#yeah yeah unedited fuckit have at it!

[variousqueerthings]

“one of the top three sexiest robin williams roles” you can’t just leave that in the tag without saying what the others are (but if I’ve missed it OTL)

Okay, okay I admit, I was being mildly flippant because I think robin williams is highly capable of being sexy and armand is a great example, however now that we're here, let us consider the tenets of the sexy robin williams character

EDIT: also at this point, apologies, I was out travelling for a few days, I was not ignoring you. ahem. continuing:

did I come across him as a kid/teenager in a story that made me cry my eyes out

moustache/general hairiness

how queer is he

how well-dressed is he

how anti-authoritarian is he

does he make me laugh

Let's go wild and say every one of these gets rated from 0-10 (with 0 being for example "not at all hairy" and 10 being "sexy motherfucker")

now, here's some of his most well-known ventures

good morning vietnam: he's not got a moustache, because it's the army, but because it's the army his natural anti-authoritarianism is dialled up. he queers the space and goes hard on the camp comedy. loses points for being about americans in vietnam, and he's kind of a pest towards a vietnamese woman to begin with (although he does improve). best out of context line: "we can't say dyke these days, we can't even say lesbian, we have to say woman in comfortable shoes." Also the movie ends on a dorothy/wizard of oz quote. it's definitely not queer, but it's also... a choice.

0 on me crying for him, 3 on his chest peeking out once or twice, 7 on queerness (although I cannot overstate that it's not queer, but it IS him doing great camp as robin williams), 4 on the well-dressed I guess, at least he's not always in khaki, like... 6 on anti-authoritarian, because he's still an american in vietnam, 6 on the laughter because when I laugh I laugh a lot, but some of it ages pooorly = 26 points

dead poets society: the og "teacher you had a crush on, because he affirmed your queer identity and taught you poetry." I have since worked with tutors who taught me poetry and yeah, you do get heart eyes at them, poetry and being heard just does that to you. it's anti-authoritarian of course, it's professor-chic. it's low on the hairiness scale though. of course, it is also very very sad. he's dressed like me 20 years from now.

9 on sobbing scale, 2 on hairiness from memory, 8 on queerness in that whole fucking movie, 7 on well-dressed (this is about my gender okay), 5 on the laughter he's still robin williams even when he's only joking around a little, 8 on anti-authoritarian = 39 points

to wong foo: only in it briefly, canonically bisexual, leaves an impression, however the birdcage gives him more to work with, also... he has a soul patch, it is there, one must see it RIP. however I like that he just appeared in this movie, which was very bold in the way it cast its roles for the time

0 on sobbing scale (for him), 0 on the hair-scale my goodness, 10 for queerness that is a bisexual man (his truest self), 6 on well-dressed yes he's technically well-dressed but I don't like it much, and 5 on anti-authoritarian -- he's a queer so duh but it's not really in the plot for him, 7 on the laughter he's just charming = 28 points

bicentennial man: he's a robot who argues for his right to be considered alive. he's not my personally sexiest robot of all time, but every robot is a sexy robot. this one also made me cry (we're seeing a trend huh).

IIII cannot rate his sexiness in this movie, it's been too long -- will have to rewatch and get back to it

good will hunting: we love a dramatic turn, I wanted to say, but he did a lot of dramatic turns actually. this one might be the most straightforward dramatic that I've watched though. he's got a beard! he's helping out a kid without a lot of opportunities. he's challenging toxic masculinity. we love a sexy bearded man who's making the world a better place, breaking the cycle

yeah I cried at this as a kid 8 points, iiihihihi he has A BEARD 10 points! queer ethos related to breaking the cycle of toxic masculintitty and being someone who's looking at methods of healing and non-nuclear family support networks but not overall super queer on his character's front necessarily 5, 4 on the well-dressed it's worse than dead poets, 7 on anti-authoritarian, hmmm and 4 on laughter... it's still robin williams = 38 points

jumanji: a mess of a person who never shaved before, that's trans man aesthetics forya. he's a bit too busy for me to consider him sexy necessarily, he arrives and immediately man-eating plants, man-hunters (no innuendo intended), floods, and what-have-yous follow. he doesn't have time to be sexy, but that being said...

yes I cried to this movie as a kid 7 on the sad williams, okay he is hairy but is he kempt at all??? still 6, idk if it's queer to be trapped inside a game for most of your life but it'll certainly make you neurodivergent which is queer enough 5, badly dressed (sorry) 3, anti-authoritarian... tricky... he doesn't get on with his strict dad as a kid, he evades a man-hunter (again, no innuendo), he gets arrested by a cop and he continues to roll the dice on a game that wreaks havoc (although he continues to abide by the rules of the game sooo there's a whole essay here, let's just say 5), 4 on the laughter = 30

hon mentions: hook -- makes me cry too hard to even consider sexiness + when I was a kid it was all about dante basco. mrs doubtfire -- the particular kind of drag he does doesn't do it for me, but we love a genderfluid icon. mork&mindy -- I haven't actually seen it, but he seems too baby overall at that point. flubber -- he's got that mad professor type Look, but I've never actually seen it (I saw a trailer over and over on one of my vhs' as a kid), life according garp is a weird fucking movie which is surprisingly trans-positive but also just like... not well-made, I wanna watch what dreams may come

AND FINALLY BIRDCAGE - one of my queerbaby movies I elegantly let the tears fall 7, HIS CHEST HIS FACIAL HAIR HIS ARMS 10/10, 10 ON QUEERNESS, 10 ON DRESS, loses points on the authoritarian because he gives in to his petulant son's demands for heterosexuality BUT gains some back for his speech about being a middleaged fag + standing by his lover at the end 7, YES HE MAKES ME LAUGH 8 = 52

DING DING DING actually Birdcage is robin williams' sexiest role woops are we surprised?

generally: robin williams is underrated as a hairy man tbh, my guy's arms and chest are 👀👀👀👀👀