#yes 6reeze in 1 dorm

[calxvace]

kazuscara | risk it for me or run away again like you used to

—When Kazuha and Scaramouche started dating, they both agreed to keep it a secret but as time passes by, Kazuha is tired of hiding and he doesn't want the two of them to argue even for the slightest matter however he became so upset on how Scara is acting lately.

Waking up in the morning due to the fresh cold breeze, Kazuha reaches out on the other side of his bed feeling his white sheets and pillows without the presence of his boyfriend. He picks up his phone on the side table to see what time is it already, it’s still 5 in the morning yet Scaramouche left the room already. Although he is fond of him leaving his room ahead of time because their flat mates might see them, today is too early plus it’s a Saturday. Usually, Scaramouche gets up in 8-ish am because only then someone in their apartment will wake up to attend their class. Kazuha tried to brush it off avoiding small couple fight, but what welcomed him outside his door amplified what he felt earlier, Aether cooking breakfast while Venti hugs him from behind talking too sugary and warm for this cold morning.

“Morning Kazuha!” Venti greeted him with a cheerful high five which he received while yawning as he walked past them to brush his teeth. Aether then became the alarm clock of the house, “The sun is already risen wake up everybody! I cooked breakfast; First come first serve!”

With that, loud rushed footsteps are heard together with the screeching of the wooden chairs and the sound of them putting weight on their sits. Everybody is still wearing their pjs making the mood very home-y and cozy, Heizou still struggling to open both of his eyes leaning on Xiao’s shoulder while clinging on his arms, he started staring on the food the two are making causing the others to laugh uncontrollably and unintentionally make a domino laugh. Meanwhile, Scaramouche helps on pouring drinks specifically chocolate milk and orange juice, when Kazuha walked out the bathroom, he immediately helped his boyfriend on serving the drinks but before that Kazuha gave him a light squeeze on his hands that’ll serve as his good morning kiss for now, the other responded with a subtle smile.

Eating breakfast is always chaotic on their place, be it stealing food or drinks or just basically talking and arguing loudly but who cares right? They’re making memories.

“Can we switch game day to a movie day? I don’t want to end up with sore arms again due to Aether slapping the hell out of me” Heizou suggested holding his arms acting like it is badly hurt. “Yeah? Who’s the one cheating tho” the blonde argued.

“We can if majority agrees. So, who’s up for a movie day? Anyone?” said Venti waving his hands up gathering votes. The decision was divided equally so the others tried to convince those who disagreed.

“Fine, only if we refrain from those cheesy movies, it makes me feel single as fuck with all y’all cuddling on the couch” Scaramouche proclaimed which made Kazuha frown.

‘he’s still pretending’

Yes, both of them agreed that they keep their relationship a secret but what Kazuha never gets is the way his boyfriend covers up their relationship with pretending to be solo.

“How ‘bout you Kazuha?” Aether asked making Kazuha jump on his seat. “What the hell? Did you see a ghost? I’m too gorg to be a ghost” the blonde one stated, Kazuha just smiled thinly and agrees with the thought of having movies instead of games for today.

Aether noticed how Kazuha’s face sunk on Scaramouche’s statement so he asked him if he’s alright, Kazuha put up an ok sign for him. Aether is the only person who knows about Scaramouche and Kazuha’s relationship, or so the couple thought.

For their movie day, Xiao is assigned to set up the projector and the movie they are watching, Heizou is assigned on arranging their living room to a more theater like feel, Venti is assigned on preparing their snacks, the others have nothing assigned since they were the once preparing last Saturday.

While the others are busy preparing, Scaramouche is working for something in his laptop on the island of their kitchen, Kazuha sat beside him and clung into his arms leaning on Scaramouche’s shoulder and caressing his hands slowly. His boyfriend was startled of course so he pushed Kazuha away, and looked around anxiously. “Everybody’s busy don’t worry baby” Kazuha assured him.

Scaramouche then reached for his lover’s hand, intertwine his and lowered it where no one can see they are holding hands and starts gently caressing it, “Just hold my hand for now, we can’t be so sure”

“Why are you so scared of being caught? It’s not like we’re doing a crime here” that statement of Kazuha made Scaramouche stopped abruptly and getting ready to explain himself but his boyfriend parted their joined hands and walked away with the excuse of helping the others prepare.

Kazuha hated the thought of them having even the slightest misunderstanding but he couldn’t control himself today, and walking away will prevent them fighting. It’s always Kazuha who tries his best for them to hold each other tight, maybe today he wanted Scaramouche to do his part better.

“Go to your places! I’m starting the movie!” Xiao shouted from the living room so everybody went to their usual places. Three sat on the floor circled by fluffy soft pillows and the rest sat on the couch. Before pressing play, everyone got their snacks on hand and made themselves comfy on their places.

As the introductory part of the movie played, they realized it was a horror movie, “who chose the movie?! I did not sign up for this” Heizou shrieked standing up on his place and squeezing himself in between Aether and Venti, “dads help” he said while hiding in their arms.

Venti with his silly ass teased Heizou and pulled him out the couch, “stop being a crybaby the movie isn’t starting yet, just hold on me whenever you’re scared” he suggested putting an arm around him.

“He’s right don’t disturb our parents on their cuddling session” Xiao added patting the space where Heizou should be sitting. The couple just laughed on his statement and told them to be quiet already and watch the movie.

As for Kazuha, he’s already not moving on his sit, unrelaxed hands and unsteady eyes. This is why he hated movie days, because if it isn’t those cheesy movies Scaramouche hated is playing, it’s a horror movie. He reached for his boyfriend’s arms and clings to it, “I-I’m scared, hold me please” Kazuha whispered holding his arms tighter, but Scaramouche refused pushing him away and mouthed him they might see.

Kazuha was of course in disbelief and disappointment, his boyfriend values others more than him, his heart started to feel as if someone is crushing it painfully slow, clutching his chest, tears started to flow down his reddened cheeks. He stood up on the couch and went to join the others on the floor wiping his tears with the hem of his hoodie.

During the movie Kazuha’s mind is floating everywhere, even suspending and shocking sound didn’t make it to bring him back on the movie. He was fiddling around their couple necklace; silver chained, with their initials on the dangling promise ring, thoughts are oozing everywhere making him ruffle his head aggressively catching Venti’s attention that leaded to him asking if the boy was okay. As usual, Kazuha put his thumbs up and gave him a smile but this time it was with a hint of pain, even though his crying eyes wasn’t seen, his tears glistened like a crystal in the dark.

When he couldn’t take it anymore, the lad stood up catching everybody’s attention, “hey the movie is almost finished where are you going?” asked the others but Aether just shushed them and said to just focus on the movie. He gave Scaramouche a look which he doesn’t seem to understand until he motioned him to follow his other half.

Kazuha never felt this ridiculous before, when they started dating, he always feels full and happy like how he feels whenever he looks out the window every morning and see birds flying freely. Even when they decided to keep it private everyday went smooth, he didn’t know what went wrong and Scaramouche decided to act like he’s a solo to everyone.

“Babe open up its me” Scaramouche said as he cautiously knocks at the door of Kazuha’s room. The other didn’t answer and just covered himself up with his white fluffy blankets.

Scaramouche still kept knocking on the door but it gets soft as he goes longer, his head leaning on the door. “Talk to me please” he pleaded as the door finally opened showing Kazuha still with his blankets on with his lowered head avoiding Scaramouche’s gaze.

“What” he said as they sat on his bed. “I’m sorry for what I did there, I didn’t expect it to make you feel upset.” What Scaramouche said just made Kazuha more upset and angrier, it was not what happened earlier but what was happening on their relationship overall. Tears are escaping his eyes again making him burry his head on the nearest pillow. “That isn’t it, please leave and take this” Kazuha handed him their couple necklace which made him shocked and hurt.

“Why are you giving this back to me? Are you giving up on us already?” Scaramouche asked facing Kazuha who is still on his pillow. Silence filled the room for a moment, “give me an answer Kazuha, I will not leave you until you give me a proper answer” he said touching Kazuha’s hand squeezing it lightly.

“Do you really think I will be the one giving up first? I’ve been putting up with you all the time, all I want is for us to move free even if it’s just here with our friends I’m tired of hiding Scaramouche” removing Scaramouche’s hand on top of his, Kazuha faced him and looked straight on his eyes.

“If we’re just going to hide every time, let’s just end this” as soon as Kazuha was done with his sentence Scaramouche couldn’t help it anymore, blood rushing to his ears and nose, tears streaming down his cheeks, he could not say anything. Instead, his eyes poured everything.

Kazuha was taken back but he was serious, he didn’t intend to make his boyfriend cry but he really doesn’t want this relationship to be kept hidden, he just wants to express his love to him anytime anywhere without something stopping him.

Kazuha cupped the other’s cheeks and wipes his tears, “I didn’t say it to make you cry you I know I wouldn’t make you cry, but really Scaramouche if we’ll continue to act like this I don’t know if I can hold on anymore. I love you but I can’t do this anymore”

All this time Kazuha knew how sensitive Scaramouche was, after all he knew him the best. He knew why Scaramouche wants them to be a secret, he knew why he was so protective of their relationship, on their case specially. They were not normal on the others’ eyes, that’s what worries Scaramouche the most but Kazuha never cared about that as long as they were together. Kazuha wanted Scaramouche to risk it, Kazuha wanted Scaramouche to say he loves him in front of everybody so bad but Scaramouche couldn’t and only says it when the two of them are alone, he doesn’t even say it on texts regularly.

Kazuha was very understanding of Scaramouche but this time he wanted to be the one who is understood, “it’s on you Scaramouche. Choose whether you’ll risk it for me or run away again like you used to” Kazuha removed his hands on Scaramouche’s face but still he locks eyes with him waiting for his answer.

Scaramouche looked down on their necklaces he was holding. “I-i” as he stutters Kazuha held his hand, “Don’t worry I respect whatever your decision is, you know how much I love you and I’m willing to let you free if that’s what you want”

But that’s not what Scaramouche wants, he admits it he’s scared of how fragile their relationship is and once Kazuha lets go everything will scatter around like broken mirror pieces. He wants to be free too, he wants to hold Kazuha’s hand and tell him how much he loves Kazuha but his anxiety eats him up before anything else, his fear wins every time.

He could not imagine what life would be without Kazuha again, can he manage to laugh again? Can he manage to be childish again? Kazuha completes him and he doesn’t know what will happen if he is to disappear on his life.

“As expected, I cannot see how I am without you” with those exact words from Scaramouche, Kazuha cried tears of happiness as his lips forms a smile exactly the same when Scaramouche fell in love with him.

Kazuha knows what Scaramouche meant by that; he didn’t need any more explanation those exact words were enough for him to know how Scaramouche really felt.

“I love you Kazuha, with all my heart. You know exactly how I feel, I’m sorry if I couldn’t bare the fear I have every time, I will not give any more excuses from now on we’ll be free on our own relationship”

With those words coming out of his mouth he went straight to his boyfriend’s arms, both of them naturally found the best position to feel so loved and comfortable kinda similar to what we feel when we finally got home but different as Scaramouche have Kazuha by his home.

“How about we start with our friends? Right now, come on let’s go outside” the younger stood up and tugged Kazuha’s arms leading him to the place where everyone is now screaming because apparently the movie was so intense.

“You missed the best part where did the two of you go?” Xiao said as he notices the two arrived

“Guys we have an announcement”

As the both of them suddenly kinda shouted, Heizou stopped the movie

“If it’s the two of you dating never mind, we all know, now sit! I just want to finish the damn movie!” Venti proclaimed, the others were just nodding and the couple? Yeah, they were smiling as if they received a candy as a kid

“Take your sit fruity boys” Aether said teasing the both of them as he pats the vacant seat beside him