#yes i know grif wasn't happy

[snails-in-spaceships]

HEY ROOSTER TEETH? WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY ABOUT SPLITTING UP FOUND FAMILY?

[rvb-canon-grimmons]

RVB RESTORATION THOUGHTS!!!!

LONG POST IM SO SORRY I HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS

(Im so sorry this got so long, but i got emotional while writing it so please bear with me, read this like its the morning paper while u eat breakfast or something i have alot to say)

Before I go into the things I didn't like I do want to focus on some positives.

-Like I said in an earlier post, Geoff's acting…he absolutely killed it, and maybe this is because I'm a little bit Geoff/Grif biased but he was giving so much emotion and everyone else felt a little bit flat. Also only he could have delivered the "Come with me" line with so much Homoeroticism -I Had a pretty fun time watching the fight in the second half, The references to Monty we're sweet and getting to see Tex and Carolina fight together was pretty epic! -A good handful of jokes got me good. "23rd in my class" Shelia translating Caboose's Spanish to Lopez

Ok……. the next bit of this will get a little bit negative, but I do want to say this is coming from a place of deep love and care for this series. I have run this blog for like 6/7 years now and I've been a fan of this show for double that. My biggest fear is that fans get the same treatment we did when no one liked RVBZero. I have criticisms. This is a 21 year old series that so many people have had a part in and so many have loved. I was not looking for perfection, I wasn't even looking for something good. I was looking for an ending to the stories of characters people have held in their hearts for 21 years. Unfortunately, what I feel we were left with was a hastily thrown together hour of basically nothing.

-Why weren't they friends…..Why weren't they friends…No one cared for the others. I understand that we have semi warped perceptions of the characters from fanon works and things of that nature. But even in canon, the reds and blue care about each other. On their own team and the other team. Simmons, Grif, Tucker, and Caboose spent MONTHS together in chorus and same for Donut/Sarge/Wash. I've recently rewatched blood gulch and Caboose and Sarge have a great dynamic! Tucker and Grif canonically get along pretty well. Simmons was ON BLUE TEAM for like a hot minute there. THEY KNOW EACH OTHER AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. This was zero percent present in this film. No one had any motivation to look for Tucker. No one cared that it was Tuckers body inside the suit. THE REDS LEFT CABOOSE FOR DEAD!!!!!! THEY JUST LEFT HIM!!!!

-Tucker, I'm so sorry baby girl, this was supposed to be your arc, your moment. You were hardly in it. No build up to how he became the Meta. The scene where he breaks out of it to not kill caboose was the best part of the arc. And he just wakes up and remembers it "like someone elses Nightmare??" ok sure

-Wash………………WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????? WHAT THE FUCK??????? WHAT THE FUCK???? TO RUIN THIS MANS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC BY MAKING HIM COMPLETELY OBSOLETE. PUTTING HIM IN SOME RANDOM HOSPITAL FOR AN UNKNOWN INJURY THAT HAPPENS OFF SCREEN AND ISN'T EXPLAINED. HAVE HIM HALUCINATING DOC FOR SOME FUCKING REASON. HAVE HIM SHOW UP TO THE FINAL BATTLE AND DO ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING BUT JUMP OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND NOT SAY A WORD TO ANY OF THE RED AND BLUES I AM LIERALLY ABOUT TO FUCKING CRY TYPING THIS I AM LITERALLY SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. AGENT WASHINGTON, THE CHARACTER THAT WAS SO HAPPY IN THE SEASON RIGHT BEFORE CHORUS JUST TO BE ON BLUE TEAM AND HAVE A FUCKING FAMILY AGAIN. JUST SIDELINE HIM FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND THEN NOT LET HIM SPEAK TO ANY OF HIS FRIENDS EXCEPT CAROLINA AND DEAD DOC. AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT TUCKER BEING THE META WAS LITERALLY A PLOT POINT CATERED TO HAVE WASH BE INVOLVED. THIS IS LIKE AGENT WASHINGTON ANGST BAIT 101. YES IM A TUCKINGTON SHIPPER BUT PUT ALL SHIPPING ASIDE, THEY WERE STILL FRIENDS, THEY WERE FRIENDS THEY WERE FRIENDS.

Grimmons. I am disappointed. But really not surprised. Honestly for everything I disliked I thought Grimmons was handled ok… at this point im like….. they couldn't even throw us a bone. company was dying, final season airing, and they couldn't even throw us a solid Grimmons queerbait joke. Its whatever….I don't wanna get too upset about shipping because at the end of the day, ships becoming canon isn't what shipping is all about (says Tumblr user "RVB-Canon-Grimmons) you get what im saying.

-Donut…..where was he…..Fucking Homophobic honestly

-DOC IS DEAD?????????????????????????????? FUCKING WHY???

-Sarge's death was fine, I'm not upset by it I just didn't feel like it was emotionally satisfying. Especially after the shock of them leaving Caboose and the much better scene of tucker fighting the meta's control over him to not hurt caboose.

-PEOPLE CALLED U SIR ALL THROUGHOUT CHORUS SIMMONS WHAT THE FUCK??????????? WHY IS SIMMONS PROMOTED AND INCHARGE OF NO ONE???? WHY DID GRIF LEAVE HIM???

Im sorry………..this is so long………just remeber this is only my opinions and if u don't agree thats totally ok!!!!! I am just a critical bitch….

[bloodgulchblog]

Okay okay okay okay. I will dump a list of thoughts and feelings here:

good god rvb get better jokes, a couple were still pretty good but woof. the "you guys are so predictable i could leave a prerecorded message" bit was incredibly stale and i felt like the zoom call joke went on for 15 years.

red team's interactions in the early part of this while sarge is still there are so rote, man.

yes caboose's voice is different, i was curious about how they were going to handle that. (there was a falling out with the old guy, i mostly just know he said some shit during the george floyd protests but looking it up it sounds like something had happened earlier and he'd been laid off in 2019.)

fascinated that sarge's death stuck, but i've always thought grif and simmons without sarge was interesting, so. why not. i feel like with red team especially here, the whole point is that life moves on? this is very much a "you grow up and move on from the things you loved when you were young" kind of story and sarge is one of the most big goofy cartoon parts of the show, so ending him and having grif and simmons figure out how to move on from him has meaning i guess. the older people who shaped your world inevitably pass out of it. not to give rvb too much credit, but hey.

poor tucker, but i still think maybe having an incredibly angsty unexplored subplot might be better than having to spend 2 seasons having all his character growth dissolved away in favor of absent father jokes and whatever the fuck all that shit was in 16

live commentary on the whole thing with red team acting like they were abandoning caboose and then coming back to help him:

also this:

simmons you poor nerd i'm sorry it took all the way to here to give you anything, wasn't expecting this to be a good season for simmons of all people but at least he got something.

THE REAL CURVEBALL WAS I NEVER EXPECTED THEM TO GET KATHLEEN ZUELCH TO REPRISE TEX EVER AGAIN, i was going to make a crack about how tex getting a better ending would've never been on my bingo card in a billion years but i'm actually not sure this counts because i never cared about chex enough to think about it that hard. raincheck.

tex protecting carolina is nothing but it's also everything.

i'm stupid and missed that doc was dead for a while holy shit that's actually really sad and on the one hand oof, but on the other hand i love really sad things. fuck.

restoration donut only coming back for one last stupid fucking gay joke in an aside vs season 17 centering donut and how he was always such a neglected character. hmm. hmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmm.

it's sad wash wasn't there more, but i really did love "wash throws himself off a cliff to intentionally injure himself and summon carolina instead of contacting her in a more normal way" for him.

and i love that if something bad happens to wash carolina will come down on whatever it is like a hammer from orbit. at the very least, it made me so happy to have it reinforced one last time how much those two mean to one another before the end. after everything i enjoy a moment of them being okay.

overall i do think the group splitting up in pieces feels better to me than them all living together in a big weird codependent cluster forever, it feels like a braver and more true ending, but it's one of those things where season 17 was so much better at thinking about the inner lives of a bunch of characters that it's hard for me to say this is clearly better without reservation in all areas. like, sometimes people matter to you intensely for a big chunk of your life but then you have to move on. and fuck, maybe that's not even forever, but i feel good about grif getting to finally go home and i feel good about grif and simmons saying goodbye to one another and trying to be normal about it. let them have some space from one another. they need space to decide who they are with this part of their lives being over.

nothing they did here can stop me from shipping that and i can very easily fanfic out an ending for them in my brain from this. i'm fine. i'm thriving.

POOR POOR TUCKER, please hug tucker, he has to be going through so much right now.

i wonder if locus, somewhere out there, feels like he dodged a bullet and doesn't know why. (i wish he'd had to deal with red team one last time)

idk i probably have more thoughts kicking around feel free to talk to me i've been so insane about this for so long it's my oldest brainrot-

[love-beyond-space-war]

First regular Halo RvB oneshot. Requester was on Wattpad. I saw this as you're Sarge's adopted Daughter for age reasons. You're an adult in this, of course.

I really enjoy Dexter Grif, lol- Kept it general for when this takes place although it's implied to be before his sister arrives in Season 5 as it was not specified.

Approval

Pvt. Dexter Grif x Sarge's Daughter! Reader

Synopsis: Sarge thought it was a good idea to bring more firepower to the red team. What no one expected was Sarge to bring his daughter in. Imagine Grif's dilemma when he finds himself falling for you, the daughter of the man who he loves to irritate.

Content Warnings: Kissing, Forbidden relationship, Swearing, Other than that it's cute.

"You can't be serious...." Simmons sighs, looking over to Grif in disappointment.

"I am serious, Simmons!" Grif huffs, leading to Simmons groaning.

"Sarge would have your head if he caught you with her, y'know that?" Simmons muses. "I mean, she only joined Red a few months ago and you're already-"

"Not so loud, dude! What if she hears? That or Sarge!?"

"Doesn't sound like my problem."

"Okay, Kiss Ass."

Grif sighs and walks away from his friend. Maybe it was a mistake to consult Simmons about how he feels. Although he certainly wasn't saying it to Donut.

Truth is, Grif hasn't been feeling too well emotionally ever since he met Sarge's daughter, (Y/N). You were a bit younger than Grif and so unlike your father. Grif always assumed you weren't blood related because of that.

Sarge was so... Sarge. Ruthless and commanding, although it was fun to annoy him. You on the other hand? You made Grif's heart flutter.

You were so much nicer to him than Sarge. You even asked Sarge to go easier on him at one point. For that he was grateful.

You and Grif made surprising friends due to the relations with Sarge. Although you made him happy and he seemed to also make you happy. He never thought he'd find someone like you on the team.

Over the months he's known you his feelings only grew stronger. The only issue was expressing them. Which was hard to do for one big reason.

Sarge, your father. There's no way Sarge would approve of you dating him. That thought both angered and pained Grif.

"You good, Grif?" You ask softly, your voice shaking him from his thoughts. Grif's visor looks towards you. If only you knew....

"Ah... I guess, yeah. Simmons was giving me trouble again."

You sigh, irritated. He could read your emotions just by your tone.

"Wish Simmons and Sarge gave you more respect, Grif." You say, upset.

"Do you really mean that? They've always been like this-"

"Of course! Atleast I have the decency to treat you with respect. You're a pretty good guy, Grif."

Oh his heart ached....

"That means a lot...."

"(Y/N)!"

Grif freezes when he hears your name being called. Great, it's Sarge.

"Yes, dad?"

"Why are you talking with Grif?"

"I happen to enjoy talking with Grif?"

"He's a bad influence, (Y/N). Lazy as all hell...."

"Hey!"

"He's fun to talk to, dad."

"I would rather you talked with Simmons if anyone here."

"Simmons is a Kiss Ass."

Grif laughs softly at your comment, you really did have his back. Maybe he could give this a try...

"Language, (Y/N). Simmons is a good man."

"Say what you will, dad."

You snicker before walking away. Desperate to get out of Sarge's gaze and talk with you more, Grif follows. If he could just get you alone....

"You seem off, Grif."

Grif feels you put a hand on his shoulder. Your touch is comforting, he feels he can do this.

"Admittedly... a little?"

"Is it my father?"

"That's part of it."

"Yeah, I get that. He's just so..."

"Him?"

"Yeah."

Grif sits down in the base with you. It's just you and him in private. He breathes in before speaking.

"It's been a hard few months but I felt I should tell you this."

"Mhm?"

"(Y/N)..." Grif sits closer. "I like you, like, more than just a comrade."

You look at him. It's hard to tell your expressuon through your visor. But what you did next said all he needed to know.

You shift closer before pulling him into your embrace. You both say nothing, cherishing the moment. Grif could tell you felt the same.

"I had a feeling you'd say that." You say, pulling away enough to tug at your helmet. Grif was left awestruck upon seeing your face. It took you tapping his helmet to snap him out of it.

"Come on, you shy?"

"(Y/N)...." Grif says in shock before removing his helmet. Once off, you wrap your arms around him and kiss him. Grif pauses before kissing back.

He was admittedly not that experienced. Yet neither were you. That didn't change the fact you both were enjoying yourselves.

It felt nice for the both of you. Wrapped around each other and sharing a very intimate moment. It felt meant to be....

Soon you both pull away, looking at each other in bliss. You couldn't be happier.

"God I love you...."

"Same to you, Grif...."

"(Y/N) and Grif!"

"Ah shit...."

You both freeze upon hearing Sarge's voice.

"You have some explaining to do!"

[sharkface-daydreams]

Ask meme word for you is “best”!

ooh this should be interesting ty 💜 turns out I've used it quite a bit especially in the Yurch au stuff :3 (i have a lot of wip documents sorry haha)

Terrence took the bottle and turned it around and over in the sun, watching the glitter swirl around in the acid pink liquid. "Yeah, that's definitely Cronut's work," he muttered. He glanced up at Felix. "Why do you want me to have legs?"

"It's not about me," Felix said airily. Terrence gave him a dirty look. That was a patent lie. "I thought it might be fun if you got to wander around up here on land for a little bit. Shake things up a little."

"Uh-huh."

"I could even show you how to get at the best plums in the orchard."

Terrence smirked. "You just wanted an accomplice."

-

Felix takes a brief bow. "The one and only, motherfuckers. Now," he continues, flipping a lockpicking kit casually out of one of his pouches, "Once you leave you'll notice this base is entirely populated by corpses. No need to thank us, and no need to waste time getting the fuck out. And, if there is any mercy in this cold, unforgiving universe, we'll never see each other ever again, so." He swings the door open. "Make like a tree, cocksuckers."

They hesitate, glancing at each other. "I know I didn't stutter. Get out. Your yellow moron is right here." Felix grabs Grif by the shoulder and shoves him into the room.

"Grif!" Simmons yells.

"I'm orange!" Grif protests.

"Shut up, you're goldenrod at best. We're not having this argument again because I'm right," Felix hisses, feeling his grip on his temper quickly loosen.

-

"Fragment?" Sharkface's curious gaze swung his way and Aiden did his best to keep his face neutral. "It's busted?"

-

“Oh, you don’t talk much, huh? I like that, that’s kinda cool. It’s mysterious. You’re like a magician. You’re like… David Blaine with tits.”

Leland turned to look at him over his shoulder. "Um. You do realize I'm "Yellow Church", right, and not the girl?"

"Oh, I know." Yes, Tucker was very keenly aware he'd just panicked and hit on his best friend's new ghost clone haunting a pretty good-looking robot body.

"Ok. Great."

Tucker shuffled his feet awkwardly. He fucked up. Lee's gonna hate him same as Church and—

Suddenly Leland sighed and said, "Actually Cinnabon sounds really fuckin' good right now."

"Oh, y-yeah?"

Leland gave a distracted hum. "Yeah, but…" He glanced up at the sky. "Where the fuck even is the nearest mall from here?"

-

He often has horrible nightmares when sleeping alone, and Caboose wakes up right away to wake him since he's kinda noisy - thrashing, crying, screaming. The rest of the squad prefers that they sleep snuggled up together. Sometimes when the others' sleep gets bad, Caboose goes around and collects everyone into a cuddle pile and they sleep that way. They weren't very happy about it at first, especially Emerson who has a superiority complex, but it's the best sleep they've ever gotten in their lives. Shin and Joennes use the excuse to cuddle with each other.

-

Despite his best efforts, Wash figures him out quickly. He's really not as stealthy as he used to be, despite trying to get extra training in when everyone else was sleeping. "Private Argus," Wash calls cheerfully, "if you would be polite and join us instead of eavesdropping."

"Damnit." He should have known better than to think he could trail Wash properly while also being out of practice. Wash had actually gotten onto the leaderboard, and he'd spent the past 14 months as Private Duncan Argus, a dangerously clumsy recruit whose only real asset was his speed.

"Argus?" Church says, high-pitched with disbelief. "What the fuck is he doing here?"

"He's been following us, probably on Command's orders."

"Howdy, folks," Argus says pleasantly, walking up to them nonchalantly, as if he hasn't just been discovered tailing them for the past several hours. "Sir," he amends, nodding at Washington.

-

He frowned briefly when he realized Church wasn't listening, too busy trying to get Caboose to put him back down from where he was lifting Church up in a huge bear hug and talking about how much fun they're gonna have in their new best friend adventure with their new friends and they're just regular friends because no one else will ever be his best friend and somewhere along that happy rant, Church feels his emotions go into overdrive and tears leak out of his remarkably anatomically correct tear ducts.

-

Maine huffs lightly, raises his eyebrows, and turns to walk away. That was probably the best it was going to get, and it wasn't Sigma's place to pry further. Well he didn't rip your chip out of our head and crush it so that's something, Alpha thinks to him. Sigma gives him a baleful stare and sinks back into himself for contemplation. Alpha can still feel him there as well as he can feel their limbs, but leaves him be. Being partially integrated is weird.