hole of thoughts of you and Spencer. You were so preoccupied in your own head you didn’t even notice when Spencer scooted closer to you or put his arm around your shoulders.

“Y/N?” He whispered your name, snapping you out of the abyss.

“Hmm?” You turned to face him.

His tongue glided over his bottom lip and his eyes were trained on your lips.

The next few seconds happened in slow motion. Spencer started edging closer to you, his eyes fluttering closed and his lips pursed.

And you turned your head to face the TV, allowing his lips to hit your cheek the way yours had to him so many times.

He made a strange noise that sounded halfway between a sigh and a groan. You tried to pretend you were focused on the TV. You felt his eyes on the side of your face and you tried to ignore it.

After a few minutes Spencer paused the film, the room falling silent. You swallowed a lump in your throat and slowly turned to face him.

“Why’d you stop the film?” you hoped your voice didn’t sound as shaky as you thought it did.

“I think we need to talk.” Spencer chewed his lip. “I think I need to explain why I’ve been so...weird.”

“Spencer, trust me when I say you being weird is not an unusual thing.” you tried to lighten the mood.

“Weirder than usual then.” he was fidgeting in his seat, wringing his hands together in his lap.

“I hadn’t noticed.” you lied.

“Yes you have.” he told you.

“Look Spence,” you sighed. “If you don’t want to kiss me I get it. But why would you ask me out if that’s not what you wanted?” the words spilled out of your mouth.

He nodded his understanding at your words, running one hand through his messy locks.

“I do want to kiss you Y/N.” his cheeks stained red with embarrassment. “I’ve always wanted to kiss you, since the first time I met you. Jeez, kissing is just the tip of the iceberg of things I want to do with you.” his blush deepened.

Your chest tightened at his words, a twinge passing between your legs.

“You uhm...you have a funny way of showing it.” your voice was breathy. You didn’t mean it to be.

“I know.” he nodded, gnawing his bottom lip. “I freaked myself out. I got in my head and I panicked and I didn’t know how to deal with that. So I dealt with it really, really badly and I’m sorry.”

“What were you freaking out about Spence?”

He sighed heavily, the blush still straining his cheeks.

“It took me six years to finally work up the courage to ask you out.” he laughed shyly. “But when I finally did, I was terrified I wouldn’t be good enough.”

Your face dropped, sadness in your eyes.

“Spencer,” you reached for him and took hold of his hand. It was sweating and shaking.

He shook his head sadly, telling you not to try and convince him otherwise.

“Y/N, I am not...not so great with women in case you’d never picked up on that.” he chuckled again, but again it was a shy sound. “I don’t ha-have...so much ex-experience.” he swallowed hard. “There have only been...a few...women. Not enough to make me an...ex-expert in any sense.” he swallowed again. “I just wanted to be...good...for you.”

“Oh Spencer,” you felt tears in your eyes. You had no idea he’d been going through this mental turmoil. “Spencer I don’t care. I’ve wanted you for six years. Trust me, there is no way in hell you will not be good enough. I am crazy about you Spence, and all I want in the whole right now is to kiss you. I have waited too long to know what those lips would-”

He cut you off when his lips suddenly crashed against yours.

You let out a small whimper as those plump lips of his finally kissed you. They felt better than your wildest imagination.

The whimper allowed Spencer to slide his tongue in your mouth. He held your face in his large hands, exploring your mouth with fervor.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you.

It was without a doubt the single most magical experience of your life. Nothing could have prepared you for how good his kiss would be.

It sent goosebumps flaring across your skin, making your chest tighten with lust.

It made you wet between your legs.

Maybe you should take a writing class because these lips, this kiss, definitely deserved poems written about them.

Your whole body felt as though it were on fire, every nerve ending in your body tingling with desire.

When the kiss ended you both gasped for air, trying to satiate your now empty lungs.

Spencer’s cheeks stained red again as he waited for your reaction shyly.

“I hope that was o-ok.” He stuttered a little.

You couldn’t help the large smile that broke out across your face.

“Spencer Reid, that was more than ok. It was perfect.”

His blush deepened and he looked away from you briefly before finding your eyes once more.

“Good.” He swallowed. “Because there’s a lot more I want to do with you Y/N.”

His words made you shudder.

“Now?” You swallowed, feeling oddly nervous.

“Right now.” He nodded before taking your face in his hands and kissing you again.

He was going to show exactly what his lips could do. And those poems practically wrote themselves between the sheets.

—————————————————————

Taglist -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl

@measure-in-pain

@ptrs-prkrs

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

BABE. WHAT IF GERALT DRINKS A LOVE POTION!?! WHAT IF HE?? CoNfEsSeS!?!?

This is why I come crawling into your messages begging for prompts. You get me, boo. 

tw: love potion, Yen interfering but in a nice way

---

Yennefer had grown bored of watching the bard and Witcher dance around each other like courting swans. It had been years and they still hadn’t figured things out between them. It had probably been more than years; more like decades. The bard, something not-quite-human but not inhuman enough to be suspicious or a problem, was too frightened of losing Geralt a second time to say anything to him about his clear and obvious feelings. 

The Witcher, too self-loathing and repressed to express anything other than frustration or exhaustion, didn’t know how to say anything for fear of driving his only friend away for good. She’d been watching the two idiots circle each other in an endless loop of yearning for far too long and the sorceress was finally ready to give them a little push in the right direction. 

“Jaskier,” she drawled, approaching the bard after he’d concluded a public performance. “It’s been awhile since we’ve traded blows. How are you and that Witcher doing?”

“I am still the finest voice on the Continent and Geralt is the grumpiest Wolf Witcher to ever grace the halls of Kaer Morhen,” he winked. “How have you been, dear?”

“I remain the most ravishing woman alive, fortunately.”

“Of course,” he bowed in mock politeness. Their banter had gotten less fiery and more friendly after she and Geralt had come to their understanding about Ciri’s education. Split custody of an affectionate, exuberant magical child worked wonders for strained relationships, apparently. “What can I do for you on this fine occasion, Lady Yen?”

“Oh hush,” she came alongside him and elbowed him lightly in the ribs. He bumped his shoulder back against hers, falling into camaraderie as if they’d never parted. “I actually have something for Geralt this time, but figured you’d be easier to get a hold of. I was correct in that assumption, as per usual. I thought he might be missing his White Gull while out on the Path and I know how he stresses himself nearly to death, so I brewed up something fun for him to try.”

“He’ll be overjoyed to have an equal substitute to his Witcher liquor.”

She pressed a small vial of swirling gold liquid into Jaskier’s palm. There was a label hanging from the tag containing a blocky #9. The sorceress smiled warmly and shook out her heavy skirts, adjusting them to her liking before opening a swirling purple portal. “I have some things to take care of in the next county over, so goodbye for now, darling.”

“Good day, gorgeous.”

And just as soon as she’d appeared, Yennefer was gone.

---

“Geralt! Here, I’d nearly forgotten. Yennefer said this would work like White Gull next time you want to get pissed after a job,” the bard said, passing along the little golden vial. The Witcher pulled the cork, sniffed at it, shrugged, and put it away in his pack. 

“Remind me to thank her next time we cross paths.”

“Already thanked her for you,” Jaskier winked. “No worries.”

“You terrify me, bard.”

“You love me, Witcher.”

“Hmm.”

---

“Geralt, what’s wrong?”

“That wasn’t… that wasn’t White Gull at all, Jaskier.”

“What was it, then!? Are you going to be okay!?”

“It wasn’t poison. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, so what was it, exactly?”

“It was a-” Geralt clapped a hand over his mouth and shook his head furiously. He took a few deep breaths before releasing a muffled, “I can’t talk.”

“What do you mean you can’t talk? You barely talk as it is! Do I need to worry about you or not? Should I send for a healer or no? Was I duped by a very clever, portal-making doppler or was that really Yennefer?”

Geralt glared but kept his hands over his mouth. Jaskier could see from his seat beside the Witcher that he was trembling in place. His shoulders were set in a tight line and his legs were bouncing in place. He was putting a great amount of effort into staying as still as possible and even with his great Witcher willpower was failing him. Slowly, carefully, Jaskier reached out one of his hands but Geralt shook his head and pulled himself further away. 

“Geralt please tell me what’s wrong! I’m scared!” Tears started to well up in his eyes and his hands fluttered uselessly, desperate to touch but banned from doing so. Geralt hated seeing the fear mounting in Jaskier’s eyes, turning down the corners of his gorgeous mouth. “Geralt, tell me something! Anything, please.”

“Love potion,” the Witcher finally managed to grind out. 

“Oh. Do you need me to leave so you can, you know, deal with it?”

Geralt growled and turned away, hands moving from his mouth to grip at the tops of his knees. His fingers dug into the material of his leather trousers and he grit his teeth. “No. Not that kind.”

Jaskier stood anyway, legs wobbling, and took a slow step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know, she said-”

“She knew what she was doing,” Geralt snarled, standing also. He took a measured step in the bard’s direction and Jaskier’s hands rose again; he wasn’t sure if it was an attempt to ward Geralt off or to welcome him closer. “She knew she was meddling.”

“Meddling!? Geralt wha- what’s going on?”

The Witcher picked his way easily over the forest floor, closing the minimal distance between them. One of his hands reached to grip at Jaskier’s waist and the other cupped the bard’s jaw, holding him still and tilting his head back so they were making firm eye contact. “She’s tired of watching us stay quiet, Jaskier.”

Jaskier, for his part, was trying desperately to summon words enough to answer, but Geralt’s calloused thumb was brushing back and forth against the skin of his cheek and it was incredibly distracting. “I- uh, I don’t know wha-”

The Witcher pulled him closer. There was no pressure, no point of contact that Jaskier couldn’t escape if he wanted to; he just really didn’t want to move. This gorgeous dream was too good to be true, but he was very much enjoying it. 

“Bard,” that low, hungry growl made Jaskier weak in the knees. “Do you love me, too, or do your racing heart and fluttering eyelashes deceive me?” 

“I do,” Jaskier breathed, finally relaxing into his darling Geralt’s comforting embrace. “I love you so incredibly much. With every fiber of my being.”

“May I kiss you?”

“Yes. Gods, yes.”

The thumb on his cheek never stopped moving. That soft caress was the only thing holding Jaskier to the surface of the earth, it felt like. If Geralt let go of him then he would certainly float away into space and never return. The Witcher’s lips, chapped and warm and slightly parted, lit against his as lightly as any feather falling upon the surface of a calm lake. It was a chaste, anxious brush of skin-against-skin and Jaskier whined when Geralt pulled away too quickly for his liking. 

The sharp, sudden sound broke something in Geralt’s resolve. His lips crashed down again and his hands tightened their hold on the bard, keeping him pinned in place for Geralt’s hands and mouth to eagerly explore. “Yes, Geralt, fucking finally.”

“I love you,” the Witcher murmured into his skin. He kissed his way along one pale collarbone and then the other, praying his love into every damp press of his lips. “I love you, Jaskier.”

“I’m writing Yennefer a thank you letter.”

“Shut up and kiss me again,” Geralt growled, the hand cupping Jaskier’s jaw moving down to encircle his waist. Better than I’d ever imagined, the bard thought, one leg lifting unconsciously up from the ground. Oh, my love, at last! 

[finalgilmoregirl]

new years : 40s!stucky x fem!reader (all platonic) 🤍

a/n: this wasn’t requested but i’ve been thinking about this for a few days and thought i should write it! i hope you enjoy, AND HAPPY LATE NEW YEARS!!!

sorry for any typos, i’m really tired.

—————————————

“you would think since she’s the one always rushing us she’d be ready by now.” bucky grumbled, leaning on your apartments door.

new year’s eve. an exciting time that brings hope of improvement and change in the world. every year for as long as you could remember you’d spent the night with your favorite boys. being friends since childhood, you never went a day without seeing eachother. even when one of your family’s decided to hold a trip, the other two just had to tag along. and tonight was no exception.

“how much longer we got till midnight?” steve asked.

“mmmm....maybe an hour and a half. we should be able to make it.” bucky said, checking his watch.

“i don’t get why we can’t just stay inside and listen to the countdown on the radio. or even go to a bar?” steve complained.

“she said she wanted to feel the new year. which if by feel she means the cold she’s gonna have us freeze to death in? then yeah. i’m definitely feelin’ it.” the older boy shivered.

their attention was turned to the door when they heard the sound of locks being undone, both letting out a sigh of relief. you opened the door, revealing you in your favorite turtleneck and long plaid skirt. your hair and makeup all done up, the smile you had on your face looking straight out of a catalogue.

“you boys ready to go?” you asked them, happy to see them dressed in their best coats with their hair slicked back. you locked your door and adjusted the purse on your shoulder before you began to walk toward the street, until bucky stopped you.

“you forgetting something y/n/n?” he asked, holding your arm. you suddenly felt the harsh cold and realized you forgot your coat.

“oh! right. thanks buck.” you blushed, opening your door again to retrieve your forgotten winter coat.

the boys smiled at your obvious excitement and started to walk away whilst you shut your door again. you quickly caught up and intertwined your arms with theirs as the three of you made your way to the nearest park to watch the fireworks.

the three of you walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes, listening to the sounds coming from different houses and restaurants. steve was the first to talk, turning his head to you and bucky.

“what do you guys want out of the new year?” he asked, curious to hear what his best friends were hoping for.

“that michelle santana lets me take her out. maybe save up to buy a telescope too.” bucky was quick to say. the ridiculous first answer making you and steve burst out laughing.

“oh please james.” you taunted. “it’s supposed to be a resolution not a miracle.” michelle was one of the most well known girls around, and while most would fall at buckys feet given the chance, she just wasn’t interested.

“oh yeah? what’s your answer then?” bucky huffed, offended by your statement.

“i’m going to get my driver’s license so i don’t have to be seen walking around with you clowns.” you sighed, earning a glare from both boys.

“the hell did i do?” steve asked, whipping his head to look straight at you.

“nothing stevie.” you reassured, patting the blonde boy’s face. “it’s this one that kills it for both of you.” you pointed your thumb at bucky.

“oh yeah? with the way you nearly crashed my pa’s old car? you might as well be asking for a miracle too.” bucky snickered, referring to your failed and only other attempt at driving.

you gasped and pushed him away, pulling steve’s arm to walk ahead of him. bucky cackled behind you two and jogged ahead, throwing an arm around your shoulder. “oh c’mon doll you know i’m just teasing.” he kissed your cheek, to which you fake gagged and wiped it away. “i believe in you. i really do.” he said, giving you a soft smile. you turned your head towards steve, who had yet to give his answer.

“what about you steve? what are you hoping for this year?” you asked. he squinted his eyes and looked ahead as he thought.

“well” he began. “as much as this sounds like wishing for a miracle too, i want to get better, maybe even stronger.”

you and bucky smiled at your friends answer. you knew that with his conditions, getting any stronger than he was now was asking for a lot, but that never stopped steve and you both doubted he would stop anytime soon.

the three of you conversed and joked about nonsense for the rest of the walk, and by the time you approached the park there was 45 minutes until 12:00. the park held the other families of the neighborhood. all drinking and dancing while the clock that stood at the church across the street shone bright. you sat down on a nearby bench, hoping to rest your feet before you inevitably had to walk back home. you hummed along to the soft love songs that echoed through the park, shoving your freezing hands in your coat pocket. meanwhile the two boys paced in circles, having their own conversation about god knows what.

a while later, bucky stood in front of you with a hand reaching out. you raised an eyebrow as your gaze flickered from his hand to his face.

“c’mon doll. dance with me.” he smirked. dream a little dream of me was playing, a song he knew you wouldn’t be able to resist, the slow song being probably your favorite in the world. you gave him a smile and took hold of his hand, him pulling you up and steve taking your place on the bench. bucky held your waist close with one hand, while his other held yours. you placed your empty arm around his neck and rested your head on his chest, swaying along to the music, letting bucky lead. you loved bucky for a lot of things, but one of your favorites was how much of a great dance partner he was, you swore he could be a professional.

the hand bucky held on your waist slowly began to creep down south, which steve was quick to catch. “hey! watch those hands big guy.” he called bucky out, causing you to slap the back of his head. bucky chuckled and retreated his hand back onto your waist, mumbling a “sorry” in between giggles. as the song came to a close and a new one began, you kissed buckys cheek and made your way over to the bench. now it was your turn to offer a hand, but this time to steve. steve simply shook your hand with his and placed it back into his pocket, ignoring your offer.

you rolled your eyes and kept your arm outstretched. “c’mon stevie one dance. please.” you pleaded. steve rarely wanted to dance, you being the only exception a number of times. he was always worried of messing up though you told him that the only way to get better is to slip up a few times and learn. but steve rogers was always known to be a stubborn boy.

he looked at your pleading eyes and knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against them. groaning, he hesitantly took your hand and bit back a smile as you gratefully squealed. steve relaxed once he took note of the slow tempo of the song, glad he wouldn’t have too much trouble with it. he placed his hands where bucky did before and the two of you began your dance. bucky grinned at the sight of his two favorite people.

you leaned your head on steve’s shoulder and quietly sang along to the song that was playing.

never thought that you would be, standing here to close to me

there’s so much i feel that i should say

a beautiful song in your opinion, one you feel you could only understand when you’re around the people you love.

steve, feeling brave, decided to try and spin you. this caught you by suprise but you quickly went with it and the two of you succeeded nonetheless. steve beamed proudly as bucky cheered. “beautiful!”

you laughed, burying your face into steve neck. the song ended way too soon and the two of you sat on the opposite sides on bucky on the bench. you rested your head on his shoulder and reached for his arm to check the time. “how much longer jamie?” you asked. bucky took a look at his watch.

“10 minutes y/n/n.”

you groaned, already wanting the countdown to begin. it was so exciting, not to mention the joy that went through you at the sight of fireworks. the boys quietly laughed at your impatience and began playing some hand game to pass the time.

next thing you knew, five minutes had passed and you shot out of your seat, pulling steve and bucky up and dragging them towards the main street, to get a better view of the commotion bound to happen soon.

“jesus y/n you’re gonna rip my arm off.” you heard steve complain, but you paid no mind and continued marching on. you eventually abruptly stopped at the sidewalk, causing the boys behind you to nearly fall over.

two minutes left on the clock!

“okay.” you turned to the two boys. “who’s going to be my new years kiss?” both their eyes widened at the question. most years, while you three spent the night with eachother, usually found someone before the countdown to kiss. however since it was just the trio of you tonight, you had to compromise.

steve cleared his throught uncomfortably. “kiss? you?”

“yes! i need a new years kiss.” you explained, annoyed at the nervous expression on his face. “oh don’t be like that stevie, i was your first kiss for crying out loud!”

“yeah i suppose.” he shrugged, licking his chapped lips.

“so you’ll do it?” you asked.

“yeah, yeah.” steve nodded.

“hey hey hey what about me?” bucky whined. “i don’t got someone to kiss me.”

“relax. i’ll give you one after.” you told him, turning your attention to the church clock and the crowd that started to form around it as the countdown began.

ten, nine, eight

you reached for their hands, to which they happily accepted.

seven, six, five

you began to bounce in excitement, making your best friends laugh.

four, three, two

you began to join in on the chanting.

one, happy new year!!

you turned to steve and grabbed his face, pulling him into a hard kiss. everyone cheered as the church bells rang and fireworks began to erupt. steve held onto your waist and blushed as you pulled away, looking up to see the colorful sparks in the sky. you then turned to bucky, who was clapping at the view above and you pulled at his collar to give him a kiss as well, to which he quickly reciprocated and tried holding you tight. you pulled away and threw your arms around your favorite boys, bringing them into a group hug.

“i love you idiots.” you told them. they mumbled a couple “love you too”s but the moment was interrupted with the sounds of more fireworks. you stepped back to watch them and at that moment you felt ultimate happiness.

——————————

i really hope you guys enjoyed this :)

[backtothestart02]

Just Best Friends - 9/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: “It’s been 84 years...” lolz. I hope you enjoy this! I don’t know when the next chap will come, but as soon as I can write it, I will!

...

Chapter 9 -

A week passed. During that week, Iris made herself completely unreachable – not just to Barry but to Eddie as well. She worked through lunch, so Barry couldn’t take her out, and she worked late hours, so that by the time she returned to hers and Eddie’s apartment, she was so exhausted, she could only heat up some leftovers and collapse onto their bed when she was finished with them.

That also meant no sex, no cuddling, and hardly any talking that wasn’t an incredibly brief apology before passing out or running out the door. And for Barry, it was just one excuse after another, though they always sounded very similar.

Sorry, I have so much work to do. Or… Maybe another time? I just got a new story, and I have a hot lead on it.

He always understood in words, but she could see the disappointment on his face every time. As well as her failure to respond to the fresh bouquet of flowers he set on her desk daily.

They weren’t just excuses though. They were legitimate…most of the time. Were they unnecessary? Probably. She didn’t have to go out of her way to beg her boss for more stories, or to work so far ahead of schedule that she felt she was on the verge of a burn out or collapse.

But she didn’t know how to act now that Eddie was back. She knew she needed to break up with him. She knew that. But she didn’t want to break his heart, and she wasn’t 100% sure Barry would just agree to date her after the hell she’d put him through emotionally. So avoiding both of them seemed to be the only way out.

She’d also come to the conclusion that while irritating, her dad going out of his way to forbid Barry to tell her he was the Flash had come from a place of love, and that she couldn’t stay mad at him any more than she could with Barry. The only problem was she found having that conversation with him was almost impossible because either Eddie or Barry or both seemed to be in his vicinity at all times.

Little did she know though that there was one other person who was taking a keen interest in the situation developing over the past week, and it was the one person she’d been paranoid about for a while before Eddie came back, and who she’d entirely forgotten about as the weight of the three men in her life came barreling down on her.

And that person had apparently had enough of what she was doing and had decided to seek her out for a confrontation of sorts shortly after Barry left during his lunch break for the fifth time that week.

With a slow yet determined saunter, Linda approached Iris’ desk just as soon as Mason disappeared for his daily lunch walk.

“Iris.”

The familiar voice made her freeze. She recovered quickly, but she had a feeling Linda had caught her red-handed and completely unprepared for where this particular conversation would lead. After all, the last time they’d “talked”, Linda had completely brushed her off, and the time before that Linda had told her to her face that she knew Iris had feelings for Barry, even when she’d still been in denial of that fact herself.

“Linda.” She shuffled her papers around on her desk to somehow fill the awkwardness of the moment. “What, uh…what can I do for you?”

Linda folded her arms and sat on the corner of Iris’ desk.

“Was that Barry that just left?”

“Hmm?” She decided to play dumb. “Oh, yeah, it was. He uh, wanted to go to lunch. I told him I had work to do, which I did – do. So, if you don’t mind?”

Linda’s jaw actually dropped.

“Dismissing me so quickly? If I recall correctly, the last time we talked, you were only too eager to get my attention.”

Iris bit her tongue to keep from responding with something she’d regret.

“Let me guess. You’re giving me a taste of my own medicine?” Linda raised her eyebrows.

Iris cleared her throat.

“Not at all. I just…I have work to do. A lot of it.”

“You’ve had a lot of work to do for the past five days, haven’t you?”

Iris’ eyes squinted.

“Have you been…spying on me?”

“Please.” Iris waited. “I’ve been talking to Barry. He’s needed someone to vent to, you know, since before Eddie came back you were practically climbing on top of him every day at lunch and after work and sometimes before work, according to him.”

“That’s not how it was,” Iris said under her breath.

“No? You better clear that up with your supposed best friend then, because that’s how he saw it. He’s crushed that you’re avoiding him again.” She leaned forward. “Which you are doing, right? Neither of us is buying that you suddenly have so much work to do.”

“I do!” Iris snapped. “I…I asked for it.”

Linda’s eyes widened and her mouth formed an ‘o’.

“And why would you do that?”

She started shuffling her papers again.

“That’s none of your business.”

“You made it my business when you made out with my boyfriend after sticking your finger in his mouth and sitting on his lap on our date.”

Iris sighed testily.

“I thought you two broke up.”

“We did.”

“Do you wish you hadn’t? I know it wasn’t your idea.”

“I’m not stupid, Iris. I’m not going to blindly fight for a relationship with someone who clearly wants to be with someone else.”

Iris bit her lip, avoiding eye contact.

“He does?” she asked quietly.

“He’s in love with you!” She lowered her voice when she got a few looks. “He’d take you in a heartbeat,” she paused. “If that’s what you want.”

Iris swallowed.

“But you don’t know what you want, do you?”

“Yes, I…I do.”

“Then what do you want? Please, tell me at least.”

“Why?” She met her eyes again and glared. “So you can run off and tell Barry? Or Eddie?”

Linda rolled her eyes.

“I have no reason to tell your boyfriend anything. Barry, however, I do still care about. And we’re friends now. He deserves to know the truth, even if it isn’t from you. He’s going crazy with all your…mixed signals.”

Iris nibbled on her lip again, guilt weighing her down.

“Iris, hey, there’s something I wanted to…” Mason approached, then came to an abrupt halt, sensing the tension between the two women immediately. “Am I interrupting something?” He looked between the two.

“Not at all.” Linda smiled serenely before looking down at Iris one last time. “You know where to find me, Iris.”

Iris gulped, not looking at her but nodded just before Linda retreated – finally – to her desk across the room.

“What was that about?”

Iris closed her eyes and shook her head before swiveling in her chair toward him.

“Nothing. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

His eyes were full of suspicion, but it was clear his need to discuss something with her was greater.

“I want to show you something.” He took the seat Linda had vacated, then pulled out a folder, revealing to her a familiar face she’d nearly forgotten. “Simon Stagg. Remember him?”

…

Well, there was no longer any way of avoiding it. She had to seek out Barry. Mason’s suspicions about Harrison Wells stirred her insides too deeply, and honestly, made her worried about her best friend, since she knew how much he adored who had become to be his mentor. There was Caitlin and Cisco to consider too, who had known Dr. Wells even longer, but right now all she cared about was Barry.

So, she marched over to CCPD shortly after her conversation with Mason, using the excuse of pursuing a story – which, more or less, she was – to explain her absence at her work site and sought out Barry as soon as she stepped out of the elevator.

Unfortunately, her dad’s eyes locked with hers first. She swallowed, remembering how things were between them. She considered then abandoning a much-needed talk with Barry to finally hash things out with her dad. That course of action was dashed however, when within seconds he had looked away from her and gestured instead in her direction to whoever was standing across from him.

She should’ve known then who it would be, but it didn’t occur to her until he was walking toward her, a grin on his face, no doubt thinking she was there to see him.

“Iris, hey.” He kissed her before she could even think to turn her cheek to him. “Did you have a late lunch today? I have some time now. We cou-”

“Oh, actually, I’m here to see, Barry. Is he upstairs?”

“Huh?”

“In his lab?”

Eddie blinked.

“Um, yeah, as far as I know. There are no active crime scenes where he’d be at otherwise.”

“Great. Thanks. I’ll see you tonight.”

She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and headed towards the staircase before he could so much as pull her in for an explanation or something more.

Feeling confused and honestly a little hurt, Eddie returned to his desk, Joe sitting now at his, ignoring Eddie’s state as best as he could.

“Should I be worried?” he finally asked.

Joe pretended not to have heard him.

“Joe.”

“Hmm?” he asked, not looking up from the files he was pretending to look over in front of him.

“Should I be worried?”

“About what?”

“About Iris,” he said, as if it should be obvious.

Despite how he felt about the man dating his daughter, Joe looked up to address him. He was also his partner, after all.

“Why are you worried about her?”

Eddie let out a cough of relief, eager to unload his troubles onto somebody – anybody – who would listen.

“She’s made herself busy ever since I got back.”

“She has a job. So do you.”

“More so than usual though,” he pushed on. “She leaves earlier than she used to, and she comes home really late. When she does, she eats some leftovers and crawls into bed without so much as a ‘hey, how was your day’ or ‘I love you, too, Eddie’.” He frowned. “It worries me.”

Now Joe frowned.

“She’s been avoiding Barry too.”

Eddie’s frown deepened.

“When had Barry been trying to meet up with her?”

“On her lunch breaks,” he blurted without thinking, then met his eyes, trying to play it off. “She always says she’s too busy working on a story.”

Eddie leaned back in his seat.

“I haven’t tried to meet up with her for lunch at all this week. I guess I’m so used to her coming here, and if she didn’t, that she had a good reason. I guess she did.”

“Well, there you go.”

Joe started to stand, eager to escape the awkwardness of the conversation.

“But I mean, we haven’t had sex all week.”

Joe finished straightening, then shot him a glare. Eddie’s face fell.

“You didn’t want to hear that.”

“Not particularly, no,” Joe said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

He turned and headed for the bathroom. Any place was better than this.

…

About a step and a half before the entryway to Barry’s lap, Iris stalled, nibbling on her bottom lip. Barry had been as pleasant during her intended lunch break as he’d been all week, but she still wondered how accepting he’d be of her, especially when he found out this was a working meeting. She definitely needed to apologize first. How and when was the question, though. It was still beyond her how he hadn’t lashed out at her yet. She’d been treating him so unfairly, and yet time and time again, he kept crawling back to her, as if he was a glutton for punishment.

Well, no more of that. She couldn’t guarantee when she would break up with Eddie, but maybe Linda was right and she could at least explain her behavior this week and tell him she planned to break up with Eddie. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe…eventually.

“Is someone there?” Barry called out, and Iris realized she’d started tapping her shoe against the floor in time with the rapid rhythm of her mind.

She stopped abruptly, then cleared her throat and peeked her head into the doorway.

“Hey.”

She gave an awkward hand wave.

“Iris?”

His brows furrowed, but he started to smile. Lord, help her, it made her heart do a flip.

“What are you doing out there?” He got up out of his seat and headed towards her. “And why didn’t you just come in?”

“S-sorry,” she stuttered, shocked by it as much as he was, then forced herself to walk through the door.

He came to a stop as soon as she was inside and waited for her explanation.

“I guess I didn’t know if you’d want to see me.”

He gawked.

“Iris, I’ve been trying to see you all week.”

“No, I know. Of course. Right. But uh…I thought my rejecting you today might’ve been your breaking point, and that you wouldn’t want to see me now. Without an apology. Which I am totally willing to make, by the way.” Her chuckle was strained, and she couldn’t meet his eyes.

“What’s there to apologize for?” he asked. “You had work to do. That isn’t your fault. I’m sure you’ve been working hard to catch up.”

“Actually…” She took another step toward him. “I haven’t.”

His brows furrowed, and he sat back down.

“I don’t follow.”

She sighed and sat on the corner of his desk, the only spot where there wasn’t files or a conglomeration of office supplies.

“I asked for extra work.” She swallowed. “On Monday.”

He tilted his head, confused.

“I was trying to be busy. On purpose.” She licked her lips. “So I’d be too busy if you came to see me.”

He froze, his heart thudding away inside his chest. He didn’t know how to take that bit of information, and honestly, he was crushed.

“I don’t understand…you didn’t want to see me?”

The hurt in his voice was palpable. Iris hated that she was doing this to him again. He shouldn’t even want to be her friend after this, no matter how apologetic she was.

“Not just you,” she said, hoping that would soften the blow. “Eddie too. And my dad.”

He was mystified by that. He understood Joe, what with the Flash business and all that, but Eddie?

“What have you got against Eddie?”

“Nothing!” she burst, then got up and started to pace. “I just…” She licked her lips, unable to stop walking and unable to form words either, it seemed. She couldn’t stop though. Not to leave, not to make eye contact. Her hard was pounding, and her breath was coming in short bursts. She felt everything closing in around her and wondered if she was having a panic attack.

Suddenly, she stopped and forced herself to look at him.

“Do you want me to go?”

“No,” he said instantly, standing too. “I want an explanation.”

She swallowed.

“I thought you and I were good last week.”

“We were,” she said. “We are.”

“Yet you purposely didn’t want me near you this week?”

Her knees locked, and she tensed up.

“And Eddie…what in the world did he do except home to you? I would’ve thought you’d be happy about that.”

Tears welled in her eyes. Her fingers were sweaty and tingled. She didn’t answer. She couldn’t.

“Iris.”

Answer.

“I don’t love him anymore!”

She covered her mouth at the same moment his eyes bulged, and he nearly stumbled backward.

“What?” he finally managed.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair as she started to pace again.

“I realized it last week. Or rather, I’ve been slowly realizing it for the past several weeks. I’ve just been…in denial.”

Barry’s pulse started racing. He approached her moving form with one determined step after another.

“What have you been in denial about, Iris?”

She stopped.

“What I just said!” She licked her lips again. “I don’t love him. I’m not in love with him anymore. But I don’t…I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t want to break his heart. Especially after I went out of my way to make him feel bad about thinking there was anything between us, when really-”

“Wait, wait, wait, us? As in, you and I, us?”

She looked up at him reluctantly and nodded.

“Yeah.”

“He doesn’t know I told you how I felt, does he? At Christmas?”

“No!” Her eyes widened. “No, I didn’t tell him that. He’d probably have punched you by now if I had.”

Barry paled, then squeaked, “Really?”

“Uh-huh,” she confirmed.

“W-Why?” He wrapped his arm around the back of his head.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He gave her a blank look. “You were trying to get his girlfriend to break up with him. To be with you.”

Barry thought about it for a few seconds, then realized that yeah, he kind of had been. He shook his head after he got past that thought.

“I still don’t understand though. If you didn’t tell him about that…” He locked eyes with her. “Did you tell him you…find me attractive?”

“Oh, God, no.” She pressed her face into her hands. “That would’ve been even worse.”

“Worse than a love confession? How?”

“Because it’s coming from me! And I…”

“What?”

She power-walked to right in front of him and prepared herself for the blow of all blows.

“I don’t just find you attractive, Barry. I have…I have feelings for you.”

I’m in love with you – But she couldn’t admit to that yet. Not while she was still dating Eddie.

He swallowed, fighting with the smile that wanted to take over his face.

“What kind of feelings?”

“Barry.” Her voice softened. “You know what kind.”

“Tell me,” he said. “Just so I know for sure.”

He was holding his breath, and she couldn’t blame him. Honestly, she was on the brink of holding hers too.

“You make my heart race, Barry.”

“Iris.”

He started to lean in, and it took all of her willpower to step back out of reach.

“No, we can’t. I can’t. It’s bad enough I cheated once. This can’t go any farther until it’s over.” She met his eyes. “Until Eddie and I are over.”

Barry swallowed.

“And when will that be?”

Her shoulders slumped, and her bottom lip quivered.

“I don’t know.”

His shoulders caved in as well. He forced himself not to get mad, but he couldn’t help feeling disappointed. So, the love of his life finally felt the same way, but she wouldn’t let herself act on it? And she wouldn’t do the one thing that would allow them to be together.

“Is that the only thing you came to tell me?” he asked, unable to keep some chill out of his words.

Iris supposed she couldn’t blame him.

“No…” she admitted, deciding not to mention how she hadn’t meant to tell him as much as she had.

“What else?”

She pursed her lips, hating that she had to turn this conversation into a business one before she could give him the answer that he wanted.

“What else, Iris?” he asked, sounding exhausted when she didn’t answer for too long.

“It’s about, Dr. Wells,” she finally said.

That caught him off guard.

“Dr. Wells? What does he have to do with anything?”

“I hope nothing, but just in case…can we go somewhere else? To talk?”

He wanted to ask her what was wrong with his lab, but he supposed the fresh air would do them both good. Give them a clear head and put everything she’d already said to rest for the time being. After all, she sounded awfully serious about whatever else she wanted to talk about.

“Sure,” he said. “Just let me grab my jacket.”

“Barry,” she called after him as he walked by her.

He stopped when he reached his garment.

“I’m sorry about…everything.”

“Don’t worry about it, Iris,” he said, as he slid his arms through the sleeves. “It’s fine.”

…

Hours later, and on a whim, Eddie found himself at a jewelry store – diamonds, to be more specific. In the back of his mind, he knew his intentions probably weren’t smart. Especially not right now, not with the way things were between him and Iris, especially this week. But there was another part of him that thought this might be just the thing to jolt their relationship back into what it had once been and the potential of what it could be, the future he’d seen from almost the minute he started dating her.

He pointed out a ring nestled in velvet that caught his eye in the display case below him. An employee walked up, inspired by his curiosity and tried to catch his attention.

“Sir?”

“Can I see that one, please?”

The man smiled.

“Of course.”

He reached for the key and unlocked the case. Just as he was pulling the velvet block out with the specified ring upon it, Eddie’s phone started to vibrate.

“Oh, excuse me.”

He turned partially away and glanced at the screen on his phone. He answered immediately, a smile on his face.

“Hey, Iris, what’s up?”

“I’m home,” she said, and he could hear the frown in her voice.

“So early?”

“Yeah, I felt bad for coming home so late every night this week…I thought we could have dinner together.”

“That sounds great.”

“Yeah?” She sounded relieved.

“Definitely. I’m uh…just running a last-minute errand. I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay. See you then.”

“See you.”

He turned back to the jeweler as he slid the phone back in his pocket, and his eyes widened with enthusiasm as the ring was presented to him.

“Oh, yeah. This is the one.”

[dramionecommentfest]

Reader profile: smozark

Next up in reader profiles we have the one, the only, the incredible @smozark. I must admit to fangirling when smo agreed to be profiled; she is an incredibly supportive reader who I have seen *all* over the fandom and have been truly wowed by how engaged she is in this fandom. Without further ado, I present to you @smozark!

Location: East Coast, United States Hogwarts House: Slytherdore Pronouns: she/her/hers

When did you start reading Dramione? How did you originally find fics to read?  I think it was early to mid 2019-ish? I got started because I thought it was cool that Emma Watson and Tom Felton are friends. I read the word "Dramione," Googled it, and found “We Learned the Sea” and “Isolation.” I discovered AO3 shortly after and found authors like @provocative-envy and @lovesbitca8 and @indreamsink and I was hooked.

How have you gotten more involved in the Dramione community? What platforms/websites have you participated in, and which do you like? I got involved with the community by posting comments!! It was so much fun to interact that way, so when I figured out what Discord was I joined and started chatting there. I also really love the artists in this community and enjoy commissioning works when I can. I'm only on AO3, tumblr, and Discord. I am actually not a huge social media fan, so I am fairly passive and lurker-like on tumblr. I'm much more comfortable on Discord.

Tell us about any reading preferences or practices! I read daily on my phone. I've been known to block time on my work calendar to catch a chapter drop. [Editor’s note: GOALS] Honestly, this fandom was my refuge in 2020. I feel no shame in admitting that I escaped the dumpster fire by immersing myself in other people's creativity. I'm so grateful to authors who can make their ideas into published works so we can get some respite.

Do you like to leave comments? If so, what is your advice for leaving comments? YES. As often as I feel moved to do so. My advice is to comment whenever you can, but don't feel bad if you don't want to. Writers aren't obligated to publish, you aren't obligated to comment. That said, I will also advise that if you comment, make it positive. Why add needless negative to the world? I have read hundreds of fics. Some are really tough to get through. Maybe the story is slow, maybe the grammar is bad, maybe there are some characterizations I'm uncomfortable with. I will NEVER make a comment about any of that. If I'm not beta-ing, it's not my place. If I can't find anything to compliment, I close the tab and move on. That's rare, because there's always something wonderful. Even a story with poor grammar and usage can have a really cool story or interesting characters. So find what you like and tell the author about it! Unless you don't feel like it. 

What is your all-time favorite fic you’ve read? Oh gosh, what a cruel question. I have no idea how to even answer. They are all so different!! Over/Under by @provocative-envy is my favorite in all of HP fandom. The entire summer camp collection, if I'm honest. My favorite Dramione ….. Gaaaahhhhhhh the pressure!!!!! Ummm. I'm going to shamelessly cheat and say my fave one-shot is My Brown-Eyed Girl by @pacific-rimbaud and my top 5 favorite finished multi-chaps right now are the Wait and Hope series by @mightbewriting (more cheating), Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing, A Thing With[out] Feathers by @senlinyu, and Anchors in a Storm by @inadaze22, and Protective Custody by @colubrina. I'm cutting myself off there. If I keep going or add WIPs, we'll be here all day!

What fic gave you the most feels?  What You Think Is Right by @icepower55. Hands down. Didn't even have to think. It is a raw, unflinching, brutally honest look at a broken marriage. It was incredibly authentic and helped me process some of my baggage. It's just gorgeous. @icepower55 is so talented, and she has a great beta team!! I'm writing this the day the last chapter posted, so go binge if you haven't already.

Who is your favorite side character from any Dramione fic? Another impossible question!! How can I pick between Theo or Pansy from Wait and Hope? Grix from Love and Other Historical Accidents or Jonathan Gable from One and Done? Ginny or Sasha from Remain Nameless? Mippy or Blaise from Rights and Wrongs?? Charlie or Hamish from Universal Truths? You don't. You shamelessly cheat some more and list them all!!! (Please never make me play FMK. I'll spontaneously combust.)

Tell us a fun fact about yourself! I worked at a butcher shop for a while. I hated my first job out of college, but it was the recession so I couldn't exactly quit. I convinced a local artisan market to let me apprentice after work. They paid me in meat. It was awesome.

Thank you so much, smozark!! A true fangirl moment right here! Thanks for sharing with us, and please accept my apologies for the cruel questions. 

Be like @smozark! Put a hold on your calendar when new chapters drop (I will repeat: GOALS) and also sign up for the Dramione Comment Fest! Sign-ups close ***TOMORROW*** aka Saturday, February 6, 2021. Check out the rules here and sign up here. We hope you can join us!

[southfarthing]

fic tag game!

tagged by @mumble-muse – thank you cutie!!

.

How many works do you have on AO3?

8 on my current account + another 11 on my old one

What’s your total AO3 word count?

101,834 (+ 100,838 = 202,672)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Currently Merlin, but my old account was for B.A.P and a little bit of BTS (kpop). Kinda feel weird about rpf now though lmao. Would be interesting to write some for LOTR/Tolkien someday, but I haven't had any ideas yet!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm only including the fics from my current account:

scorch marks and embers (690) – merlin & arthur s4 alternate plot, angst with a happy ending, drama, tension, character growth, slow burn

to spill soup (down someone else's front) (83) – merlin & gwen s4–5 fluff

deep roots are not reached by the frost (47) – merlin & knights of the round table as rangers in middle earth

so full of life (34) – merlin exploring his magical ties to nature

at night you could hear its cries (30) – merlin s5 angst

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes!! I usually do it in bursts though, so it takes me a while sometimes, but I read them excitedly as soon as I get the email 🥺🤧💛

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ooooh my last one, at night you could hear its cries? I was not having a good day and took it out on my poor boy 😌

Do you write crossovers? if so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I wrote two Merlin fics (in a land of myth and a time of hobbits and deep roots are not reached by the frost) set vaguely in Middle Earth lmao and they were very fun so I might do more 👀

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I once saw a girl on twitter say that she felt she'd wasted time reading my gen-marked fic because the characters didn't make out at the end 🤡 and she said she wouldn't recommend it to other people who had originally been thinking of reading it :) and so out of spite I continue writing gen to this day 😛 hope you enjoy friendship 😛🥰😏☺️😌

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

No lmao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sure hope not 🔪

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No and I don't think it'd go down well bc I'm very opinionated when it comes to writing and wouldn't share it well

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Faramir & Eowyn. I think they work brilliantly and I really like that they heal together after everything they've been through, but I still wouldn't seek out or write fic about them. I feel like I'm missing out on the love of shipping that everyone else in fandom seems to have 😌

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I usually only start writing if I know I like the idea enough to finish it. I do have a few from my old account that I've abandoned, but that's more because I lost interest in the fandom than in the fics themselves

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterisation/character growth

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting 😬 and I have a tendency to turn everything into angsty drama when it doesn't need to be and then I have to go back and tone it down

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If it's a minimal amount and necessary then ok, but otherwise it can be kinda jarring (which I suppose is ok if that's the ambition). Unless you're Jirt. Then it's ok you can blather on in elvish all u want sir I am still very invested

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter hehe it was a next generation fic and I planned like 50 chapters but I was only 13 and gave up after five chaps

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I was really proud of something I should tell you at the time because it was my first ever completed longfic, but now it's definitely scorch marks and embers, which I kinda see as a S4 fix-it fic (but worse lol). We shall see if the spot gets taken by the Robin Hood au 👀

tagging @verecunda @magicinavalon @nextstopparis (absolutely no pressure!) and whoever else wants to! 💛

[ronans-sepiaphotograph]

Sunflower, Vol. 6

(A Jerejean AU)

Part one.

Part two:

Tired eyes are the death of me

Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you

I've got your face hung up high in the gallery

I love this shade, sunflower, sunflower

Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody

This wonderful edit is by @91percentpynch which inspired me to start writing this AU. I adore her and Jean Moreau is the love of our life and the light of our existence and the moon of our sky.

The next time Jean stepped foot inside Knox florists was one month later because he couldn't get Jeremy the shop out of his head. There were hazel eyes and cymbidiums, yellow blonde hair and chrysanthemums and Jeremy and his bright smile.

Jean never wanted anything before. Want meant making yourself vulnerable, stripping down your walls. It had only led him to pain and hurt, blood and tears. But there it was again, this overwhelming ache, this annoying brightness that made Jean want.

The shop was empty except for Garfield sniffing a pot of hydrangeas as Jean was about to open the door, Luna bouncing beside him already.

The bell chimed and a second later, Jeremy's head popped up from behind the counter. He still had his stupid smile on his face that made Jean's heart stutter in his chest. And there were leaves and rose petals stuck in his flowy blonde hair. He waved enthusiastically at Jeremy and Jean smiled a small smile.

"hello" "hi" "how are you, Jean Moreau?"

Jeremy's French was so terribly Jean sighed.

"Jeremy your French is terrible" "I know but it makes you smile so it's win"

Jean didn't know whether to fling himself out of this world or to press his lips on Jeremy's.

"perhaps you can teach me. I can pronounce croissant" "oh mon dieu no" "or avant garde" "stop" "or crème brulée" "no Jeremy-"

Jeremy was staring at him, his smile wider than ever which just made Jean wonder whether he did something.

"did I something?" "You're laughing" "I can laugh" "it's the first time you've laughed that I've heard"

They were both blushing. Jean literally sighed and buried his head in his arms on the table. Jeremy laughed and Jean wanted to tattoo his laugh on his heart even if that made no remote sense.

"if it's okay I'm gonna sit here and sketch" "can I see?" "Maybe later?" "Okay"

He did. The studio was closed today as Aaron had gone home to visit his boyfriend and twin brother. And Jean got terribly bored at the studio alone. And he remembered he had Jeremy's card. So, he was back. He had been busy for a month with a lot of commissions so he had been talking to Jeremy via text. It was quite fun as Jeremy was just as bright when he texted.

He pulled out his sketchbook. There were all sorts of things that he'd sketched. Flowers and vines, hands and eyes, animals and birds. He had tattooed a few even. He looked around but his eyes landed only on Jeremy who stuck out like a sore thumb against the sea of plants.

He gave in and started putting Jeremy on paper. The mess of his blonde hair, wavy and long. His large eyes and pointy nose that dipped at the right angle. The curve of his cupid's bow and the freckles on his face, dusted across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

It was slow and delicate, the scratch of graphite against the paper because art came slow and eventual, like rainfall on a sunny day.

Jeremy was not short, just that Jean was taller by a few inches. He was tall and angular and had muscular arms and beautiful hands with nerves jutting out when he flexed his hands. His nails were almost always painted a bright yellow.

Jeremy came alive on Jean's sketchbook and the Jean took out his pencils to fill in the colour. He spent a good minutes trying match the colour of Jeremy's skin until he was fed up and went with the closest shade.

When he looked up, Jeremy was tending to a rather large bouquet of tulips and roses as he chatted with his customer. The hope blooming in Jean's chest wilted he saw Jeremy blush while talking to the woman.

Jean vented out his frustration by aggressively scribbling his pencil until the tip broke with a crack. He didn't even know why he was angry at this, this mess of feelings that had bloomed in his chest.

And why would Jeremy even like him? He was too broken, there were too many sharp yet delicate pieces of him that he himself couldn't keep a count of yet he was trying to piece them together, one by one. Why would Jeremy pick those up and cradle them when he could have someone who'd give him all he wanted. Jean had survived, barely and he didn't know how to live. Live in the way life was supposed to be lived in.

Jeremy noticed him and sat beside him after he handed the woman her bouquet. Jean didn't say anything but continues to colour his sketch as he felt Jeremy's eyes linger on him.

"Jean?" "Yes?" "Is that me?"

Jean didn't say anything but responded by slamming his sketchbook shut and gathering his pencils. Jeremy flinched beside him. He got up, eyes burning as he grabbed Luna's leash and walked to leave. She tilted her head in question but followed him nonetheless.

Be still my unsteady heart, he angrily reminded himself as he prepared to storm out.

Then they were, Jeremy's fingers closed around his wrist that made his heart hammer louder than ever that it was ringing in his own ears.

"don't go please"; the broken edges of Jeremy's whisper that told him to turn around.

"did I do something wrong?" "No" "then?" "It hurts" "what does?" "Everything?" "Okay" "you" "me?" "You hurt me"

The silence began to eat him slowly, creeping up from the ground. When he looked at Jeremy, his eyes had darkened to a stormy hazel and his frown was there, underlying. He loosened his grip on Jean's and stepped backward but Jean caught his hand again.

"I've never felt this way about anyone. But you are making me feel these, these emotions that made hope blooms until your girlfriend came here" "I don't have a girlfriend?" "The lady who came in earlier" "oh, she was my sister. She asked me- whether- whether you were my boyfriend" "oh"

There was Jeremy, blushing again, slowly lacing their fingers together; carefully, elegantly, slowly as if giving Jean time to pull away but their fingers tangled and oh, oh, oh, Jeremy was so warm and Jean was so cold. Because Jeremy was alive and warm and his heartbeat was faint staccato under Jean's fingers and Jean was cold and learning to live and his heart was a thawing piece of frozen flesh.

"well" "I'm sorry" "don't be, please. Would you like to have lunch with me?" "Okay" "do you like tacos?" "I suppose"

Jeremy laughed brightly as Jean let go and sat back down. Jeremy called a place and ordered food and came back to sit beside him.

"can I see the sketch?" "Yes"

Jean pulled out his sketchbook and showed the sketch to Jeremy. Jeremy's fingers were feather light on the paper as they grazed his own features, delicate and beautiful. When Jeremy looked back at him, his eyes were bright and twinkling and full of admiration for Jean.

He looked with such ferocity that for the first time Jean felt seen. He felt vulnerable and fragile and felt like Jeremy would break him the way he wanted to be broken, just to be healed again.

His smile was gentle and persistent, it made Jean's heart flutter again. And he was suddenly leaning closer towards Jeremy, closer and closer until their breaths mingled.

"I fear you'll burn me" "what?" "You're so bright like the sun I feel like you'll incinerate this very second until all that remains is nothing yet, yet I can't help but be drawn to you" "oh"

And Jean watched as Jeremy's fingers inched towards his face, slow so as to give Jean to pull away but Jean didn't, he wouldn't. And Jean's skin was on fire as Jeremy's fingers grazed his cheeks, traced the tattoo of the moon that has risen there and the trail of little stars that began at his cheek and cascade down like a starry waterfall down his neck and onto his back and into nothingness.

Jean's inhaled sharply as Jeremy breathed as he traced his finger delicately across Jean's face as if he was made of glass and too much pressure and Jean would crack.

Jean was toughened like a diamond or a rock and nothing could break him anymore but Jeremy. Jeremy made him feel like he was a delicate little thing, a bud, a blossom blooming on a dewy morning.

Jean moved and Jeremy's face was under his hands as the pupils of Jeremy's eyes widened. He rubbed his calloused thumbs across Jeremy's cheeks and Jeremy closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them again, they were twinkling like stars.

"Hazel mixed with green" "huh?" "The colour of your eyes when you stand under the sun and the rays hit them perfectly"

Jeremy laughed and Jean leaned forward and looked at Jeremy. There was no hesitation, none at all. Jean let his feelings wash him over, trample him over and he had surrendered in this want. He pressed his lips against Jeremy's and they were soft, and warm against Jean's chapped and cold ones. And Jeremy's hands were gentle in his hair, carding through it.

When they pulled away, the unsteadiness in Jean's heart had calmed down as he looked at Jeremy. There was a faint pink tinge to his cheeks that clashed with his freckles and there was that lopsided smile that was different from his usual ones. Jean thought that this one might be special.

"I have nothing to give to you, Jeremy Knox. Except me" "and I'll try to give you everything you want" "I'm broken and there's too many pieces" "then let me pick them up with you, for you" "I fear you'll break me. I fear you'll break me and help me heal when I'm too shattered" "I'll try to make you feel less broken"

Jeremy didn't assure him that he'll make Jean whole. Jean supposed Jeremy knew that feeling whole was just bullshit. It was false hope and fake words for those who were afraid of the truth.

Jean pulled up his sleeves, to reveal his scars and tattoos and Jeremy was staring wide-eyed at him. Jeremy's fingers hovered around his arms and Jean whispered a quiet yes and Jeremy grazed his fingers against his scars, the flowers and vines tattooed around them and the sunflower on his forearm. Jeremy smiled at him through glassy eyes. Jeremy moved his fingers, slender and long and graceful against Jean's skin, like an artist mixing colours on a pallet, careful and methodical.

"you gave me the sunflower, Jeremy Knox" "I remember" "this one will never wilt" "I'll give you a million sunflowers more if you want"

Jean smiled, it was not as bright as Jeremy's but it'd do and pressed his lips against Jeremy's once more.

It felt a lot like blooming.

[ssvgawara]

First Date Nerves

Summary: Atsumu shouldn’t be as nervous as he is to ask you out or for your date but he is. But you? You find it cute

WC: 1.3k

a/n: I needed to write some good Atsumu fluff for the soul, also so I could avoid my work because I deserved a break. Also I’m a sucker for cute first dates especially what I’ve written (no spoilers ;) )

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It’s honestly cute how nervous he is.

Atsumu is standing there stuttering over his words and you’re waiting for him patiently. You giggle a little bit watching him and he notices getting a little defensive.

“Hey! Why are ya laughing? I’m pouring out my feelings for ya and yer over there gigglin’” Atsumu crossed his arms a pout forming on his lips. You giggled again

“I’m sorry but you’re just too cute. You’re so confident on the court but the moment you try and talk about your feelings you clam up. It’s cute”

“So ya think I’m cute?” Atsumu said his attitude suddenly changing his signature grin on his face.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night” you laughed nudging his shoulder lightly which made him give a short yelp and rub the spot you hit, acting as if it hurt. You see right through this and just laugh some more.

“I’d sleep better knowing yer going on a date with me this weekend,” He finally got his initial question out. You gave him a large smile.

“Well we couldn’t have you not sleeping well could we?” You grinned agreeing to the date without a forward yes.

“I’ll pick you up Saturday around noon, wear something cute,” He winked, but internally he was screaming at the fact that you had agreed to a date with him. Sure he has a plan but he didn’t think he’d make it this far.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It’s Saturday morning

Even though Atsumu said he’d sleep better knowing he was getting his date with you he hadn’t slept a wink the previous night. He had the perfect plan to make this date perfect and he hoped you would love it.

What he has yet to realize is that any moment you spend with him is perfect. He’ll find that out later.

But that’s for later, back to the present.

Atsumu’s standing in front of his closet trying to decide what to wear. He thought this was only a problem girls have. After staring pitifully into the closet hoping for his clothes to begin speaking to him, telling him what he should wear he finally pulled out an outfit the worked.

Getting ready he looked at the time realizing he was running behind and he’d have to rush to make it to you by noon.

God he hoped you were struggling as much as he was.

In reality, while you had your own nerves things were going okay. You had spent the morning taking your time to get ready. Granted you were a little confused by what he meant by cute, you had ended up going with an outfit that was good for just about any outing.

Around noon a quick knock on your door signaled the arrival of your date. Collecting your things you answered the door to find Atsumu out of breath.

“Did you run here?’

“No.”

You obviously knew he was lying but shrugged it off instead choosing to tilt your chin and point to the bag he was carrying.

“What’s with the bag?” You questioned shutting the door and stepping outside beside the blond.

“It’s a surprise now c’mon I have the best date ever planned,” You gave a small laugh as he grabbed your hand and pulled you a long refusing to tell you his plan.

He wouldn’t tell you because he was secretly scared you’d hate it. He’d worked so hard to make it perfect and something you’d both enjoy. You couldn’t tell but he was nervous. He refused to let go of your hand, scared that if he et go you’d notice how shakey he was.

Eventually after a short a walk the two of you arrive at a park. It seemed mostly empty save for another couple walking down a worn path.

“I thought we could have a picnic,” Atsumu spoke up nervously rubbing the back of his neck. He looked up to gauge your response.

It almost felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest when a smile lit up your face. You crashed into him bringing him into a hug.

“I love it ‘Tsumu” You said pulling away from him.

“Don’t go falling in love with me before this date even begins,” he joked leading you over to a clearing. He set the bag he had been carrying down and pulled out a blanket for the two of you to sit on.

“I bothered ‘Samu for days before he finally helped me make these,” Atsumu mumbled a small smile on his face as he pulled out two bentos. The two of you sat on the blanket facing each other, he handed you one of the bentos shyly which you took.

“Y’know ‘Tsumu based on your confidence on the court one would think you wouldn’t be this nervous going on date.” You said casually before opening the bento. It smelled and looked great and you were excited to dig in.

He shrugged, “I didn’t think I would be nervous either but ya just have that effect on me I guess,” He said  before taking a bite, “Hey, I didn’t do half bad.”

You gave a short laugh as he praises his own cooking before taking a bite of yours and nodding in agreement, “You’re right you didn’t do half bad.”

“Noooo, yer supposed to say ‘wow ‘Tsumu this is best thing I’ve ever eaten thank ya for this amazing food and great date,’” He said with a whine, you only laughed.

“Let’s make it through the date before I say anything like that.”

And from that the two of you talked while eating. It was full of jokes and laughs. Especially when Atsumu choked on his food laughing to hard at a lame joke you had said. Thing settled down after that. That is until you saw a set of swings in the distance. Atsumu caught you staring and grinned.

“I bet I can swing higher than ya.”

“You’re so on”

And with that the two of you took off, runnig towards the swing set, both of you bound and determined to win. You got on the swing and began to kick your legs with all your might to get higher than Atsumu, but curse his long legs, he was already higher than you. You gave a slight pout just working harder to get higher than him.

“It’s not fair your legs are longer than mine,” You whined with a pout. You continued to push yourself higher. You looked over and noticed your date was no longer next to you. Until a set of hands grab the swing chains right above yours. 

You leaned back enough to see Atsumu standing behind you, “Awe are you gonna push me/” You ask with a grin.

“Not if ya keep messing with me,” He said before pulling you back and pushing the swing forward, pushing you high up into the air. You squealed with laughed feeling the air around you. You felt like a little kid again, “Higher!” You yelled in the excitement, feeling Atsumu’s hands on your back as he pushes you. Eventually he slows down and you come back to the ground, your laughing and you look disheveled from the wind pushing against you but you look happy. And seeing you like that has Atsumu grinning just as much as you are.

You leaned back some to look up at Atsumu while he tilted his head down to look at you. Seeing the joy in your eyes brought him joy. He wanted to feel this type of happy forever. 

It was in that moment Atsumu made an impulsive decision.

He leaned down just enough for your lips to meet. It was a bit of an awkward angle but it was alright, you tasted of the meal you had had earlier and your lips were cool and chapped from the wind. But it worth it. You kissed back, and it was worth it. You two separated and you smiled.

“Don’t fall in love with me before this date is over.”

[i-m-b-a-s-i-c]

late night ★ ricky bowen

summary: you can’t sleep, so you decide to go on a walk and meet a cute stranger.

warnings: bad writing, fluff?? Idk

a/n: this is my first time writing anything like this, so feedback is much appreciated. (and sorry if this is bad) thanks!!!

Part 2

You stared up at your blank white ceiling, before turning onto your side and watching the seconds tick by on your gray wall clock. Just another sleepless night. You were feeling extra restless tonight. Maybe if you just did something you’d get tired. Well, it was worth a try.

Standing up, you faced a wall and started pacing back and forth, speeding up to a jog. Eventually you felt yourself starting to feel tired and fell back onto the bed. Your eyes fluttered closed and you felt your heartbeat slowing. Just as you began falling asleep, your eyes opened again. Nope, it was even worse now. You laid there for several minutes, staring at the door before finally sitting up in bed. You had to do something, anything.

Your eyes flickered across the room until they landed on the tree beside your window. Perfect. You looked down at your polka dot pajama pants and stain-covered t-shirt. First, you needed to change.

Minutes later, you were standing on your roof in a giant hoodie, jeans, and battered sneakers, examining the tree. Finally, you grabbed a branch and swung yourself towards the trunk. You sighed with relief when your legs wrapped around it and shuffled your way down the tree. As soon as your feet hit the ground, you pulled up your hood and started running down the sidewalk.

When you reached the local mall, you collapsed on a bench. You held your head in your hands as you breathed in the fresh air. You heard a voice from beside you, “You seem tired.”

Your head swiveled to your left and there sat a boy you hadn't noticed. He sat two feet away with his hands in his hoodie pockets. His brown curls were ruffled like he’d just gotten out of bed and his brown eyes twinkled with amusement. His mouth was relaxed in a playful smirk, “So what brings you to the mall at 1 am on a school night?”

“I could ask you the same question,”you murmured, keeping your hood on.

“Touché, well, can I have the honor of knowing your name?” he asked, his puppy brown eyes gleaming.

“Y/N, what’s yours?”

“Ricky. Now that we know each other’s names, can I ask why you’re here?”

“I couldn't sleep, what about you?”

“Just had to get my mind off a few things.”

You both sat in silence. It made you uncomfortable, but you tried to ignore it by fiddling with your hoodie strings. You could feel Ricky’s eyes on you, so you were glad your hoodie was still obstructing your face.

He coughed, startling you, “The city looks really nice at night, feels quieter.”

You looked up and nodded slowly. After a moment, he shifted his gaze to the sky and you took the opportunity to observe him.

His pretty brown eyes were framed with long, thick lashes. His skin wasn’t quite pale, with a pinkish hue. His pink lips were slightly chapped, but wet with his incessant licking. He was cute. And... familiar.

“Are you in my physics class?”

He turned back to you, surprised, and his eyes studied your face. “That’s where I know you from! I didn’t recognize you with the hood. Second row, third seat to the left.”

Your eyes widened and his face turned bright red, “Not that I watch you or anything because I definitely don’t. I just like observing people in my classes, so you’re not special.”

You watched him as he continued to ramble, “Not that you’re not special because you are! I just mean-”

You giggled, and he stopped talking, watching you laugh. “It’s okay, I get what you mean.”

He sighed in relief, “Great.”

You both looked away from the other, and you decided to focus on the stars. You never really noticed them, but tonight they seemed different, brighter somehow. You felt a cool breeze and took off your hood. It felt nice on your skin. You felt someone watching you and turned to Ricky. He was staring at you and turned bright red when you caught him. He turned away quickly. Suddenly, he blurted out, “Wanna do something fun?”

In hindsight, you probably should’ve said no. Going to a location you’d never been to with a guy you barely knew? Not the smartest idea. Despite this, you found yourself saying yes.

You walked along the sidewalk, side by side, retaining a comfortable distance. That is, until he announced you were going too slow and took your hand. He pulled you along underneath lampposts that made his eyes shine. Eventually, he stopped in front of an old apartment building, squeezing your hand before letting go. He lead you to the back of it, pulling down a fire-escape ladder. You stared at the ladder and asked, “Is this legal?”

“If you don’t get caught.”

“That’s not a good answer”

“What answer would make you feel better about doing it?”

You furrowed your brows, “Never mind. The less I know, the better.”

He checked the ladder to make sure it wouldn’t fall and stepped aside, “Ladies first.”

You rolled your eyes, “Thank you kind gentleman.”

He chuckled and you began your climb. Halfway up, you looked down to see him staring up at you. Well, a part of you. His cheeks reddened when you caught him and he looked down immediately. You laughed and continued your ascent.

When you came up, you saw a blanket spread out on the roof and looked behind you to Ricky clambering over the ledge. He stood up and chuckled, “I may come here sometimes.”

You looked at him weirdly, “What if it rains? Doesn’t your blanket get wet?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

You continued to look at him, thinking of many more questions when he said, “Whatever, just come on.”

You followed him to the blanket and he sat down, patting the spot next to him. Both of you laid down, side by side, and you stared up at the sky full of stars.

You both talked about everything and nothing. It felt nice talking to someone that didn’t really know you. Or, at least, that you didn’t really know. He propped himself up on his elbow, “I don’t know if this is weird or anything, but I thought you were cute when you walked into physics on the first day.”

You deadpanned, “I was late and tripped on my way to a desk.”

He laughed, “I know... it was cute.”

You felt your face heat up, “And now?”

“Ehhhh, you’ve downgraded.”

You smacked him in the arm and he held up his hands in surrender, “I’m just kidding, you’re still cute.”

You couldn’t stop grinning, “You’re cute too.”

He blushed, looking away and you found his hand, interlacing your fingers.

You both laid like that for a while, holding hands and smiling. That is, until you checked your phone. It was 3 am. “Ricky, I would love to stay here with you, but I’ve got to get home.”

“Shoot, you’re right. Can I walk you home?”

Before you realized, you were approaching your house with Ricky’s fingers loosely intertwined with yours. “This is me.”

He looked slightly disappointed, “So this is goodbye.”

You leaned over and gave his cheek a peck, his face burning as you pulled away, “I’ll see you tomorrow at Physic’s, you dork.”

You then turned around and ran to the tall tree near your window, trying to climb it without embarrassing yourself. Luckily, you made it to the window with relative ease and clambered inside. When you looked back out, Ricky was still standing there with his hand on his cheek, looking up at you. You gave him a small wave and he waved back excitedly. You watched him through the window as he walked away with a little skip.

[theymakemegayer]

Reputation: Chapter 8

Read chapter 1-7 HERE

a/n: prepare some tissues and hold your heart this was a rollercoaster of emotions!

Warning: Cursing/Profanities

(edit, sorry forgot to tag)

Taglist: @crazzyplays @riptideyun @baexpoppy @save-me-the-last-dance @somewillwin @dopeyouth

a short playlist: (kept on playing this while writing this chap)

This Love - Taylor Swift

Heather - Conan Gray

Falling - Harry Styles

Lose - NIKI

*=*=*=*=*=*=*

I woke up feeling like something was stuck on my chest making me numb inside. A huge cloud hang above me and my body refused to move out of the bed. My tears had dried off, while the pain was already engraved in my bones. Zoey barged in my room. I had no energy to master even a smile, I just waved at her. Her eyes were sad. I refused to look at it. Sadness only reminded me of the reality, and reality was I got too close to her despite Zoey's warnings.  I felt my bed dipped as Zoey lay beside me. Her soft eyes drifted on my face. I didn't spoke nor did she. I found calmness in this silence. 

 I felt Zoey moving an arm and wrapped on my waist, "I'm here for you, Bea." She whispered softly, breath tickling on my shoulder.

 I felt my eyes sting, like a dam broke, tears started to linger in my eyes.

 I crinkled my nose and clenched my jaws. I refused to cry. I refuse to embrace the pain I stupidly received for trusting her.

 Bea. Bea.

 I heard her voice in my head. I can still feel her touch. Just one damn night, yet she managed to carved hers into me.

 "Just let it out B," Zoey murmured.

 I seek for warmth. I seek for something - anything to fill the hole she dug in my chest. Zoey offered a shelter in her arms as the rain came pouring. My hand crumpled Zoey's shirt as I let these tears out once again. Maybe letting it out would finally ease the pain. Soothing hands rubbed my back, as the storm continued.

 As I calmed down, I withdrew from Zoey and looked into her eyes. She had a soft smile. It was somehow contagious making me smile even a little.

 "Thanks," I murmured.

 "Anytime," She patted my tear stained cheeks, "Wanna go out today?

 Desperate for distractions, I nodded.

 Later on, we were enjoying some ice cream for desserts in some ice cream parlor we stumbled in the mall. I left my phone at home, so I won't be tempted to look at the comments and to check if she-- never mind that useless thought.

 Zoey was a good help for distraction. Even though I still wasn't sure if my soul was still intact in me. Zoey made me feel good about myself today. Why can't I just have a crush on some normal people instead of--

 "I had to ask Bea," Zoey interrupted my thoughts, a small smile on her lips, "How was last night?"

 I was in the middle of having another scoop of ice cream. Her question made me stop mid air. I put down my spoon stifling a sigh. I wasn't ready for this question.

 "Oh, you know," I shrugged my shoulders, "I helped out humiliating Chloe by feeding Bradley some sugary words. We partied a bit after then I get home."

 Zoey looked at me carefully, "Nothing more happened?"

 I gave her a small smile. It seemed like it was the only smile I can do today. "Nothing," I paused scooping another ice cream, letting the sweetness of it mix with the bitterness of my next words, "I should have look for more dirt about her." My eyes drifted ahead of me, mind starting to get lost with a hundred of thoughts.

 I felt Zoey's warm hand on my arm. I looked at her, just as her eyes softened, "It's alright. We'll look for another way, but for now let's focus on our date."

 I smiled, "That's better."

 *=*=*

 Weekend came and the need to go to classes came too. I tried to act like everything was normal, but it wasn't. The laughter and stares I got wherever I go was like a dagger making my wounds bleed again. I had felt embarrassed before, but being humiliated almost wherever I go? It made me wish I wasn't Bea Hughes. And any site of a blonde hair made me fled immediately. I wasn't ready to see her anytime soon. I don't think I can handle it.

 I was walking towards my dorm room. I just finished my classes. I slowed down with my pace when I spot something in front of the door of my dorm room. 

 Is that a plant? My interest was piqued immediately. A smile immediately tugged on my lips. With all of the things I had been going through this past few days, I can almost feel some of the weight in my chest lifted up. Growing up in a farm, it was like love at first sight when I started helping my father in the farm. I felt a lot more at peace and myself whenever I was surrounded by plants.

 I power walked towards it, still wearing a smile. As I stood in front of it, I realized it was an Apple tree planted on a pot. A white card caught my attention too. It was tied on one of the stem. I plucked out the card and read the short note written.

  Didn't see you around campus today. Bummer. This little gift is for you, Bea. -P

  I scoffed, while my smile faded. How dare she give me gifts after what she did to me? I realized, of course she would do something like this. She would rub it on my face and grin at me, finding joy in knowing I perfectly fell on her trap.

 I crouched as I carry the potted plant inside; despite how I don't want to be reminded of her. A plant was still something close to my heart, so I would take care of this. Besides, this would definitely die if I gave it back to her.

 A week passed. My mind had been filled with self-loathing these past few days. My ‘what ifs’ were also piling up. If I hadn't trusted her... you see another what if. That's why I decided to go for a walk in a nearby park with Beppy - hoping it would lessen the burden I had been carrying.

 I sat on the grass, my back leaning on the tree behind me. It was a calm afternoon. The distant noises coming from the few people on the park were the only noises I can hear.

 I unleashed Beppy letting her run around me for a while. I sighed letting the fresh air fill me up. I held out the squeaky ball toy in front of Beppy. His tail started wagging.

 I giggled, "You want this?"

 His tail wagged furiously mouth ajar. I chuckled, "Fetch Beppy."

 I played with Beppy for a while. I let myself get lost with the bubble of happiness Beppy and I made. His gleaming eyes whenever he gave back the squeaky ball toy lifted a piece of burden from me.

 Moments later after I threw again the ball while Beppy was running back towards me he stopped somewhere not far from me. The ball in his mouth fell as he walked towards the tree or rather to someone. I raised my eyebrow. Who was that?

 "Wha--" Clueless I called for his attention, "Beppy!"

 Instead of looking at me he sat in front of the stranger - which I can't clearly see since the tree was hiding them from my view. I stood up and dusted my sweatpants. I strolled towards them.

 As I was nearing their place I heard a familiar voice, "Beppy where's your mom?"

 I halted in my step with my breath hitching. That voice. My eyes grew wide. I clenched my jaw as I feel my heart dropping to my stomach. Good Lord I am not ready for this. 

 My thoughts swarmed me. My limbs lost its strength to take the next step towards them. Like a joke - a really bad joke, Beppy spotted me and barked as if calling for me.

 I exhaled loudly, with my legs shaking I took my next step towards them.

 As I round the tree I finally spotted her. She was caressing Beppy's head affectionately, a soft smile on her lips. I felt my shoulder and jaw tensed as she looked up and met my eyes.

 "Farmsville." She said nonchalantly, but her eyes mirrored a different story. It was soft - almost yearning? I clenched my jaw as we stared at each other for a while.

 "I was waiting when you will show up," She spoke once again breaking the silence.

 "Are you finished catching up with Beppy? Can I take her now?" I asked in a monotone voice.

 She scoffed, "After you avoided me for a whole week, you're just gonna waltz out like that?"

 I crossed my arms protectively in front of me, "We have nothing to talk about. I don't want to waste my time with you again."

 "Oh so now I am a waste of your time? And did you just say again?!" She exclaimed in a high pitched tone, a frown deeply etched on her face as her eyes narrowed at me.

 "Yes." I spoke. My mask was completely intact not letting her saw any emotion on my face.

 "I don't get you Bea." She sighed suddenly looking... tired? Or was it sadness?

 I scoffed, burying those thoughts, "You really had the nerve to act clueless right now?" I exclaimed exasperated, "Listen to me closely Poppy," I gulped. Saying her name felt like I was burying the knife she planted in my chest deeper, "You won Poppy. You - fucking - won." I said through gritted teeth. "Is this your way of mocking me? Then go on. Laugh at me. I fell in your fucking trap." I hate how my eyes stings as I spitted out my words.

 "I cared for you. I believed in you. I fucking trusted you." I exclaimed quite loudly, a few passerby glancing at us. "And then what did you do?" My eyes started to blur with tears and I started to hate myself more at this moment. I hate looking weak in front of her. "You stabbed me in the back." I inhaled deeply, "Zoey warned me from you, but what did I do? I ignored her. I should have listened instead." Tears were slowly falling now. I wiped it harshly. She just blinked at me, mouth gaping.

 I laughed dryly, "Don't worry Poppy. In the first place, I didn't even want that stupid crown. Just stay away from me. I'll be out of your way and your life."

 I didn't wait for any reply or reaction from her. I walked towards Beppy and scooped him up. His eyes looked sad. I smiled at him despite the few tears that were still falling.

 I kissed his head and murmured, "I'll feel better soon Beppy, hopefully." 

 *=*=*

 It was a weekend. I just walked out from a clothing shop. After that encounter with her, I started to focus more on myself - just doing more of 'me time', and a continuous amount of mental and emotional self-check. I just rounded up a corner when I spotted Veronica. She was probably having another one of her live streams. Our eyes met. In an instant she frowned.

 I tried to ignore her. I continued walking not sparing her another glance. I was just tired of interacting to anyone that was related to her. 

 "Bea! Wait up!" Veronica suddenly called out.

 Sighing I halted with my steps. So much for avoiding any of them. I prepared my mind and emotions internally before I turned around and face Veronica.

 I plastered a smile as she walked up to me.

 "Can we talk?" She said once she was in front of me.

 "We're already talking aren't we?" I bit my tongue. My retort at her had so much bite than I intended.

 She raised an eyebrow. The usual composed Veronica seemed different today, maybe a little pissed off. Probably with the way I talked back at her... oops.

 "It's about Poppy." She said.

 I clenched my jaws, "Of course this is about her. Didn't I tell her to stay away from me already?

 She raised an eyebrow at me, "Okay, clearly I don't know about that specially with how close you both got--"

 I laughed dryly, cutting her off, "You mean her ploy that worked out cause now I'm Belvoir's number 1 clown?"

 "Look I don't know what's Poppy's plan or what's going on with her head, but she seemed weird and different after you two partnered up with that project. At first it was only small and little details I noticed, but--"

 I cut her off again, "Hold on. You're telling me you're actually very observant? I mean no offense, but with the time you spent on your phone I'm surprised."

 She laughed, "Poppy is still my friend, and I care for that bitch."

 "Good for her. I'm already done being mushy with her, so whatever this is you're trying to convince me with? I don't want to hear it." 

 Veronica sighed like her patience was starting to wear thin, "Alright. Just answer this one question then I'll leave you."

 "Fine," I grumbled.

 "What changed Bea? You sound like you really hate her now." Her eyes turned soft, all of a sudden. 

 It irked me. It was already one thing with Poppy backstabbing me and now this?! "Did Poppy send you to mock me on how stupid I was to actually trust her?" I glared at her my anger raging in me.

 She waved her hands frantically in front of her, "No," She shook her head. A sad smile painted on her lips, "So I guess that was your answer huh."

 I clenched my jaws. Stupid Bea. "Nothing changed. I'm just treating her the way I should have from the very start. That's my real answer."

 She was still smiling at me, "To be honest I don't know why I wanted to talk to you about Poppy. Something was really off about her now-a-days, and I felt like you were the reason."

 "Whether I am the reason or not, I don't care. She should deal with it. She brought this upon herself." I said through gritted teeth.

 Veronica looked at me, her eyes sad. I hate it. These past few days, I hate seeing or being reminded of sadness cause deep down my heart was hurting and feeling sad for what she did. 

 "I better leave Bea. Thanks for the talk." 

 I just nodded. She patted my shoulders and smiled at me before turning around and leaving. I sighed. The relaxation I was aiming for this afternoon all gone in a blink of an eye. And now I was left with the bitter pill called reality, that I was having a hard time swallowing. I was still hurting, and the most painful part? I actually missed her. 

 Later that night, I was left alone in the dorm. Zoey had some things to do and would be home late; being cooped up in the dorm alone made me feel like I was drowning with thoughts about her. I felt overwhelmed, that's why I decided to go out to and have dinner to this diner I found near the train station a few days ago. It made me felt nostalgic about my hometown - when everything was okay.

 I tend to miss so many things these past few days. It was like I'm continuously being pulled by my thoughts to different things or places, as well as people, like her. 

 I walked out from the diner. My hair and clothes probably smelled like greasy food for staying a bit too long inside, but my stomach felt full and my mood got better, after that encounter I had with Veronica this afternoon. Speaking of her, my thoughts wandered again towards Poppy. I had been having a hard time from even mentioning her name, for fuck's sake.

 I don't want to fret much about her anymore, but somehow and someway the way Veronica tried to talk to me about her- worry started to crept in me.

 Sometimes I felt like my encounter with her was a joke some mighty divine entity played on me. Just like now, as I was walking along the train station I spot a person sitting on one of the benches. Their beautiful, frilly pink dress would catch anyone's attention, but what really caught my attention was who she was and that she was crying.

 Poppy...

 I stopped dead in my tracks. My heart was pounding in my rib cage, and like bees I hear my thoughts buzzing in my mind - loud and persuasive. As if all the battles in my mind ceased, and a certain answer finally marched in victory, I numbly took my first step towards her. 

 I stood just right in front of her. Her hands were covering her face while her quiet sobs and her shoulders trembling broke her pretence. She wasn't alright and it broke my heart.

 "Poppy...?" I whispered her name. Cold wind breezed past us dishevelling her hair. I shiver at the coldness and so does she. Slowly she lifted her head. The little cracks in me broke more as I stare at her swollen red eyes. 

 A deep frown was etched on her face, "What?" Irritation and annoyance was evident on her voice.

 I gulped thickly, my mouth felt dried all of a sudden, "What are you doing here?" I spoke, my voice crisped - almost unrecognizable even for me.

 "None of your business Hughes," She gritted her teeth and stood up. Her eyes were the same level at me as she stared at me. Like a soft whisper through the quiet night, softness flashed in her eyes quickly. I almost wasn't sure if it was for real, but the way my heart was pounding, shut down all the noises in my head.

 She averted her eyes and I realized she was about to leave. My chest ached once again. My hands reached for her even before I realized what I was doing, holding her wrist gently. "Don't go," I whispered. I noticed how her jaw and shoulders tensed.

 I felt the cracks in me; they were bruised and wounded, by this same person I was asking to stay. I was still hurting, but so does she. And Poppy... she almost never cries.

 Just one last time. One last time that I was going to care for her. One last time I would listen to my heart.

 She turned around and when I met her eyes - her brown teary eyes - my mind finally made up. I would be here for her, one last time.

 Like walls crumbling down, I watched as she crossed the distance between us and hugged me. Her perfume wafted my senses and her warmth filled up the cracks in me. I didn't realize that there were tears streaming down on my face already. I missed her.

 I sniffed quietly. Sadly, I still need to be on my guard no matter how much I was yearning for this. 

 Heavy rain started to pour as she started to cry. Her sobbed were muffled by the rain. Yet I still heard her loud and clear. A sudden urge to shelter her from her own storm on her mind arose to me. I tightened my hug and caressed her head.

 The rain hadn't stopped yet, but her tears started to calm down. She withdrew from me and wiped her tears. Before I can even think what I was doing I reached out and wiped her tears with the sleeves of my jacket.

 She suddenly grimaced, "Eww. Where have you been? Why does your jacket smells like that?"

 I rolled my eyes, "And yet you weren't complaining moments ago. As if you forget you were hugging me a while ago."

 I thought she would retort back just like always, but instead she just pouted. My heart pounded wildly at the cute gesture.

 I sighed trying to mask how she left me flustered. I sat on the bench and patted the space beside me, "Wanna talk about it?"

 She sighed and relented, sitting beside me, leaving minimal space between us. I gulped at her close proximity. A cold breeze past again, she shivered and started rubbing her arms. I took off my jacket and draped it on her.

 She halted and looked at me with wide eyes, before a soft smile painted her lips, "Thanks Bea." She mumbled softly.

 I tried so hard not to get affected, by that simple gesture, but my heart was already melting. I cleared my throat, changing the topic, "So... what happened to you?"

 She avoided eye contact, "Today, my parents finally introduced me as the heiress of my father's business." She looked at up at the cloudy dark sky. The rain was relentless and so does the cold breeze passing by once in a while. 

 "That's a good news right?"

 "It was," I saw a faint smile from her before it dropped, "Until my father started to be his usual self." She chuckled dryly. "I thought I can ignore his words just like I always do, but today was an important day for me. And I failed to impress him, again." 

 There was a pause I waited for her to continue. She inhaled deeply and sighed loudly, "You didn't improve Poppy. You're still a disappointment. That's what he said to me."

 When she looked at me again another batch of tears were streaming down her face. She had a broken smile, "That was bullshit. His business clients and partners were happy to meet me. I should have known he won't be impressed no matter what I did."

 I gulped thickly. I choked with my own emotions raging inside of me. I had never seen her, this broken.

 I smiled softly at her and lay my hand on hers, "I don't believe a single word he said. You always do your best. He's blind if he can't see that."

 "He probably is," She smiled softly albeit a little. "I should be really used by now with how he treats me, but I still get disappointed every damn time." 

 "You know what?" I squeezed her hand in mine, "Screw your dad! Let's do something fun instead." I grinned.

 She raised an eyebrow. An excited gleam in her eyes and a grin on her lips, "What's on your mind?" 

 I looked around us. I think it was twelve midnight already or way passed that, and the rain was still pouring. The train station and its surroundings were pretty much deserted.

 I stood up pulling Poppy with me. I grinned, "Care to dance with me?"

 She huffed out a laugh, "You've gone nuts!" 

 "Probably, but look around us. It's raining and there's no one else around. It's the perfect opportunity to enjoy the rain Poppy!" I exclaimed as the warmth and happiness that I had been missing for the past week came crushing on my insides.

 She laughed - a genuine and soft one. "I am probably going nuts too." She shook her head. Her eyes gleamed and a wide smile was on her lips, "Let's dance Bea!"

 She pulled me out of the shelter of the waiting area of the train station. My jacket falling from her shoulders as we run on the middle of the deserted street. The rain was pouring and it felt cold on my skin, but with Poppy in front of me, laughing and smiling - guiding me into a music free dance, I feel warm.

 She gasped as the rain hit her skin, "It's so cold!" She exclaimed, but the smile on her lips never faltered.

 She pulled me close wrapping her arms around my neck as our foreheads touched. I wrapped my arms around her waist as we swayed. I guess we didn't need music at all when the rain felt like it was serenading us. 

 She giggled as our nose touched. Our wide grins turned into soft smiles. Her breath tickled my lips as she sighed.

 "Bea..." She murmured. 

 It was like an enchantment, all I can hear was my heart screaming for her name. I closed the distance between us and kissed her. My breath hitched.  As if she was the oasis on my dessert. It gave me life. It filled up the cracks inside of me. Her lips moved - claiming me softly. Her hands caressed my nape raising goose bumps in their wake. 

 I gasped for air as I withdrew first, "Poppy..." I murmured.

 She pecked my lips, "Thank you Bea," And smiled brightly as her eyes gleamed.

 I grinned, "Glad to see that smile returns."

 "This was nice, but I think we both need to leave before we catch a cold." 

 We hailed a cab going back to Belvoire. My jacket was on Poppy's lap. We threw secretive glances towards each other once in a while. The smile on my lips never faltered and a comfortable silence wrapped us along with the murmurs of the radio inside the cab. It felt normal and I felt happy once again.

 As we get out from the cab, the first thing I saw was the Zeta house and just like that reality crashed my bubble of happiness. The smile on my lips dropped. The weight on my chest intensified. As the cab leave, I turned to Poppy she was looking at me with a soft smile.

 I pressed my lips into a thin line. She noticed my expression and the smile on her face dropped, "Oh..." She sighed before laughing dryly, "Of course." She bit her lip like she was stopping herself for spitting out more words. "I better go inside." Her voice was nonchalant as if her mask was back again. 

 "Yeah," I said curtly.

 She clenched her jaw, "Fine." She turned around abruptly and speed walk inside the Zeta House.

 Everything in me tensed - my hands, my jaws and my chest. I wanted to say more, but I bit my tongue. Tonight was the last time. I kept chanting those words on my mind as I watched her walking away from me.

[theobxhummingbird]

WHO YOUR LIPS KISSED. -JJ MAYBANK X READER

Summary: A letter to JJ, makes him understand what he lost and what he’ll mostly regret.

A/N: Here’s another JJ x Reader I wrote. It’s emotional...too emotional.

The tip of her shoes, hit the wooden doorstep. Her shaking hand refuses to form a fist and knock on the door; a white envelope squeezed in it. Rather, she kneels down, and leaves it on the doorstep. Taking a last look, at the place of many wonderful, and many miserable moments, her back turns to the small house. As if she's held by chains, her steps are slow and heavy, somehow the house keeping her from leaving. Her head unglued from the ground, coming face to face with her blonde friend, who's been waiting for her next to the old Volkswagen. -It was for the both of your best. -said Sarah, rubbing her back. Y/N's feet were glued to the dusty ground, keeping her from making any other move. She knew that her step out of the Chateau, was another step to ending everything; to killing the Y/N she became long time ago. There were no tears in her eyes; all of them wasted too many nights. Her look turned to Sarah, getting a short, sad smile from her, gesturing Y/N to walk out of the place. She followed; she followed with a heavy heart. Maybe, it wasn't something she looked up to when expressing her feelings and leading the relationship with her heart, absolutely ignoring her brain, but it was something she expected to come one day. Sarah was there with her, to give any support at any time; promising not to tell John B anything. Y/N's house came in sight. Giving a hug to Sarah, and thanking her for being there, she unlocked the door, to reveal her mother, laid on the couch. -Hi. -she said softly, barely any sound coming out of her mouth. Bruised eyes, white and chapped lips and a pale face. She's been battling them for years and the clock was ticking on the wall. The remaining time, marked on the calendar. -Hi, mum, how are you feeling today?- she knelt next to her, fixing the blanket and pulling it up closer to her chin. -Better...and a bit cold. -I'll turn on the heating now, wait. -she jumped from the position and turned the heating, taking off her jacket and placing it on the chair. The house was cold and she had to do something to warm her mother, so a soup was the first thing that came to her head. Proceeding through the cabinets, to find the right pot, she filled it with water and made her mother the soup she's been making her when sick, since childhood. Putting a bowl of soup and a spoon, and also cutting half a lemon; Y/N brought everything on a tray to the living room. -Look at you...you'll take care of me like I did when you were young. -Yes. And it always made me better, that's why I'll give it a try now and take your place for a bit, so you could feel better. -said Y/N, fixing her mum's positing, so she's leaned on the pillow. -You did a great job on the soup, butterfly. -said her mum, slurping the soup, Y/N gave to her. -But, you don't have to feed me, I can do it myself. -I'll put some lemon as well. -she took the lemon, and squeezed it with the spoon. -Where were you? -I-I went with Sarah, she needed to get something done. -I thought-Y/N cut in with another spoon of soup. -Let's not talk while you're eating, it's a rule you used to always tell me. -Okay then. After her mother finished her soup, and fell asleep, Y/N sat at the table with a cup of tea in front of her. The small window that overlooked at their garden was too interesting to her. Her eyes moved with the design on the curtain; totally lost in her thoughts. The white papers were on the other side of the table, reminding her of the amounts of time she crumbled them and threw them away, before getting the right words on them. It was a painful moment of freedom and curiosity. Curiosity, because she wanted to know, why'd she have to be the one to write such a letter, to the person she'd barely every put herself in a position of letting go? She craved an answer, but couldn't find it.

John B and JJ fell asleep at the Chateau; worn out of the surfing and swimming the Pogues did that day. Kie and Pope were home. And even though Kie and Y/N were close friends, she only chose Sarah to come with her and be aware of what's going on; knowing she's the only one that won't hint it to the others. But, Kie, Pope and John B weren't the only ones that didn't know; JJ took the letter in confusion, getting excited at the name of his beloved girl. -What's that? -said John B, peeking over JJ's shoulder and sitting on one of the porch couches. -It's from Y/N, she wrote me a letter I guess. -said JJ, taking a seat opposite John B. He ripped the envelope open and took the folded piece of paper. There was a lot of writing:

" Dear JJ, the days folded into a whole year. A whole year, of many moments together. And as every day ended, my happiness and joy grew bigger, knowing I'll see you the next and then the next. At the start, everything went in a way I didn't even think of. You made me feel like the most loved person in the world and gave me more attention and time than I deserved. I was thankful; thankful for the things you did for me. I prayed the whole journey, for our relationship to last as it started; full of adventures together and days I'll never forget. You told me you loved me every day and how thankful you were to have me in your life. You looked at me with adornment in your eyes. And, when you thought I was asleep, while you muttered beautiful words to me, I was quietly listening to you; taking in every word and hiding it in my heart. But...just as I thought we'd form a forever, as every day ended, I was full of pain, instead of happiness and joy. You weren't there to treat my wounds; they crusted with your absence. The place on my bed was cold and dry; telling me the lack of your presence. Instead, it was full of tears; puddles of tears. Every night, I was thinking about who your heart started to love and also thought about asking you; but I had no strength to do it. It was never enough of what I told you for me; I had a person slowly fading in my life and didn't want to have another one, so I kept you next to me. I counted the stranger's scent on your clothes, messy hair, all the notes of numbers in your pockets, as my own blindness. And had no bravery to ask you who your lips kissed, praying it was only me. From those moments, I knew nothing was enough; your many kisses shortened, as well as your time spent with me; your hugs were long gone; but mostly you...I hadn't had enough of you. And let me answer all your questions. When you asked me why I distanced myself sometimes; it was because I knew why your excitement to see me, was expressed by cuddling me and kissing me. Also, when you asked me why I didn't return to your calls; it was because of the amounts of times I called before, that your phone was busy. And even if there was someone, I counted them as no one, hoping there's really no one that could get your phone too busy, as well as your room at John B's. So, please don't make me tired anymore, JJ. The amounts of times I fell and got up, this time I'm stuck to the ground and can't breathe anymore. I know you can't relate to me right now, and don't pity your feelings...I'll count them as nothing. But...I'll always count my love for you. I ignored all your mistakes, rough words and craziness, willingly. And those abysses I went to blindly, I'll ignore them too, as well as a whole wasted year. But please, for god's sake, don't create me more pain. Let the both of us go our own ways, because this doesn't work when we're together. I'll still remain the Y/N you met that day, and remember me as her, please. If you want to crumble and throw away this letter; do it. But know that all the words will stay in your head. Thank you for your time and love. And please don't come to my house...please. See you someday in the future. Sincerely, Y/N Y/L/N." The letter landed on the wooden floor of the porch, followed by a few tears. John B was confusingly looking at his friend, -What happened, dude? -It-it's over, John B. Y/N and I...we're no more. John B picked up the letter, his eyes moving through the rows of words. His face dropped from shock; eyes widened at his broken friend. -What happened to her? She seemed so happy yesterday. -She faked it. The whole time, she faked it. Y/N wasn't happy, she just didn't hint her pain to me. JJ walked back and forth, the floor squeaking under his feet. His hands were tightly tugging his blonde hair, as hot tears rolled down his face, -I messed up everything...I lost Y/N. -JJ...-John B was speechless, calling Y/N's number, but there was no answer. JJ's figure still couldn't shake off the stress and shock; just tears fallind down his face. He curled up in a ball on the floor, crying in his knees and swinging back and forth.

It passed a whole month of their absence at John B's; neither JJ was coming to ride with the Pogues of the HMS Pogue. Y/N normally worked in her life, taking care of her mother. There was no space for crying or closing herself in her room. Pope came a few times to visit her at work; feeling the need to be there for his friend, even though he knew her less than he knew JJ. Kie tried to take her out in town and distract her from the sadness, but it just didn't work; Sarah had the ability to do that more than Kie. Since, even though she didn't know it, Y/N couldn't have Kie next to her, knowing the big crush JJ had on her. It wasn't Kie's fault, Y/N just couldn't get distracted from her pain by talking to Kie. But one day, she came for something else. -Here's your invitation to my birthday party. -said Kie, sliding the invitation Y/N's way, -I'm looking forward to seeing you at the Wreck. -I'll try to come, Kie. -Okay, but try please. See you then, bye. With that, she left Y/N's work place. That happy and loved by everybody, Kiara Carrera. Sometimes she understood why JJ still might have a crush on her; the girl was smart and pretty.

The day of Kie's birthday came and Y/N was busy with taking care of her mother, when someone knocked on the door. -Are you read- said Sarah, looking at Y/N, who was dressed in sweatpants, a t-shirt and her hair up in a messy bun. -When are you going to get ready? -For what? Ow, it was Kie's birthday, wasn't it? I can't come, Sarah. -said Y/N, keeping the door as close to her as possible, so Sarah doesn't take a peek inside. -Y/N you bought a present and said you'll come. Come on. You can avoid JJ all night if you want to, but Kie's our friend. -Fine...then I'll go and get ready, you, stay here, outside, please. Sarah was confused of why'd she rushed so much about her staying outside, by closing the door and the curtain of the living room window. She followed her friend's words and waited at the porch, observing the flowers Y/N took care of, even though she worked too hard. But, when she heard a voice from inside, calling for help, she swung open the door. A woman was laid on the floor, trying to reach for the coffee table for support. -Aunt, wait. -she said, jogging her way and slowly lifting her up. Sarah placed Y/N's mum on the couch and threw the blanket over her body, -Did you want something? -Just a glass of water. -Here. -Sarah handed her a glass full of water Y/N had placed on the coffee table. -Mum, I'll go to Kie's birthday and get back immediately, please sleep a bit, before I...- said Y/N, walking in the living room and stopping when Sarah's worried face comes in her sight, -come back. -Okay butterfly, don't worry about me. Enjoy the party.

Sarah was quiet the whole walk to Kie's birthday, as well as Y/N. She knew Sarah wanted to ask her everything and could explode of curiosity in any minute, so she decided to tell her what's going on in her life, that she doesn't know about. And why'd she never let them come to her house, when her mother wasn't at the hospital. -My mum's sick, Sarah. That's why I made you stay at the porch while I get ready. And I'm sorry I didn't tell any of you about my mum's sickness. -Y/N why? We would've helped you, you know that. -Yes, because I knew that, and that’s why I didn't tell you. My mum and I are no one's worry. And whatever I had to do about her getting well, I was going to do it alone. -I'm sorry Y/N. -Sarah gave her a side hug and the both of them entered the Wreck. They hugged Kie, giving her the presents.

It was a big party, with many people from her dad's business and a lot of the Kooks. Sarah sometimes excused herself, to go to John B. Even Y/N made her go, feeling uncomfortable to have her be at the table, when she could spend some time with her boyfriend. Y/N was now alone at the table and at her unluckiness, Rafe, Topper and Kelce stood around her table. -Why are you alone? -said Topper, and evil smile spreading on his face. -Sarah went to John B a bit, I'm waiting for her. Plus, loneliness makes me feel better. -she gave the three of them a polite smile. Their evil smirks, softed into sad smiles; there was no harm in her and would resist to create any to her. Somehow, those three, who are known to hit on girls at parties, quietly walked away from her table. Her eyes looked around the room and glanced at the well-known blonde. He was already looking at her. His figure turned towards her and unknowingly his feet brought him to her table. -Hi. -he said awkwardly. -Hi. -How are you? -I'm okay, how are you? -I'm doing fine. Y/N speechlessly nodded her head and played with the decorations, just to avoid any eye contact with JJ. -Haven't seen you in a long time... -Yes, it's been...uh...a long- -One month, Y/N...I counted. -One month? -she acted as if she's not aware of the number. JJ nodded, his face falling into a thousand pieces. -I don't know; didn't really have the time to count. -I did. I sat down and counted every second even. -Please...it's Kie's birthday. -I'll say what's in my heart and go, Y/N. -Don't! -she raised her voice a bit, -You don't have to. There's no words left in me, so I can't respond to it...please. Just when she was about to walk away from the table, her phone rang. It was an unknown number. -Hello?...Yes, that's me...What? I'm coming now. Her shaking hands put the phone in her pocket. Taking her bag, she rushed her way out the Wreck, trying to find a taxi that might pass next to the restaurant. Tears were streaming down her face. -Hop in the car. -said JJ, going around the jeep and sitting at the driver's seat. If she wasn't in a rush, she wouldn't even step in it, but it was the only choice she had at the moment. -Where are we going? -To the hospital. Please, be fast. -she said, playing with her hands and looking at the time.

-Mum?...-she said, putting her hand on the glass; her mum's sleeping figure on the other side of it. -I'm sorry....mum. -She called the hospital somehow, but when the team came she was on the floor. -said the doctor from behind Y/N. JJ had no idea what was going on. He looked at Y/N, the doctor and the person laying on the hospital bed with full confusion. -Don't worry. The sickness is getting to minimal amounts and as her body's fighting against it, she can't take too much, so she faints. It'll happen, but really, don't worry. Settle her on the bed and when she opens her eyes, a glass of water's enough. I hope she'll get better soon. -Thank you doctor. -said Y/N shaking hands with him. She sat down on the chair, rubbing her face. -I didn't know your mother was- -Because I didn't tell you,JJ. The name rang in his head. It was different when she told it and he's been missing her voice for a whole month. -I'm sorry. -It's fine... -she said and got up, to see her mother.

It's been a whole week from Kie's birthday and everyone came to visit Y/N's mum. She felt so uncomfortable having each of them appear at her house. That was also the reason why she never told them about her mother's sickness. Her mother though, got better. She started to heal from her sickness, and her face got a different tint of life. She was now able to walk, work in the garden and house, without too much tiring. -Who brought these? -said Y/N, looking at the presents on the table. -JJ brought them. -said her mother, washing the dishes in the kitchen. -There's a letter for you inside one of them. Y/N proceeded through the bags, taking out an envelope with her and JJ's name on it.

"Dear Y/N, you wrote me a letter and I guess it's up to me now. I've never written a letter to anyone, so I won't have the same word style as you. Also, I'll be very direct. I love you, Y/N, even though it now seems so fake to you; I love you...so much. I've been thinking about you since the day I got the letter. The only way you'll get to hear my sorry is through this letter...so I'm sorry...and I know it sounds so raw and dry, but I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. In my life, I never had someone who cared about me and I thought you'll leave like everyone else. So, the only escape from your constant love was spending time with other girls, even though I still had you in mind while kissing them. And, whenever I looked at their faces and realized it's not you and they can never be you, I excitedly walked to you, knowing your warmth and love. I remembered it; Y/N's warmth could never be replaced. I messed up my life, my whole life and have no idea how to fix it. A few days after you left the letter, drinking was the only escape from the pain. But, when one night I drank too much, your words came to my head: "Drinking is never a solution." And I stopped; throwing the glass bottle on the grass, shattering it to pieces. This wasn't the JJ that changed because of you; this wasn't the JJ you loved. This was JJ that tried to escape from life. Losing both you and now my friends. John B doesn't talk to me, because I started drinking and smoking badly. Pope hasn't been at the Chateau for a long time. Kie has her own life. Sarah didn't even talk to me long before you left the letter; now I understand why. And you...you are long gone from my life.

I'm going Y/N. Finally leaving the Outer Banks. I guess this is the only escape that's right, rather than kissing girls because I'm too in love with my girl. And like you always say: "Cheating has no reasons." You're right. I have the whole fault. And I can't do anything about it. So, leaving is the only option. I respect whatever you decide in your life. Know that I'm deadly in love with you and I'll always be. See you in the future, princess. You have my heart, always.

I love you, JJ"

Without thinking twice, she was out the door. Running as fast as possible, to reach JJ before he goes away forever, she arrived at the dock. He was loading the boat and untying the rope. -Wait! -she yelled behind him. Her feet hit the wet grass and made their way to JJ. His surprised look turned to the familiar voice, and just when he was about to say anything, Y/N ran and connected her lips to his. Everything, from her anger to her pain and love, was relieved into the deep kiss. Her hands were tightly cupping his face, as his arms hugged her body closer to his. Longing for both of each other's touch, Y/N nuzzled her nose in the crook of his neck, taking in the scent of JJ; that salt water and sunscreen mix. She relaxed at his smell, feeling the heat of the sun that warmed his body all day. -Don't you ever make me relive every moment that had you escape from me, ever. -she said, squeezing his body. -I'll never do that, ever again, I promise you Y/N. I love you so much, princess. -Please, don't leave. -I won't. I'll stay with you forever. -I love you, JJ Maybank. -I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. Carved on a piece of wood was a sentence: "All the ways, lead to you."