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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #299

“you look so beautiful tonight / reminds me how you laid us down and gently smiled before you destroyed my life.”

Ever done any drugs? Besides alcohol, no. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. What’s your favorite show to binge? I could only ever willingly *binge* Meerkat Manor and not get bored after like, two episodes. Do you watch porn? No, it's never appealed to me. What’s one of your fantasies? Being financially stable. :^) Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? I've lightly considered getting one, but I really doubt I ever will. What’s the most overrated movie? /shrug. Let people like what they like. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. I'd love to get to know my Facebook acquaintance Courtlynn better; I've wanted to for a long time. I think we could be fantastic friends. We'll like each other's stuff regularly and occasionally leave comments, but we don't really talk. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Paper ones, by a long shot. I just really like the feeling of a book and being able to clearly see how far in you are. I enjoy the smell and sound of turning pages. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Probably Wonderland, realistically. I would say Azeroth, but too much world-threatening shit goes on every day lol. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? G O T H Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yep. Do you drink? Very, very rarely. Almost exclusively during celebrations or on the once in a blue moon occasion we go to a sit-down restaurant. Do you read erotica? No. It would make me super uncomfortable. What color was the last candle you lit? I don't remember at all. Do you own a treadmill? No, but I want one. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? Well, not exactly me. Mom and Nicole both had memberships to Planet Fitness, and I was able to come as a guest. It was just cheaper that way. What color was the last fish you had? That I owned or ate? Either way, idr. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? No. If you play The Sims, do you download custom clothes, hair, etc? I don't play it. Does your animal sleep with you? Roman does, yes. He legitimately spoons with me lmao. Sometimes he'll move to the bottom of the bed, other times he'll sleep through most of the night there. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? Yes. What is your favorite song to play on Guitar Hero or Rock Band? "Hotel California" by The Eagles on expert is so much fun and just feels good. The ending solo is just great. When you drink chocolate milk do you just buy the jug of it or the syrup that you can put into the milk? Almost always just the chocolate syrup. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. What’s the worst abuse you have done to your phone? I know I've thrown it across the room once. Well, not my current phone, but a really old one. How did you meet your first love? High school. Well, you could maybe say Facebook. He sent me a friend request and I literally only accepted it because I thought it was another Jason. We talked via messenger some and then we ran into each other at school, and tbh I kinda knew I was fucked from there lmao. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever kissed in a pool? Yeah. Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? I absolutely cannot write in front of others, and I HATE drawing when people are watching. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? Odds are I'll probably be scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something in WoW that sounds even remotely fun, or I'll browse Facebook. How did you find out about your current favorite band? He's one of my mom's favorite singers/bands, so I grew up with some of his music, and when I was getting into rock and metal, I decided to go through her music case and listen to some of it. Ozzy's Black Rain album set the adoration into motion. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? The Internet or Wal-Mart, depending on what kind of clothes I need. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? I should have an answer for this very quickly... yet I'm unsure. I don't think anything *major* has happened in a while. Oh, this is a tiny thing, but I did look really hard for the pencil sharpener so my niece could finish coloring her drawing, but I couldn't find the damn thing for anything. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? Lots and lots of failure. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? Uhhh outgoing, ig. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? Considering I hide a lot about myself to try and be accepted, yes. When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? Literally yesterday to my mom about this unreasonably massive fear I've had lately that she doesn't have much longer in her. I'm terrified she's going to get COVID or her cancer just comes back faster than we hope. To whom do you feel the most important? My mom. Is there something you want but might not ever have? Many things. What’s something you’re working to obtain? Mental stability. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? No, considering they're usually violent and rarely just psychotic nightmares. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? Hm. What in life serves to keep you going? The hope it'll get better, and I'll reach a point of actually being happy and content with my life. What was the last good news you received? Nicole's trip to Maryland to bring back a baby was successful (if that sounds weird, she's a child social worker). He has a heart condition where if his heartbeat or something like that was irregular, she'd have driven all the way up there for nothing; the baby wouldn't have been able to take the ride. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? Sweet. Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? I mean I'd like to be in one, but I highly doubt it'd be successful, just given where I am in life. I'd be signing up for heartbreak. Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? I don't know. Probably Mom for something minor, like just bumping into me or something. Are you wearing a necklace, and if so, who got it for you? No. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately? Lately? Uh. I don't know, but I can guarantee to you it wasn't long ago at all, considering breathing embarrasses me, pretty much. Do you ‘think out loud’? Sometimes. Do you take gummy vitamins? No. How do you know the majority of the people you know? Former schools. Hell, or maybe various online locations. I just might have more online friends and acquaintances than in-person. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I've talked about my pebble from my partial hospitalization program enough. Can you play electric guitar? I used to be able to play a little bit; I took guitar lessons for a short while in high school. Best I could do was the intro to "Crazy Train," but I'd still occasionally mess up. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences? Yes. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yeah. Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? Yes, usually songs that are also angry. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? The only case this has ever happened was with Jason and his gf after me. There are no words to describe the fucking hatred I felt. I haven't seen pictures of him with an s/o in a long time, and I absolutely never plan on seeking them out ever again. What song are you listening to right now? "Rest In Pieces" by Saliva. If you’re not in college, why? I couldn't handle the stress anymore. Just couldn't. Do you own a studded belt from Hot Topic? I have a good number of old ones from high school, actually. I wore them all the time. I could never fit into them now. Favorite fictional character? Um, Darkiplier, duh. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? I think it's finally set in stone that I'm getting my tattoo redone soon. Thanks to my laptop saying "ha fuck you," it's not as soon as I originally planned since I had to pay to fix it, but Mom seems fine with helping me pay for my birthday. Not a guarantee that it'll happen on that date of course, given scheduling, but yeah. It should fucking finally be happening. How many stairs can you climb before you wanna pass out? This is too embarrassing to even answer lmao. Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't. I feel like I'd personally need the "wow this is a part of me (and/or my s/o)" connection. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never go hunting, and the only occasion in which I'd fish again is if Dad asked me. I don't like the idea of fishing for fun anymore, but that's like... always been our bonding experience, and I wouldn't tell him no. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Knew. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Who are your godparents? I don't think I have any. Do you have any friends who are famous? I have two friends who are parts of bands, but idk how successful they are. I don't think either are like, huge. Nova Mortis if you're into heavy metal and I think Toukan does rap? When was the last time you stayed at a hotel? Hm. I have no idea. What side of a heart do you draw first? Uhhhh I think the left? What is your mom saved as in your phone? "Mama Bear." Do you want your tongue pierced? I had snake eyes for a while, but I took them out because I kept chipping my teeth. I miss that piercing, it was so cute, but it wasn't worth ruining my teeth. Ever made out in a pool? It's possible very briefly, idr. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? SHORT. SHORT. SHORT. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not really. Would you get back with your last ex if you could? Yeah. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Yes. What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate is way too sweet. Did anyone see your last kiss? It was at an airport, so probably. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean, I do, but I don't really know how smart it would be right now. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? A few. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Girt. Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Hell naw man, I looked up to them lmao. What size is your mattress? (single,twin,double,queen,king) Queen. Do you like spaghetti? Hell yeah. It was my favorite food as a kid. What about lasagna? No; I don't like the cheese at all. Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Mosquitoes of course, as well as a bee once. Maybe other things, idk. Have you ever worn contacts? (even just to try them out) Yes, but I changed to glasses because I had too much trouble putting them in and taking them out. Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? No. Have you ever been screened for STDs? No. Did you have your tonsils taken out? No. Did you have your appendix taken out? No. Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? What is a "collector's" glass or mug? Were you your parents’ first born? No; I'm the middle child. Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No. Were you born perfectly healthy or with some (or a lot) of health issues? I was born healthy. Good 'ole days. Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? Ohhhh yes, my neighbor and I loved doing that. My favorite was catching fireflies with my sisters, though. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend. I'd get lonely. Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? A whole lot, sadly... I'm despising that disease more and more every day that goes by. I know far too many people who have it or have died at its hands. Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No. Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? N/A. Do not stay in a relationship where fighting is common. Would you ever share a site password with a family member or partner? I mean sure, depending on the site and person, and the reason they (may) need it. Has anyone ever told you they couldn't trust you? Hm... I actually don't think so? Who in your family has the prettiest eyes? Idk, I don't see enough of my extended family to know. What is an odd food item you would like to try, or have tried? I'm sure there's something I'd like to try, but nothing I think about with consistency, really... Most "odd" food I find unappealing anyway. When/if you drive, do you go the speedlimit? When I did, I certainly always tried to, but I was bad at maintaining a stable speed. I went up and down too much. Are you an aggressive driver? Or more passive-aggressive? I was dangerously passive at driving. Describe a hairstyle you had as a little kid? Well, I had long hair with bangs. What routine of yours would you most hate to break? Probably stopping getting a soda first thing in the morning... That is like so deeply ingrained into my day and is a motivator to get up in the first place. I want to change this to where I'm not allowed to grab one until I've had a full cup of water, but yeah, that hasn't happened yet. Has jealousy ever ruined one of your friendships/relationships? Honestly? I think it's possible that Jason totally split on me because of it. We were in this very unstable "friends" position after the breakup and hung out very briefly and awkwardly twice (which I'm pretty sure he didn't want), and I think one of our last attempts at conversation was who a girl he was talking to via Messenger was. No, before any assumptions are made, I didn't snoop. He showed me something on his phone and I just inevitably saw the little Facebook chat icon of a girl I didn't recognize. I don't even remember his answer. I just know it wasn't too long later I was blocked and everything. What is one restaurant you would NOT recommend? I personally am not a Chili's fan. What was your last conversation about? Mom and I were just talking about what a mush the cat is, haha. Who is your favorite person to debate or discuss with? Yo fuck debates, I got mad anxiety over that kind of stuff. Are you more likely to praise or insult yourself? Why? Insult. I don't even believe myself when I try praising, so it's not worth the effort. I have a billion and two reasons. Do you enjoy cloudy days? Why or why not? Honestly, not very much anymore. I've found that it actually does affect my mood. I like some cloud coverage, though. Would it bother you to be forgotten after death? Yes, even though when you think about it, most of us will be. I want to do stomething so badly; not even particularly something major, but just contribute to things and causes that matter and slowly change the world for the better. It's especially likely I will be forgotten though at some point because I don't want kids, so my blood isn't carrying on. Do you tend to prefer healthy or unhealthy snacks? Ugh, unhealthy. Has anyone ever asked you for diet advice? I think so, back when I started recovery and lost like 60 lbs fast as fuck. I wasn't even dieting though, just... came off awful meds. What age is your youngest aunt? Ummmm I have no clue. Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun, but I'm not good at it. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? Totally. Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet. How're your dancing skills? Rusted to the point of just not functional anymore lmao. What brand of batteries do you usually get? I don't pay attention to the kind Mom gets. Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A lot of my FB friends have kids. At least two are pregnant, but I only consider myself remotely close to one. I'm beyond worried about how she's going to be as a mom. Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I've certainly seen some questionable placement in busy areas, but none that are super odd. Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I don't care nowadays; I just stay up until I'm tired like every other night.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''rest in pieces'' by saliva

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drink-n-watch · 5 years ago

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Halloween is just around the corner and although this episode of My Hero Academia may have seemed fairly cheerful on the surface, there is a darkness brewing that is slowly starting to weigh everything down…

I just hopped right into it there. Whew, must be getting excited. Sorry about that. I had another good but unreasonable busy week. How is it going on your end Crow?

“Unreasonably busy” is a really good way to put it. Glad we got through it! But I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned a brewing darkness. That last shot… But, we don’t want to get too far ahead! Oh, I’m bold, and yeah, we’ll have spolilers.

So this week, Deku had to secure his working studies program at the Nighteye agency and as we already know, he did not make the greatest first impression.

Turns out Nighteye is a devoted All-Might fanboy just like Deku though, so they bonded over their shared love of the old no. 1 hero and Deku got a second chance to prove himself in the form of a simple task. All he needed to do was to somehow get Nighteye’s seal from him and his spot would be secure. It’s a pretty meaningless contest all things considered. What do you think Crow?

Let’s talk about how it played out first, but I’ll say this: I was seriously annoyed with Nighteye through this whole sequence. Especially with how it ended! For someone who has such a high opinion of All Might, Nighteye had no qualms about substituting his judgements for the previous number 1 hero. Plus, as we saw with how he treated Bubble Girl, the whole idea of respect just doesn’t seem to occur to Nighteye…

Things went as you would expect. Deku failed, but in the most extra and dedicated way possible and got the internship anyways. Nighteye even admitted that he was always going to give it to him as he had decided as soon as he learned about it (told ya!). That wasn’t the important part.

The important part or should I say partS were that 1, Nighteye was fully aware that Deku had inherited All For One and no one was surprised by the revelation and 2 Nighteye honestly believes that Mirio is the better candidate.

Interesting dynamic creating a worthy and capable rival in Mirio changes a lot of things. Up until now, Deku had the likes of Todoroki or Baku to contend with, except Todoroki is suffering from PTSD and has to sort himself out before thinking of becoming no 1 hero, while Baku is 50% villain if not more. Mirio is very similar to Deku in many respects. Optimistic, respectful and open, it’s very difficult to root for one above the other which creates a very interesting conflict!

Yes, it does! If it were almost any other student, I don’t think Izuku would be as rattled. All of them are competent, and some of them have potential for greatness, but in terms of being number 1, with the exception of Todoroki, I’m not seeing it.

But Mirio is practically All Might Junior! He’s so obviously heroic and so amazingly powerful that Izuku has to wonder if he measures up

I have to admit, all through the test, I hoped that Deku would be smart enough to add randomization as a test — throwing the papers and books that would move without his decision was a perfect way to test the extent of Nighteye’s powers. I was disappointed that Deku couldn’t manage to get the stamp himself.

And I think he was disappointed, too. That’s got to eat at his confidence.

After Deku’s personal trial is over, we go back to the school to find out that he’s really the only student to have had any luck so far. Unlike the previous internship, the work studies program puts students directly in the line of danger, and as such, most professional heroes are not willing to take the risk and do not have the insurance for it.

Nevertheless, it seems no. 3 hero Hawks has put in a request to work with Tokayami (birds of a feather!) while the renowned 3rd years are taking an interest in talking with Kirishima, Tsuyu and Uraraka. I wonder what that’s about!

They seemed afraid to hope — and with Aizawa’s deadpan delivery, it could be anything. I like how this show takes things like liability insurance seriously. It’s a small thing; and maybe I shouldn’t get so excited about it. But it’s the kind of thing that makes the world feel real.

In the closing scene, we find out that it all comes together, in that not only will Deku have to keep an eye on Overhault, but he actually meets him and (ED unicorn girl) Eri in person during the after-credits tag. Exciting things are certainly coming up!

In my notes, I said that scene “felt like doom.” The anguish on Eri’s face as she looked back at Overhaul, the calm glowering power coming from Overhaul himself, and Deku’s usual open expression just seemed to set the stage. I have no idea what’s coming; I’ve not read the manga. But that scene felt momentous.

Next episode is promising!

As I was listening to Aizawa explain the background considerations of hero internship, it struck me yet again how much I like the core premise. Although My Hero Academia doesn’t beat us over the head with it, but it is stated right from season 1 (and whispered throughout) that in a world of heroes for hire and morals for money, virtue becomes irrelevant. The strength of your character is secondary to the marketability of your skill.

This isn’t a very hopeful message, and you may think I’m way off the mark as the universe of My Hero Academia has always been presented to us through Deku’s rose coloured glasses. But there have been a lot of hints to that effect. I mean the entire character of Endeavour is pretty much a personification of this. And I like this theme. I don’t think it will be pleasant to see Deku run up against these bitter realities, but it’s something I have never seen properly explored in a tale for all audiences and I hope I do get to see it in My Hero Academia.

You have this amazing habit of zeroing in on the heart of the matter. I was thinking about that as I watched Nighteye once again disrespect a character (seriously, I’m really angry with him for how he treated Bubble Girl). It’s the classic “might makes right,” but far from being a cliche, the writers are dramatizing its effects through this whole world. It’s the theme that made Stain such a viscerally powerful villain. I couldn’t bring myself to say he was wrong. His reaction to the problem of heroes not being heroic was extreme, but he was right.

And so are you.

The reason I still have any respect for heroes is because of individual heroes, like Deku, All Might, Aizawa, and even Mirio. There are others, of course, but even among our cast, as you mentioned, Baku is half villain himself!

I, too, really hope we see this idea develop during this season.

Another element I’m basing this impression on is the subtle running theme of “faking it”. It doesn’t matter how weak, scared or defeated you feel, a hero must appear strong and in control. That’s All Might’s entire schtick. Be a “symbol”, inspire the masses! It’s really endearing but it does work both ways.

It doesn’t matter how cruel, greedy or ruthless you are, as long as you LOOK the part, as long as you can give a heartwarming interview, then you two can be a symbol of justice. We heard Nighteye say it again. You can”t let them know you’re worried. Authenticity is a weakness, and weakness is bad….

I actually hurt my neck I was nodding so hard in agreement. Based on the previous, it looks like my idea won’t pan out, but do you think that All Might might have chosen Izuku as the next One for All precisely because he’s different? Precisely because his goodness comes first, literally before his heroism, and everything in him flows from that?

In other words, is All Might trying to change what it means to be a hero? Even if I’m wrong, I love how they’re playing with this idea.

That would be sweet. Mind you I have a feeling All Might isn’t all that great at planning ahead. He never really had to after all. With that quirk, he could power through any situation, and later on, Nighteye would have been there to advise him and he sees the future! We’ve seen All Might get himself in sticky situations a lot because he didn’t consider his health or took things for granted. He’s a bit prone to acting first. I think that may be a factor in why he chose Deku. The boy seemed like a hero in the moment.

After these three episodes I have come to realize something, I much prefer to binge My Hero Academia. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying watching along, a lot in fact. But the momentum of the story just doesn’t suit bite-size in my opinion. I would have watched these last three episodes and probably a few more in a single setting easily, and that would have made a cohesive opening arc. As it is, I’m sort of waiting for the story to get started almost a month in.

I can’t find any flaws in your logic! But as I think back across these three episodes, that last shot of Overhaul, Eri, and Deku keeps coming back to me. If we consider the first three episodes as the tag, maybe things are about to kick into high gear. And I can’t wait!

My Hero Academia s4 ep66 – Looming Darkness Halloween is just around the corner and although this episode of My Hero Academia may have seemed fairly cheerful on the surface, there is a darkness brewing that is slowly starting to weigh everything down…

#action #anime #blonde bishie #Collab #episodic #My Hero Academia #shonen

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paolo1350 · 5 years ago

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Nisekoi: My Honest Opinion

Warning! There will be manga spoilers so avoid reading below if you are new to the series.

I came across scenes of this series from a random anime compilation Youtube video. I was immediately attracted to the pretty girl with blonde hair.

I did not immediately decide to read or watch the series but after getting the ending spoiled by a subsequent video, I plunged into it.

I have spent the last 4 days being totally immersed in this heart wrenching series. I watch episodes of the anime and then read the corresponding manga chapters. Once I eventually ran out of anime episodes, I binged on the manga and finally finished it today.

"Deep breaths"

The characters are really dumb and the story is super cheesy. (Like bro, how tf do you keep not noticing that medium sized pendant is missing when you wear it around your neck everyday!) The premise is fine but borders on being unreasonably convenient by the end. I feel there is too much filler chapters for the minor characters. I'm a bit conflicted though because while I do enjoy a number of them, I was yearning for the main story to progress the majority of the time.

And yet

I experienced something special during these past 4 days. I laughed (I enjoy the humor), I gushed at all the tender moments, I cried (3 times, once outside of my room where I had to be careful not to be seen) and I had heart palpitations so rapid that I got worried. It still palpitates now whenever I reread the more emotional chapters or even just think about them! (I was so pissed the anime skipped this chapter, how dare they! I was smiling to myself like an idiot when I saw this scene!)

Given how the ending was spoiled for me before I even knew what the premise was, my whole reason for reading was to experience the journey these characters took to reach it.

So yes, I very much enjoyed the whole ride, some parts more than most obviously. I'm very happy with the endgame relationships.

With all that being said, I truly believe this series will be in my consciousness for a very very long time. Of course the biggest reason for that is the canon pairing of Raku Ichijo and Chitoge Kirisaki. #TeamChitoge

Their relationship and everything surrounding it may be cliche as cliche can be but I enjoyed it so much damn it!

I was crying tears on my pillow when that UNBELIEVABLY DENSE Raku finally realizes Chitoge means more to him than a friend during Chapter 199.

Like come on you big idiot! I have been dying of jealously and frustration over here since chapter 51!

There are times early on seeing Chitoge being so in love with this undeserving bean sprout feels out of line with her character. She surely can do and deserves better.

Raku on the other hand is so typical of the average normal boy who is just all around nice to everyone. The same old cliche of girls falling in love for the main character just because he compliments nice things to them is really overdone and gets used too much in this series.

But that's where the beauty of this being so cliche lies. You arrogantly tell yourself, yeah of course I knew that would happen, and continue reading to see how it plays out.

Given the circumstances, she is forced to spend most of her time with him. She tries her hardest to juggle being a fake girlfriend at the same time harboring feelings for him. Those moments are the ones that hurt most to read because either one or both of them are being unbelievably dense but they are also why the ending makes sense to me. They know each other so well after all the time they were forced to spend together. They hated each other first but grew to care for one another in their own unique way. Seeing how it all happened was so beautiful for me.

Ok, for the last thing I'm going to say, I want to tell the story of why I cried at the ending.

Remember I have already seen the final chapters so once I reached it, I did not cry. I was happy I finally understood the whole story of the promise girl. Where I did start to cry was during the omake with their kids and more specifically, reading this part of the afterword by the author Naoshi Komi.

That's when it hit me. We will always have a chance to see these beloved characters again but as of now, that chance is so infinitesimally small and that just breaks my now fragile heart.

I'm so sad we never got an actual wedding chapter chapter as a true final chapter. Wouldn't that have been a real tearjerker.

But even more than that, I desperately want to see even just a glimpse of their married life. I don't think I have adored a couple's chemistry as much as these two. It would be so satisfying to see if anything has changed after marriage.

Just thinking about how surely happy they are now makes my heart flutter with joy.😭 It is so painful to accept we may never see them again.

I didn't expect to cry at that part honestly. As I finished reading the chapter while lying down, I felt warms tears slowly trickle down my eyes, along my earlobes and drip onto my bed.

I was happy I did.

#nisekoi #kirisaki chitoge #ichijo raku

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walaw717 · 5 years ago

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Tradition makes foolish, unreasonable demands because it aims not at our comfort but at our divinization.

Over Christmas break I have binge watched “The Crown”. When I started it really did not seem my type of thing to watch, I am devotedly American and anti celebrity.

However, even though this is a fictionalized account of the Royals it clarified for me something I have vaguely understood for years.

When I was a boy Mickey Mantle and Sandy Kofax were my boyhood heroes. I was an adult before I found out that Mantle was a stone cold alcoholic and Kofax had feet of clay. In public they presented with a quiet dignity and created an image that I as a boy tried hard to emulate.

Much later the NBA superstar, Charles Barkley, stated, “I am not a role model. I’m not paid to be a role model. I’m paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball, doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.”

Athletes now do not understand that, like it or not, role models are important not just to children but to adults. As was pointed out to Princess Margaret by the family photographer in one episode of the Crown, the person living a life of struggle needs to be able to open a magazine and for one moment see beyond the difficult existence of their daily life to something mythical.

Instead celebrities and media moguls have allowed Celebrities in all areas of media to give us the ideals of greed, crassness and a lack of responsibility with out any sense of the myth of a higher standard. They call it merely entertainment.

No one in their right mind would set out to be a celebrity let alone a King or Queen yet once it occurs there is a duty and responsibility that comes with it. Even the most stout hearted among us needs a mentor to look up to and emulate.

This point was made to me my final year of High School when the guidance counselor pointed out to me that there were younger students who looked up to me. In the brokenness of my own interior castle I could not fathom why or that it was true but I watched the ones she had pointed out and saw it was true. For a time I started to behave more discreetly and responsibly - knowing that I was setting an example for younger people. Later, as I lost myself in the masses of a large university campus and became a number instead of a person, I lost that awareness of that for a while. I did however have my own mentors and heroes in academia. Later in life, as I realized as a counselor how difficult life really is for all of us, I began to understand the power of seeing my brother and father and grand fathers and many of my family in a more heroic light.

I have come to understand that the foundation of maturity is to not only see that heroism in others but to display it in one’s self. Role modeling and its responsibilities is a concept were really need to re value in western society.

Rampant individualism rarely serves anyone but itself. And yes being a role model creates constraints.

A friend pointed out that in this portrait of Major Speed, Academy Adjutant of the Scots Guards at RMA Sandhurst.

He, (my friend) like every Officer and Non Com in the military, understands this concept quiet well.

Media moguls and celebrities live in failure to understand that their celebrity and wealth does not free them from social responsibility but lifts them to a higher social responsibility toward the people who generated their wealth and position.

I am glad I did not know Micky Mantle was a drunk until I was an adult. Part of me realized that it did not matter because he gave me a role model to strive toward that was dignified and larger than my life as a boy. This is something that the Charles Barkley’s and Kardashians and the media in general really need to understand. The lack of that understanding is what has brought our politics to a low ebb and our mutual respect to be non existent.

#thecrown #role models #the royal family #mickey mantel #charles barkley #celebrity #sandhurst

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justsomebucky · 8 years ago

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The Only Exception (Part 3)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,523

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes, drinking, sad story retelling (mentions of death and loss)

A/N: Moving right along…and yes, I used a Keep Reading line. Also, shout out to @redgillan for making my day brighter.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

“What do you mean this is my office now?” You stared at your name, which was now fixed on a plate outside of the door. “I didn’t actually agree to anything long-term yet.”

“I don’t think May cares,” Scott said with a shrug, moving inside the office. “Views are clicks, and clicks are money. That’s basically all they want right now.”

To your surprise and horror, all of your belongings were now in Leah’s office. “When did they manage this?” You stepped in cautiously, as if more awaited you inside.

“Two guys from Maintenance and one from IT were here an hour before you to set everything up.”

You reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone, sending a quick text to your so-called assistant (and so-called best friend). When were you planning on telling me about the move?

“Right now!”

At the sound of Natasha’s voice, you whirled around and narrowed your eyes at her. “You’re supposed to tell me things like this before I get to work and find everything moved already.”

“This part is actually not as bad as the other thing I have to tell you, Y/N.”

Now you were worried. “What? Explain yourself. What other amazing surprises should I be expecting?” You moved closer to where she was standing, your hands on your hips.

“Well,” Nat began, pulling out her own phone and scrolling a bit. “There were four things total. First, you have a meeting with the creative team this afternoon.”

“I knew about that,” you nodded. “Keep going.”

“You have a new office, yaaay!”

Your eyes narrowed some more. “Also knew about that, thanks.”

Natasha gave you a nervous smile. “Here’s a good one: I took the liberty of setting up a date for you and Bucky tonight, once his shift is over.”

“You WHAT?” Now you could feel the out-of-control anger rising. “Natasha! I never agreed to that! He hasn’t even contacted me, and it’s been an entire week!”

“Yeah, about that, he busted his phone on the job Monday night, and begged Steve to ask me for your number again.”

“Likely story,” you huffed, turning away to look out the window. If you were going to be stuck in this office, at least it had a view. You did your regular calming exercise. There’s the Empire State Building…

“Last but not least, May wants you to stream your show live today.”

“Live?”

“Yeah, you know, as it happens. Not pre-recorded. Live,” Scott supplied.

“Got it.” You’d forgotten Scott was even in the room, that’s how quiet he’d been. “Scott, did Leah ever have to live stream her episodes?”

“Oh shit, no, never,” he laughed. “Can you imagine how awful that would have been? We had to do at least three or four takes every episode.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Nat’s voice was grim. “May saw some article about how more and more companies are using live stream on YouTube or Facebook to connect with an audience, so she wants to try it.”

“Don’t you generally have to advertise this so they can actually get an audience?” Scott asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn’t look happy, either.

“Well…that’s another thing…a fifth thing, if you will.”

“Spit it out, Nat,” you growled. “What else?”

“May has been advertising it, on the site that your show links to at the end. And not that you want to hear it, Y/N, but there’s been an awful lot of interest.”

“This cannot be happening.” You moved to sit at your new desk, head in your hands. The room wasn’t spinning, right? That wasn’t a thing that happened. It was just you, feeling faint. “I don’t want to do this.”

“I believe May’s exact words were, ‘She has to do it.’”

You groaned, letting your head fall to your desk.

This day just kept getting worse.

“Okay, just the same as ever, Y/N. I’ll count down, but instead of reading questions from email, you’ll be reading questions live from the comments. Nat is going to be picking them as they come in.”

“Try not to pick terrible questions, Nat, okay?” You were still mad at her for not telling you sooner, though you knew it was unreasonable. Knowing sooner would have just made you worry that much longer.

“Fine. Just, can we get to it? It’s almost time.”

Scott nodded, checking his watch. “Okay, ten seconds.”

You glanced in the mirror, touching your hair one last time before staring at the camera.

You can do this, you can do this you can do this…

“In five, four…’

Shit, you can’t do this! Don’t do this!

“…three, two…” After another beat, Scott pointed at you.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, the Love Therapist, and I’m here live streaming today with all of you to answer your questions, and hopefully offer up some helpful advice. Let’s get right to the chat, shall we? My assistant is going to be picking questions, so if yours doesn’t get answered, don’t worry, the regular show email is still available for you to send in a question.”

Scott left the camera on you as Nat read off the first question.

“Isaac212 asks, ‘I got a girl pregnant, but I don’t really like her at all. She’s terrible, boring, and clingy as hell. What should I do?’”

You made a face at Nat, then the camera. “Well, Isaac, I’d say first of all, it doesn’t really matter what you want anymore. You have a kid with this person you loathe, and the only one I feel sorry for here is the child. Congrats, dad. Time to take responsibility for your actions, even if you hate the woman. Next question.”

When she didn’t say anything, you glanced over at her. “Aren’t there any more questions?”

“Well, actually…this question comes from user Confused in Brooklyn’s Ex-Fiancé.”

More follow up? Why would you have expected anything less… “Go on.”

“He writes, ‘I just wanted you to know that you ended a relationship the other week, and I’m still pissed off, because you gave an answer without thinking of the consequences of your actions. I hope other people think first before they take your advice.’”

There was a brief silence in the room, before you cleared your throat. “Fair enough, Ex-Fiancé. I deserve that. It was my first show, and I did give out advice that was somewhat vague, which led your former significant other down a certain path and away from you.”

You glanced to your right, to the window and your beloved city, before looking squarely at the camera. “But, if you think I caused the problems in your relationship that led to its ultimate demise, you are sadly mistaken. You need to look at yourself and the role you played in making your fiancée feel like she couldn’t talk to you about your problems, so much that she relied on a stranger from the internet for help.”

Scott was nodding behind the scenes, but you were too fired up to acknowledge him.

“It sounds to me, Ex, that you thought everything was sunshine and rainbows when it wasn’t. Were you the only one benefiting from the relationship? Were you even paying attention to the poor woman? I suggest you work on your communication skills, and I sincerely hope everything works out for you in the future. Moving right along…”

The show continued live for an hour, and by the end of it you were mentally and emotionally exhausted. The thought of going home and curling up with a nice book or binging a TV show sounded like heaven right then.

You didn’t even bother to ask permission to leave; what were they gonna do now, fire you? You grabbed your coat and phone, determined to leave work’s baggage where it belonged.

“Where are you going?” Natasha called down the hall.

Dammit; you’d hoped to sneak out before she saw. “I’m going home, Nat. I’m tired.”

“You have a date with Bucky tonight, remember?” She rushed to catch up with you, keeping pace beside you as you hauled ass down the hall.

“No. No, I cannot tonight. I’m sorry. Maybe some other time.” The thought alone made you downright drained.

“Um, well…he’s downstairs waiting.”

That stopped you in your tracks, and if looks could kill… “Excuse me?”

“Steve sorta…asked where we work and I told him.”

“Nat, I love you, I really do, but you have to stop meddling in my personal life. I didn’t ask for your help, and I didn’t ask you to set me up with Bucky again.”

“Well you weren’t going to see him on your own!”

“Maybe that’s the point!” Your voice was getting too loud, so you tried to calm down a little. “I’m not ready. I’m not.”

“You’ll never be ready,” she snapped, before turning and walking away from you.

You didn’t really have a retort to that. Maybe she was right; maybe you were never really going to be ready. Why was it that you could give good advice to strangers, but not take it for yourself?

With a big sigh, you trudged to the elevator, then the lobby, where Bucky Barnes was indeed waiting for you.

“Hey,” he said with a smile, though it didn’t quite look like it was reaching his eyes. “Ready to go?”

“I don’t know if I really want to go out tonight, Bucky,” you said apologetically. “I just had a bad day at work and I kind of just want to go home and veg out.”

“What’s wrong? I watched your show, by the way, on my lunch. That was pretty intense.”

Great. Just what you needed, for the guy you were kindofsortof seeing to see you embarrass yourself live. “So then I guess you heard the one guy who blames me for ruining his life?”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “That was something, wasn’t it.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed, glancing around the lobby. “It’s not my fault his fiancée was having doubts, but suddenly I’m the bad guy who ruined everything. All I did was tell her to evaluate things for herself. Then he goes and suggests that no one should listen to me….Ugh! Whatever.”

“Hmmm. Well, I am a fireman…I can rush you to the burn unit if you want?”

You glanced back at him to see he was absolutely kidding, his eyes now twinkling with mischief. “Hilarious.”

“Just thought I’d offer.”

“Mmhmm…” You nodded out the door. “Well, are we having this date, or what? I could use a distraction, I guess.”

“Ah, that’s the enthusiasm I was looking for,” he joked, motioning for you to lead the way.

You weren’t sure why it surprised you, but your day definitely got better the moment Bucky showed up. He’d taken great care to make sure you were laughing the whole way to dinner.

He’d taken you to a Japanese restaurant, conveniently located halfway between your apartment and the firehouse, because he personally knew the owner. When she first saw Bucky walk through the door, her eyes lit up, and she swooped in to grab him and hug him tightly. He hugged her back with such ferocity, and a fondness you’d never seen from him before.

Now the two of you were seated across from one another, at a small table near the kitchen.

The entire restaurant was comprised of the main dining area and then the small kitchen in the back, but the way it was laid out and decorated made it feel like it was twice its size. Hand-painted designs played out scenes from history and mythology all along the bright yellow walls, while heavy red curtains and red tablecloths brought you back down to reality.

So far, the date was going a little too well. “You won’t be called out again, right?”

Bucky shook his head, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. “Not tonight, no. I swapped on-call shift with Steve so I could be here, uninterrupted.”

A warm feeling spread through your bones, seeping into your heart a little, though you’d never admit it. When was the last time someone put effort into spending time with you? It had been…well, you couldn’t recall, but it had been a long time.

Bucky must have noticed a shift in the atmosphere around you both, because he started fidgeting in his chair. You wondered what could have brought on his discomfort, when he was the one to make such a bold statement.

“I used to live in an apartment above this place,” he explained quietly, his eyes traveling to the staircase in the back of the room. “They were very gracious landlords when I first struck out on my own. She and her husband treated me like family. Her husband passed away last year, so I try to stop by and see her as often as I can.”

You let your own eyes wander over his features while he was lost in thought. His brown hair was getting a little long, and his blue-grey eyes were contemplative. His eyes had little laugh lines around them, and you saw a scar across his chin. Maybe that was from a fire fight gone awry; you’d have to ask him sometime.

When his eyes met yours sooner than you were expecting, you saw surprise flash in them. “You’re staring at me. Was it something I said?”

“No.” You shook your head, feeling your face heat up a little at being caught observing him. “You just haven’t told me much about yourself before.”

“Ah. Well, there’s not much to tell. I was born and raised upstate. My parents moved a little closer to the city, though, after…”

You were almost afraid to ask. “After what?”

His fists clenched on the table, and when he noticed, he moved his hands to his lap. “When I was eighteen, I had just left to go to school down here in the city. My parents were off playing cards with the neighbors, and they left my little sister alone.”

Bucky’s eyes dulled and his expression darkened for a moment, but he shook it away before looking back at you. “She had some kind of candle burning, then they think she fell asleep. There wasn’t much left of the house after they were done putting out the fire.”

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your heart aching for him. You had a sudden urge to try to fix everything, though you knew that was not only absurd, but impossible.

“That’s why I became a fireman, anyways. I wanted to help prevent other families from going through that if I could.” He averted his eyes. “So, tell me why you went into the advice business.”

It was pretty obvious that he was not comfortable talking about his past any longer, so you indulged him this one time. “I didn’t get into the advice business. I got into the therapy business, at least I wanted to.”

“Why, though?” He lifted his curious gaze to meet your eyes again. “What made you decide that was the career for you?”

You didn’t answer him for a moment, trying to collect your thoughts. After his big revelation, you didn’t want to sound like an idiot. “Ever since I was a kid, when someone else was hurting and they didn’t deserve the pain, I hurt, too. If a kid was bullied, I comforted them. If a stray cat was hungry, I fed it. I just-”

You looked down, fiddling with the tablecloth in front of you. “I’ve been told I am empathetic. Over the years, it got to be too much, and it would weigh me down. So I decided that if I could channel it into something more productive it wouldn’t hurt me as much. I don’t know if you noticed, or anything, but I have a hard time letting people get close to me.”

“It sounds like self-preservation.”

Your eyes flickered up to Bucky’s, and while you were expecting judgment, you only saw understanding in them. “Really? Because the guy on the live stream today, the one with the wedding I inadvertently helped cancel, basically told me that I’m a life-ruiner. I’m not going to be able to get over that anytime soon.”

Bucky visibly flinched, but he coughed to cover it up. “Let’s just have a nice meal and forget work and our pasts and anything else but the two of us, okay?”

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all night,” you admitted, reaching for your sake. Things were getting too sad and deep here, and you didn’t want to chase him away yet.

The owner came over just then with both of your plates in her hands, and your stomach rumbled in appreciation at the delicious food she placed in front of you.

“Thank you, this looks amazing as always,” Bucky told her, laying on his typical charm with a smile. The gloom his eyes held earlier was gone, and for that you were grateful.

“You are welcome. Maybe next time you won’t take so long to visit?” She turned her eyes to you, her eyebrows raised. “And you, good for you for putting up with this one. I hope he doesn’t scare you off like he did the last one.”

That must have been a sore spot for him, because he cleared his throat and gave her a nod. “I’m sure I’ll swing by again soon.”

“Good.” She gave a sharp nod to you both, then disappeared through a swinging door into the kitchen.

“What was that about? You scared off your last date? Should I be worried?” You tried to sound like you were kidding, but you were wondering why she would bring it up.

“It’s nothing,” he shrugged, taking a bite of his food. “Don’t worry about it.”

Instead of pushing the topic, you decided to follow his lead and eat your dinner. You even beat Bucky to a clean plate, leaning back with a satisfied groan. “That was amazing, but I’m too full to move.”

Bucky laughed, the little lines you’d noticed earlier finally making an appearance as he stood. “No dessert then?” He gave you a mischievous glance as he pulled out his wallet and laid some money down on the table.

“Let me pay my half,” you offered, reaching into your bag as you stood up too.

Bucky’s hand covered yours before you got very far. “Let’s just head out. I don’t like extended goodbyes.”

“Okay.” You let him take your hand in his and lead you out the door.

Outside, under the weird orange light from the restaurant’s sign, without any warning at all, Bucky cupped your jaw and kissed you for the first time.

If he’d meant it to be a chaste kiss, you wouldn’t know, because you moved closer and deepened it almost instinctively. His other arm wrapped around your waist, locking you tightly against him.

It felt really good to be wanted.

Bucky pulled back after a moment, looking more than a little disheveled and breathing hard. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.”

“Right now, on the sidewalk?” You made a face. “Can’t we wait until we’re indoors somewhere?”

“I don’t want to go any further with this-“ he gestured between the two of you, “-without talking about it.”

“Have you murdered someone?”

Now it was his turn to make a face. “No.”

“Are you…seeing someone else?”

“No, I’m not.”

There was only one logical explanation left, and it hurt to even say out loud. You felt your chest tighten as your anxiety made its presence known. “It’s me, isn’t it? You just aren’t into me? Well, at least you tried, you know, that’s more than most men, and-“

“No,” Bucky interrupted, his hand lifting to brush your cheek gently. “That’s definitely not it at all, I just…I’m worried that when I tell you, you won’t want to see me anymore.”

“What is it then?” you breathed, feeling like your insides were tying in knots. “Because I don’t exactly have a lot of self-confidence, Bucky, and I really need to know.”

He took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly as his eyes searched yours. “It’s a long story. I-“

You could have cursed the entire planet when his (new) phone started going off, interrupting him with an emergency alert. “I thought you said you weren’t on call tonight?”

“If it’s a big enough emergency, I don’t have a choice. I’m really sorry. I don’t want to have a short conversation about this, or text about it. Can we hang out tomorrow?”

“Okay, I will carve out some time for you tomorrow. But we’re doing something that I want to do for once.”

“You got it.” He leaned over and kissed your cheek, then walked backwards slowly. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Can you get home okay?”

“I think I can manage the three blocks to my apartment. Be safe.”

“You, too.” With a final wave, Bucky turned and jogged up the road to the firehouse.

You sighed, holding your bag a little closer as you walked the other way to your apartment.

There was no way you would sleep peacefully that night.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

PERMA TAGS: @sprinkleofhappinessuniverse @alurea-actually @smkunz613 @marvel-fanfiction @bluebrrn @simplyme8308 @cleanslates @ailynalonso15 @jaydenval @imnoaingeal @miss-jessi29 @kittthekat @crownie-sr @indominusregina @wonder-carolina @captain-ros3ann3 @amrita31199 @tatortot2701 @melissalovesmusicyay @kcsavege4134 @lilasiannerd @hardcorehippos @buckyswinterchildren @hello-sweetie-get-the-salt @cosmic-avenger @mirkwood—princess @neverbeforgotten @minervaem @givemethatgold @assbutt-son-of-a-bitch @decemberftw @widowvinter @nolaimagines @notsoprettykitty @dracsgirl @hollycornish @feelmyroarrrr @ancchor @seeyainanotherlifebrotha @aenna-4 @kithlin @heytherepartner @polkadottedpillowcase @johnmurphys-sass @aeillo @winterboobaer @kaaatniss @whyisbuckyso @super-daryl-dixon @wishingtobelost @capdanrogers @gallifreyansass @rockintensse @minaphobia @vaisabu @rchlnwtn @imamoose @ria132love @sofiadiaz04 @actual-bucky-barnes-trash

Story Tags: @mcusebstan @youpocketwitch @universal-glitch @thewinterdorito @aqueenwithoutherkingx @ani808 @themistsofmyavalon @logan8546 @the-renaissance @lostinspace33 @mcsmashdesigns @cantchoosejustonefandom @vivianbabz @sociallyimpairedme @pinkleopardss @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @frnkensteingrl @wunnywho @buckys-fossil @mytrueself @tigers-have-teeth @mcsmashdesigns @kenobi-and-barnes @with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli @grumpybeyonce @zxcorra @themanwiththemetalarm @marvelgoateecollection @blueeyedboobear @comicariadne @vindictivegrace @blue1928 @pixierox101 @wildestdreamsrps

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky x tony #bucky barnes au #AU!buckybarnes #au!bucky #this is fanfiction so if you don't like it keep scrolling and no i cannot fix tumblr's app issues

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robertsmorgan · 8 years ago

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Psychology of Eating Podcast Episode #177: Taking A Big Step Forward with Food, Body & Self

Celeste desires a better relationship with food. She is tired of speeding through her meals and missing out on the experience. She has also noticed her weight fluctuate over and over and wants to find a happy place in her body where she feels comfortable in her skin and her clothes. As she dives into her session with Marc David, Founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, Celeste reveals that her relationship with food is about so much more than needing to control her appetite and portion sizes. She is at a great crossroads in her life where she is stepping up more and expanding her voice and presence. She talks boundary setting, relationships with men, and family dynamics. Tune in as she and Marc come to some powerful conclusions about what comes next.

Below is a transcript of this podcast episode:

Marc: Welcome, everybody. I’m Marc David, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. And we’re back in the Psychology of Eating podcast. And I’m with Celeste today. Welcome, Celeste.

Celeste: Hello.

Marc: Hello. And I am glad you are here. And let me just say a couple words to viewers and listeners. If you are not familiar with the podcast, how it works is Celeste and I are having a first time session together. And we’re going to see if we can do as much work as humanly possible in less than an hour. So that’s the deal.

And if you, Celeste, can wave your magic wand and get whatever you wanted out of our work together today, what would that look like for you?

Celeste: That has to be reasonable, I guess.

Marc: No, it could be very unreasonable. This is magic wand time.

Celeste: Well, I’m assuming we’re talking about food and body stuff.

Marc: Yes, for the most part.

Celeste: So, okay. I think you can actually help. If I could wave a magic wand, I would be able to enjoy my food slowly, calmly, and peacefully and be able to notice when I’m actually full and then stop when it’s time to stop no matter how much food you put in front of me, there’s all around me. Just take away that anxiety of me not trusting myself around too much food.

And also just being able to slow down because I’ve tried a lot of times to slow down. But it just hasn’t happened. And also—we’ll get to this later. But the field I work in kind of makes it impossible to slow down. So I would really love that.

And since it’s a magic wand, why not clear up my skin, optimize my digestion and metabolism, stabilize my weight? That would be awesome.

Marc: When you say stabilize your weight, what would that mean for you?

Celeste: Well, I’ve kind of fluctuated all my life, I think. Or at least since I was about 8 which is when I began emotionally eating, if I’m remembering correctly. So I’m 36 now. So since I was 8, I’ve always fluctuated. There was never a range really for me. So that would be kind of nice.

I’ve given up on being attached to losing a certain amount of pounds. I’m well versed in Health at Every Size and stuff like that. So I’m not obsessed with that. But it would be kind of cool to just chill at some kind of set point. It would be nice.

Marc: Okay. So in an ideal universe, if you could be at the weight you wanted to be at, how much weight would you be losing? Do you have a number in your head?

Celeste: Of course, the old me would have a number that comes to mind. But I know that might not be healthy. So I’d rather not obsess about the number.

Marc: Sure.

Celeste: I would like to have one wardrobe of clothes fit—just fit, and not feel like I’m just bouncing all over the place kind of.

Marc: Got it.

Celeste: With water weight.

Marc: So how much do you fluctuate would you say?

Celeste: Lately, not by much because I’m on the higher end right now. But over the decades, probably about 30 or 40 pounds probably.

Marc: And in your estimation, given that you know you probably as well as anybody else if not way better, why do you think that fluctuation happens? What kind of drives that in your opinion?

Celeste: In my opinion, it would be from just stress eating, eating too fast, late at night sometimes after I’ve worked all day and not had the chance to take a proper break.

From alcohol, too much partying—not so much now but over the decades—too much partying. And then even farther back, just from restricting so much. As we know, the natural response to restriction is eating too much. Probably not a technical binge, but definitely a lot, really fast, more than a human should have in that speed.

So I think that’s why. But maybe it’s something else. I don’t know.

Marc: What happens when you try to slow down more? What goes on?

Celeste: I don’t know. I think to myself, “Okay. I’m just going to sit down and nicely eat this.” And then I just don’t. The first few bites maybe. But then it’s just gone kind of. I think it’s like anxiety that I’m going to get interrupted or that someone is going to come bother me. And that’s what happened. That’s exactly it actually.

Marc: Does that same thing happen when you’re eating around other people?

Celeste: Not as much. Not as much because if we’re all eating together and it’s been established as, “Okay, this is an eating area” and we’re all eating together, then that’s—yeah, I’m glad you asked that because that is the one time I can slow down at least a little bit. But if I’m the only one eating, forget it. I’m trying to just get it done so that it’s done before someone comes and does something. I don’t know what.

Marc: What would you say, at this time in your life—and I’m going to just kind of bounce around with questions. What would you say at this time in your life—putting food aside, body aside, that kind of thing—what are some of the key places that you feel like you’re learning and growing in?

Celeste: Definitely career. I’ve bounced around a lot, always changing my mind about what I want to do. I see other people really successful in certain fields. And then I try to go emulate that. But just recently, I think I’ve figured out what I actually want to do which is working with animals. So that’s really cool.

My cat that I had for 16 years passed away. And kind of the way I healed from it was deciding to get a job in veterinary medicine. I’m really loving it. I never pursued a career in science before. And I’m much better at it than I thought. And I’m really enjoying it.

So I’m learning about myself that it’s never too late to find a new passion. And to be aligned with your purpose is a lot more important than looking successful on paper. So I would say that’s one thing that I’m learning.

Marc: Wow! So that’s kind of big. Let me just ask a couple questions around that. So is this something where you just want to work in a veterinarian’s office? You want to be a veterinarian? Veterinarian assistant? What’s the career path in there for you?

Celeste: Yeah, right now, I’m a veterinary assistant. Next year, I’m going to get some schooling to get my technician license which is basically like a nurse for animals.

And then I kind of have this vision for myself, when I’m much older, going to one of those vet schools on a Caribbean island because I just have this vision for myself that I’m somehow going to manifest tons of money and be smart enough to get in. That’s kind of a dream. But for now, I’m going for the technician’s license.

Marc: Got it. Good for you. Good for you. Okay, so there’s the career piece that starting to kind of drop in for you. I imagine. Tell me. That must feel pretty good to discover that you have this love and this talent.

Celeste: Yes, definitely. And to let go of the story that it would be too sad because I think that was part of the resistance. But I was so appreciative of the veterinary staff when I lost my pet that I kind of wanted to be on the other side of that and provide that for other people.

Marc: Sure, sure, sure. So what else? What else in life would you say are the big kind of learnings/lessons/experiences that are happening for you right now?

Celeste: Definitely relationships. I said the other one first because it was easier.

Marc: Let’s talk about relationships before we talk about animals, yeah.

Celeste: Yes. Relationships. Learning how to stop relying on validation from men and attention from men to feel good about myself, to learn how to make my life my own before making it with someone else.

And finally, just recently, admitting to the person I was with on and off for a really long time that we’re really best as friends and roommates, still living together and just admitting that to ourselves and everyone around us and kind of un-intertwining our lives.

Thankfully, we get along really well. So it’s been a really amicable experience. But during some of the off times when I tried to go and be with someone else, it wasn’t so amicable.

So yeah. Really, working on my relationship with myself is the most important thing—is probably the most important lesson I’m learning right now.

Marc: So kind of learning how not to rely on outside attention from men as an example to feel good about who you are sort of thing.

Celeste: Exactly.

Marc: What else in that?

Celeste: Within that?

Marc: Yes.

Celeste: And kind of not caring what other people think too because this person I was with, seeing us together made a lot of other people happy in a way. So that’s part of what made it kind of difficult to admit. And I kind of can’t believe I’m saying this on a podcast. But it’s okay. It made other people happy to see us together. They would invite us out together.

We kind of looked good together, almost like we’re related because we both have a mixed racial background. It’s not that common that you see two people with mixed racial backgrounds together. So it made sense to other people. But they didn’t know that it wasn’t working behind closed doors, at least not in that way.

Marc: Sure.

Celeste: I’m sure I crossed paths for the reason to be best friends, maybe even soul mates, just not on that romantic level.

Marc: Sure, sure, sure. So for the future, do you have a vision for yourself of what you want in relationship?

Celeste: Really, I just want my relationship with myself to be so rock solid and my boundaries and all of the things I want to do, self-care things, so non-negotiable that it’s impenetrable by someone else really.

That’s really all I can think of for my goal. I guess that’s kind of short term. But I can’t even really think about who I would want to meet down the line, not really.

Marc: So on a day-to-day basis for you, day-to-day basis, what is the biggest challenge or irritation around your relationship with food and body on a day-to-day basis?

Celeste: On a day-to-day basis, since I work in the veterinary industry, some practices don’t actually have a lunch break. Obviously, you can go get food. It’s kind of illegal, I think, not to allow people to get food. But you’re eating.

And that means people might come in. People might need things. The phone might ring. So you can eat your food. But then you’ve kind of got to leave it and come do something and then go back to it. So that is my biggest irritation because I find that when I get the food, I think I have a subconscious race to just finish it before I get interrupted. So that really annoys me a lot.

Marc: So if you were being your coach, what do you tell yourself when you step into that role of you being your coach? And you’re coaching yourself around your body and eating. What are some of the messages you like to tell yourself when you’re being in your higher wisdom self?

Celeste: It would probably be that I need to talk to my boss and insist that I can have a sacred space around my lunch and not be interrupted and somehow make that happen, I guess. But I’m just not sure it would work where I’m working right now.

I’m not sure it would work just because I was told during my interview, “We don’t have a lunch break.” It’s a shorter day because of that which has its benefits too. It’s a shorter day. I think they just don’t want people going to do errands on their lunch break. I don’t know.

I think that and then maybe some other food suggestions of things like maybe smoothies or small snacks to have throughout the day perhaps that would make it easy to just have a few bites without inhaling something and still feel energized. I think that’s all I’ve got for now.

Marc: That’s good. That’s good. Who in your life would you say you care most about their opinion of you?

Celeste: Really, right now, myself. Right now, myself.

Marc: Okay. Other than you.

Celeste: Okay. Other than me. That’s kind of a—I don’t know. I don’t know whose opinion of myself. Yeah, actually, I guess just—could I use future people who will be in—?

Marc: No.

Celeste: Okay, not future people.

Marc: No, they have to exist.

Celeste: Alright. Well, no, I’ll use current. Then I guess the people I work with because they’re going to be in charge of deciding when I deserve a raise. So the doctors I work for will decide how competent I am and when I deserve a raise which I really need because this industry doesn’t pay a lot.

Marc: Yeah.

Celeste: And I live in New York. And I don’t live with my parents. And the struggle is real.

Marc: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Celeste: So I think that’s the most honest answer to that—the doctors I work for because they’re in charge of how much money they’re going to pay me.

Marc: Great. How about your parents? How important is their opinion of you to you?

Celeste: It’s important. I guess I should tell you I don’t really know my father. I don’t really know him. I met him when I was younger. My mom has kind of told me that I should try to contact him. But I kind of feel like back when I was younger he was the adult. And it’s not my job really to try to contact him.

I don’t really have ill feelings towards him. I think that my mom is the one who kind of made the wrong choice of who to have a kid with. But hey, we can’t change the past. And now, at least I’m here because of it. So that’s that.

My relationship with my mom has gotten a lot better as of recently, especially over the summer. We even went to the beach together.

And I think she’s learning to love herself right now, just now. So I don’t even know exactly how old she is but probably 60-something. She’s just realizing it now. And I’m just realizing it now at my age. So our relationship is pretty good.

I don’t know about her opinion of me because I know that she loves me and thinks of me really highly. So I kind of know that already. And I like that. But I don’t know if it’s correct to say, “Oh, I really value her opinion of me.” I’m not sure.

Marc: Yeah, understood. Understood. Back to men for one second. You mentioned before, one of the places you’re interested in getting to in life is just not to have to be reliant on attention from men to give me my self worth, sense of self. It makes perfect sense to me.

What else would you say is another important lesson for you around men? Whether it’s men in general or just being in relationship with a man, another thing that you know you want to learn better, master more.

Celeste: I’m not sure if it’s the same thing, but boundaries definitely. I definitely have had in my past a history of letting guys kind of move in with me way too fast, maybe because they didn’t have a place to stay. Or they had keys, but they weren’t helping with rent. So boundaries in my past with men have been very poor.

Right now, it’s not really an issue. But once it is time to go meet new people, I’m going to need to have those in place.

Marc: Got it. That’s really helpful. So boundaries—just one little piece about that. So boundaries around, “Okay, here’s what I’m giving. Here’s what I’m not giving. Here’s sort of what I need from you. Hey, if you’re not paying rent, I would like some rent. Let’s be fair.” So it sounds like it’s boundaries. But it also sounds like communication and negotiation and saying, “Oh, and by the way, this is me and my needs.”

Celeste: Yes, exactly.

Marc: Okay.

Celeste: Yes, definitely communication. I totally forgot about that. But that is something I have not been very good at in the past either. And I need to work, not just with men but with everyone, on being comfortable with asking for what I want and need because people can’t read my mind and stop being so obsessed with just doing whatever they want to get them to like me.

I think I’m slowly growing out of that. But it definitely deserves my attention.

Marc: My take on you—you’re in a really interesting zone in your life. You said you’re 36?

Celeste: Mm-hm.

Marc: When do you turn 37? What’s your birthday?

Celeste: May 29th.

Marc: May 29th. So what does that make you? Are you a Gemini?

Celeste: Mm-hm.

Marc: Alright. So yeah, it’s an interesting life phase being 36 because technically, number one, you’re still in your 30s. And 30s have a particular quality to them. It’s a time when, in a lot of ways, things come together, especially towards the late 30s.

Things start to come together because they want to come together. Just things are wanting to come together. Things are wanting to integrate more. It’s like, “Okay, we’ve lived three plus decades. Here’s what works. Here’s what doesn’t work.” The stuff that doesn’t work happens to be way more irritating these days in a lot of ways. It’s like, “Ugh. Enough already.”

So we’re wanting to change patterns. We’re wanting to let go of baggage. We’re wanting to get better at things. We’re wanting to have more of the things that we want.

Mortality is kind of starting to click in by your late 30s. By 34, 35, 36 for a woman, it’s like, “Okay. Who are you? What do you want to be? Do you want to get married? Do you want to have kids?”

Do you want to have kids? Is that something?

Celeste: Right now, no. No. My peers tell me it’s just because I haven’t met the right person yet. That may or may not be true. I don’t know. I’m pretty happy with my cats right now.

Marc: Got it. Got it. Got it. So this is a time in life where you’re solidifying more. And just even using terms like “creating boundaries” or “creating better communication” or “saying what I want” or “getting on a career path.” And “Fine, it’s not making me millions of dollars. But it’s something I really love. And I want to dig in more. Sure I want to make more money.”

So I just hear you doing a lot of clarifying. And I hear you also having openings that are relevant, meaning being in this new career path, getting clear about the relationship that’s been on and off for you and getting clear. “Okay, here’s the best box to put this relationship in.”

That’s actually helpful. That’s a really darn helpful thing. And in a sense, that’s creating boundary, structure. It’s kind of naming, for yourself who you are, what you want, and what you don’t.

So I hear you getting more refined. And what I want to say is, first of all, congratulations! Good for you! I really think you’re in a good place. A lot of people I speak to have a felt sense that they’re stuck.

I hope—and I really mean this. I hope for you that you don’t feel stuck. And if you do—if any given day you say to yourself, “I feel stuck.” I really want you to check in around that because I really feel, in the big picture, you’re on a very good path for yourself. It honestly feels like things are coming together. So there could be moments of feeling stagnant or stuck. But overall, your train is moving.

Celeste: Yes.

Marc: And it’s moving in a good direction. And I just think that’s important to notice because part of also being in your late 30s is, in my way of putting things, you are in the late princess stage. And “princess,” I don’t use that term in a pejorative sense. It’s not an insult. It’s just a life stage. And the 30s are the final stage of being a princess.

Once you hit around 40, I call that queen in training. You’re not a princess anymore. You’re not quite a queen. But you’re in this hybrid zone where you’re really stepping up.

And you’re finishing up your princess stage which means you’re tying together a lot of loose ends. And you are positioning yourself to be a queen in training.

Celeste: Yeah, I like that.

Marc: And what that means is you owning yourself as a woman. And in order for you to own yourself as a woman, you’re defining what that means for you. And only you can define that. Nobody else can define that for you—nobody.

Define for you what it means to be a woman. Do you want to be in relationship? Do you want to be a mother? Do you want to have this kind of man, that kind of man? What are your non-negotiables in relationship? What do you really want? What are your needs independent of any man, any other person? Where do you draw the line about anything?

So you’re figuring that stuff out. Very empowering. That’s going to set you up in a good way for this next phase of life. So I see you doing that. And I see you in that transition because you’re not quite the uncertain girl anymore. But you’re not quite the 100% certain woman. You follow me?

Celeste: Right.

Marc: So you’re in the transition zone. And it’s a fine thing. It’s a beautiful thing because, in part, you’re exploring, and in part, you’re solidifying grounding.

And in relation to food and body at this stage, what you I heard you say at the beginning when I say, “Okay, wave your magic wand. What would you get?” One of the first things that you said is, “I don’t want to be fluctuating so much.”

I started asking you numbers. And you got really clear. You said, “Hey, I don’t want to get stuck on a number. I just want to feel more of a sense that I’m not bouncing around.

What that says to me is that you’re wanting to be in a more stable place inside yourself. So I also think that you’re getting that being in a stable place inside yourself in a weird way means shutting out a little bit of what’s going on out there—men coming at you, this coming at you, this experience, that experience, this person wanting this, that person wanting that.

And it’s like, “Wait a second. What does Celeste want? What does Celeste need? Putting you guys to the side for a minute.” So you’re doing that. So I think that’s really brilliant and smart. And I just 100% support you in doing that. You don’t have to be in any kind of relationship or any kind of dating at any point. The more you’re relating and dating yourself, the better.

Celeste: Yeah, definitely.

Marc: Really, the better. And when you’re ready, you’ll be ready. When you’re ready to experiment and check it out, you will. But I think it’s really good to withdraw your energy a little bit and start to strengthen your own core.

Part of that—part of feeling more stable and not fluctuating in weight—your fluctuations in weight are simply—in the simplest way, and I really mean this—just a reflection of how you fluctuate as a person, how your boundaries aren’t always exactly what they need to be for your best health, how “whoops! I let in too much of this person, this person’s energy, or this food I let in too much of. Or I didn’t slow down and pay attention with this food, this meal, this person.”

So as you’re getting more clear and as you fluctuate less about your bottom line, about what you want, you need, your body will fluctuate less. Your eating will fluctuate less. So what I’m saying is they’re a function of each other. And on one level, what is happening for you with food and body, there is nothing wrong with it. It’s just tracking your life. Does that make sense?

Celeste: Yeah, I never thought of it that way, but yes.

Marc: It’s tracking your life. And it’s not bad. Now, granted, I’m saying that from the outside. I’m not you. Now, if I was you and my weight is fluctuating, I’m going to go, “Damn! I don’t want that. Wait a second. I want to slow down with eating. I want to feel more connected. But I don’t. Okay, so then that has my attention now.” What does that mean?

And at this stage of the game, I want you to be so clear that whatever challenge you face with eating has nothing to do with you doing something wrong. It has everything to do with life is just showing you where you can up your game.

Life is just saying, “Okay, Celeste, you’ve been fluctuating.” Do you know why? Because you fluctuate. Because you’ve been learning to define yourself as a person, as a woman, as somebody who works in the world. “What do I want to do? Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? Well, let me try this job, that job. Let me try living with this guy, that guy. Whoa! That didn’t work. Let’s try something else.”

So you’ve been experimenting. And in that place, you fluctuate. Things shift. It’s okay. There’s no blame there because you’ve been trying to learn who you are.

And to me, we’re having this conversation at a time where, whoa! it’s kind of starting to come together for you. It’s actually starting to come together. So I really want you to honor that that’s happening, just acknowledge to the universe, to God, to whomever, “Oh, this is happening for me.” That’s a good sign. It means your work is paying off. It means your work on self is paying off.

So part of what I’m saying to you is part of stepping into your womanhood is you have to know when to stand by yourself. Just as you need to feel good about yourself by not having men give you attention, you need to be able to look in the mirror and say, “Good job, honey.” You need to be able to look in the mirror and go, “Not bad. You put in some effort. And now, you’re seeing some damn good results.”

You need to uplift yourself and acknowledge, “Oh, I’m accomplishing this.” It’s not egotistical. It’s just we spend so much time criticizing ourselves. Damn! A little bit of balance. Let’s also notice when there’s a success and notice when your work is paying off because you’ve got to acknowledge the victories.

And when you acknowledge them and own them, then you are owning the best of you. And you’re feeling the best of you. And that gives you more power. Make sense?

Celeste: Yeah. Yeah! Yeah, I never thought of it that way. I’ve heard of celebrating victories. But I guess I never really learned how. How exactly do you do that?

Marc: So I think we all do it differently. But I think, at the least, what I’m asking you to do is discover—experiment, discover, play with—how you can celebrate victories first and foremost by yourself. Secondarily, you might choose to celebrate with a girlfriend, with a friend, with your momma. “Hey, we’re going out for dinner. I want to celebrate something in my life.”

Celeste: Yeah.

Marc: But first and foremost, it could just simply mean you lying down in bed at night and holding your heart and going, “Wow! Here’s what I’ve done and accomplished. Here’s the leap I’ve made. I wasn’t clear about work. And now look where I’m at. I wasn’t clear about men. And now look where I’m at. I wasn’t feeling fully grounded in myself. And look where I’m at. Wow! Congratulations.” Just being able to gift yourself that in the silence of your own being.

Celeste: Yeah, I think I sometimes just let stories get in the way of that and see people who are younger and seem to have it all figured out and then get in the comparison game. And it’s like, “Why couldn’t I have figured it out when I was 20.” And then it’s like, “Oh, I know why. Because I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. And everything happens for a reason at the right time.”

Marc: Yes.

Celeste: But I’ve really let those stories get in the way of celebrating when I should have just been honoring how far I’ve come.

Marc: Yeah, and that’s what the princess mind will do. It will always look for a “how could I have been more perfect? What did I do wrong? How could I have done it better?” because the princess mind gets trapped oftentimes in perfection and doing it right.

Whereas, as you step into the woman in you and more of the queen in you or more of the evolved princess in you, we honor our own journey because your journey is the right journey for you because as long as I’m sitting around comparing myself to him, her, this one, or that one, I’m screwed because there’s always somebody bigger, better, stronger, smarter, richer, prettier, whatever.

There’s always going to be somebody you could compare yourself to that’s going to make you feel like garbage. So that’s a game that has no victory in it whatsoever. And it doesn’t work.

What works is us being able to embrace my unique journey. Your unique journey is the right journey for you. As you start to feel that and get that and know that, you’re empowered. You’re self-respecting. And you’re not as easily knocked over by somebody’s knucklehead judgment of you. Or their opinion of you will matter less because you’re clear about who you are.

“This is the road I took. Okay, fine if you made more money than me by the time you hit 25. Whatever. Whatever. That’s your journey.” You don’t know what that person is going to be like. Fifty years from now, they could be poor and on the street. You don’t know another person’s journey. We can’t say.

Celeste: Yeah.

Marc: But we know ours. And it feels like you are respecting your journey more. That’s kind of what I’ve been hearing from you.

Celeste: Yeah, and I’ve been sharing it more on my blog and with other people even though I was reluctant to at first because I think I was a little bit embarrassed of how much I bounced around because when I would run into people, they’d say, “Oh, how is such and such going?” whatever thing I was doing last. And it’s like, “Oh, I don’t do that anymore.”

But now, it’s time to just own it. So what if I bounced around a lot?

Marc: Yeah, that’s what I’ve needed to do. I was less bouncing around. I was more exploring. And I was learning. And I was getting experience.

Celeste: Yeah, lovely.

Marc: Yeah. It’s as simple as that. So it’s about living a life of there’s no blame. Yeah, sometimes we do things we’re ashamed of, if I did something wrong, if I hurt someone. Yeah, I want to consider that. Yeah, I want to make amends. Yeah, in that sense, a little bit of guilt is okay because it helps us understand that we might have hurt another.

But that doesn’t sound like that’s a big factor for you. It sounds like really what’s going on here is you learning how to respect and honor your path and your journey. And that’s where you’re going to start to feel empowered in your eating and empowered in your body because now when you want to slow down—really what slowing down is, is it’s owning your moment.

It’s saying to yourself, “I’m embodied. And I can choose the speed at which I’m experiencing this moment. If I want to take a deep breath and be silent with you, I can do that. If I want to listen to you talk, I can do that. If I want to yak away, I can do that.”

So it’s having ability in the moment to choose who I want to be. And sometimes, moving fast is what we need to do in a moment. Sometimes you’re at work, and there are things happening. And there are people. And there are animals. And you are needed. And your appetite has to take backseat to the moment. Okay, that’s fine.

But at the same time, there are times when, “Okay, and now I’m home. And now I want to be able to regulate myself. And I want to slow down because slowing down helps me contact me.” So that’s the only point of slowing down. It’s so you can be in contact with you in a way that maybe works for you.

And true it is when it comes to food and when it comes to your metabolism. The more you are able to slow down in that process and notice and feel and be, the more information you have. The more you can be slow with how you’re holding an animal, the more you know how to hold it.

And yeah, there are moments. You could pick up an animal. And you don’t have to think about it. But you do it just right. Some people have a sixth sense. But there’s a way where moving slowly teaches us the nuances and the specifics. It’s a form of empowerment.

So I don’t want you to look at anything you’re doing as, “Oh my god! I’m too fast. I’m doing it wrong. I can’t slow down. I’m doing it wrong. I can’t control my appetite. I’m doing it wrong.” You’ve got to let go of “wrong” stuff.

As soon as you judge yourself for doing something wrong, I want you to look at, “No, I’m in a life where I’m on a journey where I’m learning how to educate myself to be stronger, better, more empowered, more efficient at who I am and what I do.” As opposed to, “I’m doing something wrong and trying to fix myself because I’m broken and I’m weak or something.”

Celeste: Yeah. Yeah, making myself wrong has never really helped actually.

Marc: Yeah. Yeah. That’s kind of the transition I see you doing right now.

Celeste: Okay.

Marc: And it makes sense to you. And you’re going to be between both worlds. There are going to be moments where you’re blaming and self-judging. And it’s all about catching yourself. It’s all about catching yourself and being aware and conscious and then choosing—choosing to stand by you, choosing self-love in the moment.

Celeste: Yeah, I liked how you said what about when I get home because when I get home there’s no rush. There’s no reason to eat really fast. But then I do it anyway because I’m still on that autopilot. So that would be interesting to see what happens when I’m just at home alone. Nobody is going to come bother me.

Marc: Yeah.

Celeste: How it would work.

Marc: Yeah, and play with it. Just play with it and practice. Make it more playful as opposed to, “Oh my god! I have to do this. And I better not overeat.” You follow? That’s different.

Celeste: Yeah. Yeah.

Marc: It’s playing with it, seeing, “How can I make this enjoyable?” Because part of you also, when you come home from work, you’re going to want food to give you the goodies.

Celeste: Yes.

Marc: That’s fine. I want you to want food to give you the goodies. So part of that means actually enjoying it. And part of getting joy and pleasure means we have to be present to the joy and the pleasure. And we have to very specifically invite in that joy and pleasure.

Oftentimes for people, we get habituated to fast eating being a pleasure in and of itself. Oddly enough, it can have a pleasurable component to it. It quickly stress relieves us. It gives us a quick food hit. It gives us a quick pleasure hit. It’s a quickie.

Celeste: Yeah.

Marc: And it happens fast. And there is a pleasure there. But it’s not a long lasting pleasure. It’s not a sustainable pleasure. And it’s the kind of pleasure that, ultimately if you do that every day, it starts to have a downside to it.

So it’s also teaching your body how to relate differently to pleasure. So it’s teaching your body how to invite in more pleasure by slowing it down.

If you want to enjoy the person you’re sitting next to more, spend more time with them, and be more present when you’re with them. You’ll have more joy and more pleasure.

Even if you only have 10 minutes, if you’re present for 10 minutes, you’ll get the most enjoyment and pleasure. If you’re absent for 10 minutes, you get less joy and pleasure. And then you’re left hungry for more.

Celeste: Yeah.

Marc: So you’re on the woman training right now.

Celeste: Yes. I like that—queen in training.

Marc: Yeah.

Celeste: Or soon-to-be queen in training.

Marc: Yeah. Queen in training. Yeah, yeah. You can start early. That’s fair.

Celeste: Yeah. I like that.

Marc: Yeah. Yay! So how are you doing? How are you feeling?

Celeste: I’m feeling good. It felt good to just say all that I said. And sometimes, I think just sharing my whole journey with you, it kind of is a way of celebrating it.

Marc: Yes.

Celeste: Because I don’t really talk to that many people other than my cats or the clients who come in, the people I work with. So they really don’t know where I’ve come from. So it’s not every day I have a conversation like this. So it’s kind of a celebration in itself.

Marc: Yay! How perfect! And that’s exactly what I’m saying. The celebration can also happen in any given moment. It could happen when you’re walking to work and you happen to pass by a window. And you look at yourself. And you just go, “Nice!”

Celeste: Yeah, I’m getting better at that definitely.

Marc: Yeah, yeah. Good.

Celeste: But a work in progress for sure.

Marc: Alright.

Celeste: For sure.

Marc: Well, I am celebrating you and your journey right now. Really, that’s what I’m taking away from this conversation. You are on your path. You’re going in the direction you need to go in. And what I hear from your journey is a success story. It doesn’t mean it’s all perfect. No success story is perfect. And I’m celebrating you. Congratulations!

Celeste: Thank you.

Marc: Yeah. And we get to meet in another handful of months and do a follow up and see how things are going for you. So I hope you continue to kind of strengthen yourself and spend as much time doing the Celeste-by-herself thing as you need to.

Celeste: Yeah.

Marc: And see what’s there for you. Good for you.

Celeste: Yeah, I’m just as curious as you to see where I am in six months.

Marc: Yay! Yay! So we shall check in. Somebody on the staff will reach to you to schedule. And I so appreciate you being so open and honest—

Celeste: Yes.

Marc: And real and sharing yourself in this way. I really do.

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P.S. If you haven’t had a chance to check out our FREE information-packed video series, The Dynamic Eating Psychology Breakthrough, you can sign up for it HERE. It’s a great way to get a better sense of the work we do here at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. If you’re inspired by this work and want to learn about how you can become certified as an Eating Psychology Coach, please go HERE to learn more. And if you’re interested in working on your own personal relationship with food, check out our breakthrough 8-week program designed for the public, Transform Your Relationship with Food, HERE.

from Robert Morgan Blog http://psychologyofeating.com/the-psychology-of-eating-podcast-episode-177-taking-a-big-step-forward-with-food-body-self/

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