#yeah you didn't ask for this whole hope-pilled essay but i don't care that's what yer gettin lmao

[orcboxer]

listen 20 years ago i was happy and now i'm not so as far as i'm concerned yeah the world is getting worse

I grew up in a hyperreligious, hyperconservative family and church that was constantly convinced that we were living in The End Times and the future always looked bleak and every new problem was The Worst Things Have Ever Been and we were all miserable all the time. And when you believe without question that Things Are Always Getting Worse, that implies Things Were Better In The Past. And that's like, a cornerstone of right wing ideology. On the big picture, if you can't conceive of a better future, you won't bother trying to make one, and that makes you easier to control.

Now I can't speak to your personal life, of course, and I'll admit my life is better now than it was 20 years ago (I left the church, came out as gay, started treatment for my mental health, all that jazz). But I can tell you that the quality of life of the average human has improved, and things are, overall, largely improving on many different levels globally.

Over the past century, globally speaking, the average lifespan has increased, infant mortality has decreased, poverty has greatly decreased, education has become way more accessible, voter inequality has decreased, water quality has increased, food availability has greatly increased, access to healthcare has increased -- I could go on. You'd actually be really surprised how much better things have gotten. Every person I've "quizzed" on it has greatly underestimated the quantity of statistical improvement. It's like we're all conditioned to assume the worst.

It's easy to fixate on all the problems, and it doesn't help when that's all anyone ever talks about. But that's why it's so important to keep things in perspective. If a headline is like "525 billion tons of pollution is in the ocean" you just see a big number and assume it's bad, but you have no frame of reference for it so you're really just going on vibes. You gotta ask like. How much pollution was there last year? What is being counted as pollution? How did they arrive at this number? What initiatives are being taken to remove pollution? So on and so forth.

We are constantly flooded with hyperbolic doomerism and while there absolutely are very real problems that need urgent action (like climate change), it is also completely unhelpful to anyone for us to burn ourselves out trying to be The Correct Amount Of Upset about all the problems in the world all the time. You can't fix everything, you have limits, but there are things you can help with. Do those things and let yourself feel good about it. And let yourself actually appreciate the work that other people have done to make the world a better place. So many people whose names will never grace history books have paved the way for you to do your thing, and it's a damn shame all that work goes underappreciated by most folks.

Learn to question negative statements. If someone says "The world is getting worse" you should be asking, "By what metric?" And then you should be asking, "How can we improve those numbers?" I swear to god it makes a huge difference for your mental health.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

this is the depressing ask. beware. 😂 

first I want to thank the writers for so helpful reminding us of 305 with the line about naked suspects. clearly, morgane wasn’t there to witness adam’s frightful interrogation because she’d have eviscerated him then and there (that’s what I like to think, at least). 

bref. the ending. are we really doing this? I feel like this conversation’s been had a thousand times before yet the show doesn’t seem to have heard any of it. or doesn’t care. (I’ll let you list off the reasons why it’s an awful twist, if you feel up to it, because I’m frankly too tired for that) 

I hate the way they showed a sonogram as if to hammer home she’s carrying a child, not a fetus, when it's the other way round. I hate the mamma mia montage, as if figuring out whose genes are involved is the priority. I hate the 306 retcon, get this shit away from me, both their drinks were spiked. I hate that we���re supposed to believe none of these grown adults (the ones who weren’t drugged, at least) considered protection. especially morgane--she’s had DREAMS about this, ffs, there’s no way that wouldn’t cross her mind. I hate the ramifications of every single way this could go down (too long to expound but you get me). I hate that there’s even a shred of doubt about how this will go down. I hate that they served us some watered-down so-called feminist juice for a whole season and still decided to use morgane’s body as an open ground for drama. 

given the way they’ve addressed the question in the ep, I’m very pessimistic about s4. Idk about you but my only solace is knowing it’s out of our hands, anyway, so I don’t have to waste my energy trying to change anybody’s mind. 

thanks for sticking along on this ride. wouldn't have had it any other way. and good luck for the year ahead of us, everybody. the only way out is through! 🤞

Nodding along at everything you said because yeah, and also while I liked Adam's line about naked suspects, your point about Morgane finding out about it just gave me a fantastic idea to add to my WIP, so thank you for that!

Now for the ending.

I think there are two main points to distinguish here because obviously, my personal distaste for pregnancy and baby storylines makes the idea of Morgane bearing a fourth child everything I don't want to see. BUT, had the circumstances been wildly different, I could have come to terms with it and accepted it, as in "Yeah I don't like this turn of events but I can get over it because it makes sense narratively and serves an interesting purpose". What actually makes this finale awful are the circumstances of this pregnancy, and now we're getting to the essay-ish part of this post where I'll try to explain

Why HPI finale is lazy, infuriating, and profoundly anti-feminist

Just like you point out, this mamma mia scenario was already explored in… well… mamma mia, plus countless other stories, zero originality here, I expected better from HPI tbh. And I read just yesterday an interview with the producer saying "Season 4 be like, we're looking for a baby daddy instead of a murderer lolilol", yea guess what, I DON'T CARE. For a while after watching the episode, I dared to hope that the montage in the end was purposefully misleading, that soon Morgane would come to her senses and remember that she did use protection with at least Timothée and David, because I 100% agree with you, it's ridiculous to make us believe that none of these people ever had a thought about contraception. Timothée even said "We're not trying yet", which means he kinda knows how not to try, no? And also I can accept the idea that Morgane isn't on any kind of birth control because it happens (some women react badly to pills and IUDs, etc), but she was with Ludo for half a season so they must have used condoms, she has to know and think about it (and like you said, she's DREAMED of it, and explicitly said that SHE DIDN'T WANT A FOURTH KID - I'll get to that later because it makes me fume). Besides, she's had three kids already, she knows how this all works. So yeah, it's lazy and implausible.

What I find particularly infuriating in this 3-baby-daddies plotline is also the deeply misogynistic trope of seeing a female character unable to enjoy an unapologetic sex life with multiple partners without getting punished by the script with an unwanted pregnancy. This is the literal definition of slut-shaming by the way. I was going to say that I didn't see where you found feminist vibes in the show, but then I remembered how much I loved the way Morgane expresses her feminity, her desire, and her sexuality, and…. yea, this is exactly the point I'm trying to make (also I loved seeing childfree, 40+ characters who were thriving but that's another discussion I guess). Seeing that we're still there in 2023 legitimately makes me sick.

Speaking of misogynistic tropes… I guess the ONE detail that really makes me want to throw spears at the writers is the sixteen weeks' mention. By purposefully making her too far in her pregnancy for abortion, they robbed her of having a choice. I mean, they could have got her two months pregnant, and then for some bad (imo) reasons she'd have decided to keep the baby, it would have made no difference for what's coming next. I wouldn't have loved it, sure, but it would have been fine by me because at least it'd have been her decision. Here she's just subjected to the plot, and like you said, her body is used as a narrative tool, and it feels like a slap in the face. Not to mention that even here they fucked up the timeline, because she fucked Timothée, David, and Adam in the span of like 4 days, right? Literally the day after the LSD adventures she and Adam decide to wait for three months, and the montage insists on how on the schedule they are. And I'd say that 307-308 happen within a week maximum because Redbone's not one to wait three weeks for his money lol. So 3 months is 12, 13 weeks at most, which means that in the end, Morgane is 14 weeks pregnant AT BEST (which makes her still eligible for abortion, mhhhh, see where I'm going with this? 🤔), and not 16. The only valid explanation would be that it's Timothée's baby and that she was already pregnant when she had her other encounters, but since the show seems to go in another direction, then it means that they purposefully fucked up the numbers so that she CANNOT consider abortion, which is the most dehumanizing, disempowering thing you can do to a female character.

They're literally forcing a pregnancy on her, and I want to throw up every time I think about it.

Speaking of which. Morgnane's already had three kids. Also, she told us in season 2 about her first-trimester symptoms. And she's supposed to be smart, hell that's the WHOLE point of the show. So there's no way she wouldn't have noticed that she was pregnant again, unless she denied her pregnancy (which would explain her total absence of symptoms, incredulity at the hospital, and possibly the fact that her brain erased her sexytimes with Adam). Now pregnancy denial is one of my greatest fears in life, so I can hear that this was particularly triggering for me specifically, but still, this is an incredibly traumatic experience to throw at her, and a source of huge emotional distress. SHE STATED SHE DIDN'T WANT A FOURTH KID FOR FUCK'S SAFE AND YOU ARE FORCING HER TO GET ONE WHEN SHE'S AT HER LOWEST, AND YOU'RE EXPECTING US TO FIND THIS FUNNY??????? I mean just go sell potatoes and stop writing shows because this is an insult to the art of writing.

😠🔪😭

Sorry I need a minute to have a good cry and yell at the abyss.

.

Okay, I'll just close the 16-week essay by saying that I entirely blame Audrey Fleurot for this, and this is what I base my theory on:

I mean, cool bro if it worked for you (except it didn't, do you want to talk again about your post-partum? Is that what you're planning for Morgane?) and I get that acting can be a therapy in some way, but this is getting way too close to the target, just get the fuck out of the writing room if that's what you're going to come up with, PLEASE.

I'm not sure where you see a 306 retcon though, for me it's pretty clear they were both under the influence, had sex, and blacked out about it (which as @earanie and @hemerae-ramblings pointed out, is highly unrealistic since memory losses are NOT a side-effect of LSD, but I can hear the argument of denial here). But speaking of 306, the finale completely doomed this episode for me, because in retrospect it feels like a giant set-up. The LSD scene is ONLY here to make it possible for Adam to have unprotected sex (side point here, I'm actually not mad they hooked up, even though it's kind of frustrating to see it happen this way, because I find the "offscreen banging reveal" a hilarious yet underused trope, and also I like the messiness), and while this last point is in a way funny, the worst part is the three months window at the end, which has in fact NOTHING to do with Adam sorting his feelings or whatever but is only here to forbid the possibility of abortion for Morgane, and this makes me want to stab people multiple times.

Also, one last thing that I find absolutely disgusting is the fact that Morgane and Adam (presumably) conceived a baby against their will (there's a whole other discussion to have about consent here but I won't go there for today) while solving a case about a BABY BORN FROM RAPE. I mean, can you make it more icky than that? Do the writers even acknowledge the irony of this? Do they even care? This baby is doomed by the narrative from the fertilization stage, and we're supposed to enjoy it as a comedy?

And now I assume we'll get to watch a forced coming together between Adam and Morgane due to the circumstances, which means that even if they end up together we'll never know if they actually wanted it? What a way to kill a ship, man, I've seen shows pretty efficient at ship-sinking but this has to be in the top three.

(somehow there's a wild irony in the fact that both the showrunners and the main cast have been saying on repeat from season 1 that they didn't want to make that disappointing season that ruins most shows, and yet they managed to spectacularly fuck-up and promise the worst season ever, and they're already paying for it audience-wise...)

See, all of this is the silver lining I'm holding onto for now, in the hope of a miscarriage (which would also be incredibly traumatic for Morgane, and still an objectified-by-the-plot scenario, but at this point our options are limited. Also for now the showrunners are only mentioning the pregnancy but not the baby so maybe there's a tiny chance she actually doesn't have it), because there's no way anyone could rejoice from this. And if she does have this baby, and if it's Adam's, then I'll officially change their shipname from Brosse Adam to Brosse & Rachel, and this will probably be my last contribution to this fandom. Hated this in Friends, will hate it in HPI.

I'm not pessimistic about season 4, anon, I just don't want to consider it at all. Obviously, I'm ready to withdraw everything I said here if they choose the only acceptable outcome (abortion) and actually make an extremely powerful narrative and political statement about it, but I know it's off the table. Having to endure such a plotline in 2023, at a time when women's right to dispose of their own bodies is threatened everywhere in the world, is a very painful punch in the face, and I sincerely hope they'll get a ton of backlash on social media for this. I just saw this morning that the airing of 308 had the lowest audience numbers ever in the show's history, and I can't say that it makes me unhappy.

(I was lowkey hoping for a cancellation at this point, even though I know the chances weren't great, but I found out today that the show was officially renewed so we won't even get the solace of knowing they can't do any further damage... Eh 🤷‍♀️)

Finally, the thing that saddens me the most isn't even what they did to Morgane and to the show, it's what they did to our community as a result. I have been alone in this fandom for almost a year, and it was incredibly frustrating. And then people joined, created content, interacted, had fun, and we had such an amazing time together, writing, giffing, vidding, sharing theories, jokes, and thoughts. I've met some incredible, witty people, some of them I dare to call friends. And now it feels like everything is falling apart. Friends are leaving, or considering to. Group chats have turned into support groups. The writers didn't only ruin the show, they took away the enjoyment we gathered from it, and it sickens me. Personally, I've had a very rough first semester of 2023, and this community is what has kept me afloat. It's made me smile and laugh in times of sadness, it's given me a shiny, quirky escape that I'll never be grateful enough for. And to witness it all collapsing really hurts. I do hope it's just a bump in the road, that we'll come back eventually, sticking together and collectively despising canon, ignoring it by ferociously writing AUs, and roasting the timeline, and making Daphné-centered vids, but I'm not even sure myself where I stand regarding my own involvement in this fandom. Nothing else to say, I just miss what we had, that's all 😢

Now that I'm thinking about it, "J'avais tellement envie que ça marche entre nous" is exactly how I feel about canon right now. You know when I said that getting into a new hyperfixation felt like falling in love? Well, this shitty ending feels like getting ugly dumped.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, anon, and thank you for sticking with me too. It's too early to say if this is officially the end of Julia's adventures with the HPI anon or not, but please know that I've loved every second of the ride and that I will never forget it 🥲

😘🥃👻

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 18/?

Word Count: 2.5k

Author's Note: Y/N - your name, A/N - any name (your best friend's name)

Warnings: Mentions of court, mentions of Jason's injuries, swearing, No beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Jason walked out in a few minutes, just in his boxers. She looked at him before letting out a slight laugh at the absurdity of it.

"Don't laugh, you're the one who tore my clothes."

She sighed, "And you're going to have to go home in torn boxers, Bruce is going to kill you."

"God, don't remind me," he said before sitting beside her.

She laughed, "You could just not go home?"

"I wish. But I have a life. You have a life."

"It's unfortunate, isn't it. Can't spend all day with you but you're all I want to do."

"Funny."

"Thank you, I really tried," she thought, "You remember how I seem to have a fascination with vigilantes?"

"Yes, why?"

"I remembered why. So, when I was in high school, graduating year, I had law class. I was bored, so I did law, don't question it," she laughed. "Anyway, in my law class, they split us into groups. Specifically, Pro-Justice-League-Association and Anti-Justice-League-Association."

"Pro and Anti?"

"Yeah, apparently it was relevant? I guess the JLA doesn't use conventional methods to get evidence? Don't care though. Anyway, I was on the side of Pro, obviously."

"Obviously."

"Wait I'm not done! By the end of the class, I had debated every member of the Anti team and converted them. It actually introduced me to the Robin-Forums, which is just smack dab full of conspiracies."

"Robin-Forums?"

"Oh my god? You don't know those? You're all over them. Some people are convinced you're Kid Flash, some are convinced you're Robin, it's crazy."

"That is crazy but seems funny. What about my family?"

"Someone in my class posted "Why Clark Kent is Batman: An Essay" which has like, 20k likes? It's very popular."

"Well, I swear he isn't Batman. He's just very fond of the night."

"That's what I said, but that man is convinced otherwise."

"You would know if any of us were vigilantes. We're not good at hiding secrets."

"I'm sure you have your secrets, I just find it funny people think you have time to be Kid Flash."

"People spend all their time worrying about me, when will it end?"

"Ha! That's fair. Tabloids running your name probably doesn't help the conspiracies."

"I remember one of my ex-friends from high school mentioned me being Kid Flash, I was so confused, I guess it makes sense now. I'm going to have to show everyone that. They'll get a kick out of it."

"I bet they would. I'm waiting for the day I'm on it as someone who's a hero. Hoping they say I'm Wonder Woman or something. I think it would be funny."

"You get Miss Martin because everyone thinks you're too beautiful to be human."

"Aw. That's so corny that I hate it! Well done."

"Thank you. I learned it from Dick."

"Of course you did."

"Where else would I learn it from?"

"If you're genuinely asking, the internet, probably."

"That's fair. That's completely fair. I think Dick learns a lot of his lines from the internet, honestly."

"Oh yeah, there's no way he comes up with everything on his own. No way."

"So, what other dumb stories do you have?"

"Well, I think my sister is either a vigilante or really, really, weird."

"You think your sister is a vigilante?"

"Okay so, she's a businesswoman. No big deal, right? Wrong. She's always out, more often than she has to be, she's always spending nights away from home."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"Okay well Adrianna, Aria, whatever you want to call her, she's being suspicious."

"I'm sure you're looking too far into it."

---------------------------

The Night Jason Was Stabbed.

Aria clutched the scythe in her life hand. She had failed. She had worn her best dresses that she could hide beneath her capes, she had drugged him, she had stabbed him 6 bloody times, and he had still survived!

She was angry. She walked up to the Red Hood on his time off while he was catching a drink, looking stressed. She didn't care if he accepted her offer to go to her room, she just cared about that moment. The one where she could slip in the crushed-up pills and no one would stop her.

And she had done it. She waited until after he chugged the whole drink to strike. He was stumbling around, like an idiot. She hit his head with the back of her blade, knocking him to the ground where she proceeded to stab him 6 times in his right side.

She kissed his forehead before leaving, which required her to removed her mask a bit, saying "Goodnight, sweet Prince," before running into the darkness.

But the blue one, Nightwing. He got to the Red Hood before he could die. And she was pissed. All that hard work, just for him to not even die.

The scythe was still bloodied from the Red Hood. Her lips were still warm from his forehead. But now, he had possibly seen her face! Her plans were foiled every way when of her goblins came up to her.

"Ma'am, your weapon."

She passed it over without second thought. She wanted it rid of the blood of a living man, she wanted it soaked in the blood of a dead man.

Her plague doctor mask fell a bit as she began to tear up. She had failed. She had never failed at knocking "Heroes" down a peg.

Call it crazy, but she knew the fights between her and the Red Hood were far from over. She even felt as they'd grow closer.

As she looked at the walls covered in the photos of the vigilantes of the world, she knew this was only the first battle. The war was hers. They didn't know what was going to hit them.

But there was an issue. Her sister, Y/N had become close with one of the Waynes. She needed the Waynes to get to the "Heroes" which meant possibly hurting her sister.

----------------------------------

"I hope I'm looking too far into it."

She wasn't.

One night when they were both 17, it was just Aria and Y/N in the house when Y/N was awoken by a loud crash from the downstairs window.

She went to investigate, bat in hand, to find her sister, stumbling over the coffee table. Bleeding out and clutching her side from the blood. Stabbed.

Y/N took no hesitation to take care of Aria. Stitching her up like they had as kids when Y/N would sitch up Aria after shut cut herself on skates, or if Y/N ran straight into a car.

Those images still dance in Y/N's mind to this day. Something was up with the way that her sister had a mask, a long bird-Esque plague doctor mask. A cloak. Knives. Guns. A scythe.

The best outcome would be her sister was attacked while LARPing in the park. The worst? She was a villain. Midway? A hero of the night, a vigilante. Anything was better than a villain.

If only she knew the pain Aria had caused her until this point. The fact that Aria was the one who drugged and tried to kill Jason. The pieces of the story were unravelling in front of everyone's eyes, they just needed to connect them properly.

--------------------------------

Aria had a plan. Kidnap her sister and her lover's family. Get ransom. Get them hurting. Locate the "Heroes". The only issue was that Y/N would recognise the cloak, the mask. She knew the get-up.

Aria was not about to redesign her entire outfit for the sake of not alerting her sister. She figured it would be unlikely that Y/N would focus on the cloak when she's being used for ransom money.

Or at least she hoped. She wasn't certain her plan would even work. Breaking into the Wayne Manor, after one of the kids had been stabbed, in a mugging was going to be difficult.

They had employed security, something that was never common at the Wayne Manor before this moment. She was upset. If only her sister had met the Waynes before the stabbing.

Then she thought.

Red Hood is a Wayne?

It made sense, sure. They got stabbed at the same time. But was it reasonable? She didn't know. Why would an 18-20-year-old be a vigilante? He couldn't even legally drink?

She thought it didn't make sense. That the Red Hood was never, could never be the Wayne kid. But if he was, what could that mean?

She was certain he wasn't. But the thoughts swirled in her mind as if beckoning her to come to the conclusion.

She was crazy, she knew that. She was obviously crazy, she became the villain, the opposite of her twin in every way. She was insane. Arkham would like her. But there was something about the Red Hood being a Wayne that kept coming back to her. Haunting her like the night she was stabbed by Green Arrow back in Metropolis.

She was on their radar. They knew her. They would come to get the Waynes.

She knew the Justice League Association knew of her. But the people didn't. This stunt would make the people know of her.

The name Hour will ring through the streets of Gotham. The streets of Metropolis. Smallville. Anywhere she could get her hands on. She would begin her reign of terror.

No one could stop her now.

---------------------------------

Jason had left after Bruce had called him. She assumed he needed to work or one of his siblings did a dumbass move. It was upsetting that they couldn't spend every moment together, but she knew that it was par for the course with Jason.

She was bored. She didn't have a job, her parents paid her bills if she focused on school. But she wasn't something to do, a reason to be having down days. She knew school gave her this, but it wasn't like it was every damn day.

A job would be every damn day. Hopefully. A reason to do so much in her life.

She figured she could work at Wayne Enterprises. But she didn't want to be that girl. The one who's fucking the CEO and is subsequently untouchable. You can't befriend her and talk sit, she'll tattle.

She wanted to be a normal working person. A colleague, not a boss.

Wayne Enterprises was a last resort for her. If she couldn't get hired anywhere else, she'd go apply thee. You don't fuck company property, she thought.

But she also thought fucking Wanye Enterprises "Property" was fun. and no one was really going to stop her, not even Bruce. Even though Bruce tried to lecture her and Jason, there was only so much he'd do. Barbara and Dick both worked at Wayne Enterprises and hadn't been reprimanded for that.

And obviously, they were having sex. They had been together for a while, Jason said.

Which, obviously they were having sex if they were together for that long.

She scrolled a little while for jobs, marking down a few she'd look further into. Not really anything exciting, she was still young, 1st year in college, a freshman. Not many prestigious places would hire someone her age. Especially while they're still in school.

There were only unpaid intern jobs in her field. And she wasn't about to fuck with not getting paid, even if it was her line of schooling. She didn't think it was worth it to put all of your efforts into a job that you weren't getting paid for.

A lot of kids thought her way, including her sister. Both of them grew up thinking that getting paid for work was necessary, her parents had always told them that. Even if her parents had strict religious views, they would still back her up if someone wasn't paying her, even if they fell out.

She thought if Bruce felt the same, that kids should be paid for what they do. He figured he did since he employed all of his kids once they were old enough to work at Wayne Enterprises.

She noticed Lexcorp, who had recently put up a building in Gotham, was hiring. She thought it would be funny if she went to work for her boyfriend's dad's competitor. She was tempted.

Worst comes to worst, she'd be a Lexcorp employee.

She, of course, would have to dress up for these interviews, and she had the clothes to do so, but she didn't, per se, want to wear them.

She also didn't want to go outside when trials were still raging. So, she figured she'd call Christopher's parents about getting him a lawyer and then scroll the pages for shopping. His parents finally had the time to deal with their son, because Christopher didn't want to interrupt his parents with him being an idiot.

She dialled.

"Hello?" his mom asked.

"Hey, Laura. It's Y/N."

"Y/N! Sweetheart, we've been wondering about you ever since, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. We can talk about it later I swear. So, I already told you about what Christopher did, right?"

"You did."

"He needs a lawyer, the man is pressing charges."

"Well, that's stupid. He has no right."

"Apparently he does."

"We'll get Christopher a lawyer. But how are you, darling?"

"I'm okay. Could be a hell of a lot better. I have faith in the court system."

"We're all worried about you, kiddo. You've wrapped yourself up in a lot of a mess recently."

"I know. It's weird. But I swear I'm strong enough to pull through, you've known me for what, 13 years? Give or take? I know how to handle myself."

"That doesn't mean we can't worry."

"I know, new city, new people. I swear behind the scandals I'm in that I actually have friends."

"I assume we'll meet this Jason eventually?"

"Eventually. We need to find the time between court dates, work. Adulting."

"You don't have a job?"

"Jason does. And I'm thinking about getting one to pass the time."

"Working to pass the time is a new thing, fascinating, you kids are."

"Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done, I know."

"Those sound like song lyrics."

"Sometimes songs are the best way to get all your thoughts compiled into one place, you know. I starred as Katherine Howard, Laura. I know how to convey emotion through art."

"I know. That's still one of the performances Metropolis holds on to, you know."

"I wish they didn't. But it is what it is."

"It's a good performance, kiddo."

She laughed, "Anyway. You get onto that lawyer. Christopher needs it right now."

"I will. Be safe. We love you."

"I love you lot."

Click. She thought about Christopher, and the bullshit he went through to save her.

She brushed the thoughts off and pulled out her journal. Scribbling down her sister's bird mask. She couldn't get that off of her mind. She could have sworn her sister made the thing out of actual bone.

It was like she threw a steampunk aesthetic into a plague doctor. She was certain there was more to it that she didn't know.

Literally Aria LMFAO

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: what's going on? Jac: Big drama Jac: huge Jac: where are you??? Savannah: I needed privacy so this conversation wasn't a big drama for Ty Savannah: but now all his friends are here, like, freaking out Jac: Yeah, they're gonna be Jac: is Carter in there or? Savannah: No Savannah: why are they saying the party's over? Jac: It's for the best he's done a runner Jac: God knows what her mother will do, wouldn't be surprised if she calls the police Savannah: Oh my god, Ty's parents will lose it with him if that happens Jac: Is has lost it, big time Savannah: how drunk is she? Jac: She just came into the main room crying hysterically Jac: saying Carter forced himself onto her Savannah: what are we going to do? Jac: We need to sort this Jac: she called her mum, I couldn't stop her Savannah: she'll tell all our parents & like you said it's likely to go much further Savannah: this is my party, MY idea Jac: It's not as if we knew Jac: who even is he Savannah: I'm still going to become the girl who threw a party where her friend got assaulted Jac: No, we're not going to let that happen Jac: we just have to work out the best angle for us Jac: we either support her fully, but then Ty will have to go, and the rest of them Jac: or maybe we can convince her it wasn't as bad as she thinks Jac: if she's drunk, maybe she could've misread it? Savannah: do you know how much she's had to drink? Savannah: OH MY GOD, I can't believe I'm asking that Savannah: of course we have to support her, she didn't consent Jac: You know Is, she always has too much Savannah: & I know she loves drama but she wouldn't go that far Savannah: would she? Jac: I don't even know Jac: I know nothing about this Carter boy Jac: he was obviously saying the opposite before he left but Jac: this is so not how this night was supposed to go Savannah: I was literally mid-breakup Savannah: I can't handle this Jac: We need to go Jac: I'm not sober enough to fully think out our plan right now Savannah: Me either Savannah: what about Is, will she leave? Jac: I think her mum is coming, like now Jac: but I think, we get her to mine Jac: calm her down so her mum doesn't like Jac: do something major Savannah: Are your mum & dad there though? Savannah: maybe we should take her to my house instead, my mum is fully medicated by now Jac: Good idea Jac: I'm just saying, get her away from here with a hot drink and a shower, she might feel different Savannah: & if that doesn't work, she could take a pill, I do sometimes Savannah: they do help Jac: We could talk to her mum for her Jac: say we're looking after her Savannah: which we are Jac: Exactly Jac: she just needs to calm down, I'm sure Savannah: okay, let's go Jac: [The next day] Jac: is your mum losing it? Savannah: She called my dad Savannah: but my auntie is the one who's FULLY losing it Jac: Jesus Jac: I'm so mad Jac: this is ridiculous Savannah: what happened with your parents? Jac: they won't stop going on about it Jac: asking stupid questions Jac: acting like I should be going down the station myself Jac: literally how would I know what happened??? Jac: none of us were in the room with them Jac: if Is' mum has decided she wants to do that then that's her business Savannah: have you heard from Isabelle? Savannah: Ty won't speak to me, I don't know if his mum took his phone or he just hates me now Jac: No Jac: and I've sent her like hundreds of messages Jac: all I've got is people who weren't there asking if it's true or sounding off at me for what Is has said Savannah: ^^ I was sending her messages all night Savannah: you're the only person replying to me Jac: I feel like a complete pariah Jac: I didn't sign up for this Savannah: This is all my fault Savannah: I never should have put Carter forward as a someone suitable for Is Jac: No, you didn't know Jac: you'd never do that if you did Jac: he seemed like a fun guy, someone she'd like Savannah: I can't stay in this house with everyone shouting at me Jac: Don't Jac: let's go somewhere Savannah: I'm essentially on surveillance like a criminal, there's no way Jac: Well, don't you REALLY need that research book from the library to finish your psych essay Jac: surely they won't stop you studying? Savannah: You're incredible Savannah: I swear my brain is barely functioning Savannah: except all these intrusive sad thoughts, they are of course in full flow Jac: This is some bullshit Jac: but I'm gonna protect you Jac: this is so not our fight Jac: the adults in our life just need time to calm down Savannah: It's really not Savannah: obviously I feel bad for Is but there's nothing I can do other than feel that right now because the lines of communication are closed Jac: ^^ Jac: Precisely, we can only be there for her as much as she wants us to Jac: and like, how rude if we tried to make this about us by getting overly involved Jac: it didn't happen to us, I'm not going to go into hiding or whatever my parents want me to do like something bad happened to me Savannah: Exactly, I'm heartbroken that I wasn't there because of what was happening between me & Ty, but I know that doesn't compare to what she's going through Savannah: she doesn't need my guilt being thrown at her Jac: I don't think anyone appreciates that we feel guilty enough without them implying we could've done more Jac: is this the time to be playing the blame game at all, people?! Savannah: ^^ my auntie thinks I should've been there holding her hand all night or something Jac: everyone is suddenly friend of the year Jac: like, well, we're actually her only real friends Jac: where were you all then? Jac: just happy to judge us now, it's so unfair Savannah: I saw how quick Amelia popped up, excuse you girl, where have you been? Jac: that's her ALL over Jac: doesn't put any work in, swoops in to play hero when it suits her Jac: between her and Is' mum, god knows what they're saying about us Jac: the woman does not like me Jac: 'cos I try to help lift that stifling codependency she's got her daughter under Savannah: & she's just so INTENSE, it's no surprise Is' mum is team Amelia Savannah: I'm not apologising for us having a life that Isabelle isn't utterly in the centre of at all times Jac: SERIOUSLY Jac: it was so awkward when it was just the three of us Jac: Amelia so wanted Is to herself Jac: maybe I should have left them to it Jac: sorry I didn't want to be alone, guys, thanks Savannah: I hate hearing that Jac: Well, it might be just us now Jac: if they turn everyone against us Jac: I don't even care Jac: I can't wait to leave this town and never look back Savannah: If I've got you, who else would I ever need? Savannah: becoming friends with you was the most life-affirming and empowering thing that's happened to me Savannah: I'm not going to lose sight or let go off everything I want & have worked hard for because last night went wrong Jac: And why should we? Jac: Is shouldn't let it define her life and who she is Jac: we certainly shouldn't, it's like, in the nicest possible way, nothing to do with us Jac: We know what we need to do, where we're going Jac: nothing has changed Jac: people can say whatever they will Savannah: If my family wants me to trust in what they're saying instead of everything you are, they need to have enough faith in me & my choices to let me leave the house Savannah: & they aren't Jac: Like, I'm never trying to put a wedge between anyone and their family Jac: but mine are being exactly the same so I can say Jac: they're coming from a total place of fear, they're overreacting like WHAT IF the bad thing happened to us Jac: but it didn't, and they can't protect us from the world by trying to tell us what to do Jac: Is' mum is always like that...look what happened there Savannah: SO true Savannah: I won't even mention how they're overlooking the fact that I'd never let anything like that happen to you & you would never let it happen to me because that's the kind of friendship we have Savannah: isolating me from you, isn't protecting me, it's very harmful actually Jac: We need each other Jac: you're my safety and I'm yours Jac: as much as I don't care what people think, what they say Jac: that'll be different if I don't have you Savannah: You'll always have me Jac: Swear on my ❤? Savannah: Of course Jac: Then we've got this Jac: whatever anyone is going to try to throw at us Savannah: We've got each other Savannah: There's not a single thing anyone can do to make me stop loving you or needing you in my life Jac: I love you Jac: and I know your ❤ and your intentions and I see nothing but pure goodness Jac: I'm not going to let anyone say anything less Savannah: you're 👼🏻 & if people can't recognise that, they're the ones who need to check in with themselves and their world view Savannah: they certainly don't know enough about you to speak out if they're TOTALLY unaware of what a ray of light you are Jac: You're going to make me cry Jac: You're the sweetest kindest soul and you deserve none of this bullshit backlash Savannah: we're leaving it behind us Savannah: you're right, the library isn't off limits Jac: I'll meet you there then Jac: where we go after is our business Savannah: 🙌 Jac: We'll be back before anyone notices Jac: do you think we should try to call Is, or see her or Jac: do we leave it up to her Jac: might be the kindest, you know her mum has taken over everything else right now, with Amelia now, like 🙄 Savannah: If her mum has her phone, she could call ours Savannah: I'd actually be under house arrest then Savannah: she's unlikely to be up to seeing anyone anyway, I barely slept myself, Is won't have Jac: Yeah, true Jac: I feel like I'm in enough shit considering I've not done anything Jac: have you heard where Carter is, what he's doing about this whole situation Savannah: I keep hoping Ty will reply & tell me anything that's going on, but he hasn't Jac: How did you end things with him Jac: like, did you or? Savannah: I was trying to do it gently, you know? Savannah: so of course I didn't get to say everything that I wanted to before we were interrupted Savannah: but he can read me well enough that he obviously knew where the conversation was supposed to be going Jac: He's probably in a state of shock Jac: given that and then what happened immediately after Jac: I'm sure he'll come 'round soon, give you the closure you need Savannah: I can't cope with not being able to speak to him when he's bound to have these unanswered questions Savannah: all the pain he's going to be in when he finally feels it Jac: It's unavoidable Jac: part of being human, growing Savannah: I think I'm in shock too Jac: You are Jac: we all are Savannah: I didn't even take any of my mum's meds but it feels like I have Jac: everything is cloudy Jac: we only have like a tenth of the story and none of it makes sense or feels real Jac: like a joke or nightmare Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: You're real, I'll feel better when I see you Jac: that's why we should be together right now Jac: our family weren't there, they have even less of a clue Jac: together we can actually make sense of this and Jac: get back to some semblance of normality Savannah: how can we stay together? Savannah: I've only just walked out of my house & I already don't want to go back Savannah: that's without even considering how stressful school will be Jac: how can we go back? Jac: Is won't be able to Jac: everyone is talking, whether they're on her side or not Jac: we need to go somewhere Jac: have a break from all of this before we have to face it Savannah: but where? Savannah: & how when our parents are insisting on this degree of control? Jac: if they're not willing to be reasonable and cooperate with us Jac: don't see why we should have to Jac: we know this is what we need, what's right for us, right? Savannah: Yes Savannah: & we've earned our own money, I haven't touched any of it since we started Jac: Exactly, we've got enough to get far away enough and live comfortably for long enough to process this Jac: we just need to get as much out here before we leave Jac: first thing they'd do would be to check where our card was last used, need to stop the papertrail Jac: then we have to leave our phones here Jac: we'll write down our important numbers and get a burner, we're not stupid Savannah: You're the only person I want to talk to right now and I'll have you with me Jac: ❤❤❤ Jac: and like you said, we protect each other, nothing bad is going to happen Jac: so, you want to? Savannah: we aren't going to let anything happen that isn't what we need Savannah: I want to be with you, I feel like whatever my family is scared of would be much more likely to happen if I'm not Savannah: there's way more danger to my mental health if I stay here Jac: Then we're going Jac: luckily a rucksack won't look out of place for all the books we're meant to be carrying Savannah: Should I act like I've forgotten something & go back? Jac: I can pack spare clothes for you too if you like Jac: but your own might make you feel more you, more normal Savannah: that's such a good point Savannah: we've lost enough normality Jac: everything feels so different now Savannah: it does Savannah: but how important you are to me hasn't changed Jac: I know when I see you, everything will feel better Jac: and we'll know exactly what to do Jac: it's how it's been since I met you Savannah: all we have to do is keep trusting the universe & each other Jac: I trust you both entirely Savannah: I know I let you down but I promise that won't ever happen again Jac: you could never Savannah: I did! The party was an awful idea but I selfishly demanded it & if that wasn't bad enough I left you alone after insisting I needed you there Savannah: we could've been together, nothing would've gone so wrong Jac: but I let Is go off alone with him Jac: I should've spotted there was something off about him Jac: THAT off Jac: it was both our idea Jac: but that wasn't Savannah: Baby, you can't think like that, you didn't even know his name, how could you EVER realise he was that kind of person Savannah: Ty didn't & they were on the team together Jac: Yeah, Ty isn't like the other lads Jac: because some of them definitely knew Jac: but Ty wouldn't put up with that, would he? Savannah: he would've told me if he knew Savannah: all he said was that he thought Is would be better off going with someone from our year Jac: Yeah Jac: he was kind of insistent on that, we thought at the time Jac: but that's probably down to how innocent Is is in lots of ways, like we thought then too Jac: or was Jac: Poor Is Savannah: I feel sick Jac: I know Jac: me too Jac: I'm on my way Savannah: He was always so gentle, I had to make the first move, like literally every move Savannah: he can't have known Jac: No, no way Jac: he's not that kind of boy Jac: I'm just at that place where I don't know who I can trust BUT you Jac: everyone seems like a suspect Savannah: If he'd just talk to me Savannah: everything's SO messed up Jac: do you want to see him, before we go? Savannah: I can't, for the same reason we can't see Is Savannah: his mum would call my auntie as soon as she saw me & he's not going to agree to meet me anywhere else Jac: In a few days, you can call him Jac: we'll go to a payphone Savannah: okay Jac: It will be Jac: I promise Jac: you'll see Savannah: I don't have to see it to believe in you Savannah: you've never let me down