#yes I was and am that person who feels absolutely distraught by fictional conflict a

[checkadii]

[through tears] Finished my last souju bottle and i might be a little tipsy and I’m thinking abt vash being drunk but not the happy elevated no one can touch me here drunk but the everything is swimming and im drowning and somehow i feel deeper than rock bottom drunk again no one talk to me

On the other hand I’m considering starting arcane (again)

(Again) because I reached episode 2 but for some reason the plot in general stresses me out so bad I stopped watching 😭 I want to know abt it…. I yam curious…. But also. Lord

I also need to rewatch Klaus,,,,, and work on spiderverse sona and oc… and my bg3 ocs,,, many things to do so little time and motivation. Sigh

M also thinking about. Trigun sky au again. Auhgnngngng sorry just. Eden guide Knives and Wolfwood ☹️☹️☹️☹️ thinks so hard abt the insurance girls tending to the repository and aviary… or just. Vault records in general… preserving and recording ….. eye-core [SHOT

Soeakinn of I really do need to write and draw more for the tma au. Sniffs. Eye-hunt archivist wives is real to me . And that statement involving vash. I need to finish it grrr

Buried wolfwood remains to be one of the best things ever tbh. As is Eyehunt millymeryl they make me sooooo normal

[parkminijiminie]

Too much shipping?

Inspired by this post

Disclaimer 1: no ships are being attacked here, this post (as is my blog) is a safe zone and a place of no judgement.The only time I would ever judge another person is if they are being disrespectful and harmful to a member of the band, another fan or the community. 

Disclaimer 2: I don’t see myself as better than anyone else. The point of this post is not to “educate” anyone. In fact I am guilty of doing some of these things to. When I started to ship, I often looked for “proof”, compared moments between ships, over analysed everything and made myself disappointed. It took some thinking and time for me to rid myself of the habits which were harming to me. And even though I don’t think I managed to do it completely, I now have a much healthier (and happier) way of shipping. So, really, I just wanna share my own experience and maybe help someone not make the same mistakes that I did. 

I’ve been thinking a lot this past month or two on shipping and its levels, coming from the fact that my personal believe in my OTP (it’s Jikook fyi but that is kinda irrelevant here) has grown bigger since the beginning of last year and also as a result of all the ship drama that is always active but somehow even more so in the end of 2017/beginning of 2018. As I found myself more and more immersed into the fandom, I got more into shipping as well. I enjoy my OTPs tag; often re-blog things with captions such as “they are in love” “boyfriends”; watch for their interaction in RUN episodes and other official material; fan videos on YouTube and etc. Which in itself is something I think maybe all of us do/did at some point and is normal.

But then I see ship wars and people distraught over lack of moments, accusations on the company from “preventing” or “hiding” them, fans attacking each other and insulting members and I start to wonder if there is such thing as too much shipping and too much believing. Like, how much is enough and when does it get too much? 

For example Jikook. I do believe there is a real possibility of them being together and yes, out of all the ships within BTS  to me they seem as the one with the highest chance of being romantic. I have my reasons to think like that (which I will not list because it’s not important here at all even though I have basically made a list like that on my blog which is beside the point). But then again the same is valid for every other shipper out there as well, who may say the same thing. (and we all know all of us can’t be right, if someone is even right at all). 

And the thing is every ship (Jikook included) is at this point just that: a ship. Because nothing is confirmed and nothing is unfortunately cannon. (maybe headcannon, but excuse me, I am biased).

For me personally, it is best to not let myself have a 100% belief (don’t attack me as a fake shipper please) and to always keep in mind that even though it might seem one way, it could very well be the other. We just don’t have the whole information. Some things can be indications of a romantic relationship but nothing is certain. Basically I am open to the possibility of it not being real and that way I keep myself sane. 

Because I see a lot of people who get too immersed into the idea of a ship being “real” (a bad choice of words since they are all real people, so be definition every ship is real) and thus become disappointed. 

Let me illustrate this with some examples. (mainly from my OTP since I know them the best but it is applicable to every ship really)

Situation 1: Let’s say JM falls and JK doesn’t run to help him. There for sure will be people taking this a sign that Kook is a “bad boyfriend” or that they “are no longer together”. Or for example let’s imagine Jikook does nothing, absolutely nothing, on Valentine’s day this year. I guarantee there will be people taking this as Jikook not being a thing. Or a real-life example: JM seemingly shrugging JK’s hand off his shoulder: “they are fighting”, “they are breaking up”. JM talking with Taemin backstage: “they are an item”. Now from other ships: T//K eating dinner together: “it’s a date; they are dating”. But don’t think I am attacking my own ship. Here are other examples: JK doesn’t wish T happy birthday on twitter: “he must not care about him anymore”. JK publishing G.C.F: “heartbroken fans” accusing Kook, leaving their ship and closing their accounts. 

Situation 2: Now the opposite thing, innocent moments blown way out of proportion. Two members hug? Proof of the ship! Two members go to the toilet at an award show? They must have fucked! Someone has a bruise on their neck? It means he is having sex with another member! Someone has written a chorus in a new song? It definetely is dedicated to a fellow band mate! Someone snorted during a vlive? Roomates! (I am a little bit guilty for this as well)

Situation 3: Conspiracies. Two members don’t have moments? BH must be hiding them. Other members seem close as well/closer? It’s a cover up! Another OTP is having fun? Fanservice! Fanservice! 

Do you see where I’m going with this? Interpreting every single thing is a sign of a break up or conflict or a confirmation of a relationship can become problematic sometimes both for the fan, as well as for the band. For the fan when it is directed inwards because it creates expectations as to how the two people should behave towards each other in general and in a certain situation. And if that expectations are not fulfilled, that can become a source of disappointment and discontentment. In turn this can lead to over reacting and over dramatic responses to everything the boys do that doesn’t equal our idea of what their relationship should be like. 

For the boys and the band it becomes a problem when it is directed outwards: In the form of insulting a member with things such as “Why would X member like Y when Z is so much better. Y is so ugly/stupid/fat and etc” (real example here but I don’t want to call names). Or accusing a member of “coming between”, being “a slut” and “ruining a ship” to the point of sending death threats. Or hating on a member of the own OTP for caring for someone else outside the preferred ship. Or attacking other shippers because they don’t think the same way, insulting and abusing them through social media. Or disregarding the bond between the members by saying “He only talks to make Y to make Z jealous” or “They are not even friends, they don’t even like each  other, it is all a scheme”

I really wish the examples above were something I made up but they are unfortunately completely true. Just go into twitter after a major shipping moment happens and see for yourself. And I think it comes from the extreme level of shipping, the absolute belief of the reality of the ship and the absolute denial of the opposite. It creates an unstable basis for the mind so that when even the slightest disturbance to the ship occurs, it leads to a state of panic. 

Again, it is perfectly possible to believe wholeheartedly in a ship and to never do any of the above. It is possible to think two members are 100% for sure together and still not feel disappointed or outraged if it turns out they are not. And it is possible to be very much into a ship and not see them as romantic at all. In fact I think most of us are healthy shippers. 

It’s just that there is usually a connection between how much a person believes in a ship, how dedicated to it they are and how they react in the face of “opposite proof” (proof of non-reality or proof of the “opposing” ship) . And really, these problems are present in every k-pop fandom, they are shipper from every ship who do this. Still, in some ships it is more common than in other. Here are some common things and predisposing factors that I have noticed: 

Age: the younger the fan, the easiest to fall into some of these traps. Younger fans are simply less mature (which is a given, duh). They take things more personally and are the most likely  to show sign of disappointment and aggression. They also often lack the knowledge of what is acceptable and what is not and are more easily influenced by other people.

Quality and quantity of moments: more moments = a bigger feeling of security in the ship. Less moments and/or more interactions between the “opposing” ship = less security in the ship. Which plays a role in two ways: shippers of the less active ship tend to be the more defensive, attack more frequently, create conspiracies and hype excessively when they do have a moment. Shippers of the more active ship have a sense of security so they tend to be calmer. That has it’s dangers too: if the ship doesn’t fit the determined norm or if takes a turn for the calmer side, that creates bigger disappointment. (It is more painful to fall from a high place than from a low). Which lead to the next point:

Change in dynamics: if the interactions in one ship become more intimate while in the other one things stay more or less the same, it can also be seen as a “disturbance” and lead to the problems mentioned above. 

Popularity: the more popular-> the bigger the fan base -> more support in case of bad behavior.  It is easier to act out when there are a lot of people backing you. It is also easier to not realize you’re in the wrong when everyone around you is making the same mistakes.

Conclusion1: There really isn’t a set border to when shipping is becoming too much. Generally speaking everything is fine (creating theories, watching shipping videos, reading fan fiction and etc) if it isn’t preventing you from your living own life, if it as a source of happiness and positive emotions and if it isn’t harming to you or other people. As long as it gives you joy and is done respectfully, you are good to go!

Conclusion2: But if it becomes a source of negative emotions to you, if it causes you to act in a way that is harming to other people, if it completely takes over your life to the point of preventing you from living it, then maybe all this energy could be focused somewhere else, where it will do you and others more good. 

Other posts on similar themes: 

 Toxic shipping;  

 About ships and G.C.F;  

Jimin and Jungkook on their own and together 

P.S Let’s have a peaceful discussion and be gentle and civil with each other! 

[notatypicaldimension]

Tagged!

Thanks for tagging me @theragamuffininitiative ! 

I tag @hurtbyintensejourneys @thylovelylionheart @falconhawk9​ 

— what was your last…

1. drink: tea!

2. phone call: my mom.

3. text message: to a group chat with friends 

4. song you listened to: “Meltdown” by Lorde, Q-Tip, Push, HAIM, Stromae

5. time you cried: uuuhhh I think it was a couple of days ago, when I was just trying to get out of some pretty bad states and actually felt OK enough to cry so it was a good thing! 

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: No.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: No.

8. been cheated on: No.

9. lost someone special: Sorta....if the term is used quite broadly.

10. been depressed: Haha. Yes. Ofc. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Niet. 

— fave colours

12. Purple, or gray/black scale probably. 

13. I actually quite like brown....so maybe that? 

14. Hm. Probably a deep navy? Like a sailor outfit blue? 

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Yes. Absolutely. 

16. fallen out of love: No. 

17. laughed until you cried: lol yes (thank you to theinsanereader for your book wedding video)

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes! 

19. met someone who changed you: Hahahahah...yeeeesss. Helped me a lot tbh. 

20. found out who your friends are: In a way. Like it’s not that I didn’t know before, it’s more like now I understand it better in terms of human leanings etc. 

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Uuuhhhhh....no, not on the lips.

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Nearly everyone, there are a few I only know via the internet somehow, but I still know them from everyday things, or I have already met them.

23. do you have any pets: Nope!

24. do you want to change your name: No. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Oh boy. It was a weird day but good. I spent time with a cute lil kiddo, went on a walk and saw lots of flowers, watched an episode of doctor who, went out for starbucks with a friend, and got to hold a baby amongst some other more ritualistic things. 

26. what time did you wake up today: like, 10:30 or so. 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Probably just listening to music and...um...maybe writing down in my diary or something?? idek.

28. what is something you can’t wait for: Hmm...this is gonna sound lame but fr I have very little social life so seeing a couple of friends once their schooltime frees up a bit more or whatever....oh! and also my little sister is competing this weekend o I can’t wait to go and watch her and her team :)

30. what are you listening to right now: Static, for the most part, and in the muffled background, my family just doing everyday things (lil screeches, telling offs, whAT?! etc.) lol. 

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: For sure. 

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: HA. The government, and some approaches that the American Evangelical Church seems to be oblivious to or non-sympathetic smh. 

33. most visited website: “Youtube and Tumblr are probably about equal.” (lol same)

34. hair colour: Brown. 

35. long or short hair: Long..

36. do you have a crush on someone: No... at least I don’t think so. Idek if I get crushes or whatever idek it’s confusing moving on

37. what do you like about yourself: Ooh. I like that the single most re-occuring obstacle in my life is that I’m so confusing to both myself (im still learning its ok to be me) and the entire world that it’s very, VERY conflicting in odd ways and that that is what makes everything mean things to me.....it’s like my essence etc. and I now know my main passion etc......tl;dr I like that I’ve figured out what the single epitome of most of what I am is and how its path has severely been distraught, and that though it’s going to take a lot of work to get back, it’s also just going to be the most incredible thing. 

38. want any piercings: nope.

39. blood type: sis, if y’all think I’m gonna put out vip information like that on this already crackhead-justice owned website by same-type  company like yahoo, y’all are w r o n g.  

40. nicknames: Uuuuhhhh. idk. @hurtbyintensejourneys​ , you should give me one. 

41. relationship status: Single. And probably most definitely not ready to mingle (but it’s ok! I’ll be someday, sometime soon...ish)

42. sign: Taurus. But I don’t follow horoscopes. 

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: Idek anymore....I love Lie to me, and like rags said, Fringe (tho I am still on like s2 aahh), and maybe Doctor who? I actually love Granite flats and GMW/BMW as well tho. 

45. tattoos: Nope.

46. right or left handed: Right-handed. 

47. ever had surgery: Nope. 

48. piercings: No.

49. sport: Alrighty; look, I will watch just about anything even though I’m bad at it....I think it has something to do with an interest in developing my recognizing of stuff/talent???? also it’s v cool. 

50. vacation: uuuhhh????? Probably my last “”vacation”” was in California? idek. 

51. trainers: I think they’re Nike. 

— more general

52. eating: I just want some sushi right now. The good stuff tho. NOt the *shudders* doobly-tasting kind. I love Asian food that’s not spicy tho. That’s some real bod-foodspiration right there for me.

53. drinking: Water, tea, juice that’s actually juice...... fresh smoothies. 

54. I’m about to watch: probably just safe-feeling trailers for me, so like, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl or something. 

55. waiting for: My mental health/processing desire to buffen up a little so I can actually start doing things again maybe (that’d be nice). Perseverance, basically, I guess.

56. want: Soundproof area maybe, to record //things//? A small local group of friends. 

57. get married: At some point, maybe. I’d not be surprised if I end up single tho. BUt I feel like I won’t which is....honestly.....sorta scarier for me rn dfhbjdhsbjdf

58. career: lol. idk. God’s plan? 

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: eyes, I think.

61. shorter or taller: taller

62. older or younger: depends

63. nice arms or stomach: niCe ArmS oR SToMacH? (bruh idk)

64. hookup or relationships: relationships is the only way to go, and not only in romance my friends. 

65. troublemaker or hesitant: Uuuhhh....hesitant. but you know what...imma pretend I come off as, like, a fine brand so. Hésitante. 

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: No lol. 

67. drank hard liquor: No. Thank GOD. 

68. turned someone down: Only one (1) time. Sorta. 

69. sex on first date: N o. 

70: broken someone’s heart: I actually don’t know. I don’t think so. I hope not. 

71. had your heart broken: Not like that, but also yes. At least a little. It’s sorta like having to go back and unstitch a stitch of yourself that’s all messed up; you thought you’d be ok with moving on from it, except ways further along you realise that you can’t and then having to go undo everything and start back up but even then your thread is all folded up and a little extra rugged. 

72. been arrested: No. 

73. cried when someone died: I want to say yes. But I actually am not sure. For sure, in fictional chracters so....(dad from my big fat greek wedding voice) there you go

74. fallen for a friend: No....I don’t think so. 

— do you believe in

75. yourself: Sorta. But inherently? yes. 

76. miracles: !!!! yes! If y’all knew some of the stories I’ve known....I love God so much I can’t even. It’s so marvelous. I just....Ah!

77. love at first sight: Yes, but only because I think it’s like some weird intuitive thing that’s legitimate for some people. Or maybe even a spiritual thing sometimes? 

78. santa claus: “He exists in every way that counts.” 😂 looolll

79. angels: Yes. Again, if y’all knew...

— misc

80. eye colour: brown

81. best friend’s name: I don’t have a best friend rn. 

82. favourite movie: Idk. 

83. favourite actor: Idk!

84. favourite cartoon: *Idk intensifies*

85. favourite teacher’s name: Not gonna say any specific names, but probably my German teacher in middle school, or 5th grade teacher. Also, non-official teacher friend man who taught me abstract concepts way beyond my grade level. I love them so much and they continue to have a very important impact in my life voyage.