#yes I'll watch long reviews of the live-action remake but don't want to watch the actual movie

[c-rowlesdraws]

man if we're talking about hyenas. they were Baby's First Villain Fave for me (alongside the changelings from MLP FIM, who were also just trying to eat the abundance of food the heroes didn't want to share for some reason). i just remember being like wait. these people wouldnt have followed scar if they just. had enough food? seems like a very easy solution to me

MLP started airing when I was in college (insert gif of timelapse rapid-aging Matt Damon from Saving Private Ryan here), so I didn't really watch it and I'm not familiar with the changelings, but yeah like... watching TLK even as a little kid I was like, wait, these characters just want food? They're agreeing to follow the villain because they're hungry? That's not evil, that's just being desperate and not seeing a better way out of a bad situation. Like, dang. If my people were starving and a guy showed up promising he'd turn things around if we helped install him as king in place of the guy who beats us up every time we try to hunt on his land, I might go along with it too.

Apparently the live-action movie (which I probably won't watch) tries to "fix" this by making it clear the hyenas live in a barren wasteland because they overhunted, so really it's their own fault they're hungry, which is... a choice. In his review of the movie, Big Joel said something like (paraphrased because it's been a minute), "so they're evil because they're... bad at being animals?" which is a good way of phrasing it. It's one of those choices Disney has been consistently making in these live-action remakes where they try to fix a "problem" in the original movie by over-explaining it and just making things worse and dumber.

[exdraghunt]

I saw the Live Action Little Mermaid last night, so it's time for a review. (tl;dr I thought it was really good) Spoilers ahoy (though really, if you've seen the original you know what's going to happen)

The new Little Mermaid movie hits the same story beats as the original, but it's longer run time (2 hr 15m vs 1 hr 20m) allows it to flesh out its story more and expand on the themes of the original.

I'll start off by saying the casting is great. Halle Bailey stands up easily to Jodi Benson (OG Ariel) in the voice department, and all the actors do a great job in their roles.

The most notable difference between the original and the remake is that Prince Eric gets significantly more screentime. This allows us to know his character much better. He is given a motivation that matches Ariel: both are feeling restricted by their conservative parents trying to squash their desire to explore new worlds. Where Aerial longs for the human world, Eric longs for the sea and other cultures. Eric even gets an "I Want" song (Wild Uncharted Waters). Eric's mother (the Queen) is similar to Triton: struggling to control their headstrong children, and I think that giving us this relationship benefits the film's themes.

The movie opens as the animated film does: with the crew of a sailing ship. However, instead of singing and partying, they are trying to harpoon a dolphin they mistake for a mermaid. In this version of the story, the merfolk and humans are in a kind of cold war. It is explicitly stated that Aerial's mother was killed by humans, thus King Triton hates all humans. While the humans blame the merfolk for the frequent shipwrecks around the island. This gives more weight to the reconciliation between people we will eventually get.

"Fathoms Below" is sung (yes, unlike a lot of Disney remakes, this version is still a musical). Then we go below to the world of the merfolk and a very CGI undersea world. (I do kind of wish the underwater scenes used some live-action footage, nature documentaries have proved its possible to get some spectacular footage of coral reefs). Atlantica, rather than being a gleaming golden palace, is covered in plant and animal life, which I think works better for an underwater world. Nothing would stay without barnacles and anemones for long, after all.

King Triton's adult daughters have gathered (each one is a different ethnicity and tail design. I'm not sure how mer genetics work in this movie), but Ariel, the youngest, is missing. She is, of course, exploring shipwrecks with her best friend Flounder. The World's Most Aggressive Shark attacks, and the two escape.

Scuttle appears (now a Gannet rather than a Seagull, and female rather than male, as she is voiced by Awkwafina) and gives the same incorrect advice as in the original.

Sebastian is assigned to watch over Ariel, and finds her in time for her to swim for the surface to watch Prince Eric's birthday party. Eric is, of course, kind and valiant and expresses his desire to explore rather than stay at home and be a boring King. Ariel is smitten instantly, and rescues him from the shipwreck that follows.

Ursula appears on and off in the opening scenes, watching over Ariel and helpfully monologuing her plans to remind us that yes, she is evil, and yes, she is the Bad Guy. (She is also apparently King Triton's sister. I really don't know how merfolk genetics work in this movie). It's a little heavy handed, but this is a family/kids movie. Melissa McCarthy (Ursula) seems to savor every moment she's on screen, which makes her fun to watch. The animation on Ursula's tentacles is also spectacular.

Sebastian sings a wonderful rendition of "Under the Sea" with some gorgeous visuals to convince Ariel to stay (though I question some of the ocean creatures used. Manatees? in the open ocean?)

We get the confrontation where King Triton destroys Ariel's treasure trove, pushing her straight into the arms of Ursula. We get "Poor Unfortunate Souls" (though without the iconic "Body Language!" line, sad to say). Though this time, Ariel gives up her voice as part of giving up her "mermaid gifts" as opposed to it being a form of payment. I think this is a weaker change (having to offer some sort of payment for a magical change makes more sense than it being an arbitrary thing that must go). Ariel is also given some selective amnesia, making her forget that she must get a kiss within three days (explaining why she's a bit of a ditz and doesn't seem to be trying all that hard to get that kiss).

The movie really uses its longer run time to flesh out Ariel's time in the human world. Her time with Prince Eric feels real and genuine. They share a fascination with the world and exploring it. Them pouring over maps in the study, laughing in the market, and dancing with the villagers feels genuine and makes me believe in their relationship more. The film also cuts out Sebastian's misadventures in the kingdom (including his little battle with Chef Louie) which I think is fine. The movie is, after all, about Ariel.

Ariel also gets a new song here (which is a little odd, considering she has no voice, but its made clear the song is her internal dialogue. Also it gives Halle Bailey more time to shine). "For the First Time" lets us see Ariel enjoying all the new discoveries of the human world.

We get a lovely "Kiss the Girl" sequence in the lagoon, followed by them sneaking back into the castle and giggling as they avoid Eric's mother. (also Grimsby is a gem in this, an onboard Eric/Ariel shipper)

Ursula dons her Vanessa disguise and bewitches Eric, but unlike the animated film, they never get quite as far as the actual wedding. During the reception Scuttle attacks (just Scuttle, she doesn't summon all the ocean creatures. It's a fine change). Then, Ariel gets to pounce on Vanessa/Ursula and snatch her voice back. It's nice to see Ariel get more agency.

A similar change happens in the big Climatic Final Battle, where instead of damsel-in-distress Ariel getting saved by Eric, it's the other way around. Ariel steers the ship into Ursula, saving Eric's life. Again, it's nice to see Ariel having more agency and taking matters into her own hands.

We, of course, get a happily ever after. But now, Ariel and Eric are headed out to explore the sea, meet new people, and find uncharted waters. Both King Triton and the Queen have learned to let their children go to be happy.

Now, were there some things I didn't like in this movie? A few, but most of it can be handwaved by this movie being a fantasy. For example: where the hell is Eric's kingdom? It's tropical (there's palm trees and rainforest) and on an island. It's apparently not part of Europe (Eric mentions trading with Europe), but features a very European palace. And all the villagers have Jamaican accents (is that where Sebastian gets it?). Ultimately it doesn't matter, it's just kind of weird.

The horse drawing their carriage also just apparently stays put whenever Eric and Ariel run off to have fun. What a good horse.

Scuttle also gets a song number, which is a rap shared with Daveed Diggs (Sebastian). It's apparently very divisive, but I thought it was fine and cute.

In the end, I think that this movie works well. It builds upon the themes of the original, expanding the world and fleshing out the characters. It doesn't feel bloated with extra scenes, the longer run time works to its advantage in giving us more time exploring our characters and their motivations. I like seeing more of Prince Eric's personality, and more of Ariel's fascination with the human world. (A common complaint lobbed at the original is that Ariel gives up her agency for love, but in both versions of the film, it is her father's overbearing possessiveness and destruction of her things that drives her to the Sea Witch. Ariel loves humans, not just Prince Eric)

A sequel or two has been suggested, and I am cautiously optimistic. If you're a fan of the original, I recommend the remake.