#yes i am taking a sims playthrough too seriously. but it's just like... getting on my nerves atp bc what the fuck are they talking about

[purpurussy]

I'm glad they're taking it easy because they've been doing way too much lately but I'm so fucking bored

[doubledash7]

The Sims 2: Uberhood Playthrough - Round 1 (Broke)

Hello all! Long time, no see! I've been very slack lately, but here I am with another part! The next Broke family!

Here we have Ruby and Trigger Broke, along with their dog, Duke (you may remember him from the last Broke part as the offspring of Danny and Sarah Broke). Ruby and Trigger are cousins, and have recently said goodbye to Trigger's sister, Susie (she got married to another family that we will see in a future part).

Ruby is Skip Broke's older sister. While not normally present in Pleasantview, I recreated the extended Broke family and added them in. After playing The Sims 3 Riverside, it just didn't seem right not to have them here. Ruby is a Pleasure sim and is looking for love!

And here is Trigger, Ruby's paternal cousin. He is a Fortune sim and looking to make the big bucks! He is also not opposed to finding love, especially since his younger sister got married.

Ruby and Trigger both work part-time, and they like to spend their days heading down to the local bar. Ruby found herself oddly attracted to the older Joe Graham. Things didn't get off to a great start though, with their first conversation turning sour very quickly!

Trigger didn't have much luck at the bar, but he did manage to catch the lovely Claire Wood walking past the house and struck up a conversation with her. Claire seemed very happy to meet some new! Meanwhile, Ruby tried to smooth things over with Joe on the phone.

Uh-oh! Ruby woke up this morning at the beginning of a midlife crisis! This means that her aspiration changes to Grow Up and her personality will be in regular mood swings! Watch out Trigger!

Having just aged up to an adult and wanting a bit more independence, Dustin Broke moved in. He would have to share a small room with Trigger, but that didn't bother him. Plus it was another Sim to help out with the bills.

Trigger decided to ask Claire out on a date at, you guessed it, the local bar. Trigger sure knows how to show a girl a good time, even toasting to her while waiting for their food. Maybe this tactic has worked before with other girls. They ended up having a good date, despite spending most of it on the "Okay" level.

Ruby decided to opt for a home cooked meal with Joe. Despite their age gap, Ruby couldn't help but see the youthful side of Joe. That bad initial conversation turned out to be a one time thing, and their relationship really began to take off from there.

This is one of the reasons I love ACR (Autonomous Casual Romance). Claire made the first move with Trigger, securing their first kiss together. Clearly Claire is a girl that likes the simple life of bar food and being toasted.

Now Trigger and Claire, when do you think your second date will...oh, never mind.

Enjoying a post woohoo meal, Trigger and Claire's early dinner was interrupted by a chance card for Ruby, who works as a Coffee Shop Sound Engineer. As always, I roll between one and three to pick an option. This seems to work very well with the midlife crisis too, as Ruby's actions would be very unpredictable at this stage.

And....she got fired. You should know better Ruby than to just hide damaged equipment, and now you pay the price! Luckily Ruby was able to find a job as Fish Chummer pretty quick. There are bills to be paid, and drinks at the bar to be paid for.

Ok, this is now just cruel. Not only did she get fired, but she also picked up the flu! Straight to bed with you! I take the flu very seriously with the more dangerous sickness mod being in my game. I've lost sims before, and it can happen in an instant!

Well Trigger is looking to put a ring on it! Looks like Claire Wood has been able to tame this bad boy!

And Ruby got immediate FOMO and decided she also wanted to get married. It's not a competition guys.

Joe said yes! Ruby and Joe happily embraced! It may seem quick, but you have to remember that each day in my game is one year in real life, so they have known each other for three years at this stage. Neither of them could afford to throw a big wedding, so they quickly went down to city hall and made it official. It may start to get a bit crowded in this trailer.

Oh Dustin! You too! At least yours was just a demotion. The last thing we need is two of you being fired.

Oof, maybe Claire wasn't ready for marriage after all. Or maybe she expected her engagement to be more thoughtful and grand than in the front yard of the trailer. Poor Trigger!

Ruby immediately wanted to try and have a baby. At this stage, Ruby is getting close to 50, so she knew it would be hard to fall pregnant. Luckily on her third go, we heard the sweet jingle of pregnancy.

One day (and one real life year) later, Claire was ready to say yes to Trigger. It's lucky she said yes, as Trigger may have started to question staying with her. They also had a quickie wedding at city hall.

Score! Finally a lucky chance card, this time for Trigger.

Ruby was soon ready to give birth. Little Kaylee soon arrived! Only Claire was available to help her with the birth.

They grow up so fast!! I think Kaylee has taken a little bit too much of her father's face. It will be interesting to see her as an adult. Being a Libra, she will also end up as a Romance sim.

Kaylee growing up to a toddler was also enough to knock Ruby out of her midlife crisis. No more mood swings! Yay!

Duke also grew up. This is the first time I have seen the offspring of Danny and Sarah grown up. They make cute dogs!!

And we ended the round with a surprise pregnancy with Trigger and Claire, resulting in Davey! He is a real cutie! With seven sims and a dog all living in a two bedroom, one bathroom trailer, it was time to split them up. Trigger and Claire moved out with Davey and Duke, along with Dustin into a new trailer, ready for the next round! Hope you liked this part! Please let me know what you think. :)

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

I wouldn't mind that post on VNs!

So I was gonna write three different lists, but then after writing the first part I realized this is very long and takes a while to write and nobody cares anyway so I’ll just post my recommended list only. Well, I mean, you asked, but I doubt you wanted all this lol. Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about this stuff, though. Hope you enjoy my ramblings!

An explanation for what this list is: Sometimes I know a game isn't perfect in many aspects but I still had a genuinely good time playing it, hence why I'm recommending it. Also I should mention that I could talk for hours about some of these games so if anyone’s curious about more of my thoughts, let me know.

Alright, now that that's out of the way ...

How to Take Off Your Mask / How to Fool a Liar King / How to Sing to Open Your Heart (f/m): This is a trilogy of smaller, single-RO games where you can take one of two routes depending on how you act, and they’re all interconnected where you get to meet and interact with the previous games’ characters in the sequel games. I went into this expecting very little but what I got blew me away with how funny, charming and cute the games were. They don’t take themselves too seriously, at one point an angsty male character monologues deeply about some shit, and another one just slides into frame and starts mocking him. It was so fucking funny, holy shit. Also, a central theme is literally racism against catgirls? Which is monumentally stupid, and probably the games’ main flaw, especially in the final game where it pairs up a catgirl with a catgirl racist, but that one still ends with a literal bisexual queen literally making a man her malewife because she fell in love with his cooking, so like ... It speaks for itself. My favorite game of the three is the second one, where you get to play a punchy fake catgirl and romance a pink-haired prince. And honestly, all the female protags in these games are lovely and a breath of fresh air, and the male characters are fun and not abusive assholes either. There’s full Japanese voice acting, and two out of three female protags are literal catgirls who pepper in “nya” and “mya” into their dialogue, and it’s just treated as a quirk of their catgirl race. I AM NOT KIDDING. Yet somehow it never comes off as cringe, because it doesn’t take it self too seriously. These games are just cozy. That’s the only way I can describe them. Cozy and hilarious. Play them yesterday. Dream Daddy (m/m): Man tumblr did this game dirty. This is just a cute, wholesome daddy dating simulator with gorgeous art. Coming out on Top (m/m): So you know Dream Daddy? What if it was EXTREMELY, MAJORLY NSFW? Though I realize how bad the comparison really is, the only thing these games have in common is that they’re gay dating sims and don’t have an anime art style and oh, yeah, they’re both really well-written. Or at least, extremely funny. COOT (heh) is DDADDS’ horny older cousin, and I first encountered the game on a lesbian letsplayer’s YouTube channel. Yes I watched a lesbian play a gay porn game and it was GOOD. I was there for the cringe and fun and got surprised by how genuinely funny and sometimes actually touching the game was. I can’t give it my universal endorsement because it’s not a game for everyone, as I said, it’s extremely NSFW and the menu theme literally includes the singers screaming “SEX SEX” at the top of their lungs. There’s more to this game than the porn, but there’s just so much porn. It can be censored in the settings but it’s unavoidable. However, I still think it’s worth a look just because of how funny it is and how charming the characters are. If you don’t want to play it yourself, at least watch Anima’s playthrough of it. It hasn’t aged super well in some spots but I still go back to it every now and then. Akash: Path of the Five (f/m): This game markets itself as a more “professionally produced” western dating sim, and that’s accurate in some superficial aspects. The game is pretty poorly written, but it’s absolutely gorgeous and has really good English voice acting by actual professional voice actors. The premise is quite self-indulgent, but I genuinely respect that about it. You play as the only female elemental in a village with only men, and all five of your classmates want a piece of you. It’s clear the writers have put some thought into the lore and worldbuilding of this world, but barely any of it comes through in the actual writing and plot, which is basically just a vehicle for you to get together with your boy of choice. The ROs aren’t very well-developed either, and the plot is the same in every route with only minor variations depending on which guy you pick, up to the point where the protag has the same voice lines in some parts regardless of which guy she’s talking about. It also has one extra half-route that’s so bad and pointless I genuinely wonder why they wasted resources on making it instead of spending a bit more on the writing/adding some variations to the main plot. So why am I recommending this game? Well, it’s pretty, and it sounds nice. This game is a himbo, gorgeous but dumb as rocks. Enjoy it for what it is. I know I did. Get it when it’s on sale, I think if I hadn’t gotten it at half-price I would’ve felt a bit more cranky about it. Also Rocco is bae. Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons (f/m): Yes that’s the full title, no I don’t know what it means either. You may have noticed how most of the games so far I’ve enjoyed because they don’t take themselves too seriously? Well, this one does. It takes itself SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY. Like, way too seriously. It’s a little embarrassing at points because baby, you’re an urban fantasy dating sim. Calm down. But the game has gorgeous art and 3 out of 5 routes are very good. The last route, the one with your teacher, is both the most problematic yet somehow the one that breaks down the very concept of a dating sim within its own narrative (yes, this shit gets fucking META) and it got so wild at the end that 1) I still listen to the soundtrack for that route and 2) I still remember it to this day despite finishing it ages ago. My favorite route is Shou, he’s a sweetheart, but the mindfuck route is so buckwild that I think the game is worth playing just for that. There’s also a route that’s like a neo-noir mystery? I Do Not Know. This game is many, many things and it does them so sincerely and tries so hard, you can’t help but respect it. It doesn’t always stick the landing but man, just let this thing take your hand and wax poetic at you for a bit. Also get this one at a sale because it’s very expensive to get the full version. I got it for 9 bucks on itch.io and I felt that was a fair enough price, I’d say I wouldn’t have minded paying more for it because there’s a lot of content to enjoy and/or be baffled by. Arcade Spirits: This one’s a bit more weird from what I recall, and I honestly couldn’t tell you much about it, but I remember having a very good time with it and recommending it to a friend when she was going through some tough times and she said it made her feel better. I remember it making me feel better, as well. This is a VN about an arcade and the ROs are wonderfully diverse, with very real human conflicts that get explored in each of their routes. It can get quite existential and heavy at times, but in the end it’s a kindhearted game that I think everyone can enjoy. The main character was also, how you say, mood. It’s a game about getting possessed by a video game and then learning self-love. Ebon Light (f/m): This one’s free/name your own price on itch.io so go play it. It’s a weird plot where you play as a girl who ate an elven relic? And then the elves kidnap you because you’re the relic now. All the ROs are extremely pasty (like, literally white, as in literally the color white) dark-haired elves, except for one, who’s an extremely pasty blond elf, so ... diversity? I honestly don’t know what this game is aside from unique. I used to be a bit put off by the art style but now I think it contributes to the general atmosphere. It’s a weird game that technically doesn’t do anything groundbreaking but still left an impression of “huh. weird” in my mind and I think more people should play it. The ROs are all pretty generic dating sim archetypes but done well, with bonus points to Duliae who’s just a massive creep and I love him, and also Vadeyn who’s the only bitch in this house I respect. The worldbuilding is honestly a bit buckwild and I can’t give enough credit for how unique the elves’ culture is in this game. Definitely give it a go. Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds / Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms (f/m): These two are newer releases of an older Japanese visual novel. I wouldn’t call it a dating sim, it’s ... it’s more of a super depressing historical fantasy epic with some minor romance aspects awkwardly wedged in. It’s seriously some of the heaviest and most grimdark shit I’ve ever played in a VN/otome. I don’t understand why it’s a dating sim, it doesn’t read like one, it’s just historical fantasy based on real world events with characters based on real people, and they kill and they die and they grieve and they suffer. The games are literally about the downfall of the Shinsengumi, there’s no way of avoiding everything going to shit and you get to watch and be in the middle of it all as they struggle to stay alive and relevant in a world that doesn’t need them anymore. And there’s the protag in the middle of it all, being useless and submissive and bland just the way the usual otome protag is. I don’t think these games are necessarily fun, and the romance is certainly a lot more downplayed and deeply problematic just based on the age differences alone with some of the men, but the sheer amount of horror and sadness in these games make them stand out above its peers. It’s like watching a war movie. Since most of the characters are based on real people, they feel like real people instead of the usual otome archetypes, and they are so, SO flawed, it’s interesting to just watch them deal with the shit the world throws at them. It’s an Experience, and if you’re up for it, I think it’s worth the time. Cinderella Phenomenon (f/m): This game is free on Steam so go get it. You play as a really, genuinely shitty princess who gets cursed to be poor and forgotten and she has to help one of the ROs break his fairy tale curse so that she can learn about being a good person herself and return to her normal life. This game doesn’t look like much, but it has a genuinely well-written main character who’s actually at the center of each of the stories and in the overarching plot instead of just being around to make eyes at the real protagonists, aka the love interests. Aside from the main character, my favorite part of this game’s writing is how each route slowly but very smoothly expands upon the overarching intrigue. If you play them in a certain order, you get more and more info revealed to you that you didn’t see in other routes, gaps are filled in as you find out more about what actually happened and why, but every route also stands on its own as a full experience and none is more canon than the rest. There’s also some really heavy emotional parental abuse explored, which I found quite potent at times. The romances themselves were alright, I think Karma and Waltz were my faves.

[aretherelesbians]

Are there Lesbians? No

What Happens? Your childhood friend convinces you to join the school literature club, and it happens to be full of cute girls!

The Verdict: I didn't find this game that bad but that’s because I did plenty of research before playing so I knew what I was in for. If you want to play DDLC please please take the content warnings seriously.

Tw: suicide, self-harm, jump-scares, child abuse, horror

[[[SPOILERS]]]

A literature club dating sim that turns into a psychological horror? Yes please! I am completely enamoured with this concept and I think the devs did an amazing job pulling me into the world of their game. DDLC starts off like any average dating sim but there is only one ending - a bad end where Sayori, your childhood friend, kills herself. At this point the game ends and you are presented with the title menu. This time however, the game reacts to Sayori's presence as if she was a glitch - where her image used to be on the splash page is now an amalgamation of the other girls' sprites. Your save files from your first playthrough are deleted and you are now thrust into a horrific version of the same world, only this one becomes increasingly aware that it's a game. Your control is slowly taken from you as Monika, the President of the Literature Club takes your choices away so that you can be with her forever inside the game.

To be honest, from reviews I’ve read I was actually expecting to have even less control over this game than I actually did - I was so worried that it wouldn't let me save at all on the second play through! I'd been so careful to play on a day where I had plenty of time free. If save-points are one of your main worries then fear not! While Act 2 deletes your Act 1 save files, you can still make plenty throughout the second part, and you'll probably want to because it gets pretty intense! From what I'd read I was prepared for the game to completely take over my computer, but apart from a few mouse control issues in the window the game only really deals in its own files. The loss of mouse control might feel scarier if you’re in full screen but if you’re a wuss like me who played it in a window you can just hold it over a different part of your screen to regain control and mental stability. There are a couple of jump scares throughout the game - some of which are random. Personally I found the first time the characters glitched the most surprising. Even though I was expecting it, it still managed to catch me off guard each time!

Unfortunately, while you can enter the name if your choice at the beginning, throughout the game you play as a guy. This does get flipped on its head a little at the end when Monika reveals she knows it’s a game and that you are therefore not who you say you are (she also explicitly states the she doesn’t know what gender you are), but I still feel like it might have been nice to set the pronouns of your choice, especially as you never see/hear the playable character anyway.

I can understand why the game chose to go a heteronormative route - dating sims are, after all an excessively hetero thing - and I like how DDLC plays with your expectations in that regard. I do also like that once the game breaks down there is an expectation that it’s not only males who are playing. So while I can’t give the game a yes to lesbians, I think it does deal with gender in an interesting way. 

One thing I found particularly weird was the character design. Now I have seen a lot of anime in my time but even I was weirded out by the proportions of these girls - their heads were very large and their waists very small!!! At first I didn't really find any of them particularly "cute" at all, but (and forgive me while I sound like a massive tit) their personalities really shine through and the game invests a fair bit of time in you being able to form emotional connections with them. DDLC is after all, a dating sim first and foremost.

Of course the primary issues DDLC deals with are suicide, depression and self-harm. If you experience these things it is advised that you don’t play. I am of mixed opinions regarding how the game deals with these issues - on one hand it can be quite exploitative and uses suicide and self-harm for shock value, but on the other, it has the capacity to treat the depression of a close friend in quite a candid and thoughtful way.

Overall, DDLC is a fun game that doesn’t take itself too seriously and is a refreshing take on what is often a terribly misogynistic and heteronormative genre. I think it would be particularly fun to play with another person, even if only so that you can laugh at each other’s reactions!

Doki Doki Literature Club is free to play and you can download it here

[hoofbeast]

warning! dream daddy spoilers for damien’s route

first of all, i just want to say that i fucking love this game holy shit. i work full time so i only get enough time to play one route per day, so ill eventually get through all the dads, but i started off with damien. this post is going to be a whole shitload of screencaps and spoilers, so ill put everything under a cut

the theme song is so great XD i actually paused my pandora at work so i could listen to the song a couple times

i wanted to play my first run through of this game as close to me as i could manage. i took extra care to design my character to look like me. i had my husband help and he still cant get over how much this character looks like me. my first choice for hair color was white (like most of my hair is now) but we decided to go with red because no matter what i do to my hair i inevitably circle back to red. i gave him my signature sly smirk and i used my actual name, too :3

right away, this game has me pegged. this is exactly something i would do XD

she’s a real chip off the ol’ block. FUCK THE SYSTEM! *wipes tear*

we ran into brian and daisy in the park, and honestly, brian will probably be one of the last dads i pursue the ending for. few things piss me off more than one-upmanship. im sure theres a lot more to his character and route, but still. 

also, question: is it possible that daisy is on the autism spectrum? theres a lot more to see of her, but what ive seen so far is that she’s exceedingly intelligent, doesnt get along well with kids her age but seems fine around older persons, didnt understand the concept of playing pretend until amanda explained it. i remember being pretty much exactly like that when i was a kid, and ive been thinking of getting evaluated for a while, myself.

the pokemon battle dad brag-off was a nice touch XD is it possible to win? cuz brian kicked my ass like it was his job

seriously, wow. is this game somehow able to evaluate the choices ive made so far and build a personality profile for me or is social awkwardness a way more universal experience than i thought?? because this is exactly #me

so anyway, i met a few more dads before calling it a day. 

i kinda dig mat, he’s as awkward and rambly as i am, and i am always cool with people who are passionate about music and puns and music puns. so far, he was the top contender for my first dad. 

then there’s robert, with his hot, smoldering gaze. hot and smoldering because i can already tell that inside, he’s a blazing tire fire.

i dont hate craig (forgot to get a cap of him, oops) but i do hate everything he stands for. namely, jogging, exercise, waking up before noon, and jogging. fuck an entire pile of that. i totally blew him off when he tried to get me to come to the gym and went back to sleep. like i said, im playing this as though Daddy Felix were the irl me and, honestly, craig would be lucky if he got a text of anything but misspelled swears and knife emojis from me if he woke me up at 6am

i will state right now that i do. not. trust joseph. he’s the only dad ive seen so far that actively flirts right from the beginning which is highly suspect behavior for a youth minister, and once i did the yard party and saw that he was still married, i trusted him even less. what kind of future could my character ever have with some cheatin ass bastard?? if i give you a bad dragon gift card will you back the fuck up off me, joseph >:/

#me

forgot to get a cap of damien in dead, goth, and beyond (i am totally calling it that from now on thats perf omg) 

anyway, i got through the yard party part. i kinda feel bad for craig cuz i stonewalled him pretty hard haha. but mat was there and i wanted to know what he was saying.

about this dadbook thing, tho: its grindr. like, its thinly-veiled grindr. there is exactly 0 reason why a nonsexual social media site should have turn-ons and ideal dates. this is definitely where dads go to hook up and fuck.

i read through the profiles and decided to message damien, literally because his says to send him a letter if i wanna talk about black cats and i VERY MUCH WANT TO TALK ABOUT CATS, YES. i didnt expect it to trigger a date, but this is the opposite of a problem. i figured id just have to court mat on my next playthrough

damiens house is fucking awesome 10/10 would have tea again

hoh! looks like i found your slashfic, damien >:3

wait. the narration said it was a worn leather bound book. did this fucking nerd seriously have his gay naruto fanfic bound in leather and then he keeps it in his swanky library?? i knew there was a reason i liked him XD

i think the first time i saw this reaction was from brian at the park and i was looking at the text so i didn’t see what it actually was. this time i was paying attention and its fucking eggplant and droplet emojis and im fuCKING WHEEZING FUCK XDDDD i know damn well what that means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway ya boi felix fucking crushed it whoop whoop! i learned to date from the master (the dating master is of course papyrus)

i have actually never played a dating sim before so it never occurred to me that i could go on dates with multiple dads without fucking up my game. i thought i was locked in to damien’s route, which, again, was the opposite of a problem, full speed ahead ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

so damien wrote me a for real letter! what a classy gent. <3 i am always a slut for handwritten letters

so obviously i write him a letter back, and i try to pick the options that are classy and rule out the ones that are trashy or over the top. i remember being a goth teen (and a goth adult ahaha) and how much i hated being condescended to. i want to play along with damien’s shtick, not make fun of him

completely forgot to take any caps of the actual date, but damien is afraid of horror movies and that’s even more adorable than mcree being afraid of horses. also, the running gag of cliche horror movie shit happening when damien shows up (his door creaking open and then slamming closed, spontaneous cracks of thunder) is terrific. my favorite part of vampire chronicles II: evil never dies is during the twist ending where one of the characters fucking looks into the camera and says the full title of the next movie in the series (vampire chronicles III: evil must die again) like its an actual statement a person would say in conversation. that shit had me cracking up

third date i was cockblocked before i could kiss damien by his phone ringing, then we ended up here and omg if this is a blood donation clinic im gonna shit

i see pet carriers. this is a vet’s clinic or smth

*sharp gasp* he’s... a NERD!! not that i didnt know that already by the way he has smutty fanfic in his library lmao

who would i even be trying to kid, of course i am

me: *softly, choking back genuine tears* gaaaaaaaay....

fucking SWOOOOON

(also he reminds me of equius when his hair is tied back like this and just HNNNG!! this was the BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME)

sorry heteros, mothmans gay and we’re dating

piss off joseph im clearly with damien i know you want your slutty altarboy holes filled but find somebody else to do it fucks sake begone, thot

screeeeee<3<3<3<3<3

THE END!

not sure if ill post about other dads and their routes. probably not like this lol. im no good at this whole commentary thing. maybe ill collect up some highlights and post them or something.

anyway, im going to go through each of the dads while making decisions i would personally make, where possible. once im done with that ill go back and savescum until ive tried out each option so i can try for all the bad endings. my brother’s girlfriend told me theres a secret ending for joseph but i told her not to spoil it for me (maybe a polyamorous relationship with him and mary?? that would be awesome mary is cool), and i saw in the achievements that you can fuck robert on the first night. otherwise im actively trying to go through this blind and im having a blast so far. this is a very fun game

[crystalsoul16]

RFA + Minor Trio: Video Games

So I got bored, and being the Mystic Messenger obsessed game addict that I am, my mind wandered to wondering what sorts of video games the RFA would play, like types or genres and some examples (aside from LOLOL in Yoosung’s case of course lol), which led to making this headcanon post. Of course, these are all just my personal headcanons, and I would love to hear what thoughts you guys have for this subject! Sharing headcanons is fun~!! Sorry this got kinda long tho lol I guess I got carried away ^^;;;

Note: If you’re on the mobile app and only see Yoosung’s section, copy and paste the post’s URL into your mobile web browser. That should fix it~

💚YOOSUNG💚

Well we all know that he’s addicted to LOLOL, and probably plays or has tried other MMOs. As perfect as those are for him, I’m looking at other types of games for this. Otherwise it’s too easy lol

Plays RPGs and adventure games the most

When he can make a custom character, his preferred classes are knight or warrior classes, but he’s also open to playing as mages

Definitely the kind of player that picks up every. Single. Side quest. Because he wants to help everyone

Need a certain number of rarely dropped items? No problem!

Want to deliver an item to someone who’s not even a two minute walk away? He’s on it!

Got a super difficult optional boss that you want dead that can–and will–display the Game Over screen multiple times, and you’re offering a class-specific item he can’t use as a reward? Sign him the fuck up!

Unless they want something he doesn’t agree with… -gives Skyrim’s Blades the side-eye-

No matter how hard he tries, he just can’t bring himself to play the “asshole/aggressive character” style

“Sure, this assassin was hired by that one traitor who wants us dead, my party is totally against letting him live since he might try to kill us again, and we have absolutely no reason to trust him aside from his seemingly honest answers which he could have just fabricated to save himself, so logic seems to point at killing him to be safe…………buuuuuuuuuut he could be a helpful party member and then no one has to die!”

Also, he loves games that encourage interaction with other players!

“People think that you don’t get any friends if you play games… but you get tons!” TRUTH!!!

So yeah, games with interaction are great!

Honestly MMORPGs are fucking perfect for him and and that’s why he’s addicted to LOLOL! lol seriously dude game with me plz

Really likes Pokemon for the sense of community with trades and battles and such

Totally attempted to make a competitive team at some point

Whenever new games are announced, he and Seven figure out who gets what version so they can trade version exclusives and such

Can never beat Seven in a battle tho… The one rival battle he can never win T^T

Also this guy is a Kirby fan fight me on this

♥ZEN♥

Not a lot of time for gaming with his schedule, but he doesn’t mind using them to wind down or as a distraction when he has the time or feels really stressed out (and if working out doesn’t help first)

He’s a fan of the more cinematic or story driven games, like Shadow of the Colossus, Heavy Rain, and The Last of Us

Knowing this, Yoosung recommended some Telltale games to him

Zen got hooked. The Wolf Among Us is probably his favorite

Plus their episodic releases really work with his schedule, with each episode lasting about 2 hours, give or take. So if he starts on a fully released one, he can do one episode a day until he’s done

Sometimes he and Yoosung will talk about how their stories went or what choices they made

“Wait, you knew what ‘Glass him’ meant???”

“Of course I did, Yoosung, that’s why I didn’t choose it! What did you think it meant?”

“I thought it meant giving him a drink, not smashing the glass in his face!!!”

“lol well now you know in case they use it again!”

“T_T”

Also, I’m sure this likely goes without saying, but this man is damn good at DDR style games or Pump it Up I guess cuz Korea but you get my point. Good luck trying to beat him lol

I mean, first off, he’s clearly got great rhythm considering his job

And second, great form of aerobic exercise! So why not?

Might try to get Yoosung into exercising more by tricking convincing him to play this with him

He’s definitely a “freestyle” sorta player, doin’ all sorts of flashy moves

Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been asked to do voice work for a game

Maybe a dating sim…

💜JUMIN💜

Okay, let’s get the obvious out of the way. This man definitely plays Neko Atsume and no force in this universe can convince me otherwise. It’s about cats and you really only play it in very short intervals through the day, which works with his schedule. It’s perfect for him. Moving on 

With his busy schedule due to running a company and whatnot, there really isn’t a lot of time for him to sit down to play video games despite owning a couple of systems apparently. It might be days or weeks between play sessions. So casual games are more his thing

Okay so, hear me out. Animal Crossing New Leaf

You’re in charge of a village and what gets built where, gotta manage your finances with paying off your house and having new structures and businesses built, sometimes schedule meetings visits with the villagers, cat villagers

NOTHING BUT CAT VILLAGERS

Questions Tom Nook’s business strategy regarding the house

“Why have the house expanded before they pay for it? A customer could easily betray your trust that way by never paying you for the final expansion. Paying ahead of time as you do with the exterior customizations would be wiser.”

“Jumin it’s just a game… ;;;;;;” 

Probably made Jaehee get a copy of the game to make some tasks easier

“Assistant Kang, you have perfect oranges in your village, yes?”

“Yes, though why are you asking me right now? Don’t you have a meeting in five minutes?”

“I’m passing the time, and Mitzy requested an orange.”

“Don’t you have regular oranges to give her?”

“Of course, but Mitzy deserves no less than a perfect orange.” plus he still needs her picture, and prefect fruit will help with that

-_-;;; “……I don’t think I can get one to you before the meeting, but I can have a full basket ready for you after you’re done.”

“That will do.”

Also, do not let this man play Minecraft

Remember, this is the guy who made fucking blueprints when he was told to draw a house when he was a little kid. He would definitely get carried away like that in Minecraft 

Like in the tutorial when they tell you to make a house? Basically just a simple box with a door? pffft, nah. That won’t do

He would probably end up building the most elaborate cube-based house you could possibly imagine and leave you wondering how the fuck he had the free time to build that

“Firstly you need a nice foyer to leave a good first impression. A standard house should have at least two bedrooms, though three would be ideal. And a living room and a kitchen are both necessary, of course. I suppose a library or office is optional, but they make a great addition. Getting enough colored wool proved to be difficult, but adding some color with carpets keeps the house from looking bland and–”

“Jumin it’s just the tutorial! You just need a one room house with a door and a bed!”

“That’s not a house, though. That’s a shed with a bed.”

-facepalm-

might use it to help plan out layouts for new buildings

💛JAEHEE💛

Man, most of these guys really don’t have time for gaming, huh?

Jaehee probably has the least amount of free time for gaming tho. Poor Baehee barely has time to sleep :c

She’s honestly really not that into games tho, so this doesn’t bother her. There are much more productive things she can do in her spare time like get some sleep jfc let the woman get enough sleep for once plz!!

Though if Zen did do a voice in a game she would play it in a heartbeat, or look up a playthrough at the very least. Nowhere near the same as seeing him actually acting up on a stage of course, but surely he can do a great performance solely with his voice!

Like Jumin, casual games that you can put down for long periods of time would suit her best

Actually ends up liking Animal Crossing more than she thought she would or wants to admit

She loves how the villagers are always happy to see her and always rooting for her, and she absolutely adores Isabelle

Probably has a Brewster plush or figure somewhere in her cafe

While I don’t think she’d actually play them, I can imagine her being REALLY good at fighting games

Just takes her a quick look through those lengthy combo lists and she’s got that shit memorized, and with a few practice rounds she can kick your ass with perfect wins before you even know what hit you

But of course, she probably wouldn’t play them, so you don’t have to worry about that :)

❤️️707❤️️

Yay, someone with some time to game!

Actually no, that’s a lie, but he procrastinates on his work a lot, so he has game time

Anything that’s humorous or gives him a chance to be a jackass would be his shit

Sometimes you just need the stupid humor of a goat flying through the air in ragdoll mode to help you get through the day, y'know?

He also enjoys puzzle games to exercise his mind, and racing games for obvious reasons he can go fast without risking his babies’ safety lol

Okay so in Yoosung’s route, he mentions playing GTO (assumed to be a knockoff of GTA), which makes sense for him because cars and high jinks, but with that in mind you know what he’d really get a kick out of?

Saints Row, especially Saints Row IV, cuz that one has hacking elements, and you get superpowers, and you gotta save people and shit. Sounds great for the Defender of Justice, no? The comedy and great music selection is a bonus, really c:

As for being a jackass… Be cautious if you invite him to play Mario Party with you.

He will purposely aim for the Chance Time spaces just to watch everyone else freak out about it, and he will aim for stealing your stars and often succeeds

He’s also really fuckin’ good at Mario Kart. Do not challenge him unless you like being hit by blue shells and other such items

Also, Battleblock Theater. Great puzzle platformer, good humor, and in co-op mode, a great chance to be an ass!! Much to Yoosung’s dismay lol

“Seven, stop throwing me into the water!! And stop blowing me up! We won’t get the time bonus at this rate!”

“lolol who cares, seeing you get mad is worth it~”

A grumpy Yoosung later got revenge by shoving 707’s character into the water

they laugh about it later lol

💙V💙

Guys, this poor man can’t see well at all. Like, he can only see a little bit out of his left eye. That kinda makes video games a challenge for him

That being said…idk he probably liked Pokemon Snap when he could see

Okay seriously this time, imagining he can see well and his life isn’t shit. He’d be a big fan of games that are about exploration and have stunning views or a unique art style

He’d probably really like Okami, Unravel, and Journey

Ori and the Blind Forest! Get it? Cuz he’s.........into artistic games and that game is really fuckin’ pretty

and he’s bli--

Also Firewatch. That game is fucking gorgeous. He would take so many screenshots in that one plus there’s a camera feature in the game lol

Also imagine him and Jumin playing Animal Crossing together and tell me that’s not the cutest shit

It’s a cute and light-hearted game, which I feel like he’d be into, he can play it on his 3DS when travelling, and it’s something he could play with his best buddy~ I’m down for this

Oh shit sudden thought

Okay hear me out! In an attempt to try to get closer to Yoosung, V asks him to teach him how to play LOLOL. Yoo might be a little hesitant at first but eventually agrees to it and holy shit it actually goes well and yay they’re bonding!

And damn V does a great job as a support mage

Of course V can’t play much due to travelling for work, but they try to schedule play times around that and make it work out. And during his travels, if V comes across a location that reminds him of some scenery seen in the game, he sends a picture of it to Yoosung and can this be a thing? I want this to be a thing because I need more Yoosung and V fluff in my life okay sorry for the ramble MOVING ON

seriously tho he probably really liked Pokemon Snap as a kid

💔SAERAN💔

Look me in the eyes and tell me this guy doesn’t rage quit

Like Michael Jones Rage Quit levels of rage quit

That first one is definitely him and Seven

Otherwise he’s pretty much silent when playing

As for games he’d like, anything that’ll let him blow off some steam, like shooters or fighting games

Need a partner for CoD Zombies? Or need someone to co-op Resident Evil with? Well, he’s not much of a multiplayer sorta guy, but if you can convince him then you’re set cuz he’d be damn good at those! 

And Multi-man Smash mode in Smash Bros is very therapeutic to him

Especially when his brother gets on his nerves

Which is often…

You can tell he’s really pissed off when he breaks out Mortal Kombat > ->;;;;;

Also, I can’t help but think that he’d be pretty good at the Guitar Hero and Rock Band games

As in “really fucking close to 100%-ing Through the Fire and the Flames on Expert mode in GH3” pretty good

Seriously his hacker hands are probably really fuckin’ fast I’m sure he could pull it off

Though when his bro sets up a “Family Game Night” and you know he would totally do that at some point or some sort of gaming get-together and sets up Rock Band, Saeran usually prefers to play the drums

holy shit drummer Saeran tho

Oh yes, thinking of gaming nights, if you thought Sev was a monster at Mario Kart, hoo boy, Saeran can be pretty ruthless himself

Except he usually saves all of his blue shells and other misery-inducing items for his bro

In a way he’d be your ally if you get stuck behind Seven

But when they need to team up, like for a 2v2 minigame in Mario Party, you are done

Those two working together make a lethal combination that you could never hope to defeat

I blame twin magic

💘VANDERWOOD💘️

So, hear me out. Card games

They probably play casual card games like Solitaire, Spider Solitaire, Hearts, etc on their phone to pass time

And they come across as a decent strategist to me, considering their job

And card games tend to focus very heavily on strategy

So card-based games like Shadowverse and (don’t laugh) Yu-Gi-Oh and such are probably up their alley

They’d also be really good tactical games like Disgaea

But for the most part they just favor those simple card games like Solitaire. They have too much to do to focus on other such games

Not that Seven hasn’t tried to drag them into gaming with him!

They only agreed to it when they thought Seven would get back to work after a quick game of Mario Kart or Smash Bros or something

Would lose on purpose to make the game go faster

Sev would know though and try to force them into another round

“This time with feeling!”

（；¬＿¬) “…Alright, fine…..”

Another victory for 707

“Okay, you won again, now back to work.”

“Oh come on, one more! You looked like you were having fun that time! Sorta kinda!”

-Vanderwood pulls out taser-

;;;;;;; “Right, back to work! Understood!”

Was definitely having fun tho. Don’t tell Seven

[salty-dracon]

ace hang plays my darling, a visual novel

DELICIOUS BOYFRIEND! | My Darling Full Playthrough | Ace Hang Plays

Lily: So let me get this straight. It’s a very short visual novel? And it’s... interesting?

Brid: Yeah. 

Val: Okay, so the last visual novel you recommended us was that one with the pigeons. So, if it’s a half hour long game that you liked, it’s probably either really good or terrifying. 

Brid: I guess you’ll never know which one until you start playing it. 

Arthur: Should I.... keep my eyes closed? 

---------

Arthur: Hey everyone, Ace Hang here! I’m Arthur!

Lily: I’m Lily!

Val: I’m Val!

Brid: And I’m Bridget! And we’re playing My Darling, a romantic visual novel game that I found on YouTube last night and thought the guys would enjoy playing!

Lily: You terrify me, lady. 

Val: See, I didn’t know that Hatoful Boyfriend would be like, a borderline horror game until you got me to play it for my channel. 

Arthur: Seriously? I always knew it was a horror game. 

Val: What the fuck? You didn’t tell me? 

Arthur: Brid and I were discussing it the other day, and she told me not to tell you anything about it. 

Val: But our playthrough of Calling Cipher- ugh, whatever. Point is, every time Brid recommends us a game, it’s either really good or a horror game. And with a title like “My Darling”, it’s probably not because it’s good. 

Lily: Um, do I get to roast the anime boys? 

Brid: Please. Do it. Literally half of the reason I picked this one out was for you to roast the anime boys. 

Val: And the other half? 

Brid: .... You don’t need to know that. 

Arthur: Are you going to use someone’s murder plot on us? 

Brid: What the fuck, of course not!

Lily: Okay, you red-haired bitch- NOT YOU BRIDGET- time to destroy your self-esteem. 

Brid: *snort*

Lily: Oh, uh, “What’s your name?”

Val: Okay, we gotta think of something stupid. Like, the level of your Noctis Umbra videos stupid. 

Lily: I mean, My Dude worked well, but like... we need something better. 

Val: Yeah. Uh, how about Bro? Oh, but I’m not sure how well that would work... since we’re probably playing a girl... 

Lily: It can be a gender-neutral bro. Like how I call everyone “dude”? 

Val: Good point, but like, Brid doesn’t want us to ruin the immersion. 

Brid: I say go for it. You could actually pull that one off. I don’t think gender is a big factor in the game.

Lily: Seriously?! We can do the bro stuff?!

Brid: I mean, besides all the pink. 

Val: BRO!

Arthur: BRO!

Lily: BRO!

Brid: BRO!

---------

Arthur: Can I voice him? Val gets to voice all the hot guys. 

Lily: Please, I wanna see your take on him!

Arthur: Okay. Let’s go. “Welcome!” His shading is, uh, interesting. Oh, look at his apron. “Best cook”. I bet he’s a good cook.

Lily: I bet he’s a shit cook.

Brid: “This is Takuya, my partner. We’ve been together for five years and are deeply in love.”

Val: So... not a dating sim? Unless we get to cheat on this guy?

Brid: “In the evening, when I come home from work, he greets me with a smile and hastens to prepare dinner. His words are so sweet.”

Val: I don’t trust him. 

Lily: God, if her internal monologue is just going to be “god he’s so cute” instead of “i love him” or something cute like that, it’s gonna suck. Gotta make it gay, man.

Brid: You want me to do a guy voice?

Lily: Please. 

Brid: *laughing* Okay! *lowered voice* “Good evening, my darling, I see you’re wearing the apron I gave you!”

Lily: TITLE DROP WHOOO

Arthur: “You noticed? Yes, I like it a lot!” Because he’s the best cook! See! It says so!

Brid: “Good. It suits you very well.”

Arthur: “Don’t say that kind of thing, bro!”

Brid: Bro. 

Lily: BROOOOOOOO

Brid: “Sorry, I couldn’t help it, bro. He is so cute.” 

Val: And then, we get into the hentai. 

Arthur: “I’ll take your things and put them away. Why don’t you rest in the living room while I go get dinner?”

Brid: *regular voice* “You’re right. Just let me take my phone. I search my pockets but can’t find it. Takuya has a strange expression. It looks like something is bothering him.”

Val: He stole our phone. 

Lily: Why are you so suspicious of him?!

Brid: “I completely forgot where I put it. It’s annoying, since I’d like to read the news.”

Arthur: “Don’t worry. I got you a newspaper. I know you like reading the news in the evening, so I buy you a newspaper every night! And you know why.”

Val: ... why? 

Lily: Beating up spiders? Garfield style? 

Arthur: “Screens poison couples. They cause addiction and isolation.”

Brid: “Yes, I know. That’s why we have no TV or computer.”

Lily: ... 

Val: ... 

Arthur: ... 

Brid: ... 

Lily: Uh, what the fuck? 

Arthur: Are we in some kind of abusive relationship?

Val: ... Yeah, what the fuck? No phone, no TV, no computer... are we being held hostage?

Lily: Okay, maybe you were right not to trust this guy. 

Arthur: “Anyway, the only person I want to see or talk to is you, Bro.”

Brid: Aw, thanks, bro! 

Arthur: You’re my best bro, bro!

Brid: I love you bro! 

Arthur: I love you too, bro! 

Brid: “You always say sweet words to evade the issue. You’re lucky it works pretty well.”

Arthur: “Stop teasing me!” Okay, like.... I don’t like him. Already. He says sweet words to evade the issue, of no screens, and him probably stealing our phone. 

Val: Seriously, look up Idiot Plot on TVTropes, okay? Because this is an Idiot Plot. 

Lily: Seriously. 

---------

Brid: “I forget a lot of things, because I have amnesia.”

Lily: Amnesia? Okay, this is bullshit-

Brid: I actually looked this one up. It’s called anterograde amnesia. You can’t form new memories. 

Lily: Oh, like Soren Sprocket from AA6!

Brid: Yeah, like him. 

Lily: I knew that was a real thing, I just wasn’t sure what it was called. Still don’t trust this guy. 

Val: Yeah, me neither. 

Arthur: “Here’s your lemonade. Look, I even put a straw in it to make a festive atmosphere. It’s your favorite color.”

Lily: ... wow, that’s, uh... 

Val: I hate this guy. So much. 

Arthur: Like can you imagine how sad her life must be? Goes to work, doesn’t have screens at home, kisses her boyfriend over a straw that’s her favorite color... 

Val: I do not trust this guy. I just can’t.

Brid: “Hey, thanks for staying with me.”

Arthur: “Bro... ”

Brid: Bro, you mean everything to me. Like, no homo, bro, but, I’m so happy you’re here for me. 

Arthur: I love you too, bro. I’m never gonna leave you, because you mean everything to me, bro. 

Lily: Bro. 

Val: BROOOOOO

----------

Lily: Awwww, he’s feeding us now. Beef and potato stew? Licious. 

Brid: Y’know, I don’t understand why couples find it cute to feed each other. It’s like, have you ever tried to feed a baby? Like, they take it all fine till they’re like, 12 months, but once the baby develops teeth-

Val: Oh my god, I used to have to feed my cousins- they were like 4 at the time, and twins- I had to feed them some stew with green peppers, and they’d just knock it out of my hand, even if they wanted it. I got frustrated so easily and then made one of them cry when i shoved the spoon in too hard. You have to be really careful. 

Lily: ... Ouch.

Val: Yeah. Man, I felt so bad after I did that. But feeding kids once they grow teeth in is hard.

Arthur: And yeah, if you’re fed while you have teeth, it’s like... awkward. I don’t know, maybe I’m used to having food randomly shoved into my mouth with a larger bite than I eat. 

Brid: Oh, big mood, I hate it when people try to feed me with a bigger bite than’s usual for me. 

Lily: ... 

Lily: Am I the only one that actually likes being fed? With a spoon? 

Val: ... He’s absolutely feeding us dead bodies. I’m so sure of it. 

Lily: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

Val: I DON’T TRUST THIS BITCH HE’S PROBABLY LIKE A CANNIBAL OR SOMETHING

------------

Brid: “I lean against the wall to pick up the towel. Suddenly a part of the wall collapses, revealing a small hole. This part of the wall looks like it was sealed and then painted over.”

Val: DEAD BODY

Lily: ... Yeah probably. 

Arthur: Oh boy. 

Brid: “I peer through the hole, seeing pipes- and among them, a human head, legs, and torso.”

Val: HE CUT UP A BODY

Brid: “A corpse.” Val, look at the art. He did not cut up a body. 

Val: HE KILLED A BODY

Arthur: “Body” implies that it’s already dead. 

Val: HE KILLED A PERSON

Brid: There we go. 

Lily: Wait, so he killed a person? 

Brid: Who’s ‘he’?

Lily: ... Brid, you just said ‘He killed a person’. 

Brid: No, Val said that. 

Val: And you agreed with me. 

Brid: You never specified who ‘he’ was. 

Val: There’s only one other guy in the story. Takuya.

Brid: “He” could be God. 

Val: Does Mr. Shitty Teal Apron look like God to you? 

Arthur: You’re God. 

Val: DAMN RIGHT I’M GOD

Lily: ... Wait, what were we talking about? 

---------

Brid: “I saw a body in the bathroom.”

Arthur: “I think you just had a bad nightmare. Everything will be fine, don’t worry! I’ll take care of it after I do the dishes.”

Brid: “There’s a BODY in the BATHROOM and all you can think about is DISHES?!”

Arthur: “A healthy house begets a healthy mind. We must eliminate all kinds of nuisance to be at peace.” ... I don’t like this guy.

Lily: BOI

Val: HE MURDERED THAT BODY

Lily: DAMN RIGHT HE DID

Arthur: Oh boy. Th-Theories? 

Val: He’s a cannibal. He’s trying to get us to be cannibals too. That or he’s raising us like livestock to eat. Promised Neverland style. 

Lily: Zombie apocalypse. He’s trying to keep us sane. Only uninfected meat is humans. He wants to feed us meat. 

Arthur: ... He’s absolutely going to snap and try to kill us if we say we don’t love him. It’s going to be scary. 

Brid: ... Yeah, it’s fucked up, huh? 

---------

Brid: “I hear some strange sounds downstairs. Why is he cooking at this hour?”

Val: CANNIBALISM

Lily: YEAH

Arthur: TAKUYA DONT EAT PEOPLE

Brid: *stifling a giggle* “The noise sounds like a knife cutting something.”

Val: GUESS THAT BEEF STEW WASNT REALLY BEEF HUH

Lily: I THINK YOU’D KNOW WHAT BEEF TASTES LIKE 

Val: AMNESIA

Lily: GOOD POINT

Brid: “I pause for a moment, worrying he’ll be angry.”

Lily: HE LOCKED US IN A ROOM. FUCK HIM. 

Arthur: I SWEAR HE’LL SHOW UP AND BE COVERED IN BLOOD

Lily: OH GOD

Arthur: It’s like, we walk in, and he’s covered in blood, and he’s like- Naw, bro! I know you see all this blood on my chest, but calm down! It’s just pig blood, see? Was making some fresh pork for you, bro!

Brid: *cracking up* Aww, bro, it’s all over yourself! All over your sexy, manly arms!

Arthur: Yeah, bro. I need to wash this stuff off, but there’s too much and it’s all stuck to my hairy chest, bro!

Brid: I’ll help you, bro! Let’s take a shower together so we can clean it all off, bro! 

Arthur: Sounds awesome, bro! No homo, bro!

----------

Brid: Aaaaand there’s our big bloody boy. 

Lily: Please never say anything remotely like that again. 

Val: Try and explain your way outta this one, you fuck. 

Arthur: “Bro you had to stay in the room! Go back there now!”

Brid: “I push Takuya away and repress the urge to vomit. The air is filled with the disgusting stench of blood. The countertops are covered in red. Several garbage bags lie on the ground, filled with distinctive shapes.”

Val: Is he... not a cannibal?

Lily: Don’t ask me.

Arthur: “This person is a man who hung around you. He was bad, so I took control of things.”

Brid: “You killed a guy!”

Arthur: “I had to!”

Brid: “You’re crazy!”

Lily: As if that weren’t already clear from him throwing out all of our screens. 

Val: Yeah. Wait, didn’t they say she went to work? Doesn’t she get to see screens there?

Brid: “His eyes darken.”

Arthur: “Don’t say things like that. All of it. I did it for you.” Great, creepy eyes now. He’s gonna kill us next. Fuck.

Brid: “I feel a rush of adrenaline as I rush towards the entrance.”

Lily: GRAB A WEAPON!

Val: THAT BITCH HAS A KNIFE

Lily: OH FUCK

Arthur: D-Don’t yell!

Val: LIVING ROOM NOW

Lily: UNDER THE TABLE

Val: HE HAS A KNIFE

Lily: SHE HAS A TABLE

Arthur: “Bro, come here.”

Lily: RUN

Val: YEAHHHHH SHE GOT OUT

Brid: You guys are having way too much fun with this.

Lily: RUN FOR THE DOOR

Val: FUCK HE CAUGHT US- OH GOD HE’S CLOSE

Lily: AAAAAAAA WHY DOES THE GAME DO THAT

Arthur: Are you two okay?!

Val: No. We’re not. We hate this guy.

Lily: With a passion. 

Val: OH FUCK A CROSSROADS. BEDROOM OR BATHROOM

Lily: UHHHH. OH FUCK. BATHROOM. 

Val: Yeah, he’ll lock us in the bedroom!

Lily: GOOOO

(Arthur and Brid click the option while they’re enjoying Lily and Val’s shouting)

Brid: “I pick up a hair dryer.”

Lily: OHHH IS SHE GONNA STRANGLE HIM WITH THE HAIR DRYER?!

Val: FUCK YEAH GIRL

Lily: GO FOR IT BRO!

Val: Or... smack him. That works too, I guess. 

Lily: IN. THE FUCKING. BALLS. BITCH.

Val: TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!

Brid: “I run out.”

Lily: YEAH RUN BITCH RUN

Val: GET OUT THE WAY!

Lily: YEET OUTTA THERE SIS

Brid: “But something catches my ankle.”

Lily: AWWWWWW

Val: COME ON. FUCKING. YANDERE ASS. FUCKER

---------

Val: Aaaaand now we’re bound and gagged. 

Lily: This guy is the worst. I hate him. 

Brid: Seriously. 

Arthur: “If only things could go back to the way they were... ” he says, covered in blood, still trying to hide the belongings of the dead guy. “we would be so happy.”

Lily: Hate this guy. 

Arthur: “This man ruined everything.” OH MAN, I think he’s actually a yandere. Yeah, that makes him a yandere, right? Killing someone for his one true love? Or maybe he’s a good guy, who knows. Maybe. I don’t know. I think the creepy eyes aren’t, uh... helping his case.

Lily: Yeahhhh.... 

Arthur: “I’m sorry this all happened. It won’t happen again. Just please know that I’d do anything for you.”

Brid: THEN PERISH

Lily: OHHHHHH

Val: THEN PERISH YOU FUCKING CANNIBAL

Arthur: But he’s not even a cannibal... 

Lily: Close enough. 

Brid: “You’re not my boyfriend, you’re a thief!”

Arthur: “Does this mean... that the drug is no longer effective?” THAT SPRITE IS DOWNRIGHT TERRIFYING. OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS SMILE. I DO- I DO NOT LIKE THAT.

Brid: Yeah, that transition’s a bit scary, huh? 

Arthur: I’m going to have nightmares about that. 

Brid: You don’t have to look at his eyes. 

Lily: So he was drugging us. 

Brid: “In the depths of my memory, I see a man, not Takuya, embracing me tenderly. We went on dates and holidays together... but then I remember that he was the man whose face I saw in the wall.”

Arthur: Damn... That’s... evil. 

Brid: Fuck this guy. “You ruined my life!”

Arthur: “Don’t talk nonsense- it was him! You were happy with me. But he didn’t deserve you. You should be happy for everything I did for you.”

Brid: “You killed my boyfriend and drugged me to make me think I had amnesia!”

Arthur: “The drugs were useful. I cooked them into everything I made for you. It made you think you went to work and came back at night. It was impressive.”

Val: Man, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a drug trip this bad.

Arthur: “We can go back to the way things used to be.”

Brid: “Go fuck yourself, asshole!”

Val: THATS MAH GIRL! YEAH GET EM

Lily: FUCK YEAH! 

Arthur: “Stop talking to me like that. You were much more docile in bed... ”........ Oh my god. What the fuck. That’s so fucked up. 

Val: I want him dead. 

Brid: I’m gonna kill this guy. Seriously, what an asshole, right? 

Val: So let me get this straight. He killed our boyfriend, kidnapped us, drugged us so we thought we were going to work every day and coming home to him, lied to us about being in a relationship for five years and r*ped us while we were out cold. 

Lily: Yeah, guess so. What the fuck, man. 

Val: ... Fuck this guy.

Arthur: I... really want to see this guy get justice hammered. 

Brid: “You’re crazy!”

Arthur: “Yes, I’m crazy! Crazy about you! But don’t you remember? You said you loved me too.”

Brid: “I could never love someone like you!”

Arthur: “You lied to me! Don’t toy with my feelings! This has to stop. I’m going to make sure you stay with me forever!”

Val: He’s gonna kill us. 

Brid: *trying not to laugh* Ohhhh yeah. 

Arthur: “Why didn’t I think of this before! It’s so romantic. They say making love unites bodies but only for a moment... how would you like to be a part of me forever?!”

Lily: Is he gonna do that thing in Black Butler where he’s gonna sew our bodies together?!

Arthur: Oh, GROSS. 

Val: ... That... happened in Black Butler? 

Lily: Yeah, it was a major plot point and everything. Like, the main villain was like, hey, let’s sew Ciel’s parents’ bodies together. To make a perfect human being. Union of male and female, y’know?

Val: ... Wow. Maybe I should watch it. 

Brid: I like that one better than what actually happens here.

Val: Wait, what?

Arthur: “I mean... eating you.”

Val: WAIT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE CANNIBALISM?!

Brid: ...

Val: BRID?

Brid: ...

Val: BRID.

Arthur: “Don’t worry, you’ll be happy inside me! I’m happy just thinking about it!”

Val: GETTING CONFIRMATION HE’S A CANNIBAL IS SOMEHOW SO MUCH WORSE THAN JUST SPECULATING ABOUT IT

Brid: “Please don’t do this, I beg of you-”

Val: I HATE THIS BRID

Arthur: “Oh, right. I never made dessert.”

Val: “Bad end: Cannibal Love.” Yeah, okay. So, uh, what the fuck, Bridget? What in the goddamn fuck was this? He ate us! 

Brid: I just really wanted to see your reactions to the cannibalism. 

Lily: You’re a monster. I’m afraid. 

Arthur: I enjoyed it. Sort of. 

Brid: I know. It was just for the reactions. 

Arthur: I will have nightmares, Brid. I hope you know that.

Brid: Takuya the evil cannibal yandere rapist isn’t real and can’t hurt you. 

Arthur: Takuya be like... there. On the title screen. Smiling at us. Only it’s creepier now that we know he’s a yandere. 

Brid: There is a true ending. But, uh, if you don’t want to see it-

Val: How do you get it?

Brid: Hold on, let’s get some water, and then we’ll have to restart the whole game pretty much... 

---------

Brid: Hey everyone, Ace Hang’s back, with some more My Darling, we got some snacks and water, and we’re gonna try for the true ending this time. 

Arthur: I’m not ready. I’m not ready. 

Lily: It’s okay, man. You’ve done great so far. Just a little bit more. 

Val: Yeah. Do it for us. Who wants to kill this bitch.

Arthur: Yeah! Okay, so uh...

Brid: You’re offered one choice at the beginning of the game that’s like, “I love you!“ or “You doubt me?“. We chose “I love you” the first time. If you pick “You doubt me” you get the true ending. Kind of out of place, but hey. And for the other events in the game, like us finding the body in the bathroom, finding Takuya cutting up a dead body, and the big chase scene where we try to run away from the cannibal yandere, are all the same.

Val: Unfortunately.

Brid: Yeah... Anyway, let’s get back into the action. He’s got us tied up on the couch right now.

Arthur: “I asked you if you loved me, and you never gave an answer. I want one now.“

Lily: Kind of a weird spot, yeah.

Arthur: “Despite everything, do you love me?“

Lily: NO

Val: FUCK NO

Brid: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Arthur: YOU HAVE MADE SOME VERY QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS MY GUY

Brid: “I don’t love you. I love the man you killed.”

Arthur: “Shut up about him!“

Brid: He threatens me with his knife.

Arthur: “I stabbed him a hundred times!“

Val: No ya didn’t, ya fuckin’ liar. You stabbed him 99 times. Bitch.

Lily: *dying of laughter*

Brid: “He’s leaning near my face while shouting. I kick him.“

Lily: YEAH GIRL!! WHOOO GET EM

Val: FUCK HIM UP! FUCK HIM UP!

Brid: “I catch the knife in between my fingertips and cut my ties.“

Val: Wait, what?

Val: Wait, wait, hold up. If you caught a butcher knife with your hands, you’d be-

Lily: Listen, if your wrists are bound like this,*holds up hands with wrists together* you could potentially rotate your wrists enough to- see, like that.

Val: No, no. That wouldn’t work. See, your hands would be so tightly bound that-

Brid: What are you guys talking about?

Val: If your hands were bound, could you use a knife to cut your ties?

Brid: BDSM fanfics wouldn’t tell me that one.

Lily: You read BDSM fic?

Brid: You don’t need to know that.

Arthur: What if she cut her legs first, pressed the knife up between her legs, and cut her arms like that?

Val: Great idea, but unrealistic. See, your sneakers aren’t exactly- and especially your bare feet won’t-

Brid: It just happens, okay. Come on, get back to the game. “I see him standing up, quickly grab the keys, and run away.“

Lily: Jesus, how hard did she brain him? If I brained an attacker, I literally would not be able to escape like that.

Val: He fucking deserved it. That’s why.

Arthur: He deserved every ounce.

Brid: “I run out of the house, my breath shaky. I stumble around, scared. There is no one around. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder-“

Val: STAB HIM

Lily: SHANK THAT HOE

Val: SHANK HIM

Arthur: IT’S PROBABLY JUSTIFIABLE SELF DEFENSE

Brid: “It’s a neighbor and her big dog.“

Lily: Oh thank God. I mean, dog. Oh thank dog.

Arthur: Doggo.

Lily: Okay, so is my zombie apocalypse theory true?

Val: Who has a dog in the apocalypse?!

Lily: “Hey, I was worried about you! Did you move? I saw a stranger enter and leave your house a few times.“

Val: A few times?

Arthur: So basically, he’s only been keeping up the delusion for a few weeks at most.

Val: Why do you say?

Arthur: Groceries. Assuming he had enough money.

Val: ?

Arthur: Beef goes bad in four days usually.

Val: Oh.

Arthur: Potatoes last forever though. And several times means he’s not been there for more than, like, a year.

Val: Oh, well that’s good, at least.

Arthur: I mean, it’s still bad.

Val: Yeah, but like, it’s good that it wasn’t for five years.

Lily: Yeah.

Brid: “Quick, we need to get out of here! He’s coming!“

Lily: “Who’s coming?“

Brid: “The dog starts growling. In the distance a shadow detaches itself from the wall. I recognize him. He’s coming towards us.”

Lily: “What the hell does he want?!“

Brid: “I can’t move. Takuya approaches us with a threatening look.“

Lily: “Stay away or I’ll set my dog on you!“

Val: *ARF*

Arthur: “Bro, come here. We’re going home.“

Brid: “No way, you murderer!“

Lily: Bitch, I’m real close to setting my dog on you!

Val: *ARF ARF ARF*

Lily: How are you doing that?

Val: I’m a man of many talents.

Lily: Sure you weren’t a furry once?

Val: Shut up.

Arthur: “So you hate me? I thought I was doing the right thing... Why don’t you love me? Why can’t you see that I have so much to offer you?“

Lily: Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you kidnapped us and stabbed our boyfriend?!

Val: Mood.

Brid: “How could I love a person like you?!“

Arthur: “I wanted to build you a better life! I saw you crying on a bench once, and I wanted to save you. Every tear you shed stabbed my heart. Come home, and we’ll pick up the pieces together.“

Lily: If Takuya knew what sin was he wouldn’t care.

Brid: “We’re done here.“ “Police sirens ring out. Takuya looks frantically in their direction and then mine before taking off at top speed. The neighbor tries to restrain her dog-“

Val: *ARF*

Brid: “... from running after him. A police car enters the alleyway.“

(screen fades to white)

Arthur: ... Oh, is that it?

Brid: “A year later, I changed the course of my life. I moved away and began making new memories, but this experience will forever remain in the back of my mind. But I could never forget that man. He’s always there in my tainted memories. One day, I received a letter from an anonymous source:“

Brid: “I only ask that you forgive me.“

Val: ...

Arthur: ...

Lily: ...

Brid: ...

Val: YOU CANNIBALIZED US IN THE OTHER ENDING YOU ABSOLUTE FUCK. YOU YANDERE FUCK.

Lily: Is he out of prison?! How’d we get the note?! What the fuck?! What the Cinnamon Toast fuck is going on here?!

Arthur: Why. Would. Anyone. Forgive you?! What, do you want a sequel where you kidnap her a second time?!