#yes I'm genderfluid and sometimes identify with she/her pronouns but that doesn't mean you can pretend to act like you know me

[arklayraven]

I blocked you, transphobic anon. Because you don't deserve to message me or even interact with me after that crap. Also, don't call me "Girl". Only my partners can call me that if I feel comfortable with it.

[sunnywalnut]

As someone who used to identify as a he/him lesbian, I want to add that not everyone who uses he/him pronouns is a man. Even if they're exclusively the ones they use.

Some people are nonbinary, or just femme and enjoy different pronouns that aren't "normal", or simply just use multiple sets of pronouns.

Many lesbians (including those who are cis femme) have explained it to me this way: the definition of Lesbian is non men loving non men. If you are capable of not being a man sometimes(like being genderfluid), you're capable of being a lesbian. And no this does not mean that the days you identify as one automatically changes your sexuality. Unless that is something that works for you. Because again. Sexuality and identity are both VERY personal things. And also yes. Sexuality is fluid. It changes sometimes.

This is the same shit that irritates me when people try to claim that transmascs can't be in lesbian relationships bc their partner is invalidating them.

If somebody is ALREADY in a relationship and it is LOVING and RESPECTFUL, who the fuck CARES what's going on behind closed doors??? Who the fuck cares if it's a little confusing to grasp??? It's not YOUR relationship. Deal with it. Things can be confusing. Not everything makes sense in this world. The sooner you make peace with that, the sooner you will be able to just get rid of a lot of stress in general.

Like sure. If your dude is a full on man and identifies as such, that really doesn't fall under "non man" right?

Except. Some "lesbian" relationships I've seen are just women with a genital preference and they don't have the right words to explain it yet. They fully respect their partner and their gender identity. They're just using a word that's familiar to them and makes sense in their minds.

It really comes to the point of asking yourself "is it REALLY my place to be speaking on a relationship that isn't my own? Who REALLY is getting hurt here? Do the people involved look like they are being hurt in the way I believe they are? Do I just feel invalidated by seeing this for some reason or another? Is this a personal thing I can fix on my own?"

Like I've had somebody who was aroace claim that I couldn't POSSIBLY be demisexual/romantic bc it doesn't exist. Despite us being friends at the time and relating to a lot of the same situations.

And her explanation for that was that since her life is impacted by people thinking they can "change" her to being demi/allosexual, then that means that my Identity is actively hurting her. She thought it was my fault that other people were invalidating both of us.

And sadly, that's extremely common in the queer community especially. Because so many people pit us against each other in an effort to explain away our existence and the truth is NOBODY wins from this. At the end of the day, she's still aroace. I'm still demisexual. And that guy is still a dick.

Multiple things can be true at the same time. You just have to look at it from a different angle sometimes.

[parental-unit-of-chaos]

My Trans Experience as a Demi-Boy:

Hello, in case you are just finding out who i am; My name is Salem and I go by He/They/Ze pronouns. My gender identity is Demi-boy, it is part of the non-binary part of the gender spectrum, but I am also trans (AFAB).

Being Trans means: that you were born in a body with a sex that doesn't match what you feel that your gender is.

Non-binary meaning: that you don't feel fully male or female or both at the same time.

(Side note everyone experiences gender differently and these definitions may not fit everyone who identifies as non-binary. if it is different for you, please comment your definition below)

Now what dose being a demi-boy mean?

A demi-boy can be trans or not; a demi-boy can be born female or male. But what makes you a demi-boy (in my understanding) is that you identify with masculine aliened pronouns, but you don't feel fully connected to just one set.

here is the definition from Gender Wiki with a link: " Demiboy (also called a demiguy, a demiman, or a demidude person) is a gender identity describing someone who partially identifies as a man or boy. In addition to feeling partially like a boy or man, demiboys also feel partly outside the binary. That can include anything under the non-binary umbrella like agender, genderqueer, or xenogenders for example."

What does this mean for me?

Well, let's break it into smaller parts so it's easier to digest...

Pronouns, gender dysphoria, clothing, restrooms, selflove, sexuality, name, pet names, and surgery.

Pronouns:

As I said before my pronouns are He/They/Ze, but how dose pronouns make me feel if I'm not connected to them fully?

So for He/Him/His pronouns....

i feel very comfortable with, I love being called masculine names or complements. Ex: Handsome, dashing.

But what about they/them?...

They/them are pronouns that I feel comfortable with as well. especially when I'm okay with my chest and having titties. like genderfluid people i feel different pronouns at different times. it's like a cycle actually, for 4 months straight, I'll feel male then I slowly move to they/them pronouns. When i feel more neutral, i know that i don't feel quite male.. the she/her gives me a extreme anxiety and stress being called.

Then there is Ze/Zim/Zier...

sometimes i just get this big euphoria most being called these pronouns; it makes me feel like I have a safety net of sort. where one no could guess what I was at birth.

Gender Dysphoria and surgery:

I'm sure some of you are wonder snice i am AFAB (a female at birth), do I experience gender dysphoria?

short answer... yes

Long answer, it's much more complex. Bottom dysphoria I experience constantly, without my Mr.limpy i would not be able to function through that whole day. i would most likely be having a break down. However, i have chest dysphoria sometimes, but every now and then i'll be fine with my chest being more feminine.

For surgeries i would most likely if i had the money do bottom surgery, but most likely not top surgery.

Restrooms:

what restroom do i use? most likely the one if fewer people in it. but yes, i use the female and male restrooms. but most days i just hold it until i get home.

Clothing!:

I wear whatever the fuck I feel comfortable wearing that day. Skirt? yes. jeans? yes and they better be cuffed. i wear mainly gothic punk things. i also like being a femboy.

Sexuality:

Plot twist... gender doesn't pick your sexuality.....

just because you are a demi-boy doesn't mean you're straight, bi, gay, or anything else. What am i? Well, I'm Grey-pansexual. I can feel platonic, romantic, and sensual attraction to any and every gender. Almost never sexual.

Pet Names:

I love being called masculine things with an addition of fem. Ex: pretty boy. i also love being called more gender neutral things. Here are some things my friends have called me:

Rat bastard

comrade

bitch

feral

gerlim

dice goblin

crow

Last Self Love:

that will be in a different post