#yes i like all burt’s girly movies what are you gonna do?? stab me??

[lesbiancolumbo]

continuing the burt talk: top five non-SSOS burt roles??

HELLO! this list might cause controversy in the burt community (???) because guys. i do not like westerns. i do not like burt’s westerns. please stop making me watch them. i’m tired.

5. steve thompson, criss cross

guys it’s CRISS CROSS. i’ve already made so many people mad by preferring this to the killers. allow me to double down.... guys, criss cross is good and burt is fantastic in it. what i like about this film is he gets more to do and he has that brutal fucking ending, which plays out mostly on his pretty face. maybe i’m just a sucker for that face but him realizing he’s been double crossed (once again!) by the woman he loves and he just says, in this tone of voice, well i’ll know better next time... knowing damn well there won’t be a next time.... it just gets to me.

4. doc delaney, come back little sheba

okay now i know this is an even more controversial choice but once again hear me out: this is a good movie. burt got so much shit for doing this movie, that he was way too young and wrong for the part, blah blah blah. maybe! maybe he was, and he took this part because this was around the time in his career when he was really smarting from his romantic rival marlon brando getting streetcar and wanted to do more plays and such, but i actually really like the work he does here. he anchors shirley booth’s performance really well, and for me i always saw his spin on it as not being too young for the part but instead a younger man who got involved with an older woman and is dealing with/mourning the sacrifices and choices that came with that. it still works! i don’t care!

3. john malcolm, separate tables

y’all: sydney shut UP about separate tables

me: no

look, only one half of this movie is good and that half is the burt lancaster and rita hayworth half. i would die for john malcolm and ann shankland. i love their storyline because in my heart of hearts i am obsessed with people who were in love once, a long time ago, and it ended (badly or not) and then they meet years later and realize that maybe they’re not good for each other, but those feelings are still there anyway and they’re enough to give it another go. i just love that. i just think burt is good at playing this man who is obviously suffering and tormented by their past relationship (and what he did) and just endlessly in love with this woman he can’t forget no matter how hard he tries!

2. mike ribble, trapeze

TRAPEZE HIVE

this movie is a masterpiece and low key one of burt’s best roles. why?? because his first love was the circus and he is doing all of those fucking stunts himself! his first wife and her sister used to do the trapeze stunts mike and tino do in this movie. it’s very personal for him. i think i’m just ultimately interested in burt as a broken man because that’s once again what he is here, but this movie is like the best of both worlds bc it’s the dramatic range combined with his amazing physical stunts he became known for when he did the flame and the arrow and crimson pirate. also, this is the film that walked so ssos could run - tony begged burt to cast him in the latter and it was only because they’d did the former together (and became really good friends - look for my story about tony climbing up burt’s balcony every night) that he was able to vouch for him. they’re a good team! this movie is fun and colorful and a treat to watch!

1. ned merrill, the swimmer

guysssss the swimmer. THE swimmer. i think this is burt’s best role period. he thought it was his best film, which makes me cry sometimes. i just... it is so strange and surreal, such a mesmerizing performance. the swimmer is truly like a film about class critique and the suburbs and depression and peppering in some gay subtext and voila, you’ve got a fucking movie baby. burt spends the entire movie in swim trunks. he was in his 60s. he LEARNED TO SWIM to make this movie (he was a natural athlete and could do almost everything but swim, which terrified him).

why did he do this??? because he wanted to do it. i think i know why, though i won’t speak for him. but he wanted to do it so badly and i just think it’s an incredible physical performance from a man KNOWN for his brute physicality.