#yeah...i need time to process this lol but it worked well with the environments

[bunabi]

One more because this is what I was the most curious about:

Pages about the new design approach & change in art direction moving from Inquisition to Veilguard

Notes about exaggerating shape language more & adding extra personality to objects

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Stray Kids (Green/Yellow/Red Flags) In Relationships

I thought I get through this much requested reading for this weekend, so let' see what we get here from them. These readings have not been pretty so far, so might expect the same here.

Bangchan

Green (King of Pentacles) He would be a provider and supporter to his partner, the breadwinner. His partner probably won't need to work if they didn't want to. He would provide all the financial support here. I can also hear good on his word, dependable and loyal.

Yellow (9 of Cups rv) There is some lack of satisfaction on his part or his partner, just not getting everything his partner desires, maybe more so on the emotional level, not sure what this means. Things just won't be as happy in the home. I would like an elaboration on this, so got the 4 of pentacles, on one end he is greedy and selfish, a bit too protective of his partner, a bit controlling as well. Will probably need his partner around him all the time, if not, most.

Red (The Chariot) He is kind of always on the go, always on to his next venture, may not be around as much to be honest, always out on the job, so he will provide financial support, but not much emotional or being around to be honest, with this energy.

Lee Know

Green (4 of Cups) This card pops up a lot for green flags lately. Once again, he doesn't take outside offers, he isn't tempted by others, possibly won't cheat. Like this is what they want to point out as a green flag, like this is not the best green flag, like all men should have this at the bare minimum.

Yellow (10 of Wands) He carries a lot of burden, does things on his own, probably will not ask his partner to help him at all, becomes way too overwhelmed by the relationships and responsibilities of it.

Red (8 of Pentacles) He may be a bit of a perfectionist, very detailed, put a lot of work and effort to keep the relationship stable, like boy tries way too hard, relationships should be easy if there is a true bond and yeah, there is struggle, but like there seems to be a lot of pressure on himself to maintain things. Not the worst red flag here though.

Changbin

Green (9 of Swords rv) He won't stress too much about things. He may be an uplifting force for his partner. Helping them work through their stress and trying to remove stress out of their life.

Yellow (Queen of Pentacles rv) What is with these reversals? He may lack independence, may not want his partner to have that either, will probably cling to them. He wouldn't want to do things alone and wouldn't want his partner either to do so.

Red (The High Priestess) He is pretty secretive and mysterious and sneaky. Pretty much will know all his partners business. There is more to him that what he shows and share. Will probably not be open and honest with his partner.

Hyunjin

Green (Temperance) Will balance his partner, very good at keeping the peace and compromising for his partner. He could provide a loving and stable environment for them. Things will be happy and peaceful for the most part. And he will like a nice balance in the dynamic.

Yellow (3 of Cups rv) This just gives me he isn't much fun, doesn't really know how to have a good time, a bit boring.

Red (Page of Pentacles) This gives me the same vibe as the yellow flag. He is pretty slow to commit as well, will take a while for things to progress in the relationships. He may need things to be perfect before moving ahead in the relationship or find the right opportunity, but that may never come for him with how he processes things, so partners may leave him before he decides to move forward.

Han

Green (The High Priestess) He is very subtle, not sure why that is a green flag, very reserved, chill, would keep his partner's secrets, boy is secretive himself, so this doesn't surprise me lol He is also very intuitive and will know his partner very well, they don't need to say much.

Yellow (Page of Wands) Can be immature, childish, too playful, I heard sex fiend, going with it, fuck it, adventurous, likes to try new things. He might want his partner to do uncomfortable things, could be sexual, nothing toxic, since this isn't the devil card, but a little outside what they may like.

Red (Page of Pentacles) Like Hyunjin, slow to commit and develop something into a relationship. He will be hard to tie down to be honest. Pretty much focused on his career and own goals to commit.

Felix

Green (4 of Cups) Why does this keep popping up. This is not a great green flag, it just tells me they won't take offers, and why do I keep getting that message, do they get offered people to sleep with? I mean yeah, people probably want to sleep with them, because they are famous hot idols, but like why does this keep coming out. This card is giving me, because this card is set in a party setting, that they go to parties, get offered sex from people, and they can take it or not and I am taking it as he doesn't accept is he is in a relationship with someone. This is crazy wtf is this.

Yellow (Judgment) He may have a bit of a savior complex, a need to save someone, may date someone so he could save them, or date someone who who is struggling so he can be their savior.

Red (8 of Wands) He is a bit all over the place, very scattered energy wise. He may want his partner to go along with him every he goes, not sure how that works with his career. He is constantly moving. He can get draining to be around. It is like a lot comes at you when you are dating him.

I say, not too bad here overall.

Seungmin

Green (6 of Cups) He is very loving, very soft and sweet energy with him. You may be able to build cute memories together with him. He will kind of feel like a best friend. He just has this sweet loving energy to him that will make his partner feel warm and fuzzy.

Yellow (Knight of Pentacles) Once again, a theme with these members. Slow to move forward, slow to commit. He may also have other goals and career advancements he may want to focus on more.

Red (Ace of Swords) He will need to know a lot about his partner before making a step towards a relationship. There is also a lack of knowledge he has about dating. He doesn't seem to have much experience. It is like he read up on dating more than he experienced it. I don't even see him taking steps after a first date to move forwards with a relationship.

I.N

Green (Death) He is all about forward movement and moving on, so he isn't the type to stay stuck on something that happened in the past. He is someone always willing to evolve and grow, if something needs to end or change, he will do so.

Yellow (6 of Pentacles) He is the type that will give, but expects things in return, he needs balance, he won't do something with no strings attached to it. So, if he does something for his partner, they will need to give back in some way or another.

Red (Wheel of Fortune) He move on too quickly, doesn't like to ruminate over something in the past. He rather moves on, so of you are upset with something in the past, he will brush past it. I just get that is the past, why are you worried about that now. I mean I get this energy, but sometimes things in the past need to be addressed.

Once again, not too bad here either.

Okay, this wasn't that messy to be honest. They were the group I struggles the least with, now this group is good at hiding things from me, so maybe I just didn't get their worse traits, or they just aren't that wild in the love department. I also get the vibe these dudes don't have as much experience in the love department as the other groups, or they aren't as adventurous lol Let me stop.

[fitgothgirl]

Blah. Sad. Been unemployed for 1 month officially today. Never had a gap this big that wasn't intentional. I've hardly had a nibble so far... And even if/when I do get a job in bartending, I'm still going to have to pay my dues as a barback for a little while. So by the time I can be a bartender I'm sure I'll have my medical coding certificate - I could even have that in as little as two months if I seriously study. I'm sure I'd need to barback for 6 months to a year before actually bartending. And if I get my certificate and go back to a 9-5, I would only be able to barback parttime from then on, slowing down putting in those hours to get to bartender.

I've just started expanding my search to include serving jobs though. That would be a way to make tips right away, and is often a stepping stone into bartending too. I initially didn't want to do serving but now it's looking mighty enticing... Not the same environment/customers as a bar (and therefore the customer service attitude/presentation would be different) but beggars can't be choosers. And yeah I honestly don't feel as negative about it anymore anyway lol.

The fact that I haven't had any leads yet is making this process weigh on me more. Like will I just get my medical coding certificate before I find anything? The rest of my books come today too so I can officially start studying. If that ends up the case, I just feel kinda stupid getting all gung ho about bartending and then not even finding anything before finding another medical job... But I want to keep pursuing it anyway even if I have a day job. I want to be a bartender for two main reasons - it's always interested me and I have a genuine desire to do it, as well as the money it can offer which can really help me get out of debt. But like I said, once I get a 9-5 then everything with that slows down.

I feel like there's isn't any flow with this, my thoughts are just messy right now. Just juggling different goals which are both valid but it has me a little frazzled. CPC on one hand and bartending on the other. And bartending has its own branches to explore to start with like barbacking and serving. But also I don't want to just work on one thing and not the other, I feel like time is of the essence for both. Regardless of my wants, right now things come down to me needing employment.

[glitterandmoondustofficial]

And Onto Further Stillness

Chapter 8

Notes:

Characters: Gale, Tara, Yrelia Rating:Mature Warnings: Nakedness, lots of kissing Notes: Yeah, I changed up the weave scene to fit Yrelia more lol

“Lia, are you certain?” Gale asked as he followed her around their tower. “Darling, I assure you that there’s no need for you to do this.”

“Gale, you’re being so dramatic. I’m just going to start hunting again,” she laughed. “You have started a wonderful job and you’re bringing in good money while I lay around in our tower by myself, reading books and snacking. It’s time for me to contribute to our household.”

“You are!” He argued. “I must point out that you prepare lunch for me every day and you cook a wonderful dinner quite often. Our tower is practically spotless due to your efforts and that includes cleaning up after me. I couldn’t possibly forget that you repair my teaching robes every time there’s a stray cantrip that my students think they have already mastered. Which, I must say, is daily.”

“And as I must point out, you also cook. More often than me, in fact.”

“Well how can I not want to cook for you? You deserve lavish and rich meals as often as possible.”

“And you’re also cleaning almost as often as I am.”

“A clean environment leads to healthy and clear thinking. I’m more organized than I've ever been thanks to your filing system.”

“And you’re picking up clothing repairs very quickly.”

“I can’t always expect you to repair my singed clothing. That’s preposterous and would be all you ever do.”

“Didn’t you come to me during our adventure whenever you needed your robes repaired? You didn’t seem to have an issue with it then.”

“That’s completely different. You were a brilliant star that I could only hope would be willing to fall out of the sky and grace me with your glow.”

“And now?”

“You willingly do so.”

Yrelia snorted loudly. “At least let me do something that only I can do for us. Between teaching, researching, and household chores, you do so much and I feel like I’m not contributing as much as I should. You should allow yourself to come home, not pick up a quill, broom, or wooden spoon, and just relax.”

“But, my love,” he said and took her shoulders in his hands. “You have spent your entire life overworking yourself for a family who didn’t properly care for or appreciate you. You deserve to rest and relax without being expected to do one singular thing. Let me take care of you, Lia, that’s all I want for you, for us.”

She blinked and cocked her head. “Beloved, hunting and processing meat is hardly working.”

“Ah, see, you say that, but I’ve had the honor of observing you do both of those things and it’s an all day event for you, especially if it’s more than one animal.”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed and nodded with a smile. “But think of all the high quality meat I can bring home to you. You won’t find a butcher that can produce better than what I can.”

“That is…true.”

“And I can get back into tanning hides and start to really learn how to make things from it other than just rugs. You can’t tell me that you wouldn’t appreciate some deerskin gloves in the winter. They are incredibly warm and versatile. We can’t let your skilled hands get too cold.” She kissed his hand for emphasis. “Also when I hunt geese, ducks, and turkeys I can make things with the down and feathers or I can use them as fertilizer for our garden. So, there’s another way my hobby would improve our lives.”

“You’re not…incorrect.”

“This will also keep me busy and happy and in case of another apocalypse, my skills will remain sharp. Unless you planned on being the only one to defend our home.”

“No, of course not. Tara is quite capable at defense.”

Yrelia snorted. She kissed him. “I’m going to head out or I’ll be late. It’s important to look good for these people. From what Lily said anyone and everyone applies for these licenses, even if they don’t have the right skills for it.”

“Mostly everyone,” Gale said. 

“Well, of course not those with magical skill and talent, my beloved.” She kissed him again. “I still owe you a lesson, now that I think about it,” she said with a soft look in her eyes.

Gale felt himself smile, thinking of his lesson with her. How he had so badly wanted to share the Weave with her. He had seen her affection towards him for the first time that night. He could still picture the image so clearly. His head in her lap as he read a book, her fingers combing through his hair softly. 

He remembered wanting to embrace not only that moment but also her. That he hadn’t wanted to taste someone’s lips so desperately in such a long time. However, the moment had been cut short and even though his heart hadn’t felt so light before, he was left cold without her.

That shared moment, the idea of being so close to Yrelia, had changed the course of his life so intimately that he could hardly believe that he was here seven months later. 

He now could hold onto her whenever he felt the need, he could gently brush his lips across every inch of skin she allowed, he could spend long nights tangled up in her arms, listening to his name on her lips as she gasped in pleasure. 

Or he could lay his head in her lap while he read a book as her fingers combed through his hair. 

“You do,” he confirmed. “And I am looking forward to it. You know that I am quick to learn new and exciting things. I promise I will be a better student than I was in my years at Blackstaff.”

She giggled and kissed him one last time before leaving their tower with her bow. 

And that was an hour ago. Yrelia had gone to retrieve her Waterdeep hunting license. When she found out that it involved testing she was fairly shocked. She hadn’t been expecting to jump through hoops as she had just signed up in Baldur’s Gate. When Gale told her that she would have to do the same for fishing she asked if he was teasing her.

“Not at all, dearest. Waterdeep takes such things quite seriously. You don’t want overfishing or over-hunting. It’s best to require a test of skill to thin the herd, so to speak.”

Now he was faced with a problem he never thought he would ever come to face.

He had lived alone in his tower for many years, so sure he would live out his days doing research and creating new spells within the bliss of being a Chosen. Rich cheese, fine wine, long nights within the Weave. 

Well, he hadn’t been totally alone. Tara had been his companion the entire time. 

However he was now confronted not only with the fact that while he did still love his research and creating new spells and he did still have a taste for cheese and fine wine, he very much was lonely while alone in his tower. He wanted to do these things with Yrelia around. 

She had started to come into his study while he worked, curling up on the couch as his quill scratched on the paper. If she felt like she needed attention she would close her book and walk over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a kiss on the top of his head. A simple “come sit with me” would have him leaving whatever he was doing behind without a second thought.

They’d drink wine together, make dinner together, lay on the couch together. She would teach him gardening skills and he would bounce lectures and ideas for new spells off of her. They’d kiss and kiss and kiss; his lips on her skin, her fingers in his hair, their bodies pressed against each other. 

Yrelia had also started to drag him out of their tower, intent on learning more about Waterdeep. She wanted to enjoy her new city and she wanted to do it with him. To say he now saw his beloved Waterdeep in a new light would be an understatement.

He had begun teaching only a fortnight ago and he loved it. Truly loved it. He hadn’t realized it would be so fulfilling and he was grateful that Yrelia had supported and encouraged him every step of the way. The only downside was that he missed her now. To go from being around her almost every moment of the day for months to being away for most of the day multiple days a week was almost jarring.

One night he had admitted that he missed her and she laughed, saying she missed him as well, but perhaps not being attached to the hip would be a good thing, and missing each other was a feeling they should experience. She was right, of course, as she usually was. 

Besides, he did feel a not minute amount of pride and ego when he opened the lunches Yrelia had made for him. When his colleagues questioned him about his lunches he enthusiastically explained they were made by his wonderful fiancée. He didn’t even get offended by the shocked stares, too busy being ecstatic over Yrelia. 

However, now, in that current moment, he was alone in his tower, left to his own devices without his love to cuddle, kiss, or bury his face between her thighs.

This would be a perfect opportunity to conduct uninterrupted spell research, tweak his lesson plans, grade his student’s homework that he had been avoiding for two days in favor of kisses. He could also make a slow cooked meal for Yrelia to come home to. She had really enjoyed that slow roasted leg of lamb that she couldn’t stop praising him over. That was probably an unneeded ego boost but he definitely didn’t mind. 

He should probably also deal with the laundry and begin to order firewood for autumn and winter. Waterdeep became quite cold in those months and he knew that his love didn’t run hot. No, in fact, while on the road she had curled into him every night, even when it had been warm out, stating that she was cold and needed to be close to him.

“Mister Dekarios,” he heard Tara say. He looked at her sitting on the arm of the couch with a somewhat flat and definitely unamused expression. “Do you plan on sulking all day?”

“I am not sulking,” he said with a huff. 

“I have known you for many years so I can say that without a doubt you are sulking. Can you no longer function without your fiancée around?”

“I most certainly can.” He crossed his arms. “I was simply deciding on which of my many tasks I should start with.”

“Good. I will say one thing about Miss Rosewood, she has certainly changed you to be more reliably organized. She’s even managed to convince you to stay on task! I will have to thank her. Perhaps a nice pigeon would do.”

“I’m certain she will appreciate it,” Gale said and started to walk towards the study. “I’ll start grading the students' work,” he mumbled. “And then I’ll sort through the laundry. Then I will…”

Gale stood on his balcony with a second mug of coffee, staring out into the sea. His and Yrelia’s clothes hung to dry and blew in the breeze. A slow roast was in the oven. He knew Yrelia would insist on making the side dishes so he would let her do whatever she wanted. Of course he loved her cooking and was so very happy she loved his kitchen. 

And he was not at all biased about her using the kitchen because she gave him plenty of kisses while she cooked. 

He stared at the horizon and narrowed his eyes. There was a storm in the distance. 

It was starting to begin the turn of the seasons. Eleint was fast approaching which meant there was going to be frequent rain and snow soon. He would need to speak with his tailor about creating Yrelia a warm coat that would suit Waterdeep. 

She had a coat, of course, but Baldur’s Gate was warmer than Waterdeep so she needed something more temperature appropriate and a bit more fashionable. He was thinking something along the lines of a nice black wool coat and gold buttons. With matching gloves and hat as well. Oh, he was certain she would look quite adorable with some rabbit fur earmuffs. 

He watched lightning flash in the distance and sighed contentedly. A nice end of summer storm to cuddle under the covers with. Preferably naked!

He felt himself smiling as he brought his mug to his lips. To think he would be so happy with his life. That he would find someone to spend that life with. Not only did he find someone who he very deeply loved, but…she loved him back. 

“I’m going to be obnoxious,” Yrelia croaked with a yawn. 

Gale looked up from his book. He laid in his tent by the dim candlelight. The love of his life stood at the entrance looking exhausted. Her hair was a mess, there were dark circles under her eyes, and the shirt she slept in was off on one shoulder. 

“I highly doubt that,” he said with a smile. “What can I do for you, my love?”

“Move over,” she said and then didn’t give him time to move over. 

“Yrelia,” he cleared his throat. He felt himself blush, which was embarrassing. They were adults in their thirties in an established relationship, how was his partner climbing into his tent so frightfully vexing? “Darling, were you wanting to talk?” He shuffled to the side so that Yrelia would be more comfortable. 

“No.” She said and laid her head on the pillow. She let out a long breath. “Carry on.”

Carry on? As if he would be able to focus on anything other than the warm body next to him. 

He closed his book and set it aside, no longer willing to entertain the idea of reading it. He snuffed out the candlelight, making his tent dark. 

He laid down and his heart sped up when she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. “My lady,” he said softly. “What brings you to my tent?” He wrapped his arms around her, breathing her in. 

“I can’t sleep,” she said. “I’d rather lay with you, if that’s alright.”

“It’s more than alright,” he said. He pressed a kiss into her hair. “It’s something I enthusiastically welcome.”

She sighed. “Good,” she said softly. “Because you won’t be able to get rid of me easily.”

“Getting rid of you is the furthest thing from my mind,” he said. “I’d love nothing more than for this to happen every night.”

“Okay.”

Gale blinked, really processing their conversation. “That is…truly what you want?”

“Yes.” She said surely. “I love you and I don’t think I should miss out on simple things like this.”

Gale blinked. His lips twitched into a small frown before kissing her head again. He sighed. “I love you, too,” he whispered. “Whatever you want to do, I will most enthusiastically do for you.”

Gale was folding the dry laundry when the storm hit. The rain hit his bedroom balcony doors and he sighed. It was relaxing. He saw the lightning in the distance and smiled. 

The first of the autumn rains! Perhaps he would light a fire with the last of the wood he already had? He was sure Yrelia would appreciate one after she came home. A nice evening to curl up under the blankets with a warm hearth. With plenty of kisses, of course. 

He paused. He stared at the shirt he was holding in his hands before dropping it and rushing out of his room. 

“Mister Dekarios!” Tara exclaimed. “Where in the world are you rushing off to?”

Gale grabbed the umbrella and started to put on shoes. “Yrelia doesn’t have an umbrella,” he said, slightly annoyed with himself for not realizing such a thing earlier. “Which means she’ll either walk home in this weather or she will wait it out.”

“She’s a smart woman, she’ll wait it out.” 

Gale opened the door and opened the umbrella. “I’m going to walk her home.”

“Mister Dekarios!” He heard Tara yell before he closed the front door and started to run.

The streets of Waterdeep had been emptied and were dark. Merchant stalls had been cleaned of their products. It was grey and dreary and wet. 

And windy, how could he possibly forget windy?

The cold, wet wind tousled his hair, soaked his clothes, made it difficult to see with his worsening eyesight, and completely destroyed his umbrella. The damn thing nearly snapped in half. In his time both in seclusion and his time away from Waterdeep it had slipped his mind how the storms were at this time of year. 

His joy of Waterdeep storms dissolved as his socks became soaked. 

If had been two years ago, if he was still who he once was, he was certain he would have been able to keep himself from being completely drenched. Not only that but he would easily get to his beloved in mere seconds and whisk her away to his tower where they would be warm, dry, and eating a wonderful meal. 

Gale knew, he knew that Yrelia didn’t need Gale of Waterdeep and that she didn’t want dragons made of fire or impressive teleportation spells, but there was a part of him that still wanted to show her what he had been capable of. Surely she would have understood what he was, what he could have been. 

But she always smiled and kissed him. 

“I love Gale Dekarios,” she would say. “He’s all I want.”

Gale approached the large building where Yrelia’s tests were held with rain pouring down on him. His broken umbrella in his hand and a frown on his face. He watched as Yrelia stood under the awning sticking her hand out in the rain. 

He recognized his love immediately. Her black curls in a ponytail, her bow strapped to her back, comfortable clothing that safely covered her chest. 

A man was talking to her. No, based on the body language he was flirting with her. Definitely something he had seen before. He should be used to it. It shouldn’t bother him, and yet it did. Deep in his stomach low embers of insecurity and jealousy burned. 

Yrelia responded to the man with one word answers but looked otherwise distracted. She sighed and retracted her hand from the rain, adjusting her bow on her back. She looked over in Gale’s direction and she froze. 

She stared at him in shock for a moment before opening her mouth. “Gale?!” She called in an incredibly worried tone. She held out her hand, inviting him over to her.

He rushed over, placing his cold, wet hand in her warm and dry one. “Lia.”

“What on Toril are you doing out in this weather?” She asked, taking his face in her hands. “You’re completely soaked. Where’s your umbrella?”

He brought it to their eye level and she blinked. “I thought I could come to you and walk you home so that you wouldn’t have to walk in this terrible weather. Unfortunately it seems the wind has other plans for us.”

Her eyes widened in shock. She opened her mouth and closed it before smiling softly. She pulled him in and kissed him. Her wonderful warm lips against his. “I love you,” she said and kissed him again. “I love you, I love you.” She pressed her lips against his for a third time. She pulled away and he stared at her soft expression. She took his hands in hers and kissed them. “My beloved, you didn’t need to come for me.”

He nuzzled her nose, taking his hands from hers and pressing them into her hips. “I would hardly be your dashing and romantic fiancé if I left you to walk home alone in this storm.”

She huffed a laugh. “I could have waited for the storm to end.”

“My lady, Waterdeep storms can be quite long and unruly, you could have been waiting until tomorrow before you were able to come home to our warm tower.” She chuckled, a knowing smile prompting him on. “I missed you,” he admitted. “And I wanted you to come home.”

A warm and so soft expression spread across her face. She kissed his lips slowly, wrapping her arms around his back. She pulled him against her and deepened the kiss. Gale was lost in the feeling of her warm body under his fingertips, of her soft lips against his. She pulled away and he breathed on her lips, his heart racing enough that it distracted him from his cold and wet skin. “I love you,” she said and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips. “Let’s go home.”

He blinked. “Dearest…” he said and she pulled away from him. “Yrelia,” he tried again as she stepped back towards in the rain. She grabbed his wrists and started to pull him with her. “You’re going to get soaked and-” 

She cut him off with a warm and wet kiss. She chuckled against his lips as they kissed in the rain. She pulled away but not before nipping at his bottom lip. “Too late,” she laughed. 

Gale sighed, as he watched her walking backwards in the cold, pouring rain. He dutifully followed her, not breaking eye contact. The rain hit him, his hair sticking to his face. He watched as rain soaked her clothes, clinging to her skin and highlighting her body in a way that made his blood rush. “What about your friend?” He asked slowly. 

She made a face that told him she had no idea who he was talking about. “What? Friend? They’ve all left. Are you talking about the guy who wouldn’t stop talking to me out here? He’s hardly what I’d call a friend. More of an annoyance, actually.” 

He blinked and she kissed him again. “Not to open the proverbial can of worms, but, my darling, I also don’t stop talking at times.”

“I like it when you do it.” She smiled. “Come on, let’s go home. There’s a hot bath waiting for us.” She pulled him along. “And don’t think you’re getting away with coming to get me in the downpour. I have my plans for you once we are warm and dry.”

He stopped walking and grabbed her hands. She smiled curiously at him. He watched a wide grin grow on her face when he pulled her in. He kissed her hard, tangling his fingers in her hair, earning him a soft moan from her throat. If he wasn’t a gentleman and also in public he’d paw at her body, feeling her skin under her wet clothes. He would bury his face in her neck, biting her throat in the way that made her breathless. 

“Mmm,” she hummed. “Do you think this can wait until we’re home? I’ve discovered that Waterdeep rain is incredibly cold.”

“Yes,” he whispered to her lips before pressing his lips against them again. “Yes, of course.”

She kissed him chastely before grabbing his hand. “Come, my love, our home awaits.”

His heart leaped out of his chest as soon as the words left her mouth. He followed after her, letting her lead him along. The grey of stormy Waterdeep seemed to brighten into colors he thought had been lost to him as he followed her every step. The color of tavern lights reflected in puddles, stained glass shining through the droplets, her black hair that almost shined a deep purple sticking to her skin.  

It was like when he was in Baldur’s Gate, following after an incredible woman who he couldn’t respect more. 

He always made sure to match her steps, never falling too far behind. A wizard close at hand was always something that would be beneficial. Someone to time the perfect counterspell when needed. Someone to cook her stew when it’s too cold out for her bones. Someone to talk to for long hours, hoping that the soft look she had in her eyes was something meant just for him. Someone to hold her hand, embrace her body, kiss her brow, and whisper how much he loved her in her ear. 

He let out a breath when he saw the joyous light in her eyes. 

“I love you” wasn’t nearly enough. 

Yrelia laughed as she opened the door into their home. She pulled him in with a grin that made him forget every one of his troubles, every single worry he had disappeared. 

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his palm. He immediately cupped her cheek and stepped close to her. She grinned, her face lighting up as lightning struck in the distance. He breathed on her lips. He could feel the heat radiating off of her body and he heard his heartbeat pound in his ears. 

A mischievous glint shone in her eyes. She grabbed his biceps with her strong hands and leaned into him. His heartbeat grew louder as she licked his bottom lip. 

“Mister Dekarios! Miss Rosewood! You’re absolutely soaked!” Tara said from her spot on the chair. 

Yrelia snorted. “Yes, we’re actually about to take a bath.” She grabbed Gale’s hand and started to pull him along, Gale too mesmerized to say or do anything else. “I didn’t realize how cold the rain gets here!”

“Oh, indeed,” Tara said. “Be sure to take care and not become ill. That’s the last thing any of us need!”

Gale stood naked in his bathroom, watching Yrelia choose between which scents she wanted to use for their bath. Usually he would have some sort of opinion but all he could think about was her smile, her touch, her kiss. He stared at her naked body, gooseflesh forming on her skin, her nipples growing hard, her wet hair sticking to her back, and a multitude of very heated thoughts played in his mind.

“Yrelia,” he called. 

She looked up from her soap bottles and smiled at him. “Yes?”

“I love you.” 

Her smile grew. She set the bottles on the counter and walked over to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his lips. He palmed her ribs, squeezing gently. His hands slid down her body slowly, feeling the curve of her waist to her hips. 

“I love you, too,” she said and kissed him again chastely. She rubbed her nose against his and had a gentle smile on her face. 

He sighed and kissed her forehead. “My Lia,” he started. “I love you in a way I never thought myself capable of. You brought me back to life, back from the abyss. If not for you I’d be in a much darker place. I’d be dead, in fact. But you…you saved me from such a fate. I can never fully repay you for what you’ve done for me.”

“Well,” she sang. “If you’re looking for a way to repay me, more kisses would be a good start,” she said with a grin. 

He kissed her. “Is that truly all you desire? I could do so much more for you. You deserve much, much more than kisses.”

“Well they’re your kisses so I think it’s the perfect exchange,” she said with an amused grin. “But if you’re so determined to give me more, perhaps I could have your hand in marriage, full access to your home, shared income, home cooked meals, a warm, comfortable bed, and sex at least twice a week. No, at least three times a week.” She kissed him. “Oh, wait, you’ve already given me all of that.”

“My lady-”

She kissed him, cutting him off. “Gale, I’ve told you this before but you’re all I want. All of your affections, simple or otherwise, are what I want.” 

“Yrelia, the impact that your presence has graced me with is insurmountable. My entire life would be in ruin if not for you. If not for your love then everything I’ve ever done would have been for naught.”

She smiled softly. She brought her hand up and cupped his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “I didn’t convince you to live just because I love you. I did it because your life is worth living.” A worried smile spread across her face. “You deserve better than to die for a mistake. Your family deserves better than your death. Your friends and colleagues deserve better than your death. I deserve better than your death.” She sighed. “There are many people who would grieve your absence, including me, I just convinced you that you’re worth your relationships. You don’t need to thank me for convincing you to live, it was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.” Her smile relaxed. “Now, let’s get into the bath before I freeze. I’m quite cold.”

He wrapped his arms around her and held onto her tightly. “You’re wonderful,” he breathed. “The lonely vacancy in my heart is now filled with you. I hope you understand your worth to this old wizard.”

“Darling, you’re thirty five, you’re hardly old. We have many years ahead of us.” She took his face in her hands and placed a loud kiss on his lips. “And I know how much I mean to you. Do you think I would agree to marry you if I didn’t mean that much to you?” She kissed him again. “Now I’m going to get in the bath with or without you because I’m freezing.”

Gale sighed as he sank into the hot water. He relaxed as Yrelia leaned against him, immediately wrapping his arms around her. She giggled softly, her fingertips tracing his knuckles gently. 

He placed kisses on her neck and shoulders, refusing to leave her unkissed, untouched, or unsatisfied. He murmured over and over that he loved her to her wet skin. 

She sighed with a smile and he felt her relax against him. “I cried today,” she said softly. 

Gale stopped kissing her and sat up straight. “Lia, why? What happened?”

“It’s the strangest feeling,” she said after some silence. “I had accepted that I was unwanted by almost everyone years ago. After my parents and my older siblings, after that last relationship, it was just something I had to come to terms with. I had accepted that I was going to die alone but now…” she trailed off. 

Gale palmed her stomach. “But now?” He prompted, his curiosity getting the better of him. 

“But now I’m not alone,” she said “Before I met you, I was in a hopeless situation. Now, seven months later, I’m in a new city, I’m engaged, I’ve started making friends and I get along with my fiancé’s family. I never thought this would happen to me.”

“You never thought that you would have this life?”

“I never thought I would be happy.” Gale let out a breath. He opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off. “And today it really dawned on me that everything is different now, I’m not in some hopeless situation. I’m happy, and when I realized that I cried.” She snorted. “All this happened because I went to get my hunting license.”

Gale leaned in and kissed her cheek. “It fills me with joy that you’re happy here with me,” he said to her skin. 

“Well, it’s not everyday that someone finds me as interesting as you do,” she said with a chuckle. 

“You are incredibly interesting,” he said. “Intriguing, as well, and, I would know this best, spellbinding.”

She laughed. “You’re also one of the few people who find me attractive.”

“Darling, you are undoubtedly beautiful. Sometimes I look at you and can barely comprehend why you’ve decided to grace me with your alluring and winsome smile.”

“You miss me when I’m gone.”

“If there’s one thing that being separated during the day has taught me, it’s that you deserve far more kisses than I’ve given you. You deserve kisses every hour, minute, second of the day.”

She laughed again. “This is what I mean! You’re so sweet, Gale, how could I possibly ever expect to find someone who would run out into a cold downpour just so I wouldn’t get wet? All I had to do was be abducted? Easy enough.”

“Darling,” he chuckled. “That’s certainly one way of accepting our unfortunate meeting.”

She snorted. “We met under very unfortunate circumstances but it wasn’t all bad.”

“It was fairly terrible, Lia, we nearly lost our lives many times.”

“But, you know, despite all that, you got plenty of kisses.”

“That is true. I could never discount your kisses,” he said and kissed her cheek, grinning as she giggled.

Gale reclined in his bed, reading one of Yrelia’s books. She had laughed and said they weren’t anything special, just cheesy romances, but he insisted on reading them. He wanted to know all of his love’s interests, even if they were simple romance novels. 

“Beloved, that dinner was delicious,” Yrelia said as she stood in front of the fireplace. She threw some of the previous year’s logs into it with a hum. 

“Thank you, my love. I’m happy you find my humble food acceptable.”

She snorted. “We’ve had this conversation about our different definitions of humble.” He grinned but didn’t look away from the book. “Are you sure you want to light a fire tonight? It’s not autumn just yet.”

“I’m sure,” he said. “The weather will start to become colder with every day that passes,” he reasoned. “This was only the first night of the oncoming autumn rains. In any case, don’t think I’ve forgotten about how cold you tend to be.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

Gale raised his brow but still did not look away from his book. “On the road you were always cold. I remember because even on the warmer days you insisted on curling up to me.”

She didn’t respond. Gale thought it strange so he finally looked up from the book. He peered at her extremely amused expression. “Gale, you are socute.”

He blinked. “Why?”

She snorted. “Let me light the fire and then I’ll come to bed.”

“Dearest, don’t evade my question.”

Her grin grew as she lit the fire. She walked over to his side of the bed and kissed his forehead. She took the book from his hands and set it aside before climbing into bed and on top of him. 

She leaned in and kissed him slowly. She untied her robe and sat naked atop him. He no longer cared about the answer to his question. 

He caught her lips when she kissed him deeply. “I do believe I said that I have plans for you.” She kissed him again before he could respond. 

His hands gently glided up her back and he pressed his fingers into her skin, easily giving in to her lips, to her tongue, to her teeth. He willingly accepted her gentle touch. He enthusiastically responded to her heated affections with his shaking fingers tangled in her hair, gasping and pleading with her for release as she teased him. 

Of course he wouldn’t let her end the night like that. He laid her down, his heart leaping out of his chest and into her arms as she giggled into his kisses. Her giggles turned into satisfied sighs by the time he was done with her. 

He brushed his lips against a bite mark left on her collarbone as she ran her fingers through his hair. “My love, how do you feel about accompanying me out tomorrow evening?” He kissed another mark. 

“Hmmm,” she hummed lazily with her eyes closed. “Where?”

“Excellent question,” he said and kissed her throat. “I don’t believe I’ve shown you the Heroes’ Garden yet,” he said and kissed her chin.

“You haven’t.” She tilted her head to his lips but he kissed her cheekbone instead. 

“Ah, so then we will spend an evening there followed by a most wonderful meal at a fine establishment.” He kissed her nose. 

She hummed again. He kissed her forehead. She blinked open her eyes and looked up at him. “And what will I wear?”

“I’m glad you asked!” She snorted in response. She wrapped her arms around his neck and had an amused smile on her face. “You see, my dear lady, I was planning on stopping by my tailor tomorrow after my lectures have been completed. There’s a wonderful dress I had commissioned that will look lovely on you.” He grabbed her wrist and kissed it. 

“Ah! The real reason you’ve decided to take me out, I see.”

He scoffed playfully. “As if I need any reason to take my darling fiancée out for an intimate evening.” She giggled in response. He kissed her wrist again. “I love you. I don’t say that nearly enough.”

Yrelia smiled tenderly. She pulled him in. “You say it quite a bit, my love. In fact, you say it more than you realize.” She kissed his chin. “Last night you said it at least five times. The night before three times.”

He sighed. “Perhaps you should wear earplugs while you sleep?”

“And miss out on you reciting your lesson plan word for word?” She laughed. She kissed his lips. “It doesn’t bother me, Gale. It’s comforting, in fact. On the nights I can’t sleep, I have your voice.”

“That’s…definitely something that I had never expected to hear. Most people want me to stop talking.”

“Beloved, if I didn’t want to hear your voice I wouldn’t have agreed to marry you.” 

Gale wondered if in time she would grow to find his voice annoying. All these little quirks could one day grate on her. He knew it could happen as relationships age. Something someone once found endearing was now irritating. And while he couldn’t think of anything of Yrelia’s he would ever find exhausting, so much of him was. 

He accepted her kiss when she leaned in. “I love you,” she said, “and I always will.” She kissed him again. “Now, do your duty and cuddle me until I fall asleep.”

He chuckled and kissed her. “Is that what you desire?”

“I do.” She grinned when he kissed her again. “If you happened to continue to do that I wouldn’t complain.”

He grinned when she laughed when he started to kiss her all over her face, giving in to her earlier demands of more kisses. 

[not-poignant]

For the meme!!! 21 - 22 - 23

We love a sequential number sequence :D

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

I mean, yeah, maybe one day! I don't want to quit writing, I certainly don't wish I could. I love this job! It's been my favourite ever job! It's also been the hardest fucking job I've ever done!!! But I still love it :'D

I don't want to say 'I'm never going to quit' - I don't know what the future might bring. The arthritis in my hands is pretty bad, maybe one day I'll be in too much agony to justify it. Maybe one day I'll just stop enjoying it. I don't believe in sticking something out forever based on how I feel about it now!

I can say with all confidence that I don't want to quit. The biggest flaw in this version of my job is that it doesn't pay super great for the amount of work that goes into it. BUT, it definitely pays better than working as a professional artist did, and there is growth, and amazing people do support the Patreon, so it's like...that flaw becomes less of a flaw over time.

I love this job. It wasn't one I would have picked for myself, but it's introduced me to the best people, it's something I feel I'm actually pretty good at (maybe I'm not, but this is a nice feeling to have), and it's kind of unique. I get to be my own boss (I'm a mean boss, but I'm getting better), and I get to work from home, and I can accommodate my chronic illnesses. I get to spend time in amazing worlds, with amazing characters, and then I get to reply to amazing comments and asks made by amazing people.

Like, when this job is going well, I feel like one of the luckiest people. When this job is hard I just groan a lot and take painkillers for editing headaches. But like, the good parts of this job are very good!!

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

I'm pretty organised.

So, all of my chapters are written in Microsoft Word and saved directly into Dropbox (with offline storage as well). All of my folders are also very well organised. I have a naming system for each chapter, and everything is chained together pretty well.

On top of that I now use Obsidian for worldbuilding (it's free! Though you can pay and they deserve money for their awesome service). I used to use World Anvil but found it too clunky for my personal needs. I have about 4 Obsidian vaults now (i.e. different worlds) and they look like this:

You can see a chained folder system on the left, and the graph view on the right.

And the information in the individual files is set up like a Wiki page:

Not all of my worlds get this treatment, but Underline the Rainbow, Vexteria, Mallory & Mount and something else I've forgotten about all have vaults. Fae Tales doesn't, because I didn't know Obsidian existed when I started worldbuilding for that, lol, so all of that is in Word.

And then I will on occasion just write in notepads and in Paperblanks journals when I need to brainstorm stuff. This part of the process is especially useful when plotting, brainstorming names or titles, or figuring out the end of a story.

I don't use Google Docs (don't actually like it), Scrivener (hate it, sorry Scrivener fans), or anything else. Word has its issues, but it does well enough for me. I actually formatted Perth Shifters in Word.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

I write in a study dedicated to art/writing, because those have been my jobs for over 15 years. I sit at a large desk, and have a desktop computer with one monitor (I've wanted two monitors for such a long time), a decent speaker system, and a good RGB hard-drive.

It's a mess, lol.

Hang on let me show you:

I have stickers on the desktop by the immaculate WhiskeyRabbit. I have a bunch of art supplies, and art in various stages of completion (the raven is finished, Augus behind the raven is not). There's meds and supplements everywhere. I have my Metformin (diabetes meds) in front of me because I often eat where I work, lol. I have some Sank collectible toys on the subwoofer because I find Sank very inspiring. And lots of art behind me like I'm some 18 year old instead of the 41 year old I actually am.

Oh and like, some half-finished chocolate blocks, lmao. And some fingerless gloves, a tea-towel, notepads for my writing, a calculator for my wordcount, a little spiky massage ball for the muscle/fascia issues in my wrists from writing so much, and much, much more.

It's a very ADHD desk. I do not notice the mess, lmao.

To my left is my writing whiteboard which tracks my writing and the chapters I've completed for the year, and my yearly wordcount to date. It also has some pinned up fanart and gifts from readers to keep me going when things get hard! :D

--

From the Weird Writing Questions meme!

[museum-spaces]

Hey nerds,

I am queuing this up to post at a normal time as it is getting quite late here in Camel Town.

I have some pretty big news. I will be leaving Camel Town asap - at least a month but hopefully not much more than that. Y'all know that I find Camel town... frustrating to put it mildly. Well I have managed to get pretty much all the way through the process of becoming an Executive Director for a museum in Vancouver. It is still a small community museum, not anything like the Museum of Anthropology or anything like that, but they want me. And I want to be in Vancouver.

I had 4 [3.5] interviews with them, they are now checking my references and I just got the ball rolling on a police background check. I found a place for Ianto and I to live and its basically around the corner from where my brother lives and works.

Obviously, I could still not get the job. BUT I was told that I am the only candidate they are running a background check on or whose references are being spoken to so far.

The 'ideal' start date is 24 June 2023, but they recognize that that is very soon so are flexible on that front. They also want a long term employee. If it works out to be a better working environment I might stay but I wouldn't hold my breath. I have come to realize that museums and I do not mesh well since 2020 and I am prepared to move on once I have a place to land.

That's part of why being in Vancouver is such a blessing; I will be more able to enrol in a few classes a semester at UBC or SFU. SFU actually has a campus within.... a bit of a hike... of the museum.

Camel Town is a hard place to live for me. I have some really good friends who love it to death - they just got chickens. He wanted 2, they got 12 lol. But I need the city. Even if I have to go back to wearing ear plugs 24/7 the ability to get around will be life changing. Also fewer deer. And proximity to Ocean.

Ianto and I are also on the waitlist for a 'little' sibling for him. More details of that to come.

So, yeah.

Big changes coming for me.

I don't know where Ianto and I will end up, but I am looking forward to finding out.

Also, I have been having serious thoughts about deleting this blog. Given how museums are tied intrinsically to my mental well being, it may not be healthy for me to maintain this blog in the long run. I will let you lovely nerds know with lots of advanced warning and shepherd you as best I can to other museum-y blogs. But just wanted to give you a heads up.

The deactivation of the blog would probably happen if/when I leave the sector. But there is a chance that I will need to step back again like in 2021.

Its something that has been cooking in the back of my mind for a long time. Most of my time in Camel Town tbh. It just took me until about 2 weeks ago to verbalize it... or whatever you'd call having a realization via tumblr messenger with a friend. Some day I might share the art I made to help me work through the amorphous emotions... Probably not though. soz.

[drdemonprince]

how do i get my therapist (who has experience working with autistic ppl) to stop viewing me through a neurotypical lens?

when I brought up that I'm struggling to show up to a social function due to a number of factors (overwhelming loud environment, not knowing them that well, not much time to recoup after an overstimulating workday), she said I was engaging in "negative self-talk" and needed to think more positively. I've heard this from other therapists too but I really don't see the self-esteem angle.

or when i mentioned I've been suffering from insomnia, and mentioned that I make lists to help me fall asleep (eg: something with my special interests, like list the entire taylor swift discography, lol), she said that was definitely the reason I couldn't fall asleep because it requires too much focus (even though I'd been doing that for years as a method and the insomnia part is new...). she said i need to "clear my mind" instead when that's never worked for me.

i know the correct answer is "find a better therapist" but i just. they're ALL like this from my experience. and i guess i'm just wondering what some other red flags might be in a therapist who specifically works with autistic clients.

thank you for taking the time to read this, i know this is a long question so no pressure to respond! xx

Yeah, it sounds like it's time to hit the bricks. This therapist sounds invalidating, dismissive, and not at all introspective about their own assumptions and process.

Have you tried telling them that their view of you and your way of functioning is colored by really neuronormative assumptions? How do they respond to disagreement or challenge in general? Do they respect you? Have they demonstrated that they can self-reflect and apologize when they get things wrong? If all or most indications point to no, this therapist is not just useless to you, they're actively harmful, and I think you probably ought to stop wasting time and money being exposed to their feedback.

As for the fact that nearly all therapists appear to be like this -- that is by design. The entire enterprise of psychiatry and psychology is to impose a neuronormative standard onto all people, and to attempt to correct for any deviance from that standard that is observed. Therapists are overwhelmingly privileged people who have not been trained to consider factors of systemic oppression and exclusion, and in fact these dynamics are often ones they do not comprehend. Therapists are bad at being compassionate and helpful toward Autistic people because psychology as a field philosophically does not see us as okay as we are. So you will likely run into this problem again and again.

The only good therapist is one who is willing to betray the most oppressive norms of the field, and that's a rare thing. You will likely have to grill potential therapists on their knowledge and understanding of neurodiversity before you hire them in order to determine if they would be a good fit. It's exhausting and people often find it scary, but just remember that they work for you, and there is no reason for you to be paying someone to tell you that you're defective.

(Of course, there might be some benefits that you find you are receiving from therapy, even with this person's many flaws, and if that's the case, by all means stick with them if you think it balances out. Trust your own judgement. I'm just a cranky ideologue on the internet I don't know your life. Tho neither, it seems, does this therapist).

[ndostairlyrium]

MA QUANTO TEMPO, wait that I'll throw you some family prompts.

👩, 👍 for Hawke, 💕, ✨ for Ankh, 😞, ⚰️ for Ela!

( of course, skip any you don't like, they're… A lot, LOL)

GLI EONI 💛💛

Hawke:

👩 - What's your muse's relationship with their mother, what made it that way?

Leandra is a very cautious person, protective of her children. Being Hawke the guy with the thunderous laugh in the back of the room and the occasional "I turned Carvers hair into moss because he was being annoying" sibling, you can see why their relationship was rocky to say the least. Malcolm acted like Switzerland between them but most of the times it wasn't enough. They were clearly different people, they still are.

It's when Malcolm died that Hawke realized that his mother was acting a certain way for a reason, consequently he changed his behavior to ease her role as a single parent. He soon became someone to rely on, working alongside her with much more passion, plus he toned down his personality to avoid unpleasant attentions.

Usually, when parents are left alone with children depending on them, they either become superheroes with iron shoulders or they look for another adult in the room for assistance. In Hawke's case, unfortunately the second option happened. He was treated like the other adult in the household while he was still developing his identity. I think that's one of the reasons why Carver just antagonizes him at every possible occasion; he's not his dad and he's not acting like his silly big brother again. Who is Hawke? Why he's in charge? Why does he think it's best to do certain things without even consulting him and Bethany about it?

I can sympathize with Leandra for acting like this tho, growing three kids (two of them being mages) without someone helping is probably one of the hardest roles you can ever have. "Yeah but she could've asked for help rather than putting such responsibilities to her kid"

Listen Judy, the woman has kids with magic. What if she asked for help to the wrong person? One that could give templars a call and just take what's left of her family away, for example. She's alone, in a different country, her dreams have just been shattered in the worst way. She's just a human trying to survive an environment that is trying to crush her; realistically, a perfect reaction to crises rarely occurs.

What I'm trying to say is, Leandra's situation has never been easy. But she was also the adult in the room and she wasn't fair with her older kid.

Hawke took the lead because he understood his mother's struggle, but she failed to fulfill her children needs in return. But she also did her best? That's why Hawke was adamant to give her a better life in Kirkwall, he knows she could have done more, but also he knows that she just needs a different environment to grow and thrive.

tl;dr: he knows her flaws, but he can't help but love her profoundly even if he has all the rights to fail and process his trauma without having to act like nothing can touch him

👍 - Does your muse think they’re a good child and/or sibling?

No, because he blames himself for everything bad happened to his family. But he's a great child and sibling.

Ankh:

💕 - What are your muse’s thoughts on parenting and being a parent even if they aren’t one?

Actually, I never planned anything for this lol

I know she wants to generate a chaos elemental and the guy is into the idea as well, but there are quite the maluses involved in such a concept (anchor messing up with the inquisitor's body, age, lyrium influence on fertility, plus elves being unfortunate when it comes to their reproductive system). Hopefully they'll have that experience, I'm just not too eager to explore the implications surrounding it :'D and Bonbon is already a fulltime parenting job. Could be a training ground for the most poofy haired kid in existence? We'll see, we'll see

✨ - How important is family to your muse?

Fundamental.

Her concept of family is different from the standard parent 1 parent 2 (3,4...), plus spawn. For her, family is the ensemble of all her loved ones, including her clan, her people in general, and the ones who entered her life by seeking her protection. She doesn't think of her blood relatives more than she would think of Cassandra.

Which is why when someone betrays her, the world just stops making sense.

Ela:

😞 - Finding an orphaned child would your muse opt to take them in, find someone more qualified, or just leave them?

A Warden's life is not suited for a child. Before the Chantry just forced the Wardens to get rid of Anders, probably she would have left them to a flock of mothers/sisters to take care of them. In this moment she would probably claim a couple of favors and place them in the most suitable household. The girl has a heart

⚰️ - How would the loss of a family member affect them? Does it vary based on type of family member?

Being a traumatized orphan still, she would take the loss of his brother in the most heartbreaking way possible. She knows her clock is ticking faster than his, and it would be an upsetting surprise if he was the one walking through the Veil first.

She would honor his name by all means, even if this would end in losing all the freedom she struggled to capture all those years she was away from Highever. She would return home and stay in court to protect the designated heir until the situation is cleared from any threat, sacrificing her tasks in order to celebrate what her brother accomplished while she was away.

Now

If Alistair died (Warden Alistair in my worldstate) it would be tragic in the most greek-theatre-like possible way, because he became the most stable presence in her life since the loss of her family. He's the air she breathes, her compass whenever the morality of a situation gets blurry, the man that made her say "not all men suck" for once. She wants to give him a better future, it's irrelevant if she's involved in it or not.

She knows she's on borrowed time, grasping every minute with what's left of her nails, but he doesn't need to carry such burden. He deserves happiness, he deserves the world. And she wants to give it to him on a silver platter.

If her brother died she would have a plan, but if Alistair died nothing in her life would make sense anymore.

The ask meme

[ahiddenpath]

Hidden’s Life

It’s been a week at the shiny new job.

For some background info, I’ve always worked at relatively small biotech companies.  I’ve been to three before this new one; I researched biodiesel made from algae as an undergrad, then I made tools for researchers for about 5 years (mostly genes, CRISPR kits, and lentivirus), and then I started doing immunotherapy research for the last 6 years.  Unfortunately, that last company wasn’t doing well, and things got worse and more emotionally charged as time went on and money and staff dwindled.

So my latest job is...  Um, it’s the big leagues.  It’s a worldwide company, a household name.  I’m so blown away by the resources here- machines that do on their own what an entire department did at my old job, entry level baby scientists hired to make all of our plates/buffers, even night personnel to respond to night time equipment failure?!?!  I received an email one day explaining that a -80C freezer failed overnight, and the email’s sender moved everything from X freezer to backup freezer Y.  No one was called at 3 AM to come in and deal with this; someone is specifically hired to monitor the labs at night.

The building has a café and a health center and a zillion other services for employees.  For example, I was emailed to ask if I want a titer for hepatitis B.  Hepatitis B is one of the more contagious/easily spread human bloodborne diseases.  At my last job, I was suddenly told I would be working with human blood, and was asked to get vaccinated for hep B...  A process that took almost 8 months, as I had exactly zero antibodies for it in my blood (that’s what a titer is- they draw your blood and check for the presence of protective antibodies against hep B already in your body, then decide vaccine dosage from there).  Back then, it took 8 months, and my company made me work with blood the whole time, before I was protected.

My new company won’t give scientists access to the bio safety level (BSL) 2 lab until they either decline vaccination formally or finish their vaccination series.  Plus!  THERE IS A BSL2 SPECIFIC LAB!  You need to be trained to go there and given access!  It’s walled off from everyone else, limiting exposure and making sure no one cross contaminates equipment!  I cannot believe how out of compliance my last two companies were in comparison!  (Even better, there is currently no expectation of me going in there at all, I’m getting vaccinated because, like, why not?  EVEN BETTER, the facility lacks BSL3 and 4 labs entirely, so I will never be asked to go above 2!  They prefer to contract that work out to existing experts, rather than put us untrained folks in harm’s way).  

AND!  AND!  I can do all of my vaccine stuff in the building!  I just had to walk down the stairs and give some blood, it took five minutes!

So um...  Yeah, it’s a really nice and safe environment, is what I’m saying.  There are some downsides- it’s awful “sit anywhere you want, you don’t get a seat” open seating.  I am the type that likes to hunker down and nest, so this is so annoying, but each individual sitting area is really big, so oddly it’s more spread out than when I had assigned seating.  

Um, so far, it seems good?  I actually feel really set loose and ignored, lol, because there are so many computer training modules.  I was basically welcomed with a 30 min meeting with my new boss and left alone to do computer modules and attend meetings the rest of the time.  But no one is expecting independent work from me for at least a month, and I’m looking forward to when I get lab clearance and can follow people around more.  So far, the only downside has been... loneliness and a vague sense of, “Er, I GUESS I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing...”

I’m hoping I can take advantage of the many, MANY end of year events (seriously there is a solid week of work hosted parties) to make friends while people don’t have as much work.  

Another odd thing, at least in my mind, is that people do not goof off in the office area.  This isn’t to say people don’t goof off- they just do so in designated goofing off areas.  If you wanna look at your phone or take a call, you go to a break room.  If you’re sitting in the office, the expectation is that you are working.  It’s a bit odd, as I’ve never worked anywhere with the funds to provide goof off areas???  

People seem busy, but not stressed/frustrated/bitter/resentful, which was a huuuuuge problem at my last place.  Being tired from working hard but not being upset vs being tired from working hard and feeling like everything is unfair and you’re being unfairly treated and everyone around you is miserable?  Those are two very different feelings.  And I am exhausted, my guys.  I keep passing out at 9 PM on the sofa.  I slept 12 hours last night, and I’m still so so so tired.   Learning so many new things and adjusting takes a huge toll on me.   

But...  IDK, I think things are going to be fine here.  I sure hope so!  They definitely are doing a ton of important work.  Among many other things, my new team makes covid medications- not vaccines, I mean meds you take if you get it- and it looks like the work I do is going to have actual impact on people who are sick.  I’ve already been in meetings where we discuss the next breakout variant, how many people will have it in how long, and what possible antibodies we have that could neutralize the new variant in patients.  Everyone is really passionate about it.  

At my last job, anything I worked on was like 10+ years and a shit ton of luck away from actually helping anyone (other than by discovering things that DON’T work, which, tbh, is a huge part of science).  It seems like the turnaround is just a few weeks at this new company.  Some of that is because covid stuff is so prioritized across the board, but a lot of that is sheer big company money and connections (ie, our collaborators in the NIH public disease know x, which allows us to focus on y as our best bet, etc).

Basically, this is huge for me.  I didn’t even understand how huge it was when I applied, or even when I got the role.  So... fingers crossed that I meet expectations and that training goes well.  

For now, I will be perpetually tired, and there will be times when I’m not online much, let alone creating much, but that will slowly get better.  And hopefully, I’ll feel both more fulfilled, more valued, and less stressed than before.  

Thank you so much for reading all of this, and for caring about me <3  I can’t believe all of the support and love you guys give me, thank you so very much!  I hope you’re all doing well, I love you!

[fycoren]

oh boy oh boy here come my boys

Shattered Shadows

(AKA so very much rambling under the cut)

OK so.

All three of them absolutely thrive in their respective environments, like, they can strike quick & disappear before you process what happened. Defiant Shade in the dark city, Stalk in the sheltered jungle & Riptide underwater.

They're all relatively detached from everyone else in their shatterspaces, but I'll explain those specifics one at a time-

(oh and sonic prime spoilers, yeah)

-

Defiant Shade, is a vigilante, he's anti-egg but doesn't really work with the resistance. He's kind of a street scavenger and built his own gun (though similar to the ones the resistance has)

He's the last of the three Sonic actually meets, he sees what Sonic's doing and, due to having similar interests (that being against the Chaos Council) he starts helping Sonic from the shadows (giving him cover fire and that sort of thing) before just randomly showing up like "alright lets go" lol.

He has this interesting thing where he starts off with a lot of respect for Sonic and then Sonic loses a lot of it- simply by the personality clash. It'll slowly build back up though. He'll learn to work alongside the resistance more etc. Very blunt and does not hold back on his opinions, no matter how harsh.

-

And then we have Stalk. One of the first things you'd notice, is his silence. Stalk makes no noise, doesn't talk nor make any sounds, he's completely silent. He lives in the jungle, as Thorn either cannot catch/find him or has just decided its not worth the effort, as he isn't one of the scavengers.

Most of Boscage's residents would warn you about him, he's dangerous and unpredictable, but his #1 defender is Prim. Prim was once caught in something dangerous, either some other beasts or something of the sort, and Stalk saved her.

He's a lot like a wild animal, he's vicious in protecting his territory, but also curious, and doesn't attack without reason. He definitely understands speech, though with how little he reacts to it sometimes it's unclear if he actually listens or not lol.

He's the first Shadow that Sonic meets, Sonic goes a bit far while trying to get Thorn away from the scavengers, and on his way back realizes he's being followed. After a few failed attempts at getting it off his tail, he manages to trick Stalk and jump him instead of the other way around.

-

And lastly we have Riptide. He's inspired by selkies, allowing him to have the two forms (so long as he has his selkie skin, which, you may lose your hand if you try and grab it). Because I loved the idea of a sea creature Shadow, but he'd need to be able to join everyone in Grim, too.

Riptide was the self-appointed guardian of the Devil's Lighthouse. I'm still thinking on the exact specifics, but he definitely had a hand in Dread's failed attempt in the past. Whether Dread knows or not, I haven't decided yet, I have multiple very different ideas for that stuff.

Personality-wise Riptide is, well, as cool as the sea, having a much more calm demeanor most of the time, knowing he's got the upperhand in most situations while in No Place. He's likely the most agreeable Shadow, if Sonic explains him the full situation, Riptide would allow him to have the prism.

Here's a silly doodle from when I designed him for scrolling all the way down:

Been rewatching Sonic Prime... and I was weak, I couldn't stop the demons.

Soo here's my Shadow variants for all the shatterverses, in an AU where everything else is eeeh about the same, but Shadow was shattered too. Shattered Shadows.

I am so very attached to them. I have many thoughts about them.

[abbaswift]

hi. i was just looking through your blog and realised that you’re autistic. i suspect i might also be autistic, so i wonder how your diagnosis went. at the moment, it is not possible for me to get an official diagnosis (financial issues lol), so if it’s okay for you, what were some of the signs/symptoms you noticed?

hi anon! autism was first talked about when i was about eleven and i was diagnosed when i was fourteen

i don’t remember a lot about my diagnosis (i refused to even speak ha) or why autism was suspected so can’t help you much there unfortunately. i think the doctor asked my teachers and relatives and diagnosed me based on that

family and teachers became aware of my issues because i wasn’t attending school, and was well behaved at school but very avoidant (i have a demand avoidance profile), there were a lot of “quirky” childhood stories that in hindsight make sense, i was very exact and literal about things (like if people say something will take a minute, i’d count to sixty and get upset if it wasn’t exactly sixty seconds). i was very particular about grammar rules from a young age (….believe it or not….) and i hated change and eye-contact and didn’t understand social cues, typical autism stuff i guess

my autism definitely looks different as an adult (but i’m also in a lower stress environment so idk how that has affected it), as a child/teenager i had a lot of meltdowns and frequently felt like i was misunderstood and painted in a bad light for things that were out of my control. now i’m a lot happier, but the autism is still huge in my life (as it always will be). i don’t count to sixty anymore but still have that feeling of wishing people say what they mean.

the biggest issue i have is probably sensory overload, i just feel like i notice sounds in particular more than anyone else i know and it really affects me, i can’t concentrate if i can hear any little noise like the electric buzzing or clocks ticking. if i’m in a busy room chatting to people, i can’t tune out the extra noise so i really struggle to process what people are saying and everyone else seems to be managing fine?? whenever i socialise i feel like i need a day to prepare and a day to recover, it’s so draining. i also have a huge germ / food contamination phobia which is probably related

it’s not all bad, i promise (and it might be very different for you). personally i love applying my logical mind and seeing patterns others don’t, special interests can be great too (when i’m not supposed to be focusing on other things).

i do think that official diagnosis can be really helpful, even just to know you’re not making it up i guess? it’s quite validating. but obviously there are plenty of barriers to diagnosis like cost and time (especially for women and people of colour) and autism is there regardless of whether a doctor acknowledges it. i have a ten year old sister who is right now in the early stages of being referred for diagnosis, it might just be a uk issue but even with obvious traits and family history (me), it’s still taken a long time to get the referral, so i know for a fact how complicated getting diagnosed can be.

if potential autistic symptoms are really impacting your life, maybe your ability to work or learn, and you need proof of diagnosis to get accommodations or even just understanding from people around you, then yeah, get diagnosed when you can. otherwise, maybe just talk to people you trust about what you suspect if you haven’t already. sometimes it’s good to get another person’s point of view. i’ve found that even when the people i was close to weren’t too knowledgeable about autism, they could usually tell that i wasn’t neurotypical.

anyway, essay over. i wish you all the luck in the world with figuring it out and please don’t hesitate to send me another ask or a dm MWAH X

[sunarintoes]

Pretty Setter Squad Boyfriend Headcanons

part one can be found here II wc: 2.4k II includes: kageyama, suga, kenma, akaashi, semi and oikawa II atsumu and shirabu 

rewriting because i cringe at the old hcs 😭

✗ Kagggggsss

✗ The emotionally constipated blueberry <3 oh yeahh 😎

✗ Okay well first off he can barely process his emotions (*cough* evidently *cough*)

✗ When you two first started going out he was quite shy and unsure of what to do so you may have had to guide him a bit, but if youre equally shy then it just would have taken longer to get to where you are now; oh and if that was the case it probably took some random burst of energy/confidence from either one of you to make the first move. 

✗ He will buy you milk but uf you hate it (like me 🤢) he will buy you another drink - like juice :D

✗ I dont think he will be the most affectionate, it’s not his love language - and neither are words haHAH. His love language is most likely quality time and gift giving.

✗ He does like to cuddle though 😳

✗ In fact he really likes to :D his favourite is when youre sitting in his lap while he watches a volleyball game (at home - he hates pda). 

✗ This brings us to our next, short point. Kageyama absolutely despises pda, he just thinks its something meant for closed doors and he does not believe that he has to display his relationship for the whole world to ogle at. The most he will do is light hand holding - mostly just linking your pinkies though.

✗ When it comes to height he does not care if you're smaller or taller than him ← but bb, please don't tease him about his height if he’s shorter because he will blow a fuse.

✗ He alternates between small spoon and big spoon, kinda depending on his mood. 

✗ BOY O BOY does he get jealous. Uh please reign in your setter >:( 

✗ Its mostly due to the fact that he’s insecure about himself - he thinks you will leave him like everyone else (in middle school - yes, he is still traumatised from it.)

✗ When he does get jealous he might be snappy to the other person and glare at them or be snappy at you and glare at you. When this happens please give him space because he needs it to clear his head. When he feels better he will come up to you and hug you into his chest so that he can’t see your face and you cant see his, then he will mumble an apology.

✗ Ever since you two began to date he has practiced apologising and getting better at apologising, this is because his inability to admit to his own mistakes was a sour patch in your relationship that almost ended it but he really did not want to lose you so he sucked up his pride and worked on what he had to; of course you also worked in what you had to. God I love character development 😩

✗ Dates are mostly at home dates or dates revolving around volleyball. If you're not into volleyball, Kageyama would not date you, it's something he is so passionate about and loves with every breath he takes (like you) and he refuses to compromise one love for the other. 

✗ ooooh he likes arcade dates a well! He thrives in a competitive environment. If you're not competitive and don't want to compete against him then he’ll compete for you - against the machines lol. Of course you play as well! But i doubt youre as competitive as this blueberry, and if you are - well i guess at the end of the day youll both be stacked in tokens 🤠

✗ Sugawara my beloved <33

✗ He. Is. So. Affectionate! 

✗ Mans loves skin on skin contact ykwim?

✗ He is down for pda and does not care what others think - only what you think <3. 

✗ I mean he might make out with you in public if you ask nicely 

✗ Dates are very fun with him, he’ll take you to cafes, to amusement parks, to carnivals, to movies and all the like. He’s a cliche lover and he’s proud of it.

✗ Your first kiss happened on New Years Eve/Day. The two of you sat on the roof of his house and watched as the fireworks lit up the starry sky of Miyagi and chanted the count down together. The second ‘one’ left your lips he grabbed your face (softly!!) and pulled you in to crash his lips against yours. 

✗ Suga loves to cuddle, preferably face to face because he just thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world. 

✗ He is not the most jealous person, he definitely does get jealous but never of strangers. It's more when his close friends or your close friends get a bit too comfortable if that makes sense? He normally plays it off with humour and messes around because he acknowledges that he is insecure and that it is most likely him thinking of the worst case scenario; however if he really does start to worry and get jealous then he will sit you down and talk about it with you. To him, communication is key. 

✗ Ngl Kenma is definitely in my top 3 favourites. 

✗ I may or may not be a Kenma kinnie 😳🙈

✗ i love my non-toxic gamer boy <33 anywho: no matter what ANYONE says, kenma is definitely affectionate. In fact I'd say he’s one of the most affectionate boyfriends. As we all know, he is shy and introverted but he likes to hang around and spend time with people he likes. He also talks a lot to them. So I hc that he’s a bit of a chatterbox with you and it makes him really happy when you let him talk about a game or a theory he has. He’s a great listener so you can count on him to pay attention to what you say.

✗ if you didn't already have one, he bought you a switch. He loves video game dates especially when he can't see you in person (*cough* lockdown *cough*) 

✗ he loves when you sit on his lap when he plays video games. I know everyone talks about sitting on their partner’s lap as some sexual thing and yeah that can happen but most of the time he’s really soft with you and just enjoys being close to you. Loves when you cuddle into him while he plays so that he can place his head on yours or your shoulder. 

✗ i think he is a bit shy when it comes to kisses but definitely warms up after a while. He absolutely refuses to sleep if he doesnt get your goodnight kisses. He loves to kiss you on your nose and your cheeks the most. He loves when you kiss him on the forehead and the nose <3

✗ kenma is not one for pda, it's just not his vibe. He prefers intimacy and privacy; his relationship is not a movie for the world to watch and gawk at. Especially timeskip!kenma. Though that does not mean he wont ever show you skinship in public, occasionally he will softly hold your hand and maybe press a light kiss to your cheek. 

✗ in terms of jealousy, he is moderate. Kenma, as we all know, has incredible people reading skills, so he understands the situation pretty clearly and knows when you’re uncomfortable/what you think of the situation. Most of the time you can deal with the unwanted attention and he doesnt get jealous, but he does get insecure. He shows this by going quiet and looking away when you look at him, you can cure this by giving him hugs when you get home. 

✗ Akaashi my beloved <3 he’s so pretty i can't even-

✗ ugh! Just imagine him in a dark/light academia aesthetic. 

✗ perfection. 

✗ akaashi is the sweetest most attentive boyfriend, he loves you to pieces and never fails to let you know. He tells you he loves you every morning and every night. He probably makes meals for you and leaves notes in that have a sweet comment like “i love you, you're the best <3” 

✗ he love back hugging you BUT also receiving back hugs 🥺✨

✗ akaashi is a booknerd and an introvert. Please cuddle up to him and let him read his book to you. 

✗ there are only 2 things that can restore his social battery: sleeping and you.

✗ which means he wants cuddles when he’s tired 😊

✗ he is not jealous. He just doesn't get jealous, maybe annoyed if the third party is being a bit too pushy and you're clearly uncomfortable, but he just never feels jealous. No matter how hard you may try to make him jealous (plz dont cause that's kinda toxic imo) he just won't feel that way.

✗ definitely the ‘mom/dad’ as he carries sinister, pads, bandaids → a whole first aid kit basically, everywhere. Bb must be prepared. 

✗ dates are so sweet with him, cute niche cafes and dimly lit libraries. Maybe the occasional abandoned building. He loves spending time with you, so really he's happiest whenever he’s with you; having coffee at McDonalds or a niche cafe won't change anything. 

✗ he’s hard to pinpoint for pda. I feel like he’s indifferent about it. He probably prefers to keep it indoors or to just small and sweet gestures (no making out in public sorry-). It definitely comes down to your preferences, if you don't like it then he won't and vice versa.

✗ semi semi semi semi semi semi

✗ omg mr musician 

✗ he definitely plays guitar - lead guitar and bass guitar. 

✗ skilled fingies for sure 😗

✗ boy why are musicians so hot???? 😫😫😫💦💦

✗ he writes songs about you. Semsem has a bit of trouble saying exactly how he feels, so he writes it and sings it to you with a small little smile and eyes full of love. 

✗ off topic but Semu has the best music taste in haikyuu

✗ he loves hugs so much <33 please hug and cuddle with him 24/7

✗ very affectionate, he’s always touching you someway. Loves kissing your forehead. 

✗ he is jealous. Yeah definitely. He writes songs about being jealous 🗿 not that you mind of course ‘cause they're bangers. I think he might get snappy when he’s jealous, not directly at you but at the other person. He definitely gets a bit bitchy. Sometimes he acts that way to you so you've just gotta slap some sense into him. Say something like “what's your problem?” or “tell me what your problem is so i can help fix it.” ← that's probably the best thing to say. 

✗ afterwards he’ll just snuggle with you until he feels better. 

✗ he asks for your opinion about his songs all the time, please be honest (but also praise them if you like them lol)

✗ he takes you to niche spots he finds, like hidden concerts and stuff. Loves when you come to his gigs <3 oh and when you scream for him (in more ways than one). 

✗ dates are cute and fun. Mostly walking around together → carnivals, main street, farmers market. Those kind of things. 

✗ when it comes to pda he loves it. Loves being able to show the world who his s/o is. If you don't like it then he will tone it down and only do what you’re comfortable with. If you're also into pda then he will happily make out with you anywhere (you're one of THOSE couples 🤢 /j) 

✗ all round best boyfie <3

✗ oikawa 😳 have i told y'all how much i love him? Oikawa is the best written character, no cap, he is so complex and real it's crazy. It's so fun to write about him because you can pick him apart, you know his flaws, his weaknesses, his nightmares but also his strengths and dreams. Anywho i'll stop ranting now but i just love writing for such a perfectly imperfect character-

✗ he puts up a cocky exterior but thats all false. He's as scared as you are, he's scared that you'll leave him like his exes because of how obsessed and focused he is on volleyball. However he is a changed man, he's learned to balance his priorities. If you ever feel like you're being sidelined please communicate with him. 

✗ he values communication above all else and wants nothing more in a partner than for them to also value communication.

✗ back to the point → if you feel insecure of your relationship and that volleyball is taking too much of his attention let him know. He will change that. To an extent → he may have an important game coming up which is why he is focusing more, but he will always find time for you. 

✗ he never forgets to text you good morning and good night. He also sends you wholesome memes and makes sure you're taking care of yourself - they're like reminders for him to also take care of himself. 

✗ he is both jealous and insecure. Everyone who gets too close to you or spends a lot of time with you, he is jealous of. Jealous because he wishes he could spend more time with you but he knows he can't - not without jeopardising his volleyball career. He's also insecure, because he knows you could just leave him for a more fulfilling, more attentive, more balanced relationship. You know that too, I mean, of course you could leave him but no one would be as good as him. No one could match up to your beautifully flawed boyfriend.

✗ he is affectionate, very, very affectionate. He loves you so much. And because he spends so much time on volleyball, anytime with you he's touching you - memorizing every dint, every curve, everything about you so that he won't ever forget. 

✗ Oikawa has trouble sleeping unless he's with you, he wants to sling to you in his sleep and be grounded and remember that he is loved and cherished and appreciated y'know?

✗ pda is not an issue for him. He doesn't care what anyone else says or thinks :P in this relationship the only opinions that matter are his and your’s. Tell him you're uncomfortable with something and he won't do it, and vice versa. But otherwise, like Semi, he won't mind having a good makeout session with you in the middle of the street ;)

[vrishchikawrites]

Are you still taking prompts?

Cause if so, I'd love to see a time travel fic where post-canon WWX and LWJ get yeeted back into their younger bodies, and land just before the GC transfer. And Post-Canon WWX - who's had some years of being a part of a loving, supportive family, in a non-toxic, non-abusive environment; and therefore no longer has any misconceptions about how much the Jiangs were not his family - takes one look at JC lying there on the table in the cave after WQ knocked him out (and is now in the middle of prepping for surgery); and just goes, "LOL, yeah; nope.😆 Been there, done that; 10/10, would not recommend.😝 Hey, WQ - change of plans!😎"

(Except, you know, not written like crack. 😉)

Not necessary to include, but a fun idea:

JC gets dragged along to the past as well because he has WWX's GC; so whatever sent them back mistook him for part of WWX and brought him along.

So when he wakes up from the anaesthesia, he freaks out about not having a GC anymore. And WWX has this whole story ready to tell young JC about how, "Oops, sorry; you can't have a new GC after all" - but this is Post-Canon JC; so he knows about the transfer, and knows that this means that WWX decided not to do it again.

Which means he ends up screaming at WWX about, "How dare you not give me your GC!"

So WWX feels exactly zero sympathy.

(Before that happened he was maybe feeling a little bit bad for young JC; because that JC hadn't done anything too bad yet - but he already knew how it would turn out if he went through with it. And he was not giving up his chance to cultivate to immortality with his hubby; just so that JC could Feel Like A Real Man, and go on to murder his way through life again.)

What would be really, really great about this, is if WWX had brought JC to Qinghe or Gusu; or somewhere the other cultivation sects involved in the SSC had gathered, before JC woke up. Planning to leave him there where he would be safe. So when JC wakes up and starts screaming, everybody hears him.

And they're all like, "...WUT."🤤

"You expected him to do what?!?"😲😨😱

So instead of all the sympathy and compassion, etc, that he would have gotten over what happened at LP (that he probably did get the first time), or for losing his GC; basically the entire allied cultivation world as a whole is collectively side-eyeing him.

IDK; I just think it would be really funny.

But mainly, I just want to see WWX a few years post-canon; having the chance to do it all again, and choosing not to go through with the GC transfer. LWJ going with him is because the thought of post-canon LWJ losing his WWX makes me sad; and I want them to stay together. 😋

Post-Canon JC going back and getting stuck with the coreless body he deserved is just for my own catharsis.

(The rest of that idea is simply for the lulz.) 😉

(I decided not to include JC traveling back in time. Hope this works and satisfies you!)

“No, I don’t.” Wei Wuxian sees Wen Qing blink and stare at him while Wen Ning stills in the process of making Jiang Cheng comfortable.

“What?” Wen Qing asks but rethinks it immediately, “No, no need to answer that.” She starts packing away her instruments immediately like she’s glad that Wei Wuxian has changed his mind. He looks at her and feels aching fondness rise in his chest. She must be frustrated that he made her go through all of that trouble and yet she still chooses to move before he can change his mind again.

“What… are we going to tell Jiang-gongzi?” Wen Ning asks tentatively but Wei Wuxian notes the faint look of relief in the boy’s eyes.

“We’ll tell him the treatment wasn't possible,” He says, glancing at his… former shidi. It isn’t an easy decision to make, because he knows Jiang Cheng would suffer for it. A part of him feels like he’s being unnecessarily cruel by denying Jiang Cheng his core.

But he has already paid his debt and it cost countless people their lives. Jiang Cheng’s actions didn’t just lead to the death of the Wens. Lan Zhan had told him about the numerous ‘demonic cultivators’ Jiang Cheng had pursued relentlessly. Even his love wasn’t certain how many people died or were tormented to insanity because of Jiang Cheng’s persistence.

While Wei Wuxian doesn’t intend to let the situation get so out of hand, it is apparent that Jiang Cheng can’t be trusted with power.

He is worried about how Jiang Cheng would react. Wei Wuxian had promised him a core, after all. But whatever happens, a powerless Jiang Cheng is safer for everyone.

“We’ll tell him that rebuilding the core is impossible because Wen Zhuliu destroyed his meridians as well.”

“He has,” Wen Qing points out, “I was about to repair them.”

Wei Wuxian frowns, “And can you repair them still? Without transferring the core?” That would certainly help Jiang Cheng heal faster and accept some spiritual energy transfusions. Wen Qing looks at Jiang Cheng with a frown and nods.

“Wei-gongzi… what changed your mind?” Wen Ning asks as Wen Qing goes to work immediately. Wei Wuxian knows that if he has to help the Wens, he needs to tell them the truth. While Wen Ning would trust him and accept his explanation without too many questions, Wen Qing wouldn’t be so easy.

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, getting his thoughts in order. When he opens them again, both of the Wens are looking at him with frowns.

He grins wryly and spreads his hands, "I have a tale for you, my dear friends."

-

Jin Guangyao needed to have his last 'hurrah'. He just couldn't leave them be, even as he died. Whatever he did, whatever tool he used, it sent a shockwave of Resentful Energy that would've killed them all.

As always, Wei Wuxian stepped forward to protect people. As always, Lan Wangji stepped forward to protect him.

Wei Wuxian gritted his teeth and changed his plan at the last moment. At first, he wanted to absorb the energy and channel it somewhere else. But with so many people just lingering instead of running, he needed a different solution.

His mind flashed, he saw Jiang Cheng, and decided.

A forbidden array formed.

-

"I needed something that would use up all of the Resentful Energy and protect everyone, including Lan Zhan."

"So, at the last moment and on the verge of dying, you chose something as improbable as time travel." Wen Qing deadpans. Wen Ning is looking at him with wide eyes. Strangely enough, both look like they believe him. Well, he did mention a few things, personal incidents, that he had no way of knowing if the Wens hadn't told him.

Still.

"I'm not the one for regrets," He says softly as he looks at Jiang Cheng, "But I thought that array was the safest solution. It doesn't harm the current timeline so everyone is safe. Lan Zhan, I know, wouldn't mind following my lead in this." He did regret taking Zewu-jun's brother away from him after such a traumatic event but there really was no other option. Not with Jin Ling so close and so many innocent people in the vicinity.

Wei Wuxian is quite certain that the blast would've destroyed everything around them, including the innocent people around the Guanyin Temple complex.

The siblings exchange glances before Wen Qing returns to Jiang Cheng's side, preparing to work on his meridians, "You're going to change things." She observes, "Save people?"

"Save you and Wen Ning. Save Jiang Yanli. Save innocents, yes."

Wen Qing freezes.

---

Lan Wangji doesn't know what Wei Ying did but he trusts his beloved. When he finds himself in the past, just before the Sunshot Campaign begins and shortly after the fall of the Lotus Pier, he doesn't hesitate.

He knows that his brother is safe and his uncle is managing things at Cloud Recesses. But he also knows that somewhere out there, his beloved is preparing himself for a risky, painful procedure.

Wangji can't let that happen. He thinks back on everything Wen Ning shared with him about the incident, particularly the location of where it occurred. He's probably too late to stop the transfer but perhaps not late enough to stop the Wens from finding Wei Ying.

It takes him days to reach Yiling without the aid of Bichen but he manages and immediately heads towards the approximate location Wen Ning had mentioned.

"Wei Ying," He breathes softly when he spots his beloved shopping for some supplies. He hadn't anticipated finding him so soon but is grateful nonetheless.

Wei Ying is dressed like a peasant and blends in well with the people around him but Wangji can recognize him anywhere.

Dressed discreetly and without his forehead ribbon, Wangji too is inconspicuous. He moves swiftly towards Wei Ying and catches his elbow, eyeing the people in red and white uniform at the far end of the street warily.

"Come." He whispers.

Wei Ying doesn't say a word, just paying the vendor and following Wangji into a more discreet location.

Wangji looks at his beloved's face, drinking in his bright silver eyes and sharp features with acute relief.

"Wei Ying, you… you look well." Strangely so, for someone who has just given up his Golden Core.

Hope stirs in his chest and Wangji reaches for Wei Ying's wrist.

His love's lips quirk in amusement, but Wangji ignores him, focusing on sending his spiritual energy through Wei Ying's meridians.

A strong core pulses in response.

"Wei Ying," Something bright and triumphant burns in his chest and he resists the urge to pull his beloved into a crushing embrace.

He would've supported Wei Ying's decision to give up his core and cultivate with resentful energy again. He knew it wasn't evil or harmful now.

But Wei Ying chose himself. His beloved had finally chosen to save himself.

"Aiya, Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying laughs, "If you keep looking at me like that, I'll do something quite shameless and embarra-"

Wangji kisses him.

He cups that precious face, pulls him close, and slides his lips over soft flesh in a tender expression of love he can't contain.

Wei Ying chose himself.

---

Jiang Cheng returns from his trip to the mountain with a thunderous expression on his face.

He disregards Lan Zhan and grabs Wei Wuxian's arm in a tough grip, dragging him away from the crowded tea house. Lan Zhan follows without a word, his expression frosty and eyes on Jiang Cheng.

"Your Grandmaster," He spits, "Is just as useless and worthless as you. All she could do is repair my meridians! My body was too damaged for anything else, she said!"

Wei Wuxian knows Wen Qing wrote the note they left by Jiang Cheng's side but he hadn't known what she had written.

It must've been reasonably convincing for Jiang Cheng to be convinced.

"That's-" He searches his mind to find words that would be appropriately sympathetic. Saying 'that's too bad' would be just rubbing salt on an open wound.

He may dislike Jiang Cheng, but some of the childhood affection still lingers. He doesn't wish to hurt his former shidi.

"I didn't know," He says finally, his heart throbbing in sympathy at Jiang Cheng's devastated expression. He briefly reconsiders his decision but Lan Zhan shifts discreetly by his side and Wei Wuxian remembers why he made that decision in the first place.

Jiang Cheng had been unworthy of the gift he had been given.

His shidi snarls and turns to Lan Zhan, "What are you doing here, Lan er-gonzi," He snarls, "Coming to triumph in our misery?"

Lan Zhan looks at him flatly, "I came to assist Wei Ying."

"Came to assist Wei Ying," Jiang Cheng mocks, his expression tight and furious, "Well, you're welcome to take him away! There's nothing left for him to destroy. Everything is gone. He invited the wrath of the Wens on our heads to protect you and that led to the destruction of my sect. He couldn't even repay that debt. His Grandmaster failed."

Jiang Cheng turns hate-filled eyes towards him, "You are a curse. My father should have left you to rot on the streets!"

"Jiang Wanyin!" Lan Zhan warns but Wei Wuxian places a hand on the Second Jade's arm to halt him.

"I'm taking you to Meishan to be with shijie." Wei Wuxian says calmly, "And then I'll go join the war efforts."

Jiang Cheng sneers before turning his head away, silent.

Wei Wuxian does as he says. He leaves Jiang Cheng in Jiang Yanli's care and heads to Qinghe with Lan Zhan. The war goes differently than before. He manages to kill Wen Zhuliu and Wen Chao early, which gives them a big morale boost. But that's the only thing that goes their way for a long time.

"I'm going to use it," He tells Lan Zhan once, when the scales tip dangerously in the Wen's favor.

Lan Zhan studies him before nodding gracefully, "I will help."

There's no way to avoid using his cultivation method, not if he wants to keep people safe. He's more careful and restrained this time and he doesn't create the Yīn Hǔ Fú. But Mo Dao is Mo Dao. It attracts disapproval from people regardless.

Wei Wuxian doesn't care and Lan Zhan stays by his side without paying any heed to the grumblings of his clan. He goes to sleep every night with Lan Zhan's guqin notes in his ear and meditates every morning with the Cleansing purging the Resentful Energy from his body.

With a powerful and active Golden Core, Wei Wuxian can't use Mo Dao liberally without risking Qi Deviation. But he uses enough to help them win the war.

Wei Wuxian successfully retakes Lotus Pier and Yunmeng from the Wens. Jiang Cheng's hatred doesn't diminish and even Jiang Yanli grows distant after a while. Jiang Cheng's suffering and downfall hardens something in his soft shijie.

Wei Wuxian accepts that consequence quietly.

He hands Lotus Pier back to Jiang Cheng and stays on the front lines, leaving most of the freshly recruited disciples behind to protect his former martial siblings. When the war ends, argues to keep the Wen cultivators in better conditions. He makes sure everyone knows how much the Jiangs owe the Wen siblings, and saves the children and elderly.

With Jiang Cheng out of the Cultivation World and Wei Wuxian's reputation as a war hero, saving the Wen remnants is easier than it had been before.

---

Everyone is baffled when Jiang Wanyin names a new head disciple and Wei Wuxian never returns to Yunmeng. People gossip, sect leaders question, and new Jiang disciple flounder.

Neither Jiang Wanyin nor Wei Wuxian confirms it but it is clear to everyone that the Jiang Sect has, foolishly, kicked out its most powerful disciple. YunmengJiang remains wealthy but the Sect's influence diminishes significantly once Wei Wuxian leaves.

Other Sects, big and small, scramble to find Wei Wuxian, ready to offer him a place and get a powerful cultivator in their ranks. Letters pour in promising wealth and prestige.

Wei Wuxian ignores them all and settles in Cloud Recesses. He's content to teach a group of eye-wide Lan ducklings now to deal with resentful energy and limit the risk of Qi Deviation. He takes them on Nighthunts, teaches them real-life lessons, encourages creativity, and becomes a well-loved senior.

New YunmengJiang disciples aren't near as strong as their predecessors without someone to teach them properly.

People gossip and speculate as the years pass. They hint that he is wrong to leave his former sect behind but he doesn't care.

Wei Wuxian has Lan Zhan and Lan Sizhui. Wen Qing and Wen Ning live happily in a small farming village not far from Gusu. They intervene before Jin Guangyao kills Nie Mingjue. They save Lan Xichen from heartache. Jin Ling is born and has both of his parents.

That's all he needs to be happy.

YunmengJiang is no longer his responsibility.

[kerie-prince]

the intern

Peter Parker x Reader (college au)

requested: (anon) plz plz plz give me some college aged, super powerful ( think stark ceo powerful ) peter parker shit. idc what the rest of the story is about, i just need a brooding, smoldering, suit wearing, extremely expensive, college aged spiderman. plz and thank you!!!!

warnings: language

summary: When you start a new internship at Stark Industries, you're not only surprised to find Peter working as your boss, but that he's not the shy neighborhood boy you grew up with

a/n: this doesn't follow canon so for this imagine, hammer industries is just a rival company and the snap never happened lol also i don't know anything more than operating a phone so don't expect me to write sciencey, techy stuff lmao

(gif source)

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you were running across the road to jump into a cab that was available. Your phone hadn't been charging all night as you thought it had which caused you to wake up forty-five minutes before the start of the interview. You need this internship before you graduate from Empire State and get your degree in robotics.

On the way there, you nearly got car sick as the driver took sharp turns and nearly ran past intersections seconds before they became red. Once in front of Hammer Industries, your heels clicked loudly as you ran inside the tall building. You checked in with the front desk and took the elevator up to the 10th floor.

Just as you arrived, Justin Hammer was calling your name. “I'm right here!” you nearly tripped on your heels and your breaths were short.

“I've called your name three times, do you understand what that makes you look like, correct?” Justin stood unphased as you stood up straight and tried to steady your breath. “All these people are on time. Some of these folks have been here for hours, even.”

“Yes, sir. I’m so sorry–”

“Shame, I really liked your resume and your report on the expansion of nano-technology. Try again next year, maybe.” Justin started to call out the next participant and when she got up you stepped in front of her, “Please Mr. Hammer, I need this internship or I can't graduate.”

The people in the waiting room had their eyes on the two of you, tension so thick that it was almost hard to breathe. “Then maybe you should have come on time,” he pushed you aside to let the next person in to interview. You quickly ran back out and spoke to no one all the way home. Your eyes and cheeks were aching as you held in the tears during your Uber ride. The driver wanted to ask if you were okay, but if you were to break down in his car he’d probably be stuck having to listen to what happened and if he was honest with himself, he didn't actually care.

Once you got to your apartment, you made a straight line to the kitchen. “Hey, how’d the interview go?” MJ, your roommate, asked while still looking at her computer. You reached into the freezer for your emergency ice cream pint, snatched a spoon and walked into your room without saying anything. “That bad, I guess,” MJ said to herself.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

You sat with MJ and Ned in the cafeteria, but had not touched any of the food on your plate. Your head was laid on the steel table and you just continuously groaned. “I’m a failure,” you whined.

“No, what you are is fucking dumb,” MJ commented as she ate.

“Thanks, Michelle, that makes me feel so much better,” you looked up to glare at her before laying her head back down. Ned felt bad that his friend was in despair, “How come you didn't ask Peter for help?”

“Huh?” you lifted your head back up some of your hair falling onto your face.

“Yeah, Peter already works at Stark Industries, why didn't you just ask him to get you in? You could even skip the internship altogether and be in full time,” Ned suggested. You gave it some thought, but something about it didn't sound right.

“No, I don't want to bother Peter. I don’t want him to think that I’m only calling him for a job,” you sighed. Ned texted Peter anyways. Unexpectedly, Peter texted him back immediately.

“He says it’s fine,” Ned showed you his phone to read the text. ‘Yeah man, tell her to come in tomorrow and Ms. Potts will interview her’

You let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding and pulled out your phone.

‘Thank you so much for helping me out’

(…)

‘No problem, anything for a friend’

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

The Stark Industries building was huge. It almost looked taller than the Empire State Building, and maybe it actually was. Your legs were shaking as you stared up at it. “Here goes nothing,” you assured yourself.

The lobby was bustling with people; workers walking around, a group of kids that seemed to be here on a field trip, and some teens taking pictures in front of one of Mr. Stark's Iron Man suits.

The trip up to the 17th floor was crowded with people as more and more entered in every passing floor. You had to squeeze yourself out and accidentally stepped on someone’s foot in the process.

Looking around, your jaw dropped. It was an open laboratory with groups of people putting together small robots, flying drones, and people laughing and talking. It was such a fun and cool looking environment, you wondered why you didn't just apply here in the first place.

Pepper Potts spotted you walking around and approached you with a tap on your shoulder. “Hi, I’m Pepper. You must be Y/N,” she reached her hand out to shake yours which you accepted. “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Peter’s told me a lot about you. Come, follow me,” Pepper’s office had glass walls and a view of New York from behind her desk. You weren't particularly fond of heights, but even you would love to have an office view like that. Pepper gestured to the chair in front of her as she smoothed her dress to sit in hers. “So, I see here that you had an interview at Hammer’s. Can I ask why you chose them?” You didn't even know how they got that information. You hadn't seen or spoken to Peter in quite a while, so how Pepper knew that was beyond you. You sat there with your lips moving to say something but nothing was coming out.

Pepper seemed to have caught on what you were thinking and elaborated, “Before I do any interviewing, I do full background checks on everyone.” She had a gentle smile which made you feel better. You thought she would scold you or something considering the question did more than catch you off guard.

“My mother used to work there for a long time and I figured that I would follow,” you explained. Pepper nodded her head and wrote some notes down. She looked onto her computer and looked at everything there was about you. “Well, I see here that you have exceptional grades. 4.7 GPA since you started school and your paper on nano-technology has gotten much praise. I think even Tony read it.” No way. The Tony Stark read my paper? “So tell me, do you see yourself working here at Stark Industries?”

You looked outside and watched everyone in the open lab again. “Yes.”

“Then that’s all I need to hear. We’d love to have you here,” she reached over to shake your hand. You looked at her surprised and hesitantly shook hers. “Welcome to the team, Y/N.”

“Thank you so much!” You cupped her hand with both of yours and shook it a little too quickly, but she didn't seem to mind. You were ecstatic to start your path to your career, and at a dream place at that.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

Your alarm rang at the time you set it to, but there was no need for it. You couldn't sleep all night. Today is your first day of your internship and you were feeling so many things at once. Excited, nervous, happy, scared…

You tried to restrain yourself to a light breakfast, but MJ’s pancakes were to die for that you ate two whole stacks. You looked through your closet just about fifteen times; you had already picked an outfit the following night with the help of MJ, but when you put it back on, you hated it. It sucked for your roommate seeing as she had to sit through you changing from eight other outfits.

You tried to picture the lab again to see how other people dressed for a better idea to base it on your outfit choice. From what you remember, it was pretty casual, so that’s what you stuck to.

You were given your pass the day you were hired, so you had no issue walking inside. The elevator was just as packed as it was last time, but you were more composed so there were no toes being stepped on this time. You weren't exactly sure as to where you had to go, so you looked around to see if there were other interns to ask where to start.

“Y/N!” Peter’s voice surprised you from behind. Your shoulders jumped a bit, but relaxed at the view of his face. His face… you actually hadn't seen him for quite a while. Months, maybe. His jawline was more defined, and his once floppy hair was styled neatly. You tried to not look him up and down, but the temptation was definitely there. And the other thing, his voice was deeper than you last remembered. Is this really Peter Parker? “Hey, Peter.”

He gave you a hug that nearly made you lose breath. He was stronger than you remembered. A memory flashed back to when you were in junior high; you, Ned and Peter were hanging around the local park and you beat Peter on rounds on the monkey bars. He gave up after a couple bars, but you went back and forth a couple times. ‘Show off.’ But now, he had muscles that the shirt he was wearing hugged his biceps.

The hug was quick, and you had to pretend that he didn't just squeeze some life out of you. “Do you work on this floor?”

“Yeah, you’re actually assigned to work with my team. Come, I’ll show you around.” He started walking and you noticed how his posture changed. Damn, I know it hasn't been this long since I've seen him. Why does he look so different? He was wearing trousers. Trousers? Peter hates trousers. But his ass is looking great–

“Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s going to be working with us as an intern. And I'll say this beforehand, no she's not going to be taking coffee or lunch orders,” Peter introduced you. There were various aged people in this group. Some were your age, and one person looked to have been in his thirties. Peter is in charge of this group? They all said ‘hi’ to you and went around introducing themselves.

Once that was finished, Peter pulled a chair for you on the table. “You’ll take notes for me while I give this presentation,” he whispered to you before walking in front of the table and started writing on the clear glass board.

He was talking quickly and didn't stumble over his words like he used to. Everyone was listening to him attentively and you jotted notes down as quickly as you could. Every now and then, you would steal glimpses of him and feel a sort of… well you felt something. Amazement? Inspiration? Adoration?

No doubt was Peter one of the smartest people you've ever met and here he was leading his own team and making potential products for Stark Industries at such a young age. Seeing him at work was so… it was indescribable to you but all you could think of was how different he is now. In a good way, of course.

Peter Parker has been your friend for years and to see him change from a bumbling, shy, adorable nerd into a confident, intelligent working man attracted you.

When you got home, you thought a lot about your first day. Being an intern at Stark Industries was really fun, so far. You weren't expected to do silly things like get coffee or lunch for everyone or pick up someone’s dry cleaning. You actually learned something and even had your opinions heard on some of the things that Peter suggested for his team’s upcoming product presentation.

If this is what it's like to be an intern, you couldn't imagine what it would be like working full time.

“How'd it go?” MJ stuck her head in your room. “It was fun. I'm working with Peter,” you explained your day to her.

“Cool,” was the last thing she said before she went to her own room for the night.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

In the past few months, your internship at Stark’s has been going swimmingly. Everyone's been so nice, and the work is so fascinating. You've gotten closer with Peter and along the way, he felt like he was more than a friend and boss to you.

Currently, everyone was getting ready for their final presentations for the upcoming annual Stark Industries Convention. It was going to be Peter’s first year presenting his own project with his team and you were so excited to be a part of it.

The time you’ve spent with Peter was really fun. He was a good mentor and a great friend. The only thing was that you couldn't help but look at him a little too long, and you’ve found yourself thinking about him during your classes or doing your homework. The shy boy from Midtown High was no more, replaced– no, grown into the Peter you know now. But you pushed all feelings aside to focus on your next thesis paper and mock-up of the handout brochures of Peter’s project.

Sometimes, you didn't even feel like an intern as Peter would ask for any ideas you had to make the project better and even let you help with assembly. He stayed true to his words and you’ve never once had to run for coffee or things like that. There’d be times when you would study some of the little parts under a magnifying glass and he’d come up slightly behind you and explain about some of the bits on the working table.

And every time he did that, your breath would be stuck in your throat and you’d have to remind yourself that this was just Peter helping you out and you’re just learning. But it was normal to want more every now and then… right?

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

The convention was just a few days away and you had trouble finding something to wear. These events were usually black tie events, but did that mean the presenting teams as well? Wouldn't that be uncomfortable?

One of the guys on your team, Richie, sat with you during lunch and talked about how he was probably going to wear the same suit as always. Not because he couldn't afford a new suit, but he was just a simple person and he only wears it once a year for the conventions and that’s all, so it’s still in mint condition.

The girls on your team and some from others were going dress shopping the day before and invited you to join. You were excited mainly because now you don't have to bother MJ for it.

Speaking of MJ, you were going to ask her to come with you. Pepper sent out the electronic invitations to everyone in the company and authorized plus ones to even interns. She’s never been to one – for reasons you were still confused about – but you wanted your best friend to be there for you. And if not MJ, then you bet Ned would still come with you. Wait, what if he’s going with Peter?

On cue, Peter had sat in the chair next to yours in the small break room, “Hey, Y/N.”

“Oh, hey Pete. You excited for Saturday?” Peter quietly stirred his coffee and gave you a small smile, “Uh, yeah. I’m nervous, but I’ve worked really hard on this. And everyone, too. Including you.”

You slightly blushed. I didn't do all that much you thought. You two just sat there taking small sips from the hot, bitter beverage.

“So… I wanted to ask you something,” Peter started.

“Mhm?” The coffee nearly slipped past your lips. You quickly grabbed a napkin to lightly dab some of it off of your lips.

“Well, as you know, we can bring anyone with us to the convention,” he trailed off.

“Yes?” Is he going to…

“And I wanted to know if you were bringing MJ with you.” Oh. You nodded your head and thought you hid your disappointment well but without knowing, Peter actually caught it for a split second. “Good. You can come with me,” he smiled and stood up.

You were in awe; without effort, Peter just asked you to be his date for Saturday.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

“Dude, how are you not ready yet? He’s gonna be here any minute,” MJ sat at her computer per usual working. Your music was too loud for her taste playing from your shared bathroom. Peter said he would pick you up at 7, and it was currently 6:50.

You had put on and removed your make-up at least five times. Something was always wrong; one of the wings would either be thicker than the other, the blush would be the wrong shade, or the lipliner kept going out of place. But, alas, you finally nailed it.

Your hair was styled half up with elegant curls and braids. In between some braids were little bits of baby’s breath flowers. Most likely, you were going to have a hard time taking those out but they looked cute and it was too late to take them out.

Your dress was right above your knee and flowed comfortably so you wouldn't have a hard time walking. It was a neutral taupe color and had a V-line that ended just above cleavage and hugged the curve of your waist. You paired it with simple black heels and a small, white handbag.

“He’s here,” MJ informed you.

“Okay,” you took a deep breath, “what do you think?” You spun around and held your arms out. “You look really pretty. Now go get ‘em. I’ll watch it on the live stream.” She gave you a lazy thumbs up and resumed her work.

Outside was Peter in an all-black apparel. His dress shirt had only one button undone, and he had a loose blazer that accentuated the dip of his shoulders. He stood against the limo with his hands at his sides. God, he’s gonna be the death of me.

When he caught sight of you, he had a flirtatious smirk on his lips and held out for your hand. “Peter, where’d this limo come from?”

“Mr. Stark set it up for me,” he stated like it was no big deal. Must be nice being his favorite. He held the door for you to climb in and closed the door behind him. “We’re ready, Happy,” he told the driver. Happy rolled his eyes, closed the window and drove off.

The convention was off to a great start; Tony Stark came in with his suit as he always loved to do and started introductions before everyone else scattered around to look at the projects of the many departments in his company. Some groups of certain departments had large stages, some had small stands, like Peter’s.

There were still large crowds coming to see the smaller presentations, and everyone seemed to be fascinated with Peter's. You stood on the side as his team operated the machine and Peter spoke. He looked confident and it was mesmerizing to watch him.

After the night was over, all employee’s and some guests were brought back to headquarters for the after party. You walked around with Peter and had flutters in your heart every time he held the small of your back. The most exciting part of the night was meeting Tony Stark in person. He greeted Peter warmly, and then his eyes landed on you, “Peter, who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Y/N. She’s a friend of mine,” he gestured for you. You shook Tony’s hand and stood starstruck. “The one you don’t shut up about?” Pepper hit his shoulder and laughed nervously.

“Wait, I’ve heard about you. Buddy of mine works at Empire State and he showed me your paper, it was really good.” You were still shocked that he had even read it and here he was talking to you about it. You went back and forth talking about nano-technology.

On the way home, you and Peter talked and laughed about things you told him as you caught him up to what was happening on campus when he couldn't be there. It was a really fun night, and Peter was more noticeably relaxed now that the hard part was over. “Alright, home sweet home,” Happy announced through the window.

“Well, that’s me,” you smiled sadly, not wanting the night to end. You reached to open the door but Peter climbed out from his side. He walked around to open your door and just like he did earlier, held his hand out for you to grab and assist you out the limo. What was different this time was that he kept his hand in yours as he walked you to the door of the apartments. “I had a great time with you tonight,” Peter confessed.

“Me too,” your voice was soft and low for only him to hear. Peter’s eyes switched from looking into yours to your lips before he grabbed your face with both hands and kissed you. The kiss was needy, passionate, but had a certain gentleness to it. Once he felt you kiss him back with the same fervor, he deepened the kiss and brought one hand to pull your waist closer to him.

You pulled apart to regain your breath and looked to admire his swollen lips and he copied the same notion. He leaned in to give you a gentle kiss and pulled away, “Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Peter.” Your cheeks were flushed and your face was warm. You watched him as he left and ran inside. Upstairs in your apartment, you found MJ and Ned sitting on the couch with a bag of chips in each of their hands.

“Good night?” Ned asked. You just nodded and walked slowly to your room.

“We saw the whole thing, by the way,” MJ said nonchalantly. You looked back to glare at your best friends, Ned smiling innocently at you and MJ keeping her straight face.

You changed into your pajamas and laid on your bed on your back, looking up at the ceiling. You couldn't wait to go back to work on Monday.

—

requests open!

[lesbian-deadpool]

Happy Little Accidents

Part Two: Hope

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 2,317

Warnings: I don’t think there is any?? Crying/light angst, adoption process, stress??

Request: Yes

Summary: You work on getting you little girl back. And hope that it’s successful.

A/N: It’s been a long time coming, I haven’t proof read it or anything (but when do I ever? Lol), so bare that in mind.

Ko-Fi

(Not My GIF)

***

Being a pair of Avengers and going through the adoption process was so very complicated.

On one hand, you were well known across the globe. Household names.

But on the other. You were dangerous people, with violent past's -and futures to come- with more enemies than you could count. Some of which you didn't even know existed. And who in their right minds would ever let a child into that environment? People have been turned down for much less.

However.

You were basically celebrity's. And as everyone knows, that comes with a lot of special treatment. Even if you and Natasha -And most of, if not all of your team- denied to use any of it. But in this case? For little Hope? You would do whatever you had to.

So, it was thanks to that, that you were even allowed to be considered for adoption.

And there was so much work that had to be done.

Papers to sign, meetings to attend, visits and screenings every which way. And so much more.

It was a long and tedious journey. And you still had a long way to go.

Right now, you had to watch as someone picked apart your home -once again- to make sure it was okay for your little girl to come home. Where she belongs.

You had moved not too long ago, maybe a little over two months, and in that time, it had been looked at three times. Which really made it seem like you weren't doing anything, in their eyes, considering you were busy working and renovating the whole place out at the same time.

The day after you and Natasha had to say goodbye to Hope, you knew that you had to get a bigger place than the apartment you had both shared. And began looking for new homes the very same day.

Tony's help wasn't needed, you had plenty of money, but he insisted. So when you two found a townhouse that you absolutely adored, not too far from SHIELD HQ -where you both now worked most of the time. As when Fury found out that you were both to be adopting Hope- or trying to at least, the man lowered your hours and took you off missions altogether. Just until you were all settled-, the billionaire bought it for you, the moment he got wind of it.

You were moved in three days later. Deciding to work on the house while you lived there.

"So, where would the child be sleeping?" Your caseworker asked.

"Oh, right this way," you said, leading her down the hall to the newly decorated bedroom. Natasha following behind.

You gestured to the light pink, yet slightly sparse room. "This is it."

"We still have to pick up some of the furniture. But we've been waiting for the room to be decorated first," Natasha said, excusing the bare room.

"Yeah, Hope's not going to sleep on a stack of paint cans," you tried to joke. To which you barely got a smile from your caseworker, Stephany Halla.

"It look's decorated to me?"

"Oh." Natasha smiled. "We're having a friend of ours paint a mural or two on the walls."

"Yeah, Hope has a few favourite Avengers, so he's gonna paint them. And he's been learning how to draw cartoon characters for it, too."

"He's actually trying to adopt the two kids he took in with his fiance."

"Steve Rogers?" Stephany asked.

"That's the guy," you said, nodding along with Natasha.

"I've seen him around the office," She spoke again a few moments later. "So, when are you planning on getting the furniture for the room?"

"Hopefully, within a month," Natasha replied, "But with our and Steve's schedules, things are up in the air."

It was a difficult start to the adoption process, more so than it was now. Considering that the children legally didn't exist to the world. So, everything was so confusing and thrown up into the air while waiting for the kids to be registered.

Almost like you didn't know whether you were coming or going. Everything stuck in limbo as you waited to see what kind of adoption process you would have to take. And even with all of your connections in the world, you were still left in the dark.

There was the fact that the kids were found overseas in Romania, so they could be considered Romanian. And so, you would have to go through international adoption.

However, none of the children have birth parents and were brought to America because you had rescued them. So, some would say they could be considered immigrants.

Nothing like this had ever happened before.

Babies that had been grown in a lab and saved from a further torturous life, that now needed legalization in the world's eyes.

You and Natasha had to watch as Government's essentially fought over these children you saved. Over the same child, you clothed and fed. The one you played games with and bonded with the little girl you grew to love and consider your own.

So, as the world fought for the right of your child, your little Hope, you waited. Just wishing and wanting to bring your daughter home.

But, luckily for you, the children were now classed as American citizens. Which made it ten times easier for you to adopt than it would otherwise.

Which is honestly just crazy to you, considering just how intensely hard this is.

There were times you didn't believe you could ever adopt your child.

On more than one occasion, Natasha would come to you, saddened to her core, because she truly believed that you would never have Hope in your family.

It was so fucking hard.

Natasha had rolled over one night after you two had -once again- gone through the rules and regulations of adopting. Uttering how you were, "Never going to get her back" that there was "Juts no way, they will let us adopt", as she cried into your arms.

But still, the process continued.

"Well, your home seems to be in good standing. So for. But I advise you to get the furniture for the child's room as soon as possible," Stephane commented as she began packing up her belongings and paperwork.

"Oh, we know."

"Steve did say that he was going to start work on it in the next few days," Natasha added, nodding along with you.

"Well, that's is good news." Stephane smiled. "I'll see you at our next meeting with Hope."

Natasha sighed happily. "We can't wait."

"Well, goodbye then."

You whished the dirty-blonde woman farewell, closing the door behind her.

"We get to see our daughter in a couple of weeks," your red-headed girlfriend said excitedly, dancing from side to side out of pure happiness. Her bright smile filling your soul with warmth, that travelled all the way into your bones.

You matched her emotions, hands coming to curve around her shoulder blades and pulling her close to you.

"I know, Honey. It's been so long since we've seen her. And we're gonna bring her home one day."

That was all you could say before your mouth was covered, with the crushing feeling of Natasha's plump lips against yours.

***

Nerves rattled through you, but you hadn't the faintest idea why, considering this wasn't the first time you had seen Hope. However, it had been one of the first times you were able to see her since the day she was taken away from you.

If you thought you were bad.

Natasha was far worse.

She was practically shaking. From nerves or excitement, you didn't know. But you had a good inkling to think that it was both.

You had done so much for this child in the short span of time you had known her.

And yet, you couldn't imagine your life any other way. The thought of how your life had been that time last year.

No Hope. Surrounded by missions and work. Every free moment you had was spent with Natasha, and the rag-tag group of hero's you had grown to call your family.

It all seemed so foreign now.

Like a past life.

'Wow', you thought, 'Maybe I really am growing up'.

A part of you was afraid that the girl you thought of as your daughter wouldn't recognise you or your []. And would be scared of the two strangers that had just barged their way into her life. Breaking both of your heart's.

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Was the thing that greeted you, as soon as the door had swung open. Making you realise just how stupid your train of thought really was.

Natasha rushed forward, scooping the girl up into her arms, with a bright smile upon both of their faces.

"So, I still don't get a name, huh?" you joked, walking over to the reuniting girls.

Brushing a hand over Hope's short hair. Grinning when she reached her arms towards you, ready to give you a hug of your own, which you gratefully accepted.

"Don't worry," Natasha said, rubbing Hope's back as she hugged you, "You'll get a name soon."

"I better. Or else I'm gonna have ta tickle it out of her."

Hope's squeals reached your ears as you threateningly poked her side with your fingers.

"Here, baby. I'll save you," Natasha called, pulling the giggling girl from your arms. Both of them watching as you pulled your hand's in front of your face, wiggling the fingers almost spookily as them. The girls turned to each other, "They're silly."

Then they walked away.

With you calling after them.

"Hey! I may be silly, but-... I have no rebuttal!"

Natasha laughed at this, then greeted the care worker that was patiently waiting for you both. The one that you had only just noticed.

"Hello, Stephany," Natasha said in greeting, shaking the woman's hand. You following suit.

"Hey. How have you two been?"

"Missing this little one," Natasha replied, bouncing the girl on her waist. Receiving fun-filled giggles in return.

"I bet you have. And you, Y/N?"

"Exhausted," you told her honestly, "With moving house and everything, I just want to have Hope home, then sleep for a week."

The care worker laughed at that.

"Let's hope that that's sooner rather than later, then."

Your few hour's with Hope passed faster than you ever could have imagined. You played with blocks, ate lunch, "helped" Hope colour in her haphazardly filled colouring book. You absolutely adored the way her eyes lit up, and she started dancing and flailing her arms when she saw bubbles for the first time. You almost couldn't continue blowing them because of your bright smile.

And now you were watching as Natasha spoke gently to the little girl. Hope's hand's resting on the red-heads cheeks, watching her mother with such concentrating eyes.

You adored your little family.

You just wished you could have them all home.

'One day', you thought, 'one day'.

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things you've ever had to do.

Just like the last time.

And the time before that.

And the time before that.

And the one before that.

It just got harder and harder each and every time you did this.

Hope was crying. And so was Natasha, albeit silently, as she tried to console the toddler.

"I know, my little love, I know-"

"Mommy!" Hope cried.

"I know, angel. We'll be back before you know it, I promise."

"Mommy!"

"I know."

Once in the car, you let your tears fall, Natasha sobbing in the seat beside you.

"I don't think I can keep on doing this anymore," you admitted. Deciding it was best you explained when Natasha turned to look at you, an incredulous look upon her face, "Keep on seeing her, and not being able to bring her home."

"We'll get there," your [] reached over the centre console to squeeze your hand, "We will. You're the one who's always saying that we've got to take after her namesake and have hope."

"But it almost seems endless, Nat."

"I know, honey." She wetly kissed your tear-stained cheek. Her lips, brushing against it as she continued, "We'll bring her home. I just know it."

"I hope you're right."

***

She was right.

Of course, she was right.

She was Natasha Romanoff, after all.

It was like she just had this inability to be wrong.

But in this case? You were so fucking happy about that.

Granted it had taken a while longer -a good eight months- but finally, you were here.

Exiting the courthouse with Hope in your arms, and Natasha by your side. Bright smiles upon all of your faces, about to take the little girl- Your daughter home.

You would never have to say goodbye to her, like that, ever again.

She was legally a part of your family now. And nothing would ever change that.

"Ready to go home, sweetpea?" Natasha asked the beaming girl.

"I don't know about you," you started, "But I think this deserves celebratory ice cream."

"I think you just want ice cream before dinner."

You gave an overdramatic gasp.

"Why I would never! How dare you accuse me of such a thing?"

Natasha laughed at your antics but nonetheless nodded her head.

"I agree. This does deserve celebratory ice cream."

"Yes!" you exclaimed happily to Hope, your free arm raising above your head in victory, making the girl copy you by raising both of her arms.

She was already taking after you.

Your red-headed girlfriend sighed dreamily after you, as you chanted, "Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!" On your way to the car.

She couldn't remember a time where she was this happy.

It had been a long time since then.

And Natasha just couldn't wait to see what the rest of her life would bring with the two of you now by her side.

***

Permanent Tag List: 

@imnotasuperhero, @veteranwerewolf95, @natasha-danvers, @marvelfansince08love, @higherfurther-romanova, @lesbian-x-blackwidow, @sestra-inestro, @thelastavenger-3000, @mixed-fandom-mess,

SFW Tag list: 

@peggycarter-steverogers, @natalia-quinzel,

[wangshuus]

no love left | diluc ragnvindr

pairing: diluc ragnvindr/gn. reader

genre: angst

wc: 3.2k

cw: mild cussing, brief mentions of violence, probably lore breaking too lol. 

summary: falling out of love is painful but maybe it’s what you needed.

note: please read the authors note after the story ESPECIALLY if you’re confused because i’ve implemented a few odd aspects into this story. i was just typing out whatever so essentially it’s more word vomit (again lol) but uhh yeah. most of the important stuff is at the bottom so like i said before, read that authors note at the end!!

lightly proofread, please don’t mind any errors

fic below the cut.

When the esteemed bachelor Diluc Ragnvindr finally settled down with a lover, the news did not fail to spread across Mondstadt like a wildfire. It was the talk of town for who knows how long but as time passed, the people settled down and the buzz eventually died but no one ever failed to acknowledge the young Ragnvindr and his beloved when they were together. Although the two preferred to keep a composed look to the public eye, the admiration they held for each other burned as bright as a summers day in their eyes at all times when they were together; from that alone, anyone could tell they were in love

So where did it all go wrong?

You sat across from Diluc at a table in the winery, the air thick with a suffocating tension that felt like it was going to swallow you whole at any minute now. Your hands rested on the table in front of you as you barely managed to keep your hands from trembling as a storm of emotions stirred inside of you as you felt your composure on the brink of cracking any second. You decided to finally break the silence as you spoke up, a slight tremble in your voice.

“What is it Diluc? Huh? I was hoping you’d have the decency to speak up about whatever the hell is going on instead of leaving me in the dark but it’s been far too long now. Now tell me Diluc, what’s going on?”

Oh the way your words slipped from your mouth made the room feel so cold, even if you didn’t wield a vision of any sorts. Diluc took a deep breath before he decided to speak up.

“What went on between the two of us was purely business.” Was the simple statement he gave.

Was?

“They’ve shown themselves to be quite the individual, wielding good etiquette with both business and a weapon.” He spoke out once more.

“God sake Diluc you’re fucking stalling at this point. You know what, I’ll make it easier for you. Do you still love me?”

There was a pause. A long painful pause. You already had your answer.

“(Y/n), I still care for you more than you can ever imagine, I truly do.”

The words felt like knives piercing through your form and from that, you felt the first tear slip down your face.

“Diluc, are you even aware of how terrible I feel in this situation right now? I’m watching my lover from a far doing lord knows what and you expect me to just tolerate it? I trusted you enough which is why I never pried at it but fuck Diluc, it’s just unbearable at this point.”

“I never did act upon anything in fears of making the situation worse--” You cut him off.

“Making the situation worse huh? So you were out here trying to do some crowd control weren't you? Was if for the sake of not hurting me or or for the sake of not tainting your pristine reputation?”

“I said before, I really do care for you still.” His hand reached towards your own as he held your hand with utmost gentleness. You were almost convinced he still loved you as much as he did in the past.

“However, I can’t deny that our dynamic has indeed changed. I…” His grip on your hand tightened.

“I can’t lie to you and say that I love you the way I did before.”

There it was.

“You don’t look at me the way you used to, you know? Your eyes used to be so full of love whenever you looked at me but that look is reserved for someone else now, isn’t it? You’ve looked at me with nothing but sorrow and pity nowadays and I guess my assumptions of the worst were correct.” You said as your voice trembled even more.

You wanted to pull your hand away so badly, the hand that once brought you such warmth now felt as if it was searing your skin. But you couldn’t. Not when this was mostly likely the last time you’d ever feel such an intimate touch from him. You found yourself to be conflicted as to whether you wanted to pull away out of pure frustration or savour the moment as it could be the last of him you would ever get to have for yourself.

“(Y/n), from the bottom of my heart, I’m truly sorry. I’ve loved you for so long and you’ve given me more love than I could’ve ever imagined. I never wanted things to change but I suppose fate had other plans. I’ll never stop caring for you however, I’m afraid I’ve stopped loving you in the way you’re used to.”

The truthful words were ones that felt like hell to swallow. You didn’t want to believe it but you knew damn well he was telling the truth. The sincerity and softness in his voice made it so hard to be completely mad at him. He was so gentle with his words but the truth of them did nothing but make your heart hurt and ache. An empty chuckle left your lips as your features were now graced with a bittersweet smile.

“Ah, I think I would’ve appreciated it if you were meaner with your responses. Maybe then I wouldn’t have such a hard time letting you go.” You finally managed to look him in the eyes, his reflection showing on your glossy orbs.

He felt his own heart churn with remorse and guilt, seeing as he terribly hurt the one person that he had sworn to love and protect for the rest of his days. He felt sick over the fact he failed to keep part of the promise-- the part where he said that he would continue to love you.

That was one of the last times you had ever seen Diluc Ragnvindr.

--

Your body shook as the freezing temperatures of Dragonspine overtook your senses. You sat up against a rock, your back leaning onto it as you struggled to keep yourself upright. You were barely holding on by a thread as you physically felt numb. However, your mind swirled with a storm of emotions, almost as strong as the last day you had seen your ex-lover but this time, you reminisced on your time as you felt like this would be your final moments.

You pondered over the fact that this might’ve been the reason that he no longer loved you in the way you wished to be loved by him. You wanted his affections, you wanted his love, you wanted him. But you were too weak. That was it. He let you go for someone that was strong, so very strong; both mentally and physically. God, you couldn’t even compare to the likes of them, being nothing but a measly old adventurer, one that wasn’t even fortunate enough to wield a vision. You were nothing but weak in your own eyes; that's what brought you to your demise.

In your hands, you clutched one of the last treasures you had found in the cursed mountains. It was a pretty little collar that held a jewel that twinkled so beautifully despite the dull, hazy environment.

“You do not wish to be weak anymore do you, little one? Do not be afraid, put me on and I’ll grant you the desires you so wish to obtain. Abide by my rules and obtain for me the essence of life and together, we can make sure that everyone will hail before you.”

A voice echoed inside your head as your mind began to spiral. All morals, memories and feelings began to drown out until you were barely hanging on by thread.

“Hurry, time is of the essence! Quick!”

With little energy you had left, you were able to hang the new found possession around your neck. The second you let go of the clips that held the piece together, you felt a tight constriction around your neck, the feeling was suffocating. Just like the last time you had seen Diluc. For a moment, you thought of the red haired male you once held to dear and close to your heart. It ached for him once more in that very moment because he was the very essence of warmth and it was something that you so desired in such a moment like this. The way he held you against him in the coldest of nights in an attempt to keep you warm and oh how it worked wonderfully. It was a memory that slowly faded away with your conscience. Your hands graced themselves lightly around your neck as you struggled to breathe even more than before, your body finally running out of any sort of energy as you fell limp against the cold and soft snow.

Anything. From this point on, you would do anything to get stronger. You no longer cared for any mishaps that happened along the way. You had no love left, nothing but the hunger for power that drowned out the aching void that was now left behind after everything was torn away from you.

“Sorry... to also have you shoulder the grievances of the world. Since you could endure my bitter cold, you must have the desire to burn? Then, burn away the old world for me.”

Within the bustling harsh winds of the Dragonspine mountains laid a girl with a jewelled necklace as well as a cold, icy blue orb that shined brightly against the blizzards.

--

“The expedition out in Dragonspine was a complete disaster! The winds were harsher than usual and how could we predict such a nasty storm would’ve been upon us? We planned so far ahead and yet it ended up utterly terrible.” One of the adventurers commented as they were in the process of recovering after descending from the unforgiving mountains.

“Did everyone that went on the expedition come back? There’s absolutely no way we can risk going up there again, at least not for a while.” Another commented.

There was an excruciating silence within the camp.

“Has anyone seen (Y/n)?”

--

Diluc had set out once the late hours of the night and the early hours of the morning came upon him. He continued to lurk from the shadows and deal with whatever trivial matters that had to be dealt with in the dead of night as he always did. He had heard of a few nuisances that arose near the outskirts of Dragonspine that hadn’t been dealt with yet. Of course the knights wouldn’t bother with this anyways, as per usual what he thought to himself.

Though the male held a pyro vision, the sharp and bitter cold of Dragonspine was something that never failed to make him uncomfortable.

He swiftly made his way to the location, being stealthy and fast with his movements in an attempt to get the job done faster to refrain from being caught. Once he had made his way to the destination, he remained hidden while he examined the area. In the far distance, he saw camps, hilichurl as well as Fatui camps that were not too far off. His face held a look of distaste as his eyes laid upon the familiar trademark symbol of the Snezhnayan organization.

Just as he was about to step out and deal with the hilichurl camp himself, a figure emerged from afar and into the camp. The movements of said person were agile, fast and swift, ice shards being directed in the direction of every living being on the camp. A blizzard stirred so fiercely upon the camp and as the barbaric bitter winds of the snow died down, there was almost nothing left of the camp that once stood there.

Not a single soul.

Diluc very cautiously moved closer to get a better look at the strange person that appeared before him. His eyes widened in disbelief as he started to make out the figure, his mind refusing to believe what he saw in front him, almost regretting letting his curiosity get the best of him.

“I wasn’t aware that you people are unable to take care of a measly little hilichurl camp. I specifically stated to clear the area before anything else and you couldn’t even follow instructions as simple as that, or perhaps I wasn’t clear enough with my statement?” An icy voice boomed out towards a trio of Fatui skirmishers.

That voice was all too familiar to Diluc. It was so familiar yet it sounded so different, so harsh, so cold. Yet, it was the voice that confirmed his unruly suspicions.

“Make up for your poor performance by getting the camps set up in a decent manner at the very least. I’d rather spare myself the trouble of punishing the likes of you people. You don’t wish to cross me any further, do you?” A cold, hard glare very evident on your fact that was directed to the three in front of you.

They frantically shook their heads, sputtering out a series apologies in an attempt to ease your annoyance.

“Make use of yourselves and set up immediately. By the time I come back to supervise the area, everything should be set up in a manner that is nothing less than perfect. If you wish to please me this time, do as you’re told this time. Now go.” You shook them off with a wave of a hand as they saw themselves away in an instant.

You took your time to avoid the now empty camp that rid itself of almost all remains. A hand placed itself atop the jewel that gracefully sat between your collarbones. The voices that swirled in your head chanting for more power and more life eventually died down as the constrictions of your beloved collar began to loosen, just enough so you could breathe. You let out a breathe that you had been holding before regaining your composure. You stood up straight with a proud stature before speaking out.

“I know you are there, may as well come forth voluntarily unless you want be to bring you out myself.”

Diluc’s blood ran cold when he realized that that you were most likely referring to him, baffled at how you were able to pick up on his own presence. He cautiously revealed himself and made his way a little closer to you. The second you laid eyes on the redhead, you felt like your world stopped for a second. The initial shock was replaced with amusement as the scene unfolded in front of you.

“And to think that last time we saw each other would be the last.” You said before bitterly chuckling.

Diluc took some time to muster up words and recover from his initial shock.

“You never came back from that mission. You were claimed to be dead by the guild the day after and yet here you are. The people mourned over you. I mourned for you. What has become of you, (Y/n)?” Diluc spoke out, pain and sadness laced within his tone.

“Ha, they mourned? As well as yourself? Don’t make me laugh Ragnvindr. Was your mourning perhaps an act in an attempt to keep up your reputation. Would not surprise me in the slightest if that were the case. I refuse to accept the pity of others, and I absolutely detest if it is empty and meaningless. Pity is for those who are weak and as far as I’m concerned--”

You stepped closer to Diluc before you continued.

“I’m not weak anymore.”

“(Y/n), you were never weak--” Diluc said before he was cut off.

“Bullshit Ragnvindr. Utter bullshit.” You harshly spat.

“I wasn’t able to handle myself before. I was nothing but weak. It was one of the reasons you fell out of love with me, was it not? You wanted a strong individual that could take care of themselves and you sure got one, but it wasn’t me at the time. Look now Ragnvindr, I am strong now.”

He took a better look at you as the realization of your position has begun to sink in.

“You... you’re…” In one of the rare times of his life, he was at a loss for words.

“Ah, Ah, Cat got your tongue? Poor boy can’t even muster up any words.” You chuckled mockingly.

“Fatui Harbinger, Ragnvindr. Number 12. Surely you’ve heard right?” You boldly stated.

Yes, he did hear. The Tsaritsa had taken another Harbinger under her wing yet the news and information of said Harbinger was extremely scarce and yet, No.12 stood right before Diluc.

No.12 was once his own beloved.

“What exactly led to all of this? What caused all of this to happen? What have you done to yourself?” The questions kept pouring out from Diluc’s mouth.

“It was quite simple. I got sick and tired of being weak and having things being taken from me. I have lost too many things to count and I have sacrificed many things to become who I am today. I do not regret a single thing I have done since I have started being selfish and being selfish has kept me from getting hurt again. I do not need you anymore, I do not need anyone in fact. I live for myself and to serve the needs of the Tsaritsa to repay her for giving me a chance to live the way I should’ve been all along.” You look at him with a taunting smirk on your face.

The (Y/n) (L/n) that was once known to be the beloved of Diluc Ragnvindr was dead. They died the moment you stepped out of the winery for the very last time. You were (Y/n), No.12 of the Fatui Harbingers. You were the one that sacrificed yourself to a curse upon the Dragonspine mountains in exchange for power to fill the void that was left behind. You no longer had the longing for love; you had none left after all. You craved for power and leverage over others and you refused to let people trample over you like they did before. You refused to be weak again. With the help of your new found vision as well as the curse that now burdened you, you would conquer the world and burn the old one away, along with your old self.

With no love left, there was nothing left to lose after all.

A/N: SOOOO the whole choker thing might be a little confusing but BASICALLY i took the whole concept from the “Love me, Love me, Love me.” song where the girl gets that cursed necklace/choker and i changed the concept around a little bit so that in exchange for power, dear reader has to basically slaughter things to keep the choker from killing them LOL (I’m tired pls my mind if SPIRIALING rn lmfao)

the italics in the second chunk are the weird choker speaking to the reader since it's a whole ‘curse’ thing and the bold italics in the second chunk is basically a quote from genshin from the cryo gemstone thingies and i used it to signify the reader getting a cryo vision^^ there’s a lot i wanna say but i’m too lazy to elaborate sorry lol. kinda feel like making more parts to this bc i feel like the story could go one but ehhh we’ll see how I’m feeling. i really just wanted to make a oneshot where the reader goes batshit after so ahahahahhaha. (also this fic feels lore breaking as fuck but its ok LMAO)