#yes i am a wimp dhshshdhshsd

[aris-ink]

I don't really know how to say this... Maybe, hopefully, it won't come off as shocking news, since I've been working through the requests so slowly... But I think I need a break. I don't know.

I pushed myself and ignored all the advice of taking it easy, because it's not like I am forcing myself to write when I don't want to - I really want to. But it's just not happening.

I've tried really hard to ignore people and not let them get to me, but I've had a lot of stress to deal with lately, and I'm really tired. I think everyone has their limits. I lost a lot of motivation to write here, at times it just feels pointless when someone can shoot all that effort down with one little click. It's not that I don't see or appreciate all of you who send in your comments, messages and support, I do and it means so much to me. I'm just really tired.

I don't know what to do to get this exhaustion off my chest. I didn't think I'd be this upset over the last fic being reported, but like I said, everyone has their limits, and this isn't about one fic. That was just the final tipping point, after all the other reports and nasty anons and constant problems. It was especially upsetting because I wrote it after three weeks of being in a really bad state and not being able to create anything. And I was really happy to finally get back into it, only for all the work to be instantly - well, like I said - shot down. All engagement instantly died.

On top of that, these things made me realize I haven't really been satisfied with anything I've written lately. It all just feels rushed and forced, because I don't wanna make anyone wait, because I suffocate my own creativity through constant guilt due to the topics I explore. I haven't really breathed or written freely in ages. I miss the days when I wrote fics like sleeping, little red, family secrets, without feeling bad about it, without forcing myself.

Like I said I am not sure how to help myself and what to do to feel better, but stressing over all my wips definitely doesn't help. Thank you so much for all your love and support and I hope you can all continue to bear with me like you always did while I get myself together ❤️