#yes doesnt necessarily have to be about the genital situation

[atthecenterofeverything]

no one really seems to agree on what constitutes trans liberation. 

and all marginalized communities fighting for acceptance and rights have to deal with opposite interests within the communities but like... i think that for the trans movement it’s true in many important ways.

down to the language we use and the language we want cis people to use, mostly because there is no language that can be used for most trans people and that won’t be detrimental/dysphoria-inducing for a good chunk of the rest of the community.

a post was going around a few months ago that said “most trans guys get dysphoric when you talk about eating them out, so in doubt you should probably say “sucking their dick””. and like, ok. but I also know a really big number of pre-op trans guys who insist on not referring to their genitals as a dick and who get dysphoric when this happens.

same thing when we’re talking about childhood. i know a lot of trans people who talk about their childhood/the time before they came out as their assigned gender, because they consider that’s who they were back then. I also know a lot of trans people who never ever do that, because they say they’ve always been their true gender.

same thing, of course, when talking about dysphoria. centering trans-activism on dysphoria and dysphoria-management is life-saving for dysphoric people. it also can make it harder for non-dysphoric people to access other forms of care. neither of those populations should be alienated but this is a very fine, and very hard, line to walk.

and it goes on and on ! and it limits the way we can talk about ourselves. you’ll see a lot of trans people saying “of course there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t identify with that narrative, but the majority does”. but who is the majority? the majority is your circles isn’t necessarily the majority in others. 

the point of this post isn’t to bring any answers. i just wish we could talk about it more, because i think a lot of the intra-community debates and fights arise from a refusal to acknowledge that yes, it is difficult, and yes it is frustrating, and no, there aren’t any easy answers. what might be good for a trans person might not be good for another, even with all factors and social situation equal.

it’s easy to use blanket statements like “support trans people”, “gender abolition” or “respect”. it’s hard to know what they really mean and how to apply it to reality. it doesnt mean that a person who needs different things from the trans liberation movement is wrong, or “self-hating”, or a “bootlicker”, or “seeking attention”. we could try being a little more understanding with each other.