#years go by and ppl come and go but the feelings stay the same

[willowfey]

i turn 25 in 5 days. does anyone have any advice on how to be normal about that

[herawell]

.

[famewolf]

my uncle gave me his login for an ancestry website that him and someone from a different, but related, family had worked on for quite some time.

how are these people living into their 70s and 80s in the 16th century??

[targaryenluvs]

Can you make a fic with a dark coriolanus x reader

Post Lucy running away where he stays a peace keeper for some time and he helped reader avoid being picked for the games and he abuses his power as peace keeper against reader whom he helped and holds it over her head (she has no family but her friends are like family) and he does all types of fucked up stuff to her sexually and he fetishizes her for being a woc (reader is a woman of color) and he fetishizes her skin or something and he keeps saying all creepy stuff and he then marries her (after convincing her no one would want her after him) and parades her around and shows off to capitol ppl who also fetishize her and she becomes basically his property with a creepy nickname and you pick the ending

BROWN JEWEL

pairing: dark!coriolanus snow x fem!poc!reader

summary: he was a lifeline and you’d grabbed on in hopes to avoid the reaping, but you were coriolanus’ obsession and he was not going to let you go.

warnings: obsession, abuse of power, nc touching, threats, forced marriage, fetishisation of skin color?? non-con (p in v), public sex, pregnancy, forced marriage, jealousy of infants? kisses, kinda stockholm/reader gives in

wordcount: 3.1k

a/n: audibly gasped reading this rq (i did change it around a bit since some of it i was unsure of how to write and if i felt comfy doing it) i went off track for sure

this was your last year for being involved with the reaping.

just tomorrow then you'd be in the clear for the rest of your life.

you had friends who relied on you, and their families which were practically your own. you’d been raised with them after your parents passed and you owed them your life. you were an amazing hunter and your game kept them going. you were skilled with hunting, medicine, literate because of your best friends mother. you helped them all in so many ways and you knew they needed you.

through your older years, you began to realise you weren’t exactly the same as your friends. their light skin and light eyes in contrast to your darker tones were always a reminder of your unshared bloodline. yet they never treated you any differently.

you had to live for them.

so it was how you ended up in the tree line by the peacekeepers barracks. hoping to bribe one into pulling your name from the bowl before it was placed infront of the justice building. what you didn’t expect was for a soldier to find you first.

“what’re you doing here?” he spoke from behind you as you stumbled to get up. “i... i wanted to talk to someone, to try and uhm, get them to do something for me.” he exuded confidence with his chin in the air and his grip on his gun. he obviously thought he was better than you. “what do you want me to do for you?” you sighed, “i was hoping, to get my name taken out of the reaping bowl.” he tilted his head, a smirk on his face and you wanted to peel your skin off with the way he was looking at you.

“come closer.” and you did, stepping into the moonlight. he found you to be gorgeous, glowing. “i’ll do it.” your eyes widened as you smiled, “thank you!” and he took a step closer to you, “but what will i get in return?”

and that’s when you should’ve run for the hills.

at the reaping ceremony, he coincidentally placed himself right next to your row. his stares were harsh on your back. your hands were sweating and you couldn’t think straight until that name was called, and it wasn’t yours.

“we’re safe.” your friend whispered into your ear as you smiled at her, “yeah, we are.” but for some reason you weren’t convinced. the peacekeeper was on you like a shadow ever since the day before. on the walk home he was following you and you knew it, but if you confronted him you had no clue what he’d do to you. so you felt it best to keep your head down, and get home. you didn’t expect for him to barge his way in.

“what’re you doing?” your voice was shaky and you could feel the perspiration on you, for someone reason this man made your body go haywire and you wanted to leave. “why? can’t i come see the pretty girl i saved?” your head was facing downwards as you began to mumble, “my names only in eight times, my odds were low anyways. a lot of people took tessera.” you heard him click his tongue, tutting and shaking his head in disagreement, “seven.”

he was right infront of you now, and as he bent down to whisper in your ear, you froze up, “i don’t do things for free y/n. when i want something from you, and i do, i will come to collect.” he held your face in his hand as you asked, “what’s your name?” he smiled, “coriolanus, but you can call me corio.” and he held you to it.

every time you saw him he’d be unbelievably smug.

even your friends noticed, “he keeps staring at you, that peacekeeper.” you were having a night out, your senses flooded with music and laughter. but not too far away was coriolanus, downing his beer. you shifted around before slyly looking his way. “it’s probably nothing. you know how these peacekeepers are. i think i’m going to head home.” you kissed her cheek before making your way out and to your home.

you were only a few minutes away when you took notice of the shadow behind you, lurking. “y/n.” you stopped in your tracks and turned his way. “corio.” he grinned at the nickname you used. his expression should've warned you, his words rung through your mind.

an intoxicated man was a dangerous one.

"when i want something from you, and i do, i will come to collect."

corio held you against the shabby wall as his hands held you in place. your pants swamped at your ankles as he rutted into you harshly. “stay quiet for me yeah?” your hands shoved at his chest but it seemed to be pointless.

“please, please corio not here.” coriolanus couldn’t bring himself to listen to you, and he sure as hell didn’t care if someone saw. what were they going to do? you were his, you needed to realise that. the quicker you did the easier it would be for you. your cries and protests went in one ear and out the other, “shh, i’ve got you. don’t worry.” he cooed, ignoring your pleas.

you felt humiliated, treated like trash. taken in an alleyway like a whore, as coriolanus continued on. your legs felt like jelly and your weight rested on the wall behind. his hands came up to lower your shirt, your breasts spilling out. “fuck, you’re made for me. all mine.” he groaned as he felt your walls tighten around his cock.

“come for me baby. come on.” you didn’t want to, you wanted to run away from him but your breath was laboured as your head lolled back. but even with that he wasn’t done with you. he wanted more. he wanted all of you and he wouldn’t stop until he’d had enough. you weren’t sure if he’d ever get his fill.

your cheeks burned as you walked back to your home, cum-stained panties and shame filling you to the brim. acquaintances walked past, you smiled and waved with fake kindness. your feet dragged along, your legs shaky and hands trembling. you wanted to drag the walk out as long as possible.

coriolanus could tell, but he couldn’t do anything yet. so he grit his teeth and walked with determination.

he’d punish you later.

and it was all you knew. almost every night corio crawled into your home, took you all over the house till dawn. and in return you were able to provide your family with everything they could want.

dana has a cold?

the medicine was at the front door hours later.

peter hurt himself at the mines?

a first aid kit was ready to be picked up by noon.

not a single person around you was hungry, sick or uncared for. all thanks to coriolanus. your friends were able to infer where all your resources came from, but you’d never asked for their aid.

you just wanted to help them, in any way you could.

what you didn’t anticipate was coriolanus in your home, tossing your nicest clothes into a suitcase. the jewellery he’d bought, shoes etc. “what’s going on? why are you packing my things?” he didn’t respond, he just kept packing, moving around the room and throwing in things he deemed important.

“we’re leaving, back to the capitol. you’re coming with me, now help me pack.” you grabbed his wrist in a moment of anger, forgetting your place. “let. go. now.” he demanded as you retracted your hand, “i’m sorry. but, you need to talk to me. i’m not going to the capitol corio, this is my home.” you should’ve known he was going to hate your words.

he grabbed your wrists, fingers digging in as you cried out in pain. “you are coming with me, otherwise i am more than happy to hurt you. all the supplies for your friends? gone. you know i won’t hesitate to hurt them. so if you want them to be taken care of, you’ll listen to me. now pack your things and shut up.” he spit out as you pulled away from him.

you didn’t even get to say goodbye.

the capitol scared you to no extent. the prying eyes, the excessive, almost wasteful, wealth and resources. you felt uncomfortable in your own skin. the people of panem viewed you to be a rare phenomenon. as if darker skin was unattainable. it was nothing like district 12, and you knew you’d never fully fit in. but corio wouldn’t let that be.

coriolanus thrived under dr gaul. overtime he’d been provided with an apartment and inheritance courtesy of the plinths and he was happy to indulge his sweet girl with whatever she could wish for.

the most expensive silks, finest jewels. you felt like a little porcelain doll, with multiple faces. you were bound to crack.

by the time coriolanus snow rose to be the president of panem, all the fight in your body was a distant memory, a shell of your former self. "you have everything you could ever wish for," according to your husband, "but you still think of them." his words were filled with disdain but held an ounce of truth.

your heart yearned for home. for peters terrible cooking. for dana’s flower crowns. nights out with your friends singing your heart out before sneaking out to the lake a certain covey had let slip on. a simple life.

but it all felt to be out of your grasp, far in the back of your mind.

presidential campaigns, parties, shopping, and super rich kids with nothing but fake friends. it was all your new normal. the residents of panem tolerated you for being the first lady of panem, admired you for your looks, and despised you for your background.

you’d never felt more alone.

you found solace in your children. ciron, your baby boy. only five years old but undeniably bright. he was ahead of most children his age in studies, able to remember so much in such a small mind. he was the spitting image of coriolanus. the old coriolanus. curly blonde hair, striking blue eyes. but his kindness, his care for others? that was all his mother. he was the perfect mix, and a huge mommy’s boy. the second he learned something knew he rambled on about it, only to you. he loved to play with your hair, curling it around his fingers.

“now we match mommy!” he smiled as you picked him up, resting him on your hip. “now i’m almost as pretty as you baby.” you teased as you attacked him with kisses on his face. he squirmed in your arms, small hands coming to cover his face. the noise seemed to wake caroline, her squeals and cries echoing through the home.

“shh, we have to be quiet okay?” ciron nodded as the two of you made your way to her nursery. it was caroline’s first birthday today, and coriolanus had spared no expense on your account. the celebration was to be held at your home, filled with people who couldn’t care less. but you just wanted to give her what you never had. a party at the presidents house was rare, and a lot of the hadn’t seen you in a while.

caroline was all you. darker skin than ciron, olive like. brown eyes and dark hair.

during your pregnancy with ciron, coriolanus showed you off to the people. you were regularly seen out and about, at parties, shopping, walking etc. coriolanus took any opportunity to parade you about to the people of panem. something out of their reach but so sweet, so beautiful. you despised it, being seen as nothing more than his property.

“she’s a fine girl you have coriolanus.” grandma’am spoke as she pinched your cheeks, “just have to take the district out of her.” as if you were an animal to be dissected.

“are there any more of her type?” the man joked as coriolanus’s hand tightened on your waist.

you’d always loved yourself, your hair, your skin color, your body. but it all seemed to be under coriolanus’s ownership the second you’d allowed him to take you to the captiol. no one cared about you. no one bothered to help. they just admired and touched when they could.

so you’d plead with him, begging him to let you rest for the remainder of your pregnancy. he surprisingly agreed, letting you confine yourself to your shared room.

and with cirons birth, you felt hope. his wide eyes, consuming all he could with his sight, his tiny fingers wrapping around your finger. your heart swelled with joy at his face, your saving grace.

coriolanus wanted to pry him from your fingers. for the next few weeks your attention was purely on the boy and coriolanus began to feel neglected. he was already traumatised from his own mothers passing, his sister taking her life. with the announcement of your own pregnancy the thoughts poured in.

would the baby take you too?

would he be forced to listen to your screams?

would he have to raise the baby he despised?

he hadn’t even met your child yet and he'd already made his mind up. the baby was no good, an heir was needed of course but at the cost of his wife? would he pay the price?

your screams of agony and pain clawed at his throat. he felt sick, bile rising as he forced it down. coriolanus would not be seen as weak. but he couldn’t help himself, your hands clutched onto his as a lifeline. your pleas for aid, and coriolanus could do nothing. helpless.

the finest doctors in panem, machinery and medicine yet it all seemed useless.

to you it was worth it, the second you held him in your arms. all the pain in the world if it meant you’d have him as the outcome. one of the nurses placed a pair of scissors in his hands, urging him to cut the cord as coriolanus masked his disgust.

snip!

tigris cooed over the baby as lethargy hung over you like a cloud. “isn’t he the sweetest coriolanus?” all he managed was a nod, his focus on you.

his strong wife, who’d given way to new life. your eyes were fluttering close as you murmured, “ciron.” the doctors and nurses gleefully agreed, “what a fine name!” the head doctor announced as he held him in his arms, a nurse taking him away to be cleaned.

and after all that, you were pregnant once more. another child for the happy family but another nuisance in his eyes between yourself and him.

all you ever cared about was the kids.

“has caroline eaten?”

“is ciron awake?”

“is his teacher here yet?”

“coriolanus, i think we need to take ciron shopping again. he’s growing so quickly!” he knew he should’ve been happy. but all he wanted was for you to be his again. you were always too tired for him, already asleep with ciron by your side, taking his place.

or you were breastfeeding caroline, meaning that he was sure he wasn’t going to get to feel you up that night. too sore, too tired, not in the mood. he couldn’t catch a break.

-

you’d decided to have caroline and ciron match. baby blue, how sweet!

it’d only been about an hour in and you’d had enough. these people never really moved on. the same comments about how special you were, how lucky you were. compliments stuffed down your throat you were sure you’d gag.

you grounded yourself with caroline, clutching onto her as coriolanus made the rounds. “anna!” you shouted out to one of your servers. “yes, mrs snow?” you refrained from rolling your eyes at the last name, “bring the cake out, now please.” she wasn’t sure, “mr snow said-” you smiled at her, “caroline’s getting fussy, better if we blow the candles out now so i can feed her and get her to bed.” she scurried away to get everything in order as coriolanus found you.

“sweetheart. you can’t hide the birthday girl at her party.” you chuckled, “i know, i know. she’s getting tired, we’re going to have to get the candles out early. cirons already sleepy too, he worked really hard today. i’m so proud of him.” you beamed as coriolanus took a sip from his glass, “oh did he?” he sneered. you were about to reply but the cake being carried out took your attention. “look sweetie! it’s your cake!” caroline lifted her head from your shoulder as you pointed at it.

“come on corio.” he downed his drink before following along. maybe if he was nice you’d fuck him tonight.

the four of you were a picture perfect family, cameras shuttered as everyone sang for caroline. she rested on your side as ciron stood in front of coriolanus, his hands resting on his sons shoulders. a smile plastered on his face. “happy birthday to you!” you bent down with caroline to blow the candles out as everyone cheered.

for once, you felt happy.

you sat infront of caroline’s crib, rocking it side to side. it was around 12 now, the party packed up, ciron in bed sleeping soundly, and coriolanus in his study. it’d been a while since you and coriolanus had been together. your pregnancy with caroline was risky according to doctors and you were told to take it easy. it’d been at least two months since his last time with you, and god he needed release.

once you figured she was asleep you made your way to corios study. “corio? you busy?” you peaked your head through the door to find corio writing away. “come in.” you closed the door behind you as he rolled back in his seat, patting his lap as you plopped down.

“you want something?” you rested your head in the crook of neck, roses infiltrating your senses. “m’ tired, wanna sleep with you.” coriolanus was taken aback for once, in his eyes you’d deprived him of your presence for so long and here you were wanting for him. coriolanus would have to settle for now. he caressed your cheek, “alright, come on.” his arm lifted your legs and you interlaced your fingers behind his neck.

over your time with coriolanus you’d learned to like things about him, since there was no point in you hating him anymore. his voice in the night, whispering to you. his soft hands washing your hair. when he was relaxed, the two of you would bask in eachothers presence, reading silently. baths together, his hands raking through your hair, trailing over your body with care. and as the two of you slept together, in a tight embrace, coriolanus felt at ease.

his brown jewel, all to himself.

[madamechrissy]

Keep This Low Key

💜 Pairings: Choso x F!reader- and Gojo x reader- Rating: Explicit- MDNI

💜 Contents/Warnings: Remember this is a slow burn. You'll hate Cho in this and reader lol. In this chapter, blow jobs, sixty nine, kissing, fingering and play. Jealous angst. Warning- the reader and Choso are with other ppl (intimately- reader w/Gojo in this chap- cho w/Amber) They're idiots. Plz don't read if upset about this kind of thing, Cho and reader are NOT dating but still. HEAVY ANGST this chap like I cried writing it.

💜 Word Count: this chap - 10.8k (longest so far!)

💜 Summary: You have been Choso's best friend for years, and one night he has a date with Yuki, his girlfriend, while you have a date with Ino, your boyfriend, only for them both to break up with you at the same time! You all think of calling each other, but run right into each other. Choso brings you home since you didn't even have your car, and you two are crying over a couple beers and a silly movie, only to have a sudden idea. Why not say fuck dating, fuck heartbreak, and just fuck each other?

No drama, no mess, no upset, and you two are such good friends, nothing can go wrong, right? The only agreement is no feelings, and if you all find a s/o, you'll end things. But the moment Choso opens his heart to you, and the moment you start falling, things get messy, as you realize he's the best you've had, and you're falling hard. Will you all stay friends, become more, or will everything blow up?

✨️Comments and reblogs appreciated if you enjoy ✨️

Chapter Three 💜 Masterlist 💜 Playlist 💜

Chapter Four

Choso’s POV

Choso and you are out shopping at the mall, it’s been so long since you all have done this, used to be a frequent occurrence for you. You both walk into Hot Topic, you giggle at the memories in the dark store with the blaring emo music, fingers brushing against a black anime shirt as Choso starts looking at some of the black spiky bracelets on the racks.

“God, too many memories here.” He muses, looking at you with a little smile, you’re so pretty today, you’re just in some ripped jeans and a band tee, his band on you, more like how he remembers you. Though Choso adores each and every version of you over the many years, something is so sweet when you’re comfortable and casual with him like this.

“A lot of memories.” You agree, bending over then, those jeans are tight and form fitting, and the sight of your ass like this?

After he’d literally edged you a week ago, you all had done nothing but hang out, the entire time he’s constantly dying to taste you again, to touch you, but it seemed like you weren’t backing down, and neither was he. He feels horrible that you saw that kiss, the kiss that happened because the thought of you with Gojo had him feeling so petty, so stupid.

Now to think you saw him? How did it make you feel? How did Gojo make you feel, having left a bruise on your pretty neck, how did you like kissing him? The thoughts are destroying him, it’s as if you won’t leave his head, leave his every dream, he can practically taste you in his memories on his tongue. Like some drug he’s now addicted to but can’t have.

And you’re right there, but not there. You’re a little distant, and it breaks him, it confuses him, did you not want him anymore? Was Gojo in your head like high school, should he protect his heart? A million questions enter Choso’s already scattered brain while studying your delicate features, your pretty face that won’t leave his brain for even a second.

Sleeping with you had made every feeling from high school come back with a vengeance, and knowing Gojo is in the picture is torture, it’s as if you’re just out of reach, and now he knows that he hurt you too. After you all slept together and you had run, he’d been so upset, so worried about it, and you must have thought he had just dismissed what happened.

Choso jerked off before even coming to get you today, he’d hoped it would give him just a little clarity, but you fuck his mind up any which way. Just inhaling your scent when you hug him, that fruity shampoo you use, whatever body spray it is you’ve used since school days, takes over his senses, whatever he has left of them. Just feeling your warm body, your soft skin.

You walk up to him now, brushing against him, looking at the bracelets he’s completely forgotten about. “Those are so cool! You should get em, Cho bear.”

“You think so?” You nod, and he hums to himself, peeking over at them and snatching them up. “If you like them.”

“I do! Ugh we spent so much time here, oh and Spencers! We should go there next.” You giggle, the sound so pleasing to his ears, especially since you’ve been a little quiet and distant this week. He looks down at you, your eyes are glittering, you’re biting your lower lip.

“We will. What about this shirt, isn’t that your anime husbando?” You laugh at that, nodding. “Grab that one then. Oh, this skirt…”

“It’s too short!”

“Could wear it around me.” He says before he thinks better, and watches you blush all over as you do, down your neck and even your chest, while he holds up the little pink plaid skirt with chains.

“Wear it around you, why?” You finger the material, shyly looking down, Choso steps closer, leaning down and grabbing your hip, you suck in a breath, and he feels your body tense.

“Why wouldn’t I wanna see you in that? Die to see your pretty legs in it-” His phone starts ringing now, making him take a breath and a step back, you curiously look at it, lips tensing just a bit.

“Ah, is that the girlfriend?” You ask, putting the skirt on the wrack and turning away from him.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” He wants you as his girlfriend, god it’s not even a good enough word for what he really wants, but how does he even say it!? How can he ruin you being in his life, what if he’s not ‘manly’ enough for you, too? What if he’s not good enough!?

He gulps down his words as you turn back and look at it, ringing again. “Well you can answer it, I’m just your friend remember, no biggie.” Your words make him sick to his stomach, churning all around, sure it’s true but…

Fuck, it hurts.

He doesn’t even care for this girl either way, she’s some distraction, and she’s overtly distracting him. She’s a huge fan of his band and has been, so she’s quite annoyingly persistent. She’s sweet and very pretty, but god just look at you, at how beautiful you are just existing near him, in his orbit, pulling him in with that gravity you’re clueless of.

Having pushed you in the dark recesses of his mind for so long and forcing himself to see you as a best friend had been so difficult, but since your intimacy it’s become impossible. It’s as if you both opened some can of worms you really should not have, but now he’s dying to do it again, again, again.

He wants you to cum all over his cock again, fuck especially without the protection, so insane it had felt, the only time he had done so. He wants to fill you up full of his cum, watch it ooze out of your perfect little cunt, just to put more loads inside of you. You do something to him Yuki never did, no one ever has, it’s things he didn’t even know he craved.

“Cho, it’s three calls, answer.” You sound irritated then, Choso sighs.

“It’s rude.”

“It’s not, go ahead.” Choso steps out now, taking a breath of air and entering the busy mall right outside of the open Hot Topic doors.

“Hello?” He asks, he hopes he doesn’t sound rude, but he’s annoyed that she’s called so much.

“Choso! Oh my god, listen, I have such a good gig for you all. I just had to tell you!” Amber says, oh yeah that’s her name… Choso forgets, it seems the only name ingrained in his mind is yours now.

“Oh shit, what is it?” He asks, he’s excited for such an opportunity, Amber has a lot of connections as well, but he is looking at you as you’re making purchases, curious what you got yourself. The cashier is making eyes at you, but who wouldn’t?

“It’s at a huge venue for the rockfest coming up! They said they’d love to have you, but you will have to come meet them so we can register and prep. Are you down this afternoon?” Choso pauses, he’d promised you the day together, you both had wanted to do the mall, food and hit the movies.

But the rockfest is huge and the biggest event there is for discovering new rock bands, with heavy hitters everywhere. He’s absolutely sure Megumi and Yuji will lose their minds when he tells them. “That’s an insane opportunity, you don’t have to do all of this you know.”

“Of course I do, I believe in you. Also, I’d love to see you again.” Her voice drops a suggestive octave, you come out with a little smile now, standing next to him and poking around on your phone.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely be there. Can you shoot me a text with what time and where?”

“Sure thing, love. See you soon!” She hangs up now, and you frown a bit when Choso sighs.

“Everything okay?” You ask softly, a hand on his arm.

“Good news, she actually got me a gig opportunity at the rockfest coming up next week.”

“Oh my god that’s amazing!” You hug him, giggling, god you feel good against him. “I can’t wait! Listen I just bought you a bunch of bracelets and rings, you need new ones.”

You hand him the little bag to open, full of far too many of them, making him melt from such a cute gesture, you always do this when you two go shopping.  “No, don’t buy things for me!”

“They’re all cheap, silly.”

“But you didn’t get yourself anything.” He peers in the bag, you apparently decided against that skirt that would look so sexy on you. You usually don’t get yourself anything do you? You shrug a shoulder, smiling a bit.

“I’m good, Cho. I didn’t see anything that I needed. Um… ooh Spencers though, is that our next adventure? Oh my God, remember the adult section the first time we snuck in?” You ask, whispering conspiratorially, he laughs then, as the text pops up, and he sees he needs to be there in two hours.

“Shit, so the meeting is in two hours though.” You blink a bit.

“With your… blond friend?”

“Amber, yeah.”

“Amber.” You murmur. “Oh then… I guess get me home so you can get ready.” You start heading away, and Choso grabs your arm then.

“No, we can hit at least one more store!”

“No, you need to get dressed, get there… I definitely don’t want to delay a big opportunity for something-” His phone goes off again, and it’s a selfie of Amber, sticking her tongue out and in a bustier that hides nothing, saying she can’t wait to see him, and he watches your face fall as your eyes hit the screen.

“I don’t know why she’s sending selfies, it really is for the band I-”

“No need to explain. It’s cool.” You walk further, and he senses it, you’re upset, and what do you do when upset?

Run from him.

Choso catches up with you, his hand grabbing yours, and you stare at it for a moment, before looking back up at him, emotion making your eyes glassy, breaking his heart then, his chest feels like something is squeezing it, his throat closing up. But what you say and how you look at him don’t match, they don’t compute, and he doesn’t know how you feel.

“Come with me then! I would love it if you were there, and we can still spend the day.” He offers, but you gently pull your little hand out of his grip, walking out of the doors now, heading toward where he parked.

“No, it’s important shit. And she’d like you to herself I am sure, sounds… awkward I don’t know, spending time with you and her.” Choso runs to open the passenger door before you can touch the handle. “Thanks, Cho.”

The ride is quiet, far too fucking quiet, and when he puts a hand on your thigh over the denim, you just stare out the window quietly. There’s music playing but all he can hear is his heart racing, worrying he’s messed something up again, worrying about you and your feelings, confused and feeling like he just doesn’t know what the fuck he’s really doing.

“Am I fucking up our friendship?” He asks, and you look at him then, hand coming on top of his, exhaling.

“No, never. I’m sorry, I’ve been a little in my head.” He nods, looking at the road, feeling your fingers brush his knuckles, he nears your home which is spo close by, he’s been here a million times, it’s like clockwork to go there.

“We can always talk, you know.” He says, you just nod a bit, putting on a fake smile, he knows it’s fake, because that genuine one you just had at the mall has now completely vanished.

“It’s just in my head I think, my… thoughts.” After some more quiet, you both pull up. He tilts his head, leaning close as you unsnap your seatbelt.

“I’m always here. I’ll make it up to you, we can go out tonight to grab a bite to eat you think?”

“I’m sure she’ll want to. Don’t worry.” Your face is tight, your voice quiet,

“But I want to spend time with you. I miss you.”

“Cho, we just spent time…”

“I miss you.” He says again, you falter, when he leans close, cupping your face in his big tattooed hand, thumb brushing on your jaw.

“You want a good luck blowjob huh.” You tease, but your words are serious, he can feel them.

“A good luck kiss, only if you want to.” He murmurs, eyeing your plump lower lip, glossy as you run your tongue across them.

“You wanna kiss me?” He wants to laugh at that, how the fuck do you think he doesn’t always want to kiss you? Not just during sex, during any moment. “Thought it was just when we want to fuck.”

“Well do you even want to kiss me?”

“Of course I do.” You rest your forehead against his, leaning close, your noses just barely touching. “I’m aching for you.”

“Then why the distance?” His eyes lock on yours, pulling back, trying to study your beautiful face for some clue.

“I just thought I was being too much, and how you left things…”

“I’m sorry, I was being an ass. Edging your perfect pussy that way.” You exhale, leaning further, as his hand slips up your thigh, gripping your ass, pulling you further towards him, you let out this sexy little cry. “Let me make it up to you tonight, please… I’ll make you feel so good.”

“If we kiss and don’t… aren’t we breaking a rule?” You ask, and he wonders at these idiotic rules, were they so he didn’t fall for you?

They were failing.

“A prelude to tonight then.”

“You can kiss Amber though.” He scowls now. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, I’d love to kiss you, I love your lips, that tongue ring.” Your little fingers drift across them. “But just being honest, especially after that picture, she’s pretty hot you know.”

Choso glares more, tilting your chin up to look at him, as the car softly hums and he’s pressing you against him as much as he can in his little car. “I asked if I could get a kiss from you. You. Not her.”

You lean up, brushing your lips against his gently, pulling back and then leaning in again, another sweet brush, that destroys him then, his mind turns to complete mush as he feels the sensation of your lips. He exhales, dragging you onto his lap before he can think better, hands cupping your face and kissing over and over, as you press against his lap.

“Fuck you taste so good.” He murmurs, sweet like some sort of cherries, you whine out now, straddling him in tight jeans, your heat pressing against his clothed cock, making his cock strain from just that.

“Cho…” You whimper now, rolling your hips, kissing him messier, more desperate now, tongue all sloppy as you play with his hair with teasing fingers. Choso’s hands find purchase against the nip at your waist, pressing into your ribcage and earning a little sigh of pleasure when he gently presses you down more. “Mnh.”

“Lemme get you off, please.” You shake your head, taking a breath and leaning back.

“It’s fine, I’m fine- ah!” Choso’s grinding you against him, tip of him pressing against your folds, watching your eyes roll back, hair falling like a curtain as your back arches, he slides up your shirt, revealing a black lacy bra over your perfect tits, he begins to lavish your nipples one by one.

“Pretty titties… perfect little angel.” He watches you melt, your hands enwrapping in his long hair he wore loose today, manicured nails barely pressing against his scalp, just like when he’d drunk your juices out of your pussy last week.

“Please.” Is all you manage to whisper, Choso eagerly grinds you more against him, your breath catching, hot sticky wetness gathering on your panties when his fingers slip under the waistband of your jeans, he groans as he feels you. “Please, Cho… need you.”

“I need you to cum for me.” He presses his thumb on your clit, feeling your damn and sticky underwear, your slick drooling, he watches as your eyes dilate, and you keep grinding on his hard cock, that’s desperate to slide inside you.

His phone rings as you’re kissing him again, and he goes to turn it off on his car screen, only for Amber’s voice to ring out in the car, making you halt. “Cho, did you get the address love?”

You freeze now, he watches everything shift as you do, you quickly hop off his lap, zipping yourself up with shaky hands. “Yes I have it, Amber I’m busy-”

“You’re not busy.” You whisper, and Choso’s mouth drops open when you rush out of the car, he gets out and follows you right to your porch, you turn and shake your head with a fake smile. “Go, Cho. Tell me how it goes.”

“Will you stop running!? All the time!” He grabs your shoulders, and you can still hear her voice from the car, looking at it and then back at him.

“You’re confusing me. You say one thing and do another.”

“What!? What do you even mean?”

“You’re clearly very close, love, getting damn near naked pics, calling you three times in a row, then calling again?”

Choso scowls now. “And you and Gojo?”

You snort, rolling your eyes. “I haven’t talked to him since you edged me last week, I thought you were mad, I thought you… wanted me… to…”

You’re tearing up now, breaking Choso into pieces as he watches you, so fragile. He tries to cup your face but you push him away, sniffling now. “Please, please don’t cry, just talk to me. I thought you were still talking to him?”

“No! Because I thought you were wanting to be more. But I’m a fucking idiot oh my god. I’m just some fun distraction.”

“What do you mean, I thought you wanted just friends? You-”

“And we will be just friends. I won’t do that again.” You swipe at your eyes, and Choso’s heart breaks as it beats even.

“You’re always confusing me-”

“No, no it’s you who is confusing this. Acting like you think I’m so beautiful, making me feel that way, special. You shouldn’t do that to casual fucks.”

“You are beautiful, so beautiful god why can’t you see this? You are special, more special than almost anyone in my life. I don’t know how you think you’re not. Fuck this let me push this off-”

“No. It’s important. Even if I’m upset I’d never put your music off.” You take a shaky breath, kissing his cheek. “Amber’s upset. Go, and good luck.”

“Please, angel-” You shut the door quickly, rushing in your home, Choso’s hand is pressed on the door, leaning his head on it. “Please, let me in, let me talk to you. You’re wrong, I swear you are.”

You say nothing, Choso tries to knock, feeling emotions catch in his throat, but you say nothing, he can faintly hear a cry from there, pushing him to feel even worse. You weren’t even talking to Gojo!? And here he was, he’s been texting and calling Amber this entire time, but you…

“Please. Just talk to me, or I won’t go.” You open the door, tears streaking your cheeks.

“You’re being petty.”

“Yeah, I am.” He swipes the emotion from his eyes.

“Go, I want you to, I’m f-fine. I just… I thought we… just go.” Choso steps in, cupping your face again, thumbs brushing the apples of your cheeks. “Don’t do that, don’t look like that at me. We are only friends.”

Choso scoffs now. “I want you to cum on my face, on my cock, I want you moaning and writhing under me.” He presses you against the doorway, feels your desire with your every breath, but you shake your head, pushing on him.

“It hurts too much. I thought I could, but I can’t separate it. It’s too much for me, the desire… the feelings.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

Choso blinks in surprise. Could you possibly have some feelings for him!? Was it more than… “Feelings?”

“Cho, go. I’ll be fine.” You kiss his cheek now, how you used to, Choso gulps down the emotions.

“I can’t leave you like this.”

“I’m your friend. That’s it. We’ll do food and movies another day, yeah?” You gently push him out your door, smiling tremulously. “I think I’m PMSing, I don't know. I’m cool if you talk to her, fuck her whatever. Just tell me I guess.”

“Fuck her?”

“It’s cool, I swear. Go kill it, Cho bear.” You shut your door, he hears your lock click this time, your steps echoing.

He feels like a part of him is ripped in half in your absence, driving with no music, your sweet scent lingering in his car, your tears lingering in his mind. He had you in his lap, on his lips, isn't this what you both wanted, to have sex with no complications… but there are more and more complications every moment. And he left you there, to cry, sure you told him to leave, but this gnawing instinct makes him wish he had stayed.

Your POV

You see Cho and Amber on Instagram a couple hours later, with two huge Rockstars from popular bands that are running the show. You want to be so happy for him, and sure you are, but his hand on Amber's waist makes you ill, the way her hand is on his chest!? You can't stomach it.

You keep checking, wondering if Choso would message you. Call you. But the only messages are from Utahime and Satoru Gojo, who you've ignored ALL fucking week, waiting on Cho to make a move, only for him to have been clearly talking to this girl very regularly.

Sweet Cho Bear may be great as a friend and superb at fucking, but he seems to be the worst thing that could have happened to your mind. The way he so casually hurts you and puts you second is damn near debilitating, you’re tired of crying in your bed over him, when he was once the one who would comfort you, who would hold you while you cried over a boy.

Now Cho is that boy, and you're a whole idiot. You still can’t even process exactly what it is you’re feeling, was it just how good Choso made you feel? Is that all this was, a confusion from lack of experience, and his stupidly good skills? Or is it the moment you kiss him, and want nothing more than to lose yourself in him, when you feel his heartbeat against you…

When you call Utahime back on Facetime, she gasps when she sees you in tears. “Was it Gojo? Imma kill him.”

“No, no… it’s Cho.”

“Choso, what’d that sweet boy do!?”

“Ugh.” You take a breath, setting Utahime down on your dresser, deciding to start putting on makeup to hide your tired eyes and tear streaked face. “He’s got this girl, Amber, I saw them kiss.”

“Shit… but you all are friends with benefits not…”

“Yeah, I know. But ‘Hime, I felt so special, the way he looks at me.” You’re sniffling, and then you peek at Amber’s IG, poking around, jaw setting when on her Instagram she’s kissing Choso’s cheek. “Look at this.”

You send it to her, Utahime’s eyes narrow. “Okay no, that’s… I thought he didn’t wanna date? Wasn’t that the point?”

“Right, nothing serious. But she called him four times in one outing, fuck she came through the car bluetooth and cockblocked me.”

“Shit. Babe maybe no more sex, before you ruin your friendship, I’d hate you two not being friends.”

“I know, I know. I told him no more, I don’t think he got it though, he seems to say one thing and do another, and I’m just tired. And as for Gojo, I blew him off all week because I misread what Choso meant.”

“Well it’s still fuck Gojo till it’s backwards- and I don’t mean actually fuck him.” You snort.

“You just hate him.”

“Sure do.”

“But I’m feeling petty, and horny. And mad as fuck. Am I immature?” Utahime sighs.

“You and Choso both are naive little babies I think. Have you tried telling him how you feel?”

“He doesn’t feel that way, clearly. Look.” You send another pic now, one that Choso and Amber are tagged in, with the group of people preparing press for the show, Choso looks so fucking good, despite the girl clinging to him.

“Ah. Babe if you fuck Gojo I’ll come smack you I know this hurts but…”

“I’m not gonna fuck him, ‘Hime. Just maybe hang out and take an Insta pic and post it.” She smirks as you do.

“You petty ass bitch.”

“Bitch!”

“Fine. You have my blessing to be petty, but no dick.”

“Yes mommy.” You feel so much better, sighing. “Come see me when you get in tomorrow, please!”

“I will. Love you.” You disconnect the phone, peering at it to see if Choso has said any fucking thing to you, but you imagine he’s busy. He posts about the event, tagging Yuji and Megumi.

Nice to know the support you’ve always given him isn’t shit compared to a new pretty fan with connections. You yank off his band shirt, throwing it across the room, when Satoru’s text comes in.

Jock Gojo- you can’t stay angry at me I’m too pretty.

You find yourself giggling, rolling your eyes.

You- I’m not even angry, just had a lot on my mind.

Jock Gojo- Let me fuck your brains out then?

You- Nvm fuck you actually.

Jock Gojo- You’re punishing me :’( for being a dick on prom.

You snap off your bra, giggling a bit when he calls.

“What’s up?” You ask, popping him on speaker.

“Thinking about this mean girl, she was a nerd goodie goodie. She has a really nice ass…”

“Stop it!” You burst out laughing, slipping off your jeans now.

“Whatchya wearing?”

“Just panties right now.” You hear him exhale.

“You’re trying to kill me.” The flattery is getting you, especially feeling so damn inadequate with Choso right now.

“I am sorry I blew you off, it wasn’t you though. Do you wanna… I don’t know, catch up?” You’re digging through your closet now, tilting your head as you peer at the bevy of dresses you’ve bought for when you were with Ino.

“I’d love that. Are you free tonight? We can grab something to eat, see a movie… I dunno whatever you want. You can suck my dick in the theater!?” You snort again at him, rolling your eyes.

“You’re ridiculous, Satoru. But… yeah I’m down to go out. A movie doesn’t sound bad at all.” That’s what you and Choso were supposed to do, see the new Star Wars movie that’s out.

“It’s a date then. Wear something easy-access.”

“Oh whatever, you’re so dumb.” He laughs softly, the sound is always pleasing, Satoru’s voice is pleasing altogether with its deep timbre. “What time?”

“Well what movies are out?”

“Star Wars!”

“Nerdy ass. Fine.” You giggle now.

“I was supposed to go with Cho but he’s… got this girl and also a whole gig going for the band. We can see something else though?”

“I don’t mind. Alright I’ll pick you up in an hour?”

“Sure.” You both hang up, you keep looking through your wardrobe until you come upon a cute plaid skirt, similar to what Choso wanted you to buy, but this hit mid thigh versus exposing all of your ass.

The thoughts make your cheeks heat up, then your tummy clench, how he’d just been kissing you, touching you. For him, you suppose, he truly could be a friend with benefits, but you fail at it completely, and though you certainly don’t plan on fucking Gojo, you’re curious at things.

Could you feel good with someone else?

“Hey sweets… I need all this candy.” You and Satoru are checking into the movie, his hand resting at your waist.

“They overprice the candy!”

“I’m rich, I don’t care.” Satoru buys a copious amount of candy and then two giant slushies, amusing the fuck out of you.

“Is one for me?” You ask teasingly.

“No way.” He hands you a slushie and you have to admit you feel a little giddy and excited, which is lovely after feeling so down earlier. Satoru is basically a big damn kid and his energy is infectious. You’re shoving thoughts of Choso way down when Satoru nudges you as you all walk toward the theater.

You take a sip of your slushie, looking at him curiously. “What?”

“Your friend, yeah?” You blink and see him then, holding hands with her, in line to check in for a movie at the opposite side of the theater.

So…

Choso blew you off, didn’t see a movie with you and is instead with Amber, and isn’t even seeing Star Wars!??!

“Hey buddy!”

“Satoru no…” You hiss but he’s waving with a box of candy. Choso looks at him curiously, then at you, his jaw tensing, Amber bounces over, looking at Satoru and then you with a pretty grin.

“Oh damn, I guess I don’t have to worry about you, dating this hottie.” She clings to Choso and winks at Satoru, you feel sick to your fucking stomach, the one gulp of that drink you took making you want to now vomit.

“We’re not dating yet, she’s mean to me. And she’s a nerd and was dying to see Star Wars. You now pew pew pew.” Satoru starts acting like his candy is a lightsaber, you’d be laughing if you didn’t wanna punch your own friend in the face.

“Can we talk for a minute?” Choso asks, and you shrug, stepping aside and touching Satoru on the shoulder gently, earning Choso’s anger directed right at you.

“Be back?”

“Sure thing.” Satoru says.

Choso and you step aside just a bit, laugh without humor. “You’re not even seeing it? Even if you didn’t wanna go with me, you are seriously missing it altogether?” You ask quietly, and Choso shakes his head quickly, glaring over at Gojo.

“You said you didn’t want to go out tonight, remember? I wanted to go with you after.” His words are soft, as Satoru and Amber start giggling about something.

“Because it’d apparently be me as a third wheel. Damn.” You scoff, and Choso steps up to you closer, his violet eyes glossy with worry.

“I thought you were done with-”

“Yeah the Instagram pictures made me realize maybe I need to move on from whatever the fuck this is.” You hiss the words quietly, Choso steps back, hurt clear on his face.

“I wrote you.”

“You didn’t-”

“I did!”

You pull out your phone, seeing his several texts now, but you were so mad you put him on mute. You gulp, scrolling through as he repeatedly asks you out to eat, as he asks if you’re home, as he asks if you’re upset with him. You see sad emojis and heart emojis and ‘angel’ please messages, making you feel a pit in your stomach, but where had these been all day?

“Ah, well I didn’t see, but whatever. Have fun.” You turn to step away, and Choso gently touches your hand.

“You’re mad when you’re here with him?” He asks, and it’s your turn to narrow your eyes at him.

“I blew him off a week for some dumb idea that maybe you wanted to date.” You whisper, and he blinks, opening his mouth, but you hold up your hand. “This was a huge mistake, though you’re a great friend, I can’t just fuck you, I felt too much.”

“You think I don’t feel things for you? You think you aren’t in my mind?” He leans low, and you step back to breathe.

“If we want to stay friends we can never do it again.” Choso’s eyes get wide, you watch his lip tremble just slightly.

“Do you not want me anymore?” He asks, and you shake your head, disbelieving he can’t notice what he does to you when he’s touching you.

“I wanted you too much. I was stupid, not you, you’re great at it, at sex… at being unaffected, nonchalant. At doing your thing. I am the one that couldn’t do it. So we should forget it all, every bit.” You hate the words spilling from your lips, but you know they’re necessary.

“Forget it?” You nod now, trembling as you stand there, your heart pounding out of your damn chest. “How can I forget you in that way, your taste, your lips on mine… your body? How your back arches as I’m making you cum?”

His words make your mind flit with images, you shake your head, shutting your eyes and pushing them away as much as you can. God just with words he fucked you up. “You’d had to forget it when you and Amber fuck anyway, so work on it.” Choso gasps softly, his handsome face falling.

“So it meant nothing.” Choso’s words are broken, but it’s just not fair to say it like that, it’s not fair to do this to your heart, you know him and have known him, so you know it’s not intentional. But it doesn’t make it hurt less.

“It meant too much.” You step away then, putting on a little smile, walking back to Gojo and putting your arm in his as you look at Amber, who’s clinging to Choso when he walks back up. “I hope you guys have fun, can’t wait for the concert.”

“You should bring him!” She pokes at Gojo with a giggle.

“I think I will.” Choso glares at you, the look of fucking death, and you get some small satisfaction that you shouldn’t.

You’re done being dickmatized by your best friend, you’re done falling for him so fast and so hard, you’re done with all the feelings that have been driving you since Senior year of high school pooling at once. When he’d let you know so casually he was in love with Yuki, and if he’d wanted you all this time, why did he never make a move?

“Sounds good man I love to see ya play.” Satoru is so unbothered, you wish you could have a teeny bit of that yourself.

“Appreciate it. Have fun, angel.” He says to you now, right in front of both of them in a soft tone, you catch his eyes and feel every emotion, you feel the weight of such simple words, like he’s claiming you his, like he’s telling you so much more without saying it truly.

“Have fun Cho bear.” You say with a bright smile, so fake, and you can tell he knows it’s fake by his frown, but Amber is tugging him away.

“So… he was the fuck buddy.”

“Satoru!” You smack at him, he just smirks, shaking his head.

“It’s obvious.”

You sigh, handing the usher your tickets as you and Choso walk your separate ways, as you always have you suppose, it was foolish to think so much would change from a couple of experiences. He was so in love with Yuki he was about to buy her a fucking ring, of course he was upset that night, and it had been you who brought it up, not him.

You caused this.

“I’m sorry maybe I should’ve told you?”

“Nah, we’re on date number two, and I told you I have regulars. Not that I’ve been with them all week.” You raise your brows in surprise, Satoru pops down in the theater, with big recliner seats, you both settle in and ease back.

“Oh? Actually, me either.” Satoru slurps on his drink, sticking out his tongue now and making you laugh softly as the lights dim.

“Blue! Like my balls after our date.”

“Oh god.” You shake your head, and you picture it, Choso next to you so fucking excited, the both of you have seen every single Star Wars movie absolutely ever, this was the first he’s missing.

You can’t even be mad at him, Amber is pretty, clingy and not in a friend zone like you. If you both were meant to be, wouldn’t you have by now? But your mind drifts to him, missing him though you’ve seen him all day, but it’s Satoru Gojo sitting next to you, annoyingly whispering every time a character pops up, asking who the hell any of them are.

But it’s not annoying then, it’s nice. You could be alone, and not with a handsome, tall white haired little shit, your first kiss. Satoru could have been your first everything, but of course you weren’t ready back then. He has a big hand on your bare thigh, thumb brushing against your skin in little circles, as he’s popping candy into his mouth, making you wonder at his metabolism.

“Who’s that!? Is that yoda?” You giggle quietly, leaning on him.

“Grogu. It’s like a baby yoda.”

“It’s cute! I want one.” You nod in agreement.

“So cute, right? He’s actually old though.”

“Explain, I’m so interested.” His fingers slide higher, making you tremble now, you take several breaths, as they dance against your skin, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touches.

“Are you now?” You find yourself leaning against him, kissing a little trail up his cheek and ear, his fingertips press into the plush of your thigh as you do, that little shitty guilty feeling gnawing at even that.

And why?

You and Choso were friends and you yourself had said ‘no attachments, no emotions, no drama’ and couldn’t make it past three times fucking him (and two ridiculous times of him eating you out… fuck it makes you clench thinking of it) and you caught feelings. It’s pathetic that it happened so fast for you, but how could someone not fall for Choso Kamo? He certainly doesn’t even comprehend the effects he has on people.

“Mmm…” Satoru’s little breathy cry does something to you, as do his fingers brushing higher when you nip on his earlobe, before turning your eyes back to the movie and holding his hand. “Fuck.”

He leans to you now, kissing a trail up your neck, you all are not surrounded by anyone at all where you are and hidden mostly in the recliners, you let your eyes flutter shut when he kisses your neck, when his tongue laps out at your skin, and he’s slipping the hand up further. You’ve been edged twice this week, you can’t help but shift your hips closer.

Satoru kisses you lazy and sensually, biting your lower lip between his teeth, then lapping his tongue along it, cupping your face, you’re enjoying his kisses, the butterflies he stirs even after years. Satoru may have been an asshole back in high school, but he was a hell of a distraction right now, especially when he’s rubbing you over lacy panties.

“You’re gonna distract me from… the…” You’re trying to keep in your little cry, biting your lip when he presses on your clothed clit, finding you damp and sticky, he exhales against your ear now.

“You’re so wet, though. Need me to take care of you?” He asks, you tense then just a bit, but your body reacts, getting wetter and wetter with his practiced circles, he slips his fingers under them now, finding your bare pussy.

“Not saying so.” He laughs, kissing you again, you cry out ever so softly into his lips, hips rolling as his finger teases your entrance.

“She says so.” You lose yourself for a moment, before getting a bit of a clear head, realizing where you all are, he slips a finger inside your slick walls, you clench around the invasion of it, long and sinking deep. “Fuck you’re tight.”

“We shouldn’t here, though.” He pouts in the dark theater.

“You’re mean to her.” He sucks on his finger now, and the sight of Satoru’s pouty lips licking your arousal fucks you up, your brain short circuits for a minute. “You’re as sweet as these candies, fuck.”

“You do go on.” You kiss yourself off him now, before shifting your skirt down a bit, blushing in the darkness. “Okay I need a sec.”

“Gotta play with your pussy?”

“Shush!” You sneak past him, he’s grinning all handsome, and for a moment you think, fuck this is nice, and maybe you could forget this feeling for Choso.

Until you walk by him heading out of the bathroom.

You turn away, and he’s calling your name softly. “What?”

“Can we talk tonight, please?” He asks, standing just a little away from you, the theater is empty as everyone is nestled inside each show, just a person or two walking across.

“What’s there to talk about?” His dark brows lower.

“You really don’t ever want to again? To feel that again?” He cups your chin in his hand, tilting your gaze up to him, to your sweet best friend that currently makes your mind haywire.

“Of course I do. But it means more to me than it does to you.”

“How do you even know that? Have you asked me?”

“I can clearly see, each time we do something you have no problem being with another girl.”

“We haven’t-”

“It doesn’t matter. We won’t again, go enjoy your movie Cho bear.”

“I hurt you.” His words make you pause, you shake your head quickly. “I have hurt you, I can tell it. Written all over your beautiful fucking face.”

“Don’t say shit like that. I’m trying to get over you.” He blinks in confusion, you turn away and he follows you in the damn bathroom. “Choso, seriously, leave me the fuck alone.”

“Get over me? Get over what, being my friend?” You lean against the sink, looking at him exasperatedly.

“I’m still your friend. I always will be. It was a mistake, everything.” You hate that the tears are back.

“How was that a fucking mistake? Feeling you cum around my cock like that, drinking you up?” You whine pathetically when his hands are cupping your face, and he’s bent so low. “No way it’s normal to feel that.”

“So what, you’re saying I’m good in bed? Thanks Cho, so are you, but we can’t do it. I can’t hurt like this. Now go.”

“So you can be with Gojo?” You shove him then, you shove sweet ass Choso Kamo, your best friend, and he looks at you, shocked.

“So you can be with Amber. Funny, I couldn’t in years do shit like she could for your band. Good pick.” Choso steps back up, his hands now on your waist, big strong hands that you wonder at, how much could he throw you around if he tried, if he’d have more chances.

Hands that simultaneously drive you with need and drive you to insanity, god you wish you never knew how good it was. “I want you.”

“What, now that you see me with someone? All week you haven’t said or done shit. I’m not a game.”

“I’m not playing a game.”

“You may not know it, but you are. And my mind is the fucking victim.” Choso slams his lips on yours now, not the sweet way he kisses, no it’s brutal, it’s so different, you cry out, clinging to him, before pulling back and gasping. “I said no more of this.”

“Say it, that you don’t want me to. That you don’t feel this.” You’re shaking now, as his hand comes over yours, your eyes shut with the overwhelming sensations he’s fucking you up with, the way his big hand entwines with yours, and now your lips are tingling from him.

“It hurts too much to see you with her.”

“What do you think it’s like for me?”

“It’ll ruin us if we do it again.” Choso rests his forehead on yours. “I wanted you to choose me, just once.”

“What!?” You step away then, finally able to breathe, rushing out. “You told me to go, I wrote you-”

“Just because I said to, doesn’t mean I meant it.” You watch the hurt and confusion, making you feel like shit. “I fucked up asking you to do this. Blame me, it wasn’t your desires or ideas. Please, have fun, and forget any of this.” You put a hand on his shoulder, hating when a tear falls.

But you can’t let him keep hurting you like this, building your hopes up just to shatter them the fuck down, even if he’s so sweet he doesn’t know, or doesn’t mean to do it. You have to pull back, even as he’s trying to pull you close, and you watch him bite his lower lip.

“Let’s both leave right now.” He says huskily, you shake your head.

“It’s a terrible idea. I’ll fall more.”

“Fall? You’re…”

“Forget it, please. I don’t want to lose you in my life, but if we go any further, I won’t be able to pull back.”

“What if I don’t want you to?” You inhale and exhale, before turning away and walking back into the theater, trying to forget the hurt look on his face.

It’s not much longer that you certainly forget that sad look on his face, when you’re walking out into the chilly night and Satoru throws an expensive jacket over your shoulders. When you see Choso in his car with his head tilted back, and you worry, is he devastated, have you made a terrible decision? What if he truly did feel things for you-

Then you see Amber pop her head up, giggling.

Oh.

Oh.

She kisses Choso, he is presumably kissing his fucking cum off her lips, you feel your heart beat erratically, walking past with Satoru then, of course you have the shit luck that they parked right across from you all. Satoru comes to open the door when Choso’s eyes lock on yours, and his panicked face says everything you needed to know.

He never loved you, he never even cared, if so how could he so casually profess one thing while doing the absolute opposite? He rushes out of the car, and Satoru’s pretty blue eyes narrow a bit when he’s standing right in front of you, and you look down to see his pants unbuttoned just a bit.

You told him just friends, it appears he’s taken it seriously.

Were you some stepping stone for Choso’s hoe era?

“Your button.” You say softly, he hastily buttons it, and Satoru snorts now.

“Nice man, car blow job?”

“Can you shut the fuck up.” You glare, and Satoru’s chuckling, completely unbothered, Choso’s hands are clenching into fists.

“Gonna be mean to him? For what?”

“He left you at prom-”

“We were seventeen. It’s in the damn past. Your girl is pouting by the way, pay her some attention.” You say now, slipping into the car.

“I need to explain things to you.” He murmurs, leaning close, and you just sigh, shaking your head. “It’s not what you think, and you said just friends.”

“Yep. Just friends. Bye now, Cho bear.” You shut your door, Satoru puts an arm around you as he revs up the car, and you lean in, kissing him deeply.

“Mmm, I like petty you.” He teases, you snort, burying your face in his neck. “Can I get a car blow job too?”

“Oh drive, Gojo, jesus.” He’s laughing, pulling you against him as you all leave the parking lot, you could swear you feel his eyes on you, but you really are past fucking caring.

Maybe dick is really what you need to get over him?

Choso’s POV (A few minutes earlier)

“No, you shouldn’t…” Choso’s struggling to pull Amber off him, her mouth is latched on his neck, hand stroking his cock, visions of you flitting in his mind, of you telling him you don’t even want to be intimate again. That you made a mistake of being with him.

It makes him feel horrible, did he take advantage of you in some way!? He’s so clueless of these things, he’d tried to text you over and over before he agreed to go to this movie, and then when he saw you with Satoru!? Fuck it hurt, but he’s pushed you there, you were upset and he shouldn’t have left.

You say one thing and mean another, how can he read you, how can he understand you? How can he just go back to friendship, fuck you all were so dumb for this, completely underestimating what would be there. He kissed Amber once, and it was nothing like kissing you, her body against his and lips now are just no comparison, when he had your sweet lips.

Your moans.

Your breaths.

The way you…

Fuck now he’s thinking of your body, gorgeous, your smooth skin, every curve and line he wants to devour, all while Amber is stroking his cock. He knows you’re probably going to be with Gojo, have you already done things? He sees visions of Gojo fucking you, on your hands and knees maybe, your ass arched in the air, with his experience is he so much better?

Will you cum for him like you do Choso, will he get to drink up those juices from your perfect plump little pussy? Will he have you fingers gripping his hair, those blunt nails pressing against his scalp, your slick heat enwrapping him? Amber giggles since now Choso is completely hard, even though he’s upset, the thought of you like that makes him go insane with need.

To claim you, to make you his. But you want nothing to do with him, he’s fucked it all up somehow, and he truly doesn’t know how to make it right, how to say the words out loud that are eating him alive. How to say how much he’s falling for you, how amazing you are, how he dreams of you…

“Lemme take care of you, Choso.” Amber cooes, and Choso feels terrible, guilty as fuck, but why? You two aren’t together, now he doesn’t even get to kiss your perfect lips again. You don’t want to anymore, because of him.

You weren’t together, just friends you both said.

But you’re not just his friend.

Before he knows it, so lost in thought, Amber is undoing his pants, he pulls her hair now, earning her moan. “No, no! No, shit… sorry for pulling your hair, but… y-you can’t. Shouldn’t- mmm!”

Choso whines out and gasps when she takes his length in her mouth, swirling her tongue and humming. “Mmm, you’re fucking huge.”

“Please don’t do that, get up-ah.” She sucks so hard, he bucks up, his hand accidentally shoving her further by some stupid instinct, she’s bobbing up and down him, clearly an insane level of experience. Sucking him up like a vacuum, swallowing his cock whole down her throat, her long nails digging into his jeans, pressing against his thighs.

He leans his head back, he’s been as edged as you this week, and it does feel good, if you ignore the sinking in his stomach, when his eyes come to focus, and you’re by the car right across from him, Gojo’s jacket on your shoulder. You look right at him for a moment, and he panics, as Amber giggles, leaning up now.

“You’re the biggest guy I’ve sucked, fuck you’ll feel good in me.” Choso immediately zips up his pants, running out of the car, and when he sees you, he knows then.

Shoulders slumped down.

Eyes glossy and glittering.

Lips set in such a tense line.

He knows it, then, you won’t forgive this, in his desperation to explain, you have no care to hear, you’re so withdrawn he doesn’t even know if you’ll be his friend, and how could he blame you? Begging you to be with him, only for you to see something like that, and now you’re kissing Satoru right in front of him, knocking the wind out of his body.

He almost collapses as you drive away, numb and mindlessly going through the motions, you must think he is a liar, you must think you were right, he’d hurt you, truly hurt you. You’ve been his rock for so long, so important to him, so important to even his little brother, like family for so long, now he’s going to lose you, and now he know everything he’s losing.

Choso: Please, please it’s not what you think. Angel…

Read.

Choso: I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, it wasn’t what you think, and… I think of you. I think of you constantly, always.

Nothing.

Choso: Cuss me out, do something, say something. Please, I understand if you hate me forever, but this wasn’t intentional, and I’m confused, I don’t know what we are, I don’t know what to do.

Read, and nothing.

You read each single one and say nothing in response, Choso drops Amber off with a faint good bye, he doesn’t kiss her, he barely talks to her, she’s babbling away but his heart is being ripped from his chest. If you hadn’t already done things with Gojo, surely you would now, and what if he is so much better than Choso could be?

Rich, always so fucking popular, the head of the football team, good with ladies, fuck you fawned over him, when he had it so bad for you. You would doodle Satoru Gojo and you in wedding clothes as he’d sit at study sessions, and the fear of him pushed Choso even further to lose his mind and thoughts with Amber, but now even he doesn’t know if he can forgive himself.

Not for hurting you like this.

Choso: Please, I’ll do anything, just talk to me. Just… still be my best friend, even if I want you as so much more, I’ll take it, I’ll take just that again over none of you… please.

You don’t read it, your green dot is off line, seven minutes ago.

Choso sobs into his hands, sitting on his couch, thinking of the hurt on your pretty face when you saw it, fuck did you feel unwanted? When all he wants is you, but how could you know now? How could you know that he does, when you saw that.

Did you really feel like this ‘distraction’ or a game to him? You’re more than that, so much more. As he curls into a ball and sobs, he hates himself then, why can’t he know better, do better, why can’t he just know what’s right? You should hate him after this.

He’s losing you, and he never even really had you, not in the way he wants, he craves, he needs in his soul. After a long time, he falls asleep with streaks of tears drying on his cheeks, eyes heavy and reddened and sore. He is dreaming of you, snuggling next to him, heat on his leg, your smile so sleepy and cute. Your hair is a mess, and you’re in his tee shirt.

How can he lose you like this?

Your POV

“F-Fuck, Satoru!” You’re crying out as he’s pumping two stupidly long fingers deep in your pussy, and Satour’s moaning into your mouth, you’re literally on your front porch in the middle of the evening as he’s pressing you against your door, scissoring his fingers in and out. You’re clinging to him, he’s doing it so well your mind is shut, your eyes rolled back.

“Hear her, fuck… slutty pussy.” He huffs, grabbing you rough, he’s not delicate or careful like Cho, his grip on your thigh is bruising, your hands glide down his abdomen then, finding his cock over his pants, your phone is incessantly buzzing in your purse, you know it’s Choso, but you don’t really care right now.

“Please…” You whisper out.

“Please what, pretty little slut?” He murmurs, you should be offended but you’re not, you want more of it, to feel mindless, numb, good.

“Make me cum.” You’re hastily unlocking your door now, Satoru’s hands both press against your waist as you shut the door, and he has you picked up, effortlessly, your legs wrap around his hips as you all kiss, over and over.

“Bed?” He asks, you nod barely, pointing and he’s carrying you right to it, laying you down, somewhere Choso really has never been.

Fuck can’t you get him out of your head!?

You reach down between you both, stroking Satoru’s length, he’s long and curved, your thumb brushes on precum, earning his pink lips parted, a red flush on his porcelain skin. “I was missing all this?” He asks softly now, shoving up your shirt and revealing your tits that squish in his grip.

“Y-you were a dick.” You mumble, he chuckles, sucking on your nipple now, sliding panties down your thighs and rolling on your clit with his thumb until you’re dripping down his fingers.

“I still am a dick, baby, you’re just horny and mad.” He taunts, he’s somehow infuriatingly perceptive for an idiot.

“Just shut up, Satoru you talk too- ah!” Satoru’s got you flipped now, fucking obscene, dragging your pussy on his face, still in his fancy ass dress shirt, you’re still in a skirt and a top yanked down, his cock sprung in your face. “I haven’t…”

“No sixty nine?” He smacks your ass, and you tremble, bracing yourself on your arms as he drags his tongue between your folds. “Such a goodie goodie.”

“Fuck you, Satoru.” He laughs, breath tickling, so you suck him down your throat, he tastes good, his tongue is godly, but you just don’t feel that thing. You don’t feel whatever the fuck it was, and this proves it.

You shove it back as he shoves his cock in your mouth, swirling his tongue around your clit and then shoving his two fingers in your cunt again, playing with you over and over, pumping in and out, you’re clenching them like a vise as he sucks your little clit in his mouth. You grind on him weakly, crying out around his length, hair falling against his thighs.

He has his pants and boxers still half way on, your hands cling to them as he’s relentless with his tongue, sucking all of your juices up as his fingers fuck your gummy little walls. He’s hitting every spot you have, grinning against you whenl you’re cumming on Satoru Gojo’s face.

He’s moaning as he smacks your ass, still fingering you. “There, fuck… if you keep… I’m…” Satoru cums then with a groan, pulsing deep in your throat, you swallow the salty and slightly bitter taste down, his hum on your clit making you cum as you do, shaking when you cum again and finally pull up, shutting your eyes.

What have you done? Just what Amber was doing to Choso, and out of what, jealousy, need? Are you any better?

Satoru exhales, tapping your hip, and you ease off him, nervously looking away. “I’m sorry I came quick, your throat…”

“No, no! It’s good. I came clearly.” He exhales, planting a kiss on your lips, his glittery eyes dilated. “That was…”

“Fucking awesome, sweets. If you give me a bit, we can actually fuck.” He teases, dragging you on his lap now, you giggle then, breathless.

“Not just yet, this was a lot more than I expected already. We don’t even date or whatever.”

“You worry too much. If it feels good just do it.” You contemplate his words, more seriously than he intended. “All right, I’m out then sweets.”

“No pussy you’re out?” You raise a brow, he grins.

“I have your pussy all over my face, so shut it.” He smacks your ass once more, hopping up and getting dressed, you start to realize what happened, it’s slowly sinking in more and more, when you walk him to the door and he winks.

“Try not to look so pleased, Satoru.” You say, he grins bigger, snatching up his coat and throwing it on his shoulders.

“Got you off enough, I should be pleased. Don’t ignore me for a week again, it makes me sad you know.” He pouts, you can’t help but sigh, he’s gorgeous, he’s talented and fuck that was good.

But…

It feels so impersonal?

“Am I like a booty call now?” You ask, trying to hide your anxiousness with him, he shrugs a shoulder.

“I don’t take them on dates, I have standards. But I don’t label, so chill.” He pats your head now, winking. “I’m like your revenge fuck.”

“Oh god.” You roll your eyes.

“Nighty night. Text me.”

“Good night Satoru.” Satoru literally hops and prances to the damn car, but you feel it, the emotions choking you already, where Choso had snuggled and kissed, or he had tried to- you’d stopped it- Satoru’s prancing to his door and zipping away, clearly he got some of what he wanted from you.

Is this who you are now?

You take a shower, resting your head on the wall, shutting your eyes as you see it, over and over, Choso and Amber in that car. But you told him you were done, you told him there was no sex anymore, so what was wrong with what either of you did? What was this feeling like hot fire pokers in your throat, this clutching and pulling at your heart?

Tearing you in two.

If you were just horny and edged, Satoru should have scratched every fucking itch you ever had, he’s perhaps more skilled than Choso at a woman’s body, you’re sure fucking him would be fun, and there’s just no feelings. He would have been a perfect friend with benefit, not Choso Kamo, the man that you look into his eyes and he sees you, truly sees you.

The man you want in bed with you, every night, you remember all those nights sleeping next to him on the couch, hearing his gentle breathing or little snores. And now you think you can’t even be his friend, it hurts too much, and you think it’s pushed you here to do this, something you would never, but the rejection from Ino stung and now Choso?

Drying up you see the twenty messages from him, each one hurting more and more as you read through them all, especially the last one, which is like a knife to your fucking heart.

Cho Bear: Please, I’ll do anything, just talk to me. Just… still be my best friend, even if I want you to be so much more, I’ll take it, I’ll take just that again over none of you… please.

That was an hour ago.

You can’t talk to him now, you can’t look at him now, after what you just did, the tears start falling from your face, it felt so empty and hollow, pure pleasure without those feelings. Without feeling like the most beautiful, important girl in the fucking world, without Choso’s sweet and sincere words. The way he’d held your face and just looked at you.

It was never just getting off with Choso, the moment he kissed you, you irrevocably fell for him, and now you feel nothing but despair.

How does doing something not ‘wrong’ feel this wrong.

You put the phone down, you can’t face him, you can’t call him, you’re still so upset with him and now with yourself. You find yourself curled in a ball on your bed, a bed Satoru Gojo had just been in, fuck it happened so fast too, and now you know it even more so.

You’re in love with Choso.

What have you done?

What has he done?What have you both done?

A/N- Yep. It's a mess, I am sure ya'll are as upset and mad as I am writing these two fking idiots, but it's a slow burn despite their immediate physical connection. I always enjoy your thoughts, how was this angst omg! This actually made me upset but remember I write happy endings <3

Taglist: @erencvlt @antisocialinlw @aquamarine001 @maskedpacific @mima0127 @yxnnu @lana18918 @bigbird789  @angellliqua @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @aldebrana @staygoldsquatchling02 @bts-psycho @lillycore @mysticalnightbeliever @wystriz @tokyolhtl @imabyssa @delicate-ray-of-sunshine @ivyvenus333 @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @sparklydeerface @10honeybee01 @marie-is-in-the-dark @lavender-hvze @angelcakkess @bellasworlds-stuff @pauliiis-stuff @mysouleaten @city-of-lovers @teddiiursula @flowerbbybananamilk

(tagging the rest in commentsss)

Chap Five

[hannieehaee]

them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2 - hhu

content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, conflict resolution, direct continuation to this, fluff, happy ending, etc.

part 1

wc: 3889

a/n: literally so many ppl requested thisjhdf im glad u guys liked it!! im working on vu and pu versions for this rn btw <3

masterlist

seungcheol -

seungcheol sat there for a minute or so, simply pondering at what had just happened. it was 100% his fault, that was something he was very well aware of. he knew that it had simply slipped his mind, but that did not wipe away the hurt he saw in your eyes upon entering your shared apartment. knowing that you had been waiting for him all day made him feel like an asshole. he couldn't believe that he had forgotten about your birthday even upon coming home at midnight the night prior. he felt like such a hypocrite, always whining at people to give him royalty treatment on his birthday but absolutely ignoring you during yours. you, his most favorite person.

he felt hurt that you had decided to spend the night with some friends, instead of in the arms of your boyfriend, but he understood. this was what he deserved. god knew that he wouldve pulled out all the dramatics if you had done the same to him, which was why he was now at a standstill, not knowing what he should do. he wanted to see you so badly, get on his knees and apologize, letting you know over and over again that you were the most vital person in his life and that forgetting you was something that not even he could forgive himself for.

now, he could've sat there and lamented himself over his stupid mistake, or he could run after you before you made it out of the building. he did not want you going to bed angry, or much worse, sad, so he picked the latter and got off his ass to chase after you, not caring about his current exhaustion as he took the stairs rather than the elevator in order to be able to catch up to you before you made it to your car.

luckily for him, he was able to catch you just as you stepped out of the elevator (having ran down five flights of stairs and almost injuring himself in the process), completely unsuspecting to his sudden ambush. he hadn't noticed until now, but you had dressed up, clearly ready to go clubbing or partying with your friends. he felt bad to get in the way of your plans. no, he felt horrible to accidentally ditch you and then ruin your plans. but he needed to at least try and make amends. he knew that if this were him, he'd want you to try and make it up to him.

you jumped back a bit at seungcheol's sudden apparition as you rounded the corner upon exiting the elevator, seemingly not having expected him to come after you.

"cheol, what are you doing?", you didn't seem mad, but your tone let him know you were clearly not content with him.

okay, he didn't think as far as this. his main goal was just to convince you to stay, then he would come up with a way to make it up to you.

"baby, i ... i'm so sorry. i know how hypocritical this is coming from me. i never meant to forget, you know that! there's nothing i can do to make up for having forgotten about you today, but please, please let me try."

"cheol .. i don't know," you paused, "last year when i texted you at 12:03 you complained about it for over an hour. you're the one always making a big deal about this. i assumed you'd care when the shoe was on your foot, but apparently not."

"i do! i do care. baby, please. let me take you out. ditch your friends. i'll take you somewhere. anywhere. i'll even take you out tomorrow too! i'll take the day off. how does that sound?"

"you cant take the day off, cheol. you're an idol-"

"i dont care! they can come and try to drag me away from you if they want. i want to be with you. please let me. please don't leave. cant stand the thought of you going to sleep alone after what i did."

you chuckled at the first half of his statement, feeling touched at the second part of it.

"are you sure?"

he scoffed, deciding to go on a leap and hold onto your hands, pulling you closer to him, "yes! there's nothing i wanted to do more today than be with you! it mightve slipped my mind that today was the day, but i had a beautiful day for us planned, baby. will you let me show you? please?"

cheol knew it was hard for you to say no to him, specially when he whined and pouted at you, giving you his best performance in order for you to understand how badly he felt. it didn't take much more for you to break, finally letting a smile graced your face as you squeezed his hands in yours.

"you better make this worth my while, choi seungcheol," god, he hated when anyone called him that, but you were the exception.

"always."

wonwoo -

wonwoo was astonished at himself, for lack of a better word. he had never been more disappointed in himself than in this moment. sure, he didn't take birthdays too seriously, and he knew you didn't either, but you always made him feel so special on his day he had only wanted to do the same. he was a lowkey guy, so his ways of showing love sometimes went unnoticed by most people, except for you. you accepted the subtlety of his love, loving him all the more for it. he felt terrible that today he showed you the exact opposite of what he had planned. he had taken weeks to perfect the dinner he had wanted to make for you, having prepared a romantic night for the two of you. all he wanted was to make you feel loved as he held you through the night, but his plan had stupidly slipped his mind.

what kind of asshole ditches their significant other on their birthday? for a stupid video game out of all things? as soon as wonwoo communicated what you had texted him to mingyu, his roommate couldn't help but scold him, telling him this was very uncharacteristic of him. which it was. everyone knew wonwoo to be a very sensible guy. it was very rare for anyone to have their feelings hurt by wonwoo. the guy was just simply too emotionally intelligent to ever be perceived as a hurtful individual. except now he had shown a careless part of himself that rarely ever faced the surface.

he was unsure of what to do. it was clear by your messages that you did not want to see him. you quite literally had asked him to not come. your texts to him were always filled with love, somehow being able to have your affections to him transcend even through text. but these were cold, and with good reason. still, wonwoo did not want to give up. the only thing that would be worse than ditching you on your birthday would be to stay where he was, knowing you were not only upset but also hurt by his actions. or rather, lack there of.

so, wonwoo was now on his way to you. well, to your apartment. you had mentioned in your messages that you would be out with friends due to his absence. it killed him that you had chosen to be with your friends over him, but he was fully aware that he only had himself to blame for that. he was glad you at least had someone to be with while his forgetfulness kept him away from you.

he had a key to your apartment, often heading over to fall asleep in your arms after a grueling day of being an idol. upon arriving there, he knew you'd be gone, so he allowed himself in, hauling in all the ingredients he had packed with him in order to make you the dinner he had been planning all these weeks. he was unsure of when you'd arrive back home, so he needed to hurry just in case. there was also a chance you'd come back in the early hours of the morning, knowing you would sometimes stay out with your friends til 1 or 2 in the am. having practiced this dinner multiple times, wonwoo was able to have it all done by 10, hoping that you'd arrive soon so the dinner wouldn't go to waste. he took care of the ambience, lighting candles and even moving furniture aside to make space for his set up. all he had to do now was wait for your arrival.

it had taken you around two hours to arrive. wonwoo had simply sat there waiting for you, not wanting to contact you as to not disturb you. okay, maybe he had maniacally texted you back earlier, apologizing for his mistake over and over, but had received no response, so he had decided it'd be best to just wait for you to arrive on your own. and now you were here, crossing the door to your apartment.

you stopped upon spotting him, widening your eyes before taking note of the dinner table behind him, "wonwoo? what are you doing here?"

he smiled sadly at you, slightly unsure of what to say, "i cooked for you," he paused, continuing upon seeing your confusion, "im so sorry. time got the best of me. i cant believe it slipped my mind. i knew it was today, but i got too distracted. i never wanted to make you feel like i didnt care. i do. so much."

you stood there without saying anything, still carrying a slightly shocked expression on your face. so he continued.

"baby ... please, have a meal with me. i prepared all this for you. this is what i had planned for today, if only i hadnt forgotten. let me make it up to you, please. i already called off tomorrow. i had a whole day planned for us, but i'll do whatever you want. if you want me to leave, i will. just, please. i need you to know how much i care. i love you, you're everything."

you continued to stare at him for a bit, a soft smile slowly breaking into your features before responding.

"nonu .. you didn't have to do all this. i'm sorry if i made you worry. this is ... it's such a sweet gesture. of course i want you to stay. all i wanted all day was to be with you," it melted his heart that you had wanted him all day, but were separated by none other than himself.

he pulled you into his arms halfway through your response, humming as he felt you hug him back. nothing felt as nice as your touch against his.

"im so sorry, beautiful. this will never happen again, i promise."

"i love you, wonwoo. thank you."

"happy birthday."

mingyu -

mingyu had never hauled ass quicker than at that moment, not even bothering to say goodbye to his roommate before grabbing a jacket and sprinting out of the door.

he couldn't believe his behavior towards you. you had always been a top priority to him, and to now realize he had forgotten your birthday gutted him tremendously. but what got to him even more was the knowledge that you had probably been waiting all day for him, having agreed beforehand that he would make space for you on your special day even through his packed comeback schedule. the sole thought that you, the bestest person he had ever met, had sat alone waiting for him all day, made him feel like the worst boyfriend. so now he was quite literally running in order to get to you.

the dryness of your voice during that call should've been the first hint that something was wrong, but what really made the alarms go off in his head was your lack of response when he said 'i love you' to you. mingyu knew it was dumb to care so much about it, but he thrived off words of affirmation, so your lack of response made him immediately assume something was wrong. you had never not reciprocated his words of affection, much less hung up on him. the moment he expressed his concerns to wonwoo, he was reminded by his roommate that 'oh wait, isn't it their birthday this week?' suddenly his mind started spiraling, now remembering that he had forgotten his boyfriend duties on the most important day.

it didn't take him too long to get to your apartment. okay, he didn't actually run there, he was just being a tad bit dramatic. but dramatics were necessary in this situation, which is why the moment you begrudgingly opened the door after his incessant knocks, allowing him inside, he immediately dropped to his knees, looking up at you as he rambled apologies at you.

"baby, i'm so fucking sorry. god, i don't know how i forgot. i swear the day just slipped my mind. i had plans ready, i swear! i've just been so busy with the comeback- not that that's an excuse! you have every reason to be mad at me. it won't happen again, i promise, i-" mingyu wasn't sure when exactly he was going to stop listing off constant apologies to you. he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying at this point, just repeating himself over and over again, letting it slip past him that you were now standing above him, holding in your amusement at the state of the pleading man before you.

"mingyu, please get up."

like an obedient boy, he got up, now towering over you as he usually did. he immediately held onto your hands, bringing them up to his chest as he continued his apologies.

"you have every right to be mad at me. i neglected you and forgot about you when i shouldn't have. i didn't even wanna come home to wonwoo tonight! i wanted to come to you! but we have a schedule early tomorrow morning, so it was just easier. but i'll cancel! i'll stay here with you! i wanna make it up to you-"

"mingyu, shut up!"

that was enough for him to slam his mouth shut immediately, looking at you as he waited for your next command words.

"mingyu, listen. i understand. i was hurt you forgot, but i understand you're really busy right now, okay? i'm not angry at you. you don't have to cancel your schedule either. i don't want to get in the way of-"

"i'll do it! you're my top priority, baby. you know that."

"i still don't want you to cancel, gyu. it's fine. i'm not angry. i appreciate your apology. just wanted to be with you today .. i'm sorry if i made you worry," you looked down, almost as if embarrassed by having felt hurt by his actions. this made mingyu melt with guilt.

"no, baby. fuck. how can i make this up to you? can i stay here tonight? hmm? i'll cook you dinner and wake you up with breakfast. i'll even cut my schedule short for tomorrow so i can be back home with you earlier. how's that sound?"

"sounds perfect mingyu, thank you," he took this as confirmation to finally hold you in his arms, swaying you back and forth as he hummed the birthday song lightly against your ear, causing you to giggle against him.

vernon -

everyone was aware that vernon could sometimes be a little too chill for his own good. he didn't make too big of a deal about most things, simply going with the flow and allowing things to evolve on their own. except that could not be done in this situation. right now, he needed to make a choice. give you your space, or run home to you, tail between his legs as he apologized for ever having forgotten about you. the last thing vernon would ever want was for you to not feel the immense amount of love he's always had for you. he knew he could be bad at showing it sometimes, but you were the absolute love of his life, which made him feel devastated over and over again as he kept rereading your texts.

'maybe you should stay at the dorms tonight. not really in the mood for you to spend the night. im sorry. love you.' that was what you had last sent to him exactly thirty-eight minutes ago. how could he just sit with that for the rest of the night? specially when all he wanted to do was be with you and hold you and kiss you and show you how incredibly obsessed with you he was. he was never good with dates, but he had always gotten any and all dates pertaining to you right thus far. he even had a gift for you he had purchased a few months back, but he had stupidly forgotten the day he had been preparing for was this week. this mistake was an outlier, truly, but it hurt you nonetheless, which was all vernon cared about at the moment. he couldn't believe you'd been having to hint at your birthday while your boyfriend remained clueless. you must've felt so dejected. he winced at the thought.

however, right now was not a time for lamentations. even if you kicked him out and told him to get fucked, vernon had to at least try to come home to you now. he quickly went over the situation with his members, explaining that he had been a total douchebag and neglected you. that earned him scoldings from all members present, calling him all types of names and demanding he head over to your apartment right this instant to beg for forgiveness and hope you wouldn't just send him right back.

so now he was on his way to you, despite you having instructed him to stay away. he wanted to respect your wishes, but he couldn't go to sleep tonight knowing your heart was still hurt because of him. he needed to at least see you and have you know that he was willing to try and mend things. vernon wasn't one for public displays, nor was he one for dramatics, but he was willing to pull all stops for you if it meant you'd forgive him. which was why he was currently running through the hybe hallways as he called up his driver to be ready to take him to your apartment as soon as he reached the parking lot.

he had had time to think over a game plan on the way over, except nothing came to mind. the two of you had never fought before. sure, there had been a few minuscule spats here and there, but he had never seen you angry at him before; he'd never given any reason to be until now. he didn't want to freak out over this, but knew how hurtful it must've been for you to feel so neglected by the person who's supposed to love you most, so he felt a pit in his stomach with the worry that maybe this would be enough for you to finally snap at his forgetful tendencies and end it. he didn't have much time to think about this, however, as he now stood in front of your apartment door, fearful of knocking on it.

the decision to open the door was made for him, as you incidentally opened it yourself, yelping at his apparition on the other side of it.

"vernon? what are you doing here?", you didn't seem angry. you seemed more confused at his presence. that was good.

"i- uh ... i'm sorry."

okay, kind of a bad start.

"vernon. i told you not to come over tonight. i'm sorry, i'm not really in the mood to see you right now," even though you didn't appear angry, your eyes wouldn't meet his, making him deflate a bit.

"are you mad at me? i'm so sorry. i didnt mean to forget, i swear," vernon knew there wasn't much he could say past that, but he wanted you to at least know he regretted his neglect.

"i'm not angry, vernon. i'm just a little ... sad. i tried to be subtle about it. i mean, i dont even care for my birthday that much, but i hoped my boyfriend would at least remember it."

"baby, god. i am so fucking sorry. i never meant to make you feel like i didn't care. it just slipped my mind. i know it's not a valid excuse, but i need you to know that it doesnt mean anything. i'm just a fucking idiot. i'm sorry."

he was rambling now. somehow you being hurt by him trumped the chance of you being mad.

"vernon, it's fine. i dont want you beating yourself up about it. i'll get over it. i just need space tonight. i was about to go meet with a friend before you got here," you seemed like you just wanted to get out of the situation, clearly feeling awkward at even expressing your disappointment at him. it made vernon feel like even more of an asshole.

"no! be mad! you shouldn't get over it. i should be making it up to you. stay. please. i'll do anything you want. i'll take tomorrow off. we can do something together. anything you want. i have a gift for you and everything! i got it while in japan, the date just slipped my mind, i swear. please stay. i don't want to leave you alone if i made you sad. please."

"vernon ..."

"please. i don't want to force you. if you want to leave, i'll accept it, but let me make it up to you. i dont want you to feel like i dont care. i do. i know i dont express it much, that's on me. i'll make it known. i'll show you. i don't want to hurt you again, i-"

he was unable to finish his sentence, now stumbling back due to a sudden weight against him. you, with your arms now wrapped around him as your face nuzzled his neck. he instinctively wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you in as he lowered his head to breathe you in, humming as he felt the relief of having you in his hold.

you pulled away too quickly for his liking, eyes slightly glossy but not enough to consider it worrisome, "i forgive you. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to exaggerate. i did feel neglected, but-"

"but nothing. don't apologize, please. this won't happen again, okay? i love you."

"i love you too," you smiled at him before pausing, "i .. do you wanna come in?", you seemed a bit sheepish, probably feeling awkward at hearing vernon ramble apologies at you for the past five minutes, showing way more emotion than he usually did.

"come in? oh, you're not leaving? wait, don't answer that. yes," he held onto your hand before you could say anything, pulling you in for a quick kiss before leading you into your apartment, all under the promise to make up for his previous carelessness and never make you doubt his affections for you ever again.

[dolicekiss]

Hello there,

If you are still taking in requests, I thought I'd just leave this here. Could you potentially do a Hannibal Lecter x reader one-shot/headcanons (it's up to you) where they used to be lovers. But when the reader caught wind of Hannibal not exactly being a normal, she practically dissappeared from his life entirely. Now, years later, he sees the reader in Baltimore at an art gallery or something (idk maybe the reader is an artist herself or just a guest?) And it just re-sparks some sort of deep longing (yandere vibes???) within Hannibal.

Just a thought.

♡: i love this idea, its fr gonna awaken the poet in me. i hope u like it and it was up to your expectations (fear of disappointing ppl goes hard)

An ache for art

YANDERE HANNIBAL HEADCANON

PAIRING: Yandere!Hannibal x Artist!Reader

CONTENT WARNING: Yandere hannibal, mentions of kidnapping, forced (?) kissing, persistant hannibal, not much, only obsessed hannibal who wants his woman back

SYNOPSIS: When you abandoned Hannibal Lecter, he searched for answers everywhere in his desperation for you. Oblivious to the fact that you'd caught onto the abnormalities of the man. Years later at an art gallery, Hannibal finds solace in the painings presented before you and when he finds out you're the creator, a spark is once again lightened.

An art gallery in Baltimore was the last destination of all places in the world where Hannibal expected to find you.

When he'd asked to see the artist that had performed such a spectacular job at capturing human longing — akin to his, under the stroke of a brush, he didn't expect it to be you.

And you surely didn't expect to meet him. Yet here you were, nervousness heaving on you like cemented blocks.

You'd abandoned him under the fear that you might become his next victim. A voice inside you prevented you from informing the authorities but your morals could not allow you to stay with a man like him.

Especially after realizing he must've fed you human remains, on one of his special dinner nights. Torn between your love for him and the need to escape, you never looked back.

Hannibal tried searching for you, everywhere. He thought you two were soulmates, meant to be forever. You'd climbed the walls that he had always kept higher and higher.

Just why did you leave then? Had he done something so severe that you had to disappear from his life? Leaving your job behind, your life behind in Florence and never appearing in front of him ever again.

“Hannibal.” Your voice a whisper. He could taste the way his name unfurled on your tongue.

For a man that in complete control of his emotions and what he felt, he couldn't contain his excitement and happiness upon at the sight of you.

Hannibal stepped closer to you, a smile causing the wrinkles to appear. The same wrinkles you once used to adore.

“Beautiful art, I must say.”

You nodded, accepting his compliment, a small smile on your lips. You felt no discomfort or resentment in his presence. Only thing left were the beautiful memories of a healthy relationship.

The rest of the evening was spent together. You showed him around the gallery, explaining subtle details of your art to him albeit that wasn't necessary as Hannibal read right through your gentle brush strokes.

Though he was more interested in the art that strolled alongside him. A beautiful sight in her glory, flourishing once more like the petals of a sunflower.

Hannibal had an ache. An ache to consume art but you were the type of art he felt full just by catching sight of. He couldn't satiate these cravings you'd left him with.

After your departure, Hannibal killed and he killed. Yet no one could even compare to what you made him feel.

You were responsible for the deaths of multiple innocents, because you chose to leave him with an ache. Hannibal wondered how you'd feel if you were to find out.

He wished for the time to stop. That everything would come to a halt and you'd stay frozen right before his gaze.

Nowhere to go, nowhere to run to. Only available to him, only before his very eyes.

If it came down to it, Hannibal would not shy away from denying you of your freedom.

As you both reached a secluded corner in the gallery, the tension like a pendulum hung in the air above your heads.

Unanswered questions probed at Hannibal from within. He needed to know why you'd left — just what had scared you away to the point of no return?

Somewhere he knew. Deep in his heart, he was aware that this abrupt abandonment had everything to do with his own sickly desires.

“Why?”

You knew it was coming and it did. You couldn't tell him you knew about his little murder sprees or how he fed you human flesh.

You tried to walk away from the suffocating conversation but Hannibal couldn't allow that. Hand grasping around your arm, his tight prevention scaring you.

“Hannib—”

“I won't let you leave this time.” He longed for you, he never stopped to begin with. Everyday he'd come to his house and find it empty, it felt like needles prickled his chest.

He missed you roaming the premises of his humble abode, dressed in one of his button downs. Casting a meaningful light over the painted walls and furniture.

His grip was tight. You saw the sheer determination so instead of causing a scene, it was best to continue the conversation someplace better.

Like a coffee shop.

Sitting before him with a cup of coffee in your hand, you stared at him. Hannibal was never fond of such small cafes on the roadside — he preferred lavish and rich restaurants.

“I know, Hannibal.”

That was all he needed to know that you were well aware. His face falling but there was no expression on his face at all. Like he'd expected this.

“Was it that easy to abandon me?”

A stinging sensation spread in your chest at his sorrow filled question. Of course it wasn't easy. You'd spent a whole year in complete isolation after parting from him.

Hannibal caught onto the painful expression, akin to his. He wished that he was different too, more like you and not the cannibalistic murderer he was.

But some instincts could not be controlled.

“Come back to me.”

You could not. To step all over your moral conscience required strong will which you did not possess.

“I can't. It will never work, Hannibal.”

Hannibal noticed the reluctance in your gaze, his own darkening. Plans to keep you by his side already forming in his cunning mind.

There was no limit he wouldn't cross for you. Whether it was manipulating you back into his life or kidnapping you, he didn't want to back out.

You picked up your bag and after sparing him one last glance, left the cafe. Bells ringing against his ears, notifying him of your exit.

Hannibal was in disarray. He needed to have you, he had to have you. There was no way he could sit idle and watch you leave him.

So he followed you, pressing you up against your car. Lips working hastily to captivate yours, as he fought the string of dark emotions inside him.

You almost melted.

Him being the only man that could make you feel like this. A bittersweet kiss which acted as the closure you never received from him.

Hannibal’s frame locked you in, his hands roaming down to your waist. He kissed you with vigor, with profound strength like you could disappear at any given moment.

Your hands stayed by your sides, lacking the courage to slither them across his nape.

The kiss heated – his lips sucking yours and then he attempted to enter your mouth. You didn't let him. Persistent you were.

Hannibal pulled back from the kiss and breathed against your lips.

You soon realized what you were doing, in who you were investing and you pushed him off you.

Hannibal loved the feeling of your small hands over his chest. The way you still tasted the same even after years had passed.

“Don't ever come in front of me again.”

He didn't like the venom in your tone and he sure as hell wasn't going to let you go like before.

Hannibal watched you leave in your car and sighed, his fingertips running along his own lips. Remnants of your saliva bringing him to the brink of insanity.

He would do anything to have you.

And if that meant going against your will, so be it.

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | eight.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 9.3k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, we see prof choi in full professor mode in this chapter rawrrrr, NAS (or NSA, i know i might've said both lmao same thing!) conference is here - time for everyone to get buck wild! jk lol, san gets slightly jealous, bar scenes, alcohol consumption/intoxication, unprotected sex, cowgirl 🤠, san x oc are just super cute and sweet per usual, iono ppl are onto them tho lol, some insecurities coming to surface

—a/n: a lil hongjoong piece for those who need it <33

"San." You pick up the phone as you start packing up the last bits of necessities into your luggage. You'd be out of town throughout the weekend until early next week— trying to get the full experience of the NAS conference for the first time.

"Hey baby." You smile to yourself. "All packed up?"

"Mhm. We're about to head to the airport in a few minutes."

"Can't wait to see you at some point." You let out a small laugh, knowing it'll be somewhat hard to be with San and to stay with him during the time you're out there. But, you hope you can at least make a night or something work— San has been too busy since he's gotten there. You're barely able to talk to him unless he's back at the hotel and resting; then, he falls asleep quickly. You know he's been working hard to deliver his talks in between meeting with colleagues he hasn't seen in awhile. Preparing for his highly anticipated lecture for the NAS conference.

You're hoping you'll get your alone time with him and get away from your friends for a little bit.

"You've been busy. Gotta get ready for all that partying too, huh Professor Choi?"

—FLASHBACK

"Are you ready to present at the NAS conference?" You sit criss-crossed on the table while Sunwoo sits next to you, the both of you indulging in the hot breakfast and coffee set out for lab meeting. 

"Shit, that's a good question." You laugh. "I don't think I'll ever be."

"You'll do great." You nudge him playfully. "That's why Professor Choi is here to chew your ass out first before you present it to the public."

"You're right. I'd rather have him chew my ass out than anyone else." San walks in with a few people from the lab trailing in behind, and you instantly feel the butterflies swarming your gut. He's dressed pretty casually today— jeans, a loose fitting shirt and a cardigan, his glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. His cheeks are a rosy tint, soft, black hair framing his face.

"Morning!" He says, sitting in a chair in the first row. "The NAS conference is coming up and we've got about five people from the lab presenting posters. Let's take this time to go through them and discuss any edits or changes before finalizing them." He looks over to you and Sunwoo. "Sunwoo, wanna go first?"

"Not really, but I'll do it for you." You snort, the rest of the lab chuckling in their seats. Sunwoo hops off the table and plugs in his laptop— his poster quickly coming up on the projector screen. "10 minutes?" San nods.

"Try to keep it within 10 minutes, yeah." San leans over onto his knees, focusing on Sunwoo's poster while the rest of the lab listens intently as he presents his projects and relevant data. Sunwoo is speaking quickly, but clearly, trying to cover every important point before his 10-min mark is up. Every now and then, you find your eyes glazing over San and how incredibly sexy he is all focused and in professor mode—

You need to focus.

It doesn't help any further when Sunwoo finishes his presentation and San starts going into detail about the things he should remove from his poster, things he should focus on, even things like:

"And the titles on your poster should be your results." San points up at the screen. "Cause I promise this is great, but it'll be even better if you let your audience know what the result is right off the bat so they know what they can focus on right away. If you keep it vague, you might lose them." San furrows his brows. "Can you go to the middle panel really quickly?" Sunwoo fixes the presentation to San's liking. "Yeah, I think you should add the figure that you left out cause that was the key point. That difference you saw between A and B would be the highlight. It doesn't matter if it feels small, people are gonna wanna see it because it's data. And in your case, it's data that contributes to what your end goal was."

"Yessir!" Sunwoo types away to make sure he captures all the suggestions. Others start throwing their hands up to give Sunwoo more edits that they feel would be appropriate, along with making sure small typos get fixed before then. San looks around the room once the suggestions have died down, eyes quickly landing on you [and now Belle on your other free side] before praising Sunwoo for the poster and calling up the next presenter.

"Goodjob." Belle chuckles as he plops down next to you, letting out a deep sigh.

"Thank god for Professor Choi. I dunno how I'mma do this."

"You'll be fine! You did great up there. Your poster was already good, just add the minor tweaks and it'll be even better." You add.

"My hype women. Thanks." You both laugh and shake your head before listening in on the next poster presentation. The four other presentations go on just as Sunwoo's did— 10 minute presentations followed by San's feedback, along with the lab's. You chime in a few times on coloring choices for graphs and images, pointing out typos and suggesting better titles for some panels as well. San smiles toothlessly at you while he listens, overwhelmed by eagerness to kiss you. Hold you. Show you off.

But, he settles for a nod and a 'thank you' for the suggestions. Giving you one last smile before he turns to the lab around him.

"Any other questions?"

"Professor Choi, tell us about your wild times at NAS." San laughs.

"Sorry to break it to you guys, but I definitely don't have any wild stories from NAS." 

"It seemed to be so much crazier when you and the other professors started going a couple of years ago."

"I'm not a fossil." San teases, making the lab laugh. "But, yeah. I guess you could say that. There were lots of after parties throughout the week. If not, people always bar hopped at the bars nearby. I hung out a few times, but never got as wasted."

"It's cause he had Iseul." Belle whispers with a small head tilt. "She even took his fun away. Damn."

"Belle." You look at her and playfully squeeze her arm.

"What! Serious. I still can't believe her." She does a tiny huff and sits back against the wall.

"You should probably ask Professor Bahng or Professor Song for their wild stories cause they definitely had some." San smiles back at the lab.

"Oh, come on Professor Choi! Don't be so shy!" San laughs and shakes his head before standing.

"Any other questions? Great posters, by the way. Send me the final versions by next week so you all have time to print and get it sorted out before the conference."

—END

"Oh, certainly." He playfully rolls his eyes. "I know it's been hectic, and I'm sorry, sweetheart. I keep running into people I haven't seen so I get pulled into last minute things." San sighs a bit, running his hand down his face. "I gotta get ready to meet up with Chris and Mingi. But, I promise we'll get our time down here."

"I know, that's okay. Comes with dating a well known, brilliant professor, I guess." He laughs. "Have fun with them!"

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too." It's scary how much time you've spent with San over the past weeks because now, you're getting used to carving out time and being with him. On the weekends. Slipping out late nights and sleeping over. You don't think your friends are thinking too much about the details, but you just don't know. You've been gone a lot. But, at the end of the day, it still brings you to the fact that you're starting to always long for San and want him around. "I'll be there soon."

"How are you gonna get away? Aren't you sharing an airbnb with your friends?" You nod as if he can see you.

"Mhm. They all plan to go out and do different things throughout the trip, though."

"Let me know whenever you need me to send a car to get you. I'll drop everything." You giggle.

"Send a car for your secret lover? Hot." San snorts.

"Not even, baby. I'd show you off to the world if I could." You pause and let the statement sit a bit, the reality of your situation sinking in a little more than you'd like right now. But, you quickly brush it off; not wanting to ruin the mood or cast an attitude for no reason.

This wasn't San's fault, nor was it yours. 

"I know." You respond softly. "Anyway, I should probably head to Eunchae's soon before they start trying to break down my door again."

"Okay." San softly chuckles. "Text me along the way, sweetheart. I'll be waiting 'till you get here."

"I will." San bites his tongue, leaving a small pause in the conversation before he speaks again.

"Mmkay. Bye baby." You answer back before hanging up the call, briefly double-checking everything before you zip up your luggage, grab your personal bag and head out to Eunchae's.

"I was literally just about to go knock on your door." Jiung takes your luggage from you to free your hands.

"Was just making sure I had everything." Eunchae claps and flashes her phone.

"Yay! We're all here. I called the taxi to come and get us." Your group walks out of the building to stand on the curb, the taxi pulling up in the next 5 minutes. It's a van, and it'll fit your group perfectly. The rest of the people you know are either flying out tonight, or throughout the weekend. It'll be an empty week next week, especially for the neuroscience and bioengineering community; most classes have been cancelled due to the conference.

The airport is close to a 50-min drive from campus. As soon as you get there, your group checks in at the individual kiosks, breezing straight through security since it's not during the busy rush hour at the airport. You've got an hour until your flight departs, so once you've found the gate, you and the girlies walk around to buy coffee and snacks. You text San in between, giving him the play by play of what's going on.

San can't wait to see you. He knows you two will make time and figure it out, and he truly can't wait until he gets you all to himself. It's the only thing he can think of, even as he walks around the downtown area with Mingi and Chris before they hit the sports bar to catch the baseball game over some grub and drinks.

"When is everyone else coming?" San is pulled out of his thoughts when Christopher rings out the question while looking at a shirt in a clothing store they had stumbled into.

"Namjoon and Zara are coming tonight, I think Yeosang and Jongho are taking a red eye." Mingi says.

"Yeah, he is. Then they're gonna head to our breakfast get-together like nothing."

"Mhm." Chris puts the shirt back on the rack while continuing to chime in. "Ran into Yunho earlier, so they're definitely here already."

"Tomorrow's breakfast will be fun." Mingi says with a drip of sarcasm.

"Namjoon and his plans, for real." Chris takes a thick jean jacket off of the rack and heads over to the cashier with San and Mingi in tow. "You guys have any other plans while we're here?"

"Got a few meetings outside of the conference, but nothing too major this year." San responds.

"Same." Mingi adds. "Sad they didn't bring back that investigator after party." Chris snorts.

"Because people got too fucked up last time."

"Boo." Mingi playfully boo's.

you: getting on the plane! gonna put my phone on airplane mode. see you later, maybe? 🥰

San smiles at his phone when he sees the text, fingers swiftly typing away to text you back.

san: safe travels, angel. 

"Zara texting you?" Mingi tries to peek at his phone.

"No. Cut it out." San furrows his brows at Mingi before playfully pushing him and heading out of the store.

"Then why are you smiling like that, bro?" Chris laughs. "Who are you seeing?"

"No for real, cause I know you aren't distancing yourself from Zara for no reason." San smirks and shakes his head.

"Ready to eat? I'm hungry. The game is about to be on, too."

"Woooow." Chris jokes. "Nah, it'll come out one day."

"Maybe, maybe not." San continues to tease with a big smile.

Meanwhile— when it's time to depart, you sit at the window seat with Jiung and another classmate on the same flight next to you. It's a 3-hour flight, but you brought along your book to read in between taking small naps on Jiung's shoulder. He's busy playing on his switch, fingers moving at wharp speed as he battles through Breath of the Wild. You hear the game tunes while you're in and out of sleep, checking the monitor to see how much longer you've got on this flight. The last half feels like the longest, and it's got you itching in your seat until the captain finally announces they're preparing for landing.

With any flight, getting off always feels the most stressful. You've got people standing, impatiently waiting for their turn to grab their carry-on luggages before rushing down the aisle. You, Jiung and your other classmate are the first from your group to head off the plane, waiting for the rest near the side of the gate. When you've all reunited, Eunchae takes the lead towards the arrivals terminal, calling up another taxi that can take you and your friends to the AirBnB. It's a pretty spacious house right outside of the central downtown area where the conference venue and popular hotels, eateries and shops are located.

The weather feels perfect.

And as soon as you all shuttle over to the shared AirBnB house, it's time to get ready to eat, explore and head to the bars for the first night. Which, feels like crazy work after the airport and flight chaos, but the adrenaline and hype from everyone around you gets you going. 

"We're really just gonna go all out tonight?" You fix your outfit in the mirror, throwing on a leather jacket to provide some kinda warmth [and umph to your outfit].

"Yeah, fuck it. We're here!" Jiung finishes pouring shots for everyone. "Here." He carefully slides over a plastic shot glass filled to the brim.

"Jiung." He shrugs.

"Nah, drink up. When's the last time we drank and had fun together, busy bee?" He teases, giving you a look. You playfully roll your eyes and hold onto your serving, waiting for everyone to grab their share before yelling out a loud 'cheers!' and taking the nasty liquid down your throat. 

One shot turns to two. To three. Four for some.

It's probably a bad idea that you're strolling the streets tipsy; your arm loosely wrapped around Jiung's as you stroll down a few shops, stumbling into a museum with free admissions for the weekend. You and your friends actually enjoy the exhibits, taking a few pictures along the way for the memories. Eunchae whips out her Instax from time to time, shaking the polaroids she takes before showing it off to the group. You take a few polaroids to keep, slipping them into your wallet to show San when you see him.

After spending a good time roaming around and shopping, you and your friends head to a popular, casual thai restaurant that required a bit of a walk to get to. Luckily for everyone, there isn't much of a wait and you're seated within 15 minutes of arriving. You all decide on ordering a few plates to share from, saving room for more drinks and alcohol for the bar afterwards. As the group continues to talk while waiting for food, you decide this is the perfect opportunity to pull out your phone and see if you had any texts from San.

Which, of course you do. 

He just responded not too long ago after you had sent him a few pictures from the museum and roaming around. Reading his texts puts a small smile on your face, and you almost wish you could just be with him at this given moment.

san: you're so cute.

san: sorry my baby, i've been with chris and mingi. we've just been hanging out.

san: think i can see you later tonight?

you: i'll try, sannie. we're going to the bars in a bit.

san: ☹️ 

you: promise i'll try, okay?

san: okay, but don't sweat it, alright? have fun with your friends, beautiful. enjoy yourself!

"Bruh, hello?" You hear Jiung next to you just as you peep the last response from San, unknowingly wearing a small smile on your lips that has Jiung knitting his brows together. "Who are you texting?" He laughs.

"Nobody, sorry. Was just distracted. What were you saying?" Jiung pauses for a bit because you've been acting a little different and he can't exactly pinpoint what it is. He won't dwell on it now though, he's having a good time with you, your group of friends.

"I was just saying you used to like the cheap ass vodka. We were talking about how our tastes have changed over the years."

"Vodka was not that bad. But, I definitely would not drink it now."

"Iono. Sorry, I think you're alone in this." He shrugs and you playfully hit him on the arm.

"Says you with your nasty Captain Morgan liking ass."

"Oh, come on. That was way better." You pretend to gag. "Captain Morgan brought the best memories for a lot of people." You laugh.

"Shut up."

"Seriously though, why do you seem disconnected? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I just got an email about something but it's no biggie."

"Okay, please don't check your emails." Jiung swipes your phone and you feel like your heart drops to your ass when it's in his possession. But, he doesn't glance at it and simply slips it into your bag. "No more. Let's just enjoy ourselves while we're out here." 

"You're right." You give him a small smile, knowing you should at least be present with your friends instead of thinking about San. If it's meant to happen, you'll find time for him later.

Once the food comes, the chit-chat dies down and everyone is busy getting their grub in. The group starts talking about some of the plans they have for the rest of the conference, most people planning to meet with old friends who are around. You didn't necessarily make any extra plans thinking you'd be able to sneak away with San for most of it.

It's kinda dumb now that you think about it. 

How the hell were you gonna do that?

"Maybe we should just roam around a little more. I can find some things to do." Jiung says and you quietly nod. 

"We can just figure it out later." Eunchae says, grabbing her purse. "Alright, russian roulette? Whose card are we putting down?! We gotta get to the bars!" Alas, russian roulette occurs and the waitress ends up picking Felix's card. The rest of you cheer loudly before telling Felix you'll send him your halves once the night has finished to cheer him up. All of you grab your things, making sure to check the table one last time before heading out and walking towards the first bar down the street. Your mind slips to San when you see his hotel come in view up ahead, standing tall some few miles away, but bright. Fancy. Modern. You wonder if he's still out and about with the boys, or if they're heading back to the hotel at this point.

Whatever it was, you were not expecting him to be at the same place, at the same time.

The first bar you get to is spacious, with the front panels of the bar opening out onto the street; high tables and chairs underneath umbrellas filled with groups of people drinking and playing games like Jenga and Connect Four.

You and Jurin are holding hands as you follow the group into the bar, heading off to a free section near the right hand of the establishment. As you walk deeper inside, Jurin suddenly stops in her tracks and you hear her audibly gasp.

"Oh my god." Jurin squeals. "No fucking way!" She turns to you and Eunchae, squeezing your hand. At first, you don't even realize it until Jurin nods behind her. Your eyes widen when you find San, Mingi and Christopher eyeing your group, drinking away at their beers. There's a few other people around them that you're familiar with— also bioengineering professors at other universities. He must have heard Jurin because his eyes shoot straight towards you and he has to force himself not to freeze or smile to big seeing you in the flesh.

"The students have made it out." Mingi laughs.

"Oh hey! Familiar faces!" Chris says, raising his almost empty glass of beer in the air as you all settle into the section in front of their table. San looks at you and gives you a small smirk, biting onto his bottom lip as he fiddles with the napkin beneath his empty glass. Although the chances were somewhat high, San didn't think he'd end up at the same bar with his friends.. and your friends. Truthfully, there's so many bars in the area— he just didn't think it would happen like this.

Literally just falling onto his lap and vice versa.

He's not mad about it, though. He's happy to see you. He's just upset he can't do shit about it.

You give him and his friends tiny curt nods before sitting around on the couches in front of a long table. The same kind of games sit in the center, the boys instantly reaching for Jenga while the girls start putting in orders of a mix of shots and cocktails.

Your group gets loud pretty quick.

Enough for San and his friends to watch as entertainment.

Jenga gets pretty heated, as it usually does. You and your friends are probably the loudest in this corner but you don't really care— everyone's have a good time and not causing trouble despite intoxicated. Chris even starts throwing in some side commentary as he watches the game unfold between you, Felix, Eunchae and Jiung. The tower falls as Jiung tries to slip the wooden piece from the third to last level, almost successful until he abruptly pulls it out from its spot and causes the tower to tumble with a loud crash.

"You're usually better than that!" You tease him. 

"Dude, I can't always be good at everything all the time." You laugh. "Besides, where were you?!" He slightly gets in your face, and you're having to playfully push him back by the chest.

San is so..?

He was never really the type to get jealous. San likes to think he's laid back in his relationships and maybe that's where he goes wrong. But tonight, he sees the little flirty tones coming from Jiung. You're drunk and you probably don't realize it, or San is just being dumb because that is your bestfriend. He shakes off the thought because his feelings run deep for you and he doesn't wanna run you off. Clearly, you respect him and vice versa, and not to compare, but you don't have the same mentality and attitude as Iseul.

You're like a breath of fresh air, if that paints a better picture.

He can't help himself when he slightly gets jealous simply because he can't just throw himself on the couch to join your game and tease you. He can't just swing his arm around you and kiss you in front of everyone, he can't just hold your hand and do all that cute, lovey-dovey shit. Which in hindsight, sucks. But, he has you and that's enough to keep him going at this point.

Your group continues to play and cheer loudly, providing entertainment for the professors until they find the bar getting too loud, too crowded and too.. full of university students and postdocs attending the conference— it's definitely a good time to head out.

"Let's head out?" Chris closes out the tab with his card. San's eyes subtly scan you heading to the bathroom, giving him an opportunity to see you for a second because god, he can't fucking help it.

"Yeah. Let me just head to the bathroom." The boys nod, telling him they'll wait outside in the crisp night air. Chris and the rest quickly say their byes to your group as they pass and head outside, San already turning the corner to the hidden hallway at the back of the bar that leads to the bathrooms. San lingers around the bathroom doors nervously, wiping his grubby hands down his jeans. When the bathroom door swings open, you jump at the sudden figure waiting around, the smile on your face growing quickly when you realize who it is.

"Hey you." San smiles that 100-watt, dimpled smile you cherish and adore so much, a small giggle leaving your lips when he leans against the wall and taps your nose.

"In public?"

"You think I wasn't gonna use the bathroom excuse to come see you for a quick second? Insanity." You laugh.

"Hi Sannie."

"So cute." He lets out a breath. "We're heading out, just wanted to say bye before we do." His hand falls on your hip and gives it a squeeze. "Was hoping to steal a kiss."

"We might get in trouble." He chuckles.

"By who?" He presses you against him. "C'mere." He almost whines. You tippy-toe and kiss him on the lips, leaving San to look at you dazed through hooded lids. He chases quickly for another small peck, feeling satisfied enough with the two kisses in a hidden hallway; could keep him going for the remainder of the night 'till he sees you again. "Can you let me know if you wanna come over? I'll hop in a car and come get you."

"Mmkay."

"Y/N! Bae! Are you yacking?!" You push off of San when you hear Jurin's voice echo into the hallway, tucking hair behind your ear as San turns over his shoulder to greet her nonchalantly. "Oh shit?— I mean, hi Professor Choi."

"Hey." He gives her a toothless smile. "Anyway, nice running into you, Y/N." He turns to you with a wink before excusing himself. "Be safe tonight, ladies."

"Will do." Jurin scurries off to your side, giggling while San makes his way back outside to meet his boys. "Girl, what the fuck did I just interrupt?"

"Nothing? He was just saying hi."

"In a secret hallway? Outside of the bathrooms?" She snorts. "Please. You know, I'd support you if you were getting into trouble with him."

"Jurin." You give her a look, internal temp rising at hearing Jurin say things like that.

"Okay, babe." She links her arm with yours. "Glad you weren't yacking, though. Unless Professor Choi saved you there, too."

"Oh my god." When you get back to your friends, as expected, Jurin continues to tease you about the whole San encounter. It doesn't make it any easier when Eunchae joins in, drunkly trying to convince everyone that San actually has the hots for you.

It goes over everyone's heads when the bar gives your friends another round of shots on the house. Thankfully.

When a good hour and a half passes, the group decides it's time to head to another bar. 

And another.

And another.

To drink more, to play games, to dance, to be loud. Though, all you really want now is to be with San.

As the last bar gets a little too crowded and chaotic for your liking, you start to wind down on the drinks— feeling a bit too full, too tipsy, than you planned to be tonight. You check the time, and it's getting close to 11pm, people still high on energy. The night doesn't seem to be dying down soon, but all you can think of is getting to San and cuddling up to him all night. The need to be with him is incredibly strong right now, and you don't think you'll let the night pass without being alone with him.

What can you tell your friends this time?

"I'm gonna head out." You let Jiung know, dipping close to his ear.

"What?" He looks at you, confused.

"I'm just gonna go—" He doesn't even let you finish when he's cutting you off, ready to leave with you.

"Then, let me come with—"

"No. I promise I'm good, Jiung. You stay and have fun, please."

"Who are you heading out with?" You pause for a second, trying to come up with anything that'll get you off the hook without being too suspicious.

"I'm meeting up with Sunwoo, Belle and people from the lab at another bar."

"Do you want me to at least head over with you if its close?"

"I'm calling Uber. Promise I'll be okay." He's hesitant, but he doesn't push.

"Text me when you get there, then." He gives you a look and you nod. At this point, the Uber is pulling up to the bar you're at— the driver giving you a call to let you know he's made it out front. You quickly tell Eunchae, Felix, Jurin and your other friends that you're heading out to see your labmates and luckily, no one bats an eye.

Besides Jiung, maybe. Only out of worry, you think. He's coming from a good place. Everyone else is too busy enjoying themselves, kick starting the trip on a good note. 

He just thinks it's weird.

When you hop in the Uber, you confirm your endpoint destination before leaning your head against the window. The driver's got the AC on blast, which is definitely your saving grace right now. You don't realize just how drunk you've gotten until you're resting in the back seat of this car, hoping the ride doesn't contain too many twists and turns on the side streets until you get to San's 5-star hotel.

It doesn't. Thankfully.

It's a good 15-min ride away from the bar, just a few turns and tiny hard brakes due to unexpected street traffic. But, the ride feels quick. You shoot San a text and he re-tells you he's on the 14th floor, room 1412. He asks if you need him to meet you downstairs and you say no, clearly remembering that San said the other professors typically stay at this hotel, too.

In which, you miss Yunho passing you on the opposite side of the lobby. He feels like he saw you, but wasn't confident enough to say exactly. It wasn't uncommon for students to book rooms at this hotel— it just wasn't a top choice due to price despite the close proximity to the conference venue. Yunho can't help but do a double take just as you head to the elevator, realizing it was too late to get a good look at you.

Definitely feels familiar.

You slip into an empty elevator, pressing the button to the 14th floor multiple times until the elevator doors shut. You shoot your friends a text to let them know you've arrived and all is well, giving them a heads up that you might be sticking with Belle for the night and to not wait up. No one responds, so you figured your friends were still busy enjoying themselves and they'd see the text at some point. You rub your arms at the sudden drop of temperature in the elevator, looking at your mesh shirt and your black leather mini skirt through the mirrors on the walls. Truthfully, after a couple of hours out and being enclosed in a stuffy bar, you're surprised you still look put-together. You fix at your baby hairs and adjust your skirt a bit, still feeling wobbly and like the world is slightly spinning. The elevator dings and the doors slide open, pulling you out of your thoughts as you step out and look around for the hallway that leads to San's room. It's at this moment you realize you don't have anything with you— no clothes or things to shower with— and you're praying San [or the hotel] has some extras he could spare for you. 

You know you're definitely staying the night.

1412 finally comes into view and you feel your heart skip a beat, a big smile growing on your lips as you knock on the door a few times. You hear shuffling in the background before San swings the door open, revealing himself in sweats and a white tank. 

You feel your knees buckle, core throbbing and aching for him badly.

"San!" You squeal, jumping onto him. He laughs, holding you tightly. "Finally!"

"Baby." He tuts. "You should've let me know when you were ready so I could come back out and get you."

"I made it, though! I told Jiung I was seeing Sunwoo and Belle somewhere."

"Hm." San hums. "Do you even know where Sunwoo and Belle are?"

"Nope." He laughs. "Mm'drunk." You pout as you drop down and look up at him.

"I see, pretty girl. Did you have fun?"

"I did. But, I wanted to come over already. I wanted to cuddle."

"You can have all the cuddles you want." San smiles, brushing your hair back before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. "You look amazing, baby. Any guys slip you their number after we left?"

"Maybe?" You tease and he pouts. "I'm kidding. I'd toss it anyway."

"Yeah?" He laughs.

"Sannie." You whine, wrapping your arms around him drunkly. "You know what else sounds good right now?" He chuckles, holding you close while rubbing at your sides.

"What's that?"

"A chocolate chip cookie with ice cream."

"I can call room service again." He smiles, brushing your hair back. "Why don't you go get washed up and comfy, angel?"

"Mmkay." San presses a kiss to your forehead before grabbing you one of his shirts to change into and setting it on the edge of the bed. "Come on." He leads you to the bathroom, helping you out of your boots and your clothes before checking the water temp and getting you into the shower. The hot water feels good against your skin, almost helping you sober up a bit more as you let your body relax. San calls for room service to order your dessert, along with requesting for your clothes to be dry-cleaned and returned in the morning. San hears you drop one of the bottles in the shower, causing him to peek into the bathroom to hear you giggling. 

"You okay in there, love?"

"Yeah, sorry. Just trying to do the body wash but it slipped." San smiles to himself.

"Careful." He rests back against the headboard after hanging up your clothes on a hanger and slipping it through the plastic cover. You take another 10 minutes before you step out of the steamy shower in nothing but a towel. San turns to watch you from the bed, door cracked just enough to see you lathering up with the hotel's free lotion sitting on the bathroom counter. He has to pull himself together when the knock from room service comes, San hurriedly getting the door to grab the dessert and hand off your clothes. You hear San tell whoever is at the door to charge everything to his room before the door shuts close and he's back on the bed.

"Who was that?"

"Room service."

"Did you actually order the cookie?!" He nods.

"Yeah, and sent your clothes off for dry cleaning."

"San." You pout. "You didn't have to."

"Don't worry about it." He looks at you from the bed. "C'mere. Your ice cream is gonna melt." He has a hand behind his head as he lazily rests on the bed and against the headboard. He pats his free side, TV softly playing in the background.

"I gotta change." You walk out and sit on the edge of the bed near him, still wrapped in your towel.

"I mean, you don't really need to. I'll probably get you out of that shirt in a bit anyway." He smirks.

"Mm." You hum. "Don't say things like that, Choi San." You unwrap the bowl with a mini cookie pie sitting inside, vanilla ice cream on top starting to melt into it. 

"Still drunk?" San rubs your arm and presses a light kiss to your shoulder.

"Not too bad. Shower definitely helped. This will absolutely help." He chuckles. "Thank you." You turn to him just as you take a spoonful. 

"Course." He lets out a breath as he continues to watch you eat. "I missed you." He lays small, feathery kisses on your arm.

"I did too, Sannie. How was hanging out with the boys?" He shrugs.

"It was good. I'm just tired. But I'm glad you're here." You giggle as you look at him, his arm now wrapped behind you. 

"Want some? It's good!" You feed San another spoonful, a wad of vanilla ice cream sticking to the corner of his lips. Kinda brings you back to the first time you kissed him, except, circumstances are definitely different now.

Aka you missed San, and you've been yearning for him.

"It is good!" You smirk, placing the spoon down on the edge of the plate before coming down to lick the ice cream off from the corner of his lips. You maintain eye contact with him while you gently grip his jaw, placing a kiss to the same corner after licking off the ice cream clean. 

"I got you." You say softly, causing San to smirk wider.

"So fucking sexy, swear to God." It almost comes off as a low growl. "Uh-uh. You're not going anywhere after that." You squeal when San pulls you back down with some force, instantly pressing his lips to yours in a heated kiss.

"San—" You giggle in between kisses, letting out another loud squeal when he sits you on his lap, giving you full access to straddle him. "My towel!"

"Fuck the towel." You laugh, letting San tear off the towel from your body, tossing it aside. The kiss turns sloppy, wet; the both of you licking into each other's mouths while you slowly rut against him. He's quick to rip off his tank, chasing after your lips because he doesn't wanna waste a second away from you. The need, want, is strong; as if the universe has kept you and San away from each other for light years.

Every touch, every kiss, burned like ember— fueled by desire, cravings. Spreading quick like a wildfire: consuming, impossible to contain.

"Missed you so much, baby." San whispers against your skin as you settle back on his lap after shredding off his pants and boxer briefs, his hands caressing your back. You line him up at your entrance, slowly sinking down onto his hard cock. He nods eagerly, hazing eyes looking up at you as he relaxes again— hand behind his head while you lazily rock your hips back and forth to adjust the feeling. "Gonna be my good girl and ride me? Gonna use me like you need to?"

"San." You breathily moan, head cocking back in pure pleasure when you find the perfect rhythm to work with. Your hands rest on his abs, hips swirling and slowly working in circular motions on his rock hard cock. 

"Oh fuck— just like that sweetheart." He lets out a groan, looking up at you through hooded lids while he continues to let you do all the work. "Fuck, yes—" He moans loudly, matching your tone as you pick up your pace. He hisses in between, hearing your slickness against him while you go between bouncing on his cock to rolling your hips— clit rubbing against him so deliciously it's fulfilling that desire, craving, for San within you. San is completely taken by how mesmerizing, yet so sinful you look riding him the way that you are; pretty perked tits, beautifully shaped curves, plump lips.

"Sannie, feels so good— mmshit." You mewl, fucking him faster as your hands crawl up to his neck— gripping around the base at just the right pressure. 

"Baby. Gonna make me cum if you keep moving on my shit like that— fuuuuck." He lets out a loud, choked moan as you continue; fast, rough. Both of your moans blending into each other's, names being called like a mantra. The scene is nothing short of pornographic, loud, wet noises of skin against skin bouncing off of the walls while you continue to ride your man into the next lifetime. "Fucking me so good. So perfect. All mine." He praises you.

So pretty.

My girl.

All mine.

No one else's.

"Close. Please cum with me." You whimper and beg, hips now getting sloppier, messier.

"Yeah, that's it. Let me feel you." Your hips continue to work him, pleasure building at your core until you finally tip over the edge; stilling in your position while you moan filthily, trembling as your orgasm washes over you completely. "Yes baby, yes— give it to me." Your hands are now on San's chest to keep you steady, San roughly fucking up into you. Hearing you whine, along with the way your walls tightly clenching around his dick is enough for him to unravel; his turn to whine and whimper while digging his hands into the flesh of your hips. He groans as he releases every drop inside of you, chest heaving as he tries to regulate himself and calm down from the orgasm hitting him too hard.

"Oh my god." You pant, slowly sliding off of him when you finally muster the rest of your energy to do so. You plop next to him, San also still trying to regain some energy post-high.

"Sounds about right." He chuckles. "That was amazing, angel." San presses a kiss to your head before grabbing some napkins to help clean the both of you up.

"Was a good time using you." You tease, scooting next to him. "Before I forget, I have something." You lean over the side of the bed to grab the polaroid from your purse, turning onto your tummy to show it to San.

"You're so pretty, sweetheart." He smiles, grabbing it from your hands and slipping it into his phone case turned wallet. He slides it into one of the sleeves before setting his phone back down on the nightstand and pecking you on the lips. "Thank you."

"You're really gonna keep it there?" He nods.

"I always have my phone with me so, yeah."

"What if it slips out and falls?"

"I would never let that happen to your picture." He chuckles, watching as you fall back onto the mattress and allowing San to pull you into his arms. "You guys look like you really enjoyed yourselves on the first night."

"Mm. Yeah. We had fun. I'm just happy to be here now." 

"Thank whoever took that cute ass photo of you for me." You laugh and nod.

"What're you doing tomorrow? Any plans before or after the first day of the conference?"

"Hm. I have breakfast with Namjoon and everyone in the morning. Not sure about nighttime, but I'd carve out time for you." You smile.

"Breakfast with the group sounds nice. And god, I hope I can come over again, but I think Jiung and Eunchae wanna explore. We'll see." He nods, pressing a kiss to your head. "Wish I could just stay here, San."

"You could." You look at him and he lets out a small laugh, brushing your hair back. "I know, baby. One day, we won't have to keep planning around like this."

"I know."

"Would you travel with me?" San continues to look down at you as you rest on his bare chest.

"If I had the money to. And if it wasn't too suspicious for class and such." He nods. "You're traveling often these next weeks."

"Mhm. But, I wish you could be there with me. Wish I didn't have to leave you back there with my friends and Jeong Yunho." You chuckle.

"I wish I could too, Sannie."

"Come to the coast side with me for the Baskin conference, at least. Please?" San traces faint shapes on your side. "Students head off to conferences all the time. It won't be that suspicious for you to travel for this, too."

"You sure, babe? Cause what student can even afford to head to multiple conferences in a short amount of time?"

"I've seen a good amount. It's not that uncommon." He shrugs, and you let out a small sigh. "No pressure. But, I really want to be there with you. I'll take care of your ticket and everything. I'm sure your professors will understand, too." He gently kisses your forehead. "And.. maybe, I can take you around the world with me in the future."

"Is that what you want?"

"More than anything."

"I want that, too."

"Then, let's make it happen." You giggle against him, shutting your eyes as the exhaustion slowly takes over your body. San's warmth engulfs you as he continues to hold you close, keeping the TV on until he feels himself getting sleepy. Its nights like these that make him feel whole, that make him feel like he's on top of the world again. And god, does he love this feeling— the feeling that you bring to him, the euphoria he gets whenever he's around you.

Hugging you.

Kissing you.

Making love to you.

There's nothing more that he wants than to keep you happy, and he'll keep himself here for as long as he can. 

"Night, baby." He whispers against your forehead, leaving sweet, gentle kisses to your face until he settles under the sheets properly and keeps you close.

The next days are filled with jam-packed information from the conference, with you, Jiung and a few colleagues checking out the scheduled talks and chopping it up with vendors to see what the latest versions of supplies and equipment are. Today was San's talk, along with other keynote speeches and poster session day, so you were up and at 'em early to support your man and Sunwoo. You tried your best to not relive the weekend to avoid any mishaps or slip ups, avoiding any conversation or confrontation about it this entire time.

And you were doing good, especially since the days were hectic.

Until said tiny slip up passes by so unexpectedly. 

You were so, so close.

—FLASHBACK

"Oh, aye! She's here! Nice to see you!" Your labmates quickly say hello as they pass you in the opposite direction. "It would've been nice to see you at the bar the other night, Y/N!"

"Wait what, I thought you went?" Jiung furrows his brows at you, and you feel your palms get all sweaty.

"That group went somewhere else."

"Oh? But, you, Sunwoo and Belle stayed behind?"

"Mhm."

"Y/N, if you're hooking up with someone in the lab, you can just say so." He snorts and you playfully punch him on the bicep.

"Ew, no! I'm not, Jiung." You pout. "We just liked the bar we were at."

"Hm." Jiung hums. "Okay then." He shrugs, still not really believing you left to meet up with Sunwoo and them. But, he digresses. He'll let you open up to him when you're ready. Jiung just knows, though.

Jiung knows you haven't really been seeing your mom.

Jiung knows you didn't really see Sunwoo and Belle.

And he could probably thank the fact that he knows you so well— he knows that a lie is hard for you to keep up with. It'll unravel, eventually. It is. Slowly.

What it actually is, though, he's curious?

What is it that you can't even tell him, your bestfriend?

—END

"Where's Professor Choi's talk?"

"In the Verve conference room. I think it's on the opposite side." You pull out the venue map.

"We should go so we can get good seats. Same thing for Professor Kim's talk right after." You nod, clinging onto Jiung's arm to navigate the sea of people making their way around the venue to get to particular talks and poster sessions currently happening for different branches of neuroscience subjects. When you get to the Verve conference room, there's still some spots open, but not too many. You, Jiung and your colleagues slip into the fourth row towards the end, still getting a good view of the stage from the seats. There's still about another 10 minutes before San's scheduled to speak, but the room filled up quickly after you and your friends arrived. You spot Zara slipping into a front row seat with Mingi. Your eyes linger on her for a little longer than you'd like, seeing how she sits so prim and proper— a huge smile on her face as she patiently waits for San to get on stage.

You can't say you don't feel a little scared and insecure seeing her. You do. She's right up his alley, and one day, he could see that.

He could see the reality of this.

Before you can fall into the rabbit hole, the lights dim and the host steps on stage to introduce San. Your man steps onto the stage in black dress pants, a white button up and matching black vest and tie. He's got his rimless frames on, hair falling neatly to the sides of his face, his forehead. He kicks off his talk, his voice enough to captivate the audience from the get-go. You are truly enamored and in complete awe every time San does a talk. The stage isn't huge, but enough for him to pace around. He always has presentation slides, but his slides contain more photos and figures than words. He does a brief glance at the current slide, pacing around the stage slowly as he explains its contents in a smooth, calm manner. He has a hand in his pant pocket, while the other is used for hand gestures at the same time as holding the slide clicker. Other times, both hands are out for gestures. You know San never uses the same presentation for every talk, so it's crazy to see him discuss each point so perfectly; enough to paint its picture, but not overwhelming with details. He always scans the audience, his eyes falling on you a few times amidst the talk. He has brief pauses, speaks without slipping in filler words. When he smiles and slips in small jokes, he has the ability to make everyone feel the same energy tenfold— entire audience smiling, nodding or chuckling in response. He answers every question during the Q&A session, being able to express his thoughts and concerns freely without holding back.

He is honest, and he is the definition of passionate when it comes to his craft. 

When his time is up, he gives the audience a bow before seeing himself off the stage and down into the audience to talk to a few people. Most are heading out to catch other talks, while others are lingering to get even a second in with San. The first person that lingers around and sticks by San's side is Zara, along with Christopher. They all chat together before San is acknowledging colleagues around them— some very well-known professors from global universities, some Nobel laureates. It's crazy to see San in this environment outside of school, the lab, because it's still crazy to know he's considered young in his field but incredibly talented and sought out. 

"I'm gonna say hi to Professor Choi." Jiung nods.

"Okay. We should get to Professor Kim's talk soon, though."

"We will." You nod, leaving him behind with your colleagues who are now talking to other professors and familiar faces nearby. You waltz over to San, slowly slipping your way through while he's talking to Zara a bit more. His eyes land on you and they instantly light up, causing Zara to break and put a pause in their conversation when you approach them.

"Hi Professor Choi, Professor Cho. Really great talk you did." You shyly say to him, keeping it professional and lowkey.

"Thank you." He smiles at you. "This is Y/N, she's the rotation student in my lab." San looks over at Zara. She smiles at you and takes your hand in a gentle shake. She's sweet, you think. And she definitely still has the hots for your man.

"Yes, hi Y/N! I've heard lots about the work you've already done in Professor Choi's lab. He seems to be a big fan." You feel the heat rise to your cheeks before you chuckle and brush off the comment. 

"Oh, really? I'd hope so." You briefly look at San, who is just standing there— pursing his lips together in a fine line to prevent himself from smirking too big. But, his eyes tell all, and the brief moment Zara looks between you two; it's a little clearer to her who you might just be to him. "It's really nice to meet you Professor Cho. Your talk was great."

"Thank you. Definitely was not as major as Professor Choi's though, talk about the turnout." She looks around, then looks up at him. There's awe, admiration, probably even a sprinkle of lust if you look closely. 

Could be just you, but whatever. You know that look when you see it. Plus it's San— who the fuck wouldn't?

"Nah, not even. Your talk was amazing and had just the right amount of info. Not too heavy, flowed easily." He reassures her and you awkwardly stand there before tucking a strand of hair back and excusing yourself.

"I agree with him." You chime in. "Anyway, sorry have to cut this short, but I have to get going to Professor Kim's talk. Just wanted to pop in and praise you both for the amazing talks." You look at Zara again as she continues to stick to San's side. "It was lovely to formally meet you, Professor Cho." You give San one last, toothless smile before re-joining Jiung near the exit doors of the conference room, heading straight to the opposite end to hear Namjoon's lecture starting in the next 10 mins. As Zara returns her attention to San, she finds his eyes still lingering on you even as you leave.

And she could be reading it all wrong, but she, too, knows that look when she sees it.

"Uh, so." San says, finally meeting her eyes. "I'm gonna head over to Namjoon's in a few too, if you'd like to join me." She shakes her head.

"I've gotta meet up with an old colleague in a bit. We'll try and catch it if we can, but we've got lots of catching up to do." San nods.

"Well, enjoy yourself, Zara." He smiles. "I'll catch you around." He steps away, shaking hands and briefly greeting a few others on his way out, leaving Zara behind to navigate through the crowd on her own. She eventually finds her colleague going down the row of posters set up along the side of the main venue room, waving to her to get her attention. She jogs over and gives her a tight hug, one that she feels like she really needed at this time.

"Hey you!" Zara says. "Sorry, San's talk just wrapped up."

"Oh, you don't say?" Her colleague and friend, Yu, says teasingly. "How was San's talk? How's it been working with him? Have you two gotten closer or whatever?" She smirks at her and Zara shakes her head with a small, choked up chuckle.

"It was great! Amazing as usual." She looks at the ground. "We're just colleagues, and I'm afraid it'll stay that way. Probably best, anyway."

"What?! I thought there was a little spark?! It sounded like it was gonna go somewhere and I was so excited to hear the next episode!" Zara laughs. 

"It's fine, I promise. He's got his eyes on someone else and I think he's happy." Not gonna lie, as she explains this, all she can think about is: how heartbreaking.

Of course, she can't say for certain. She's going off of gut feelings and subtle [but obvious] actions. But even if it were true, she can't help but question: why? All of it would be so, so wrong on the surface level. You'd be dating your professor, and the both of you could ruin a lot of things for each other.

Perhaps, San sees it all as worth it. 

Zara wonders what you do that makes him feel that way. In hindsight, they could have been good for each other. It felt like it. She thought they'd hit it off from their small meetings and the way she slowly learned more things about him. They were professors well on their way to bigger things. Even though she had nothing but assumptions, she still couldn't shake the feeling she had in her gut.

Where did she lack that you made up for?

—read 8.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny

[kanmom51]

Like Crazy - new insights

*This is a reposting of my latest reblog due to issues with that specific post.

***This has been sitting in my drafts since April 2023!!!

This is the post I reblogged and the basis to my own post.

Yep. I had some of a post written way back in April 2023, but the pieces just didn't come all together for me.

After Muse's release and specifically after the BTB yesterday where JM discussed Who, Muse and the lyrics, we also saw the change made to Who's lyrics from "you" to "she" things started to clear up for me. But then, a friend also shared a picture of the original lyrics of Like Crazy, which were subsequently altered before recording. We discussed these changes and I now feel that this is it! This is the missing piece to my post.

I mostly left what I wrote over a year ago in tact, adding the missing pieces to this puzzle that makes this post with what I feel is a little more insight into Like crazy.

Needless to say, these are my opinions, how I see the lyrics, the ones that made the cut and the ones that stayed in JM's lyrics journal.

So, let's get started:

Here I was thinking I'm the only one who was seeing this...

I do hope I'm reading this right, before going off motormouth about something that maybe isn't what is being said, but to hell with it, this is something I've been thinking too and I'm just gonna come out and say it.

We're all over 18 here right?

This is a subject we can talk about?

The more I listen to this song, the more I think it to be true too.

First of all, before starting off, I want to link this ask:

**Shock and awe... "she" wasn't part of the original lyrics for Like Crazy . Colour me surprised to learn the same is true with Who (even though JM didn't actually write the song himself). Oh, and if we are on that subject already, how not surprising to see the process of writing the song with John Billion, who happens to be one of the writers of SNTY as well (me sitting here thinking of several words and references that could have been somehow suggested and inserted into the song. No idea who (nah, I'm telling lies, I know exactly who). How shocking (NOT) to see that the artist actually had input with the song lyrics of which he is not credited in writing.

Again, the depth of the song, the layers to the song and the multiple interpretations too.

JM told us this song is about him struggling. He told us he was going through a period where he was drinking too much. He was finding fulfillment in ways other than performing, as performing is part of him, he is a performer, someone who needs the stage to express himself. The stage is where he is at peace, the stage being a piece of him that he was missing.

We saw his outburst of emotions in the first day of MOTS ON:E (that was my first experience of BTS and he literally broke my heart - and later seeing him being mocked for it infuriated me).

This was October 2020, around 6 months into the pandemic. The uncertainty. This is their first online performance and from there until Muster another 9 months go by. We know from Festa 2022 that the pandemic screwed up all of their plans. The uncertainty, working on and releasing BE and then Butter and PTD everything leading up to the PTD online concert, a year after MOTS ON:E. For those that performing is their life, standing in front of an audience and giving it their all, it's a hard pill to swallow. The unknown, if they will ever get back to perform on stage in front of a live audience, when this is who they are, their essence, it can be unbearable. JM wasn't the only performer to go through this. It's just that he shared this with us. He showed us his pain and vulnerability and was mocked for it by many. Shame on them!!!

So, again, JM told us with Like Crazy, that he was filling in that hole. Alcohol was mentioned by him specifically. But listening to the song, I think it's quite clear that sex was a very big part of it as well. Looking for that rush, that high. It's clear as day, for me anyway, in the lyrics.

(I think we could last forever I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)

[Verse 1] She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, you can leave it Stay with me until today

[Verse 2] Watch me go Wet me all night (Away) And morning too Don't come if you're drunk

In this loud music It fades me It's a drama-like story I'm get used to it Have you come far to find me that you used to know? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)

[Chorus] I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Interlude] Mmm-hmm Yeah, hey Mmm-hmm Ooh-woah Mmm-hmm Mmm-hmm (Forever, you and I)

[Verse 3] Me reflects in the mirror I'm going crazy without hesitation I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Outro] This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Those are the lyrics he recorded.

But you see, there were changes made to the lyrics he was working on originally, and we got to see some of them.

This specifically:

Reading this draft and the final ones there are a few things that just fall into place for me (and I'd think for anyone that reads them), loud and clear:

First of all, obviously JM is singing about drinking too much alcohol. If the final lyrics hinted to losing himself in alcohol, the draft lyrics are ever so clear regarding that point.

Second of all, the sex. I think JM was pretty straight forward using the wording he was using. "Give me a good ride" can be other things, if you twist it around to try and explain it away, but bottom line, those lines within the context of the lines in the draft, like "just go turn off the light, you and me..." not to mention the whole chorus, to me the reference is obvious.

Next, I talked about the many references to JK in this song in this post:

This is all also relevant when it comes to my next point being the fact that to me it's clear that JM wrote this song referencing a special someone with whom he shares a high level of intimacy. A special someone that was there by his side when JM was struggling. A special someone that was struggling seeing JM going through everything he was.

To that person JM wrote (in the draft): "oh baby don't you cry, just wanna see your smile..."

These lines, they were too much. Too obvious. Too intimate. And they were left out probably because of just that.

So JM went with other lines. A little less obvious perhaps, and yet still very telling. The finale of the song:

No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Now, you could claim that the song is about an inner struggle. JM struggling with himself, talking to himself, and yes, that could very much be part of the message JM, the king of layering, is going for. But see, that's exactly the point. JM is the king of layering, of having several meanings and messages within his lyrics and creations. And this is not different. There is no mistaking the reference to another person, not JM himself, in the lyrics. The way he uses the "you" in the lyrics, at times could pass as you being the alcohol, at times the you being himself in the mirror, but at times it's clearly a third party he is talking to. Especially in that finale to the song, that someone that wants to lift him out of that stupor he is in, to wake him up, to save him, when he is unwilling, not ready to accept that help just yet (same person he asks not to cry, knowing that he is making them sad). There are also the clear JK references in this song. The "you are me I am you" being the loudest of them all.

But JM being JM, he showed us in his own way what this song was about, opening up and allowing us to see his drafts.

And then he gave us Letter. Hidden, and private and intimate. Addressed not to us, but to that person that was always there by his side, that person he addresses in Like Crazy telling him "forever you and I". Now, in Letter, being in a better, healthier place, he can repeat the sentiment of them together forever. A sentiment JK had mentioned in the past (omg, that was so very awkward).

And now using lines like : "I sincerely hope we are forever" and "But don’t forget that we’re always together"...

The lyrics, the sentiments, the drafted lyrics that never made it, like the use of "Dangshin", I have talked about it all. Letter was for JK. Period.

When seeing Like Crazy again, the lyrics, the struggle, the person by his side, the intimacy, and Letter, I'm kind of thinking that not only is Letter a love ode to JK. That is stating the obvious. But it's also JM's acknowledgement and thank you to that person that stood by his side in his most difficult of times.

JK.

Bottom line:

Like crazy is about JM struggling and self medicating with alcohol and sex.

It's personal about himself, his struggles, but also includes a person that is there by his side, one he is highly intimate with, one who is there with him together. That person is there, spending the nights with him, in that escape world JM created for himself. Sad seeing JM struggle, trying to find a way to help JM out of that pit but being unable to do so, staying by JM's side all the same.

We know who that person is.

Same person he addresses Letter to.

[dumbseee]

Request if your requests are open

Singer!Reader x (driver of your choice)

After their break up she seems fine, takes a 3-day break up off social media but otherwise she's the same as before, so people keep judging her for not being sad enough :(. cuz the driver seems sad and isn't doing well in races but she doesn't show anything and they attack her etc.(not a BIG hate campaign but ppl just make assumptions abt it)

Thanks in advance

Then BOOM she releases "hits different" (by taylor swift) and the fans connect the dots between her relationship and the song

happy face.

charles leclerc x singer!reader.

fc: madison beer.

note: thanks for the request! i really like your idea i hope you don’t mind that i used charles as the driver!

liked by selenagomez, kaiagerber, kyliejenner and 2 891 009 others.

y/n: mother is back.

_

fan1: YEEESSSSSS

fan2: she broke up with charles after three years together and took just three days off social media? that girl is so weird…

fan3: right? while charles is miserable and all sad

fan4: omg y’all are so ANNOYING let my girl enjoy her single life

theweeknd: 🔥

fan5: even if she decided to come back after one minute, that’s her choice

fan6: y’all just love to hate on pretty girls

fan7: charles saw the gold digger in her and left lmao

fan8: gold digger where? homegirl was a billionaire before she was even born LMAO

fan9: don’t come for my girl

fan10: charles’s fans back at it again

fan11: at least she’ll be free from the vultures

fan12: i never liked her tbh

fan13: how can she party and smile like that after a break up?

fan14: i feel so bad for charles…

fan15: charles deserves so much more

view all comments.

liked by arianagrande, zendaya, zayn and 3 910 009 others.

y/n: ‘hits different’ is now out :) ps: reminder to be kind to people.

_

comments have been disabled.

liked by hunterschaffer, arthur_leclerc, carla.brocker and 4 819 009 others.

y/n: thanks you so much for the love ‘hits different’ received! it is my most vulnerable piece of work and putting it out there was hard, but i knew i had to. break ups are never easy, no matter how happy someone can be on the outside, they may be battling their hardest battles inside. but i’ll get better, like they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

_

fan1: i’m crying while reading this because it hits so hard, i’m in the middle of a break up and it hurt so bad, thank you y/n.

liked by y/n.

fan2: with one song she managed to put the whole world on pause

fan3: this woman’s lyrics are INSANE they never miss

fan4: she wrote it with her heart it hits so hard

fan5: the way the internet bullied her because she wasn’t « sad enough » is insane to me like wtf??

fan6: you never know what someone is going through behind closed doors, let’s be nicer to each other guys

fan7: i’m sorry but these people are just dumb, she stayed with that guy for YEARS ofc she’s going to be sad

fan8: nah but she clearly confirmed that charles is the one who ended the relationship, so why isn’t he receiving hate?

fan9: i feel so bad for her

fan10: QUEEN

taylorswift: genius!

view all comments.

taglist: @ferrariloverr

[spookykoolkat]

I absolutely adore your writing!

I wanted to request a Eddie Munson and plus size!Henderson!reader smut!

After dropping Dustin off after Hellfire one night Eddie finally meets Dustin’s sister who is essentially the female version of Eddie. He is smitten with her but doesn’t show it in fear it will mess up him and Dustin’s relationship. He makes excuses to come over to the house more often (which the reader notices). She teases him on purpose, short skirts, low cut shirts, little touches when they pass each other. She’s driving him crazy. One night Dustin invites him over for a movie night and to discuss the new campaign, when Eddie and the reader are the only ones left awake will the tension be to much? Will he finally crack?

eddie m. - your brother's rocker best friend

main masterlist

an: hiii!!! thank u sm for the request AND all the love i've gotten on my work 🖤🖤 i hope this does your request justice omg!! 😭 because i sure as hell really liked writing it idkidkidk eddie in this one is just so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 anyways pls feel free to send more requests, i appreciate all the love omg like i didnt know so many ppl would like my writing especially being new to writing on tumblr 🥹TYSM OMG PLS I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS THIS i love the feedback! also this is hardly proof read so. yeah :p

warnings: 18+ only, minors dni! minors are NOT welcomed. eddie x plus size!reader, eddie x henderson!reader. this is pure filth, pure smut, literally porn with a plot. p in v (unprotected) *this is fiction pls protect urself*, slight exhibitionism (if u squint), oral sex (f receiving), mirror sex kind of, pet names, dirty talk, spanking/slapping, eddie being eddie

wc: 8.5k

summary: you're dustin's older sister, and notice his best friend taking a particular liking to you.

when eddie first realized who dustin’s older sister was, he was mind fucked. when dustin told eddie about you, dustin made it a note to emphasize the fact that he and you were the same age, and had eddie been, as dustin put it, ‘normal student,’ he would’ve graduated the same year as his sister. but, eddie remembered who you were. very vividly, and when he met you again formally at dustin’s house about a year ago—let’s just say eddie was obsessed with everything that had to do with you. he listened to the music you blasted from your room once he got into his van, he remembered the movies you watched so he could watch them and know why you liked them so much, and he remembered the books you carried and the ones you would read in your living room on his way to dustin’s basement. he wanted to consume you in every way.

"i can't really stay long dustin, Wayne's been getting on my ass," eddie said as dustin dragged him to his front door.

"yeah yeah, whatever, come on i just got this new comic, you have to see it," he said eagerly and eddie just sighed, waiting for dustin's knocking to be heard. and it was.

"dustin i swear if you don't have your key i'm going to literally rip-" you yelled through the front door as you swung it open, not to see only dustin but the guy you went to school with who you knew as the local weed supplier.

"what are you doing with my brother?" you spit, ignoring the fact that eddie looked a little starstruck. he didn't even hear you because of how loud your outfit was, the way your body was tight against your little dress you had in, how your tits looked pressed together, the way your hand rested on your hip as you looked at him irritatedly.

"don't start," dustin said and pushed passed you, telling eddie to come on.

"uh, i'm eddie," he introduced and you smiled through your small laugh, opening the door.

"yeah, i know who you are," you said and he almost thought he felt a shiver down his spine. you knew him, you knew who he was. and now that he saw you in person, he realized he overestimated his will power to be a gentleman and not get hard just at the sight of you.

"go ahead, but you're not staying long. ten minutes." you said strictly and he nodded frantically, stepping inside and following dustin straight to the basement, his eyes looking back for yours as you shut the door and turned, giving him a smile.

he was fucked. that was the start of a year long obsession he tried so desperately to hide. and failed.

you noticed eddie and you had the same interests, you heard megadeth and soundgarden blast through his radio in his shitty van dropping dustin off late, and even in school you saw the patches of rock and metal bands you liked on his backpack, or the studs on his jean jacket. you liked his style and like him, you carried the punk rock edge to you with multiple facial piercings and your black clothing. you enjoyed your style, even in high school you managed to apply dark makeup and were only allowed on piercing, so you kept your lip one. you grew into your own as you got older, only having a liking for horror and sci-fi movies, metal, rock and goth music, and loving your dark dull aesthetic. and eddie liked it too, he actually couldn’t believe how sexy you made looking and dressing like a ‘freak.’

you also noticed these last few months eddie has been coming over a lot more frequently, sometimes at night, sometimes early in the morning to take dustin to school. you didn’t realize until he came over three days in a row, and noticed he would linger in the same room you were in while dustin was off doing his usual around the house, or he’d make comments about the movie you’d be watching and then leave. you never minded it of course, you liked talking to him, you actually felt seen around him and he made you feel like the two of you could relate a lot more than you think.

you also kind of liked to push how far you could go with his boundaries. you’ve had a small crush on him since he started coming around a year ago, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter when he’d greet you with a small hug, or a blush when he’d tell you he liked the outfit you had on. but as the months went on you noticed your words took effect on him too, and you relished in the fact that you knew you could make him squirm a bit.

he enjoyed it even though he knew what you were doing, even though he was going fucking insane. he refused to indulge in his fantasies, in dropping hints that he wanted you in every way possible, he refused to risk his own relationship with your brother. he tried for the entire year he and your brother were friends, to ignore the things you do involuntarily. he didn’t know if half the things you did were on purpose or not, but he had to choke down groans seeing you bend over in tight black dresses, he had to refrain from sneaking into your room just so he can see what it looks like. he hated that you did this to him, that you could be this damn sexy it’s like it was doomed from the beginning.

it was the night dustin had a few friends over for a small get together, one of them being eddie and the others being his usual friend group, mike, el, max, lucas, will and steve as well. steve was forced to go by dustin and eddie, eddie mainly begging because he didn’t want to be the only babysitter there.

you were wearing your usual lounging around outfit when you decided to change because you were heading out that night with a few friends, and you got into your usual all black outfit. only this time you had on black mini skirt on that barely covered your ass as you walked, so to help with coverage you chose black sheer, nearly see through, tights underneath that were slightly torn and ripped, and your top was a deep cut baby tee that was black with rhinestones on it. it was cute to you, you loved skimpy clothes as much as anyone else did and you loved the way it hugged onto your thick body.

you just finished your makeup when you decided to slip on your black heeled boots and go downstairs to gather your things. it was kind of like in the movies when the woman steps down the stairs in her ballgown, having her date gawk at her. only this time you had two little pieces of clothes dripped in all black, and eddie was the one gawking at you while everyone paid attention to the game they were playing.

“i can’t believe i’m here. where the fuck is robin and nance?” steve huffed as he slumped in his seat, eating his pizza.

“you know you should be more grateful to spend time with us, asshole. we could all die tomorrow!” dustin exclaimed from his seat, and steve just rolled his eyes.

“how about in right now?” he mumbled.

eddie wasn’t too focused on anything except the music coming from upstairs, is that the cranberries?, he asked himself, trying to crane his neck as if it’d make him hear better. it wasn’t long before he heard your door open and your hard footsteps treading down the stairs. he felt his heartbeat pick up and the minute you fell into his peripheral he had to turn to look at you. big fucking mistake.

the minute he saw your curvy figure in your tight clothing that just made everything more prominent, he felt that rush. not adrenaline rush, he felt his blood fall from his cheeks and straight into his cock. he was beyond embarrassed, lucky for him he was holding a pillow next to him and quickly moved it over his front. something you saw very briefly, wondering why he looked pained almost.

“alright, i’m leaving dustin, don’t fuck the house up or i will kill everyone here and get away with it,” you said emotionless, going to grab your purse and keys on the kitchen counter.

“don’t get pregnant!” dustin shouted from the living room and you walked back in to say goodbye to your little brother and his friends.

“yeah yeah you too, bye, love you,” you said and leaned down to leave a kiss on his forehead, something eddie paid way too close attention to. he could see down your shirt from his seat, and he could only feel his pants grow tighter around his waist. he wanted to stuff his face in your chest, to hold you by your wide waist and pull you to his body. he wanted to defile you more than you’d ever been.

“problem eddie?” you asked, snapping your fingers where you stand behind dustin, sending everyone’s eyes to his direction.

“uh, wha- I, no, yeah i like this game too,” he stuttered and mostly everyone tried to stifle their laugh while dustin questioned him.

“okay?” you said in a confused laugh, walking off around the group to pass by eddie and bringing your hand to ruffle through his brown locks, and to his shoulder to squeeze slightly.

“see ya later, weirdo,” you said and left, leaving eddie rock hard, embarrassed and in complete shock. he needed your touch everywhere, and that same night after he finally got home and laid in bed, he jerked off to the images he internally burned in his mind.

remembering that night gave you ideas for every time you saw him after that. wearing the skimpiest clothes to open the door when eddie walked dustin to the door, making sure that when he was there at your house you were wearing the thinnest tank top with no bra, and checking that the thermostat was set at a cool 69 degrees.

it was like hell. if he were in heaven. he was tortured seeing you, but the more he saw you the more he craved you. he was excited to see you now, to see what you would have one the next time as you offered a drink in a sultry voice, bending over extra low to reach a fake cord from behind the tv while he sat on the couch. he felt like he was going to fall into a deep black hole that would open up every time you were around, he could follow you around like a puppy if you wanted.

he made excuses to see you, he embarrassed himself in moments just so he could see you, or hear your voice. he was genuinely obsessed with you, that even seeing you for five seconds could make his entire day complete. he was desperate, and you knew.

“you, eddie munson, looking for homework?” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest to cover yourself. you felt exposed, just waking up from a nap after dropping dustin off early in the morning, wearing nothing but black shorts and a small tank top that was a little see through if you stared hard enough.

“uh, yeah it’s like this paper i had to write, for…” he trailed as his eyes unknowingly moved to glance over you. he couldn’t help but look at how the shorts hugged your thighs and hips. please let suffocate me. his thoughts were impure, not gentleman like. he should be ashamed.

“for…?” you asked, waving your hand in front of him to get his attention back.

“-my class, it’s in a few minutes,” he said checking his watch on his wrist.

“you do know dustin isn’t here right? and the backpack in question is… with him… at school,” you said in an obvious tone, making him reach to the back of his neck and cringe at himself.

“yeah, right…. um, bye,” he said quickly and left, cursing at himself under his breath as he tried to refrain from thinking of the way you looked before he grew hard. you didn’t shut the door until he drove off, almost smiling to yourself that he did that, made that silly excuse to just talk to you for two minutes.

it was little things that he did that drove you equally as crazy, and the fact that he did everything he could just to see your face made you want him even more. it made you wonder why he hadn’t tried anything with you yet. you assumed he felt like you did, so you didn’t question if he found you attractive or sexy, you just wondered what was holding him back from taking the next step.

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eddie found himself a bit stuck in his own thoughts as dustin, mike, will, gareth, jeff and lucas discuss plans of their next campaign. he wanted to focus on the words and suggestions coming out of dustin’s mouth, he wanted to shout desperately when gareth recommended something that would put the entire campaign in jeopardy, but nothing could come from him.

dustin invited everyone over to spend the night while they plan their new campaign for d&d, he knew it could take all night even the day after to create something flawless, so he figured it’d be best to have those who can sleep over. you were a bit bothered by having that much testosterone in the house, but a little won over by the fact that eddie would be spending the night as well.

you catered for the group of course. After you got home from work around seven or eight at night, you bought pizza and drinks for the kids and acted as their mother, fixing their sleeping arrangements and making sure everyone had pillows and blankets before bed. the minute you walked into your home with the pizza and drinks, everyone zoomed to the kitchen except eddie. he shyly walked over to you with his black jeans on and muscle shirt under his jean jacket.

“i can get that for you,” he offered, nodding to the pizza boxes and liters in both hands.

“here, you can take the drinks,” you smiled and handed him the bag of drinks, letting your fingers linger a little on his while transferring the bag to him. he could feel the softness of your touch, how you grazed the outside of his hand with your nails and smoothly removing your hand from the bag.

“thank you,” you said and lightly patted his chest, moving past him closely so that your body touches his.

stop it eddie. stop! he screamed at himself as you started to tell the kids to not make a mess, trying to keep himself from getting hard again and finally going to put the sodas on the counter where you placed the pizza.

“eddie?” you said and walked over to him where he holds a paper plate in his hand, his eyes wide and doe like as he turned to you immediately.

“yeah? whats up?” he said quickly, gripping his plate.

“you think you can help me make everyone’s bed? i can’t reach the sheets in the closet,” you said innocently, batting your eyelashes and flashing a smile.

“y-yeah, of course.” he obliged and put the plate down, following you upstairs to the closet in the hall. you made sure to go first, your pencil skirt hugging your ass and thighs perfectly, putting him in a trance he never wanted to get out of.

“it’s right over here,” you said and turned right, stopping at white double doors. you opened the doors and reached to turn on the light, letting yourself be as exaggerated as possible, and leaning back to let him through. you turned to the side as he walked up to the closet, staying there and watching him as he strained his body upwards, his shirt lifting a bit to show his pale skin littered with tattoos, even seeing his slight v-line, something you wanted to explore. you didn’t try to hide the fact that you were checking him out.

you decided to test him again, so you scooted your body closer to his and leaned across, your breasts and your body touching his as you reached for a pillow that was on a lower shelf. your hand skimmed his skin not so subtly, grabbing the pillow and squeezing it to your stomach to make your tits more prominent in your hardly buttoned button up.

eddie’s skin was on fire, if he wasn’t thinking about d&d before you came home, he definitely wasn’t thinking about it now. he gathered all of the sheets and some pillows, pulling them out and going back to his relaxed position as you stared up at him with a devilish smile.

“what do you think you’re doing?” he asked in a serious tone, taking notice of your breasts pushed together and again, you saw it on his face. that restraint, the self control he tried to muster up.

“what do you mean, eds?” you tried to play naive, like you were unaware of this little game the two of you had partaken in. it was cat and mouse except less action. you liked to tease and taunt, and he held himself tight with a piece of string that was held by the relationship he had with dustin. who would he be if he actually made a move on one of his best friend’s sister?

“i can’t do that to dustin. i can’t.” he said to you, not even acknowledging your fake unawareness.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you said seriously and turned towards the stairs, “you comin’?” you asked sweetly, yet still a mischievous smile on your face. you were testing how far you could go without breaking that string, but now you wanted to break it. you wanted him to fall apart for you, to finally admit he’s wanted you this whole time.

eventually after everyone settled in, the group went down into the basement and began to watch a movie as the night went on. you told everyone you’ll be in your room, changing into something more comfortable to accompany your brother and his friends.

“it’s just supposed to be us,” dustin huffed and you rolled your eyes, accepting the fact you were unwelcomed and you changed anyway, going into the living room to watch a movie by yourself.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

the boys settled in the basement around 11 at night after arguing about their storyline, going to sleep with no successful campaign just yet but successfully watching two movies before everyone knocked out. eddie was no help obviously, too deep in thought about the way your hands felt, how your warm body pressed into his side, what exactly you were hiding under that pencil skirt. he didn’t realize how sexy you made office attire look, suddenly imagining himself bending you over your office desk and railing you to the point all of your papers and knick knacks fell over. it’s all he thought about as the boys talked over the movie, wondering what it would be like to just go upstairs and take you on the couch.

he rubbed his hand over his face with a deep breath, sighing and throwing over the blankets he had on himself on his other side, getting up from the small couch you had in your basement. eddie knew where everything was in the house, and he made his way to the kitchen for some kind of beverage. a beer, if he was lucky.

he was lucky, just not with the beer. once he got into the threshold of the kitchen, he saw the dim light from underneath the cabinet that’s above the counter glowing against you. your back was to him, seemingly eating something, yet he just stared at your figure. from here, the view of your ass was almost problematic. your tight shorts didn’t let much hide from his sight, he could see the crease of your asscheeks peeking out of the fabric, and he saw the small of your back due to your tank top rising up and nearly above your midriff.

“couldn’t sleep?” eddie asked you finally as he came to lean on the counter across from where you stood.

“i was just craving something sweet, you?” you asked, turning around unphased since you already felt him staring at you. you looked at him as you licked your spoon clean and he breathed in deep.

“something like that,” he said and stood up straight, walking around to you and now standing in front of you, leaning his body against the counter to mimic your stance.

“dustin’s my friend, you know that, and you're like, wow you know? it's hard to, control myself,” he slightly admits, beginning to watch as you sensually lick ice cream from your spoon again after you dipped into the pint for another scoop.

“mhm,” you hummed in agreement, eyes never leaving his. you weren't phased by his confession, you already knew. he tried to not show how in love he was with you, but failed miserable every time.

“i can’t do anything to ruin that, he’d hate me forever,” eddie said slowly, too enchanted by the way your tongue glides over the spoon.

“i don’t know what you mean, eddie,” still keeping up with your shenanigans, wondering if he’d snap any time soon.

“really? the short skirts, showing your cleavage, walking around here with no bra when i’m around, like you want me to die really,” he said dramatically, his hands waving in the air and you smiled, putting the ice cream down.

“that’s just how i dress, eddie. plus this is my house, i can wear whatever i want,” you gleamed and he huffed.

“i won’t lie though, some things i do wear for you. like this, i know you like black. and i know you like when i don’t wear a bra, i see you staring at them all of the time,” you said stepping closer to him as his fingers grip the edge of the counter. he was silent, he couldn't talk. embarrassed at the fact that you actually noticed his not so obvious yet obvious stares.

“do you wanna feel them eddie? or do you just want to stare from a distance and jerk off in the bathroom when i leave?” his face turned a bright red, remembering the times he’d have to leave early or go to your bathroom to deal with what you caused.

“yes,” he answered without thinking, stepping towards you so that there is only a small gap between the two of you. your head turns upwards to look at him as he looks down between the two of you, watching your chest rise and fall with every breath.

“do you want me to-” you began but eddie shook his head quickly.

“shut up,” he demanded, pressing his lips into yours firmly. but it wasn’t like you expected.

normally when you made out with guys, it was boring and dull. there was no excitement, no crave, no desire, it felt like nothing to you. but feeling eddie’s lips on yours practically made your knees buckle, so soft and gentle yet still needy, begging for more. you feel his tongue slide against your lips and you part them slightly, letting him invade your mouth as your tongue fought with his. heavy breathing, panting, soft moans coming from you and occasional groans from eddie as his hands rested at your waist, just to inch upwards on your skin and up your shirt.

he pulled away breathlessly, leaving you flushed and aching for me as his eyes trained on your midsection, watching the piece of fabric lift with every inch he went up.

“you, you are so fucking dangerous,” he said roughly, his black fingernails skimming against the curves of your body, his hands rubbing on your rolls, pressing them into your back to pull you closer.

you could tell his touch was so needy, so eager to feel all of you all at once.

“what makes me dangerous? is it my incredibly intimidating face?” you smiled, watching his eyes grow dark with every touch on your body.

“mm, no baby, you have a pretty face.” he said, more confident than ever now that he knows this little game of yours was over. baby. the pet name sending a shock of pleasure straight to your core that you has to press your thighs together. he noticed.

his hands move to your midsection again, finally deciding to raise the tank top up off of your body. this was risky, you knew that. you were exposed in the very public kitchen that anyone could walk in at any moment, pressed against the counter now with eddie teasing his way around your large breasts.

“holy fucking shit.” he breathed as he cupped them in his hands, massaging and feeling over every inch of skin. he bounced them in his hands, pushed them together to see them fall to their natural state, and immediately brought his lips to the curve of your breast and slowly towards your hardened nipple. he wanted to savor all of you, to feel you and memorize what you liked and what you looked like under all these clothes.

“eddie?” you whispered as he stuffed his face in between your tits as he pushed them up, making you smile boyishly.

“mmmhm?” he hummed, shaking his head in your chest and you tug his hair up, sending a jolt to eddie’s crotch and making him wince.

“do you want me?” you asked, looking at his face in the dull light, wanting to bask in his gaze. you loved the slight stubble on his jaw, how his nose was lightly peppered with small freckles, the way his lips looked so pink and swollen—it drove you crazy.

“fuuuck yes, yes i want you, are you crazy?!” he whisper-shouted, making you blush and pull your lip in between your teeth.

“show me,” you teased, moving your hand from gripping his hair and on his shoulder. he was so quick with grabbing your wrists and practically pulling you upstairs into your bedroom, shutting the door by pressing you up against it. it was so quick, you didn’t even feel shame in the fact that you only had your bottoms on going up your stairs.

“i would’ve loved to fuck you over that kitchen counter, but i’d rather not have dustin and our friends see me sinning with his older sister,” he said as he dipped his head into the crook of your neck and leaving small kitten licks and kisses on your skin.

“thank you,” you breathed, holding him tight to your body.

you did feel a bit bad about engaging with eddie like this, you knew it was a bad mistake as dustin’s sister. this was his best friend, and here you are in your bedroom with your tank top down stairs, feeling the way he’s pressed up against you.

“mm, don’t thank me yet, sweetheart,” he grinned into your collarbone.

“since i can’t fuck you over the counter, i think we’ll just have to settle for that little vanity you got,” his voice was so dark, so deep that you didn’t even really recognize who it was. it made you drip into your panties, and immediately you let out a tiny whine.

eddie moved you to the white, pristine vanity you had where you sat and did your makeup everyday. it wasn’t much, but it did come with a mirror and the thought of watching eddie fuck you from the back like that became too intense for you.

you instinctively bent over still in your short shorts, watching eddie behind you as he softly throws his head back and releases a long ‘fuuuuck’ as you swayed your hips gently against his crotch. he rubbed over the globes of your ass, teasing his fingers at the hem of your shorts.

“i can’t believe you’re bent over like this for me,” he says as he removed his black shirt and stepped out of his sleep pants, only leaving the fabric of his boxers strained against his hard on. you felt it in the kitchen, and you feel it even more now pressing against your ass. you whimpered a little, trying to rub against him until he gripped your meaty hips and stilled your movements.

“you gotta be good for me, okay baby? let me take my time,” he cooed, rubbing over the wideness of your hips and ass as he met your eyes in the mirror. he lingered his fingers around your waist band and slowly tugged your shorts down, leaving you completely bare, and leaving eddie feeling like he could cum just from the fabric of his boxers rubbing against his tip.

“no fucking panties?” he questioned, standing back up as he stared at your bare ass, moving your cheeks to spread and reveal both your holes.

“i, i forgot,” you lied, looking at his body through the mirror. the only light that’s shining on the both of you is the orange hue from the street lights in your neighborhood, the shadow of your window blinds casting on eddie right now. you liked the way his pale body looked under that glow, the way his patch work tattoos mixed together well, some looked lighter than others and the bigger ones were more complex. you wanted to inspect each and every one, know the meaning of them, why he got them.

“i know you didn’t forget, baby. you don’t have to lie to me,” he said and got on his knees to become face to face with your bare pussy. even though you were a little insecure about the way you looked down there, you tried to be as confident as ever just in case it wasn’t what a man was attracted to. you’ve met men who preferred skinny women, or men who didn’t like the way you looked down there because you were ‘too big.’

eddie’s hands gripped your ass and thighs firmly, spreading them as he pleased and watching the way your lips spread to reveal your wetness leaking out of you.

“fuck, fuck im so,” he tried to say but he was losing it. he was going feral at the thought of you being this wet and dripping for him, losing it at the fact he had you bent over naked for him, whimpering and moaning for him.

“is, is it too much?” you cringed inwardly at yourself, shutting your eyes and resting your face on your hands that are folded on the vanity.

“what? no what? too much, what do you mean?” he said, standing up and looking at you through the mirror, still gripping your ass.

“like, am i too, um, fat?” you asked. you knew how ridiculous you sounded, how insecure you sounded. but it truly wasn’t like that for you, you were worried more so about the fact that eddie wouldn’t be big enough to pleasure you. you weren’t much of a size person, but if you wanted to ride someone it would be a bit hard to do that with someone who was 5 inches, for you at least.

“what the fuck? absolutely fucking not, oh my god, baby you are so fucking sexy. i’m literally drooling over this pussy, please i need to ruin you,” he begged, slapping your ass a bit and kissing over the sting. his kisses led him to your inner thigh, and moved his lips to kiss over your wet pussy lips that were pushed together by your thick thighs, and you sucked in a breath as you felt his tongue slide up to collect your slickness, and moving in between your lips.

“eddieee, fuck eddie what are you doing,” you asked as he moved his hand to use his middle and ring finger to rub gently over your cunt, spreading your pussy lips and letting his tongue find your clit swiftly, sucking and slurping as you spread your legs a little more.

“i’m eating this pretty pussy,” he mumbled against your cunt, going back to wrapping his lips around your clit as he licked and sucked, sending you to bite your arm to shush yourself. you saw the way he gripped your ass with his other hand, felt how he kept slapping at your skin, spreading one cheek as his other hand was finding your hole with his fingers.

“fuck, fuck eddie please, please make me cum,” you begged, squirming and moving your legs as you tried to grip the table itself to keep from thrashing. it was so overbearing, the fact that he was so handsome and sexy, and he was buried in your cunt.

“mmmm, baby,” he hummed against your folds, making you jolt and cry a bit. he removed his lips with a pop, letting his tongue lick up your juices on his lips, and watching as his fingers sank into your tight hole. his mouth practically fell open as he watched you stretch around his digits, and watching your eyes through the mirror roll back and your mouth open.

“that feel good baby? am i making you feel good?” he asked against your thigh, pumping his two fingers in and out of you as your breathing started to pick up, your back arching against the table.

“fuck baby, yes yes it feels so good, please don’t stop don’t fucking stop eddie,” you begged, reaching your arm back to grab at his head and pull him back to your cunt, making eddie even more excited at your neediness. he didn’t even realize how turned on his was until he found himself palming his cock through his boxers as you kept his head in place with your hand and rutted against his tongue and fingers. it was hands down the sexiest thing he’d ever felt, letting you use him to get yourself off and grind into his face, he was so desperate for you he found himself moaning into your cunt.

he was going crazy, and it wasn’t until he finally grabbed your hand and moved it so he could use the hand he was palming his cock with to spread your ass, and move his tongue from your clit to your asshole. he used your juices he collected with his tongue and spit directly on your hole, still letting his fingers pump in and out of your hole, but letting his tongue find his way between your cheeks.

“oh my god, oh my f- eddie, please don’t stop please fuck, i need it, i need you please,” it was your begging that made him feel drunk, the sound of you so desperate and so willing to do anything just so you can feel good, his mind was focused on you and only you. he actually forgot where he was for a moment, and let himself eat your holes out as he pleases.

“eddie, fuck i swear i’m gonna cum, please can i please cum?” he didn’t even tell you that you had to beg for your release, he didn’t even expect that you wanted permission, and now that he knows he doesn't want to give it to you just yet. he was loving the way you looked right now, how fucked out and desperate you looked, how sex just dripped from your pleadings.

“not yet pretty girl,” he said, his face covered in your juices and still, he wanted more. he moved his tongue back down to your hole where he decided to slowly add a third finger, letting his tongue trace around the way your cunt gripped his fingers.

“s’ too much, eddie please let me cum,” you felt the tears sting your eyes, and you didn’t even realize you were crying until you finally moved your head from the table and to look in the mirror, seeing your puffy eyes and red face, the tears leaking from your eyes. all you could see was the way his arms and hands were gripping your backside, yet the obscene slurping and moaning made it too intense for you to keep watching him devour you. you felt how his head shook and moved in your cunt, how his lips and tongue worked so beautifully on your clit, you even felt how the tip of his nose rubbed against your slit. it was so much, so overwhelming, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“tell me it’s mine, tell me this pussy is mine,” he said, moving his lips to kiss over your thighs again. you felt the way his fingers curved into you, hitting your soft spot that made you want to explode. your eyes couldn’t keep open, you felt like you were going cross eyed with the way you felt. never have you felt like this from getting head before, never felt so excited and so wet, you’ve never felt so needy the way eddie made you feel.

“eddie, it’s all yours, fuck it always has been, this pussy’s yours, please,” you cried, making sure you were only loud enough for him to hear.

“mm, that’s all i wanted to hear baby, cum for me, cum on my face,” he said and moved his lips back to your cunt, his tongue working feverishly now on your clit, sucking, grazing his teeth against your nub, licking and even using the fingers that were inside of you to replace his tongue and let his fingers work your clit.

“i’m, fuuuck, fuck i’m cumming, i’m fu-” you moaned, letting your body go limp on the table as your legs shook, your release coating his tongue and face as he kept fucking your hole with his tongue. you were practically biting down on your hand, his tongue still going and sending you into a spiral.

“baby, please, i can’t,” you gasped, begging him to halt. he finally releases you, the slurping and wet sounds no longer as he stood up and rubbed his hands over your ass while he pushed his erection into your wet cunt. he reached and grabbed you by your neck, pulling your naked body to his chest as he looks at your figure in the mirror. his left hand moves around your jiggly body, gripping at your tummy that bulges out slightly, squeezing everywhere and grabbing your cunt with his whole hand.

“this all mine, pretty baby? only for me?” he asked again in your ear, moving his hand to grip your tits and playing with your nipples.

“yes eddie fuck, please. make me yours? i wanna be yours,” you begged, your voice hoarse and weak, sounding completely different than your usual snarky tone. he couldn’t help but smirk to himself, having you like putty in his hands when the whole time you made him nervous.

his. yours. mine. the words eddie has craved to hear, he’s dreamed of cumming to you telling him you’re his. he’s wanted you for so long and here you are, all fucked out against his chest and still begging for more. he couldn’t help but move his boxers down to fall at his ankles, letting his cock spring free against your ass and quickly slipping it between your thighs, right against your pussy. through the mirror, you could see the tip of his cock peeking through your plush thighs, and watched as he fucked your thighs using the slickness from your cunt.

“fuck, this pussy’s so fucking wet for me, you want me to fuck you? maybe you’ll stop teasing me when i’m over here if i finally stretch you out, hm? what do you think?” he panted, enjoying the feeling of your thighs pressing against his cock, stopping before he could cum.

“please fuck me, i’ll be good, please,” you whined, moving your hand to feel the tip of his cock, feeling him buck his hips and hearing a low growl from his throat. he pulls you back with him, still pressed against his chest, even after you fall back on top of him when he decided to sit on your bed against the wall. now, he has your legs spread in the air with the back of your head pressed against his shoulder as he peers over your shoulder to watch you spread all for him. you can feel his hard cock against your asshole, seeing it over your cunt and moving your hips to coat his cock with your juices.

“uh-uhn, i’m not done,” he grumbled, keeping your legs spread and watching the way your pussy lips spread open with the way your legs were in the air, and how easy it was to access your clit and rub your wetness over your hole and clit.

he moved his hand to push his cock against your cunt, rubbing it between your fat lips making sure his tip hits right at the hood of your clit.

“can i suck it?” you asked shyly, you couldn’t help but moan at the size of it and seeing it rub against your pussy. “‘s so big,” you finished and he blushed, throwing his headback with a groan. he wanted to hear you ask him to suck him off over and over again, the way you sounded so small and shy about it, how you actually wanted to take him in your mouth. he'll definitely be thinking about that now.

“fuck, what i’d give to feel those lips right now, but not tonight baby. i need to be inside you, right fucking now,” he groaned and finally pushed his cock at your hole, feeling his tip intrude and slide in slowly. he wanted to try to get you used to the feeling of him stretching his way inside you, but slowly realized it was him who needed to get used to how tight your cunt sucked him in.

“oh my fuck, i could fuckin’ cum right now,” he groaned as he relaxed inside you, adjusting you on top of him so he could see better and you were better pressed against his chest. he could see everything from the way he’s looking down behind you, he could see your eyes fighting to stay open as he slid inside, and the way your legs squirmed trying to stay open.

“you’re doing so good for me, pretty girl, so good,” he praised, awakening something inside you. somehow, he made you want to do everything right to hear him tell you how good you’re doing for him.

“eddieeee,” you whined as you felt yourself sink onto all of him, watching your hips begin to move on his trying to fuck yourself on him.

“what baby? you need more?” he asked as he gripped your belly, loving the way it looked with your knees almost at your chest.

“harder, please,” you begged, throwing your head back to look up at him, just as he looked down at you with your eyebrows pinched and your mouth open. he smiles, kissing all over your face as he began to fuck up into you faster and harder, moving to watch your tits and tummy bounce with every thrust. he decided to take your legs and hold them open while still on top of him, slapping at your thighs and whispering dirty things in your ear. all you can muster out are occasional moans and cries, whining his name out.

“gotta be quiet sweetface, don’t need anyone hearing you moan my name for me like that, only me baby,” he groaned. you could feel the rumble of his chest against your back as you watch him slide in and out of you. you were cockdrunk at this point, so dumb and fucked out that you can’t form a coherent sentence.

eddie felt like he was losing himself in you, the way you squeezed your walls around him and cried out how big he was made him want to be more than inside you. he really wanted to crawl inside your skin and be with you twenty four seven, he wanted to be the piece of gum stuck at your shoe just so he’s near you. he was desperate for you in every way and it showed in each thrust.

“need you on your back, baby,” he grunted and slipped out of you, moving your body to be laying underneath him rather than on top of him. he moved your legs harshly, spreading them apart and slapping your pussy just to watch it recoil with every slap.

“such a pretty fucking pussy baby, can’t believe it’s all mine,” he said moreso to himself. he was rubbing up and down your thighs and belly with his cock rubbing against your entrance, watching you squirm and beg for him.

“i love your cock so fucking much, please fuck me,” you begged in a whisper, and he gripped your belly when he decided to finally slip back inside you, watching the way your tits were pressed together and nearly covering the bottom of your face.

“mm, fuck you’re so pretty like this,” he said as he brought his hand to your chin, his thumb rubbing over your lips as he slid inside you again, this time a little more rougher than last time. when he slid inside, you gave him the opportunity to slip his thumb in your mouth when you moaned softly, and you instantly wrapped your lips around his thumb and started sucking and licking on it like it was his cock.

he was in a trance watching you, and feeling your walls clench down on him at the same time. he couldn’t believe you wanted him like this, and how nasty you were for him, he kind of forgot about you being anyone’s sister.

you decided to bite down a bit on his thumb and watched as he winced, but felt the way his cock twitched inside of you. the pace he was going was harsh and rough, the sound of his balls slapping against your ass was something he didn’t even try to conceal. instead, his own groans and moans were getting a little louder, the both of your moans mixing together.

“eddie, it feels so good, fuck you’re so perfect,” you cried with his thumb still in your mouth and he leaned down, kissing your face and neck trying to reposition himself and angle differently. when he did, you could actually feel the air slip inside and the next thrust he hit, you and he both heard the sound of you queefing, immediately feeling embarrassed and wanting to cover your face.

“mmm, fuck she’s talkin’ to me baby,” he said in a smile while he kept pumping his cock in and out of you. you giggled and hit his chest, telling him to shut up and keep fucking you, trying to ignore the embarrassing noise your own vagina made.

“c’mon, she sounds so fucking good, so fucking wet for my cock, yeah?” he cooed, sending electricity down to your clit and making you arch your back. when you do, he takes the chance to catch your nipple in his mouth and nip and suck at it.

“fuck eddie, you’re filling me up so fucking good, s’full of you,” you tugged at his curls and kept his head on your chest, feeling the impeccable stretch of his large cock. it was so girthy, so long that you felt like you were being split in half. it was painful, and that made it even more pleasurable. the way the patch of hair above his cock was rubbing against your sensitive clit made you cry out, scratching and scarring his back as you heard his groans and moans become more visceral, harsher, and you felt the way his hips started to buck and stutter.

it was when he released your tit to meet your eyes, and wrapped his hand around your neck, gently squeezing—that’s when you immediately felt the tug in your tummy, your thighs and legs tensing as you watched the way he lost control inside of you. you felt even hornier watching his body form a sheet of sweat, his face contorting into pure pleasure, and you felt how his cock reached the deepest part of your cervix.

“fuck, look at that, creaming all over my cock, fuck princess cum for me, cum all over me, make a fuckin’ mess please,” he begged, kissing your lips, still being able to taste yourself on him from earlier. your hand went up to grab his wrist, beginning to buck your hips against his and feeling the burst of pleasure flood through your body, making your legs shake and your moans muffle against his lips. you were still gripping his wrist when he finally pulled back to watch you ride out your orgasm, and he felt like he could cum right then and there. your body was arching for him, aching for more of his touch, bouncing with each thrust, your body littered with purple bruises from giving you hickeys everywhere, how out of it you looked—he needed to cum.

“where do you want it baby? where do you want my cum?” he asked you, releasing your throat and kissing over the place his hand was.

you didn’t think about it for a minute. you wanted him in all his glory, you wanted every bit of him. you craved it for so long, that you’d be stupid not to tell him where you wanted it exactly.

“inside, please eddie, wanna feel you fill me up, need it,” your sentence was not correct, but it got the point across. you didn’t even have to make sense, the minute you said inside he was a goner. he pumped inside you a few more times before thrusting hard one last time, jerking and twitching inside of you as he covered his groans in your flesh.

“fuck, dude you’re so fucking amazing,” he breathed as his body collapsed on yours, his face shoved into your chest.

“did you just call me dude after you came inside of me?” you asked, making sure you heard right. it was funny to you, it was just so eddie.

he rolled over off of you, pulling out at the same time and laying next to you on his back.

“yeah, uh, sorry. force of habit,” he said sheepishly and turned his head to you, trying to read your facial expressions.

“can i clean you up? before i go, uh back downstairs. i don’t want dustin asking where i am just to find me with his sister,” he said and you rolled your eyes.

“he’s a big boy. i think he can handle knowing you like me.” you said and watched him.

“still. he’s my friend, i’d like to tell him on my own terms.” uou couldn’t help but smile, turning your body on your side to face him better and bring your hand to his face.

“you’re the sweetest, you know?” you said and rubbed your fingers over his jaw and stubble.

“i think it’s safe to say you’re the sweetest,” he said referring to the fact that he did very much in fact devour you whole on your vanity desk.

“i’m gonna shower, so don’t worry about cleaning me up. maybe next time, i’m a girl who likes a bit of aftercare.” you said and kissed his lips softly, softer than you did when he was inside you. he kissed back and reached to pull you closer, wanting more of you. you put your hand on his chest and pulled back, leaving him breathless.

“so, this isn’t a one time thing?” he asked as he tried to breathe normal again. the both of you sat up to gather your clothes and as he put them in, you stood up and walked to your dresser, grabbing a pair of panties, a shirt and some shorts not bothering to cover yourself as he gets dressed again.

the second he’s full dressed and standing, you walk up to him with your naked body still pressed against his body, and raise yourself up on your tip-toes to kiss his lips once more.

“i really hope not.”

[smoshyourheadin]

reader and spencer meet in college and can we get a college!spencer i’d imagine he’s so sweet and cute and nerdy goofy 🤭

college spencer agnew headcannons

a/n: may i just say u guys EAT with ur requests?? ugh i love y’all!!! baby spencer my beloved!!! also i made these hcs applicable to friend or boyfriend spencer so interpret it however u want <33!

-takes a film production course

- ur on the same course (NERD!!)

- ur professor asks you guys to hold a study group together as part of ur grade and thats how you bonded

- u make cookies and when u give him one he almost cries bc he feels so loved by u!!

- will bring his switch to lectures so u guys can play mariokart

- he runs a indie music and film society

- i feel like he volunteers as a tutor for underclassmen bc he loves sharing his passions w ppl

- i can 100% imagine you guys bumping into eachother in the halls rom-com style where ur papers fall on the floor and he helps u pick them up

- he sometimes sits alone in the cafeteria, so when u sit with him it makes him feel so happy :,)

- u guys both do a random film elective and your live talking to him about movies bc he just understands ur views on movies!!

- he deffo loves studying w u bc u motivate him to be his best self!!

- brings u redbulls

- if he lives in the dorm room next to the yours, so he brings u food he orders

- sometimes if u go to his dorm you’ll walk in on him absolutely KILLING some just dance, like fully breakdancing

- so you drag him to a bar and you guys TEAR UP the dancefloor

- if u work on campus he always comes to visit u with stickers that say ‘good job!’ or ‘you smashed it!’ bc he appricates what you do but is js so unserious ab it LMAOOO

- if u sleep in his dorm room you guys stay up talking together and listening to his cd player he brought from home

- 100% in a d&d club

- you guys have a bookstore on campus that you go to and you spend hours making him carry ur books

- if theres any bars around school he signs up for open night and makes you watch him (tntl stand up ily)

- on the rare occasion he goes to a football game he brings facepaint in your school colours so he can draw dicks on all his friends faces

- actually really smart

- at graduation you’re sat next to eachother, so you make matching grad caps that say ‘i’m with stupid’ and you have the arrows that point to eachother

- lets u wear his scool merch bc its oversized on u and ur like ‘no spencie pleeeease let me have this sweater!!’ and he cant say no bc otherwise you’d stop giving him cookies

- had a lizard for a year or so before releasing it bc he felt bad about it being in his dorm all the time

- honestly makes school survivable for u (king!!)

[nonosfics]

Mystic Messenger Relationship Headcannons!!

[Yoosung, Jaehee, Zen, Seven/Saeyoung, Jumin]

SFW!! Romantic relationship headcannons, implied fem!reader. Also I slightly stray from good ending lore.

Tw:Life360/j

Also sorry if there's typos I don't feel like checking 😭

Yoosung 💚

Yoosung is the type of boyfriend to never stop being nervous around you. It doesn’t matter if it's because of his physical attraction to you, or just because he values your opinion so much.

He looks away from you a lot, feeling slightly insecure about his eye, but you always find a way to make him feel like the most handsome man in the world.

He has clammy hands 😭

Study dates (even if you're not a student)

Getting distracted really easily during said study dates, so they during into normal hangout sessions lol

Yoosung taking you to conventions!! You'll have to train him to get good at taking pics of you and ppl with cool cosplay fits. (Or even your own cosplay)

Lots of homemade meals when he has the time outside of school.

He is a chronic reel sender, but he only sends you nice cutesy ones. Some memes, but nothing too brain rot inducing.

Lots of rants from him about literally anything, and pouting. (This is mainly caused by Seven or Uni.)

Late night convenience store trips.

Lots of campus walks, or just attending campus events. Once again even if you're not a student you will def get some idea of Uni life while dating Yoosung.

While he's staying up late playing games you play on your switch, read, or watch Netflix. Just enjoying each other's company.

Yoosung crawling into bed, upset over a loss. He'll either join you in watching your show or watch you play your game/watch you reading.

Back seat gamer 🫠

Finally dealing with a panicked Yoosung duing finals season, because y'alls study dates were very counter productive.

Taking him to a cat cafe to comfort his L on his exams.

Jaehee 🤎

SHE GIVES THE BEST HEAD SCRATCHES!!

I feel like she wouldn't be big on touch as her love language, and not a fan of PDA. Partially out of concern of homophobes AND she just doesn't fuck with PDA like that. (However this doesn't stop you from a quick kiss on the cheek to see her blush.)

While she's not outwardly nervous around you, it is very easy to fluster her.

Once again, even tho she might not be big on touch she WILL NOT say no to a shoulder massage. I just know she carries so much tension in her shoulders.

You get to help her pick out new glasses every couple of years. They all stay pretty similar/simple.

You drag her to go get her nails done with you. (You just want her to practice self care 🥺🥺)

I fear Jaehee might suffer from beige/brown blindness and you really might need to help her with her interior design of everything 😭

Even though Jaehee would def love her cafe, I'm sure she'll still get exhausted from managing it. I feel like outside of work, she'll lean on you for a lot of the little decisions (like dinner, casual dates, etc...).

Will always come to you for fashion advice, for example when she grows out her hair she consults you about adding layers.

You introduce her to pinterest 🤭 she makes the best boards

Theater/Seeing Zen act dates lol

Getting dinner with Jaehee and Zen after, and both of you making him the best bouquet for him. (Zen loves his lesbian besties 💀💀)

You're the professional taste tester for new treats at Jaehee's Cafe.

Jaehee deals with all the Karen's/dickheads that occasionally find their way to the cafe 🙄

I luv cozy Baehee 🥰

Zen 🩶

Zen needs a LOT of attention. Seriously, it can get to be a bit much, but with some communication, he'll def learn to give you a break.

He seriously does melt at your compliments though, like a fan could say the exact same shit but it wouldn't hit the same because they're not you.

He made up needing one kiss for good luck before auditions/plays. But because he's in the theatre world he definitely started to believe his own lie because of one time you couldn't give him a kiss, and he slightly stumbled on his words. So now he NEEDS 3 kisses for good luck.

He's slightly a control freak (I'm being a bit nice here lmao) like mainly when it comes to wanting you to have the same health regiment as him.

Sassy man apocalypse 😵‍💫 like petty arguments are scary between reader and him.

Yall will definitely experience fancy, extravagant dates but I think Zen will mostly prefer and put the most effort into super casual/"normie" dates.

He would do cute tiktok trend shit too. Like the boo basket, or whatever else (I can't remember other trends)

Speaking of tiktok he would def post you and him doing cute shit.

You guys get a puppy after getting engaged/marriage and that will literally be y'alls first baby for the first few years of marriage.

Zen is touchy 😳

Zen let's you braid his hair on at home spa night.

Wait what was that? At home spa nights? Yes. Face masks, wine/champagne, whatever you want. Soft music in the background, lots of gossip.

He also wouldn't say no to you painting his nails 😗, not a promise he'll keep it on for very long though.

He wants you to do the bf blue nails, tho. you'll do it the first time, but once you remove the polish because it chipped, he expects you to do it again. (He is so serious)

"Y/n how will men know you have a boyfriend if your nails aren't blue"

"I don't think the average man knows about the bf blue nail trend..."

"Well, still 🤕 please paint them blue again"

Y'all go on summer getaways to detox from his fame. Maybe a nice few weeks in the Maldives, or a visit to a small Japanese town.

Seven/Saeyoung ❤️

Not even going to lie, Seven boarders being negligent and also a handful. It slightly gives you whiplash the first year of dating but once you help him with his work habits, it'll get better 👍👍.

He's not intentionally negligent at all!! He just gets really busy work and will hyperfocus on it. His thought process is that the fewer breaks he takes, the quicker it'll get done, but it'll end up in him accidentally ignoring you for a day.

He's good at apologies and making things up to you. There's never a dull moment with Saeyoung!!

Like Yoosung, he's a chronic reel sender, but it's cursed brain rot shit. He'll pout if you don't like each one just to mess with you.

He loves to take you on rides in his cars 🤭 especially if you're dressed up really cute. He feels like he might combust from joy. His lovely gf, and cool ass cars. 10/10 activity.

PDA with Seven is a little dangerous... hah, he's just used to being isolated all the time, so he doesn't realize constantly touching can be a bit much for others lmao. (He also just wants to show you off)

He's then put in "holding hands jail" as he calls it. And if you thought Yoosung could whine, Seven really takes the cake on this one.

Constantly asking for back rubs bc of his horrible posture. And quite frequently needs nurse reader because there's no way you're convincing me he doesn't get chronic stomach aches of eating only chips and soda 💀

You're his only hope in eating real meals.

Sitting on his lap during work 🥰

Stealing his jacket, but he gen can't tell if he's annoyed or loves you wearing it. This results in playfights over the jacket.

Board games with Saeran and him 🥺

Prank wars... this is hell for everyone in your life.

After a peace treaty to prank wars, you two become prank warlords and the rfa (yoosung) is y'alls victim.

Seven needs you in order to sleep, so if you're not sleeping he isn't 😗😗

You are his partner in crime so seriously if he has free time he will insta flock to you and beg to do something fun. Even if you're the busy one now...

Jumin 💜

Okay so there's a venn diagram of Jumin and Yoosung when it comes to the reader being their first love. Yoosung is pathetic and cute, Jumin is "nonchalant"....... However, in the middle, they are both so serious from day one in "dating to marry" 😭. Yoosung is a bit more blind puppy love with it, whereas I don't think Jumin would date anyone without seriously wanting to marry them later on.

Tldr: Jumin's feelings toward the relationship itself is intense.

I feel like it would realistically be a slow roll to him being needy. He would want to be responsible but also loving so he'll take you on nice, fancy dates. But after the first few it slightly sucks the intimacy from the dates.

He would feel it in himself because he would end up feeling unsatisfied after the dates, but he'll also notice slight disappointment from you after the same cookie cutter fancy restaurant date. He just needs more of you, and that idea slightly worries him.

Not that he thinks it's a bad thing he just doesn't want to be a freak 💀 for a lack of better words.

Feeling awkward he would ask what you'd like to do, and when he gets a "let's just have a movie night at your place!! Maybe we can make pizza too 🥰" he's a little taken aback.

1. He's not a big movie person

2. Were you going to spend the night? Was it appropriate for you to spend the night?

3. He doesn't know how to feel about pizza

4. You want to make it? Yourself?

He keeps 1, 2, and 3 to himself but he does ask for clarification about the pizza.

But once he was in the first 15 mins of the date, the intimacy was definitely there now that yall weren't in an uppity restaurant with no privacy.

During the whole date yall got to talk, and laugh and actually enjoy each other's company in a casual setting. He watched you watch the movie, and he loved seeing you play with Elizabeth the 3rd.

After a few weeks and more casual dates mixed with his kind of dates, he finally asks you to move in because he is surprisingly (to himself) desperate to have you at his home.

This would lead to a marriage proposal swiftly after you move in. He can only bend so many social rules before he starts to feel like a mad man.

Saving wedding details for wedding headcannon.

Jumin has an odd sense of humor so there's many moments where you don't catch on to his joke. Be even if you're late to understanding you still end up laughing.

He loves your laugh, it's his favorite sound equal to Ellie's purrs.

He smiles a lot more thanks to you infecting his brain.

Lots of late nights getting drunk in the kitchen, talking about life and the RFA.

Business man gossip (he does not consider this gossip and if you claim it is he will adamantly deny it.)

Ofc the obvious you are very very spoiled. Almost to the point where you have had a conversation with Jumin, letting him know he doesn't need to buy you all kinds of stuff.

(He still buys you the same amount of stuff, but he puts some time in between gifts)

No matter how much money he spends on you, his time with you is the most valuable thing and when you tell him this he may or may not add some extra vacation days just to hang out with you and Ellie 🥰

He also has many scares if you're out late or if you had to travel somewhere else for work or to visit family. He calls a lot, even during work, because he's really paranoid after the events in the game that you might encounter danger again when you're away from him. (This results in life360 for ease of mind, lmfao).

[screampied]

miss vegas. how do u survive in college. please give me some tips. i am barely hanging on by a thread and it's only my first year. how do u do it. also ilysm.

hi nonnie 🌞. omg ofc! i used to live on campus, i don’t anymore which is way easier for me— also, don’t stress. first year can always be a lot and extremely overwhelming but i got uuuuu !!!!!! love u too

it's a lot of things i wish i knew as my first year LOL. i guess one thing that is probably super basic, don’t procrastinate. just get your stuff done so you don’t have to worry about it later ☝️ it’s easier said than done, but trust you’ll feel a lot better once you finish your assignments / projects early n on time !!! also, staying up late while working on stuff — don’t do that. it’s not good for you, and i always did that eheh. waiting ‘till the last minute of 11:59 to finish essays nuh uh. do your stuff as soon as it get assigned, DONT PROCRASTINATE 🫵 also, go to all your orientations. do nawt skip them

sleeeeeep. you need lots of sleep, regardless of what year you’re in it’s very important. i wish i knew that as a freshman 😀😀😀. i would stay up all night doin work, especially on the weekends. certified loser nerd. also, set an alarm !!!! if you’re a heavy sleeper like me, set a fuck ton of them !!!! or uh… have someone wake you up. i used to oversleep a lot, a way to prevent this is to usually go to sleep earlier than you usually do ( from my experience )

if you’re on campus, have some sort of map / guide so you know where you’re going !!!!! on my first day i literally got lost right away and i barely knew much english so it was even more embarrassing LOL. beeeee prepared !!!! ☝️ do research on ur school, they should provide those things — also, try to get those things ahead of time before your courses start so you aren’t askin random ppl where one of your rooms are. of course, its okay to still get lost anyway. it happens. ask for help if needed but make sure you’re prepared !!!

you don’t necessarily need friends to “survive” in college. everyone’s experience is different, but i found my experience easier by just keepin my circle small 🫂. IM NOT SAYING TO BE A LONER, you can have / make friends throughout your years ofc !!! in college, you’ll meet the best and worst people of your life. your main priorities should be yourself and your studies — but you come first at the end of the day. friends will always come & go, but eventually you’ll stumble across some nice ppl who share the same interests as you !!!

there’s prob super more important details but for the last thing i’ll say this— don’t let your grades define you 💓. it sucks majorly to get bad marks on something, especially if you stayed up countless hours on it, givin it your all. i personally have / had a habit of doing that, but never let it define you. if you truly think you didn’t get the right grade for any number of reasons, you can always talk to your prof about it in private. but don’t stress ab it !!! always remember you matter first over some exam 🫵

[nightcolorz]

Going to vent to you because this seems like a safe space for Armand sympathizers lol…

LIKE obviously Armand is doing all the wrongs, he didn't have to agree to literally any of this, blah blah etc etc BUT GIRL. if the guy i had been casually dating for two years because he had great benefits one day revealed to me that he was a child sex slave, the thing i would not do is be like 'wow, i guess what you're secretly saying is you want me to turn our relationship into an unnegotiated 24/7 TPE huh'.

And then when he came to me in a panic to tell me his life is falling apart and his employees are plotting to kill him and his protection isn't going to last much longer and i should flee the country for my own safety because he's the most vulnerable he's ever been since the time he was abducted by the crazy torture cult, the thing i absolutely would not do at that moment is surprise him by introducing that dynamic into our relationship completely out of nowhere and then order him to stay right here because I've got a totally cool plan to outmanipulate his enemies and I'll be his master now :)

And then I orchestrate a series of hot public encounters where i blur the lines of being angry and disgusted with him right up against ignoring the boundaries he sets and telling him to do whatever i want wherever i want. and because i never bothered to ask him, i don't know if he's genuinely into it or if it's because i've weaponised his trauma when he's feeling unstable, but like, he's the one who manipulated me into doing this anyway by telling me his sad backstory, so actually i'm the victim here??

AND THEN when I tell him my awesome idea of turning a nazi collaborator into a human eating monster machine and I want him to do it even though he is clearly revulsed by this idea from every angle, I'll berate him endlessly for refusing and be annoyed with him because by saying no he's making me turn her and that's not cool bro, and when he begs me not to do it, or at least not to tell him because it's breaking the rules and he's vulnerable to the machinations of the coven rn, I'll shut him up with my dom routine, and then tell him to come watch because he'll realize he does actually want it after he does it.

and when he asks me whether this is a genuine invitation in this moment or if I'm ordering him to do it and will be upset if he doesn't, I'll be so hurt and angry with him because wow, I can't believe after months of using my nonconsensual game of acting like his childhood master to get him to do things for me, he's acting like I'd use my nonconsensual game of pretending to be his childhood master against him, fuck you for trying to manipulate me right now you worthless piece of shit </3.

like even daniel, the most neutral and ethical judge of whether it's okay to make someone a vampire, can tell the only reason he'd set his one boundary at murdering and cursing another human being for eternity is because it's not hot or convenient, and not because of 500 years of witnessing the most insane vampire maker shenanigans known to Europe.

and then the entire audience claps because honestly i'm just trying so hard and my boyfriend just keeps fucking it all up for me and taking away my choices. literally what else could i have done in this situation :(

AHHHH ANON U ATE THIS UP ‼️🙏 and Yes this is absolutely THE safe place for Armand sympathizers!! I am the Armand sympathizer king and u have just brought me an Armand sympathizer gift lined with gold and jewels and placed it in front of my thrown and I’m knighting u Armand sympathizer general as I bow before u

ur so right and it’s actually so crazy to me that this isn’t a more popular take. it’s insane to me bcus im remembering how seriously this fandom was taking Claudia’s s1 sexual assault and how sensitively it was being discussed and now these same ppl r insisting that it’s unfair to “demonize” Louis for preforming non consensual bdsm with a csa victim without any safe word or prior discussion specifically because he told him about his csa and Louis found a chance to leverage control in this relationship. I saw someone insisting that it’s ridiculous to interpret Louis as sexually exploitative for being a pimp because he was a nice pimp and he was self aware about how pimping was bad and like ??? 😭😭 how do I even argue with that, that is just so absurd I’m lost for words. No guys he was one of the good pimps because he “didnt take advantage of his position” (😭⁉️) and he knew that it was wrong to sexually exploit vulnerable women and just chose to do it anyway so see it wasn’t that bad. And because Louis knows sexual abuse is wrong and chooses to do it anyway despite this he clearly isn’t mirroring the sexual abuse Armand experienced in his non consensual power play dynamic with him because uh yeah he wouldn’t do that ig 😭. It’s not like Louis canonically is capable of using sexual exploitation to manipulate people’s vulnerabilities for his stability and gain. Like guys book Louis also felt guilty for being a slave owner and knew it was wrong 😭😭 am I gonna hear “it’s unfair to say Louis being a slave owner was indicative of his negative traits cuz he felt bad about it” come out of ur mouths 😭⁉️cuz oh my god I hope not 😭 “Louis was only a pimp because pimping was his way of keeping his family afloat and asserting the masculine identity he felt obligated to preform for his safety” and he is doing the same thing with Armand guys obviously??!! He is taking advantage of armand’s history of sexual abuse to keep himself safe from vulnerability with the coven and to assert his masculine identity as a shield like 😭 and that doesn’t stop what he’s doing from being wrong like no fucking shit. He’s a complex character and his actions come from a place of fear and not straight forward evil, but that doesn’t mean u have to defend literal sexual abuse to analyze that and to enjoy Louis as ur favorite character 😭 I keep saying this but louis is a great character and there’s nothing wrong with him being ur fav but it is pretty mf weird to insist that everything he does is ok when things that he do include like, non consent 😭

I feel ur annoyances so hard anon, it’s driving me a lil crazy rn cuz in s2 ep6’s wake i have barely seen anyone discuss the Louis fucking Armand in the coffin scene like it was pretty shitty and abusive and not like, non complexly hot and fun and nothing else. Like, Armand has been panicking for a while and insisting to Louis that he is loosing respect from the coven and therefore his control and he’s in danger because of it, and Louis decides to stroll into Armand’s office unannounced, demand he strip for him immediately, demand again without any room for argument when Armand says he can’t, and then fuck Armand in view and ear shot of the whole coven in a degrading power assertion that Louis knows will put Armand in even more of a vulnerable and compromising position, like ?? I get it read the pages to me while I fuck u was pretty hot but omg can we talk about this with some nuance 😭⁉️ this is possibly the most overt instance of Louis not asking, *demanding* that Armand sexually submit and preform for him specifically as a grab to assert dominance over the coven. And Armand of course won’t say no, he’s been quite literally trained to believe that he has services that people r entitled to take from him at any time because he’s a product to be used. He also believes that saying no is not an option because submitting to the master will keep him safe, and Louis I think knows this to an extent and knows that taking advantage of this will help him stay afloat. I believe that this scene was a significant contributor to Armand deciding to betray Louis, because Louis’s actions *do* put him in danger with the coven and cause him to loose his position of power (Santiago mocking him for getting fucked by Louis cough cough). And Armand at this point is realizing, I can choose to be in a relationship with Louis that is causing my sense of stability and safety to fall apart, or I can choose to regain my position of power by forgoing Louis and getting to retain my safety. When u think about it like that it makes perfect sense for him to do that 😭 and I’m tired of seeing takes treating Armand like he’s a sneaky little snake and not a cornered animal

on the subject of Daniel because u mentioned him at the end there, oh my god it has pissed me off since the beginning how a lot of people act like Daniel is the embodiment of the neutral, unbiased correct word of god figure who is just telling the audience how it really is. Like?? No??? 😭😭 Daniel is a shitty journalist and a shitty person, he’s borderline racist and ignorant, he is not looking to expand his perspective or approach his subjects with any empathy or nuance because he decided going in that he hates them and they r bad, which is like?? Defeats the entire purpose of the affective journalism that he is trying to preform 😭😭 He is NOT the guy u should be getting ur takes from, he is a character like any other, he is not a source for correct analysis or meta or unfiltered truth.

But anyways lol, not to be personal and vulnerable in the gay vampire sex tv show post but it’s rlly disheartening for me to witness this blatant excusing and downplaying of a sexually abusive dynamic as someone who has experienced a very similar type of “but was it technicallyyy non consensual though..?” Sexual abuse. Like guys pls 😭🙏 I thought that “bdsm dynamic that merges with actual, genuine grabs for control and blurs the line between fun sex and real demands or anger” was like considered unambiguously bad? 😭 There asses do NOT have a safe word. In conclusion anon u r everything to me and everyone else um USE UR BRAIN🔥🔥🔥🔥

thank u sm for the ask OMGG ur so well spoken and correct and I enjoyed reading ur ask so so much

[musicalmoritz]

Some funny and cute head canon between hanako/amane and tsushigomori?

Yayayay I love their dynamic sm. The father/son duo ever. I’m gonna do a mix of Amane and Hanako headcanons bcuz their relationship at any point is so sweet to me

• So for AUs I think it’s super cute when ppl have Tsuchigomori adopt Amane (+Tsukasa)- or at least it would be, I don’t think I’ve seen any actual fics like that lmao. But for canon it’s definitely more of a “teacher you accidentally call dad” dynamic

• I still view Tsuchigomori as a father figure to Hanako but I think they’d both be very reluctant to admit it. I feel the need to specify that because fandoms tend to take parent/child dynamics and make them into super traditional families, which can be cute in AUs but sometimes for canon it takes away the nuance

• It’s the same as when I call Teru Kou’s dad, there’s more to it than that. Yes he is Hanako’s father, yes he is his teacher. Two things can be true at once

• Okay now that that’s out of the way, onto the headcanons

• Circling back to the first point, Hanako has accidentally called Tsuchigomori “dad” twice. Once as Amane, and once as Hanako

• As Amane it was a very emotionally heavy moment, when Tsuchigomori finished bandaging him up as usual. He gave him a mini lecture on standing up for himself, and Amane let out a quiet “Thanks, Dad”

• The minute he realized what he said, he bolted out of that classroom. He wouldn’t talk after that until Tsuchigomori reassured him they could just forget about it

• As Hanako it was more of a comical moment. He was hanging out with Tsuchigomori and Yako, annoying them as usual, but as he was getting ready to ditch them he said “See ya later, Dad”

• Everyone froze until Yako started laughing her ass off. Hanako quickly tried to cover it up but Yako wasn’t willing to forget it as easily as Tsuchigomori had been that first time, so he had to hide out in his bathroom for quite some time

• Yako started calling Tsuchigomori “Dad” too whenever she wanted to mess with him

• Tsuchigomori would try to help Amane make friends by pairing him with other kids for group projects. This always backfired, seeing as Amane had trouble socializing and was an easy target for bullying

• Sometimes he still tries to get Mitsuba and Mei to hang out with the kid so that he has more than two friends (one of which is his girlfriend)

• But progress is still progress and he’s obvi very happy to see that Hanako has made friends

• Hanako hangs out in Tsuchigomori’s office whenever he’s bored or sad

• When he’s bored he’ll just annoy him, telling him unfunny jokes and going on long tangents about whatever comes to mind. Tsuchigomori complains but never seriously attempts to kick him out

• When he’s sad about something, he’ll usually just sit at one of the desks or in the corner curled up in a ball. Tsuchigomori doesn’t comment on it, but he might give him a blanket and some candy, or a book to read

• Hanako tries to go to Tsuchigomori for advice on Nene, but Tsuchigomori’s love life is, frankly, pathetic, so really he’s the one who needs advice

• Some of the only times Hanako isn’t floating is when he’s running in the halls to provoke Tsuchigomori

• Every year on Father’s Day, Hanako brings Tsuchigomori a rock. He started this tradition as Amane and has kept it up all these years

• That’s not to say he didn’t love his bio dad, but he wanted to show appreciation for the teacher that looked out for him too

• Before they left school at the end of every day, Tsukasa would thank Tsuchigomori for “babysitting” Amane

• Hanako’s favorite books are the Sherlock Holmes series so Tsuchigomori lets him know every time the school gets a new copy

• He used to draw little smiley faces on Amane’s papers when he’d get a perfect score

• Amane would stay after school for tutoring even though he didn’t need it whenever things got too tense at home with Tsukasa and his parents

• Hanako frequently asks Tsuchigomori to update him on recent scientific discoveries. If anything major happens, Tsuchigomori will give him reading material

• Tsuchigomori was the one who taught Hanako how to use a computer

• Amane was always deathly afraid of asking questions or raising his hand in class, so if he had any comments he’d reserve them for when the rest of the students left (another method he used to delay going home)

• Amane strikes me as one of those kids who ate lunch with the teacher (ik it’s common for Japanese students to eat in their classrooms but this would be true even when his other classmates decided to eat somewhere else for the day)

• Before Nene came along, Tsuchigomori would encourage Hanako to clean his own bathrooms by giving him science and mystery books as allowance

• For Christmas one year, Tsuchigomori bought Hanako a toy rocket

• When Hanako needs to be cheered up, Tsuchigomori and Yako will play astronaut with him. Sometimes Yako pretends to be an alien, sometimes she’s part of the space crew, it depends on the plot

• Whenever Tsuchigomori is showing his class a movie, Hanako will sit in and watch

• Tsuchigomori has absolutely written “a pleasure to have in class” on one of Amane’s report cards

Okay I’m gonna end it there, ty for this ask I rly enjoyed talking abt them :D