#yes I'm still alive and nobody missed me but I'm back for now

[firelightmlpoc]

This is Pansear (if you want proof, look at my pinned blog; I'm well aware that there are a lot of imposters out there). I wish to say thank you for being open minded while also acknowledging that- yes- I did fuck up at times. I didn't treat Azriel the best. I was selfish towards the MAP collaborators. I wasn't a particularly great person in general- all that I admit, and I have my own separate posts for those. Overall, I'm sorry.

The harassment was too much and the screenshots were obviously fake. It wasn't fair to me. It wasn't fair to anyone either including those who believed were fake too, even to future potential victims of allegations and former victims of harassment campaigns. I left not in admittance of guilt, but to everything else that has boiled over (again, I detailed this in a post).

I know there's people beaming to know that I'm alive and well (and of course, people who are angry that I'm not). I just want to say that I'm sorry for having to leave everyone in the dark for so long, and that I was basically a POS back then.

It saddens me as well that this whole situation not only affected me- it has affected most of the fandom. It has affected the other artists, who no longer feel safe and comfortable. It has affected my friends, who missed me and feel lost in the dark. It has affected my fans, who worry about me and feel so conflicted about everything. It has affected friend groups who are distanced in their conflicts.

Even for the things I didn't do, I still felt horrible. There were no winners in the end, and any winner I could describe are those vile people hiding behind anons who have hurt the most.

People can already predict that I will never return and that is definitely the case. Not just for the sake of my well-being, but I believe it's for the best for everyone in general. It's been far too long that I danced through the harsh weathers- some strange fucked up game of ping pong, and it's time to put it to rest. I don't care if people will hate me still, all I care about is everyones' safety and for those who have been hurt to heal from this.

I have no real say on the Emily side of things. Indeed what she did to Azriel was irresponsible, but she doesn't deserve the harm and harassment she's got and been getting. Nobody does. Not even my calloutters and my harassers. Looking at their responses and posts just makes me feel bad. I can't help but feel sorry for them.

I hope you yourself are doing well. To all others reading this, I hope you all are too. The fandom isn't the same but I know love can persist somewhere. I am leaving it all up to you to make this place so much better, and that one day everyone can laugh again.

For now, I'm hoping things can rest.

I’m glad to hear you’re doing alright. And as you’ve said: Yes, you have done things wrong, but the actions taken against you were far beyond the pale for what you actually did.

An apology backed by action towards self-betterment is a good apology, & is what you’ve shown to be doing, though I truly wish that the cost you’ve had to pay for this all wasn’t so steep. I hope that you’re still able to find enjoyment in your art still, & hope that you’re able to heal from all of this, even if it takes a good bit of time to do so.

May the path you walk no longer hurt to stand on, & may you find yourself at peace with all of it some day.

[edgeray]

Ray! 🍅 anon here, I said I wasn't going to request but there's one idea I've been really, REALLY itching at.

So you know how you reblogged "cold nights" by beiibeii? Yeah about that... I think I cooked an angst idea of this on a related tangent? (If you choose to write this, ofc)

How about Mother!Reader who is faced with the same scenario of Arle neglecting them to the point that she loses hope in their relationship? Think of the angst when the children constantly remind their Father of important dates but she's away or somehow missing most of them because of work. To the point reader just implies for them to stop trying and accepts the fact that they married Arlecchino but is now simply the Knave's wife? Like even the children can see them losing hope which is why they sometimes lowkey plead with their Father to actually pay more attention to Mother. Mother marrying Father means that Mother is strong but behind their strong facade you can see their sadness! You can feel their loneliness! And their sense of isolation and sorrowful acceptance of their new reality. And Arle does not pick up on the subtle signs until it's Too Late. Like. Reader in the coffin Late.

And as the Knave's wife Reader does need to undertake missions like in "I am Fine in Your Arms" but because reader has lost so much hope in living a wife outside of being the Knave's wife, reader does not make an effort to return alive. The angst of the burial, maybe the children blaming their Father etc. The really young ones aside, I don't think they would be actively angry with their Father, just very, VERY, disappointed. HotH would lose its warmth for a while before Lyney, Lynette and Freminet try their best to build it back (but of course, it never becomes as warm as it used to be)

Whether or not you choose to give this one a happy ending is up to you, but on my end the only happy ending that I cooked up for them is that Arle wakes up in the next Samsara with all these memories of losing Reader and prevents the relationship from going South in the first place. (Bonus points if Reader also has the memories and compares it to how they were treated by Arle previously, makes a comparison, and goes "How I wish this were my Arle" without knowing that it actually IS their Arle, just acknowledging she fucked up BIG time and is now making heavy amends for it. and Arle Knows because of that look that Reader gives her, sorrow and joy in a complex blend.)

...I think by now you can tell that I'm an angst writer too HAHSHHSHA Nobody leaves my fics without getting a knife and I promise it's just for the plot (like we always say).

I've still been keeping up with your writings (Beauty and The Beast actually fits, holy-) (Someone send Siren!Arle a whole farmhouse of ham for her consumption please) and yes I agree that you've been pumping out bangers after bangers. (I mean. Given that, you probably can afford to be a little indulgent? If writing this much quality about your muse doesn't give you the OK to put your hands all over them, abs and all, what does?)

As always, prioritise your sanity and schedule first, stay well rested and hydrated!

Lost Warmth

(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)

A/N -  Link to my momma's (@beiibeiii) piece right here. If I see you read this before reading the masterpiece I just linked, know that I am a very disappointed axolotl. 😔  Anyways, you might be able to tell just how long this has been sitting in my inbox… haha… my bad guys. T^T. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write more angst. :3 And thank you for the additional comments 🍅 anon. I do have quite a soft spot for siren! arle, seeing that she was my first request (and requested from my momma :3). Wanted this to be a little longer, but I do have to wake up earlier tomorrow, so this is what you get T^T. Hopefully it's still good. Content warnings / info - angst, character death (duh), reader is referred to as ‘Mother’ but is otherwise GN!, 1.4k words

Cold is a feeling you've long gotten used to. Cold is your husband's dismissal of your existence, with every interaction ending with her blunt words and back towards you, leaving you with a crumbling heart. Cold are the long nights as you anxiously wait for Arlecchino's appearance for a candlelit dinner you spent half the day preparing, only for her never to return until you fell to exhaustion on the couch, a flower bouquet that remains unreceived in your hands. Cold is the creeping loneliness in the late hours of the night, when you've finally grown tired of anticipating someone that will never come, and returned to bed alone. Cold is the way you shiver underneath the thickest of blankets, no one's body warmth to sink into, no one's softly whispered words into your ear to drift you to sleep. Cold is when instead of your husband, only dim stars, a bottle of liquor, and the tears that stream your face join you in bed.

When was the last time you had felt warmth? 

You recall when the Knave first started courting you, how gentlemanly she was for such a rumored cruel Harbinger. You were first just a caretaker of the House of the Hearth, this small orphanage which you quickly found to be home for you. You couldn't help but adore the endearing children, watching as you slowly became a staple in this family. Despite your best efforts of hiding it, Arlecchino noticed when you snuck in the occasional pastry or cake from the town's most lavious bakery for the children, out of your own paycheck as well. It was then, your husband admitted, when she first fell for you. It had taken her months of encouragement from her ‘pestering’ children before she asked you out, and it was impossible to not fall for her charm.

How could you not? Not when she held you like you were her world. Not when she viewed you higher than the Tsaritsa herself. Not when her touch was heavenly, her words silky and sweet. When she proposed to you, your heart leapt with levity, and you thought your life was perfect now. A warm house, fitted with warm parents, that was what you had had, you had never felt so content. 

Then came the long nights. Nights when she trudged home later than usual, where she fell asleep without a word but sunk into your arms still. Then she started forgetting, forgetting about the dates and birthdays, and anniversaries more and more. At first, you chalked it up to her demanding Harbinger duties, but as time grew and the excuses started to run out, the perfect life you knew was crumbling. 

You became aware of this two years after your marriage when you had been preparing dinner for the two of you once she arrived home, slow cooking a steak since the early hours of the morning. Just as you exited the kitchen, you heard some children surrounding your husband before she left for another Harbinger meeting, telling her that you had a surprise for her once she came home and how excited you were for her to enjoy a new recipe you created. Your heart swelled with hope and appreciation for your children, especially when Arlecchino promised she would return in time. 

You should have known better.

You ate your tear-ridden steak alone and went to bed, leaving the steak out for her for whenever she returned home. Just like how you fell asleep, you woke up without your husband's presence, and when you arrived at the kitchen, the meat and the note besides the plate were untouched. 

You tried to eat the cold steak for lunch as well. You threw it away at the first bite. That day, you gathered your children, pleading them not to ‘pester’ Father with more reminders, as she was very busy. All that you gained back from the children was pitied expressions, and the agony in your chest worsened. Your children could pity you, but your husband couldn't? Even with your husband's coldness, you still carried out your Mother role, if only for the children. You cannot deny that the children's antics helped you forget the ever-present void inside you, caused by Arlecchino. 

You never learned the reason for Arlecchino's behavior, why she had grown so cold towards you. Now, you suppose, you would never know.  

Red fills your hazy vision as you lay on the ground, your entire body aching and fatigued, desperate gasps for air while your heart pounds in your eardrums. Your side was sliced, and the crimson liquid quickly poured out of the wound while you tried to stop the bleeding, but to no avail. 

This is your end, you think to yourself as you weakly turn on your side, every nerve in your body protesting against the movement. Your bloodied hand comes into view, your engagement and wedding ring gleaming slightly underneath the blood. The rings bring your thoughts to Arlecchino–oh, how you imagine the common disappointment in her otherwise apathetic expression, disappointment at your mission's failure. Your eyes bubbled and blurred with tears, vivid memories of your wedding flashing through your mind. The wedding ring is beautiful, still polished with that bold scarlet, the same color of her eyes, the same eyes you could never stop drowning in.

Would she even know your absence? Would she ever acknowledge you, treat you properly like her partner even if you did return? You doubt it. Did you want to return a cold bed, to a husband that does not love you, to a house no longer warm? 

It's warm. 

Your body feels like fire courses through your veins as you feel inexplicably hot, yet it's a welcomed heat. It's the first time you've felt this, but it feels familiar, comforting, like a hearth, and you want nothing more than to surrender to it. It soothes your heartbeat and calms your breath, easing your body as if you were to sink into the most plush of beds, swallowed by the thickest of blankets. The warmth coils around you, wrapping you like a cozy embrace, evoking you to sleep. Your eyes flutter shutter, a faint smile plastered on your lips.

It feels just like Peruere's arms. 

— 

Arlecchino receives a letter addressed to her on the third day you've been sent on a mission. The contents make her drop the paper, and she rushes outside, without an additional word, leaving the House. 

The children do not see her until she returns late into the night, a body wrapped in cloth in her arms. Arlecchino raised her children to be smart, to be attentive, to be logical. Whose body it is, they realize with little difficulty. 

The children weep that night. Arlecchino does not. How can she, when her source of emotions is gone? 

The burial takes place soon afterwards. As your body is placed into the ground, Arlecchino can feel the weight of her children's stare on her back. The charged tension between her and the children is palpable without words. She cannot discern which of the two reactions cut deeper. The seething fury underneath the oppressive grief for the young ones, having to lose another parent, or the crushing dismay inhabited by the older ones, specifically the twins and Freminet. 

Their thoughts are clear, even when none of them speak out loud. 

How could you fail Mother?

The House of the Hearth no longer suits the orphanage's name, not with your missing presence. There is no warmth, no matter how much the trio tries to fuel a lost flame. Even with Arlecchin's pyro vision, it is futile.

Arlecchino stands before your gravestone, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in her hand, and she rests it beside the other bouquets by your grave. Six bouquets in total, for each day after your burial. 

“For all the flowers, I should have given you, my love,” she whispers as she addresses you, glancing up to the heavens. The last two words make her feel like a fraud, undeserving of calling you hers, when she had clearly never shown so. 

Arlecchino, the Knave, the Fatui Harbinger, does not plead, does not beg, does not kneel. However, her knees drop to her dirt, and she grovels. “Please… wait for me one more time, my dear. Once I meet you again, I promise I'll never leave you alone, I'll never let you out of my arms again.”

There is no reply. 

Arlecchino feels cold. 

[daengtokki]

hi again! ~

i'd like to request yandere/obsessive seungmin. it's a concept that's been eating me alive for the past few days!

if this falls outside your comfort zone, please feel free to ignore! ❤️✨

love your blog! okay bye ~ 🥰🫰🏽

Thank you for being so patient! 🤍 This flavor of Seungmin is a first for me, so I definitely spent a lot of time overthinking. Hope you enjoy him!

Yandere!Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 5.2k

rating: explicit/18+

contains: manipulation, a little stalking, humiliation/degradation, choking (sexual & non sexual), reader is a little into it. overall typical male yandere things, so please keep that in mind when reading...

. ✦ . ✦ . ✦ . ✦ .

He isn’t taking anymore input on the matter. Seungmin is done, he’s standing, and he’s ready to go. He puts his hands in his pockets and waits impatiently, and you can already see what’s happening between his legs. He’s still soft, but he pulls the front of his sweats tight so you can better see what you’re obviously staring at.

“Come on…it’s all yours, remember?”

. ✦ . ✦ . ✦ . ✦ .

Seungmin watches you closely from his side of the table—arms crossed, legs spread open. You can see the soft flesh of his inner thigh peek out from his shorts, and when he moves, it moves, and staying on your side of the table gets a little more difficult with every passing moment. You hardly know him, and yet...this is tough. It's been four weeks since you met, and that in itself seemed like pure luck.

He looks at you like he has you all figured out.

. ✦ .

He was here, in this cafe, waiting patiently on a date that definitely stood him up. An hour had gone by since he arrived, and you watched him sit there, sipping his coffee, checking his phone...wringing his hands. It was obvious what had happened before you worked up the nerve to go over there, but you did. You abandoned the laptop and the work you'd been mostly ignoring (to look at him), and you cautiously walked closer. Had the cafe been any busier, you might not have, but there was nobody there to see you embarrass yourself except for him.

He smiled at you immediately when he noticed you walking toward him, but he was still surprised when you stopped and stood there, thinking of what to say. Even though you went over it in your head for the last twenty minutes, you were still stuck on an opener.

Seungmin spoke first, in perfect english, and his voice was so soft and pretty. "Hello, are you getting a lot of work done? You look very busy over there."

"Yes," you laughed under your breath, "I'm sorry to bother you—"

He shook his head, "No...not, um...you're not bothering me. I'm not busy," his eyes drop to the napkin he'd been tearing into pieces.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"I was, but I don't think they're going to show up"

You were right. Stood up. Whoever decided to not show up was missing out on a very pretty face. "Would it be too..." you switched to Korean very briefly, "Can I join you?"

He nodded quickly, and his smile grew a little, "yes, I don't think my date will be interrupting us."

"I'm sorry they didn't show up"

"I was feeling very down, but I think I'm better now...my name is Seungmin."

. ✦ .

Lucky.

He clears his throat and bounces his knee, "what did you wanna talk about?"

"Us"

"Yeah? I like us. We can talk about us.”

Still he sounds so sweet, so smooth.

The shy, well mannered boy at the cafe isn't here, though. Actually, he wasn't even at the cafe. You were both polite and respectful, but he matched your flirting perfectly, and you were both calm and reserved…until you took a walk an hour later and he fucked you in the park.

The sun had just set, and almost everyone had cleared out when you felt his knuckles drag up the back of your arm, and there was no denying it—you wanted it from the moment you laid eyes on him. And you did exactly what you imagined: hung on desperately to his shoulders, gripped his neck, dug your nails into his back as he held your thighs apart and fucked you slowly. You let him fill you up—you watched him slowly pull out, and felt his cum start to leak before getting on your knees and begging him for more. And he gave it to you.

Afterward he walked you home, and you invited him up, because you didn’t want to let him go just yet. There was no more sex, but he kissed you and touched like he already loved you.

“Are you mine?” He whispered into your ear as he kissed and bit at your neck, . “Hm, yeah, you are…I want you.”

“Lucky me. I want you, too.”

--

He leans back even further and stretches his arms over his head. A pale line of his tight stomach peeks out from under his shirt, and you watch it like you haven’t seen it before—haven’t touched it, haven’t tasted every inch of it.

“This was fun, but I’m not sure it’s gonna work”

The fall of his face is so fast, so dramatic. You didn’t think he would be so surprised, to be honest. It’s only been a month, but nearly every day together is enough time to figure out that things just don't fit.

“Not going to work?” He sits up and runs his palms roughly down his thighs, pulls at his shorts. “We work great, and we have fun. I’d like to keep having fun."

Breaking things off is hard because of the fun. The sex is too good, and it’s been blurring your judgement the entire time. Even now, all you can think about is getting on your knees for him, and you feel like today might end with that regardless of what happens. But Seungmin is everywhere; he’s always the first and last notifications on your phone, and it doesn’t stop at all in between. Maybe he means well, but you’re exhausted.

“I like our fun, too. But Seungmin…I need some space. We both need space before we burn this thing out.”

He rubs the back of his neck, and his eyes wander around your apartment. The look on his face is familiar, because it’s the same one that he had before you approached him four weeks ago. Upset, a little confused.

“I can take a break. So…what, no sex for a few days?"

You almost say yes. “I think we need more time than that.” This is you trying to be smart, but you don’t want to be smart, you want to do what you usually do with your relationships; let them run their course even though you know things will get bad, and someone will definitely get hurt. No, you want to be stupid...you want him to fuck you senseless right now.

Seungmin stands and adjusts his shirt over his shoulders, stretches his neck. “Okay…got it.”

Your heart thumps a little more as he approaches.

“You want me to go?”

Eye contact is hard to hold. His stare is so intense, and he’s so handsome...too handsome. The little nod you give him takes so much effort, like his closeness puts some sort of spell on you.

He steps even closer, and gently grabs your wrist. “Okay, I’ll...go…” another step, “can I have a goodbye kiss?”

The smell of his breath and his cologne make you dizzy. Pliable. Seungmin laces his fingers with yours and squeezes, and before you even tell him yes, he’s kissing. He kisses like it could somehow make you change your mind. He pulls back and guides your hand to his hip, “you sure?” hoping you’ll move it to where he really wants it.

But you don’t. You squeeze, though. “Yeah.”

“Don’t make me beg”

“Seungmin…” you start, but you have no idea where you’re going from here.

“Please, I have no problem begging”

You watch your hand slide up and under his shirt, touch his warm skin. His muscles tighten under your touch as you stupidly, mindlessly tuck your fingers beneath the button of his jeans.

His hand closes around the back of your neck, “it’s all yours,” and pulls you close to him, “and you’re mine.”

“No…no,” you pull away and make as much space between you as possible. “You gotta go.”

“I did something wrong, right…what was it?”

Being a little too much isn’t wrong. Seungmin didn’t do anything wrong, not really. The problem is his intensity...his overzealous personality. He watches you're every move when he doesn't think you notice, and he glances at your phone when he sees something pop up. You purposely left it unlocked and unattended at one point, which you still feel shitty about, just to see if he would go through it, and he did. He keeps you away from others when you do manage to go somewhere other than the bedroom—everyone is percieved as a threat, no matter what. A few nights ago you left a club because Seungmin insisted there were too many single looking men there. He was right, but he had nothing to worry about. Seungmin doesn't seem to understand how you see him; he's handsome, and he's funny. Thoughtful, and a little too selfless...especially in the bedroom.

But at the same time, he's suffocating. Jealous, possessive, and obviously terrified of someone stealing you away from him. So, this is hard.

"I'm sorry, Seungmin. I really wish we—"

"Wish? You don't have to wish...you have all the power, right? Let me try...I wish we never met. I wish you never decided to take pity on me, and talk.

You're lost for words, but it doesn't matter...everything you needed to say was said. He grabs his jacket from the chair and heads for the door, but he takes his time putting his shoes on. If he's waiting on more from you; a change of heart, more of an explanation (you didn't really tell him the truth), he won't get it.

He looks back at you once more before opening the door, and he closes it behind him with a slam.

. ✦ .

Two days pass so quietly, and you're surprised. Maybe he figured out what the problem was, the main part of the problem, because you didn't completely lie to him. You are afraid of going hard and burning out, and that is exactly where the two of you were heading.

The office door pops open and your coworker peeks in, "your lunch is here!"

"No, I didn't order lunch"

"Well, it has your name on it, and a note! It says..." she starts to unfold it, but you're up and on her before she can read any of it.

"Okay, okay...lemme have it"

The smell coming from the bag gives you flashbacks to your first real night out with Seungmin. You told him how much you liked the spicy fried chicken he picked for you, and that you couldn't wait to have it again, and of course he remembered. You open the note and read:

잘 먹고 있길 바라 승민

"Dammit, Seungmin." You fold it back up and stick it in your back pocket. This could be his soft approach to communication, but you also wouldn't be surprised if he scheduled your Monday lunch before you broke up with him.

Maybe you should have told him the real issue. You don't believe you can change his unhealthy approach to a relationship, and talking to him about it might even make things worse, but you didn't give him that much of a chance.

The buzzing of your phone snaps you back to reality, and you're not surprised when you see his name. The message throws you a little, though.

who is he?

Who is he? There is nobody else. There wasn't before, or during your few weeks with him, and there is no one now. He thinks you broke things off to be with someone else; seemingly, his biggest fear. So now what do you do? Anwer him and tell him there is no he? Or ignore him and hope he doesn't text again? Or pay you a surprise visit.

Today, you ignore.

Later that night, you stare at the open message thread and think. Instead of typing a reply, you scroll up and read his past text messages:

No, don't be busy tonight...can come over and we can make a mess here for a change

You did go over that night, and the two of you made a mess of his bed, and then the couch. That was the last time you slept with him, and Seungmin whispered I love you over and over as he fucked you raw, over and over. It didn’t seem wrong at the time, because he makes your head fuzzy, but afterward…you’re positive he wanted to tell you again.

Morning! I missed you last night, I miss you right now...don't make me miss you anymore today

Only vaguely threatening in retrospect. But also cute.

I couldn't sleep last night, and I really wanted to call you. Can I do that?

Thoughtful, but needy. Seungmin knows how to balance his cute, his hot, and his…whatever he is—you have to give him that. A new message from him throws the thread back to the bottom, and you read it before you even realize it's there:

I know you're reading this...fucking answer me

. ✦ .

You expect to see him outside of your building when you leave the next morning. And then outside of work. He’s nowhere, and he doesn’t text again—not yet. Answering him is inevitable, but you have to think about your reply.

Home is two more blocks away when you feel the buzz of the notification. Maybe he’s outside the lobby door, waiting patiently. Your heart races when you see him typing again. You're not sure if you're nervous, or excited.

how was work?

I hope you had a good day…

You don’t have to look so nervous

He’s watching. And you're not nervous, because Seungmin doesn't scare you. The watching is a tiny bit unnerving, though.

I can forgive you if there is somebody else. It’s not too late to fix things.

The texts keep coming as you walk, get to the lobby, and finally make it to the elevator. Only then do you look at your phone again.

Get rid of him, come over

Or I’ll come to you

I miss your bed

I miss you

I know you miss me

It feels like a weird dream.

Seungmin, there was nobody else, and there is still nobody else. And yes, I’m here and I’m reading everything you send.

There is nothing to forgive, and nobody to get rid of. I won’t be coming over, and I’m sorry that you miss me.

It’s stupid, and it might make things worse, but you send it anyway. You make a drink and find yourself sitting at the counter, watching and waiting to see his three little dots start to bounce, but it takes longer than you expect. Now you're feeling impatient, and you're not sure why. You want him to reply; you want to know what else is going on his his head, and just as you drain your glass, he starts typing.

I know you miss me. Stop pretending this is what you want. You're acting like a cunt.

That stings a little. He moves quickly between anger and sadness, but he's also somehow getting everything right. You can't deny that you miss him, and you are turturing yourself...but you kind of like how badly he wants you.

I need you so bad

That's the last message he sends, and it’s the one that you dwell on after a few more drinks; after getting into bed and pulling up the photos in your camera roll—selfies you’ve begged for, screenshots from your video calls.

You’re one hundred percent thinking with your cunt right now. Looking at him—he takes the cutest selfies—and remembering how good he makes you feel, and how good you make him feel…not touching yourself is a challenge. You squeeze your thighs together, put some pressure where you need it. You decide you can't give in and get off to this, not tonight, but maybe giving into him wouldn’t be that bad. Besides, Seungmin needs you.

. ✦ .

I'm not going to give you another chance. You have today.

That sounds a little more threatening, but you're not sure if he means it how you're imagining it in your head. What happens after today? You expected to wake up to more than that, but you’re relieved you woke up less horny. The last month with him is enough of an explanation for you, as far as why and how his weird, slightly unhinged texting got you so riled up last night.

But you’re only less horny. And you might text him back over your morning coffee.

Yeah, you definitely will.

What happens after today?

He starts typing immediately, but then he stops. A few seconds later, he starts again. Maybe he didn’t think it through well enough yet. Still, you’re on the edge of your seat.

Do you think I’m going to tell you over the phone? No, I need to see you.

He’s smart, you already know that. He has a big brain, and a big dick, and you thought for a while he might also have a big heart. Or you hoped.

Alone

Alone, of course. No coffee shop talk. But if he’s sentimental enough, he might agree to it.

Why don’t we just meet at our table?

He doesn’t respond quickly. He’s considering it…wondering if it’s isolated enough to get his point across. But you’ve offered to talk to him again, and that’s good enough.

okay…when you’re free

Thoughtful. Luckily, you’ve already called work and told them you needed to take a personal day.

I’ll meet you there in an hour

. ✦ .

You’re late, on purpose. Seungmin is sitting inside at your table, head in his hands, staring into his drink. He looks tired and angry, and you expected a text by now, asking why you aren’t there. As soon as the door opens, he looks for you, and he tries to keep a straight face as you approach.

“You’re late”

“I’m sorry”

There’s already a latte waiting for you on the table—caramel, steamed extra hot.

“…uh, I’m sorry,” he says it so quietly, you barely hear it. “For what I said yesterday.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Yes, I miss you…I do. I can’t think straight knowing you have someone else.”

“You were watching, did you see me with anyone else? And I mean when you called me a cunt.”

Seungmin doesn’t answer, but you assume that is what he’s really apologizing for. He’s fidgeting with his cup, and you see the same version of him that was here the day you met. The same sweet boy you couldn’t resist.

“I miss you, too”

“You do?” He perks up and clenches his drink.

“Yes, but you’re a lot to handle. You were a lot before yesterday.”

“Please, I promise I’ll be better at this. I do love you, I really do.“ He reaches out for your hand, and you let him take it.

“Seungmin, you haven’t known me long enough to even know that”

“Maybe not, but I do. I can prove it to you.”

“What happens after today? What if I leave here…what if I don’t take you home with me?” More silence, but his face changes. It’s not so soft anymore. “I don’t believe you’re going to just disappear.”

“I won’t”

“Why do you want me so much?”

“Why do you deny how much you want me?”

You try not to look too surprised, but you’re pretty certain he can still read you. Instead of answering, you take a long sip of your coffee. Seungmin does the same.

“Thank you for the lunch yesterday”

“I hope it was as good the second time. We should do that again.”

That was the only dinner date you’ve had. Everything else was mostly isolated; here, the park…but mostly sex. Seungmin doesn’t seem like the type for traditional dates, but maybe it’s because you didn’t get all of the fucking out of your system yet—both of you.

“Okay…” you start, but you feel like you’re making a mistake even as the words form and come out of your mouth. “Take me out tonight.”

He smirks. The look on his face is a little condescending, but relieved at the same time. His smile grows until you can see all of his teeth, and his cheeks turn pink. It’s a good look on him. You really hope you’re not making a mistake, because you’d love to look at him like this all the time.

“Six...Seven? We can meet wherever we decide to go.”

Seungmin slowly shakes his head. The smile is still plastered on his face. “At seven? No, no you’re not going anywhere, I’m hungry now. We can get food later.”

His voice drops, and the drop in your stomach feels so good. Your thigh twitches, and the pulse in your clit is too much.

“And your apartment is closer”

He isn’t taking anymore input on the matter. Seungmin is done, he’s standing, and he’s ready to go. He puts his hands in his pockets and waits impatiently, and you can already see what’s happening between his legs. He’s still soft, but he pulls the front of his sweats tight so you can better see what you’re obviously staring at.

“Come on…it’s all yours, remember?”

You nod as you pull your eyes away and look at his face.

“Let me make you feel good,” he takes a step closer and rubs his finger under your chin, “I know you’re already getting nice and wet for me.”

“Yeah,” you sigh as his finger traces over your lips, and you are…you start to ache for him. Your legs shake as you get to your feet, but Seungmin grabs you by the arm and holds you. “Yeah, let’s go.”

The whole walk back, he’s on you, holding tight like he expects you to change your mind and run. But that’s not going to happen. Your head is swimming, and you can only think of what he’s going to do when he gets you alone. You’ve gone this long without sex, but your downtime was still full of dirty texts, photos, telling each other in extensive detail what you wanted to do to each other next time.

His hand slides under your shirt and up your back once you’re in the elevator, and just as it slides back down to grab your ass, the doors open, and you lead him out with his hand still gripping you.

“Take this off,” he pulls your shirt over your head and tosses it on the ground.

“We’re almost there…Seungmin.” You’re spun around and pushed hard against the wall. One hand is on your throat, and the other unbuttons your jeans. “Seungmin—“

He shushes you, kisses you softly, and unzips, “pull them down for me…” You tug at each side until he has enough room to slip his hand between your thighs, and he smiles as he slides his fingers back and forth, collecting as much of you as he can. “Good girl, so wet for me.” He pulls back out and sucks his fingers into his mouth.

“Minnie…my door is right there”

“I know. Take them off.”

The pressure on your throat increases until they drop, and then he rewards you with another kiss. The cool air on your nearly naked body sets goosebumps off all over you, and you shiver. He tugs once at his sweats and you watch his cock slowly appear, and it bounces as he frees it completely. The shine of his pre-cum makes you throb and whimper, and for a moment, you forget where you are.

He grabs your hips and turns you, and now he has you by the back of your neck, cheek against the wall. There’s nothing to hold onto here, and you can’t reach for him, so you set your palms flat against the wall and try to balance yourself. And then his hand is gone. Both of them grab your hips, and his tongue slides over your entrance. He licks, pushes in deeply, and sucks at the arousal pouring out of you until he’s satisfied. Now you're hyper aware of where you are, out in the open…and someone can turn the corner at any moment. Seungmin doesn’t care. You're not sure if you care.

“Fuck me”

“Fuck you, hm? You ready for me?”

“Yes, fuck…please…I need it”

“What do you need, baby? Tell me.” He’s back on his feet, fingernails grazing over your thighs and ass.

“I need your cock, I need it”

His arm wraps lovingly around your waist, and slowly…very slowly, slides deep inside of you. Seungmin groans from the pressure, tight and hot. You clench around him and whine when he pushes in hard, and then he’s back out again.

“No, don’t stop”

The tight squeeze of his hand is on the back of your neck again, “c’mon…get your key…inside. Someone’s gonna see us.” He says it like this whole thing was your idea, kisses across your shoulder as you fumble with the lock, and leads you inside, “go... get into bed.”

Your head is spinning. You’re confused, and ready for him. But the bed…that’s good. That’s exactly where you want to be. You crawl onto the clean blanket and collapse onto your stomach—eyes close as you will your mind to catch up with the rest of you. It’s suddenly very quiet. Seungmin didn’t follow you in, and you don’t hear him outside the door. Maybe he left. Maybe he was just getting back at you—stripping you in public, getting the two of you caught. Embarrassing you, or worse.

Just as you start to believe yourself, the door swings open and he walks in, very casually, open beer in hand, bottle of water tucked under his arm. He smiles sweetly as he looks over your body, because you’re exactly how he wants you, and you’re immediately gone again as he walks closer, cock still hard and bouncing from the tease in the hallway. He runs a hand through his hair, and pushes it back until it stays out of his eyes, but you can’t watch long…his hand is on the back of your neck again, pushing your cheek into the mattress.

“You’ve been so well behaved for me…” he starts, squeezing a little tighter. He straddles the back of your thighs and rubs the head of his cock over you. “And good girls get what they want.”

You can’t talk, but you whimper…moan a little, just so he knows you’re still with him.

His hands run down your back, scratching before he grabs and pulls your hips up to meet his, and you’re filled up with him again. This time he stays in, rolls his hips, and pushes until you whine from the pressure. “Too much, baby?” Seungmin sounds so sweet, so concerned…and he does pull back before he starts to pump into you. Now he whines and speeds up, comes forward, and clenches the sheets as he fucks you. You push back against him, even though it hurts. The bed starts to shake, and the sound your bodies make on contact is almost drowned out by the moans neither of you can hold back anymore.

A Seungmin slips out between your cries, and his pleased little laugh slips out between his. You don’t want to come yet, but you can feel it rising, and you need to touch yourself. As soon as he sees your hand sneak under your stomach, he grabs and pulls both of your arms behind you. Seungmin wants to make you come on his own—no touching—and he will. He adjusts, and he knows he finds the perfect spot when you start to squirm.

“You…first,” he groans.

And you listen again—you come hard and tighten around him, let out a muffled moan into the blanket. You know he lets go by the desperate sound he doesn’t hold back. Seungmin says your name—pleads over and over again as he empties himself inside of you. He loses himself completely.

You’re still as he finishes, and you slowly come down from your high, gasping for air as he pulls out with a heavy, relieved sigh. Seungmin grips and pulls your asscheeks apart, and you know without looking back that he’s savoring what he did—he’s watching his cum slowly drip out. He places his hand over your cunt and gathers it up before pushing two fingers back in.

“Seungmin…” you’re still panting, face down in the blankets, unsure of what to do next.

You wonder what he’ll do next, but you don’t wonder long. His lips begin to trace a line up your back, along your spine. Long, slow, wet kisses every few inches until he reaches your neck—now he moves along your shoulder, and back up to your neck until he’s breathing steadily in your ear.

“Seungmin?”

“Yeah…you alright?”

The weight on your body is suddenly gone, and he comes down next you, looks at you with his usual puppy eyes, and smiles.

He asks again, and his smile falls a little when you just stare at him.

“Uhm…yeah”

Seungmin nods and makes himself comfortable on his side of the bed, stretches his naked body out, and watches you. "Come here," he beckons you with two fingers. Despite what just happened—despite the tousled, sweaty hair, and his spent dick resting on his thigh, the look of innocence on him is so intoxicating. The big eyes, his soft pouty lips, and pink cheeks. Seungmin looks like he just woke up and needs a good morning kiss.

Of course you listen and crawl to him, but your brain is fighting you with every thought, every movement you make. The lust, the hate, the need, they’re all on even playing ground right now.

. ✦ .

The first thing you feel is warm breath against your neck, but it’s not enough to wake you completely. It feels good—this could lull you right back to sleep. Next is a wet kiss. Then a nibble. And then his palm is flat against your throat, and your eyes finally open.

“Min?”

He shushes you and kisses as his fingers close around your neck.

“Don’t, please”

“Okay…okay,” his grip loosens while his thumb runs back and forth beneath your chin. “I love you…you know that? More than anything.” But he doesn’t let go. “I don’t know what I would do without you. Thinking you can just…leave me, like it’s nothing—“

“This isn't easy.” You choose your words carefully.

His voice is shaky, and when you finally look at him, his eyes are red and brimming with tears. “You're breaking my heart. I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Anything.” He squeezes again, just barely. “Everything. That’s what you are…everything." Seungmin’s face is flushed, and a few tears escape him. One, two kisses across your face, and your cheeks are wet with his tears, too, but he finally lets go, and you relax. Maybe he’s right. You don’t have any close friends here…you have nobody. But you do have him.

“Tell me you love me,” he whispers. An arm wraps around your waist and pulls until he can hide his face in your neck. “Please,” he begs.

His scent is intoxicating. The lingering smell of sweat in his hair, and the sweetness of his shampoo are pushed into your nose and mouth. When he’s sweet, he so sweet. He’s comforting. Even now, hours later, he feels warm and comfortable, and exactly what you need. “I do...I love you.”

“Tell me you’ll stay”

You can hear the tightness in his chest, and throat. More tears fall onto your neck, but you hesitate. You’re unraveling again. Seungmin is pulling you apart piece by piece—every sweet word, every aching appeal chips away at you.

“Please,” Seungmin pulls back and kisses your forehead, “I’ll beg all night…I’ll keep you up all night.”

Saying no just means starting this whole thing over again. Saying yes…maybe you can fix this.

“Yeah…I’ll stay”

. ✦ .

[opultea]

Helloooo your request are open right? Im sorry if its not. I just read your cuddling headcanons with GN who loves listening to heartbeat and my inner affection deprived self just— FSOAJALAKA *squeals*

Sooo im wondering if I can request headcanons about GN reader who's love language is physical affection and veryyy clingy and just crave physical affection 😨 Like they would literally die of loneliness because nobody hugs them at night (so me fr).

Maybe with Kaeya, kaveh, alhaitham, scaramouchie, tighnari, childe and diluc? ( If its too much then kaeya, scara and childe is enough.) Obvi fluff but i dont mind hurt/comf either :)

Sorry if this is too long, thank you!!

I'm happy to continue feeding you guys affection content, hope you enjoy!

Joint At The Hip

Genshin Men with a reader who's very physically affectionate ft. Kaeya, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Wanderer, Childe, Diluc - GN Reader (No Pronouns) - Fluff - SFW - Romantic

Kaeya

Ever since Lisa introduced you two, and you greeted him with a hug, he was amused by you

It wasn't too hard to believe that a friend of Lisa's was overly affectionate, but he still raised his eyebrow when you linked his arm in yours whenever you passed him in the street so you could say hello

Kaeya admits that he found it a little strange at first

Weren't you the least bit worried that if you were like this with everyone, someone would eventually take advantage of you?

Though even with these thoughts in the back of his mind, he mostly just allowed you to do as you pleased

He found it funny how you always seemed so happy attached to him like that

Although he never dared admit or show it, he had his reservations about someone so openly affectionate with him; a stranger

But it didn't take long for Kaeya to sink into your every hug and smile whenever you took his hand in yours

He quickly learnt that you had no bad intentions, so he soon moved past his nature to conceal and protect himself by wearing his mask

In fact, it wasn't long before Kaeya was being just as clingy as you, clutching your waist suddenly to sneak up on you, bringing his arm around your shoulders as you walked or sat together, and teasingly lifting your chin with his hand

And once the two of you finally started dating, oh boy

Mondstadt better watch out, the clingy couple just got even clingier

Alhaitham

Has compared you to a parasitic creature in his mind at least five times

He never thought it insultingly, more like a genuine analysis of what you might have been trying to get out of this behaviour

Were you trying to butter him up so you could access a confidential file in the archive? Were you trying to pull a prank on him? Did Kaveh set this up?

He once brought this thought up with you while you sat beside each other, reading, your head naturally on his shoulder. You were a little offended by his use of the term 'parasite', but ultimately found it kinda funny that he thought that way

You tried to shift his thinking by proposing that it's more like a symbiotic relationship than a parasitic one

"It's hardly symbiotic if I'm not getting anything out of this,"

"Yes, you are! Because you're touch starved,"

Alhaitham choked at the sudden declaration, bringing his fist to his mouth and turning his head subtly away

"I am not touch starved."

"Sure buddy,"

It took him leaving for two weeks on an expedition to the desert for him to realise how right you were

He was touch starved, and he missed you more than he would have liked to admit

Good thing you were too, because the moment Alhaitham returned to Sumeru City, you were all over him and he couldn't have been happier for it, although he didn’t show it in his facial expression

And when you hugged him with greater force than he expected, instead of standing still like he usually did, he hugged you right back, bringing you closer

You've officially converted him, he is now an honorary snuggle bug (only for you tho)

Kaveh

You're his saving grace

He feels like the luckiest man alive to be able to come home and just let you cuddle him back to life after a long day of signing off project papers and designing and redesigning houses

Any time Ahaitham is making life hard for him (all the time), Kaveh just huffs and walks away, with plans to go find you so that he can indulge in your warm and loving embrace for a while

The best part to him is that you never need to be prompted to touch him, you just do it on your own because you like it

This means you guys have the perfect synergised relationship, since you love giving Kaveh affection, and Kaveh loves receiving affection

Of course, this doesn't mean that Kaveh doesn't give you any affection, not at all

He returns all your tight hugs and soft kisses tenfold

So if you've ever had a bad day, Kaveh's always ready for a little role reversal

He'll sit you down on the couch and prepare his favourite rose and padisarah scented face masks, and press kiss after kiss to your head while they set

He'll never let his sweet clingy little angel get down in the dumps, so he'll always be reminding you that you're the light of his life, and that no matter what you think, he would never have gotten so far without your constant love encouraging and healing him

Wanderer

The two of you have been dating for ages, and yet he has still not gotten used to how cuddly you are

His abandonment issues aren't going away overnight, and so he still has a lot of trouble accepting that someone would want to love him, no matter how much he loves you

Even though this insecurity has mellowed from its previous manifestation as general misanthropy and hunger for power to call his own, he still struggles with accepting affection

This struggle manifests verbally most of the time, so prepare to be yelled at when you jump-hug him, even if his cheeks are going pink

He has his own way of admitting that he wants you to be close to him, usually in the form of an insult, but you've learnt to read between the lines

Whenever the two of you go out to the markets for groceries or to browse, you take his arm and press it to your chest, your own arms wrapped around while your head rested on his shoulder, he would call you out for being dumb enough to need to stick to him

"Of course you need to cling to me, you loser. Otherwise, you'll end up getting lost somehow if I let you stray even an inch away. So don't you dare let go."

He's actually pretty proud of how much you cling to him, anytime he sees another man looking at the way you hang off Wanderer's side when you're out, he smirks and holds his head a little higher

Honestly, kiss him when he does this it'll wash his smug facade right away and turn him red

Childe

Childe himself is a cuddly man, so he loves to have his energy reciprocated

Although, he has a tendency to turn affection into a competition

Let's say you just got home from work, and you approach your boyfriend with a big hug from behind, wrapping your arms around his middle and nuzzling your smile into his back

Well, he's going to see this as a challenge, and as always, challenge accepted.

Childe unlatches your arms from him and spins around quickly, before wrapping his own arms around you and picking you up, rapidly bolting to the couch to fling the two of you down. Before your surprise can wear off, he lays on his back and brings you on top of him, curling his whole body around yours

He then has the audacity to smirk at you as a "Beat that"

Although you're just happy to be snuggling with him at all

Overall he's just happy to be affectionate too

You're his favourite teddy bear, and whenever the two of you snuggle down to go to sleep he makes sure to pull you into his chest and rub his cheek against yours with a bright smile before he wishes you goodnight

Very indulgent of your affectionate habits because he has the same habits, it’ll be a cold day in hell before he lets you get away without his daily cuddle

Diluc

Your affectionate nature took him some getting used to, that’s for sure

In fact, for a while he was quite awkward around you, not really knowing how to deal with someone so touchy

And of course you did your best to respect his boundaries, even when all you wanted to do was throw yourself over his lap and hold his hands in yours, letting him know how much you cared about him in your own physical way

So when you became a couple, there was no stopping the build up of hugs that you had spent so long withholding

Diluc was a bit startled by the uptake in hand holding and arm linking in your relationship, but ultimately learnt that it was your way of expressing your love for him, and he appreciated that fully

He sometimes worries that he isn’t enough for you, considering his own lack of physical shows of affection, at least to the level that you provide

So he’s often surprised that you claim you want to stay with him, because for all he knew, you deserved better than someone that still didn’t quite know how to show you that they loved you to the moon and back

Once you become aware of this insecurity, you reassure him that physical affection is your way of showing love, but that he has his own ways as well. Ways that make you feel just as warm and appreciated

Diluc is glad to hear this, but will still actively work toward showing his love for you more often. It would be his greatest displeasure if you were unsatisfied in the relationship

[stargazing-dreamer-girl]

After the show

Pairing: alive!Reggie Peters x reader

WC: 3.2k

Summary: After being away for a few months you were finally back in Los Angeles, just in time to watch your best friend Julie perform with her band. The first time you got to see them live and get to meet them, including the cute bass player.

A/N: Here's something new which probably nobody still counted on getting from me hahah but writing has always helped me cope with some stuff and even though I hadn't pictured myself returning to this, here I am, dealing with life problems by escaping into fanfictions. So, I hope you guys still read it and like it!!

It had been a while since you saw Julie last. You had lived with your dad last semester while your mom had to go abroad for work. That left you at the other side of the country, a six-hour flight away from your best friend and your normal life.

Of course, staying at your dad's wasn't the worst. You got along great. One of the only plus sides of that move was that you could spend more time together, but you also had to get used to a new place and new people. And you missed your friends dearly. Daily Facetime calls to Julie and Flynn kept you going, but those declined in frequency as well. Everybody got busy, so these past few weeks it had been, at most, one call a week. With your upcoming move back home to California, Julie's successful debut with her band and Flynn managing them, there hadn't been a lot of time. Until now.

You were finally back in California, basking in the Los Angeles sun. The hot sand beneath your feet warmed your soul. A content smile graced your face while you were waiting for Julie and Flynn to join you. This felt like home. Definitely.

Your serene moment got interrupted as someone practically fell into you, making you tumble forward a few steps. You were able to keep standing with arms still wrapped around you. With them came a squeak and the call of your name before the figure, which turned out to be Julie, came around to your front. As soon as you saw that familiar face you pulled her into your arms again. Yep, home. "Oh my God, I missed you so much!", you said, squeezing her once more.

"Same! I can't believe you're back! Finally!" The two of you let go of each other and settled onto the sand. "Tell me everything!"

"Well, you already know basically everything," you laughed. "I mean, the last time we talked wasn't even 24 hours ago."

"I know!" Julie took ahold of your shoulders and shook you. "Way too long! I need a play-by-play of your flight."

"Uhm ok, so, when I got to the airport..." And so you told Julie everything that happened at the airport, on your flight, at the reunion with your mom, the ride home, just everything up until the point where she had joined you at the beach. "When is Flynn coming by the way? Shouldn't she be here already?" You looked around hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl amidst the other beach-goers.

"Oh yes, I forgot to say! She actually had to hang back for a bit. She was able to get us a gig tonight, totally last minute, so she had to organize some stuff, but you'll see her later when you come to the show."

"Oh, so I'm invited, huh?" You bumped her shoulder.

"Of course, you are! We made sure to have you put on the guestlist. Then you can also meet the rest of the band! They're so excited to meet you. I mean, Flynn and I always talk about you, so they're always on us about when they actually get to meet you." She laughed at the dorkiness of her friends.

She could still picture the first time you were brought up in conversation in front of them. Flynn had been late to watching the practice and when she finally did come in, she looked a little distraught. Julie had asked her what was wrong, but didn't expect that the reason for her distress was actually your distress. You had just broken up with your partner who was not ready to commit to long-distance, even just for a while, so you had called your friends in tears. The boys had immediately told Julie and Flynn to not worry about practice and call you back and be there for you. Since then, you had been topic of conversation a few times.

"Actually," she continued, "Reggie could not shut up about you being at the show today since we found out it's happening, so you can't disappoint my bassist by not showing up." Julie wiggled her eyebrows at you. That's what you get for one time mentioning that you thought the dark-haired bassist was cute and asking about him. You had kept up with Julie's band, watched all their music videos and the private photos and videos that Julie had sent you.

You felt a warmth spread over your neck and cheeks, slighty embarassed by the teasing. "Oh please, Julie, shut up." You chuckled and looked out at the waves crashing onto the beach. "Of course, I'll be there. I'm super excited to meet the band, too. And to see you perform live!" Looking back at her, you saw the spark in her eyes that had been lost for so long after her mother's death, but there it was, portraying her excitement for making and sharing her music.

The moment got interrupted by an alarm sound coming out of Julie's pocket. "Oh ok, that's me. I actually have to run now," she said while standing up and silencing her phone. "I need to prepare for the show, but I'll text you all the details and will see you there tonight! Ok, bye, love you!" She shouted over her shoulder while already walking away in a hurry. You laughed to yourself at her behavior. It hadn't changed in all this time. You stayed at the beach for a few more minutes, before deciding to go home and get ready yourself.

You looked in awe at the line in front of the club the band was playing at tonight. So many people were here to see your friend perform. It was crazy. And you actually got to walk past all these people to tell the bouncer your name and be let in before all of them. The whole experience was so surreal, but it was everything you had ever hoped for your friend. Inside was already pretty packed as well but Flynn had texted you where to find her, so you made your way through the crowd to the roped-off area at the side which was slightly elevated. You once again gave your name to the woman standing there. She scanned her clipboard before she moved aside to let you in.

You spotted Flynn pretty easily in her eye-catching outfit. She was sitting in the far corner, closest to the stage, typing away on her phone. You walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey there, stranger!"

She turned around quickly. Her eyes widened when she saw you standing there before she jumped out of her seat with a wide smile on her face. "You're here!" She pulled you into a hug. "It's so good to see you! Wait, let me look at you!" You were pushed an arms-length away, so that she could check you out from head to toe. "And you look amazing! Perfect! Show-stopping!"

"Well, I hope not. I did come here to watch the show after all." You took the seat next to Flynn's, catching up with her until the lights dimmed and the show started. You and Flynn immediately got up from your seats as the stage lights came on and illuminated your friend and the rest of the band. Julie's gaze quickly flickered up to where you and Flynn were standing before she started playing the first notes of the song. Actual tears sprung to your eyes as you watched your friend live her dream. You were so proud of her.

You watched her interact with the other band members while performing. They all seemed to have so much fun on stage and you could clearly see their passion for music shining through. More than once did your eyes glance over to the bassist. You had to admit that Reggie looked even better in person than on the screen. He had to know what he was doing when he put on that leather jacket for the performance. Damn.

When the show ended, you actually felt out of breath from all the dancing and jumping and singing along you did with Flynn. The whole concert was so much fun and you could not get rid of the smile on your lips. "So, I am in charge of getting you to Julie's for the after-show party," Flynn turned to you and explained.

"Wait, there's an actual after show party at Julie's? And her dad's fine with it?"

"Yeah, it's just a few people and as long as we clean up and don't make too much noise, he's chill. So, you coming?" Flynn held out a hand for you to take and then skillfully maneuvered you through the crowd. The ride to Julie's turned out to be Flynn's mom who greeted you with a hug. You three chatted for the whole ride, mainly about your last semester and the show, before she dropped you off at Julie's. Before driving off she reminded Flynn to be respectful and considerate of the people living in the house to which Flynn rolled her eyes, but promised to be on her best behavior.

After her mom was gone, she turned to you. "Ok, come on, we need to get some snacks and drinks out before the others arrive." She led you to the garage, which you hadn't entered in what felt like years, and pulled the doors wide open. The lights turned on and as you looked around you realized that not much had changed, except for some trinkets being strewn about here and there. You quickly helped Flynn get some drinks out of the mini fridge and onto the table as well as some snacks when the first few people already started arriving. You easily recognized Nick, one of the first to enter the garage. He hadn't changed much from when you last saw him, still had the same Golden Retriever look to him. Carrie was also easy to spot. She spotted the two of you instantly and came over to greet you. From your calls with Julie and Flynn you were already aware that the feud had ended and there was some kind of friendship blossoming now.

"Hi, girls!" She greeted both of you with a hug before she turned to you. "It's nice to see you! How long have you been back?"

"Oh, just today actually. Been quite a busy day." You made some more small talk with her while other guests arrived and Flynn went off to greet them. It wasn't long until the conersations stopped to greet the arriving band with a round of hollers and applause. The guitarist, Luke, you knew, basked in the applause, entering the garage with raised arms and a grin, ready to high-five his friends that were waiting for him. Julie, Reggie and Alex followed. They had the same grin on their faces, the performance high, but passed up on the high-fives.

Carrie excused herself, but you didn't stay standing alone for long as Julie spotted you and pulled Alex and Reggie over to you. "Guys, I want you to meet someone," she exclaimed and proudly introduced you.

Aley was the first to speak up. He had a nice smile on his face. "Hi! It's really nice to meet you! I'm Alex. Julie has told us so much about you, it's like meeting a legend." Julie hit him in the arm for that comment. "Hey! What? It's true! You're always talking about her like she's a celebrity or some kind of myth. No wonder Reggie-" He got cut off by another hit in the arm, this time from the bassist. "Alright, fine, I'll stop stalking! Anyway, nice to meet you. I'm gonna go over there to my boyfriend." He turned and walked right into the arms of a long-haired guy on the other side of the garage who had been engaged in a conversation with Luke.

You turned back to the other two still standing with you, holding back a laugh. Your gaze fell onto the one who had yet to introduce himself. His eyes were still trained on Alex' back, but as he turned towards you, he realized that your focus was already on him and his cheeks turned red. It only took him a moment to regain his cool though. "I'm Reggie. Nice to meet you!" His eyes trailed your body once over. He shot you a smile. "I can't believe you're even prettier in real life than in the pictures." That earned him another smack against the arm from Julie. He yelped. "Hey! That's not how you treat your bassist!"

"Whatever, go get Luke, I want to introduce him, too!" Rubbing his arm he left, pouting, to get the guitarist. As soon as Reggie said a few words to him, he came jumping right over and put his arms around Julie's shoulder, placing a kiss on her cheek. She chuckled a little at the display of affection. "Luke, I wanna introduce you to-"

He cut her off, saying your name himself. "You talk so much about her. How could I not know?!" He smiled brightly and pulled you into a hug. "Great to finally meet you! How did you like the show?"

"Ah, it was amazing! You all looked so great out there! I had so much fun and everything sounded great! You even played my favorite song," you admitted.

"Oh, and which one is that?" You told him your favorite song, him nodding along to your answer. "Yeah, great taste you got there!" He looked around the room as a group of guys called his name. "Alright, I gotta go entertain for a bit, but we'll definitely catch up soon!" He promised with a wink and another kiss to Julie's cheek.

"Is he always like that?" You asked her.

"Most of the time." She nodded before breaking out into a laugh which you joined.

At some later point in the evening you found yourself on the couch with a drink in your hand. Reggie let himself fall into the seat next to you. "Hi there!" You smiled at him.

"Hi!" The small smile he gave you made him look even cuter. "Sitting here all by yourself?"

"Well, I was just waiting for you to come keep me company."

"Oh." That took him by suprise. "Here I am!"

You tilted your head to the side a bit, taking him in some more. He was still wearing the leather jacket you liked so much during the show with a simple white shirt below it and a pair of jeans. "I really liked to watch you play. I wanted to tell you that before, but you left so quickly."

"Ah, thank you! Yeah." He rubbed his neck as his cheeks turned pink. "Sorry that I left so quickly. I actually did want to talk to you some more! Julie told us you were coming to watch us play, so I- we put some extra effort into making this show amazing!"

"You certainly did! How long have you been playing bass for?"

"So long I can barely remember. I learned the guitar first though," he admitted.

"So you play the guitar as well, wow! I've never had any musical ability. Julie's mom tried to teach me to play the piano a long time ago, but it was completely hopeless." You chuckled at the memory. It was right in this room so many years ago.

"Maybe the piano just wasn't the right instrument for you? I can teach you some guitar if you want. Or bass, if you prefer."

"Alright, I'll hold you to it, but really don't get your hopes up. It might end in an absolute disaster," you joked. "Let me actually give you my number, so we can set a date."

"Oh yeah, totally!" He pulled out his phone and opened it to a new contact. You put your number in and called yourself right after saving it.

"Now I have your number as well." You smiled at him before saving the number into your phone as 'that cute bassist'. You hoped he had seen the name but when you looked back at him his eyes were trained on your face.

An hour moved by as you kept sitting on that couch, talking and laughing with Reggie. Luke, Alex and Julie had each come over for a few minutes but left fairly quickly to give the two of you some space.

"Hey, do you want to get some fresh air? It's getting a bit stuffy in here," you suggested to which Reggie agreed. The doors had been closed by now to keep the noise from reaching the neighbors, so that you hadn't noticed it'd gotten a bit chilly. Before you could say or do anything Reggie already took off his jacket and laid it over your shoulders. You pulled it on tighter as you took a seat on the stairs, the smell of the leather enveloping you. It smelled good, you imagined Reggie to smell distinctly of the jacket as well.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked warily.

"Of course." You assured him, placing a hand on his thigh.

His eyes fell from your face to your hand. "Are you flirting with me? Like, are you actually hitting on me?" His hopeful eyes found yours again as your smile turned wider.

"Yes, Reggie, I have been all evening."

"Oh, ok, good, so I didn't misinterpret anything." He laughed a little and placed his hand over yours that was still lying on his thigh. "You see, I think you're really pretty. I've thought that since Julie and Flynn showed us pictures of you for the first time. And now I know, you're really funny, too, and I'm just totally blown away by you, so I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?"

"I would like that a lot, yes. You lnow, I've had this little crush on you for a while now that Julie and Flynn have been making fun of me for. There's something about you that really draws me in." You bit your lip, taking Reggie's attention from your eyes to your lips.

"So, uhm, can I kiss you right now?" He asked.

Your lips spread into a wider smile as you shuffled closer to him on the stairs. "Yes, Reggie, I'd love that." There wasn't much of a gap between your faces anymore now, but he took his sweet time letting you feel his breath on your lips before finally connecting them. His lips moved softly against yours. He squeezed your hand on his thigh and brought the other one up to cradle your face.

You pulled back a little to catch your breath. When there was a crash from inside the garage your gaze quickly flicked to the door to check if anyone was coming out. When nobody did, you turned back to Reggie. "Do you wanna go back inside or keep doing this?" You asked him, hoping for the latter.

"I think, I'd rather stay out here a bit longer." He smiled before catching your lips in another kiss under the starlit sky.

[mics-bootlicker]

Some random Erasermic drabble set after they get together in their early to mid 20s bcos I've been thinking about the whole Hizashi being Shōta's second choice thing

(Edit: also forgot to add, Hizashi being this honest about his feelings is rare lol)

M: If Shirakumo were still alive, would we have still...?

E: Don't think like that, it doesn't make sense. What happened happened, how would hypotheticals change anything?

M: I know it won't change anything, sheesh, but you loved him didn't you? Back then, me, I was just... a friend, and I knew that, hated that.

E: Yes, I think I did love him. But he didn't love me back, did you know that too? I don't think he even liked men. Regardless, we both saw how he looked at Kayama

M: I knew that. It's funny, you know? He would encourage me to confess to you. And I never did because I knew you liked him, but I couldn't even tell him that!! I got tight lips, hmmm?

E: Well, thanks for that, I guess. I can't believe he never knew, I was so obvious. People say I'm the closed up one, but in the end, everyone knew i liked him and only he knew you liked me, huh?

M: ...I was jealous of him until he died. How horrible is that?

E: Not horrible at all. Jealousy is illogical but... it happens. Just like accidents happen with Shirakumo's death.

M: God, why haven't we talked about it like this? Ever since then, we've barely had any open talks about it. Fuck, I miss him. I miss us.

E: Calm down. We'll be alright

M: You sure weren't acting like it for a while.

E: Well, we're back together now, and different than before. And what you said... about if Shirakumo would've survived... if we still would have... maybe, who knows? Shirakumo was never going to love me the way I wanted him to then. Maybe I would've moved on, then started noticing you more. Then maybe Shirakumo would've finally convinced you to make a move on me, and I would've said yes. Maybe you would've lost interest forever and fallen in love with somebody else. But nobody can say for certain, what's the point in speculating? Hizashi, I love you now. That's what matters

E: Shōta, I love you too

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

LoverMan

Requested?: Yes/No

Description: Tom had you for years, and lost you due to who he was.

I'm Mister Loverman

"Hey, Tom?" You called out from yours and Tom's room, getting your lover to come to the doorframe, leaning against it

"Yeah?" Tom asked, looking you up and down to study your outfit as you stood in front of the mirror.

"Do you think this looks good on me?" You asked, turning on him slightly as he pushed off the door frame, walking closer.

Tom stood behind you now in the mirror, looking you over as you looked at him through the mirror.

Tom wrapped an arm around your waist, leaning a hand on your hip where you had an underwear band resting there to show off.

"Yeah, you look hot." Tom said, smirking amusedly as he leaned his chin onto your shoulder, kissing your neck.

"You sure? I don't think so." You said, studying yourself in the mirror as you tilted your head to give Tom more room to kiss your neck.

"It does," Tom reassured, slightly muffled as he still kissed along your shoulder and neck.

"Plus, it doesn't really matter as it's gonna end up on the floor tonight anyway." Tom teased, finding amusement in the way your jaw dropped in a surprised smile.

Tom laughed, hooking a finger under the underwear band as he pulled it, letting it go as it made a small snapping noise.

You smacked his hand, laughing as he dodged, holding his arm into himself as his face scrunched up in laughter as you smacked him over again.

"You're not being very LoverMan material right now." You said, laughing as Tom yelped when you smacked the back of his head, knocking off his hat.

"What do you mean?! I'm a very good LoverMan." Tom said, sarcastic as he nodded to himself in approval.

You rolled your eyes playfully. "Yeah, sure." You chuckled before leaning in to kiss his cheek as you passed, walking to grab your bag.

"I'll be back later, ass. I'll bring some food later on." You said, throwing your bag over your shoulder as you headed to the door.

"Don't forget the food! Also, love you!" Tom said, calling after you, watching the way you walked away as you waved over your shoulder.

"Love you, too!" You said, opening the door and blowing him a kiss as you smiled before walking out the door.

Little did Tom know that was the last time he would see you alive ever again.

You walked out and that was the biggest mistake Tom ever let happen.

And I miss my lover, man…

You went to the club, and nobody knew what happened next for days.

Tom could still remember it all. And how it all went down to the back of his hand.

You went missing. Nobody could find you or knew anything but that a group of girls around your age had dragged out a drunk you from the party.

You were gone for two days.

Tom didn't sleep or eat, he didn't move from his phone as he hoped from a call from anyone or you and that everything was okay.

He waited until he got the call and was able to go drive and pick you up in his car, to hug and kiss you and never let you go ever again.

He remembered a knock at the door. Tom couldn't help but think it was you, and almost ran to it and broke it off the hinges as he swung it open.

It wasn't you.

Tom looked down at his feet and he saw a VHS tape, a note saying "From (Name)." On it.

Tom remembered being frantic, grabbing it as he got back to the VHS tape and almost cracking it as he stuffed it in.

Tom regretted it as soon as it started.

Tom couldn't remember it but he remembered the screams. He remembered the cry's from you and the laughter at you from the girls.

Tom remembered hearing his name and hearing you beg for him to come get you. Tom remembered the blood, the tears, everything.

And he especially remembered how life drained from your eyes and how the girls paraded around your bruised and bloody body.

Tom remembered turning off the TV, sitting on the couch in silence as he refused to move, as moving would make it real.

He only moved when Bill, Gustav and Georg busted down his door, finding him still at the TV.

Tom remembered saying nothing, only pointing at the VHS player with a shaking hand as a frantic Gustav took it out, having gotten a similar one and wanting to know if Tom had gotten one as well.

They got their answer.

One they later turned into police, and one that would have them later on identify your body.

It came out you were murdered for simply being with Tom Kaulitz. Murdered by stalker fans who were crazed and thought you stole him from them.

It was hard too, even through the blood and gashes you still looked at you. And you looking so best up and cold and dead had Tom covering his mouth, running out the morgue and into the street.

He could only feel Georg's hand on his back as he threw up his empty stomach on the street, getting looks and photos taken but not caring as he sobbed.

Tom had really lost you.

All because it was his fault.

—---------------------------------------------------------

As time went on Tom fell into a ritual, an unhelpful and unhealthy one that rverhnr told him to quiet, but he couldn't stop himself.

Tom would take girls back to his room almost every time they went out, searching for you in a crowd and seeing something you held that they did as well.

They may not have been you, but they looked like you.

And to Tom, that was good enough to trick his mind that they were you.

Tom looked at the girl as he got ready, glancing over to see her through the mirror.

He couldn't help but imagine it was you. Like it was you as he got ready in the morning after waking up beside you.

Like it was you sleeping in as he slept beside you.

But seeing the girl sit up in the mirror as he put his jacket back on, and seeing the same hair you once had, his illusion broke.

Because even though she had your features, she wasn't you.

Tom had lost you.

And even though Tom tried to find you while fucking, flirting, or laying with someone else, he couldn't replace you.

Because Tom would love you for the rest of his life, a life you were a part of for less than you should've been.

------------------------------------------------

@lyzit @cyb3rlex @billysjumbie @billsjumbie95 @bigbootahjudy @ilovebill-and-gustav @r3dheadedw0rld @V4mpyboyy @novaaisstupid @billybabeskaulitz @yas-v @iischafer @dilfverz @ahswhore0 @graciegizmo3184 @80s-tingz @ryiana @yuriayatoz @bunnysenpai31 @banshailey @bellastoner420 @victryzvv9 @stxngnr @killed-kiss @stilesandjames @m00nzyblogs @sylisan

[pooplyface1423]

"~The most radiant angel in all of Heaven~"(pt2)

⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛

(Flashback)

As Lucifer and Lilith were about to be banished Sera said

"Does anybody object? speak now or hold piece"

Lucifer slightly turned to you he now what he did was wrong but he still had slight hope you'll say something at least a farewell.

When Sera noticed nobody raised there hand she was given the green light to banish Lucifer.

Then out of the corner of his eye he saw you seemingly lightheaded that beautiful smile fading until you passed out!? How? why? it was to late to say anything..

(End of flashback)

⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛⯅⛛

"Seeing her beautiful smile, her kindness towards others everything , bout her is something i miss nothing can change what i did can it? would i ever be able to get her back? most importantly has she moved on?"

Anyway Lucifer was not only scared for charlie going into heaven and being rejected like he was all those millions of years ago but he was also scared of charlie accidentally meeting you.....

Reluctantly he agreed and he teleported back to his palace.

⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌

Today is the day ,the day Charlie and vaggie go have a meeting with heaven in heaven.

After St.Peter and Emily sang welcome to heaven, Charlie and Vaggie where shown to there room to freshen up.Then Emily invited them to the zoo with two of her friends and Charlie agreed but Vaggie decided to stay behind.

"Hey Charlie!" "Hi" "wheres Vaggie?" "Well she said she wanted to stay back"

"Oh.. Well that's fine! Come on let me introduce you to my friends Faith and Hope there twins" Says Emily so excited to show Charlie around

"Okay were here ........ were could they be.. Oh there they are!.. Faith ,Hope i want to introduce you guys to Charlie!"

"Hi I'm Faith but you can call me Faye" says Faith

"And that's Hope You can just call him Hope! Hes a little shy" Says Faith after seeing Hope get extremely nervous.

"Well lets get going i wanna show you every single animal!"

As the three girls went in front of him hope took it as a chance to text you and when you didn't answer he excused himself to the bathroom called you.

"Mom" "Yes dear?" "Um i got a quick question...BUT promise not to get scared angry or anything bad okay?" "Okay? if you got hurt just come over here and were's Faye?" "Um well Faye is with Emily and um-.......the princess of hell"

There was a long pause until...

"The what? hunny i can't hear you, You'll have to speak louder"

"The princess of hell"

"Who?"

"Well her name is Charlie Morningstar and i got a question about her"

"Um- well I- I don't know her but um what is the question you have dear?"

"So to put it straight she looks like me?" "How so dear?" "you know by the little red circles on my cheeks? so um just wanted to know about dad since i never knew much about him is he alive? are me and faye related to charlie?"

".........I- I don't know.........But your little head shouldn't worry bout it don't mention that at Lunch okay? I'll give you more answers soon okay?"

"okay mom...Bye"

⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌⯎⯌

Hello again! finally finished after high demand lol. Hope ya'll like it.part 3 will hopefully be out later this week.

Tag-list: @yourmommylol04 (won't let me tag you) @lxkeee @vann13 (can't find acc) @adaizel

(to be added just comment)

[tai-janai]

inspired by strix's new chapter 3s concepts

The Narrator:

You're on a path in the woods-

Voice of the Skeptic:

We know this already! We need something different. You.

Voice of the Hero:

M-me?

Voice of the Skeptic:

No, not you. Other you.

Voice of the Hero:

...?

The Narrator:

...

Voice of the Hunted:

I'm thinking.

Voice of the Skeptic:

We need new ideas, people! Saving her didn't work, trying to slay her didn't work; there has to be something we're missing!

The Narrator:

Wait, you what?

Voice of the Hunted:

We could have slain her. You were too hesitant.

Voice of the Skeptic:

Hesitant? Excuse me for not being so eager to stab a person.

Voice of the Hero:

You had us take the knife in the first place? Did you expect to not use it?

Voice of the Skeptic:

For defense! You're agreeing with the premeditated murderer here?

Voice of the Hero:

Yes, I am agreeing with the one who doesn't want us killed. She's a murderer, too, you know.

Voice of the Hunted:

Offense was our only defense at that point.

The Narrator:

Well, you seem to know how dangerous she is-

Voice of the Skeptic:

Can it; we already know that you're of no help. Not surprised that you knew about all of this already. Anyway, you. If I screwed us up so badly, tell me how I could have improved? What did I do that was so detrimental?

Voice of the Hunted:

If you truly want to slay her this time, then you have got to be more trusting. Not of her, but of us. All of your movements were unsure of themselves, making us slow. We need to make the choices that keep us alive. Lose the doubt, trust the body.

Voice of the Hero:

Or, if you really want something new, we could go somewhere else.

Voice of the Hunted:

Yes. We could also leave. Though, I'm not sure I trust these woods.

Voice of the Hero:

If you could even call them that... This is different, isn't it?

Voice of the Skeptic:

*Grunt of frustration* Just more questions...

---

The Narrator:

You're on a path in the woods-

Voice of the Skeptic:

We know this already! We need something different. You.

Voice of the Hero:

M-me?

Voice of the Stubborn:

He means me.

Voice of the Skeptic:

Yes, you, what are you bringing to the table?

The Narrator:

Excuse me-

Voice of the Stubborn:

Oh, I don't know, maybe some actual fighting spirit?

Voice of the Hero:

Is that really what we need here?

Voice of the Stubborn:

Of course it is! The whole second-guessing schtick got us killed! Quit doing that, and we'll have a chance to actually get a win on that prisoner!

The Narrator:

Glad to see that sparking bellicosity towards the princess. I must say-

Voice of the Stubborn/Voice of the Skeptic: Can it.

Voice of the Hero:

Oh, I'm not sure I'm a fan of that.

Voice of the Skeptic:

Whatever. Rushing in and fighting her head-on is not a good idea, I don't care how many chains she's in.

Voice of the Stubborn:

But we could have had her! The only thing that stilled the blade was your own doubt, and that's on nobody but yourself.

Voice of the Hero:

Yeah, I mean, it kinda felt like you were holding back. Even though she'd killed us once before.

Voice of the Skeptic:

What do you suggest, then?

Voice of the Stubborn:

Hand me the reigns when the time comes. No more hesitation. All your thinking gets in the way of making actual decisions. If we're going in, then we're going to slay her; no more of that tedious interrogation.

Voice of the Hero:

If we do go in. I mean, we haven't tried not going in yet, If you're looking for something different.

Voice of the Stubborn:

I wasn't offering it.

Voice of the Skeptic:

The woods are an option, but... they've changed now, too, haven't they?

Voice of the Stubborn:

Huh? Oh. Yeah, I kind of see it.

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c8. The big secret.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Un blasfemo, Fabrizio de Andrè.

abstract: sometimes I feel like I own the world and sometimes I feel so fucking alone the only thing keeping me alive is my dog, you know. sorry, it's Jude. I'm just saying, this is not a big deal anyways. enjoy.

Her vacation didn't last long, mainly because she wanted to know how the mission was going. She was scared something had happened. She stayed inside most of the time, only going out with Jinx. She tried to do some work, to read. She ended up eating instant ramen most of the time. She couldn't focus on anything besides the mission, and Arash, and him. Were they all dead? Did she get everything wrong, was Arash innocent all this time? Laswell surprised her by inviting her in her office on Monday. Something had happened then. She hadn't seen the woman in a very long time, she only called her for special communications. All the soldiers sent in the mission are dead, and it's your fault. She was early, in the parking lot smoking a cigarette, bouncing her foot nervously. This thing was going to be the death of her. She even had ballet in the evening, she was going to start her appointments with the patients on the following day… Un casino. 

'Hi Alba, how are you doing?' She had always liked Kate. She had a good heart, she was kind. She was inspiring. And she had always trusted 'Alba', from the beginning. From their first meeting, and their first… agreement. 'Good, thank you. How are you?' She sat down with Kate in her office. She was definitely a bit less tense now, seeing the woman sit down and smile at her. Maybe it wasn't bad news that awaited her. 'Busy, as usual…' she poured some water in two glasses on the table in front of her 'Alba, I wanted to personally thank you for your collaboration on the Al-Jareena mission.' Relief.

'I missed every single briefing, but Price reported everything to me yesterday night. Your theories on Tehrani were correct, they were able to spot some snipers that were waiting for them. If you didn't tell us about your suspicions many men would have died.' She smiled at Kate and nodded. Her heart was filled with joy. She was happy for the success of the mission of course, but happier for herself. 'I'm glad…' she replied. 'So, they didn't know we knew about the ambush? I figured Arash would tell the troops and they would change their strategy.' Kate nodded and her lips formed a straight line. 'I think so too… They were able to surprise them, but our target was no where to be found. They're still looking for him.' She opened her mouth to reply but Laswell's phone rang. 'Speak of the devil…' she commented.

Alba figured it was Price. 'Captain. Yes, I'm aware.' She excused herself and stood up. Alba took a sip of water. She wanted to know if they were all fine. All of them. She looked up as soon as Kate came back to the table. 'Sorry… he's updating me when he can…' she commented. 'They're looking everywhere for him and interrogating a few locals and soldiers they managed to detain, but nobody's talking. Maybe they moved Khorram when they found out we were coming.' Alba was very appreciative of Kate for sharing the updates with her, it meant she trusted her. They talked about the situation for a few more minutes before she asked Kate about the soldiers. She said there were a few injures, but all the 12 men made it and were continuing working. She was relieved. Her mood had improved significantly, even at ballet she had more fun than usual. There was still something wrong about the situation and she wanted to get the full picture, but for now, she was happy. She felt actual happiness for the first time in months. What validation can do to you hu?

On the other side of the world, Ghost wasn't having the best day. The desert air made it hard to breathe through his mask. The wind was making his eyes water and he felt the sand stick to him because of sweat. Plus, Khorram completely disappeared from Al-Jareena. They had looked everywhere, every house, every shop. The interrogations. He really didn't like inflicting pain to people. Common misconception about him, but yes. He hurt them, if he needed to. It was the only thing he knew how to do. But he didn't enjoy torture anymore, as he maybe did when he was a little bit younger. Plus, no one was saying anything, fucking hell. He ended up nearly killing two people out of pure frustration. His anger was spilling everywhere like a ripple. It was awfully painful, to see the deep faith and devotion to their leader. They would protect him at all costs. People roamed the streets like zombies after they took over, the troops defeated or detained. He saw kids begging him for water in a language he didn't understand, playing football in the same buildings he had fought and killed in. He was numb of any human emotion, he felt like his insides were rocks and dust. After two weeks in Jordan, they got back empty handed. Well, they didn't die, that was a win. Jude was right all along. Jude, Judy. After they arrived, snipers were already waiting for them. They still tried to defend the town, but Arash had probably helped Khorram escape before their arrival. Jude 1, Ghost 0. Speaking of Jude… He heard this crazy rumour about her. Johnny and other soldiers were talking about her one night, while they were outside smoking. 'One of my friends from my first deployment in Iran had a few sessions with her in 2021, he quite liked her. Said she was alright.'

'I think she worked with Price before, they know each other'

'Isn't she the councillor that followed the Billy Lunette case? Ex Lieutenant, back in 2019 I think. He went proper mad, he got hospitalised'

'You think she's married?'

'I don't think the army needs therapists anyway'

'Where is she from, she talks weird'

'I heard she took a year off cause someone pulled a knife on her'.

That was when he raised his eyes from the ground. The group had gone silent. The air was hot and fanning his face, but he thought he felt a light breeze on his neck all of a sudden. It reminded him of the girl, the cold air. She was an entity they just summoned, she had arrived. So that was the missing puzzle piece. 'Really? When?' the Scotsman was about to go get some sleep, but sat back down to enjoy the story. 'In 2022 I think, he was a patient.' The soldier who was speaking was way younger than him, around his mid 20s. Did he want to believe him? What if it was true, that would make sense, he took her home that night to make sure she wasn't being followed, and now with the Arash situation she had become tense again. 'I've seen this film before' she had said. She was scared to get attacked again? 'I don't know if it's true, no one really knows.'

'Who was the patient?' Someone else asked.

'I think his surname was Morrigan or something similar.'

'Yeah I think I remember him.'

'Yeah, she didn't go easy on him, there was a rape charge as well…'

'Nah, that's too much!'

He stopped listening. Not that he didn't care, he did. He didn't want to hear that stuff, it was gossip, it was useless. That was a big accusation, Jude. That's the thing, you do seem like the type to lie. You're a psychologist, you work with humans, you understand they minds. You're a manipulator. If it was true, then he might actually feel for her, if he tried hard enough. He didn't realise he was victim blaming, but he thought that's what you get, looking all pretty and working with veterans and men that kill for a living. He suddenly felt stupid for asking about it a few times. He really didn't think it could be such a serious thing, but it kinda made sense now. He thought about her in a different light, while on the flight home. Having that small new piece of information made him want more. How did you manage to get back on your feet, were you alone all the time, why did you come back to work in the same place? Was it difficult, did you cry, angel? You live alone, you don't seem to have any family, how did you manage? He had a soft spot for trauma survivors. (He doesn't realise this, but it's because he knows what it's like to survive trauma.)

He thought about that day, he realised he was one of the first people she saw after the attack. And she had to share a car with him, in the dark, through the desert, after she was just attacked by another soldier. He saw her right after it had happened. The thought made him shiver and want to throw up. He wanted to see her again, not that he didn't wish he'd run into her before... He wanted to talk to her again, but he doubted he ever would. Jude. Jude, Jude.

Shit happens.

notes: now you know.

notes: translation of song and concept:

I never bowed again not even over a flower, nor did I blush when stealing love (stealing love means falling in love with someone, them being in love with you)

from the moment that Winter convinced me that God wouldn’t have blushed stealing mine. (Winter always symbolises some evil entity. God not blushing means God will take your love and faith at whatever cost, just because it's owed to him)

(They arrested me) Because I said that God deceived the first man, He obliged him to travel through life as an idiot, in the enchanted garden He forced him to dream, to ignore the fact that in the world there’s good and there's bad.

When He saw that man stretched his fingers to steal the mystery of a forbidden apple, for fear that he no longer had masters, He stopped him with death and invented the seasons.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[persephonememes]

* (  GOOD RIDDANCE BY GRACIE ABRAMS /  SENTENCE PROMPTS.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ i was bored out my mind ❜

❛ you're the worst of my crimes ❜

❛ i never was the best to you ❜

❛ i used to lie to your face twenty times in a day ❜

❛ it was my little strange addiction ❜

❛ i destroyed every silver lining you had in your head ❜

❛ we were too different ❜

❛ you were so sensitive ❜

❛ now i feel terrible about how i handled it ❜

❛ now i bet you resent all of me ❜

❛ i don't forget all of my fault in this ❜

❛ i deserve it though ❜

❛ you were there all the time ❜

❛ how am i supposed to put that gently? ❜

❛ down the road you will love me until you resent me ❜

❛ what if i'm not worth the time and breath i know you're saving? ❜

❛ the whole facade seemed to fall apart ❜

❛ part of me wants to walk away till you really listen ❜

❛ i hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different ❜

❛ cause part of me wants you back, but i know it won't work like that, huh? ❜

❛ why won't you try moving on for once? ❜

❛ i know we cut all the ties but you're never really leaving ❜

❛ i'm thinking everything you wish i wasn't ❜

❛ the call was tough but you're better off ❜

❛ so won't you stop holding out for me when i don't want it ❜

❛ won't you stay for a while ❜

❛ i wish that you'd never leave ❜

❛ i know i know better ❜

❛ if you asked me to run away i'd go easily ❜

❛ i'm codependent but trying hard not to be ❜

❛ do you think we could talk? ❜

❛ yes, i know that he's my ex. but can't two people reconnect? ❜

❛ i'll always choose you ❜

❛ where do we go now? ❜

❛ there's nothing left here ❜

❛ i wasted my breath when i tried to console you, didn't i? ❜

❛ i know that i should hate you ❜

❛ i pulled the knife out my back, it was right where you left it ❜

❛ i just drank something strong to try to forget, but it wasn't right ❜

❛ i almost crashed my car ❜

❛ all i ever think about is where the hell you even are ❜

❛ i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you less hard ❜

❛ after all of this time, i still get disappointed ❜

❛ it's kinda funny when it goes from all to nothing ❜

❛ you have to laugh before you start to cry ❜

❛ now i stop myself from holding on to something that makes me feel a little less alive ❜

❛ i see through you ❜

❛ where did you go? ❜

❛ why'd it feel louder when all of it went unspoken? ❜

❛ all i can do is hope that this will go away ❜

❛ she doesn't know i'd let her ruin all my days ❜

❛ i'm just scared of that commitment ❜

❛ i really think sometimes there's something that i'm missing ❜

❛ i should probably go back home ❜

❛ i hope i wake up invisible ❜

❛ i guess i'm just difficult ❜

❛ you were everything to me ❜

❛ i've been drinking and staying up too late reliving bad decisions ❜

❛ what am i supposed to do when you used to be my lifeline? ❜

❛ i've counted all the days since you walked away ❜

❛ i never could've seen you coming ❜

❛ i think you're everything i've wanted ❜

❛ you make me really nervous ❜

❛ i've never felt this close to someone ❜

❛ what if you're my weakness? ❜

❛ i feel homesick ❜

❛ i'll say whatever you want, but i've become such a liar ❜

❛ i used to follow my gut, but now i'm just getting higher ❜

❛ i've been thinking way too loud ❜

❛ i wish that i could block me out ❜

❛ i think i'm burning alive, but nobody sees the fire ❜

❛ 'cause when i open my mouth, i seem to be stuck in silence ❜

❛ i thought of leaving tonight, but i couldn't drive this tired ❜

❛ plus after all of this time, i should be a pretty crier ❜

❛ in my head, i make a mess of it ❜

❛ i'm getting tired of feeling delicate ❜

❛ i used to try, but nothing's helping it ❜

❛ it's not their fault, but i've found that none of my friends will call me ❜

❛ every voice in my head is trying its best to haunt me ❜

❛ i should be cool but i panic ❜

❛ words seem to cut so much deeper right to the bone ❜

❛ it's a sort of funny quiet feeling ❜

❛ lately i don't know what to believe in ❜

❛ i drove 100 miles an hour to forget you ❜

❛  how'd you walk away so easy? ❜

❛ you won't even look at me ❜

❛ i hate the fact that i miss you around ❜

❛ why's it feel like you don't even know me? ❜

❛ how are you looking at me like a stranger? ❜

❛ i took up walking to turn it all off ❜

❛ it doesn't feel bearable guess i thought when i left it would all stop ❜

❛ did i fall out of line when i called you? ❜

❛ when i told you i'm fine you were lied to ❜

❛ how could i think that all that i gave you was enough? ❜

❛ cause every time i get too close i just go mess it up ❜

❛ i heard that you're happier ❜

❛ i hope that you're sleeping well, knowing i'm not ❜

[goldenlinixx]

current!harry x taylorrussell

Because if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you xx

"Tay I'm back. I brought you your favorite coffee!!!"

As he spoke, he packed his AirPods back into the case and placed his running shoes in the hallway. With an amorous smile, he walked with quick steps into the large living and dining area, hoping to run into his girlfriend, who preferred to stay in bed before his morning run. Hampstead was showing its most beautiful sunny side today, so Harry had spontaneously turned his little run into a big one. Taylor is still not a big fan of jogging, she prefers to enjoy the long walks with Harry. Even today, after a hot bath in the morning, Taylor decided to surprise Harry with breakfast. Just yesterday, they had gone shopping together and replenished their supplies. "Their" supplies - yes, theirs. Officially, Taylor and Harry weren't living together yet, but since Harry had finished his tour, they were actually spending every spare minute together. Hampstead and London are Harry's home and by now for half a year Harry was Taylor's home too. Not only for Taylor Harry was a home, also her little dog Root feels very comfortable in Harry's house. So her London apartment currently exists only for appearances. But for nothing in the world Taylor would have it differently or even want to trade it. Dreamy and full of thoughts, Taylor didn't even notice that her boyfriend was looking for her. But the music of her Siri-HomPod told him that his girlfriend must be in the kitchen. He listened and really had to smile, he recognized the voice immediately, even if it was not his own.

„Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there

The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air

It's hard

Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round

It's funny how things never change in this old town

So far from the stars“

The sight of his girlfriend almost made his heart melt, there she was at the countertop in one of his way too big Love on Tour shirts, a loose bun, and snuggle socks. It may have only been October, but Taylor was one who loved walking around in snuggle socks all year long. She was so in her element making the pancakes that she still didn't notice her boyfriend. And she was humming along to the voice of one of his now still best friends. He stood leaning against the doorframe, a sweaty strand of hair falling into his face.

"Hey sweetie, are you cheating on me?" He laughed.

Feeling almost startled and a little caught, Taylor turned around frantically.

"God H. I didn't even hear you come in. How long have you been standing there?" Quickly, though, Taylor's startled expression turned into a loving smile.

"Long enough to see that you seem to really enjoy my best friend's music. As lyrically confident as you are humming along to the song ..huh?"

With a raised eyebrow and a sly smile, Harry approached his girlfriend. "So ...yeah..I love that song. Even long before we met. You know?"

"Oh, so that's how it is." Harry quickly set the coffee down on the countertop next to him and pulled Taylor closer. She giggled. "Harry what are you doing" - "Well asking you to dance together"

"H you're still all sweaty" Harry shook his head. "I guess you'll have to go through with it now. I love that song too and I can't imagine anything better than dancing to it with you here in our kitchen."

„Because if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you

Drive highways and byways to be there with you

Over and over the only truth

Everything comes back to you

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room

Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you

Over and over the only truth

Everything comes back to you“

But Harry didn't miss the chance to accompany the song with his voice.

"Your voice to it sounds wonderful Harry"

"Thank you my Love. The song is really one of his best. I hope you know that if it's not my own song, I mean every word of it...don't you? I really can't wait for our future together."

He punctuated his statement with a sweet loving kiss. Smiling lovingly, Taylor nodded. "I love you too H"

"Speaking of ..Before we leave for Korea, we really need to meet up with Niall. You two really need to get to know each other. Amelia will love you"

"Nothing better than that"

Slowly Harry broke away from Taylor and reached for the coffee and held it in front of her. "Now drink your favorite coffee dear, otherwise it's about to be iced coffee" Gratefully Taylor took the coffee from him and tried a sip. "Oh even with oat milk" "For you always my Love"

Dreamily Taylor looked at her boyfriend. "Harry?" - "Yes?" - "You know you'll always be my number one artist and I love your songs to death right?"

Harry laughed. "I know Tay. I really can't wait until you see and hear HS4, because you're not completely uninvolved in that" Taylor grinned sheepishly.

Before Harry disappeared from the kitchen and hopped into the shower he picked up a quick kiss from her. There was a little pat on the butt at the end as well. "You look so sexy in my merch" Laughing Taylor shook her head. "You weirdo, now get in the shower ..or your pancakes will never be ready" - "I'm in a hurry".

Taylor smirked. "Siri, play Harry Styles Love of my Life on Apple Music" and yes, he definitely was.

_______________________________________________________

Love Taylor Russell and Harry Styles so much together. And today Nialls Song just popped up in my Playlist and my Head playing games with me and this was the result 🔝.

Hope you‘re enjoyed it! <3

xx Celine

[seijitheclown]

As I just hate it to sit on my hands regardings this... I vented on twitter already but here are a few thoughts on the current chapter (251).

Spoilers ahead, I only use old panels if referencing to something. Also i can't read japanese I only got bits here and there and I'm waiting on my copy from animate to get crushed by the chapter irl.

First of all I just came back to this panel not even 2 weeks ago as I was redrawing panels and I only then noticed this is Bookman. I was certain it is our Bookman but right now I am not sure if its truly him or someone else (but I am sure it's someone from Zeugle/Zoogle however you spell it, I would favor "Zeugle" btw as "Zeuge" is "Witness" in german, that would kinda make sense with the role of the clan in the history).

As we learn past!Allen and Bookman Jr. aren't the same person, nope. And the coat here is super similar to the one Bookman Jr. wears it even could be him just with beard, though I doubt that somehow.

What I am sure about is that we all fell for the fact we all tought the person in the flashback panels is ... past!Allen and we all thought the guy with the glasses is him. But it was Bookman Jr. all along. All the HCs we (and I mean ME) had are null and void as surprise surpise our PastA boy is someone completely different. I don't think the person asking Nea to use him is Allen. It's Junior.

Why? Because there are two key scenes Allen can remember and it's these two (both Volume 27) :

Being hold by someone who clearly 'loved' or 'cared' for him. With the current knowledge this is Allen who is embraced by Junior.

Then the second memory he still has is this one:

Which is Nea asking him what's his name is.

These are the true key elements from Allen's past with Nea/Junior we got until now, if I didn't miss a moment; as the other are clearly Junior/Nea and not Past!Allen/Nea.

To be honest I think by now that Past!Allen was indeed a random street rat with no manners, no future and nobody whom cared for him, exactly the person Mother described as she asked Cross if he would have prefered someone like that over the child he had found as host. Nea most likely found him and kind of befriended him ..? Something between them happened that Allen decided "Yes I want to host your memories" and I stay with my HC that pastA shared the same mindset as Red: he's nothing worth and better off dead/aka if his life can be of use he would go for it and if that means offering himself to keep Nea alive somehow then it's that.

And the scene between Junior/Allen .. I think it's Junior trying to protect Allen from Aprocryphos. I suspect it was him who killed Junior ... at one point he got Allen and infused him with Innocence. I think with the emotions Red still felt back then/the fact Allen remembers this as one of his ealiest memories means that he had a bond with Junior, something quite deep. There still could be the possibility that Allen forgot everything by himself because he was in denial, Amnesia after traumatic events is a thing... though we know Apocryphos likes to mess with memories.

Another thing: I don't think Bookman Jr. is Cross. Yes, Cross' mask has the same marking as Junior's scar, but why should the Bookman say the body was never to be found because ... the current Bookman knows Cross and he would have recognized his old apprentice, why should the Noah reference that and why should Bookman react to that at all? Sweating like they got his weak point as they target Lavi? And Cross would have known Allen as they have traveled together, at least partially. Also the others from Zeugle clearly implied that they were rescued last minute by Lavi being born, Cross is pretty much alive (or is he...? ) and their blood bond would have told them.

A very wild theory that came to my mind is that past!Junior = Lavi. Apocryphos fucked up Allen, why not Junior as well? Could be that - whatever happened - BOTH were regressed. I mean we don't know what's under Lavi's eyepatch and we know Bookman have a thing going on with blood/being related to each other. (Heck Lucia looks like Junior with a Haircut but she also looks similar to Allen ???)

I could be wrong with everything and I usually don't share any theories but damn I have so much about this in my head and I have to digest the fact we didn't get a crumb right about pastA not even what he looked like and my whole ass epos fic and the character I built up is just 100% wrong and urgh. I had started on two more fics last year I will completely scrap. Not to mention the Cosplay and the Fandoll I made of him... sigh, I don't think I will continue doing the Fanon Variant as Cosplay, about the doll... he's still a Character in my AU and he is my absolute fav among the dolls, it hurts my soul. I feel like my non existent fave got killed off.

This is more vent than anything else, just ignore me.

If you read this far, here is the two sketches I did yesterday after trying to digest the first impression:

Partially done without reference and during a super messed up day.

So eh. Do with this whatever you want I don't actually expect someone to even read this. I'm not truly in for discussing stuff I just want to scream into the void.

[blackjackkent]

"Foolish," Rakha mutters. "I remember nothing before the nautiloid's darkness. And I have known many dark things since. This horror is no different."

"Yes," Lae'zel agrees, low and curt, her voice resonant in the swirling shadows. "Fear serves us no purpose, and we shall cut it down along with our enemies."

"The curse of this place is built on the fear that consumes those who face it," Minthara says gravely. "We shall not give it the satisfaction."

"Well. All right," Wyll says dryly. "If no one else will say it, I will - that house is terrifying."

It's one of the more complete structures they've found in this corner of the shadowlands, which appears to have long since been ransacked by some terrible battle. It's also utterly saturated by the shadow curse; it seems to have soaked through the wood, drifting like smoke through the windows, bleeding along the ground.

In spite of her assertions to the contrary, it makes Rakha shudder to look at it. The magic here hurts, and drawing closer to this building, it hurts even more than usual, like hailstones rather than pinpricks along her skin and behind her eyes.

"It's not a mausoleum," she says curtly. "It is not what we are looking for."

"Chk," Lae'zel mutters. "We will not turn in fear from an empty building. There may be supplies of use inside."

Rakha hisses out a heavy breath between her teeth and shifts uneasily. "Let us search it quickly, then, and be gone from here."

She takes three steps forward, just inside the building's rotten doorframe--

"BOO!"

The child surges out of the darkness and Rakha lets out a startled screech. A burst of fire, quickly clipped off, erupts around her in all directions, narrowly missing the boy. He seem at all bothered by the reaction he's engendered at all; he just laughs.

"I scared you!" he crows. "I saw it! Nobody beats me at hide and seek." He bounces on the balls of his feet eagerly, looking at the trio of furious women (and one deeply concerned man) staring down at him. "Will you play with me?"

Rakha stares blankly at the boy. Her heart is thumping, blood pulsing behind her eyes so fiercely that she can barely see. KILL, says the beast. KILL BEFORE IT KILLS YOU.

She remembers Arabella with the snake's fangs inches from her throat. She remembers Mirkon running from the harpies. She remembers Mol, confident and calm in the Last Light courtyard - "I'd pretty much trust her with my life." This is a child. This is not an enemy.

Is it?

"Who are you?" she rasps out unsteadily, her fists clenched with the effort not to lash out.

"I'm Oliver!" the boy says brightly. "I'm seven. Will you play with me?'

Rakha's pulse settles into something a little more manageable, though her eyes are still dilated with barely restrained violence. Is it one of the tiefling children, somehow still alive? It would explain his presence here, but not the gleeful smile on his face. None of the surviving tieflings have smiled.

And the curse swirls around him as it does around the house, seeping through the crevices in his clothing and the pores of his skin, and she can see a subtle wince of pain under the smile.

"I don't have time for this..." she mutters.

Because she has work to do; she must find Balthazar. But also because she does not know how to play. No one has ever asked her before. What would he do if she said yes?

His eyes narrow, now, at her words. "Make time," he says sulkily. "I want to play. Or else."

A threat. She squints at him warily. No, this is no tiefling child, in spite of his appearance. That threat has weight behind it. Something clicks in the back of her mind - what Halsin said about the curse. The spirit of the land - he described it as a boy.

"In a moment," she says slowly. "Maybe. Have you seen another little boy? His name is Thaniel."

Something dark and angry flashes into the boy's face and he takes a step back. "I don't know anyone called that," he snaps. "Don't ask me again."

Then his gaze clears again and he grins. "Now play with me!"

Rakha hesitates. Her eyes flick to Wyll uncertainly. Before she can say anything, he steps forward past her and crouches down to the boy's height. "You want to play?" he says gently. "Fine."(*)

The boy's whole attitude brightens excitedly. "All right!" he says eagerly. "I'll hide, and you seek!"

Rakha tilts her head slowly to one side, parsing this. Perhaps he recognizes her confusion, because his grin widens. "Find me, and you win!" he explains.

Rakha makes a low, frustrated noise in the back of her throat. This is a waste of time; it will not help them find Balthazar. And yet... perhaps the boy is connected to the curse, to Halsin's plan for ending it. She can't just leave...

She breathes out heavily. "All right. Let's begin."

He pokes a finger towards her dramatically. "Get ready! And no cheating!"

Then he vanishes.

-----

"You know this game?" Rakha asks slowly.

"Sure - children play it all the time. One hides, the other finds them." Wyll looks at Minthara and Lae'zel, both of whom are stone-faced. "Back me up here."

"A child hiding in a secret nook in the Underdark runs a great risk of being eaten by those things that lurk in the darkness," Minthara says gravely.

Lae'zel shrugs. "Stealth is a skill taught to all yanki in a creche," she says. "But such games are frivolous. To be caught in a trial of stealth is to be caught in failure."

Wyll sighs. "Well. We played it in the Gate, anyway," he says ruefully. "Come on. Let's find the boy. Perhaps if we win a few games, we can convince him to come talk to Halsin."

----

(*) Rakha's line in-game, obviously. But it makes more sense for Wyll to take the lead here. And I wanted Rakha to experience hide and seek. XD

[whumpcloud]

Things End | People Change - Dead Things

content: vampires, discussed death of a family member, angst

Vincent clutches the flowers in his shaking hands. He is ashamed of himself. Henry was alive when he returned to England and this is the first time that he is visiting.

Was that… seventy years ago, now?

Vincent is still twenty-two.

He has begun to find comfort in cemeteries. Perhaps it is because he is a dead thing, too. Stones and dirt as cold as he is. He navigates his way between the gravestones, scanning the plaques with his eyes for his brother's name.

He finds his own first.

It's weathered with time, of course. No death date carved. But below a monument of an angel - Vincent could almost laugh at the irony - is his own name.

In memory of Vincent Maddox

Beloved brother and son

I hope it was a mistake to hold a funeral so soon

So they believed him to be dead. Vincent wonders when they decided to hold a funeral. Was it long after he disappeared?

Knowing him, Henry held out hope for years, until his wife gently convinced him to find some closure instead. I hope it was a mistake. It wasn't. Not truly.

Henry's grave is right beside his own, and Anise's after that. Of course Henry would've ensured that they were buried beside each other. He loved Anise to the ends of the Earth. His sentimentality was nauseating. Vincent misses it.

He finds himself sinking to his knees on the stone, shaking uncontrollably. He places the flowers against the headstone and brings his hands to his chest, clasped over his still heart. It's a physical pain, the lump in his throat and the pit in his stomach.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, a sob escaping him. "I'm so sorry. I miss you. I missed you every day. Please forgive me. I should have come back. I should have begged your forgiveness while you still breathed."

Vincent doesn't believe in a God or a Heaven anymore. But he prays, just for a moment, that there is something good after death. Not for people like him, but maybe Henry and Anise are somewhere gentle, somewhere kind and warm. Without worry, without pain, without him.

"Excuse me?"

Vincent cries out in surprise and quickly stumbles to his feet. A young woman is staring at him curiously. She has the same eyes as he does and his brother did.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she says, offering him a soft smile. "Are you quite alright?"

"U-Um, yes!" Vincent says, a little too loud, a little more strangled than he'd like. "I'm fine!"

She sighs sympathetically. "Don't worry about it, really. Nobody would blame you for being emotional. I was just a little confused, is all. Are you a relative? I'm his great granddaughter - Henry's, that is."

Something twists in Vincent's gut, coiling upwards, but he forces a smile, and nods in a little bow. Do people do that anymore? He doesn't remember exactly, but surely if he offered a handshake it wouldn't be completely appropriate?

"Vincent, um, Berkeley," Vincent says, thankful he still remembers Anise's maiden name. "I'm from the other side of the family. I would be some sort of distant cousin to you, I think. Named after the Maddox who went missing, actually. I thought I'd visit their graves and it, um, clearly had quite the effect on me."

Vincent so often feels like a actor, nowadays. Lines and scripts and masks.

"Oh!" The woman offers her hand to him and, relieved, he takes it. "I'm Florence Royston. I thought I knew all of even my most distant family."

"I've been… abroad," Vincent replies softly.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you, all the same," Florence smiles. "I'm just here to leave some flowers of my own and make sure the graves are neatened up."

"How did Henry die, out of interest?" Vincent asks, watching as she delicately lays down her flowers and sets to work brushing filth and rubbish aside.

"Old age, as far as I'm aware," she replies. "His wife died soon after. Of a broken heart, they say. Utterly romantic, don't you think?"

Old age. Surrounded by family, most likely. Vincent wonders if Henry spent all those years wondering if he would return. Vincent hastily wipes a tear from his cheek.

Vincent lets out a half-hearted, awkward chuckle. "I don't think I find it quite as romantic as you seem to."

"I can be somewhat macabre," Florence laughs.

She really is of their blood, the way she moves and laughs and speaks, tiny reminders of who he used to be. It is agony.

"You said you had been abroad," Florence says. "Where abouts have you been?"

"France," Vincent says. "Mostly. Though I have seen more of Europe, my more permanent residence was France."

"A lovely country," Florence says. "The Maddox you were named for went missing in France, oddly enough. It really is such a shame they never discovered what happened to him."

Vincent would scream if he was able. His vocal chords tangle together. I am right here, he wants to say, I am dead and I am right here and it is consuming me from the inside out.

Of course he doesn't.

"A shame," Vincent murmurs. "Indeed."

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[cleopheanne]

Would yall jump me if I rant on here ??

It's just so difficult right now 😪

First off I freaking hate medschool, worst week of my life, I didn't made one friend and my whole friend group just splash so I can't even see them in class anymore I know it seems childish but I litteraly came back to my childhood where I was alone all the fucking time.

First I wouldn't care about this if my mother didn't died she was my whole life, yes maybe she was a very austere woman but she was my best friend it just fucking hurt to not see her anymore, I just miss her so bad, she used to protect me a lot and she had the same character as me so I feel like maybe that's why we use to argue so much also because I was a rude and moody teenager but just when I started to mature and reconcialate with her she left me and I just feel like there is nobody in the world who will see me and understand like she did and that's okay because this is place only a mother could have. She gave me structure because she knew of my elusive character, she thaught me a lot about all kinds of subjects, and I held her opinion highly, Anyway I litteraly behaved as an extension of my mother for majority of my childhood and I can't even realize this, that she is truly gone and will never comeback and I don't even have the time to process this. Now this catastrophe made me realize that I have a strong dislike for superficial connections, now that she is gone and people saying that they are my friends not even taking this in consideration makes me realize that I need to make to cut a couple of people off like it's just so disrespectful to her for me to be out here making it seem as nothing is weird when I don't even feel alive anymore...

Anyways I'm forced to stay with some family friends because first off I don't live I'm my country of origin and my dad went to bury my mom while I can't attend the funeral because everybody knows that she pretty much died because of witchcraft I know seems wild but my family history is that wild anyway I just am so tired of always having to give to people and I just want a fresh start and forget about these damn friends anyways

Also, Grief is a very weird experience despite of the fact that I went through it multiple times I just feel like shit when I catch myself breaking in tears because I still didn't realize that my mother is gone. Do you have any books or movies that I could read/watch in relation to grief to face my pain ? Art is the only way that I most of time process emotions

Also for this astro posts you might notice that I don't really feel comfortable right now to post since my studies are very demanding and I don't feel right so when I'll actually find my right foot I will comeback with even more interesting pieces !

Anyways this was just a rant if you read it thank you I just needed to get this of my chest !