#yes I should work on my infinite wips instead

[mooncakebun]

Drew a Xie Lian yesterday to let off some steam after work. 🙏

Sketch on paper with digital adjustments.

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

I was tagged by @emilykaldwen! Thank you for this!

How many works do you have on AO3?

19 Works!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

426,366

3. What fandoms do you write for?

asoiaf/fire & blood/HotD & Realm of the Elderlings (a book series by Robin Hobb)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All Kings Are Beautiful (HotD) (the winner by a huge margin); Inside a Chrysalis, Writhing (HotD); Sunlight and Air (ROTE); Unbound and Infinite (ROTE); Drown the Stage with Tears (ROTE)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I do! Interaction is one of the main reasons I take time out of my original projects to write fic and you only get as well as you give!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably My Lady Deserves Better, especially if you know what happens in Fool's Assassin (the first book in the final Realm of the Elderlings trilogy by Robin Hobb).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As of now? Sunlight and Air

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Only once, recently. Some people apparently can read a fic full of more conventional smut but draw the line when a dude gets pegged by women!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I can and have (see above), but usually the smut is not the main course.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Our Fathers Clad in Red is written with @aifsaath and I also share custody of an AU with @alloysius-g

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Regal Farseer x Gary Golden, Aegon II x Baela Targaryen,

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

A sequel to Sunlight and Air. I think my ROTE fics will be one-shots mostly from now on unless I'm working on the modern AU.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that I'm good at creating engaging characters and that my stories have a strong sense of interiority. My prose flows pretty well and I can turn a nice phrase. I also think that I'm pretty good at writing absurd and slightly satirical humor.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Some of my favorite writers have very lush descriptive language, and I've been trying to improve on that end because sometimes I feel like my characters are a bit too much in their own heads. In my original fiction my weakness is definitely meandering too much in my plotting.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I generally don't, instead I indicate in the narrative when characters are speaking another langauge.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Realm of the Elderlings

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Lay off that whiskey (and let that cocaine be), a ROTE modern AU crack fic. Look, this fic is incredibly niche and extremely ridiculous but if you like Robin Hobb's books you really should read it (and @alloysius-g's contributions to the verse) because it's hilarious and I'm quite proud of it. I also think that the fic I am co-writing with @aifsaath , Our Fathers Clad in Red, is quite good. Tagging: @whatevsbla, @tragediegh, @lairn, @theothermaidoftarth, @mellowthorn, @aifsaath

[angstmongertina]

WIP Wednesday Results/Sentences

Once again, the poll has ended, and I feel like at this point, I should just accept that all of the fics are going to be from two fandoms instead of searching for others to include. This is just My Life Now lol.

Thank you to everyone for voting! Snippets and ever less coherent summaries are under the cut!

Oh Brother -- From the shared 'verse with Tea where our delegates' children fall in love. And their siblings are So Tired. SO TIRED, guys. (I wrote more than 2 sentences because i haven't worked on it at all since last time but I'm only sharing two.)

It’s almost a blessing when the next Summit rolls around, where surely one of them will seize the opportunity before his departure to say something. So naturally, neither of them do.

forever i'm yours, forever i do -- The ArtemRosa fic I should probably remove because I work on it as often as I can regardless just because it is my main focus and I've already been here for over a month send help. (2 sentences but some of them are short sentence fragments so it totally counts, right?)

It’s not until she shifts closer, their entwined hands resting on her lap, that he realizes he’s been worrying with the ring, stroking it like he’s reminding himself that it’s there. That she’s here, with him. That she won’t leave. That she’s his.

Spiral Point -- Once again, my 7KPP childhood "friends" AU, because I do love them, even if I am a horrible god to them. (2 sentences)

“It is I who must apologize, my lady. I fear I am poor company to keep at parties.” For a heartbeat, he glanced in the direction of General Falon, his lips curling in disapproval, but she barely noticed over a sudden, inexplicable wave of panic.

That Which Binds Us -- Yes hello working on this is wonderful and also I need to replay FEA again lol. (1 sentence)

She folded her arms over her chest. “Perhaps, but they, unlike you, do not have an added burden of leadership on their shoulders. That responsibility cannot be a light burden.”

Seasong -- Back to the mermaid AU. Which has me googling ocean analogies way too much. Am I leaning into this too much? Perhaps. (3 sentences but we're counting the dialogue as just one.)

“Hello? Who’s there?” The hoarse whisper sliced through the darkness, sharp as a blade. In spite of herself, she jerked, chains rattling at the movement, and bit her lip.

Face to Face -- More Nadia and Thomas (the idiot children ship I have with Tea) because I have lost control of my WIPs. (1 sentence but that somehow became like five because, again, I have no self-control.)

Squeezing onto the steps, he cast his gaze up, and then froze. Vaguely, he heard someone behind him curse, felt the push as they slammed into him, but he barely even noticed. Nadia had always been beautiful. From the moment she had been old enough to begin attending social events, she, tall and striking and the heir to Galerford, had been easily established as Jiyel’s most eligible. Logically, he knew that, and yet… And yet, somehow, he must have never known that at all.

beneath the shroud of night -- So, in my humble opinion, the Blizzardous cards had interesting potential on the story, but the execution was... let's just say mediocre at best. I had some ideas about what could improve the pacing and plot, so this is me trying my hand at it. (1 sentence. I know this looks like the beginning and that's because it was, since in my infinite wisdom, I started this writing "some inane beginning" when I jumped into this WIP. Past me was a dick.)

Shadows were flitting in and out, ephemeral and ever-changing, as a man confessed to murder. It was a suitable mood for it; the moon hung, low and heavy, across the sky, half-obscured by the mantle of clouds casting dark silhouettes over the land.

Officium et Honestas -- The SWTOR Regency AU that I started approximately 23845867927 years ago. I'm actually a full chapter ahead of what I have posted on AO3 but I still haven't touched it in far too long. (1 sentence)

Rhinaa herself might not have noticed her partiality, but if the knowing glances from the rest of the family were to be understood, she was the sole individual still in the dark on the matter.

I perhaps should write more on some of these, but I'm weirdly tired today and I'm already posting at the last minute, so we're gonna call it here LOL.

[wordsnstuff]

20 Mistakes To Avoid in Enemies To Lovers

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Weak Conflict

There should always be a strong, compelling source of tension between two people who are considered enemies. Even if their rivalry stems from external sources, such as bad blood between families or competing for a number one spot, there should always be a concrete reason why they hate each other.

Not Explaining Forgiveness

When one of these conflicts subsides, or a tense moment resolves, it should be justified. Tension and emotions shouldn’t disappear because you’re trying to stuff romantic moments in here and there. If one of your characters crosses a line and the other character chooses to forgive them, there needs to be a clear and understandable reason. It doesn’t always have to sit well with the reader. Your character can make a blatantly stupid decision, but it needs to serve the plot. 

No Tension To Be Found

If your characters have to verbally or physically assault each other to demonstrate the tension between them, you’re doing it wrong. If they have to kiss for the reader to see that they like each other, you’re doing it wrong. Tension is in the little things. It’s in the instances that most people would overlook, but your characters zero-in on because the subtext is too thick to gloss over. Tension is the most important plot device in enemies-to-lovers stories, so it requires a lot of time and attention to minute details. 

Conflict Solved Too Easily

If the rivalry between your characters is one misstep after another, with immediate forgiveness following, the tension won’t build correctly. You’re working your way up to a boiling over moment. A moment where everything comes out and then, once resolved, makes way for the romantic feelings to enter. If the conflicts don’t slowly build on each other, that boiling moment will come out of nowhere and be less satisfying to read. Don’t let your characters off that easily. Enemies aren’t constantly letting things slide. 

Characters Changing For One Another

People don’t need to be exactly the same to see attractive qualities in one another. It’s true that relationships shift your perspective and that it occasionally results in outward changes in behavior, but one or both characters shouldn’t mold their personality around their partner. 

Stupid Potion

If one of your characters has to become oblivious or avoid critical thought to maintain a relationship with that character, you haven’t made the two characters compatible enough. This is especially true when one or both of your character’s identity revolves around a higher intelligence. They should have enough in common that there doesn’t have to be a giant shift in one or both personalities to work as a couple. 

The Relationship Brings Them Down

The thing about enemies to lovers stories is that the happy endings are usually an indication of the author’s view of what is and is not forgivable in a potential partner. The acceptance of someone’s past mistakes, current flaws, and future struggles. When a love story ends with a couple that repeatedly lower each other or hurt each other, that sends a bad message, and that is your responsibility to avoid. It doesn’t need a happy ending, but it should never have a destructive one. 

Writing Abuse Instead of Rivalry

There is a big difference between writing two equals who have a rivalry slowly falling in love and putting aside their differences, and writing an abusive, predatory love interest who repeatedly hurts, manipulates, and gaslights the main character. Just because you can imagine the character forgiving them doesn’t mean they’re a good partner. Cheating, physical abuse, isolation, passive aggression, and manipulation are not character flaws. They’re not “mistakes” that the character needs to forgive in order to save their relationship. It’s abuse, and when you write a story between an abuser and a victim that has a happy ending, that has consequences. 

Revealing Feelings In A Cliché Way

This is very subjective, however, there are also a plethora of tropes to choose from and an infinite amount of alterations you can apply to make them your own. The objective, however, is to build up to it in a way that creates a satisfying payoff, and an interesting moment that serves all of the work you’ve done to build to it. There’s nothing worse than reading chapters and chapters of build up, anticipating a big moment where sparks fly, and then having all of that tension result in a sad sputter of mediocrity.

Instant Trust

Trust is difficult to build between two people, especially when they have a complicated past. Trust is earned, no matter who you are or what you’ve been through, it’s always a process. It’s never inherent. When two characters have a history of betrayal or hurt, trust is going to be even harder to develop between them, and that process is an opportunity for more tension, character development, conflict, and eventually a satisfying resolution. Trust development is a major plot device, and I recommend you take advantage of it. It’s also a huge opportunity for building romantic tension amongst the angst of trials and tribulations. 

Why Do They Hate Each Other, Though?

There’s a thin line between love and hate, and that line is infatuation; obsession. So, what put the two of them on the bad side of that line? This reason is the main conflict. The overarching plot begins with the point where that rivalry either begins or is challenged after a long while of stagnation, and it ends with the two characters crossing over that line into love. You need to make that beginning point very clear.

Rivalry Shouldn’t Just Dissolve

There needs to be a transitionary period that is tense and awkward with scattered moments that make the effort worth it to both of them. There should be a “Well, we hated each other last week and then they did some really sweet things and now I’m not so sure. Maybe we’re starting to become friends now? I feel really excited when I see them, so I must not hate them anymore, right?” period. 

Complete Opposites

Yes, opposites can attract. Yes, completely different people can fit together very well and have a happy relationship, but this is a cliché and is, in most cases, poorly thought out with little to no originality. 

Love With No Reason

Just like your characters need a reason to hate each other, they need a reason to love each other. There has to be something that makes them work. Not just a common hobby or characteristic or exterior aspect they share, but something that makes them fit together. If they love each other because... they can, your reader will feel like they’re watching two stupid, lonely people tolerate each other’s flaws in the interest of sex or companionship for 100 pages. 

No Actual Conflict Resolution

Relationships are built through conflict resolution. Communication, empathy, effort, and understanding between two people who work to make each other happy. Hollow forgiveness is not apart of that process, and if that’s all there is, you’re not developing a realistic relationship between compatible people, you’re depicting a toxic relationship that, in the case of these origins, can be abusive. 

Underusing Sexual Tension

Sexual tension is great. It’s easy to develop, it has a satisfying payoff, and it doesn’t take up a lot of space on the pages. It doesn’t have to result in x-rated material, especially if you’re writing for a young adult audience, but it’s simple and effective. 

No Awkward Transition Period

A large chunk of the plot should be awkward and uncomfortable to watch. The transition should be organic and make sense for your characters, but all organic movement contains struggle. Nobody goes from hating each other to loving each other overnight, and relationships are complicated and require hard work. Show this.

Catalogue Characters

There are enough stories out there with cardboard characters and self-insert protagonists, especially in romance. Make your protagonists unique and individual. Make your characters diverse and interesting to read about. Readers should have a bit of wiggle room for imagination, but that doesn’t mean they should be filling in the blanks like your characters are Mad Libs. Don’t close your eyes and point at character archetypes to form your cast. It’s obvious and lazy. 

Stagnant Tone

The tone of these stories often falls flat because in the interest of building tension, writers ignore purposeful tone shifting, scene-to-scene. Change it up, make it potent, and make a lasting impact during important moments. Suspense and anticipation shouldn’t just build during the climax and resolution. 

Bad Pacing

When your readers spend hours reading a story that promises a romantic payoff, they expect to see some of it. I think that a three act structure is really effective with this type of arc, with the first third being devoted to building rival tensions, the middle third being the shift from rivals to friends, and the last third building that romantic tension and ending with a happy resolution. 

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[honestlyfrance]

first lines

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

thank you so much @buckyrhodey for the tag!! miss youu 💕

idk what were my last stories so i went deep for these hehe, mostly a mix of published and wips

1. A Better Starry Night (sam/bucky ; horror)

The sky was silent. There’s a thundering crack from down the horizon, heads turning down by the mountainside. It seems to be approaching — faster now.

2. the sweetest tragedy (sam/bucky; mcd) - def a fave of mine!

It's a goddamn tragedy, it's what it is. You love him but he's leaving, high on euphoria with a rank under his name, you're going to lose him in every universe and there's nothing you could do about it.

3. to cease intimacy (sam/bucky ; first date) - this makes me yearn till this day

It's that moment when your heart hitched in your throat and you're unable to breathe freely, feeling asphyxiation nipping at your veins, it’s like you know that your heart was too full of emotion to function right, too much love that sends your heart running a marathon. It was a good feeling, a blissful moment, yet there was that betrayal within it that makes you question your feelings over and over again because there’s that one question running through your head: “Why is it him?” but it’s all good, everything’s peachy-keen because you don’t have to hide it anymore — you had to show it now, however, and that was a wave of dread coming all at once.

4. hug infinitely (sam/bucky ; protective!bucky)

It’s only a fact that you can’t protect who you love from every little inconvenient thing. You can’t fix every crack in the world just so you could breathe easy thinking your love wouldn’t trip. You also can’t make the sun go away so your love can’t get a sunburn on your nice little beach date. It’s miserable thinking that the world just has it’s ways to hurt your love, but that’s reality, and to have it bother you so much, it’s only a tragedy in three acts.

5. falling in love against gravity (sam/bucky ; sam centric) - i loved exploring sam’s experience with flying in this one

Falling was a violent act. You’ll trust the fall with intent so dangerous it’s almost like a kiss with death, and you’ll love it. You’ll love how you can fall backward and have a night with death. You’ll love how you could close your eyes and never open them again. Yet, you fly instead somehow. You fall then you fly, defying the law of gravity.

6. pine (wip name) (sam/bucky/steve ; thirst tweet acc)

The thing is, it didn't happen suddenly at all. They had mulled it all over, understood the risks and consequences. It's dangerous work, and there's no assurance that they'll make it out with their dignity, but what the hell. The 21st century needed more of Captain America and the Winter Soldier pining over the Falcon; let them be.

7. (wip name after mutual heh) (sam/bucky)

Little boys growing up in grand houses and ocean views are the kind of boys who would like adventure, the kind of boys who would yearn for the woods, and cozy little cabins in farms. Instead, December comes and they grow up smoking like chimneys in winter. Yes, little boys grow up and move into cities with blinking white lights, but they always come back seeking adventure.

8. death speaks (they called it kindness) (sam/bucky ; sam centric ; wip)

They say death aches like a motherfucker. Sam Wilson presses on it like a bruise, wanting to feel something before the sensation leaves his senses. He’ll ache for it, flawlessly manipulating it, and sooner or later, he’ll resurface and regret every single bruise he’d made. They say death licks all the wounds of the forgotten faces away, but to Sam, it’s just unforgivable.

9. milkshakes in two (sam/steve/bucky ; stucky fight for sams luv ; wip)

Truth is, love comes in many forms, but the form of a fist fight at a parking lot in three in the goddamn morning, like a modern-day Achilles versus Hector except they both leave with a cut under the eye and a broken nose instead of, you know, a bloody corpse, is just as romantic as leaving cute sticky notes around the house for them to see. It’s even more romantic if they noticed it, but sometimes a romantic gesture such as a fist fight between two supersoldiers need to tilt towards the murder part of Troy before a certain Falcon could notice.

10. field of flowers (sam/bucky fatws drabble 1x03)

When you look into Sam Wilson’s eyes, maybe you might see something surreal. Maybe something you shouldn’t have seen in the first place. After all, the eyes are the window to the soul, wouldn’t it be quite intrusive to look at him so bare?

(yall know my damn first lines are chunky paragraphs long so more below 🥰 )

11. love sweeter than candy, cavities to the heart (sam/bucky) 

It’s not that Sam despised the idea of it, in fact, he breathes it in like cocaine, feeling the rush and instant fall of his senses, and maybe it’s not actually drugs to him but maybe something milder, like, a kiss, one that is so slow and soft that it makes him scream at the deprivation, making himself aware of how desperate he just was about touch, literally any sort of touch, but then again, it’s Sam we’re talking about; suppressed and no-nonsense, he couldn’t possibly want something so good like some cliche grand romantic gesture that is too cheesy for its own good, and maybe it’s for the best that he keeps quiet about this want because it’s not like he gets it every day.

12. Partners (sam/bucky)

It was in the bathroom of a safe house that Sam Wilson finds himself bandaging himself up. There was a small gash on his forearm from the afternoon before; it ran down from below his shoulder blade to above his elbow, but it wasn’t as deep as it should be, just looking quite raw but wouldn’t need any serious stitching.  He’s been washing the same spot with clean water from the faucet for the past solid half hour, the sound of water gushing echoing in the tiny bathroom.

13.  oranges in october (sam/bucky) - this one!! this!!

You’d think that just because he had wings and he flies, that makes him an Icarus. Icarus fell to his death. He did not resurface, he did not live beyond that power. Sam Wilson soared high into the missiles of war and came back battered and red, dripping love and death as he stands in the aftermath of it all. You think he was an Icarus when he was actually Apollo. Anyone who gets close to him falls to the ocean waves, then sooner than later, he’s left singing eulogies as his heart rattles in a cage.

14.  It Rains Every April 10th (sam/bucky; mcd) - this too! ive been told by someone that this was the most accurate desc of depression theyve seen

Depression hits like a wave on a cliffside — sometimes you see it coming, sometimes you didn’t see it, and sometimes you just let it happen. It sometimes gnaws at your skin, always there, but more of a ghostly hand hovering over you; there’s that presence but you think you don’t have enough proof to prove it existed. Times like these you try your best to move but you become unmotivated, absolutely immobile except for the moments your body decides to exhaust itself for unrelated things you shouldn’t be doing. It takes a toll on you you wouldn’t even realize, and even then, who else realized it? You’re just tired. You don’t cry. You’re just tired.

15. to hold dear (sam/bucky)

Bucky Barnes didn’t want a lot of things. He’s got a really low bar of standards now, even just waking up without a threat on his life counts as a win. He doesn’t even mind if there wasn’t any more soap in the bathroom; he’s just glad he’s got a shower in the first place. Breakfast? God, he’s just glad that he could walk around a house with his guard let down.

i have no more (:

tagging: @enchanted-lightning-aes @siancore @pianistwriter80 @glittercake @lesbians-love-samwilson @mariahthelioness29 @rhodeslabs @lovelyirony :)

[ryqoshay]

OTP Ask Meme (Impatient Edition) NicoMaki

Yeah, I know the point of these things is to wait for followers to Ask questions from the list, but reading though this one got me thinking too much. And, as the title implies, I got impatient and wanted to answer them all. Right away.

Anyway, credit to @lonelypond​ for this version coming across my dash. Reblog that version if you want to do this thing correctly.

Also, just because I’ve already answered these here, I’ve expanded on some for various reasons and left others short if I believe the reasons are obvious. So if you still want to do the whole interactive thing, you can still ask for clarification or whatever.

And finally, there will be spoilers ahead for How to Handle a Nico, both scenes I’ve written and posted, as well as some that remain in my Notes and WIP Warehouse. I’ll try to remember to link to the chapters mentioned.

1. Who wakes up first?

Nico, so she can make breakfast for her Maki.

2. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Maki. Usually because she studies or works later and/or longer hours. She is also not above pulling Nico back into bed when she comes to wake her.

3. Who takes longer getting ready?

Usually Nico.

4. When they can’t sleep, what do they do?

Maki’s libido can pretty much always be counted on to at least exhaust Nico, if not both of them.

5. Who falls asleep while watching a movie?

Depends on who had a rough day or week at work/school, though Maki may get bored and either watch Nico or fall asleep during overly sappy romance movies.

6. Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile?

Either, depending on the stresses of the prior day.

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

Nico intentionally. Maki unintentionally.

8. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

They both are, though in different ways. This is depicted in Consolation Prize.

9. Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling?

Maki, especially if she is in an unfamiliar place.

10. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

Both, though Maki only in retaliation for whatever teasing Nico may have done.

11. Who rearranges the bookshelf/DVD shelf in alphabetical order?

Nico likes a proper presentation of her idol merch. Maki is too busy with other stuff to care about special organization.

12. Who does the hands-over-the-eyes “Guess Who” thing?

Nico.

13. Who points out a dog when they see one?

Either.

14. Who’s prone to road rage?

Maki, especially when she is trying to get to the hospital when called in at some odd hour, or trying to get home after a stressful day.

15. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoor (or to sleep)?

Nico gets cold easier. Warm socks help.

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

Nico, partly out of habit from doing it with her siblings and partly as an excuse to offer to help Maki put it on. Depicted in Sunscreen.

17. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

Nico.

18. Who gets the window seat?

Nico. Maki traveled enough with her parents and is happy to let her girlfriend see the sights instead.

19. Who puts their cold hands/feet on the other?

Nico intentionally. Maki unintentionally, usually.

20. What do they argue about the most?

I don’t believe anyone has been brave enough to track the data for this.

21. Who’s clumsier?

Maki, especially in the kitchen. Nico has her moments though.

22. Who texts more often?

Nico. With heavy emoji use. (I need to depict this more in HtHaN somehow)

23. Who is better with kids?

Nico. She was the primary caregiver for her siblings for many years after all.

24. Who’s the better cook?

Nico. See above.

25. Who mistakes salt for sugar?

Maki. Even after Nico labeled the containers.

26. Who puts the fork in the microwave?

Maki.

27. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

Nico. Maki isn’t allowed to cook without Nico’s supervision. However, this would be a rare occasion as Nico typically will prepare something ahead of when Maki is arriving home this late and leave it for her to reheat.

28. Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 a.m.?

Maki, when she’s reheating whatever Nico made for her after arriving home late.

29. Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies?

Both.

30. Who likes doing the dishes?

Nico, though it would be more appropriate to say she doesn’t dislike it.

31. Who has bigger cravings? What are they?

Nico loves her sweets. Maki loves her Nico.

32. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Nico is highly attentive to Maki’s preferences in food. Knowing what Maki likes in restaurants lets her know what she can make at home. And food is definitely one of the best ways to Maki’s heart.

33. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors?

Nico likes sundaes with lots of sugary toppings. She also likes trying new flavors and will often get multiple scoops of different flavors. Maki is fine with a single scoop cone.

34. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

As often as their schedules allow. Maki likes quite dates like walks in a park or museum or sitting up on a hillside for stargazing. Nico likes shopping for outfits and idol merch, going to movies and bustling amusement parks. But both love watching the other enjoy their hobbies so they’re willing to go along with the other’s interests as well.

35. What do they smell when they smell Amortentia?

Nico smells her father’s aftershave, strawberries, and stewing tomatoes. Maki smells Nico’s special tomato curry, Nico’s shampoo, and the cinnamon sugar of the snickerdoodle cookies the Nishikino baker made for her to leave out for Santa.

Yes, two of Maki’s are directly related to Nico. What can I say? She’s addicted.

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

Maki. The more tired or drunk she is, the clingier she gets.

37. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

Maki. Nico gets cold easier, so Maki is usually the one to offer her jacket.

38. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving?

Yes.

39. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch?

Nico, because she is the only one who makes lunch for them both; Maki isn’t the type to do such a thing even if she were allowed to cook more. (Bonus: What does it say?) Usually the messages are simple affirmations of love, but she is not above getting snarky if the two had an argument recently.

40. Who is the most affectionate?

Nico in public. Maki in private.

41. Who is the big spoon/little spoon?

Usually, Maki is the big spoon as she is quite fond of hugging her Nico like a teddy bear, though Nico will sometimes jetpack.

42. What is their favorite feature of their partner?

Maki loves Nico’s smile, particularly her genuine, unforced, non-idol persona smile. Nico loves Maki’s voice, specifically her singing voice.

43. What is the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Nico starts teasing Maki more, no longer to “put the spoiled rich girl in her place” but rather to see more of the adorable reactions. Maki actively tries to deny her feelings, even to, or perhaps especially to herself, falling back on established habits of insisting that she doesn’t have time to date, all the while quietly continuing to seek more time with Nico.

44. What are their nicknames for each other?

Both exclusively use -chan with the other.

45. Who worries the most? Over what?

Early on, both are worried about losing the other for different reasons. Nico is afraid that should a scandal occur that ruins her idol career, Maki may blame herself and leave. Maki fears that a busy schedule of studying in medical school followed by long hours at the hospital may turn away someone like Nico, whose attention seeking seems infinite. Later, as they settle into their relationship, their concerns turn to more stereotypical adult fears; traffic or transit accidents, sever illnesses, etc.

46. Who initiates kisses?

Nico in public. Maki in private.

47. Who says I love you first? How did it happen?

Nico, by accident, as depicted in Spoken.

48. Who tells their friends/family about their relationship first?

Technically Maki in both cases, though with their friends, Nico was active in the chatroom, and with their mothers, Maki only beat Nico by maybe half an hour or so. These instances are depicted in Reconstructed Reunion and Telling Mama.

49. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Both have busy schedules, even as early as the years immediately following high school, so spending time away from each other is quite commonplace. This still did not stop Maki from going through a bout of depression during Nico’s first tour as a professional idol, as depicted in Homesick and Homecoming. From then on, Maki starts a tradition of visiting Nico during longer tours so as to break up their time away a bit.

50. Who gets overwhelmed by small acts of kindness?

Nico, as the more romantic of the two. This isn’t to say Maki doesn’t value sentiment, she just has other ways of expressing it than being overwhelmed.

[politeanarchy]

There’ll Be Paperwork (a WIP)

Here’s the beginning of a thing I’m writing, in which a snake-demon causes some unintentional problems in the early days of the Earth.

...

Corporation Replacement Request Form Date: 4003 BC Requesting Entity: Principality Aziraphale of the Eastern Gate Cause of Discorporation: demonic bite

It had been several months since Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden. An angel and a demon had been quietly following them for most of that time. On this particular evening, the humans were huddled close to a small fire, doing their best to comfort one another against the chill that followed after sunset, while the angel and demon peered warily at them from behind a couple of concealing boulders.

"We could have a fire, too," said the demon.

"Of course we can't, they'd see it!"

"So?"

"So then they'd come to investigate, and they'd find us, and then they'd be exposed to your evil influences again. Goodness only knows what else you'd manage to tempt them into, given the chance."

The demon made a sort of diffident hmmmm-ing noise. "Don't know what anyone expects me to do, with you here thwarting me left and right." He shivered. "Aren't you cold?"

"Here, sit next to me." The angel shook his wings, then fluffed them up and wrapped them around himself and the demon. "Better?" He picked up a fig from the small stash of fruit he'd brought along and which they'd been sharing fairly amicably.

"A little," agreed the demon. He nibbled a couple of grapes, while trying to pretend not to huddle a little closer to the warm angel. "Besides, if we talked to the humans again, wouldn't it give you a chance to help them, with, you know, blessings or some such?"

"I certainly wish I could help them," the angel fretted. "They're  going to need it, especially since I'm pretty sure Eve is going to have her baby soon." He bit into the soft ripe fig, leaving his fingers slightly sticky with juice.

"How do you know that?" asked the demon. "Have you got a heavenly memo saying that angelic messengers are going to be popping along with it shortly, or what?"

"What? No! That's not how it works at all." The angel waved his hands and gesticulated impatiently, still holding the bitten half of the fig. "You see, she...well, and...I mean..."

The demon wasn't making much attempt to follow the explanation. He knew where humans came from: the Almighty made them, then put them on the Earth, gave them a few simple (and probably contradictory) instructions, and turned them loose. And honestly, the angel's incoherent ramblings wouldn't have made much sense even if the demon had been listening. Whereas the waving hand holding the fig was exactly the sort of thing that predatory reptiles were built to notice.

The demon watched him closely, yellow slitted eyes tracking every motion, head swaying.

"So after nine months...at least I think...oh, this is ridicu— Hey!"

There was a sudden movement, like a snake striking. The angel was startled to find that his remaining fruit had been stolen, licked out of his fingers by the demon who was still holding him by the wrist, staring with intense focus at the remaining patches of sweet juice.

"I beg your pardon!"

"Sssorry. Inssstinct."

They stared at each other, the space between them charged with complex tensions.

"You're still holding my hand."

"I ssuppose I am." Without breaking eye contact, the demon brought the angel's fingers back up to his mouth and deliberately licked some juice off them. This resulted in a sharp intake of breath from the angel, followed by a wicked smile from the demon. "Dissstracting, is it?"

"No! Yes. I mean..."

"You don't ssseem to be asssking me to ssstop, though."

"Why are you doing this, anyway?"

"Dunno. It's interesssting." He was looking sleeker and more sinuous than usual, forked tongue flicking out to taste the air, teeth grown longer and sharper.

The angel may have been aware of the changes, but was also pretty sure he could take his hand away any time he felt like it. He just didn't happen to feel like it, at the moment. It was quite interesting, this business of how bodies reacted to different things. He was here on Earth to observe and learn, after all. In fact, it was practically a duty to find out why it was that this made him feel so uncomfortable, while at the same time making him want it to keep happening.

So he made no move to reclaim his hand, but continued to gaze at the demon curiously. And permitted the demon to close his sharp-toothed mouth around one finger, gently licking off the last traces of fig juice and noticing how its flavor combined with the taste of angel skin.

It was unfortunate that at exactly this moment, a bright light and a swell of unearthly music announced the imminent manifestation of some new angelic presence just a few yards away, on the other side of the boulders they'd been hiding behind.

The demon, startled, bit down hard on the angel's finger.

"Ow!"

"Oh, shit! Sorry! I didn't mean to—"

The angel, after the initial shock of being bitten, realized that something was very wrong with his physical body. Waves of pain were spreading up his arm from the bitten finger, and his eyes wouldn't focus properly. "You idiotic serpent! I think you must be poisonous!"

"I'm not poisonous, I'm venomous!"

Frantically, in his last conscious moments, the offended angel gathered all his holy righteousness and human irritation, and used them to smite the demon as hard as he could.

A few minutes later, when two angelic messengers arrived on Earth to help Eve with the birth of her first baby, they didn't even notice the fading traces of a discorporated angel and a discorporated demon, dissolving quietly into dust and aether. If there was a faint smell of sulphur and charred feathers and ozone, they put it down to the humans' campfire.

Aziraphale shortly found himself back in Heaven, and was eventually presented with a commendation for his heroic actions in the service of protecting Adam and Eve by fighting and eliminating a demonic threat. He shook his head and made a tut-tut sort of noise, and may even have gone so far as to say hmph.

However, it was a relief to return to the familiar serene brightness of the celestial realm. To join in the choirs singing "Holy, holy, holy." To contemplate the ineffable wonder of it all, and especially to think about the Earth, so complicated and confusing. To worry a little about how Adam and Eve were doing. To wonder what had become of the demon who was so full of curiosity. To miss having a body that was able to experience physical sensations. To admonish himself for being full of unseemly questions and unsuitable desires.

He stared out across an infinite expanse of pristine firmament and fidgeted, tapping his fingers and wondering what to call his current state of discontent. Heaven didn't understand the concept of boredom, but Aziraphale was beginning to.

"Aziraphale! Just the angel I was hoping to see."

"Gabriel." He nodded politely at the Archangel.

"I've come to inform you that you're being re-assigned to Earth. From what we hear, some demonic force is causing problems again. Might even be the same one you got rid of when you were down there before. Aaaaand since you handled him so neatly the last time, well." Gabriel smiled, smooth and shiny as a platinum credit card.

Aziraphale stopped himself from jumping up and down, and suppressed a joyful cry along the lines of "Yippee!" Instead he smiled back, and hoped he was projecting a sense of cheerful enthusiasm for duty rather than oh thank goodness I can finally get out of this stifling office. "I'm always happy to help, in whatever way the Lord should require of me."

Gabriel beamed, and punched him playfully on the shoulder. It hurt a bit. "That's the Holy Spirit I like to see!"

Aziraphale wondered whether Gabriel's rampant enthusiasm meant that no one else had been willing to take the Earth job, or if he was just imagining it. It didn't much matter, he supposed. He was impatient to get going as soon as possible.

"When should I expect to leave, then?" he asked.

"Right away." Gabriel materialized a stack of pages, and handed them over. "You'll just need to fill out some paperwork, first."

[kiliosthestarmaker]

Nyehehe 1-49 >.> all of dem 😏😉

I EXPECTED THIS BUT YOU’RE GOING TO K I L L M E

The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?

YES, Gods yes! The inspiration! The characterizations! The playlists I listen to when dealing with a particular character I love it I crave it!

2.     Are you a pantser or a plotter?

Plotter, most things have already been decided on within my stories.

3.     Computer or pen and paper?

Computer, I’ll use a pencil and paper only when I have no tech on me. 

4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’d like to be published

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

Interesting question, I have no clue

6.     Single or multiple POV?

Kind of multiple? It’s all in third POV but we follow around different characters

7.     Standalone or series?

*cackles* SERIES

8.     Oldest WIP

A whole series called Ratio Cor that I finally got back too

9.     Current WIP

Worlds Rejoined

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

No. Gods no, I’d stress myself out.

The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Lord of The Rings

J.R.R. Tolkien

George Martin

Harry Potter

Rick Riordan

C.S. Lewis

My two writer friends Wolfe and Jacks

12.  Describe your perfect writing space

My room, blasting with music in the morning when I have no school

13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Sure

A) Wake up at 2 AM with an idea

B) write it down 

C) go back to sleep until you have to wake up properly

D) Write out a decent plot

E) Characters

F) World Building (My fav part)

G) Write and Feel your book

H) Make others suffer with you

14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?

Music and talking to Wolfe

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

Music, scrolling through Tumblr, talking to Wolfe and Jacks

16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Who the heckity heck knows

17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Grab some food and a drink

18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I WOULD COLLABORATE WITH @princess-east AND @stressedwolfe and it would probably either be about the gods or some action/adventure/fantasy thing and we’ve done it before AND ALSO @koalajake CAUSE THE IDEAS HE HAS 

I

ADORE

19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?

My dad expresses interest in my plots (the only family member that do), he tells me about showing it to other people at work or while he’s busy with something and the person just so happen to be there. My loves also encourage me.

there is also music

20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

........ ehe well there is 1 collection, 4 series within that collection and about 3-4 books within each series sans one which will probably have more than that. Other than that...I have many, many ideas

The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favorite character(s) to write?

I absolutely love writing Kilios, not only is he my favorite character, he’s just purely iconic.

22.  Who is/are your favorite pairing(s) to write?

Most of my pairings are platonic as most characters are teens or children. There’s also those who have been married and are widowed now so-

OH THERE IS KOLFE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING THOSE TWO

23.  Favorite author

Wait I have to choose??

24.  Favorite genre to write and read

Fantasy

25.  Favorite part of writing

WORLD BUILDING!!!! I SWEAR ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE LIKE “Hey Kilios you wanna help me build a world for this AU?” or “Hey Kilios can you help me build the world for my story?” AND I WILL BE ALL OVER THAT

26.  Favorite writing program

Lmao does google docs count?

27.  Favorite line/scene

From...from my book?

(Ratio Cor)

“Okay...” She hums softly as she screws on her arm. She flexes the mechanical fingers slowly before twisting her wrist. She grimaces slightly at the creaking of the joint. “Grandfather where’s the thing?”

“What thing?”

“The...the thing...uh...whot yz yt collud… THE OIL!” Kala exclaims after figuring it out. She hears her grandfather laugh. Kala huffs softly at the laughter. Her grandfather taught her the surface language at a young age. He told her it might come in handy one day, but she doesn’t understand why it would. The Markian language was harder to learn afterward.

(Working Title: Caelum Enterprise)

“That's a child.” Kai whispers. Kilios nods his head in agreement. “That’s a child.” 

“Thirteen years old.” Kilios offers with a small grin. Kai’s face turns blank, and he stares at Kilios. A cold rage settles in his soul.

“So, I have to kill Zeus?” Shadow chokes on his laughter as he wraps his arms around Kai’s waist. Kilios snorts in amusement even though he knew his friend could kill the Lightning God if he wanted to.

“Now, now. Revenge is best served cold as you may know.” Kilios hums softly as they smirk at each other. Shadow and Oketh look at each other before shaking their heads in exasperation. “Zeus seems to want this kid somewhat broken down, so we’ll give the child the best childhood.”28.  Favorite side character

Kai and Shadow, purely for their dynamic

29.  Favorite villain

K,,,kilios

30.  Favorite idea you haven’t started on yet?

Three siblings were reborn as siblings in the modern world. One problem, the ex-youngest sibling is the only that remembers their past and the evil that caused them to die before has followed them. So now, the sibling has to reawaken their siblings' past selves and strive off the evil force all alone. What will happen if the evil, instead of harming the ex-youngest sibling, takes them away to where they are treated as they should be and are loved. What happens when their siblings do reawaken and come after them? What happens if the ex-younger sibling doesn’t want to go? After all, they found love in the darkness. They found light within it as well insert King Keir who isn’t willing to let his consort be taken without a fight.

The Dark31.  Least favorite part of writing

The,,, the writing part

32.  Most difficult character to write

Alim??? I guess cause he’s like grandfatherly and most characters I’ve done in the past never met their grandparents?? 

33.  Have you ever killed a main character?

Yes, even better! I’m going to kill one in one of my books!!

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Kilios’,,,, death I’m-35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

KILIOS’ ORIGIN STORY

The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote

“Yeah, I’m alright.” She assures her grandfather after he gives her a look showing that he didn’t believe her. “So, what’s for breakfast?” She quickly changes the subject.

37.  The first sentence or your current WIP

“Three creators, each lost in their own right. Their names were taken from books and erased from history. The first to come back will be the one who breathes the anger of volcanoes. Next will be the one who freezes the stars. Finally, the one with powers that are forbidden will come to light. Once together united as one. All will hail the Cold Sun.”

38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

All of them

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

A manipulative character that ends up saving the world due to having the ability to see at least ten steps of ahead and calculating an infinite amount of possibilities for options due to having who is literally the concept of the creation of stars and demihumans/hybrids as a bearer (Aka Kilios)

40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

AHAHAHAHA

Kyle Evren was born from a phoenix and the Primordial God Khaos. The toddler was neither male nor female. Ze was an outlier much like the being known as Udushunamir, who was a being created by the Egyptian Great God Ea. Kyle was born to die for the Gods.

Kavya Esther was created with the body of Saiph and life was breathed into her by Astraea. Her mother was a phoenix and the Star Goddess Astraea. Kavya was very radiant and creatures of all sizes tended to flock to her. The child was kind and lovely. Kavya was born to die for the Gods.

Kit Keir was born from a phoenix and the Hindu Celestial Deity known as Rahu. Kit was both male and female. Due to cer odd parentage, Kit gained both sexes from cer parents. Kit was a very elusive and dreamish teen. Ce would often be found drifting off into cer own little world without a care of anyone around cem. Kit was born to die for the Gods.

Kilios Caelum was born from the ashes of who he used to be. He was ruthless and tired. He was angry at what he’s been through. He swore to rise far above what he attempted to accomplish beforehand. He would build an empire, he would rise to the sky. Kilios refused to die for the Gods.

The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Jot down any idea you have, no matter how vague or bizarre it is, write it down.Research, for the love of the gods, research whatever you need for your book and please please use multiple sites.Talk to other writers and ask for input, it’s alright to be nervous so just message them privately. Hell, you can ask me I’m always up for learning about new writers.

42.  How do you feel about love triangles?

As long as it makes sense and doesn’t cause the main plot to be pushed as a subplot I’m good with it fam

43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

Mutter dark threats under my breath and curse my characters for putting me in the backseat of my own damn writing.

44.  How much research do you do?

Literally, a third of my whole writing process is contributed to pure research.

45.  How much world building do you do?

By the time I’m done, if someone finds it they’d think I just found the world and wrote down what the people told me.

46.  Do you reread your own stories?

Yes and it’s physically painful

47.  Best way to procrastinate

Youtube and Drawing

48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

KILIOS IS LITERALLY ME THEN HE WENT OFF AND GOT HIS OWN STORY THE BASTARD

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

All of them because they are my children and I love them.

[mangaka-neko-chan]

Ya’ll know what time it is. It’s “Let’s talk about something *very unhappy noises*” tiiiime.YAYYYYY!!

So apprently there are some leaks about the new killer’s powers on reddit. This could be a hoax and that’s very likely because, for my part, there are many many things so unclear with this describtion.

But I still want to talk about it because if the final thing’s gonna be similar to this, I will definitely lose it. And to not start this all on a negative side, I’ll start with the good things first:

So the Devs gonna use an apprentice of the man we originally thought would be used as a killer. Which is very good, because now the new killer actually fits the gameplay and their role of an active killer instead of an originally really passive and already dead one.

It’s gonna be a female killer. And many many many of us wanted over all more female killers again.

The new “game mechanic” and “ability” brings in a new type of fear and nervosity for Survivors. And since I’m a fan of the tension this game creates. That’s a plus.

And that’s it.

Now to the more critisizable part, yaaaa.

So Idk, another Trapper character? We have a Trapper already. It’s the same point we had with Leatherface. Yes, he is no Hillbilly copy, because Hillbilly is actually based on Leatherface. But in this case Leatherface felt like a Hillbilly copy, since Hillbilly was in DBD first. So now another character who uses similar gadget like another killer who is already in game, feels still uncreative. And I swear, if some of the add ons are the same as Trappers... (very unlikely tho due to the new traps function WHICH BRINGS US TO THE NEXT AND MAIN POINT).

The function of the traps. If I look at the describtion, it’s what mostly let me say: “Ok. This can’t be real.” Because it’s so vague! It’s very hard to read but the list says:

Start the trial with 4 Reverse Bear Traps:

“Reverse Bear Traps are put on Dying Survivors.” “RBTs automatically sacrifice the survivor when they trigger.” “RBTs trigger automatically beyond the exit gates.” (see where this is going?) “RBTs trigger once their timers expire.” “RBTs timer start when a generator is completed” “Survivors can free themselves from RBTs by searching Jigsaw Boxes found around the map to find the correct key.”

So there will be one trap per survivor. That’s good. Means that the killer can’t just put seemingly infinite traps on the survivor’s head.They can only be put on survivors on dying state. When you got one of these on you there’s a timer that should go down as soon as a generator, so apparently, ONE, is completed. So it keeps Survivors away from doing gens, gives the Killer more time to do their work. Good. New difficulty. New challenge. Good. The Trap triggers when the timer’s on zero, and will, and that’s the part where we lose us here, sacrifice the Survivor automatically.

*short silence*

I could be now saying “That’s not how it works.”, could be all whiny, and fixate myself on the lore in which the Entity is only, and ONLY fed through the hooks. And not even killing a Survivor by your own hand brings the same delight to the Entity than sacrificing them on the hook. But I will contain myself and see it positively. Maybe we get a new sacrificing animation. Maybe there is new canon lore. I mean it’s also a new game mechanic after all. Maybe it’s just fake, what’s very likely to assume.

Maybe...

But it still seems a lil too drastic to me. I mean, why hooking, why mori when you can “almost mori” survivors without hooking them and you still get the same effect as hooking them which is part of the main difficulty as a killer because there are Survivors who free them and then you have to get them again... you get me here?

Also how long is the timer going? How much time do you have before you get instant game over? Noone knows. (Another point against this being real tbh.)

The Survivor though can free themselfes from the Trap by finding a so called “Jigsaw Box” which inherits a key to their Trap. That’s good. There should be always a way out. Although they must find the RIGHT KEY out of FOUR keys, which are SOMEWHERE on the map. Even finding a friggin hex totem is difficult sometimes! Well let’s hope the timer goes long enough.

And the last part is the one that bugs me the most. When the exit gates are open, and let’s say your timer goes still for 2 minutes and you’re hurt, it was a long and hard match after all. You already see yourself free and happy. Yay, 5000 points for escaping! This is so great! I still made it! Barely, but I did it! And you exit and die. Oh no wait, you don’t die. You’ll be sacificed. Because the Trap triggers automatically beyond the exit gates. So technicall goodbye exit points. Well earned or not.

...

“THAT’S JUST NOT HOW IT WOR-*cut*”

I’ll find that too much. We already have perks that shut out the survivors from their freedom in multiple ways and you can just snack them away if you can. But now you can totally forget the prior licensed Killer expanson. Because you got the new one. So better let those lil buggos escape, because they die either way, am I right? After this and Freddies nerf (which I ,wuaht??, didn’t find so terrible and unfair as everyone else but never mind) we can totally smack Gremlin Man in the trash. Just a few months after he was released. NICE. (sarcasm)

*sigh* Don’t worry guys. We’re almost through. You don’t have to stand this any longer.

Last thing. The secondary power. I read out. HMHRM

“Use the Secondary Power interaction to assume a crouching position. While crouching:

-The Pig (that’s the killers name btw) has no Terror Radius. -Activate the attack interaction to dash and perform an abush attack.” 

*puts down glasses*

No Terror radius. Wow, sounds familiar. Almost like the Wraith, and Michael Myers (1m TR aside), and Freddy. *gives a look*

This abilty must have a cooldown, or something that gives the killer a disadvantage. Cause you could just sneak upon everyone, and then later on get into the trap action. So maybe something like being slowed down like Myers. Something like that! And why does this killer need a secondary power, when their primary already seems... effective enough? Just... ehhh?? It’s so vague?

Let’s construct a match based on this info. Let’s say worst case. Mostly, one gen is already done when the killer finds a Survivor. The Killer sneaks up on them, downs them, puts a trap on them and baits them. I mean Borrowed Time won’t work here, am I right? Or they let them go, put more Traps on other Survivors during the match and, if the Killer can see the aura of the Jigsaw Boxes like with totems, just defends the Boxes. Something like that, who knows. That’s just worst case.

That being said. It’s very possible that it’s a hoax, that it’s not real or maybe even just a WIP. So far, from what I saw, the only thing people talk about is “There is a typo in this, so it MUST BE A HOAX”. Not about the vagueness or the fact that this seems really unbalanced. Plus we don’t even have release date. So I’ll just wait until the DLC is out. Maybe it’s gonna be totally different, maybe not. Maybe it’s even gonna be awesome and our fear unsubstantiated. I would be totally happy about that despite being sad about getting no original killer.

But what do you think about this? Do you think this is good. Do you think it’s balanced. Do you want it like that in the final DLC or would you be happier about an original killer with different abilities?

[dsudis]

What I’m Reading Wednesday, 10/4/2017

Two weeks in a row! Look at me go! I managed to function like a human being for like the entire day today, it was sort of amazing. So now I will continue my impressive accomplishments by making a blog post. Books: I'm five or six chapters into The Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian, and after the first three chapters I stopped and bought the next two books in the series on Amazon, so, yes, am enjoying! And juuust stuck a bookmark in Matt Ruff's Lovecraft Country to start reading next. (I usually have one ebook and one physical book on the go at a given time, and I'm trying to remember to read some of the unread books I actually own in between taking out all sorts of things from the library. We'll see how that goes when I'm using the quiet study room at the library five days a week to get writing and other work done.) Books finished: Hello Forever by Sarina Bowen, a loosely connected ~sequel~ to Goodbye Paradise. Both of these m/m romances where one or both heroes have faced severe homophobia were originally published under a different name, and have been republished this year as Sarina Bowen titles. AND THEY ARE GREAT. If you are into that kind of angst, which. I am. As it turns out. I loved the way this one handled Cax's resistance to being with a guy, giving him a situation that he feels trapped by for utterly legitimate reasons, and the way his resistance gives way piece by piece (and then, as they say, all at once). <3 The Proposal by Mary Balogh, the first book of the Survivors' Club series, in which it becomes clear that this series is actually a spinoff of at least two OTHER series so now I need a family tree with all of Mary Balogh's books clearly indicated on it to figure out what ELSE I want to read because these are delightful. (Notwithstanding the occasional startling anachronism, like a heroine comparing something from which nothing escapes to a black hole. In 1819 or so. BUT WHATEVER, RECOVERY LOVE STORIES FOR EVERYONE.) Fic: Today was another day featuring the blessing of a WIP update, this time from Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail which is of course The Best. The Olds!! <3______<3 (also the endnotes say there was a huge continuity error in this chapter but I'm reading at the same pace as chapters are posting so I have totally lost track of continuity anyway so it was just delightful.) Otherwise I have six tabs open, 155 things marked for later, and 34 marked to reread. Oh and now that I have a physical copy I am slowly making my way through Not Without You, which is staggeringly beautiful and A Delight. <3 <3 <3 Fic finished: (A sampling of stuff I’ve bookmarked recently–you can see all my bookmarks at http://archiveofourown.org/users/dsudis/bookmarks) I Do (please say you want me) by ceeainthereforthat (Bucky/Steve, E, 82k) - Bucky is a professional dominant, and Steve is the son of a vice president who grew up in the public eye; they meet running together in the same DC neighborhood, and just when they're starting to actually get involved, Bucky's professional life becomes front page news. Steve proceeds to Be Maximum Steve Rogers about it and refuses to cut off contact or throw Bucky under the bus--and for the sake of PR it's decided that Steve should play out a whirlwind romance with Bucky instead, getting married (with a pre-nup guaranteeing Bucky millions of dollars upon their scheduled divorce five years later). EXCEPT GUESS WHAT THEY FALL IN FABULOUSLY KINKY LOVE. Ughhh this was so great, and I adored the pace of reveals and the way they kept edging further and further into actual intimacy. <3 <3 <3 Just Spit It Out by PorcupineGirl (Bitty/Jack, G, 2k) - What happens when you live in a first-words soulmark universe and you hear your soulmate say the words on your wrist--and then realize that YOU now need to say the words HE'S been waiting for for his entire life. And you are, say, a deeply anxious Canadian hockey robot. IT MIGHT BE DIFFICULT. But hooray for fate (and Shitty). <3 All I Ever Wanted by sevenfists (Sid/Geno, E, 10k) - A really lovely story about two dudes finally being ready to be in love with each other. And doing some high altitude training during their bye week, because Sidney Crosby.

[so-caffeinated]

You are the first and only writer I have read for this fandom. I love your work so much, I've re read all your Arrow stories twice (even the Firefly one even though I've never watched it). Do you have any favorite Olicity fics to recommend to keep me from going crazy my first hiatus? (I binged the first 4 seasons last year)

This is awesome!! Thank you! I’m super honored. And do I have recs? Oh yes, I have recs. 

First rec isn’t actually a fic, it’s a resource… @theolicitylibrary. If you want recs, they’ve got ‘em. If you want a specific trope or rating or genre, they’ve got that, too. Have a hankering for a fic where Oliver and Felicity are business rivals? There’s a link for that. Where she’s the vigilante instead? There’s a link for that, too. Where one of them is a werewolf? Yup. They’re an amazing resource and you can lose days (and weeks and months) going through lists of alpha/omega tropes and rockstar AUs and friends-to-lovers fics. 

But more specifically… how about I rec some authors, too? I haven’t been reading much lately - I spend all my time writing - so I’m more comfortable reccing authors I know are amazing and whose works I’m looking forward to catching up on. They’re all consistently excellent. This is by no means an all inclusive list.

@dust2dust34 - My co-writer for FiCoN and personal fav (though I admit to no small amount of bias). If you want smut and you want details and mining a scene for feelings, Bre is your girl. She has plenty of oneshots to choose from as well as some multichapter fics.  

@machawicket - Look, I can’t overstate Danielle’s skills as a writer. My husband doesn’t even read my fic but he likes hers. Her writing is funny, sweet, sexy and heartbreaking in turn but it’ll never leave you unsatisfied. She’s a master. 

@anthfan - Nikki is one of those writers that’s so good she makes you forget you’re reading a story, because it’s just something you’re living. It’s an experience. Her characterization is spot-on and her plots are super engaging. She writes both one-shots and longer stories. They’re all worth your time.

@hannasus - Susannah’s writing is the perfect balance of detailed exposition and tight narrative that lets you feel like you’ve experienced the whole setting in just a few lines. Add to that fully in-character characterization and interesting plots that keep you reading and you really can’t go wrong. I recommend reading her Something Like Fate series ASAP as she’s adapted it into the basis for an original novel (which she’s publishing later this year) and it may not be up on AO3 a whole lot longer. 

@rosietwiggs - I can always tell Rosie’s work in just a few lines. Her narrative voice is so very distinctive and so gripping that it pulls me in effortlessly. I don’t believe she’s writing for Arrow anymore, but even her unfinished works are worth a read. I especially recommend The New Normal, Lengths and How The Mighty Fall In Love.

@supersillyanddorky06 - I’d be surprised if you hadn’t heard around about Matty’s writing because she’s right at the core of the Olicity fandom’s best known fanfics. With good reason. She’s prolific, plotty, smutty and evocative. If you have a weakness for Bratva!Oliver, I’d start here. 

@jsevick - I first met Jaimie after reading her Jurassic Park AU (really!) and being both delighted and amazed that she could make it work. I’m extremely lucky to have had her help as my beta pretty much ever since. If you like my writing, she’s a big part of it (along with @alizziebyanyothername). While she hasn’t posted in a while, her stories are just fun and if you like Gilmore Girls, her Arrow AU for Gilmore Girls is a treat!

@realityisoverrated-fic - I have no idea how you would feel about Smoaking Billionaires, Anon (I personally love it), but I’ve got to very highly recommend her Infinite Love series. At 110 parts and counting, it deals extensively with Oliver, Felicity and Tommy’s family longterm, including their kids. It’s alternately hot, sweet, and heartbreaking. But, most of all, it’s just well-written and interesting. If you’re willing to read them as a triad, I cannot recommend this strongly enough.

@geneeste - I would pay for more of Caught a Long Wind. Quite literally. But, that aside, Genie is a top notch writer. Whether her one-shots, WiPs or brilliant, ongoing epic co-written work with @machawicket, everything she writes should be devoured. 

@juliesioux - Julie uses the setting in a story as another character. There’s so much life to the world she puts her characters in that it practically breathes. Above that, she doesn’t shy away from hard topics. She will rush in head-first and dig deep to explore what her characters are going through. When you read her work, take her warnings seriously, but if you’re looking for a rich story to read that challenges you, she’s the perfect option to turn to.

@thatmasquedgirl - One of the most prolific Olicity fic authors (with 110 fics, including the absolute opus Technical Assistance). She’s consistently excellent, creative and she gives us as a fandom a whole lot to read. You can probably spent a huge chunk of hiatus happily buried in her work.

@entersomethingcleverhere - As a rule, I do not read first person stories. Not even when they’re published books sitting on shelves at my bookstore. I will break that rule for her writing. I like it that much. It’s heartfelt, moving, well-paced, and the connections between her characters are both real and evolving as you go. 

@arrow-through-my-writers-block - Shelby is… well, she’s just fun! She’s a solid writer who never disappoints. She’s got quite a few one-shots and a few ongoing multi-chapters. She’s probably best known for Starstruck, but all of her work is worth reading.  

@wagamiller - I just really love wagamiller’s work. Like a lot. There are very few authors I have on alert, but wagamiller is. Stories that make me laugh out loud are few and far between, but the 35B series surely did (as did @machawicket‘s Unbearable Hotness of Being, btw). Strong, sharp, witty writing that will leave you with a grin on your face.

@callistawolf - When I think of Callie’s work, I think of the fanfic version of sitting down with some hot cocoa and curling up with a warm blanket to watch a Hallmark Christmas special. She’s consistently excellent about finishing her work, which is lovely, and you can pretty much always count on a feel-good romantic ending. 

@hopedreamlovepray - Writing one-shots that stick with your reader is hard. Keeping a story to 1-2k and still being impactful is even harder. She absolutely manages it every time. Hope27 (as she’s known on AO3, so you can find her) has something like a hundred Olicity fics. These are, in my opinion, absolutely perfect if you want to lose yourself in a story on the train to work or during your lunch hour. 

@dettiot - Mel has a lot of great stories (like really great). My favorite is probably the “ink in my pen ran dry” series, but that’s a really tough call. Core Curriculum is super hot. The Felicity Stark series (crossover with Avengers-verse) is brilliant and fun and made me giddy while reading it. Beauty in the Breakdown is excellent. Jerry the EA series features one of the best takes on a relative OC I’ve read in fics. Love is Red made me squeal like a teenager with excitement (I’m not ashamed; it was warranted). And Two Men, Same Name (written with @melsanfo) is one of those that I am absolutely dying for the time to catch up on. While I’m at it, let’s rec Mel Sanfo, too. Her Masquerade is another novel-length fic absolutely worth a read. You really can’t go wrong with either of these ladies. 

@ash818 - Ash is freaking awesome. So, here’s the thing. Her Legacy series is mind-blowingly good. I have to admit, I’ve only read The Man Under The Hood in the series (this is intentional, for a reason you’ll see in a moment, but you need to read all of her work ASAP, okay? You do). This series… you’ve got future, married Olicity with teenage children as they continue their mission. There’s action, plot, heartbreak, angst, love, everything you could want. It’s in first person from their son’s perspective which is something I would probably never have clicked on in the first place had it not come highly recommended, but good lord is it amazing. All of her characters have life. All of them have depth. Her OCs are fully formed and vital to the story without overshadowing characters you already know. I haven’t read the later stories because after I decided to continue on with FiCoN verse, I didn’t want to inadvertently shade my views on Olicity’s growing family and continuing mission with anything she did in her series. If anything I do happens to run parallel to her work, I want to know beyond any doubt that it’s 100% coincidence. But her stories are something I’m absolutely itching to get to read… eventually. Her writing is excellent.  

@tinaday3w - I’m tempted to say “JUST READ IT” but that’s probably not enough… But really, just read it. No one does slow burn like Tina. Victorian era AU with pirate!Oliver? Yes, please. Hello. I’ll take two.

@emmilynestill - She’s just so good. And sooooo hot. I don’t know if you know this, Anon, but writing a good sex scene is hard. You don’t want your reader pulled out of the scene by wondering if a position is actually possible or when underwear came off (or if it did) or how gravity isn’t making them collapse. Like… smut is difficult. But it reads so effortlessly with Emmilyne’s writing. And, beyond that, she weaves it in beautifully with plot that keeps you wondering what’s next and emotion that builds and grows in an organic way. Orgasms and organic feelings. Honestly, what else could anyone really want?

@ruwithmeguys - Jess will gut you and leave you asking her to do it again. Indecent Proposal… just… read the warnings and be ready and read it with a lot of time on your hands and probably in chunks because ouch. But still… read it.

@academyofshipping - Sarah has this dry sense of humor that comes out in her fics that’s as clever as it is fun. Fluffy, funny, smart, cute and rich with feeling, Sarah’s writing is consistently strong. 

@someonesaidcake - Felice is fantastic for completed, multichapter AU fics. She has quite a few and I’m pretty sure every single one included smut at some point (if that’s your thing) as well as plot. 

And… I’ve spent like an hour and a half on this which was a lovely diversion for my day. I know I’m forgetting amazing people but I have to stop here. When in doubt, take the title of a fic you like, google that name in quotes along with “rec list” and find someone’s list where that story was included, then explore the others. Or, check the bookmarks on AO3 of an author you like, that’s a great place to mine for fics, too. And, again, I can’t rec @theolicitylibrary enough. That said… happy reading, Anon! We’ll get through this hiatus together… through fic and sheer force of will. ;-)

[cryamore]

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS AND DEVELOPMENT UPDATE ROUNDUP

We’ve gotten a number of questions from our Discord members in the past month and it’s time to share them with everyone along with our answers.

See what a handful of our backers have been asking Rob, Aivi, surasshu, and me after the jump.

Kishou asks the following questions:

Can you change Esmy's appearance? Like, with armor sprites?

Sadly, given how Cryamore’s sprites are designed, it’s too taxing to make armor sprites for Esmy as we’d have to make armor sprites for a lot of unique animations, idle, running, hit, ground cast, mid cast, high cast, Vanish animations, Boulder Dash animations, etc. and then multiply that with 3 or 5 directions each.

The most we can offer for visual customization are palette swaps.

Featured above are palettes for default, Braxton, Bliss, “Dewritos”, and Black & Blue

I just want to see Esmy in something revealing like a swimsuit

Rob can probably arrange that in another artwork. I could sprite Esmy in a swimsuit but I don’t think we have any scenarios written down that feature her in one.

Of course, we could always write one in...

I'm not sure if this is asked before but is there a love interest in mind for Esmy?

Esmy’s too focused on her work and studying cryamore to notice anyone that may have feelings for her.

Right?

There's no "right" or "wrong" way to clear the game right? Like, surely some spells solve puzzles but there will be proficiency in not just weapon choices but spells in fighting too?

We’ve done our best to make sure your offensive/defensive ability and weapon loadouts will always be viable so whether you like playing ranged weapons with hard hitting close combat abilities, using mobility enhancing abilities with melee weapons or whatever playstyle tickles your fancy, we’ve spent a lot of time ensuring we got everything balanced and fun enough so there won’t be an absolute god tier and worst tier loadout.

Phosphatide asks:

About story flow: with games now searching for the perfect balance between "linear progression" and "open world freedom" to avoid blatant in-game walls preventing the possibility of sequence-breaking exploration or aimless wandering with no sense of urgency... what was your goal for Cryamore?

Alan: Honestly, I personally wanted full-on freedom to go explore some of the hardest areas of the game and risk the chance of getting wrecked, but we had to corrall things a bit to ensure you stay within the story bounds. Rob being the lead on this has final say on direction.

Rob: I wanted to instill a sense of survival in the game and make sure that the abilities are a big focal point for both puzzles and combat so we were able to block off certain areas of the world the way Metroidvanias would; give you a hint at what might be ahead, but you're blocked by something that needs a new ability

Alan: There's still freedom to be had but you can only go so far before you either hit a roadblock which needs an ability or sometimes story progression (you need clearance to explore south of the island)

So yeah, the goal was to give some freedom but not too much and I'm hoping we managed to achieve it with the world design I've done and with enough usage of the puzzle solving abilities we've made.

Tomar asks:

Curiosity here. Do you guys do art asset sharing through your VC system, or do you use something simpler like dropbox/google drive?

We’ve mostly used Dropbox all throughout to share asset files.

Above are the four folders we have set for Cryamore. Backgrounds has Rob and me contributing to it, Illustrations has Rob, me, and JC and Juby’s contributions, Inspiration Music has Aivi and surasshu’s work (a lot of unheard of to the public music WIP files) and Sprite-Animations has my work.

Once something like music, animation or an environment asset is set, Rob or I transfer it to Unity, apply any settings necessary (import and display settings for 2DToolkit, audio settings for Master Audio, etc.) and then upload it to the SVN so the file and all its settings will exist for anyone on the team with a Unity key and access to the Cryamore SVN.

Do you use freecamp for like kanban/task management stuff?

When we had more people in our team, we used OpenOffice and then switched to Freedcamp to keep track of tasks and bugs. Now that it’s just Rob and me, and Aivi and surasshu on sound and music, we mostly just keep a personal to-do list.

Xaelon asks:

I have no idea if this is possible with how the game is built, but something you could add to promote replay after the base game is completed would be a "randomizer mode" that shuffles various things into different places.

We could probably apply that to enemy spawns and some cryam deposits but the environment layouts though aren't as flexible sadly as we don’t use tilesets and the collision bounds of the environments aren’t generated by object due to a lot of irregular organic shapes.

We definitely have considered implementing a NG+ option though, maybe with levels and certain abilities intact on the next play but with more mobs and other difficulty boosts. 

shadowreaper5 asks:

Do skills with timers (like the buff to breathe underwater) have a visual representation of the time left?

To a certain extent, yes. Esmy’s going to have a breath meter over her head while underwater without the Oxy Barrier ability.

We initially wanted to just have a blue fill over Esmy’s status portrait (which changes to her holding her breath) while underwater but so it’s easier to keep track of, she’ll have a meter above her head when she isn’t using Oxy Barrier underwater.

While we do have spells with durations, some of them won’t have a meter and rely on visual cues: a timed magma mine will blink when it's about to explode, time paradox clones should blink when they're about to fade, and shadow cloak should fade back to full visibility upon ending. As it is though, we will mention the duration of spells in their info box at the menu.

Tarquinn2049 asks:

Ok. This question is a bit on the other end amd might make me sound like a jerk due to timing. But does it support 4k? And if so is it by pixel doubling? I can totally play it at 1080p if hardware scaling will ultimately look better.

Our native resolution is 720p which we’ll be upscaling to 1080p. We won’t be able to provide 4K support as working primarily in 2D where our target resolution is 720p would require us to rework the assets in a larger size so as not to lose crispness of lines and pixels on a larger resolution.

Rob:  The game looks freaking good on a 50-70 inch, though haha! I for one can't wait to playtest a lot on console (devkit).

DEVELOPMENT UPDATES

Unity editor-wise, Rob has been working on optimizing the code further. The sorting order of the game was archaic and clunky, so Rob decided to squish it down to a simpler and more effective form that relies on Sorting Order that Unity didn’t have early on during our development. We instead relied on Z index which required a lot of fiddling around with when setting objects up.

You can see in that test room video that the “Order in Layer” is changing value. Back then it would be the Z in the Position attributes and we’d have to manually set the value beforehand to make sure things appeared behind or in front of objects right.

Rob also implemented full analog movement instead of just the D-pad, this allows for more control, though it’ll need a bit of tweaking as it currently looks like Esmy’s skating along the ground like she’s about to break it down and provide everyone with boosted shields.

There’s been polish going on in multiple fronts on the graphical end as animations and environment assets get fixed.

Above is the fist weapons, we initially were going to go with brass knuckles but decided that it wouldn’t be that noticeable on the sprite unless we made it large but I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t miss the weapons so I designed these gauntlets that shows a bit of the transition from steamtech to cryamtech and also offers a more interesting silhouette while also making a bit more sense as a viable weapon against dangerous monsters.

The fists primary function work as a mashable combo. One press of the attack button does a jab, two presses in quick succession performs a jab and punch, three does a jab, punch, uppercut combo. It’s quick but it doesn’t have that much range or width in its melee attack range.

The second function is the parry which allows you to negate any damage if timed right. Rob’s in charge of securing the timing for all these as he’s the one in Unity and more well-versed with the parrying system this was inspired from (Street Fighter 3) so I trust he’ll make sure it’s balanced. We wanted to make the fists fun to use but even better if you master it and hopefully it’ll show.

The crossbow also underwent an animation rework during its polish phase. The old animation was too focused on being realistic that it didn’t look interesting (i.e. it looked too slow) and the crossbow already has it tough in being interesting when up against the pistols. So far everyone feels it looks much snappier now while still keeping to the timing of the old animation.

What differentiates the crossbow from the pistol is that Esmy can hold her shot and slowly strafe while doing so, only firing when you let go of the attack button. The crossbow also has different types of bolt quivers that you can equip. Currently we’re playing around with piercing properties and stagger/slowing/knockback properties.

We’re also looking into displaying the ammo/bolt count below Esmy everytime she fires so the player can easily keep track of their shots (we’ve been running on infinite ammo all this time just to get a feel of the weapon first before applying a limit). 

The rapier’s animations will still need the pixel pass but its roughs are ready.

You’ll notice two phases in the rapier animation. The basic thrust and the secondary backdash. These are the primary and secondary functions of the weapon. One allows you to dash forward with a piercing strike and another for quick evasion, making the rapier a weapon all about mobility (which could be handy for speedrunning too).

The Ghilcrest buildings are undergoing their design polish as well. You’ve all seen the Cryatisium and Esmy’s Home and now the Inventorium and the Cafe are joining them in polished goodness.

The overworld environments have also been undergoing its rework. More unique object assets have been made and its design is now following the Overworld map that I completed.

Worry not about the above image. Though we do have Brax (and some other characters) following you at some points in the game, it’s not a dangerous escort mission where you’ll have to struggle to keep your companion alive, the Berribuns were added on the map just for this screenshot (they ignore Brax and only go for Esmy).

I’ve tried to incorporate hints of the past steamtech throughout areas of Noka Island that the settlers covered, some machines like the one on the screenshot above were retrofitted to use cryam instead of steam (I did receive comments on how the smoke blobs look more like rocks so I’ll probably change it to wispy smoke).

The HUD has also undergone a visual polish to make it look more bronze plated to go with the early post steampunk-ish feel.

I’ll be continuously working on more animations and environment asset polish all throughout while Rob cleans up code, works on other background assets or lays said assets out in the Unity editor.

ART SPOTLIGHT

Every now and then, Rob (and sometimes I) take a breather and make some art (which will all eventually end up in the artbook) so here’s some of the choice pieces as of late.

Rob made something that could be wallpaper material once he cleans it up in a higher res, it’s an array of Bliss in a custom outfit.

Another wallpaper-ish piece from Rob with Deseret, Bliss, and Sorbet looking all tough and showing what I’ll just assume to be Ghilcrest gang signs... despite it being a small community.

Here's a more realistic pin-up style Bliss that Rob also made.

Rob also pays tribute to Atlus’ Persona and Shin Megami Tensei series by rendering Esmy in Shigenori Soejima’s style.

I did the same and tried making a Shigenori Soejima tribute using his soft paint style commonly present in Stella Deus and some Persona art. I chose to represent Team Bliss.

COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT 

We’ve also got a few new submissions of fanart from the community that we’re proud to share with everyone. We’re grateful to have all your support and enjoy seeing everyone’s renditions of the Cryamore cast.

@Cliffist pays tribute to the fab queen, Bliss because clearly, she’s supposed to be the star.

@boss_ruru also decides to rep Team Bliss with this lovely piece of Ms. Barson in one of her many alternate outfits.

But it’s not all Bliss as MellowMarz aka @HeartlessHat provides a pistol toting pixel-art Esmy.

I’ll be working on the pixel art and animation featurette next. I had to hold it off since I needed to prep this first.

It should give an idea of what the update will cover.

I hope you enjoyed this update and all the news! Thanks for taking time to read through these.

- CM Alan

P.S. I also managed to secure one of the previous builds we made and will be preparing a guide to go with it for the backers on Discord.

[bryony-rebb]

so uh, speaking of Quatre... [fic] The Soul of Outer Space is Dead

The chat about Q earlier in the week made me think of this old, half-baked wee fic of mine. I guess it’s the wrong day of the week to be posting it - Wednesdays are supposed to be reserved for WIPs? - but oh well. Maybe one of y’all will like it, anyway. Or maybe not, going by its reception to date haha! It’s a little bit angsty, I guess? And I don’t usually do anything quite so stylistic, but I was a bit drunk at the time and I’d been reading a lot of Chuck Mee (http://www.charlesmee.org) and I guess it rubbed off a bit. Trying for the rhythm of a heart beat or something? I don’t know. It’s another fic based on a dream - I seem to have a lot of those! In that version of events Quatre showed up at Duo’s door in great distress over the loss of his space heart, while Duo was... not very sympathetic, frankly, having no idea what Quatre was on about. I think this probably works slightly better. Anyway, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

Quatre Winner woke up dead one morning, only it was afternoon and technically speaking he was still alive.

But they had cut it out of him.

They'd sawed through his skull and they'd drilled into his brain and they'd spooned it out of him, scraped him clean. And then he woke up dead. Or not-dead. The body was alive, but the soul, the soul, the soul, the soul, the soul was gone. They hadn't told him he would be this way. They'd told him he'd be better. But instead he was just not-dead. And that, he knew without a doubt, was infinitely worse than the way he'd been before.

Rashid was in the room with him. He only just saw this now. He sat squeezed into a tiny chair at the foot of Quatre's bed. He looked different. No he didn't. Quatre just didn't know how to interpret what he saw. He realized he had never had to learn. Quatre stared at Rashid, stared without blinking, trying to see what he should be able to know. But he couldn't. It was useless, useless, useless, useless, useless.

Rashid looked at him, raised himself half out of his seat. "Master Quatre," he said. His voice was a deep rumble.

What did it mean? WHAT DID IT MEAN?

Rashid walked quickly to the door and shouted loudly for a nurse, then stood by the door staring at Quatre until someone arrived. "Something is wrong with him," he said to the woman who appeared.

Something is wrong with me, Quatre repeated to himself. Something is wrong with me.

The woman looked at the machines next to his bed and then at him. "Mr Winner," she said to him. She spoke slowly. Quatre stared hard at her mouth as each word came out, watching the movements of her tongue and teeth and the shiny string of saliva between her lips. If he just looked hard enough he might be able to crawl into her heart. "Can you understand what I'm saying to you?"

"Yes." Quatre listened to his own voice. Did it sound strange? He couldn't tell, couldn't tell, couldn't tell.

"That's good," the woman said. She showed him her teeth. Quatre felt… Quatre felt… "Do you know where you are?"

"Yes. Winner Memorial Hospital."

"That's right. Do you know why you're here?"

"You removed a tumor that was exerting pressure on the temporal lobe of my brain."

"Correct again. Can you tell me what this is, please?"

"A pen."

"And what year it is?"

"AC 200."

"And the name of that man over there?"

"Rashid."

"Excellent. And how do you feel?"

"You killed it. I'm alone," he told her, and began to cry.

The woman straightened very quickly and turned her face back to Rashid. "I'll bring the doctor in," she said. "He's probably still woozy from the anesthesia. Give him time to adjust."

Rashid moved back towards the bed. "Master Quatre," he said, "can't you tell me what's the matter?"

"It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone." Quatre squeezed his eyes shut, but that made it even worse.

"What is it that's gone, Master Quatre?"

"The soul of outer space," he moaned.

"The soul of outer space," repeated Rashid. "You've used that term before." He went out into the hall, and Quatre was the most alone he'd ever been. He touched the bandages wrapped around his head and tried not to panic at the numb, numb, numb, numb, numbness inside of him. He was Quatre Winner now, he was truly Quatre Winner and nobody else, and surely he should make an effort to get to know himself even if he did make a bad first impression. But all he could feel inside was a weak, lonely little person, and he didn't like himself at all.

*

When they told him he was ready, the doctors wheeled him into a windowless room and projected photographs of people's faces onto the wall. They asked him what the people in the pictures were feeling. Quatre couldn't tell them, didn't know, didn't know, know, know, know, know. When he failed their tests the doctors told him they were all bewildered. Quatre looked hard at their faces, but he didn't see it there, either.

He didn't used to have this problem. He told them that, and they told him the same thing. He Didn't Used To Have This Problem. He Should Be Just Fine. He Is Not Fine, He Is Not, He Is Not, He Is Not, Not, Not, Not, Not.

He is cut off from the world. They are speaking to him, and he can hear the words but he cannot understand them like he used to. He knows what they are saying, but not what they are not, not what they mean the most.

And there is loneliness. Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely. It eats at the gaping hole in his chest, digging it wider and deeper all the time. There are people with him all the time, Rashid is with him all the time, but he is alone, alone, alone, alone, alone.

Rashid speaks with him about the soul of outer space. Rashid speaks with the doctors about the soul of outer space. The doctors do not mention it to him. The doctors speak only of Social-Emotional Agnosia, of his tumor, of his surgery. They say they still hope he will make a full recovery.

But Quatre knows the truth. It is the last truth he will ever know. He knows that the Soul of Outer Space is gone forever, and he will never be the same again, never, never, never, never, never.

Quatre tries to listen to what the doctors tell him. They show him more photographs of people's faces. They point to the people's eyes and mouths and tell him that when the mouth is shaped like this, it means that they are happysadangryscared. They show him more pictures and ask him what their mouths are shaped like. He is able to parrot back their answers to them but he still doesn't know like he did before. The doctors say that he is learning and do not listen when he disagrees.

"Master Quatre," Rashid says to him. Time has passed. He is not sure how much. Enough that his panic at finding himself dead has dulled. Not enough that he can care about something so meaningless as the squares of a calendar or the ticking of a clock. He does care about Rashid's voice. Quatre listens when people speak to him now more intently than he ever did before. He has to. He hangs on every word and tries to feel them like he used to. He cannot, but he cannot help but try.

"Master Quatre," Rashid says again, "I hope you'll forgive me for being blunt, but I have to speak my mind. I cannot pretend I understand what you've just lost, this soul of outer space. But I see the struggle it is for you, learning to exist without it, and it pains me, too, that I cannot ease your burden. I want to remind you, however, that the experience you are adjusting to is common to all of humanity. I know you don't look down on the rest of us for experiencing the world the way we do, but if you go on feeling sorry for yourself it might begin to appear that you do."

Rashid's words jar him. There is something familiar here. "Was I?" he asks. He sits up straighter.

"It will take you time. That's natural. It's harder to learn in adulthood the skills others have developed since childhood. But I know you're not one to give up because a thing is difficult. You have too much pride in yourself. Don't you?"

Quatre squeezes his eyes shut, feeling the isolation of his own head, bearing it. "This is what it's like," he says, "for everyone."

When he opens his eyes, Rashid is still there, looking at him.

Quatre feels sorry for the world. How lonely every person's existence is. No wonder the hearts of men always held such fear. No wonder war always bubbled so near the surface of humanity's actions. It's only now that he experiences this too that he can fully understand. Everything else but this realization is just a seed of what he used to know. But this new insight, it is blossoming. Despite the fact that he is now separate and alone, it is blossoming. The realization makes him feel stronger.

Quatre will never be whole again. He is as healed as he can be.

[nera-solani]

What I’m working on…

So, as the wonderful @winchester-reload​ tagged me to tell about my current WIP secrets, I am doing the thing now. My secret is, I have far too many. Seeing as I am a person who has a lot of ideas all at once, I am currently overflowing. Some of them are only one page yet, while others are almost a book of their own. Most of them are actually original works and only one of them is a fan fiction, which is posted on AO3. I will just give you a little excerpt of my many WIPs, but won’t post any excerpts of the ones that are in german. That’ll be easier.

Rules Do Dis: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

What I’m working on:

About humans, angels and everything in between: This is my only fan fiction I’m currently working on. You can find it on my AO3. It is Dean/Castiel and I am planning to write an explicit chapter at some point. Maybe I’ll exclude it from the main plot and post it in a series instead, but I don’t know yet. The current chapter turned into a nightmare for me, cause it got a lot longer than intended, but I think i’m finally reaching the end of it.

Current Unpublished Chapter (3): “I don’t like ghost stories”

“I think I found something.”, Sam suddenly stated. “What? On Amara? Or Cas?”, Dean asked. “On me?”, Tara added. “No, a case.”, Sam said, “So get this, in the Potwin place area of Topeka, Kansas, was a man found dead in a house inside a locked room, two days ago. But the best part is, his heart was completely frozen.” “So what could that be? A spirit?”, Tara asked curiously. “Possibly, but here’s the thing, this particular house is already known for being haunted. Or at least it was about 43 years ago.”, Sam explained, “The first events had occurred in 1972, when the owners, General J. E. Gardner and his wife Dorothy, were remodeling the house. They reported about hearing loud banging sounds coming from an unoccupied guest room for over a year, always precisely at 10:15 am. Next, they heard loud heavy breathing at night, as some invisible presence sat on the edge of their beds. One night something even tried to pull Dorothy’s legs off the bed and objects started moving by themselves, and also went missing and then randomly reappeared without explanation. Once, while hanging new wallpaper in the west bedroom, Dorothy heard a man’s voice say, “You’re doing a nice job.”, while nobody was around.”, he paused, “But it seems like the house somehow lost its haunting in 1973, because I couldn’t find any subsequent reports.” “So… the spirit just disappeared and is back now?”, Dean asked doubtingly. “Yeah, maybe… I don’t know. As far as I see, the spirit has never been violent before, so maybe it’s something else, but I think we should take a look at it.”, Sam offered. Dean sighed, “Alright, you said Topeka? That’s not so far from here. Get your stuff, we’re leaving in fifteen minutes.” The brothers stood up and walked out of the room. Tara was still sitting on the couch. Suddenly Dean walked back in, “I said, get your stuff, we won’t be waiting for you.” “What?”, she asked confused. “You’re comin’ with us.”, Dean declared. Tara’s expression lit up “Really?” “I think you’re ready. Now get your stuff or we’ll leave without you.”

Infinite Me – Timetravel and other impossibilities (unpublished): This is one of my original works. I initially started writing it in german, but as it only had one page yet, it took me less than an hour to translate it. It’s the story of a lonely time traveler, who tries to make her way through eternity, seeing as for (in the beginning) unknown reason, she cannot die.

Time is relative. But what does that even mean? The scientists of earth profess, one cannot travel back in time. Just forward. It’s linear, they say. Like a river. And one also can’t make a river flow backwards. That’s true. But what those scientists don’t know, is that time is much more similar to a river than they think. In fact, a river is the best example I can think of at all. Let me explain it… Just imagine, you’re sitting in a canoe, floating down a river. The river you’re on, is time. The canoe, your own timeline. As long as you don’t do anything and just drift, time progresses normally for you. But if you start to paddle, you move faster forward than your surroundings. You travel forward in time. That is possible for example, when one circles in a spaceship closely around a black hole. So far, so good. Scientists know about that. Now let’s assume, you want to a spot upstream. Paddling back isn’t possible, the current is far too strong. It wouldn’t even be possible with an engine attached to you canoe. Still clear.  But how are you gonna get back there then? Your scientists say, it’s not possible. I say, they don’t think far enough. Traveling back in time is possible. Back to our river. You can’t paddle back. But you can paddle to the bank, get out of the canoe and walk upstream. There, you set it back into the water, get inside and the journey can continue. It’s simple as that. Admittedly, the execution isn’t at all that easy, but in a few hundred thousand years you’ll understand it to a certain degree.

Casebook of a Psychopath (unpublished): This is a crime story, that follows and is told by a psychopath who struggles to be normal, while helping the police with their cases and a neuroscientist/psychiatrist who wants to study her, because she actually manages to live with her “defect”. There is not much of it existing yet, I’m still working on the first chapter.

Chapter I’m working on (1): “The Science of Introduction”

“I’m coming!”, I called out and walked to the apartment door. As I took a peek through the spyhole, I spottet two policemen waiting there. One of them I knew, the other one I was completely unfamiliar with. A young man, probably not long on duty yet. I could imagine why they were here. When I opened the door, the younger one already held out his badge and said, “NYPD, I’m Detective Louis, this is Detective Cruz. Sorry, for the disturbance, but are you Natalie Fox?” Cruz, who was standing behind the young man, smiled and winked at me. “That I am, how can I help you, Detective?”, I replied, knowing what was to come. “You have to come to the precinct, Miss.”, the new one said. Not again… I pulled myself together, to keep from rolling my eyes. “Of course, why is that?”, I asked, to keep up the appearance that I had no idea. “You’ll find out, as soon as we’re there.”, he said. Sure, what else… I walked with them into the vestibule, locked my apartment door, took my coat off the peg and followed them outside to their car. The trip took only a short time. The presidium wasn’t far. Actually, we could’ve walked, but whatever… When we arrived, the new one led me through the big office room with the many work desks of all the detectives and directly to an interrogation room. He seemed really proud to have “caught” me. As we walked past the Captain’s bureau, I could see, that he struggled to suppress a grin. I had to smile. That looked like him. After we had arrived at interrogation room 1, the new one told me to sit down, so I did. I put my hands on the table and linked my fingers together. “How long is this going to take? I have an appointment with a client”, I took a look at the clock, “in a bit more than half an hour.” “It’ll take as long as long as it’ll take.”, he answered. How cute, he wanted to look cool and impress his colleges.

Black winged Angel (unpublished): So, with 73 pages, this is by far my longest WIP. It is in german, so there will be no excerpt. It is basically about a young woman who is bored of her life, until she finds herself in danger, and gets rescued by a mysterious man who turns out to be an actual angel. Together they cross the country in an attempt to find the mysterious black winged angel, who is according to a prophecy supposed to defeat the devil once and for all.

About Gods and Ravens (unpublished): Okay, so this could possibly be described as a weird Avengers/X-Men mashup and is based loosely off a really strange dream I had some time ago. It is also in german, but I’m thinking about translating it at some point. I’m not sure how, but I managed to tell the complete life story of the main character from her birth to her thirties in 4 pages without giving too much away. If we look at it as an Avengers/X-Men mashup, the story would be set a few years after New York. A short summary:

The world has come to peace again and there is an organization for extraterrestrial matters that recruits mutants (some of them have helped fighting off the first invasion). Amalia is something special. She fits into three of the mutant-categories and is far more powerful than any of them. But she is also seemingly broken. Life never meant well with her and she doesn’t let anyone near herself. That is, until she meets another soul, who is probably even more broken than herself. Loki. Yes, Loki. The one who lead the first invasion on earth and is now suspected to stand behind the recent attacks. But he keeps claiming to be innocent. Amalia believes him. Together they have to race against the clock and through the galaxy to find out who really is responsible for those attacks. And then there is also Amalias new friend Athena…

With a writers imagination (working title, unpublished): This is a little meta, because it is told by a writer, who has written books before, and now found out that in another universe, her books are reality. One of her main characters shows up on her doorstep and tells her about that and asks her for help, cause apparently the villain she wrote, got out of control. This actually only consists of the idea, a beginning and an ending (yes I already have the ending). But I like the idea very much, so I’ll just give you what I already have of the beginning.

I’ve just arrived back home. I hung up my coat, sat down at the kitchen table and opened my laptop to start writing. My jeans are ripped, my shirt singed. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what day it is… I’m writing this book for my loyal readers – my longtime fans if you will – and for my old friends. So, in fact for everyone, who might worry about me. A few weeks ago, I disappeared completely out of the blue. I can imagine that my disappearance might have caused some turmoil, so I decided to write down the recent events. First of all, I want you to know that I’m alright. Admittedly, I’ve seen better days, but I am okay. Due to the recent events following in quick succession, I’m not sure where to start… I think it would be best to start by telling something about myself. My name is Tessa Grays, which many of my readers should already be familiar with.

A love to die kill for (unpublished): Well, this is not really a WIP, because I haven’t written anything down yet. My writing process works the way, that I only start working when I have the basic story already in my mind. I already know how this is supposed to end, but I have literally no idea how to start. So, for me, it is a WIP, cause my mind is still working on fleshing out the plot. It could in the end probably be read as a Destiel serial killer AU, I guess? Maybe? I don’t really know, but it is based off a prompt for such. So, everything I’ve got about this is in my brain. Except the cover I drew a few weeks ago. I’ll just leave that here for you…

Tagging: @tanjasteatime​ @anyrei​ @mishasfault​ and anyone else who wants to do the thing!