#yeah yeah some will call me a tease again but i actually just wanted billy to put some lipstick on

[weird-an]

Harrington is a greedy fucker. Billy knows this. Harrington is the only child that has always gotten all the gifts he wanted and probably even more because no one ever said no to him.

He's barely inside the house and Harrington already pulls his pants down, tears off his shirt and sucks on Billy's skin. They've fucked outside, on the backseat of the Camaro, at Scoop's Ahoy and one memorable time- to Billy's delight - in the Wheeler's bathroom.

It's dizzying to feel that wanted. Billy knows he's just a toy, a way of passing the time until Harrington's dad buys him an acceptance letter to a college Harrington doesn't even want to go to and Billy gets tossed away when a new model comes along. But he'll enjoy it while it lasts, because Harrington might be a selfish asshole, but he's the best fuck Billy ever had.

Today Harrington doesn't bend him over the kitchen counter when he arrives. Instead they go upstairs, into Harrington's room Billy has barely been to - usually they don't make it that far.

"I want you to put that on," Harrington says, holding out a lipstick for Billy. It's fucking Dior, something that Billy didn't ever thought he'd touch in his life, something he didn't know existed outside of sparkly magazines and television.

Billy takes it, heart in his throat. Guys don't put on lipstick.

"I'm not your fucking girlfriend," he sneers. His ribs ache.

Harrington just smiles calmly. Like he expected Billy's reaction.

"The color is really pretty." As if that would make it easier.

Billy pulls off the cap. It's rose, like a raspberry. He wonders how it would feel.

"C'mon." Harrington's fingers ghost above his lips. "It's just a joke."

Billy's stomach twists. This doesn’t feel like a joke. Harrington doesn’t look like he's joking.

"Whatever."

Putting lipstick on is a strange feeling. It feels creamy on his lips and he thinks there's the faint scent of roses in the air.

Billy has to admit, at least to himself, that it's pretty. His tan, his blond curls and the reddened lips. There's something inside him that uncurls, something that feels right.

"Can't wait to see you choke on my cock," Harrington murmurs. "With your pretty red lips."

"You're a fucking pervert," Billy murmurs. His cheeks burn. He can't let anyone know how frail he feels right now. How the world seems right and wrong at the same time.

"You just look fucking pretty," Harrington says. He gives Billy a sly grin, like he sees right through him. "You can keep the lipstick."

It's already tugged away in Billy's pocket. "I'll think about it."

"Give me a taste." Harrington's lips are already there, brushing against Billy's. Harrington always takes, but this feels like he's giving something back, too.

[ghostfacesvalentine]

Anyone’s little toy - Billy Loomis x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Billy Loomis x Fem!Reader

Warnings: A tiny bit of degradation, nothing too bad, fem!receiving oral. That’s it really (?)

Type: Blurb

Request: N/A

Word Count: N/A

Prompt: Billy finds out readers lack of sexual experience.

Notes: This was originally for Jason Todd but maybe it fits Billy more? Idk shut up. Not proofread, I just needed to get this off my mind 😵‍💫 send ideas, specifically Jason Todd and Steve Roger’s in particular.

You don’t remember how the topic was brought up, all you knew was that you were sitting on Billy’s couch, your back pressed against the cushion as he interrogated you.

There had been an awful amount of sexual tension between you two. Neither of you admitted anything to the other. You were too intimidated to bring anything up to him. You were happy with coming by to hang out with him when he called, talking about his day, your day, ordering food, playing games or watching TV. Sometimes when boredom hit, you even made out, but that was always as far as it went and it wasn’t always.

You couldn’t help but fantasize about it going further, about how he would feel, what he would look like. The closest you got was sitting on his lip with his hands having an ungodly grip on your hips. His kissing always kept you from this world, you forgot everything when Billy Loomis’s spit was in your mouth.

“What is it? Have you ever been touched?” Billy asked in a bitter tone. You were both grown, grown enough to have your own experiences, god knows he had his share. You never confused in him your lack of experience.

“Um” your cheeks flushed red, adamantly avoiding his eyes, they were practically prying into you. The spotlight was on you this whole time, yet it felt like you were on a disgusting display before him.

“Yeah of course I have” you lied. Your eyes still staring at the wall behind him, a frown present on your face in hopes of disguising your truth.

It was nothing to be embarrassed about, but you were ashamed to have a pathetically stupid amount of experience in the sexual aspect of your life.

Billy stared you down like if he was about to devour you, his frown activated across his face, head tilting to the side as he tried to match his eyes with you. “I don’t know, you’re such a sweet baby. I don’t think you’ve ever been anyone’s little toy.. am I right? I could be underestimating you.”

He almost spat out the questions, there was a tinge of jealousy, again, even if you were grown he still had a piece of hope that he could be the only one to see you sprawled out and chanting his name like if he’d show you a small gesture of mercy.

His breath felt hot against your cheek, his tongue peaked out to press against your skin. Your breathing fastened, your legs clenched together in hopes of getting some feeling of relief.

He was eating this up, overly proud of the position he had you in. “Sweet little princess, why aren’t you looking at me? Are you hiding something?” He teased, what an ass. You tucked your bottom lip into your mouth, your eyes refusing to look at his directly as if you could pull one over on him.

Your skirt folded into itself as you kept yourself from getting too close to him, he never went this far and you never went this far, with anyone actually. The embarrassment alone was going to set you off in tears, this was humiliating in the sweetest way.

“N-no im not hiding anything.” You spoke up, barely.

Your squirming was a delicacy to the mercenary. His eyes were prying into your movements, watching you get uneasy. He wanted to tear you apart right then and there. He was only ashamed it took him this long, but there was a long thought process behind his actions.

“I don’t know Y/N. Somethin’s telling me you’re lying to me.” He sung, his head shaking sideways ever so slightly.

It was then his head dipped down to the side of your head, pressing a wet kiss on your cheek, slowly pulling away to watch your reaction. You were as pressed back as you could be in hopes of hiding without actually hiding. You had to check yourself to see if you were still breathing, what the hell was so shameful about this?

“Billy.” You breathed out, his face in front of yours, he slowly knelt down, hands reaching out to your thighs. He would never admit it now, but he could practically smell your arousal. Billy’s hands gripped onto you gently, the outline of his body completely covered you. He was intimidating as much as he was mouth watering.

“Mmm?” He whispered as his hands soothed your thighs gently, his eyes finally dropped down to your figure. Your panties peaked out to him, causing his eyes to focus on your lower part instead. Billy’s thumbs maneuvered to the ends of your skirt, flipping the seam to push back closer to your hips, exposing more of your body to him. He did it so slow, enough to where you could stop him if you needed to, but you didn’t want to.

You were nervous, shy, but you wanted to feel his tough more than anything.

“N-nothing. I just haven’t-“ you frowned again this time dropping your legs onto the couch slowly, sitting up in unison as your eyes finally turned to him. “I’ve never, you know. Really been with anyone. I trust you, I just-“ and there it came, the realization of what you just admitted.

Billy looked up at you, instead of pulling back, his eyes seemed to almost turn a shade darker, turning from your face, back down to your figure. “You’ve never been touched?” He raised an eyebrow, waiting for your response, still unclear with what you were trying to tell him.

“No, I mean I have I just. I’ve never gone all the way, I don’t know what to do.” You admitted without thinking, you absentmindedly pulled away from him and shifted yourself closer to the couch.

“Do you want to do anything with me?” His voice cracked the small silence between you both. You felt the redness approaching your face again, you only answered with a wordless nod. In return, the devious smile made its way back to his drying lips.

“Just tell me if it’s too far” he warned you as his head dipped down again into your thighs, he warmed you back up with wet kisses across your sensitive skin, nipping and sucking at he warm pieces. Your legs responded in shifts, his hands then trailed again to your soft legs, moving them over his shoulder as he pushed his head further up to your core.

There was a change in his ache for you, again, maybe he won’t admit it now but the thought of making you feel good, to be the only one to taste you and leave you scratching at his back when you can’t take it anymore, all the sinful ideas plagued his mind. The fantasy of it all awoke something primal in him, the more the idea saturated his mind, the more desperate he got.

His hands ran up to your hips, pulling you as close as he could to his face, his arms hooked around the bottom for your thighs to hold you in place, his fingers pushed your underwear aside, enough to give him some space to work, he flattened his tongue against your slick folds, causing your head to fall back at the intrusion.

You couldn’t move even if you wanted to. Billy restricted your legs as his mouth opened and sucked into your clit. A gasp escaped your lips at the obscenity of his movements, you never felt anything like it, your legs rubbed against the sides of his head as his mouth moved more desperately by the second.

“Billy-” you whimpered out as his tongue swirled around your opening, your pink cotton panties were in the way of the whole experience but he was too mesmerized by your taste to get away from your pussy for even a second. Your thighs clenched every time he hit a sweet spot, he was careful not to overstimulate you too fast, he was going to try to get you as wet as possible before he fucked you.

His tongue flattened then pierced your hole, feeling the tip of his tongue pushed out by your body, taking turns exploring your folds.

Your head fell back again, feeling nothing but the warm wet spit invade your sensitive slick. Between laps along your cunt he’d pull back to mumble sweet obscenities, the hoods of his eyes dripping down in sweet bliss as he tasted your juices. “Good girl, you’re doing so good.” He praised as he felt your legs squeeze his head again when the pressure was too strong.

You didn’t know what feeling you were chasing, all you knew was that it felt like you could stay here all day, little parts his tongue would swipe made you jolt, you could almost fall asleep in ecstasy.

It wasn’t long until Billy noticed your comfortability, causing him to start lapping at your clit, his left hand pulled apart your folds while the other pulled your underwear aside. Your body sure felt the pressure now, you twisted your lower half without thinking to get away from his tongue.

Billy’s fingers let go of your panties and his index finger made circles against your clit, causing your body to flinch and little moans to escape your salivating mouth. His finger then prodded into you slowly before then just shoving itself as far as he could. His eyes wouldn’t let you go as you squirmed and mumbled out incoherent moans.

“You look so cute when you have something in you.” He muttered, watching you flinch and curl your body forward as he added another finger. You whimpered as he kept the pace, his eyes half closed with lust as you panted at his impatience to use you up.

His fingers moved in a scissoring motion, causing you to squirm again, this time moaning a little louder. “Maybe I do believe you haven’t been played with. I haven’t even started and I know you’re going to cream all over my fingers soon” he hissed.

You pouted, your lustful eyes gleaming down to him, you would have something smart to say if Billy wasn’t rubbing his hands all over your cunt, talking to you like you were a stupid girl chasing a high. His fingers rammed in and out of you in a steady pace, his palm ever so slightly pushing against your clit with every thrusting motion. You felt your body involuntarily clench.

Billy slowly stood to his feet, his hands never stopping or halting in the process. He needed to see you cum more than anything right now, more than you needed to feel it.

“God if you could see yourself right now. You look so pretty.” He whined out as he looked down to you, you looked back at him, with a more prominent frown and an ache in your core. Your hips began to shift as he kept his pace, his left hand made its way up to swipe his thumb across your bottom lip.

“So fucking pretty. Maybe next time I’ll bust a load on your face play with your pretty little cunt and get a picture. What do you say?”

You were wordless, before you could even get the chance to answer he curled his fingers, finding your gspot took him a little longer but when he felt your pussy clench around him he kept prying. You closed your eyes in despair to keep your climax going, bucking your hips as he kept fucking you with his fingers. “Good fucking princess. You look so fucking pretty, fuck.” He moaned, desperate to toss you around, fill you to the brim, he knew better than to go crazy with you so fast, but it wasn’t like he had enough self control to take it slow.

Your body jolted involuntarily, your eyes squeezed shut as you cried out in pleasure. All those sweet noises for him to hear alone were enough to send him over the edge. This was going to be a long night.

[thegettingbyp2]

Oh!

Billy the kid hates reader but it’s so passionate so… they fuck. Threats are always spewing in sex, gun to the head, a splintered bed frame/dented wood step… 🥵

Would I Do This

A/N: Hi I've combined this with a request where Billy fucks the reader with his gun, really hope you like it!

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Billy hated you. He was pretty sure he hated you more than he’d ever hated anyone else and he couldn’t put his finger on why. But what he did know was that you knew how much he hated you, so you made it your mission to infuriate him at every chance you had. You’d think that by now he’d be used to your constant teasing, that he’d just be able to brush it off of his shoulder and carry on with his day, and usually he could do this to an extent, but there was something about you on this particular night.

‘Hey Billy!’ you called over to him from where you were sitting on the wooden step at the front of your house, your dress sitting prettily around you as you breathed in the night air. Billy knew that he should just carry on walking and ignore you but he quickly found himself stopping in the middle of the road and turning to head closer to you, stopping when he was a couple of feet away.

‘What do you want?’ he said, crossing his arms over his chest, already getting annoyed when you giggled at him.

‘What’s wrong with you today, hmm?’

‘I saw you.’

‘You hurt me, Billy, you truly hurt me,’ you replied, grinning as you held your hand to your chest and Billy couldn’t help but notice the way your chest rose and fell with each breath. ‘Besides, I don’t think you actually hate me at all.’

This pulled Billy up short, his eyebrow raising as he looked at you. ‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yep. I think you’re actually in love with me and are just too scared to admit it.’

That was the last straw for Billy as he cleared the final few feet between the two of you, his hand coming out to wrap tightly round your throat, making you gasp in surprise as he brought his face close to yours. ‘If I loved you, I’d be treating you a lot nicer than this,’ he said, before crashing his lips onto yours. The kiss was rough, dirty, your teeth clashing against each others as Billy’s hand refused to let up on its grip around your neck. ‘If you want, I can take you inside and show you how much I hate you,’ he said, breaking the kiss and pulling back to look at you, his grip loosening the tiniest bit while he waited for your confirmation.

It was only then that you realised that you were still outside on your front step and anyone who walked past would have just seen what happened. You quickly nodded your head, desperate to get inside and see what else Billy would do to you.

‘Words,’ he reminded you, tightening his grip once again.

‘Yes,’ you gasped out breathlessly as your hand came up to wrap around his wrist. That was all Billy needed to hear before he took his hand off of your neck and tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling you to your feet and pushing you inside your house.

As soon as the door slammed closed behind you, Billy spun you around and crashed his lips to yours again, lifting your thighs around his waist and walking over to the small sofa that sat in the centre of the room before dropping you on it and climbing over you. He instantly pulled the skirts of your dress up and your panties down, revealing yourself to him and brought his hand down to run a finger through your folds, groaning at how wet you were.

‘If I loved you,’ he said, pushing a finger into you without any preparation, making your head fall back and a moan to escape your lips, ‘I wouldn’t be using you like the little slut that you are, would I?’

‘Some couples are into that kind of thing,’ you replied, grinning up at him.

‘Oh yeah?’ he crooked his fingers inside you as he used his other hand to reach down to his belt and grab his gun, sliding it up your body and pointing it at your head. ‘Would I be doing this?’ he questioned mockingly.

You felt your heart stop as you felt the cold metal of the barrel of his gun against your temple, both from fear and excitement as you felt your pussy clench around his fingers, making him smirk. ‘You wouldn’t,’ you said, hating the fact that your voice shook slightly.

‘Wouldn’t I?’ he said before pulling the trigger. The click of the empty barrel echoed through the room and you couldn’t help but flinch, making Billy chuckle darkly. The sound of the gun had you clenching around his fingers, throwing you into your first orgasm of the night.

Once your breathing had begun to even out again and your eyes reopened, you were instantly greeted with the sight of Billy smirking above you, still holding his gun in his hand against your temple. Your chest heaved from the adrenaline.

‘You actually came around my fingers at the idea of a gun to your head?’ Billy asked incredulously, a low chuckle coming from his chest, ‘you’re more of a slut than I thought.’ Your cheeks flushed as you realised that you didn’t have a comeback for him which only made him laugh harder. ‘If you liked that so much, I wonder what else I could do to make you cum with my gun?’

You didn’t actually process what he had just said, still too busy recovering from your orgasm, until you felt him slide his gun down your body, your body stilling when he ran the cold metal of the barrel through your folds, bumping against your already-sensitive clit. Your hips bucked up slightly, earning you a pleased hum for Billy, a sound you wouldn’t mind hearing again.

‘How about I fuck you with my gun? See how quick you get off on that?’ he asked teasingly, circling the barrel of the gun around your entrance.

‘Take the bullets out,’ you replied, still somewhat breathless.

Billy leaned back down, this time planting a soft kiss to your lips surprising you. ‘Now, why do that? I take the bullets out and it takes away the fun,’ he said before beginning to apply pressure as he slowly pushed his gun into you, making sure to give you time to adjust before pushing more in and rubbing a thumb on your clit, making sure you stayed nice and wet for him.

As soon as the gun was buried deep inside of you, Billy pulled it back only to push it back into you, causing a quiet whine to crawl from your throat as your head tilted back. ‘Billy,’ you sighed unknowingly as your eyes fluttered shut from the pleasure.

‘Nuh-uh,’ Billy sounded, tapping your cheek harshly to open your eyes, ‘eyes on me. I want you to see who it is making you feel this good with a fucking gun.’

His words paired with the feeling of his thumb on your clit and his gun inside you had you whining pitifully as you tried to keep your eyes open. ‘Close,’ you managed to gasp out as you started rocking your hips in time with the gun.

‘Oh yeah? You gonna cum on my gun, sweetheart?’ he teased, speeding up his pace with the gun and his thumb on your clit until your thighs began to shake around his waist. ‘Go on, cum all over my gun like a little slut and I’ll fuck you with my cock.’

That was all it took for you to let yourself fall over the edge. As stars burst behind your eyes and your back arched up into him, you left yourself to Billy’s mercy as he fucked you through your second orgasm. However, the sound of a click had your world screeching to a halt, unfairly cutting your orgasm short as Billy pulled the trigger again.

‘You - you just,’ you stammered, not quite believing what had happened. ‘You said you were taking the bullets out.’

‘Think back, sweetheart. You told me to take the bullets out and I said no,’ he said, leaning back down until his lips were brushing your ear as he whispered, ‘that’s where all the fun is. But, look at that, I’ve made you cum twice and you’ve not even had my cock yet.’

‘Don’t get cocky, it’s not a good look on you.’

‘Maybe so, but I think you on my cock is going to look very good,’ he replied straight away, leaning back to push his trousers down and free his cock. You took the time to pull your dress up and over your head so you were naked on the sofa underneath him and he groaned when he saw the sight of you, your thighs spread over his as his hands came to grip them wrapping you tighter around him and placing his cock on your stomach, showing you just how deep he’s going to reach inside of you. You couldn’t help the nervous swallow as you realised his was going to be the biggest cock you’d taken. ‘Like what you see, sweetheart?’ he asked, smirking down at you.

‘Don’t call me - oh!’ you were cut off as Billy slid into you, not stopping until he was completely buried in you and your chests were pressed against each other. The fabric of his shirt was rubbing against your nipples teasingly and it took everything you had not to whine at the feeling. Billy groaned at the feeling of you wrapped around him and he buried his head in your neck, nipping at your skin.

‘You were saying?’ he looked back at you before letting his eyes trail down your body as he began to thrust his hips. He bit his lower lip as he watched himself disappear inside you, mesmerised at the way you stretched around him before looking back at you, grinning when he saw your head tipped back and your eyes screwed closed.

He moved his head to your breasts, circling his tongue around one of your nipples, making you arch into him before harshly bit down, pulling a cry from your lips. Your fingers tangled in his hair, holding him against you as he started to leave bite marks all over your breasts, collar and neck, marks that you knew were going to start to bruise before he even left.

‘Stop leaving marks,’ you protested weakly as he grazed his teeth against your earlobe, a small whimper coming from you as his breath fanned across your face as he chuckled at you.

‘I want everyone to see that you were my little slut, to see that I put you in your place.’

Billy sped up the pace of his hips, his breath coming heavier as he grew closer to his orgasm. His hips started hitting harder against yours as he hitched one of your legs higher on his waist, making his cock brush against your g-spot.

‘Fuck, Billy, I can’t,’ you whined, tugging at his hair hard enough to make him hiss in your ear. Your whole body felt like it was shaking as you began to feel overstimulated as your third orgasm was fast approaching.

‘Come on, sweetheart, cum for me. Let everyone know who’s making you feel this good,’ Billy groaned, trying to stave off his own orgasm.

You clenched around Billy as you were both catapulted into your orgasms simultaneously. Your hands moved from Billy’s hair to wrap around his neck, holding him close as he panted against your skin. As you were both coming down, you couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on his jaw, making him shiver before he pulled out of you and leaned back on the sofa, running a hand down his face.

‘Where are you going?’ you asked quietly when you watched him stand up and begin to tidy himself up, leaving you feeling vulnerable as you grabbed your dress, wrapping it around you haphazardly as you sat up. Billy chuckled darkly before he looked over at you, hatred filling his eyes once again.

‘I think I’ve finished proving my point, sweetheart,’ he said coldly, smirking as he looked you up at down again. ‘Next time you need a reminder, call me,’ he said before walking out of the door, leaving you, still naked on the sofa, cursing yourself for letting yourself feel something for him.

[suspiciouslackofclowns]

I’m having a lot of thoughts about super protective Steve right now, but I’m also having a lot of writer’s block so I don’t have the energy to actually set the whole scene.

I need Billy and Steve delivering pizzas and snacks to The Party (including the Corroded Coffin guys) to wherever they’re holding their campaign. Maybe somewhere in the woods because it’s aesthetic and the weather is nice, like out by Castle Byers.

The kids are fine with Harringroveson for the most part by now, though a couple of them (namely Dustin) don’t always get along the best with Billy. He tries really hard so it’s getting better, but progress is slow. He’s still detested by the Corroded Coffin guys (namely Gareth).

I love the misunderstood character trope for some reason. I love the idea of other characters hating Billy’s image, the idea of him, but when they get to know him as more than the asshole jock they peg him as, they realize he isn’t all that bad.

Maybe Gareth makes one too many comments about not wanting Billy there. Calls him an asshole and provokes him with the intention of validating his own perception of the blond. Maybe even goes as far as to insinuate that the only reason Eddie or Steve are with him is because of his looks. Something mean that’s said in a teasing tone, but hits just as hard despite it.

Billy doesn’t react with white hot rage like everyone’s expecting. He turns away and walks through the woods back to the car with a look of shame on his face, and Steve immediately jogs to catch up with him, lacing their fingers together as they weave through the trees.

Eddie stands there anxiously, wondering if he should follow them or if it’ll overwhelm his already upset boyfriend. He turns back to the group and looks pointedly at Gareth. Not angry. Just disappointed.

Which some could argue is worse.

“C’mon, man,” he sighs, gesturing vaguely. “You couldn’t be cordial until they left? He didn’t even do anything.”

“Made ‘em leave faster, didn’t it?”

Gareth’s tone is less sure than before, because after all, he isn’t a malicious person at his core. He’s clearly at odds with himself about hurting Billy’s feelings — he didn’t even think it was something that could happen.

Eddie just shakes his head and sighs.

“Well, you’ve poked the bear, so now shit’s gonna get testy.”

“What, like—“ Gareth gulps and his eyes blow wide. “Like Hargrove’s gonna kick my ass or something?”

At the words, Eddie laughs. Crosses his arms and sobers when he hears twigs crunch in the distance, a set of footsteps approaching once again.

“Not Billy,” Eddie whispers.

As if on queue, Steve emerges from between the trees. His jaw is clenched and his shoulders are squared. He gets eyes on Gareth before anything else, which has him scurrying up out of his seat on the floor. Ready to bolt.

Steve stops beside Eddie. Shrugs his hand off of his shoulder when Eddie sets it there and points an accusatory finger at Gareth. The movement makes him flinch even though he’s still a handful of feet away.

“I dunno what your fucking problem is, but you don’t say shit like that about my boyfriend when I’m around, you hear me?” Steve seethes. He eyes Gareth up and down like he’s sizing him up before he simply tsks and shakes his head. “You can find your way home in the dark for all I care, so don’t bother asking for a ride when the game’s over.”

He stares until Gareth nods, at which point some of the rage relaxes out of him. Only slightly.

Then he turns to Eddie.

“Get on the radio when you’re done?” he says much more softly. “I’m gonna go ahead and take him home.”

“Is he alright?”

“Yeah, but you know how he is.”

Eddie nods and cracks a smile.

“Big ol’ softie.”

“Mhmm.”

Steve mirrors his expression. Leans in for a quick kiss, then casts Gareth a final glare before he takes his leave.

Once he’s gone, Eddie huffs a laugh and intertwines his fingers over the back of his head.

“Jesus. Give him a while, he’ll get over it,” he dismisses. Glances over at Gareth, who looks about as startled as a mouse that’s been dropped into a snake pit. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“I dunno, you could probably speed up the process by making Billy a cake or something.” When Gareth furrows his eyebrows, Eddie shrugs and laughs again. “I’ve never pissed Steve off that bad, but I have hurt Billy’s feelings before. My boy loves him some chocolate cake.”

There’s a beat of silence. Then two.

They wind up having to wrap the game up faster than they anticipated, because the nice weather becomes a drizzle which becomes a pour.

Steve goes against his word and gives Gareth a ride home.

The next day, he’s standing on their porch with a Tupperware container full of chocolate cupcakes that say srry 4 b-ing an a-hole in blue icing on top.

Billy immediately shoves one into his mouth and Steve reluctantly forgives Gareth, meanwhile Eddie is laughing his ass off because he didn’t really expect him to take his suggestion seriously.

[rosewine-5]

𝑽𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑨𝒅𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 (3)

Billy the Kid x b!woc reader

Being the pastor's daughter meant you had to always be on your best behavior, never stepping off the right path, walking the straight & narrow path, and her eyes towards heaven. That was until a certain outlaw rode into your life, and taught you sometimes it okay to have a taste of hell with a little bit of heaven.

AN: readers last name is Bennett.

Word count: 1.1k

Here's the link to Part 1 & Part 2

(GIF above made by felixscatton

divider made by saradika

If the devil was Billy, you had to be Job, because he was putting you through hell and back. You finally had a day off from work and farm chores, and he just so happened to knock on the door, wanting a “study session”. “Honey, your friend is here!” Your mother called. You came downstairs, confused, “I’m not expecting company.” You said and then saw which “friend” was at the door: Billy. “Good afternoon Ms. Bennett.” He said, taking his hat off. “And a good afternoon to you as well, Billy. She’ll be out in a minute.” Your mother smiled.

You went to grab your shawl, but your brother Michael, draped it over his head. “Oh, Billy! Kiss me under the shining sun until my face is as blue as your eyes!” He teased, falling dramatically on your bed. “If you don’t shut up.” You shushed, grabbing at the shawl. “Let me ride away with you into the sunset! I love you so much!” He yelled, holding it over your head. John came in, and looked between the two of you, “Are you two done?” He asked, taking the shawl from Mike. “Our sister has a little crush, Johnny, she’s in love, can’t you see?” He said, spinning around him.

You then saw a glint of mischief in John’s eyes. “I hate you both.” You said as you took the shawl back and draped it around your shoulders. You walked down the stairs and gave your mother a kiss on the cheek before you walked out of the house. “Shall we, little Bennett?” He said, following you as you began to walk to the church. “Come on, Billy, I’d rather get this over with.” You said, looking behind you. He smiled, “Don’t mind me, I’m just admiring the view.” He said, looking at your bottom and then back to your eyes.

“You’re only looking at me.” You said, turning back to the church. “I know.” He replied. The rest of the walk was in complete silence until you got into the building. “Well, what did you want to touch on today?” You asked, opening the Bible before looking up at him. “Well since you asked-.” “I meant touching on the word, asshole.” You interrupted, knowing what he was going to say. “Did the pastor’s dove just curse, what would your father say?” Billy teased. “What would he say if he heard what you said,” You replied, “I think you’d have the worst of his rage, not me.” “Billy only chuckled with a grin on his face, “Well, you may be right.”

You chuckled in response, “I know I’m right.” He then sat beside you, “I actually know what I want to talk about for this session.” You looked up and held the page you were on down with your thumb. “Well then, what’s the subject?” You asked. “For today, lady Bennett, temptation.”

You could’ve killed him. You wanted to choke him, but given his attitude, he’d probably like it. His eyes were full of mischief and he had a grin to match it. “Didn’t know the word was even in your vocabulary.” You said in an annoyed tone. “There’s a lot of words in my mind, honey, especially for you.” Billy said, running his hand over your shoulder, making you shy away from him. “I have some for you too.” You responded. “Really?” he asked, his voice suddenly getting deeper as his hand skimmed over yours. “Yeah, the term asshole is in there somewhere.” You snapped, hitting the back of his hand with the Bible.

He only chuckled, letting his hand fall back, “You’re so fun to mess with, little Bennett.” He then looked deep into your eyes before speaking again. “I didn’t follow you here to learn about the Bible today.” He said, moving closer to you. “Then what did you come here for?” You asked, a nervous tone almost peeking through your voice. “You know, you act like you’re so innocent, but I see you, little dove.” Billy chuckled. “You could’ve had the lesson in your own home, but here you are, in the church, alone with me at last.”

You sat completely still, starting to recognize your actions. And you couldn’t deny your thoughts about him, pure and impure. He then took the Bible out of your hands and held it in his. Your heart was starting to beat faster, the feeling of his hands touching yours making your soul soar. “I don’t know if I’m overstepping your boundaries, but I have a feeling you this as much as I do.” He said, getting closer to you, leaning closer to you.

His hand then scaled up your arm and held your cheek in his hand. Billy’s thumb ran over your cheek a couple of times before his eyes drifted to your lips, and then to your necklace, the one holding your purity band. “I know you wanna be so pure, but even the saints had their sins, honey.” Billy whispered, his face inching closer to you. “Why deprive yourself of something you want and wants you in return?” He asked.

You couldn’t find an answer, the urge to argue now gone. His hand felt so warm against your cheek, putting you in his trance. The offer was in front of you, now all you had to do was take it. Billy was staying still, giving you a chance to turn him down, tell him off, curse him out, and leave. He was probably waiting on it from the look in his eyes. They were going in between your eyes and your face before locking in with your stare. In response, your eyes fell to his lips before looking into his eyes, your mind made up.

Your brothers got to do what they pleased, it was your turn.

One moment your shawl fell down your arms, the next your lips met Billy’s for a kiss. His hand brought your face to his and yours found the back of his head as your eyes closed. The rush of the moment along with the setting of the place made it more thrilling to you. Here you were, your father’s “perfect daughter” giving her first kiss to a criminal. His hand left your chin and found your waist, pulling you in closer by your hip. Your fingers began to run through his hair, making Billy let out a low groan in response.

One of his hands found the back of your neck as your lips moved against each others, and then grabbed onto your necklace. Billy pulled on it, forcing your head forward and a short gasp from your mouth. You finally pulled back for air, cracking your eyes open. You looked at his amused expression and a smile found its way upon your face, “Holy shit.” Billy let out a short laugh and threw his head back, “Well, temptation ain’t so bad after all, is it darling?” He asked, you shaking your head “no” in response.

He then tilted your head towards him and kissed your forehead. “You’re mine now, Bennett,” Billy whispered, “ ‘can’t wait to show ya what you’ve been missing.”

Let me know what you think!

[ebaylee422]

Landside

Billy X GF!Reader

Authors Note: We want a scared Dad Billy? Yeah we’re gonna get one.

AU Summary - This is if Billy didn’t ‘actually' die during Season 3. He’s been with the group for a year, even aiding them against Vecna Season 4. Everyone who fell victim to Vecna was trapped in the Upside Down, including but not limited to Barb, Billy (ofc), Bob, Chrissy, Eddie, Jason, etc You get the idea. They all still bear the weight of what happened to all of them. It’s like they were raised from the dead if you will. This fic takes place maybe five years later? So 1990-91 ish

Warnings/Tags: Smut, Unplanned pregnancy, family trauma, name-calling between friends. Fixing everything and any death post season 4, lots of Steddie and Ronance, Talk of body issues, pregnancy fears, fear of not being good enough, Physical violence in the form of threats or thrown objects.

Word Count: 7.8k

I come up from doing a few laps in the pool, stepping up the stairs. Billy walked towards me with a towel in hand.

“Looking good out there Ms. Y/L/N.” I smirk, taking the towel from his hands, dabbing at the water on my face and hairline.

“Thank you,”

“Perfect form, and that suit is marvelous.” he winks.

“Well your form is marvelous,” I say making him blush, “I mean, you are a great teacher, teaching lessons to the kids-”

“You know, I could uh. I could teach you if you like?”

“Oh?”

“Yes, well, I know all the styles.” he looked me up and down, opening a piece of gum. Setting his free hand to follow the strap of the bikini dangerously close to cupping my breast. “Free style, um Butterfly, and Breast stroke.” I watch him breach his soft lips slipping the gum into his mouth, accidentally dropping the towel in my hands.

“Oops.” I bend over, picking up the towel slowly. So he can see the arch of my back and the space between my bathing suit and breasts. “I didn’t know you offered adult lessons.”

“Well you know, I offer advanced lessons to a select clientele. Come to think of it, there's a good pool out at uh, Motel 6 on Cornwallis. Very quiet, you know, very private. Should we say tonight, 8 o’clock.”

“Wouldn’t this be the 4th time this week Mr. Hargrove? I don’t think there’s anything left to teach me.” I brush my hands on his chest toying with the whistle around his neck.

“Oh you see that’s where you're wrong I think there are plenty of things left to do. I just don’t think I’ve pushed you hard enough.” leaning into the tease, brushing up my arm leaving goosebumps even in the damp heat of summer.

“Well I need to-”

“It will be the workout of your life.” he cut me off,

“I will need your help deciding what to wear, you have such impeccable taste.” I ran my hand down my side over the hem of the swim bottoms, knowing it drove him crazy looking at the light trail of hair disappearing into my swim bottoms along my pelvis.

“A tease you are,” he pulls my waist to him, kissing me deeply for everyone at the pool to see how taken we are with each other. My fingertips dip into his waistband, distracting him while my tongue dips into his mouth, snatching the gum and pulling back quickly. "Oh a thief too, I see your game." I blow a bubble, smacking the gum and twisting out of his arms to hold his hands.

“Gotta hit the showers, California, perhaps a rain check? I’ll find you before I leave!” winking and popping the gum one last time, skipping to cool off from the hot sun in the women's locker room. 

Grabbing a fresh towel and some soap from my locker I pull the curtain taut. Letting the water run over my suit, unsticking it with all the chlorine and sunscreen. Hanging it on the hook, tying my hair up and washing my body. Just when there’s suds' coating my eyes I hear someone pull the curtain open,

“This one’s taken!” I hide my body against the wall, trying to wash out the soap when the curtain closes again. Getting frustrated I vigorously put water in my eyes, hearing wet steps. A hand covers my mouth so I can’t scream, turning me around quickly to the haughty chuckle. Billy stands smiling wildly, “What do you think you're doing!” I smack at his chest, he shushes my protest, kissing down my throat creating a bee-line to my chest. Instinctively I hook my arms around his neck, looking down to see he’s also completely naked. “You're supposed to be working, go away.” I hum as he kisses the tops of my breasts.

“But your breasts are so amazing and all soapy. God, have they gotten bigger? My girls, all pretty and sensitive.” he whines on my neck, “and I know you didn’t just buy a suit I wanted, tease me with it. Not wanting me to fuck you, oh not my doll! What have you done with her?!” I laugh as he shakes me, hands on the middle of my spine.

“Okay well then it worked better than I thought, I guess actions speak louder-” he was hammering the spot on my neck that gives my stomach butterflies, “Billy-” I whine.

“Yes? Anything for you.” he looked up, with those gorgeous blue eyes pupils of black onyx swallowing the ocean with lust.

“B, I don’t feel too good...” I pout,

“Well then, let me make you feel so much better, huh? Let Billy take care of you. I'll make you feel better, and damn you smell so good, Indiana.” He doesn’t push my limits by forcing himself on me, just showering me with love in his way of physical contact.

"Billy-..."

"What hurts baby?"

"My back, and I'm nauseous." I hold onto him, playing with his St. Christopher’s necklace under the cool water.

"Well I could blow your back out for ya and buy you dinner afterwards. A nice corn dog and push pop from concessions?"

"You're not helping. You corn dog."

"Correction, it's horn dog." He blows a raspberry along my neck, correcting me.

“Billy! Someone will hear us!” I laugh, running my hand through his wet locks.

“Nope paid that one kid five bucks to scare anyone off, think his name is Ben. Maybe Benson?”

“There’s a teenager outside the woman’s shower room scaring people away so you can fuck me?”

“No, I locked the door and put one of the shower chairs under the handle!”

“Hmm, might take me a little more convincing.” I tease, pushing his shoulders down for him to kneel in front of me. He winks holding onto the backs of my thighs.

“God damn, doll.” He nuzzles his nose along the seam of my cunt, lifting one of my legs to hook over his shoulder. “So fucking wet f’ me, huh?”

“Yes...” I moan when he licks a trail from my entrance to my clit sucking the button into his mouth to roll it over his tongue. He looks up at me as two of his fingers split my folds curling them inside me.

“Shit Billy, ‘M close.” I pant holding the back of his head as he licks my cunt like his favorite ice cream flavor. He pulls off suddenly standing, retreating his fingers from my cunt to circle my clit.

“Want to feel you cum on my cock, doll. Get me there.” He commands, thrusting his swollen and leaky cock against my thigh. I grasp him, rolling in matching circles with my thumb along the tip.

My head thumps the tile wall and we giggle at the noise.

“You okay?” He holds me cheek in his free hand then threading his fingers into my soaked hair.

“Yeah, want you.” I whisper, kissing his lips with bruising passion. He takes himself from my hand lining up with my entrance. Holding my other leg against his hip now so I’m spread open for him. He puts my hand between our bodies above my clit,

“Rub your clit for me, not gonna last long in your pretty pussy.” I whimper at the thought, he kisses me deeply as he pushes inside. My walls have to re-stretch around his girth every time. My free hand accidentally scratches along his back as he pounds into me. He pants into my mouth as he picks up speed, I squeeze around him cumming with a soft cry of his name. That sends him over the edge. I can feel the first wave of his hot load as he pushes himself deeper inside. 

Billy drops my leg, rubbing at my hip and holding me upright as we come down from our high. He kisses along my collarbone as he reaches for my body wash. We spend a few minutes in peaceful post orgasm, treasuring each other’s bodies before he speaks.

“Feel better, doll?” Billy whispers like an unspoken confession.

“A little, thank you honey.” I turn off the water after we clean ourselves off, he dries off by shaking out his hair like a dog. Pelting me with water droplets in the process.

“What?” He acts innocent as I dry my arms and legs, “I’m going back to the pool anyway.” He hands me a towel allowing me to dress moderately dry. Giving up his water after his guided workout, I take one sip before being hauled over his shoulder.

“Billy!” I yell as he grabs my bag from the hook, moving the chair from the door.

“What? I promised my girl some dinner!” He smacks my ass when he walks down the hall to concessions.

“Billy put me down, I’m too heavy!” I groan, getting nauseous from the pressure on my abdomen. He sets me down on the counter cutting the line completely, getting one of his close friends Heather’s attention in the process. 

“Horseshit, you’re fucking light if anything and beautiful no matter what. You could turn green and I’d still do ya.” Heather and I audibly cringe at him.

“Regular for both of you?” she asks leaning over the counter

“Yeah, three corn dogs and a large coke with-”

“With mustard I know!” She goes to the single fryer, dropping them in.

“Have you tipped her today?” I ask him, pinching his waist.

“Ow, hey we both work here. I might as well give her some of my paycheck with the amount of food we trade.”

“Trade?” I raise my eyebrow in disbelief “Billy it is your responsibility as the straight white man to empower the women in your life. Be better.”

“Yeah ass-wipe, be a good civil servant and pay me.” Heather leans over handing me a paper cup of Coke with a straw.

“Stuff it dyke.” I gasp smacking him in the chest, “Ow!”

“Bite me lunkhead.” She fires back at him, they flip each other off like children.

“You two are terrible to each other.” I groan, sliding off the counter when she sets the bag down next to us.

“Hey Y/N, are you coming to the tailgate tonight with everyone?” She asks, tearing a twister with her teeth.

“Um, I don’t know yet. We’ll call you tonight if we can’t make it. Right Bills?” I look at him looking for a way out of it.

“No babe we gotta. We’re hosting the after party at our place with everyone. So I can keep an eye on Max.”

“Don’t go all psycho big brother on her, she’s in high school Billy.” They start to argue about what they were exposed to at young ages and with Max’s condition Billy argues she could be taken advantage of. I feel dizzy as they argue, leaning onto Billy’s shoulder for support.

“You can’t say shit because you are an only child, huh?” Billy pulls me closer by my waist, trying to have me side with him. “Doll, you okay?”

“Huh? Just got really sleepy, I think I should nap and pick up the apartment before we have a bunch of our friends and family over.” I kiss his cheek, “I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah of course, you want me to walk you to the car?” Billy asks worriedly, pressing a kiss to my temple and hugging me tightly goodbye.

“No it’s okay, have a good shift guys. I’ll see you tonight!” I wave leaving the food and cola with Billy. I drive home quickly and pass out on the couch immediately blaming it on the Hawkins heatwave.

I woke up a couple hours later to dishes clanking together and whispered song lyrics. Stretching my aching muscles, I stand seeing a blanket thrown over my lap. Smiling, I walk into our kitchenette to see Billy with his Walkman on full blast, before he can see me. My stomach gurgles and I race to the bathroom, throwing up an empty stomach of Water and Cola. I sit on the floor for a moment dizzy, dry heaving a few times. Noticing I’d knocked over a box of tampons that were unopened. My heart drops as I try to piece together when I’d had my last period.

“Shit...” I scramble off the bathroom floor going into the bedroom with my purse with my planner and address book. By the book it could’ve been anywhere from 7 to 9 weeks ago. It’s not like Billy and I’s sex life isn’t consistent, and birth control wasn’t something I could feel good about. We agreed to use condoms and suffer any consequences if that happened. Last time this happened was in Highschool, Billy took me to the clinic and they gave me something called Danazol or something like that. Everything turned out okay then, but we were older now this really had consequences now if I was truly pregnant.

“Y/N? Where are you at doll?” Billy yells down the hallway, dragging his feet and hitting his hip on the hall table like always. I look at myself in my vanity mirror and quickly wipe my eyes clean. Running into the closet before he steps inside the room. 

“Picking out my outfit for tonight!” I answer back, clearing my throat.

“Oh yeah?” Billy comes around the corner, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Does that mean my girl is gonna give me a little show?” He chuckles.

“Unless you wanna be late to the tailgate? Not again, hot stuff.” I turn out of his arms, looking in our shared dresser for pants.

“Ooo you should wear those black Levi’s your butt looks good in.” He thinks, always having the more trendy style out of the two of us.

“Okay what shirt? I don't want to get too hot.” I add taking the high waisted Levi’s out, with a tired huff.

“I’d say none because you’re already smoking-” Billy teases

“Billy please, you are the one who got me into this mess. Please help me.”

“Okay, I’m sorry for finding you the best thing in my life so violently attractive.” He pleads and pouts “Forgive me, and definitely that solid red crop you wear to the bars.”

“I wear that to show off my boobs and get us free drinks.”

“Exactly, you look great in it.” I scoff, grabbing the clothes and some fresh under clothes.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked him from the bathroom, happy he didn’t look too closely at my facial expressions. Billy has a way with prying things out of people, part of the endless Casanova charm.

“Hell yeah got and eight pack and Munson and that other tall dude are bringing the dobie. We are all set.” He goes on about the plans tonight as I get ready in the bathroom. Looking under the sink after I change my clothes I look for a spare test. Always having some cheap ones lying around for myself or friends. Hitting a particular box with my hand I take it out and go to pee. Setting it on the counter while adding a hint of makeup and volume to my hair.

“Almost ready, Bills.” I call out, waiting longer than three minutes. I close my eyes and flip over the test on the counter. Taking a deep steadying breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. My neck sweats as I slowly open my eyes, looking down. I gasp, loud enough it worries Billy.

“Babe?”

“Sorry accidentally stabbed my eye with the mascara wand!” I say the first thing that comes to mind, cringing as I hold my hand over my mouth.

“Okay we let's get going Indiana, we can’t keep my fans waiting.” He laughs, starting to open the bathroom door. I scramble throwing the test into the medicine cabinet and shutting the mirror.

“Yeah, let’s go!” Billy dips in for a kiss,

“You look beautiful.”

“I look like a sl-”

“No, do you like it?” He asks honestly, I nod my head. He’s matched with cut offs and a Def Leppard muscle tee. “Then you're perfect. Grab your purse doll. I’ll go start the car.”

I smile sighing in relief, wrapping the test in toilet paper and burying it in the trash. Locking the door behind us, Billy already has his new muscle car running. A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z in his signature blue color. The drive to the large run down lot where Star Court had burned down. Gives you shivers thinking about when I lost him for nearly a whole year. He has a hand on my thigh as he pulls up next to Steve’s burgundy BMW. Robin and Nancy immediately separate us, taking me away to get each of us a drink.

“Girls, Jesus hang on a second!” I laugh barely able to get my seat belt off before I’m dragged to Argyle’s Van. 

“Hey there pretty ladies Johnny boy has the drinkies in the front seats.” He says as him and Jonathan’s head hang off the side of the out back doors. They are already toasted.

“Got any Coke?” I ask

“Which kind?” I hear a scruffy voice behind me, turning to see Eddie. I hug him tightly,

“Eddie!” I shriek, swallowing down tears in my eyes as Steve stands awkwardly next to him. I pull him into my next hug “Stevie! When did you morons get home?”

“Couple hours ago, Eddie just sold a few songs to a up and coming band in Texas?”

“Yeah, Pantera? Plus another to Warrant again, they should release their new album sometime this fall.” Eddie confirms a little smug,

“Wow good for you, babes.” I smack Eddie’s bare shoulder, feeling someone’s hands wrap around my waist and sniff my hair obnoxiously. “Billy...” I squirm feeling cold beverages in his hands.

“Hello gentlemen, see you’ve reunited with my lover.” His breath reeks of cheap beer already making my stomach turn upside-down.

“Sure have, wanna bum me a smoke like old times?” Eddie shakes Billy’s hand, Steve and Billy share a nod, still not fully healing their relationship quite yet.

“Go hang out with the guys, the girls and I are gonna mingle with some distant friends.” I encourage him, he gives me the ice cold coke he got for me before heading off with them.

“Okay Y/N,” Robin slurs a little, holding onto Nancy’s hand “now I wouldn’t say I’m an expert on breasts more a connoisseur.”

“Because you like judging people” Nancy laughs,

“Shush, baby. We’re all friends here but babes what are you doing differently? You look so hot, right now!” Robin holds her hands out like she’s trying to convince Nancy and I.

“Just a-” I freeze watching Nancy’s eyes narrow, like she does when she is trying to solve a puzzle. Damn Nancy Drew acting Wheeler.

“Just... What?” Robin asks a little loud, we both shush her.

“I’m late.”

“Late?” Robin looks at her girlfriend quizzically,

“How late?” Nancy’s eyes nearly burst out of her skull, Robin nods along with her eyes squinted.

“The positive kind.” You try to hint to both of them, Robin now bobbing along to the music as she drinks from her solo cup.

“Shit, does Billy know?”

“I took the test before we left, I don’t know what to do.”

“Does he want kids?”

“Yes, no? Shit maybe? We’re just in a really good place right now so I’m nervous.” I shrug, and Nancy hugs me. Robin turns around randomly and then runs towards Steve as he goes to get another beer.

“Everything will be okay, we’re here for you.” She takes my arm and we walk around mingling and chasing Robin away from the trunks with beer pong set up on them after she talks to Steve. 

He walks back over to the guys, Billy is catching up with Heather when Steve whispers something into Eddie’s ear.

“Yeah right, I’m gonna school your ass when we get to my place.” Billy yells at Heather as she walks towards you and the other girls. 

Steve clears his throat, Eddie looks at him oddly. Steve nods towards Billy, Eddie’s brows furrow as he sighs.

“Hey, Billy you're okay with Y/N dressing like that?” Eddie lowly wolf whistles, at the sight of her. Steve knocks on his head with his beer bottle.

“Um hello? I’m right here.” Steve rolls his eyes, Eddie knocks his shoulder, spilling his beer a little on his shirt. Billy laughs when Steve glares back, taking a long drag of his smoke and blowing it in the opposite direction of his friends.

“I picked out her outfit, I know how to fight. Y/N can wear whatever she wants.” Billy says, simply through his exhale.

“Okay man but... Stevie over here did win in ‘84. Just saying.” Eddie says critically, through his teeth, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Hey fuck off Scarface.” Billy scoffs as Steve interjects, wrapping an arm around his very not sober boyfriend's waist.

“Look Hargrove, Eds is just saying Y/N/N has filled out a bit this summer and is getting a little unwarranted attention.” Steve points the neck of his beer bottle to the ex-basketball team, all a bunch of high school rejects still living in their parents basement as they get fatter and older.

“Oh come on, they’re too scared of me to mess with my girl. I came back from the dead remember?” Billy wiggles his spare fingers while oooing and ahhing like a ghost. Eddie laughs at that, knocking their beers together while Steve’s headaches at the idiocracy.

The sun sets and a majority of the adults who have to work in the morning leave. While a majority of the high schoolers stay together drinking the now warm beer, most of our group also sticking close together about starting college or jobs in the fall. Billy and I reunited shortly after to head over to the apartment first, Lucas and Max sat in the back seat of the car as I drove, being the only sober one.

“I totally could’ve driven, I only had a few beers.”

“And smoked a joint with the guys.” I add turning down the music,

“What can't I bond with my little sister's boyfriend?”

“I had one puff, I doubt I’ll even feel anything.”

“One puff was enough, you already drank tonight Lucas.” Max says kindly, 

“Pfft you girls worry too much, right Sinclair?” Billy holds out his fist for Lucas to bump it. He laughs a little too hard when Billy tries to yank him forward.

“Don’t gang up on the only two women that enjoy your company.” Max scoffs at her brother.

“Whatever, you're up for some ball tomorrow Sinclair?”

“He can’t-” She’s cut off my Lucas explaining their plans

“Sorry Billy, it’s Max and I’s anniversary. We’re staying in Indianapolis for the night.”

“Aw how cute, please take pictures.” You fawn over them, you know exactly what Lucas has been through. That pain of losing your first love, knowing at a young age it was your last. Taking this second chance for all it’s worth every moment no matter how insignificant it is to others, is precious.  

“Better wear protection Sinclair, or I’ll have to kick your ass for knocking up my sister.”

“Billy!” Max punches him hard in the shoulder.

“What Billy means is we want you to be smart about your choices, but we can’t tell you what to do anymore-” 

“Just want what’s best for you, you’re good kids. We don’t need more children running around right now, we’re all still kids.” Billy cuts you off, 

“Um, Y/N are you on birth control?” Lucas asks politely, We’d agreed when Lucas and Max got serious their junior year they could ask me and Billy anything. I didn’t want them to feel odd for their feelings or idiots for the things that aren’t taught.

“I didn't enjoy it, I use a diaphragm sometimes which is like a cup that prevents the sperm from going up into the cervix. Yet we mainly use condoms because the latter makes us both uncomfortable.” I put simply, shrugging. I look in the back mirror. Lucas is leaning his head on Max’s shoulder as she plays with his shirt cuff.

“It feels like your jamming your penis into plastic Tupperware surrounded by warm-”

“EW! Ew stop Billy.” Max covers her ears and starts singing to the radio. I turn it up for her, we pull up to our assigned parking. Others start filling up the parking lot shortly after making a b-line straight to Billy and I’s apartment. 

“No, we had to pull off to the side of the road because we were lost, and exhausted!” Billy exasperates, 

“If Billy didn’t finally just pull over, I probably would've strangled him over the armrest.” I add to the story of Billy’s and I’s recent across-country road trip to California.

“So what happened after you figured out where you were?” Will asks

“Not exactly we-”

“We were in the backseat when a Sheriff drove by. We couldn’t even get our pants you all the way before he knocked on the window.” Billy laughs, Eddie and Argyle join him.

“I pulled down my dress while Billy collected himself enough to ask the man, old enough to be my grandfather for directions.” I rolled my eyes, leaning against Billy. He wrapped his arm around me as he finished the story.

“He handed me a handkerchief and slapped me on the back because her lipstick was smeared on my neck.” He pointed right under his jaw,

“Yeah I’m the slut and he was the stud.” I scoff,

“It’s okay baby. He probably keeled over jerking it to the image of you in that sundress when he got home that night.”

“Ew.” I cringe, “Want another babe?” I ask taking his empty beer can away.

“No, I'm good doll.”

“Hey did you hear Carol Perkins and Tommy H. are expecting?” Steve nods, sharing to Billy and I, I stiffen in Billy’s arms thankfully his too tipsy to notice.

“Yeah no shit, I never really gave a shit about them after graduation. They were the kind of people you know in school and then end it. Figures they are one of the firsts to get knocked up.” Billy continues to blabber about how he doesn’t think anyone should have kids until they’re married or at least financially stable among other things. In front of all our friends, who Buckley has told everyone closest to Billy and I. 

My stomach turns as I make eye contact with Steve. Him and Billy did work things out, my friendship with Steve and Steve’s serious partnership with Billy’s closet friend Eddie made a huge difference.  

“I’ll be back..” I walk down the hallway past my spare bedroom where Robin is passed out as Elle and Max read a Cosmo next to her. I go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet trying to collect myself. There’s a knock and a call of my name. “Almost done.” I call out,

“It’s just me doll, are you okay?” Billy talks quietly, I open the door and he swoops me into his arms, “What’s going on? You’ve been weird all night.”

“I’m sorry.” I mumble in his shoulder

“Don’t apologize, I know you haven’t been feeling good lately. Maybe we should make an appointment or something?”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” He kisses me once, then twice.

“Do you want kids?”

“Is that why your acting strange, because of the pressure of having babies outta high school?”

“You didn’t answer my question...” I whisper looking at the ground trying to will tears out of my eyes

“No, I don’t think I do. My Dad was a shitty father to say the least, he thought having me would save his marriage but the abuse he gave to my mom only got worse afterwards. That’s too much responsibility.” He answers so assured and honest it breaks my heart. 

Maybe a dog, someday but fuck kids. We’d be great Aunt ‘n Uncle to Max’s kids and anyone else who decides to baby-make.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Why do you ask?” Billy asks nervous

“I heard about Carol at the grocery store and wasn’t sure how’d you react.”

“Oh Y/N I don’t give a crap about them. Not when I have you guys.”

“Hey, I think I’m going to say goodnight to everyone and lay down early.”

“Yeah? I can end the party if you need.”

“No, no. I can sleep through anything.”

“Okay doll, whatever you need.”

I go back out into the living room and slowly say goodnight to everyone, Steve, my best friend next to Billy, hugs me a little longer and a little tighter. 

“Good night, honey. We’re here for you.”

“Yeah, always Y/N.”

“Thanks guys, love you.” I blow Eddie and Steve a kiss, Eddie dramatically falls backwards and Steve catches it to place over his heart.

Everyone else bids me goodnight as well, I run into Nancy and she’s waking a very grumpy very sleepy Robin.

“You leaving?” I ask her, Robin is practically curled around Nancy’s small frame leaning on her for support.

“Yeah Robs doesn’t feel good obviously.” Nancy shakes her head, placing a kiss on her partner's cheek.

“I’m never drinking again...” Robin groans

“Get home safe girls, call the house when you get there?” I hug both of them,

“Mike is driving us home since he’s sober, we’ll be okay.” She assures me, small towns were definitely non-conforming but we’d heard of other violence acts committed on same-sex couples in the bigger cities. No one ever deserved that.

Call me, if you need anything. We’re here for you too.” Nancy adds, saying goodbye to everyone as her, Robin and Mike leave.

I go into my bedroom and close the door, putting on my pajamas and removing my makeup. My stomach turns but I go to sleep anyway, a couple hours later I feel the bed dip and a warm arm wrap around my waist. It disappears a few hours later as Billy gets ready for work. Like always, I slowly wake up before he leaves, giving him a goodbye kiss. When he’s out the door, I race to the bathroom and puke my guts out. It’s like that enough of the morning I call out of work. Laying sadly in bed most of the day, until just before Billy gets home around 6. I wash my face and take another test, once again it’s overwhelmingly showing positive. I took this one and the other I hid in the trash last night and put them in my pocket. I conjured a plan on how to tell him, Billy Hargrove. My Billy, he comes home as I’m finishing the only dinner that sounded and smelled appetizing.

“Hey Indiana! I’m home.”

“Hi California.” I call back from the kitchen, plating the chicken and pesto for two. Well three...

How was work?” He kisses me on the cheek, smelling of coconut sunscreen and chlorine.

“It was okay, I had lots of lessons today. The boss is having me take a course on training babies how to swim. Guess it’s in high demand, and extremely important. Almost 45% if not more babies from birth to age four.” He tells me wide eyed, helping me bring the plates to the table as I grab him and beer and the ginger ale I’d been nursing for a couple of hours.

“That’s horrible.”

“Yeah but it means they’re moving me to nearly full-time since those lessons are more important than just the summer. I start working at the Hawkins Rec Center in a few weeks.” He says with a smile hidden by pesto

“Wait, you got a promotion?!”

“Yep, don’t have to go back to the shop this year. I can just teach lessons and couch at the high school.”

“Billy, that's amazing!” I reach out and take his hand,

“I can’t wait, but I’m a little nervous about teaching kiddos so young.”

“You're great with kids Billy.”

“I wasn’t-”

“You’ve changed, you and Max had a lot of unresolved issues. Things have gotten a lot better the past couple years. For christ’s sake she is here for dinner at least once a week if not more. Not even Susan can say she sees her daughter as much.”

“Thanks, how was your day?” He kisses the top of my hand all suave and romantic,

“Haven’t been feeling to good but I think I’ll get better in a couple months...”

“You go to the doctor?”

“No, I took a test yesterday and today.” I swallow the bile rising in my stomach

“If you didn’t go to the doctors-” I cut Billy off, running to the bathroom and clutching the toilet bowl. He follows, then helps by holding my hair and rubbing my back. “We should go to the ER, you didn’t even drink yesterday.”

“It’s okay-”

“No the hell it’s not Y/N! You’re throwing you guts up and you’ve-”

“Billy...” I hold out my hand for him to help me up, flushing the toilet before washing my hands. Tears fall down my cheeks,

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell...”

“It’s not that.” I strain to find the two words, hiding my face in my hands.

“What’s going on?”

“Promise we can talk about this?” I turn to him dizzy, I take his hand in mine and go to sit down on our bed.

“We can talk about anything, Y/N.” He pushes my hair out of my face. I reach into my sweatshirt pocket and turn over the pregnancy tests. Tears continue to cascade down my cheeks as Billy freezes his expression is unreadable. He swallows hard taking the tests.

“I’m pregnant.” I tell him wetly, wiping away tears so I can see him better. He stands, throwing the tests down the hall with a clatter. Hard enough I jump at the sudden action. Hands running through his hair, irritation now bursting through the seams.

“What?” He scoffs

“I’m pregnant, Billy.”

“Fuck, Y/N.” He paces the foot of the bed, working himself up “How long? How long did you keep this shit from me?”

“I-I found out last night.” I explained standing close to him.

“Yeah? Is that why you’ve been all weird and shit around me? You were hiding this?”

“Nooo, no Billy. Please.” I try and reach for him,

“Don’t ‘No, Billy’ me. Is this why you don’t want to go on birth control? Just trying to trap me?” His voice gets elevated as the questions continue, he pushes off my hand like he’s been scolded with hot water.

“No, I love you.” I cry, holding onto myself

“Do you? You know I don’t want kids, Y/N!” He gets in my face words booming through the house and my ears and I gasp. “What the fuck?” He storms out the room, hearing him knock into the table in the hall with a groan before there’s a crash and bang. I run out, he’s thrown it across the hallway creating a dent in the drywall and breaking the legs of anything that was on top flung or stepped on.

“Please don’t push me away!” I raise my voice, trying to walk over the mess in my bare feet.

“Did you even think, to consider how I felt?”

“I am trying to understand but you're yelling and throwing things around. Are you blaming me for this?”

“You’ve got some nerve, it takes two Y/N. You won’t make me do shit, now move.” I find him in the living room collecting his wallet and keys.

“Billy, please-” I beg him standing in front of the door, he moves me aside with a strong hand.

“No, I’m leaving. I can’t do this, this is the one thing.”  He spits at me, fire exploding behind his eyes. 

“If you leave, I’ll never forgive you!” I call to him, my voice raw and overwhelmed with emotion.

My mind begging and pleading for him to shut the door and engulf me in his arms. Tell me everything will be okay, that he loves me and we’ll get through this.

“It’s too much.” He fums, the door slams shut behind him, shaking a picture off the wall. 

I hobble over to it, defeated, it’s one from the California trip. Billy had given the camera he borrowed from Jonathan to an older surfer to take a photo of us at the beach in our wetsuits. My hair is tied back, smiling at the camera with a teeth filled grin. While Billy looks at me and smiles, eyes dopey with exhaustion but something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Joy. The glass from the frame has shattered and scratched it, splitting the two of us by our hands. I hold it close as I dial the only people I can trust,

“Yello, Munsington household or Harrinuson if you like that better.” Eddie answers the phone, with his infectious bravoto.

“Hi Eds.” I sob out in relief.

“Y/N, honey. What’s-” His voice deepens immediately in concern,

“I-I told him, he left. He left me.” I weep into the receiver, trying to collect my thoughts.

“Okay, hey do me a favor unlock the door and turn on the TV? Distract yourself while Steve and I get there.” Eddie tells me calmly, ‘What’s going on?’ I hear Steve interrupts.

“Okay. I’ll try, I’m so sick Eddie.”

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” Eddie asks, ‘Is that Y/N/N?’ Steve interrogates still faint on the line.

“No, I’m just puking.”

“Is there blood or anything strange about it?”

“No...” I cry louder

“Hey-hey,” Eddie gets my attention again, “that’s good. Remember what I said, Steve and I are getting in the car right after I hang up.”

“Okay Eds.”

“We’ll be there soon, Sweet Girl.” Steve takes the phone from Eddie who barks ‘Steve where are my keys?!’ 

Hang tight, I’ll be right there. Everything's gonna be fine.” Steve assures both of us.

“Yeah...”

“We’re on our way.” Steve hangs up the phone, staring at his metal head boyfriend with a single shoe on untied and the other in his hands as he tears up the entire living room looking for his keys.

“Eds?” Steve stands by the landline hands on his hips.

“Hold on Steve, I gotta find my keys!” Eddie holds out his shoe pointing it at his boyfriend as he moves to the kitchen table.

“Eddie.” He scolds in a boisterous manner enough to make Eddie look at him

“What?!” Eddie yells, looking at his boyfriend to find him jiggling Eddie’s car keys in his hand,

“Get in the van-.” He motions him to the door,

“Why’d you let me tear up the apartment?”

“It was kinda funny, give me a reason to make you help me clean it when we get home.” Steve throws the keys to Eddie going to the passenger side.

“I haven’t even put my shoes on.”

“I doubt your shoes will have any impact on us kicking Billy’s ass.”

I hear a single knock at the door before a flurry of dark curls and onyx eyes enters the apartment, behind him a tanned honey colored pompadour with equally syrup eyes enters. I suck in a breath, watching them look around. Steve goes to where I’m crouched in the living room, cleaning up the glass from the picture frame. He immediately engulfs me in his arms, not saying a word as I squeeze him a little too tight.

“Hey, shhh. I’m here, Sweet Girl. I got you.” He holds me tight, his caress of my hair like an affirmation he’s molding to my skin with each rub.

“Shit Steve where is she, he tore up the hallway-” Eddie walks with untied shoes to Steve practically hoisting me in his lap as I cry, he holds one of the positive tests.

Hey, Y/N...” Eddie accidentally steps in the pile of glass swept together, he finishes the job with a broom and dustpan. My breathing steadies a bit more with them here, I’m not alone.

“I'm sorry, I don’t have anyone else to call.” 

“Hey now, none of that. Don’t apologize, you’d do the same thing if Eddie knocked me up.” I chuckle at Steve pinching his bicep, feeling relieved by the minute.

“You’d make a great mom.” I breathe deep trying to make the joke back,

“So are you.” Steve kisses my temple, swaying us in the living room. His words sink deep as I hide my wet cheeks and snotty-nose into his shoulder. 

“Um, I don't know if you want your pee stick but I found it in the entryway.” Eddie sits criss-crossed in front of us, setting the test down like an offering in front of me. Taking a minute to finally tie his shoes, as if he hasn't tripped a billion times since leaving the apartment.

“Gross Eddie, it’s just called a pregnancy test.” Steve chortles straightening out his leg to kick the other in the thigh.

“Ow! You’ve hurt me deeply Stevie, I twas trying to lighten the mood. Also that pasta is the freaking bomb.” He swats Steve’s foot away when he nudges him again. Noticing a change in mood again, instead of sadness it’s anger.

“It made me sick, that’s how the conversation started...” I mumble against Steve,

“Wait am I going to get sick from eating some?” Eddie asks alarmed

“No stupid she’s having morning sickness, keep up.” He squints at his boyfriend as if to say ‘read the room’.

“Are you PMS-ing babe? You’ve been awfully mean-” The metal head pouts,

“Shush this is about Y/N.” The King with no crown points his finger angry,

“No, I love it when you two bicker like you’ve been married for 50 years.” 

“One day with this one is a whole year’s worth of irritation.” Steve sticks out his tongue playfully at Eddie shaking his head.

“I wonder what 5 minutes of pleasure with me is then.” Eddie blows a kiss and wiggles his eyebrows.

“Ew stop being in love in front of my unborn child.” the silence is a pregnant as you are.

“So Robin wasn’t just drunk blabbering last night?” Steve rubs his warm hand along my back,

“Nope.” I pop the ‘p’, the silence overwhelms all of us until Eddie gets uncomfortable enough to speak.

“You don’t have to right this second but, you wanna tell us what’s going on?” He fumblingly asks with a concerned smile. I relay all of what happened tonight along with a few more tidbits.

“Billy hasn’t ever explicitly told me he didn’t want kids. So I wasn't expecting him to be excited and have everything figured out but he just left me.”

“Jesus Christ, you talk to anyone else?” Eddie wipes a hand over his forehead, I shake my head. Steve has been tense since I started talking about what Billy said.

“He say where he went?” Steve asks with deathly calm, I shake my head twirling the test in my hands.

“I know where he is, and I’m gonna kill ‘im.” Eddie stands up, taking out his car keys.

“No Eddie!” I whine,

“Munson, where the hell are you going?” Steve stands beside me,

“To talk some sense into this asshole, I love you I’ll be back-” He kisses Steve before running out of the complex.

“Don’t get arrested!” Steve yells out, turning back around to me. “How about you get cleaned up? I’ll clean up out here and we can watch a movie together on the couch like old times.” He offers, holding my arms and massaging my biceps to encourage laughter.

“What about the drywall? And the kitchen-”

“Y/N/N. I’ll call Wayne in the morning, I’m sure he’s got the tools from patching up the trailer. And I’ll clean the kitchen so you don’t get sick again because of the food aversion.”

“You’re stubborn...” I pout, moving over the broken pieces of wall and furniture in the hallway. 

“Nah just enough to not take shit from you and Henderson.” He laughs, picking up the trashed things in the hall as I enter the bathroom. 

Turning on the shower to warm up a few seconds allows the room to fill with steam. The first thing I see in the mirror is me, hazy and weak. Too weak to handle side effects a a little blue pill, to weak to stick up for myself and yell back, too weak to fix things. The mirror fills with steam as quickly as I fill with dread. I start undressing only able to see my body from a upper preview. For weeks I thought I was bloated, stressed out from my job and not working out. The normal protective pudge of my stomach has a small softball size curve that doesn’t move like the rest of me. It’s hard to suck in, and more prominent when I full relax. I don’t feel scared for myself, but scared of what I can offer. Alone, I’m barely able to remember to drink water but always remember to do the dishes before bed to make breakfast easier to have.

Lamenting through my own thoughts, I shake them away. There’s doctors to talk about this kind of thing, that’s what they’re there for. Support groups for mothers who don’t know what to do. The kids have taught me a lot but none of them except Erica were even under ten when we’d first met. When it’s your own child, it’s a whole different ball game. There will still be a team surrounding me even as the opponents team boo’s and hollers. Now it’s a waiting game to see if my pitcher is with me. 

I like to think Billy is a good man, not by any means by himself. Repaired as many relationships as he could, hate who he was before. He thinks before acting but I’d seen that look before, anger is normally a response to a much deeper and complex feeling. Fear, frustration, sadness. He’s been taught his whole life that the answer is to push those other things away, make room for hate, bigotry and self preservation. While I grew up in a different way, in a different world. Built for me to fail, built for me to resent motherhood as the only outcome for my life. The only thing a woman is good at, but doesn’t receive the credit for only the blame and the hard work it takes. To be loved by the things you can create but not the person you are. Billy is just as scared as I am, but I will not be the one to fix this. I will not be alone.

Masterlist

[k-marzolf]

Diet Mountain Dew.

Neighbors to lovers, mechanic!Billy, reader is thirsty, Billy is cocky, kissing, fluff, fem!reader.

1,284 words.

x

It started where you’d come by, and help give him tools, “Here, Mister Russo.” You’d say, sweetly.

And if he said he didn’t imagine you calling him Mister Russo in different circumstances, he’d be lying.

You smiled, pushing up your large glasses, as though you knew, twirling the tools in your hand, and blowing bubbles with your gum, and changing his radio station to country music of all things.

He turned it back to rock, and you popped another bubble. “I was listening to that.”

“I don’t care. My garage, my music.” He said, lifting the hood of the car.

“You’re kind of an asshole, aren’t you?”

“Took you long enough to figure it out.” He smirked over his shoulder.

You rolled your eyes.

One day he was getting ready to leave when you popped your gum, blowing another bubble, waiting for him to take you home in the cold weather. You often popped into your neighbor's work to chat with him, while you waited for him to get off work. His business was near the bookstore where you worked, and he’d drive you home every day so you didn’t have to walk home with your bad knee, especially with winter right around the corner.

He wiped his hand off of the grease on an old cloth, “Need a ride home?”

You smiled softly, “Yes, Mister Russo.” And then popped your gum again.

He grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back. “You pop that gum one more time, we’re gonna have a problem.” He said, baring his teeth.

You blew a bubble, popping it.

The audacity.

He growled, kissing you hard, pushing into your mouth, knocking your glasses askew, and making you gasp. He pulled back, with your gum in his mouth, and spit it out in the trash.

“I wasn’t done chewing.” You said indignant.

“You are now, baby.” He smirked, closing the garage down.

You followed him with your cane, “Asshole.”

Billy watched you apply your chapstick that was root beer flavored while he took a wheel off a car. “That actually work, or does it just taste good?”

You huffed, “It works.” You blotted your lips. “Wanna taste, Mister Russo?” You teased, puckering up.

He held up his can of soda, “I’m good.”

You sighed, “Too bad. I would have given you a kiss for a dollar.” You teased lightly.

“Jesus, in my day it was fifty cents.” He teased back.

“I’m expensive.” You laughed.

Billy huffed, “Clearly.”

You stood in the hall outside your neighbor’s apartment with your cane, knocking on his door. Your leg ached.

He opened it, “Yeah?” He asked admiring you in your sweater dress, the way your hair was done up nice. He wanted to brush it, and play with it.

“My stove won’t work.” You said softly. “Can you come look at it?” You asked, pushing your glasses up, your sweater sleeves too long for your arms, and hung over your hands a little.

“For a dollar.” He grinned, laughing, when you hit arm.

You ate chocolates, while he bent over your stove, looking at it and mumbling to himself.

You admired him in his tight dark jeans and green sweater. You may or may not have found things around your apartment wrong, just so he’d come over. So you wouldn’t have to be alone. Always alone, friends were hard to come by being disabled. You slowed them down.

You were too shy to ask him to have a movie night or something. And sometimes you just wanted to sit and read a book with your feet in his lap, while he read his own book, enjoying each other's company.

And he caught you at it, too. “You want me to come over, baby, I will. Don’t need an excuse to see a pretty girl.”

Your cheeks heated, and he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

You sat there in his work garage watching him work on some old Chevy or something, you were terrible with cars, admiring how his sweater slid up exposing his naval and the little patch of hair there, you twirled a wrench or whatever it was, in your hand itching to touch him.

You pressed your thighs together, as he slid out from underneath the car, hands looking greasy, his sweater pulled up around his elbows. You imagined him staining your thighs with his handprints as he kissed you.

You imagined running your fingers through his soft hair, always slicked back and faded on the sides, before pulling on it while he kissed you, probably tasting like the soda he drank. And then you imagined pulling on his hair for an entirely different reason.

He looked over at you, smirking as he sipped his soda, fingers stained from working on the car. Uh oh. He must have noticed you gawking. He rolled over to you, sitting at your level on the thing he’d rolled under the car with (you were at a loss for the terminology), in his maroon sweater and black jeans.

“Want somethin’, baby?” Billy asked, looking cocky.

“No.” You said, shyly.

“No?” Billy asked, smiling growing. He leaned closer, and you instinctively leaned in too. “Gotta be a good girl and ask for what you want.” He teased you.

“Mister Russo, you’re being an asshole.” You whined, seriously considering whacking him on the head with the wrench-thingy.

He laughed; “I think we both already know I’m an asshole.” He said, booping you on the nose with his dirty fingers.

“Can I have a kiss?” You asked, sweetly. “I helped give you tools all day. Froze my leg off here.” You said, patting your leg.

“For a dollar.” He smirked.

You glared, “Fine, I’ll just kiss Paul down the hall.”

Billy huffed, “You think mama’s boy can kiss you right?” Billy asked, rolling closer.

God, he was being an asshole, but Paul was a mama’s boy. He did nothing without his mother’s help.

“Mister Russo.” You whined, “Don’t you wanna taste the root beer on my lips?”

“C’mere.” Billy hummed, and you leaned into him eagerly. He kissed you this time, making your insides melt, his fingers touching your thighs making you sigh. He gripped them, and yanked you closer, careful of your bad leg.

You gasped into his mouth, tasting Diet Mountain Dew on him. The feel of his tongue sliding against yours had desire licking at your insides.

You pulled on his hair roughly, making him groan into your mouth, and an ache built between your thighs.

He pulled back kissing you once, twice, three times before nudging you with his nose. “You taste real sweet, baby. Better than root beer.” He husked.

And then you looked down to see your legs stained with grease, and oil. You grinned inwardly, that had been your intention all along.

“Sorry, baby.” He said, not sounding sorry at all.

You giggled, “Next time I bake, I’m getting flour all over you.” You threatened.

Billy grinned.

God, you made work go by easily.

Later after he drove you home, you shyly invited him into your apartment, and you both ended up on your couch, you laying back, with him laying between your thighs, chin resting on your stomach while you played with his hair, listening to an audiobook.

He looked like a lazy cat, enjoying petting from his favorite human. His eyes were hooded as he watched you, feeling wanted after a childhood unwanted in the group home.

For the first time, you didn’t feel like a burden, alone with only the characters in your books to keep you company.

You didn’t know what you and Billy were, but you were content to let it unfold.

x

Tags; @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

[carminecandles]

♫⋆｡ I hate myself for loving you ₊ ♪˚

prologue here

chapter one here

desc: punk!f!munson!reader and sub!Steve Harrington are not too fond of each other. However, unspoken tension becomes unbearable when stopping at a motel on a group trip, you both have no choice but to share a bed. Will you two settle your differences or find other ways to make the other shut up?

Chapter 2: like the sun and moon

(tw: toxic dynamics)

Shortly thereafter, you toss and turn in your sleep. Steve sees the look of distress on your face and reaches out, hand hovering over your shoulder, wondering if he should wake you up.

You dream about the upside down again, the memories still haunting you as they still do for all of you guys. Steve watches your body tense and trash, clearly in the grip of a nightmare.

When you yell out he immediately shakes you awake gently, so that the sudden intrusion wouldn’t startle you further. "No, no. You're dreaming, y/n. It's okay," he whispered, grabbing you and pulling you into his arms as soon as you shoot up in horror.

You tremble a little, still too disoriented to realize Steve was holding you tight against him, rubbing your back in attempt to soothe you. Soon you steady your breath, the worry slowly draining out of your body as you realize you're safe, that you all are. As you come back down to reality you pull away from Steve, as if you were suddenly remembering that you're enemies.

Steve feels a little disappointed, an emptiness filling the space where he had just held you. "Are you okay?" he asks softly, his voice low and gentle.

"Yeah…" you reply a bit too harshly to cover up the shakiness in your voice. Steve understands your defensiveness all to well, knowing that vulnerability is terrifying, especially in front of someone you're supposed to hate. He doesn't push you to talk more as you hide behind a wall a toughness.

You drag a hand across your face. Steve's concern eventually gets the better of him and he asks, "Was it the monsters or something?"

You nod slowly, avoiding his gaze. He tries to lighten the mood and says, "Hey, at least I was okay in it, right? I was probably fighting them off and being cool."

The memories of Steve protecting you guys come back, and maybe it did look kind of cool but you'd never give him the satisfaction of admitting it. "Are you forgetting your dumbass keeps getting beat to the point of near death?"

Steve feels irritated at your jab. "It's not my fault the upside down keeps trying to kill me."

"And Billy, and the Russians, and--"

"Okay, enough. Point taken, I guess. I do have a bad habit of getting my ass kicked," he says with a resigned sigh, not wanting you to push it in any further. He's been through it more times than he can probably count, and it never gets any easier.

The shift in conversation offers you relief from the horrors you just relieved, and you chuckle. "It's gonna catch up to you someday, man."

Steve shakes his head in mock annoyance, secretly glad you're back to your teasing self and not the panicked mess you were earlier. He can't help but smile at the sound of your chuckle again. "Oh come on, I always manage to survive. Like a cockroach."

"You kinda look like one too," you say, trying to deny to yourself that you actually found him attractive.

"Excuse me? Are you calling me ugly? Well, you're one to talk. You're not exactly some model yourself," he says, though it's the opposite of how he truly feels.

"At least I can admit that," you retort. Steve might be pretty, but he knows it, damnit. That's what gets on your nerves.

"Hey, I might just be the best-looking guy in Hawkins."

You roll your eyes. "'Cause Billy's dead? It's not like you have other things going for you anyway."

He scoffs. "I do!"

"Name one."

"Well, let's see. I'm pretty good at basketball, I'm a loyal friend, and I'm quite charming if I do say so myself," he says.

"You were a sh*t captain who kept Hawkins from being in the championship or winning for years."

"Not true, I was a great one!" "As for the 'friends,' you make fun of them, jerk. And charming, my ass. You probably repel women."

Steve gives up on trying to defend himself, knowing it's pointless and you'll keep going at your brutal takedown. He secretly knows you're right but it doesn't make it hurt any less to hear it said out loud. That damn smirk, he thinks. Who does she think she is to constantly want to humble me?

"Yeah, yeah, you're a real know-it-all. You always gotta be right, don't you?" he says sarcastically, annoyed by your smugness but also feels a bit of begrudging respect that you never stand down.

"Because I am always right," you say, jokingly.

Steve shakes his head in disbelief at your confidence. "You've got a real ego problem, you know that? You think everyone else are just incompetent idiots." "Not everyone, just you," you say, trying to get under his skin.

"What did I do to deserve your harsh judgment? Other than saving your ass multiple times?"

You knew that it was true, he has saved you, and you him. "So that immediately makes up for everything you did? Besides you were just tryna be a hero and all that, and I can take care of myself you know."

He almost laughs at your stubbornness. "You can take care of yourself, huh? I guess that's why you almost got mauled by those demodogs. You'd be dead right now if it wasn't for me."

"You would be too," you say. Steve won't admit it outright either. You've both saved each other's asses many times before.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're a stubborn, know-it-all who's allergic to admitting you need help sometimes."

You know there's truth to his words deep down. "And you're just a narcissistic wannabe hero who wants to show off and have people cheer for you all the time."

Steve feels a stab of anger. "And you're just a cynic who refuses to see the good in anything, always assuming the worst in people."

"I just see the truth, and I don't think you're all that. You need to be knocked down a few pegs."

"Oh really? And you think you're the one to that, huh?" "But I have been doing that," you say, thinking of how you refused to put up with his bullsh*t and called him out for his attitude since the day you met.

"I'm not just gonna roll over and take it, you know?"

"Obviously why you're insufferable."

A small smirk tugs the corner of his mouth. "Says you. You're just as insufferable, actually more so."

You huff, running out of comebacks. "You can't offend me if I don't care about your opinion anyway."

Steve finds this ridiculous and tries to rile you up further. "If you don't care about my opinion, why are you still here arguing with me at two in the morning?"

"Because you f*cking woke me up!"

"I didn't do it on purpose, you were the one thrashing around and screaming my name in your sleep."

"Not like that, damn it," you joke.

Steve smirks, knowing he pushed the right buttons. "What's the matter? Don’t like being called out on your subconscious love of me?"

"Oh you wish, Harrington," you deny quickly. "That would sure feed your ego, wouldn't it?"

He knows he hit a nerve and continues. "Come on, don't pretend. It's not like it's a secret you've got a little thing for me."

"No, sorry dude but you remain b*tchless and desperate," you say.

"Ha, you're one to talk. You're single too, in case you've forgotten. So we're both b*tchless and desperate."

"Well at least not the desperate part, if I wanted to I can get almost anyone I want." Steve chuckles at your confidence, finding it both obnoxious and attractive. "If you're so irresistible why aren’t you taken, then?"

He had a point, you thought. But you weren't looking to date at the moment. At least that's what you say to yourself. Sure, you have had casual flings lately but… something is holding you back from more. Your feelings lie elsewhere. "Well maybe I'm just not interested in anything serious."

"Figures. You just want to have your fun and move on."

"Hypocrite, much? That's what you used to do."

He remembers his past reputation for going through girls like they're disposable, knowing he can't argue with the accusation since he had his fair share of using girls for fun and moving on when he gets bored. "That's in the past okay? I'm not that guy anymore."

"Well in my eyes you still are just a heartless douche." You couldn't stand his 'King Steve' persona.

Normally Steve wouldn't give two sh*ts what people still thought of him but for some reason your opinion irritated him, and he couldn't understand why it even matters.

"And to me you're a defiant nuisance. You think you're some sort of rebel, with all that anti-conformity feminist blah blah blah."

"Shut up, you're just a mindless former jock that was obsessed with the stupid social hierarchy."

He scoffs. Did you still see him as nothing more than a brainless cog in the machine that is the high school hierarchy? It's  been long since graduation, for crying out loud. "You really think that's all I am? Some mindless jock that only cares about popularity?"

"Well yeah, you were a total d*ck like every other popular kid, and probably still are… you couldn't have changed THAT much even though you pretend," you say, still hesitant to trust him after your guys' past.

Steve feels frustrated that you don’t acknowledge he's changed, that his past actions don't define his entire character. "So I'm still a d*ck even though I went through hell and back saving the world more than once? Risking my life countless times to protect my friends and a town that hates me? You think that counts for nothing?"

You knew he had truly changed, you saw it firsthand. But you just couldn't admit to him now when you're put on the defensive. "Town that hates you? Pfft. Please, your little daddy's rich and respected, you spoiled boy."

That mention of his dad feels like a punch in the gut. "You're gonna bring him into this now? You think having a rich dad makes everything easier? You know nothing."

"I'm the town freak here. A f*cking Munson, and thanks to my cousin I get called a Satanist and trailer trash on a daily basis. You can't know what that's like." You don't mention that Steve himself even called you insults somewhere along those lines, plus the ones that hurt the most were about your sexuality, which you used to keep hidden for a reason. Even though he might be accepting now but it wasn't always the case.

Steve can't argue that he knows what it's like to be hated and ostracized by the town in the way you are. "Okay, that's different. But it doesn't mean I don't have problems too. And you seriously believe I was the same arrogant prick I was back in high school?"

"Well I wouldn't know, you're still such a pain."

A pain. That's all he is to you. He doesn't know why it hurts despite being a common insult you've thrown at him. "And you're so f*cking pleasant all the time."

You roll your eyes, knowing you can't deny it.

Steve found you infuriating, but he can't bring himself to hate you for it. He was oddly attracted to your fiery personality. "You just love being the pain in my ass don't you," he scoffs.

"I can cause another pain in your ass," you say, chuckling.

Steve pauses. You're just referring to something violent… right? "And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Have you ever been pegged, Harrington?" you say, only half-joking.

Steve nearly chokes on his saliva but quickly composes himself, not letting you get the satisfaction of seeing his reaction. "What the hell kind of question is that?!"

"I was kidding," you say with a laugh, watching the pink rise in his cheeks. Secretly you want to do it, but you force the thoughts to stop distracting you.

"Yeah, yeah. Real funny," he grumbles. Steve hides his curiosity under a façade of irritation. He hadn't actually, but he wouldn't mind it being done by you.

"You still always seem to have something shoved up your ass though, except not as pleasant."

"You're the one with a stick up your ass, not me," he replies.

"Fine, fine. But I'd shove one-" "Woah, you're threatening me right now?" he says as you chuckle, his eyes narrowing. "What's so funny? You really think you can take me in a fight? You might have some muscles sure, but you're still a chick. I could pin you down in seconds."

You try to resist the urge to tell him to do it, as tempting as it was. But you smile and say, "Is that a challenge, Harrington?"

With that he lunges, unable to resist the opportunity to prove his point and wrap his arms around you, using his weight to press you onto the bed. "Since you're so eager to get your ass kicked."

Your foot connects with his side, and he grunts, feeling a stings where you hit him. "Jesus, ow! What was that for?"

He lets go of you and glares, rubbing his side. You use this moment to flip you two over, and Steve was caught off guard. You were back in the same position as earlier in the night, straddling him again. You couldn't resist shifting your hips to get comfortable and he has to back a moan. Instead he focuses on your smug grin and how you're mocking him to ignore the feel of you on him.

"You like getting your ego stroked like this, huh?" At that you put your hand over his mouth to shut him up.

He was about to protest some more but feels his cheeks warm up with the way you're dominating him, feeling both humiliated and aroused at being silenced like this. He hates how much he likes this but keeps his face expressionless so you don't know how much you're affecting him.

Steve tries to speak again but your hand muffles his words, making them unintelligible. All he can do is glare up at you, trapped beneath you. You pin him down harder, squeezing his body with your thighs. Steve lets out a muffled groan and bites your hand.

You let out a sharp gasp. "Ow!"

Steve grins and says sarcastically, "Oops, sorry about that." But he knows he's not sorry at all.

"Let me go, you're squeezing me too tight," he says.

"No," you reply firmly as he squirms.

"You can't just keep me pinned here forever, you know," he says, even though the thought of being trapped under you was turning him on a little too much, imagining what else you can do while he's like this.

Your thoughts drift to similar places and you grab the sheets, using them to tie Steve's hands together. He is shocked but also aroused by the restraints, struggling against them to no avail. The knots near his wrists are too tight and he lies helpless under you.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing…" he grumbles.

You stuff the remaining end of the sheets into his mouth and he tries to spit out the makeshift gag. "Now I can sleep in peace," you say.

Steve wants to yell at you, tell you to get off of him but he can't, and he's both frustrated and aroused by being bound and gagged like this, completely at your mercy. He feels your body press between his legs, making his mind go blank. You hold him down so you can't kick up at you and he wiggles, trying to hide his growing erection.

You shift your hips, acting as though it was just to comfortable, and Steve tries to hold back a moan, coming out as a muffled whimper through the gags. He feels vulnerable and exposed beneath you and hates how it turns him on. He's torn between wanting you to keep going and want to escape from the position you put him in. Each slight movement of your hips drives him crazy, his senses overwhelmed.

He tugs again against the restraints, feeling the fabric in his mouth getting soaked with his saliva. He looks up, eyes meeting yours and silently begging. But he feels heat shoot through him as you smirk down at him, enjoying the power you have over him and the contact as you 'accidentally' grind against him. With his wrists tied he couldn't push you off, but the situation ignites something in him.

Steve has to remind himself that he hates you, that he's supposed to be fighting this, but it gets harder to remember why. He feels a bit embarrassed at his lack of control, how you've reduced him to a helpless mess, since he's used to being the one in charge. Yet he wants you despite everything, and hates himself for enjoying this so much. He gives up fighting and accepts this position, feeling you lean in closer, your breath ghosting over his skin.

Your lips almost touch his neck, and he silently wills you to continue, but you suddenly snap out of your lustful daze and realize what is happening, pulling back.

Steve groans, looking up at you frustrated for playing with him like this, but you get off him, realizing you got way too carried away. Steve feels both relief and disappointment as you get off his body and starts struggling against the restraints against, trying to free himself and speak again so he can tell you off for what you just did to him.

You remove the gag and the untie the sheets, and Steve lets out a breath, collecting himself and rubbing his wrists a little, feeling the soreness from where the fabric dug in. He's not going to tell you that a part of him liked it and wanted you to keep him that way.

"What the hell was that?!" he says, hiding the slight hoarseness in his voice from the gag. Steve was still aroused from your little power play, making him more irritable than usual.

"I was just uh.. Shutting you up." You try to hide how much it excited you to see him bound, eyes begging… F*ck.

His pride was a little wounded by the implication that you can just shut him up whenever you want. "You can't just gag me whenever I say something you don’t like. I have a right to speak my mind, you know."

"Whatever. That was for pinning me down earlier."

"Yeah, well, you started it."

"You were provoking me and deserved it," you say.

"Yeah, well, you didn't have to gag me like that. That was a bit excessive, don't you think?"

You have to admit he's right, but maybe you just wanted to give in to your desires and have him at your mercy. It was quite arousing, honestly.

"You're enjoying this aren't you? Power going to your head, huh?" he scoffs.

"Now you’re making me sound like the jerk here," you respond.

"Oh, I'm making you sound like the jerk? Who's the one who just had me tied up and gagged like some kind of prisoner?"

You can't help the smirk that plays on your lips. "Maybe you're just more pleasant that way, without your cocky attitude."

"Cocky attitude? That's just my personality, sweetheart. Can't handle a little sass?”

"Nah, I like you better silenced," you say, not letting him know how much this is getting you.

Steve knows he should feel offended, but there's something about your assertiveness that he can't help but find hot. He tries to keep up his bravado but he's never had someone take control like this before, it was both exhilarating and infuriating.

"Oh, is that right? You like me better when I can't talk back to you, huh? So, what? You're just gonna gag me every time I piss you off now?"

You bite back, "I just might."

"And what if I fight you? What if I don't want to be silenced like that?" Secretly he feels heat in his stomach at the thought of you doing it again.

"You can try, Harrington," you say with a teasing smirk.

You keep saying my name like that and I'll make you scream it, he thinks. "Oh, I'll fight. Don't think you can just gag me whenever you want, sweetheart. I'm not some helpless puppy you can just tie up and keep quiet."

"Unfortunately," you retort.

Steve ignores the fact that he likes when you take charge. "Yeah, well, you just wait. Someday I'm gonna get you back for this, you know that, right?"

"Oh wow, I'm so scared," you say sarcastically. "Just go to sleep."

He pouts a little at your dismissive tone. "Yeah, whatever. Don't tell me what to do."

Still, Steve knows he should listen. He's tired and frustrated and lets out a sigh, laying down. You roll over and pull the crumpled up sheets over yourself. He stares at the back of your head, wanting to pull you closer but doesn't, knowing that it will just give you more power over him if you know what he wants.

Despite trying to keep a distance between you two, the bed is so small that your bodies brush against each other again. Steve ignores the way his pulse quickens, torn between maintaining his pride and wanting to press against you.

"Haven't you heard of space?" you bark.

"Like this is my fault, punk. Maybe if you stopped hogging the bed--"

"I'm not the one hogging the bed! I'm basically falling off the edge here."

"Oh, poor you. Cry me a river, princess. We're sharing a bed, which means we're going to be close. Get used to it."

"Don't you dare call me that!" you spat.

Steve grins at your irritation. "You're acting like one, all spoiled and demanding. Get over it."

You reach behind you to slap him lightly. "Hey! Watch it!" Steve yelps.

He rubs his shoulder dramatically as you roll your eyes and turn back around. The sting from the contact mixes with arousal and he lays there for a moment, trying to get a grip on his emotions and desires.

"You didn't have to slap me, you know," Steve grumbles.

"Yeah, I know. But I wanted to."

He huffs at your unapologetic response, not surprised that you've resorted to physical violence again when he gets on your nerves. "Yeah I can tell. You always gotta hit me whenever I get under your skin, do you?"

"Can you just shut up for once in your f*cking life?!" you say, exasperated.

Steve glares. "Oh, so now you're complaining about me being too loud? I can't win with you can, I? First it was too cocky, now too loud, what's next, huh?"

"God I hate you," you say.

"Well I hate you more, princess," he grumbles. Yet, deep down, there was an undeniable tension neither wanted to acknowledge.

"I told you not to call me that!" you say, frustrated.

Steve smirks at your indignation. "What, are you gonna slap me again if I call you princess? Go ahead, I dare you."

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? I'm starting to think you might have a masochistic streak," you remark with a chuckle.

"Nah, I just like pissing you off. You're always mocking me, it's a wonder I haven't strangled you yet."

You roll your eyes, knowing he's probably enjoying getting a rise out of you. "Back at ya babe," you respond sarcastically.

Babe. The nickname sends a shiver through his body. Now that's a new level of mocking, he thinks, trying to keep up his annoyed façade. But it's getting harder to stay grumpy when you're being so casually infuriating.

Steve shifts a little on the bed, feeling his body press against yours even more. The sheets get twisted and tangled as they move, the fabric rubbing against his skin as he looks at the back of your head, your hair messy from sleep.

"You're really testing my patience tonight, you know that?" he says.

"You don’t think you are? I don’t know how I’m gonna put up with you till morning," you reply, your comment causing him to roll his eyes at your persistence.

"Oh, now you're acting like I'm the only one causing trouble here? You tied me up and gagged me earlier, remember? And now you're complaining about me being annoying? That's rich."

You can't help but chuckle. "Well we're stuck here together, like it or not.” And just my luck, you thought. Here with Mr. Perfect Hair.

Steve hates that you find this situation amusing. But at the same time, the sound of your laugh is kind of cute, even if it's at his expense. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You think this is so funny, don't you?"

"Well it's way too easy to get you riled up."

"Yeah, well, you just make it too easy to be annoyed with you. You're like a damn mosquito, always buzzing around and biting me."

"A mosquito really? Running out of insults?"

"Oh, come on, you know I could insult you better than that. I'm just... sleepy. And frustrated. And annoyed. So, you know, cut me some slack, princess," he grumbles.

"I thought I told you not to-" You sigh. "You’re the princess here. A big one at that too."

"Excuse me?  You're the one being dramatic, who goes around slapping and tying people up like a damn psycho. Don't try to act like you're some saint." Steve's mind replays the memory of you binding and gagging him earlier, recalling how your body felt against his while you did it. He shakes the thought away, trying to focus on his anger instead.

Eventually, he just sighs. "Look, we’re stuck here. Can we just try to get through one night without biting each other’s heads off?”

You roll onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. “Maybe if you stopped acting like you’re better than everyone, it would be easier.”

“Better than— Are you serious?” He propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at you. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know enough,” you muttered, but your voice lacked its usual bite.

There was a moment of silence, a beat where neither of you spoke. Then, with a soft, almost resigned exhale, Steve lays back down.

“Maybe you’re right,” he said quietly. “But I’m trying, okay? I’m trying to be better.”

You turned your head to look at him, surprised by the vulnerability in his voice. For a moment, the facade dropped, and you saw the person beneath the bravado.

“Yeah, well… maybe I’m trying too,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

The tension between you shifted, softened. You roll onto your side again, grateful Steve hadn’t made some smart remark about you finally admitting you were in the wrong too.

He shifts a little, but freezes when he feels your back against his body, the contact making his breath hitch. His mind is a mess of conflicting emotions – irritation, frustration, desire. He tries to rein in his response, telling himself that he shouldn't be feeling this way about someone who annoys him so much.

You try to move away but it only gets worse -- your ass now pressing against him, making you blush.

Steve swears under his breath as a certain part of him reacts immediately. "Christ, can you move any further back? We're practically together here."

"I'm trying, goddamnit. Want me to fall off?!"

He swallows hard as he feels you wriggling around trying to move further away, the movement only serving to grind your body against his even more.  "Just… stop moving."

You sigh and stop moving, feeling an odd sense of disappointment, kinda missing the friction. No, what the f*ck, you mentally scold yourself.

Steve's back remains pressed against the wall while you're on the edge the bed. "You done moving around now? Can you just stay still for a second?"

Now you move again just out of spite and Steve inadvertently presses himself into you in all the wrong (and right) ways.

"Get away f*ckface," you say, your harsh words a stark contrast to the way your body is pressed against his. Yet you have no intention of changing your guys's current position.

"Get away? I'm literally pinned against the wall here. Not exactly much space for me to move, in case you haven't noticed," he says, but secretly grateful.

Steve shifts to find a more comfortable position but it results in him pressing even closer into you, making you nearly gasp. He feels your breathing getting shorter and your body trembling slightly, the tension building with each passing second.

"You're shaking," he says, the words coming out more like a whisper than he intended.

"I'm… just cold," you reply. Steve smirks and shifts even closer, if it was possible.

"What are you doing?" you whisper.

"Just uh, sharing the warmth. It’s not like I want you to catch a cold."

"Then why don't you give me more of that damn blanket," you say, pulling it off of him with a smirk.

He looks down, the cold air hitting his bare skin and making him realize he has nothing on but boxers. "Jesus, you could've warned me before taking away my only cover. Now I'm freezing."

"Deal with it," you say with a subtle glance over him.

He pulls the blanket back, covering himself up. "It'd be easier if we shared the damn thing," he mutters.

You huff. "Well why are you wearing f*cking boxers in the first place?!"

Steve grumbles in frustration. "I didn't exactly plan on sharing a bed with someone tonight okay? Let alone you. It's not like I knew I had to wear my warmest pajamas just in case."

You just roll your eyes and get up to close the window.

Steve watches you as you move, his eyes drifting down your body. "You're no better. You're practically naked." "It's not like I knew either!" you say, heating up now that you're aware of his gaze. You get back into bed and pull the covers over yourself.

"Seriously? Can you give me some of the damn blanket, at least? I'm freezing my ass off here."

"I just closed the window!" you say.

"Closing the damn window doesn't magically make the room warm, you know. I'm still cold."

You ignore him and roll over, glancing at the clock. "3am already? I would've kept sleeping if you didn't wake me up."

"Hey, you’re the one screaming and flailing around with that nightmare," he says looking at you, his irritation flaring up again.

"Like that's my fault? You weren't sleeping anyway!"

"Yeah, I wasn't sleeping because you're so damn noisy. Every move you make in your sleep makes this damn bed creak, and it's keeping me awake."

"Well just shut up okay? Or I'll-" "Or what huh? You'll slap me again? Nothing you do is gonna scare me, you know."

"Whatever. We need to sleep." You roll your eyes and try to get comfortable with Steve's proximity.

"Can you stop shifting around so damn much? You're making it impossible to sleep," he says.

"You're the one that’s all up on me!"

"Hey, it's not my fault we're stuck in this damn bed together." He shifts a little, feeling the heat radiating off of your body. "F*ck, you're making this so damn hard."

You snicker. "You're the one who's hard."

He rolls his eyes, embarrassed at your observation even though he tried to hide it from you. "Shut up. It's not like I can control that."

"Well it's f*cking weird. Get it away from me."

"You think I don't know that? I can't exactly just will it away, you know."

You want to make a flirty comment about helping him out but stop yourself in time. Instead, you roll over in hopes it's better but it only makes it worse as your fronts now press together.

Steve can feel each of your breaths and it only strengthens his desire. "God this is not helping. This position is even worse than the last one."

"You think I don't know that?"

He shifts and his erection unknowingly rubs against your stomach, sending a jolt of pleasure through him. "Jesus, this is torture."

"You don't say," you grumble. Your body feels like it's on fire from being this close to him.

"Can you just... I don't know, stop breathing so heavily or something? You're making me insane," he says.

"Oh you want me to stop breathing now?"

Steve huffs. "No, smartass, I mean stop breathing so damn loudly. You sound like you just ran a marathon or something."

"I’m breathing normally, you’re just annoyed for no reason," you say in denial.

"No you're not, you're breathing like you just sprinted up a mountain or something. It's driving me crazy."

"You’re the one who keeps squirming around!" you say.

Steve heats up in embarrassment. "Well it's not exactly easy to get comfortable with you pressed up against me like this."

You try to move back a little but it just causes more friction. Steve holds back a moan by biting his lip. "Stop moving, jeez."

He realizes as you move away that you're about to slip out of the bed. "Hey, careful," he says, quickly reaching out to grab you, his hand grabbing your hip to pull you back from the edge, closer to him.

His hand on your hip makes your body react in ways you can't control. "Why do you care anyway? Thought you wanted me to sleep on the floor."

"I just don't want you falling out and cracking your head open or something, okay? It would be a pain in the ass having to call an ambulance in the middle of the night."

"Right." You roll your eyes. "Cause that would ruin your nonexistent sleep."

"It's not like it's easy to sleep when you keep tossing and turning like you're having a damn seizure or something," he replies. Steve keeps his grip firm on your hip, acutely aware of the feel of your skin beneath his fingertips. He tells himself to let go but his hand somehow doesn't move. He can feel his willpower slipping away as he looks at you, your face so close he can almost count every individual lash on your eyelids.

Your pulse quickens as his hand subconsciously tightens on you, fingers slightly digging into your flesh. "What are you doing dude? I'm not falling off the bed anymore, jeez."

Steve knows he's been holding on to you way longer than necessary and snaps out of his thoughts by your voice. "Yeah, I know, I was just… making sure, okay?" He winces at how obvious he's being and lets go, seeing faint marks on your skin that his fingers left and realizing he's been gripping your hip like his life depends on it.

He feels a surge of embarrassment and guilt at unintentionally hurting you. "Sorry… I didn't mean to grip you so hard."

"Harrington apologizing? That's a first," you say, secretly wishing he hadn't let you go.

He was about to say something smartass in response but he gets distracted when he catches the way your teeth bite into your lip. Steve swallows hard, his throat suddenly feeling dry as he thinks about what it would be like to kiss you. He leans in just a fraction of an inch closer…

"Steve?"

He pulls away, the sound of his name on your lips reminding him of the fact you're supposed to be enemies. "What?" he says gruffly.

His sudden distance jolts you out of your very similar thoughts. You hate him, you tell yourself. "Nothing."

"Then shut up and go to sleep."

"I'm trying. You're the one grabbing me."

"Gee, sorry for trying to be a decent human being."

"For once," you retort sarcastically.

"Yeah well, at least I'm not some stubborn ass punk-ass chick who never shuts up and pisses me off all the goddamn time."

"Just go to sleep goddamnit," you say, filled with frustration.

"Fine. I will. It’ll be nice not having to hear your annoying voice for once," he says, rolling over, and turning his back to you. "And you better not keep moving around like a damn fish out of water."

"You're one to talk," you reply and shut your eyes.

Steve closes his eyes as well but as the minutes drag on, neither of you can sleep. His mind kept replaying the moment he'd been holding your hip. He turns and tries to remind himself of all the reasons he shouldn't be thinking about you like this -- the fights, the insults, the fact you're enemies. But he can't get his mind off of your body, the way your thighs press together as you shift around, the smooth expanse of your skin… his resolve weakened with each moment.

You sigh, realizing you could not sleep at all like this, and open your eyes, a little startled to see Steve's staring right back.

Steve feels a jolt of surprise when your eyes meet his, he hadn't realized you were awake and feels a little embarrassed to be caught staring. Still, it was impossible for him to look away.

The hint of light from between the blinds catches in Steve's brown irises and you stare at the way they reflect the moonlight. His gaze feels like a physical touch, making you shiver involuntarily.

"What are you doing?" he whispers, his heart pounding in his chest.

"What are you doing?"

"I uh… couldn't sleep."

"Me either," you say, your eyes traveling down the stretch of bare skin, seeing the dots of moles and freckles on his neck and chest that you long to taste.

"What… what are you looking at?" he says a little shakily despite trying to keep his voice steady. He can feel his muscles tense under your scrutiny.

You look away. "Nothing. Jesus, can't you put a shirt on?"

"What, is my bare chest bothering you?" he smirks, knowing you like what you see but are stubborn as usual.

"Ew, yes. Your hairy chest is gross as f*ck and you keep touching me with it."

"Oh you're so dramatic, it's not gross. You just have bad taste," he says, shifting closer so his chest brushes against yours again.

You fake gag and try to move away but Steve grabs your waist, amused by your exaggerated reaction. "Relax, it's just hair. It's not like it will bite you," he says with a chuckle. "Besides, you're gonna fall off if you keep moving back."

You don't say anything as he pulls you closer to him, his thumb rubbing small circles on the soft skin there. "You really are terrible at staying still, you know that?"

Steve squeezes your waist a little tighter, enjoying how you squirm against him. His fingers move down to edge the fabric of your shirt, slipping under to run along your stomach teasingly.

"And you talk too much, you know that?" you whisper lowly in response, pressing your hips up against his.

"Why don't you shut me up then?" he whispers against your ear.

"Is that a challenge?' You say with a smirk, not waiting for a response as you roll on top of him in one quick motion, your mouth hovering just above his. Steve's face is flushed with surprise at the sudden movement and you capture his lips in a rough, possessive kiss.

-

chapter 3 (smut warning) here

[tartarusknight]

King of the Freaks | Part 8

Ao3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Eddie woke up to Wayne yelling at him. Not the best way to wake up. But he pushed himself out of his blankets and sleepily took the phone from his uncle. He leaned on his arms on the counter, “yeah?” He yawned and watched his uncle pour him a cup of coffee like Eddie wasn’t planning on going back to bed after this.

“Hey, um, it’s Steve?” Steve’s voice sounds nervous and Eddie’s hand slips. His face smacked the counter in surprise and he jumped up to act chill.

“Steve? Hey, what’s up?” Eddie says cheerily and glares at Wayne who snorts into his cup of coffee.

Eddie grabs the cup Wayne set down next to him and took a sip. “Uh, yeah, I was- well the kids I babysit were wanting to go shopping for Snowball, you know the dance? And my car can’t fit all of them. I was wondering if you wanted to join me. Or if I could just borrow the van. You don’t have to waste your day on me. I just- It’s not safe and I-” Steve rambled and Eddie wanted to wrap him up in a hug and tell him it was all okay.

“Slow down, sweetheart. Of course, I want to spend the day with you.” Eddie cuts in and Wayne raises an eyebrow over at him. It was just a slip, nothing big and it was just the once, it wasn’t important.

Steve clears his throat over the line, “right. Yeah, great. Uh, I can meet you at the trailer. Sorry it’s so early, they literally woke me up knocking on my door. They’re little shits,” he laughs and Eddie can hear how fake it is.

“No, problem, Stevie. I’ll have enough time by the time you get here to get ready.” He assures and Wayne snorts.

“You leavin’ the house? While it’s sunny out? This boy’s a good influence on ya,” Wayne teases and Eddie flips him off.

Eddie pointedly returns his focus to the call, “Yeah, Wayne told me to get out and get some sun so, sounds like a perfect thing to do. See ya soon, darling.” He hangs up and winces as the second term of endearment comes out. “Don’t say a word,” Eddie glares at Wayne before heading to get ready.

He manages to get himself ready quickly enough but as he’s looking for his wallet, there’s a knock on the door. Eddie glances out the window to see a group of a lot of kids on his front lawn. “I’m so close to being done,” Eddie calls just as he upends a basket of dirty laundry. Swearing under his breath as he struggles to find it even now. There’s a knock on his door, making his door swing open since it was broken and never actually stayed shut.

Steve looks tired and a little bored as he glances around his room and Eddie focuses on finding his wallet. “Sorry, I’m not finding my wallet. I think it’s in a pair of jeans or maybe a hundred different places. I’m not actually sure. Like I’ve tried going back from when I last remember having it but…” Eddie groans as another pair of jeans is empty.

Steve moves forwards, catching Eddie’s attention once again and Eddie needs to remind himself that they’re going to babysit kids all day. He doesn’t have Steve in his room for anything else. Steve clears his throat, “Can you not say anything about Billy?” He blurts out and he looks shocked at his own words.

Eddie pauses his search to truly look at Steve. He’s got bags under his eyes and wearing a soft yellow sweater. Eddie gives him a soft smile, “yeah, of course. I wouldn’t make you seem uncool or-”

Steve laughs and it’s the bitchy laugh Eddie remembers from when he was friends with Tommy and Carol. Except it’s not directed at Eddie but himself, “dude. Trust me when I say they don’t think I’m cool. They watched my ass get beat by Billy already. I just- I don’t need them to know that he’s still, you know?”

Eddie desperately wants to pull him into another hug. But he forced himself to keep his distance. Steve hadn’t said anything about the last hug but it’s not like he’s tried to hug Eddie. So maybe the hug was a little too far. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” Eddie promises.

However, then he spots his wallet in his backpack. Of course, his backpack. He hasn’t needed it yet since the weekend started. He leans close to Steve to grab it and hears a sharp inhale from Steve as he pulls back. “My backpack,” he grins and Steve glances back and nods sharply kind of like a bobblehead. Eddie looks at him and the flush on his face before he heads toward the door. He gives Wayne a two-finger salute before ducking out.

Two of the kids are trying to snoop around his van and he puffs his chest out a little. He knows better than to keep embarrassing shit in there. Not after befriending Gareth who is like a feral chihuahua sometimes. (Definitely didn’t clean it after befriending Steve just in case.) The kids turn in sync and Eddie finds them terrifying with their big innocent smiles, whether they’re actually innocent Eddie doubts. He glances over at Steve who places his hands on his hips like a tired mother. “Dipshits, meet Eddie,” he gestures toward him.

The lanky dark brown-haired one frowns “wow. I didn’t think you’d have non-preppy friends.” Eddie glances over at Steve to see if Steve was hurt by it.

Steve snaps his fingers and points at the kid, “Wheeler you’re on thin ice.” He states and glances over at Eddie with an apologetic face. “Eds meet Max, Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and the only nice one, Will.” Pointing them out for Eddie.

Eddie looks over them and realizes a few things about Steve right then and there. The kids he loves are the younger siblings of people who Steve had the right to hate. “Okay, so let me get this straight,” Eddie starts and glances over at Steve, then the kids, then back to Steve. “You babysit Nancy’s younger brother, Jonathan’s younger brother, and Billy’s younger-”

“Stepsister,” the red interrupts and Eddie nods to her. He’s not sure if it’s wrong of him to be happy that she sounds pissed off to be related to Billy but he is. He’ll feel guilty about it later… or never. But it makes more sense why Steve wouldn’t want to talk about Billy with the kids.

The curly-haired one, Dustin, who Steve’s talked the most about jumps up. “And Steve’s our friend, not just a babysitter,” He adds and Eddie can’t help but smile. It’s obvious how much the kid loves Steve. And the kid was jealous of Eddie for being friends with Steve.

Steve moves and ruffles Dustin’s hair, “course, Henderson.” Acting like an older brother so easily and Eddie likes to see the care written across Steve’s face. Steve never shows his love easily but the kids seem to be the exception.

Eddie nods and tosses the keys up into the air and catches them. “Well, little ones I believe it’s time to embark on our adventure.” He says in his DM voice and opens the back door with a flourish. They all tumble in and Steve hesitates for a moment before locking his car and sitting in shotgun. Eddie hops in and starts up the van that hopefully won’t fail him today cause that would be embarrassing.

Black Sabbath blares for a moment before Eddie turns it down quickly. In the back mirror, he watches the kids plus Steve all jump. “Right, yep,” Eddie gives Steve a small, embarrassed smile. “Uh, where to?”

However, it’s not Steve who answers but Dustin. Dustin’s head peaks out from the back, “we’re looking for stylish dance attire.”

Eddie glances at the kid with a smile of approval. “You know Dustin Henderson; I think you and I are going to be good friends.”

The ride shouldn’t have been entertaining. Honestly, it was just a quick one and Steve pointed out the thrift store to check out first, but it was highly entertaining. Eddie could watch Steve attempt to look calm while Eddie drives for hours. The way his hands jump to the door handle or the armrest before he forces himself to relax. The way Steve looks very close to demanding Eddie pull over and let him drive. Eddie knows he isn’t the best driver, he’s easily distracted and likes the thrill of it all.

But when he stops at the first place and Steve grabs the keys from him, he isn’t surprised. Just amused that he was able to push Steve until he did something about it. They head in and Steve with his hands on his hips tells them to stick in pairs. Steve lingered next to him like he wanted to say something but then the kids were pulling Eddie over to get his opinion since he didn’t dress like a ”preppy jock”. Eddie glanced over to make sure Steve didn’t look hurt but he was just rolling his eyes and turning to Lucas and Max.

Lucas and Max were talking quietly as they looked over the clothes. They stayed close to Steve and would sometimes say something to Steve that would make him snort and shake his head. Mike followed Eddie around and where Mike was, Will followed. But Dustin switched between pulling Steve over to look at something and pulling Eddie over to look at something.

He got the impression that Dustin was checking out the competition for Steve’s best friend. And well… Eddie knew he wasn’t Steve’s best friend. He didn’t know who Steve would call his best friend. Maybe Jeff? Honestly, Dustin had a better chance at it than Eddie did. Steve always seemed relaxed around Dustin except for the small moments when Steve looked like a mama bear. But around Eddie, there were small glances and awkward smiles…

“Why aren’t you looking at the dresses?” Mike snarked at Max who was looking at the sweaters without any real enthusiasm.

She glanced over at him, “I don’t like skirts.”

“But it’s a dance? Girls are supposed to-” Mike continued and Eddie wondered if the kid ever kept a thought to himself.

Steve stepped between them, “she doesn’t have to. Just because most girls wear skirts doesn’t mean all of them do.”

However, that didn’t seem to stop Mike. It didn’t even make the dude pause. “That’s like saying most guys don’t wear skirts but some do.” He crosses his arms like he has a point but Eddie could personally debunk the theory. But he wasn’t sure he was okay talking about trips to gay bars, so he kept quiet.

Steve was kind of frozen and he looks like his brain was working hard to think of what to say. His eyes flicker down in thought. Eddie panics, he should say something. He should jump in and help. But then Steve straightens, eyes staring Mike down. “They do just not in bumfuck Indiana. Now go find a suit Karen would approve of.” Steve’s got a nervous energy as he pulls Max away from the group. Max gives him a weird look but lets herself be directed.

Eddie claps, “Alright gentlemen. Times for the games to begin. Let’s see who can find their outfit the fastest. Whoever wins gets free ice cream from yours truly.” He decides and the kids look at him critically.

“Steve always buys us ice cream,” Will murmurs like he’s saying it to explain it to him.

Eddie hums and glances over at Steve, “whoever wins gets to pick the music on the way back.” The kids look at each other for a moment before scattering. He grins and bounces a little. He’s a natural.

He was not a natural. But Mike seemed to really like him along with Dustin. Will looked a little nervous but Eddie knew the kid had been through a lot, so he figured it might take a minute to warm up. Lucas seemed to like him enough but he followed Max around like a lost puppy. And Max just looked annoyed most of the time but she seemed to like Steve well enough. Honestly, she, Lucas, and Dustin looked at Steve with a little awe in their eye.

“So, why are you friends with Steve? I thought he was only friends with preppy jocks like himself.” Mike states when Eddie notices a Metallica shirt. He makes a confused hum and looks over at Mike with a raised eyebrow. “You two have nothing in common! Why are you friends?”

Eddie pauses and thinks because it’s not like he can say the real reason he and Steve got to know each other. “Well, Steve’s a part of my little group. Honestly, he’s friends with more freaks than jocks. I don’t think I’ve seen him talk to a single jock since Billy- uh since um,” he struggles to come up with something but all the kids get a solum look on their faces.

Eddie looks over at them and then Mike snorts, “but isn’t he like too jocky for you?” He questions and Eddie’s spine straightens.

He looks at the kid, trying to see what his end goal was. Did this kid talk to Steve like this? Like just because Steve liked sports, he was a douche? Shouldn’t think kid be thankful enough that Steve even tolerates him after Nancy and he broke up quite messily? “I think that’s a shitty way to think. Everyone has their own hobbies. Just because you don’t have everything in common with someone doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.” He states and glances over to Steve to see him watching Dustin with a fond smile as the kid talked loudly.

“Plus, sports aren’t too bad. Lots of people like sports. My uncle loves to watch baseball and basketball. I don’t but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him. Honestly, kid, you’re not gonna make any more friends if you think everyone needs to do everything that you do.” Eddie states then pauses. He didn’t want to be an asshole to an actual kid. “I just mean, like, uh, you need to accept that people like different things. Don’t you like Steve? I mean you went to him for help. Unless you’re just using him?”

Mike flounders a little but Will steps in to help, “No way. Steve’s really nice to us. He’s our babysitter but he doesn’t treat us like babies. He’s always been kind to us. Mike just-”

Mike huffs, “he dated my sister. It’s weird,” he states and Eddie can’t stop the small smirk from forming. “Whatever, he’s still douchy.” And he marches off before Eddie can say anything.

 @zerokrox-bloglog @cyranyxx @adaed5 @the-redthreadd @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaringceyoustopcaring @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshitorthisshit @failedstarsandgoldencloudsds @bisexualdisastersworldd @deadlydodoss @anythingyouwanttobee @nburkhardtt @bestwifehaverr @thehumblefigtreee @megzdoodlee @swimmingbirdrunningrockk @mightbeasleepp @bxlthazarar @autumnal-dawnn @chillichatss @nonbinary-eddie-munsonon @the-daydreamer-in-the-cornerner @eddie-munson-is-my-wifewife @a-little-unsteddiedie @sharingisntkaren @a-huge-nerdy-nerd @0o-queendean-o0 @beckkthewreck @vi-an-te @vampireinthesun @newtstabber @dinosareawesome2137  @spicemallow @hellomynameismoo  @luthienstormblessed @briceslayed @angeldreamsoffanfic @dbquills @prideandsensibility @iwouldsail @ponfarrtimeatthevulcannightclub @spectrum-spectre @the-chilly-kat @yearningagain @loopsmd @starlight-archer @sleepy-time @goodolefashionedloverboi  @crazyshipper67  @sherrylyn628  @bidisastersworld  @v3lnys  @n0connections  cherixxx69  theotalksalot  tailsfromthecrypt  ledleaf  grimmfitzz  @pyrohonk

[magicalqueennightmare]

Sins & Amends Chapter 54

Billy Russo x Female Reader (60 part story)

This follows pre- the punisher into the storyline of daredevil, punisher season 1 and beyond

This is NOT Canon Billy. This is decent human being Billy left with bad options over worse decisions

This was also posted to A03 under: WaywardGaPeach. That account and this one is the only place you'll see me post this. If you see it on any other platform/account know it's not me.

Chapter Summary/Warnings: Billy proves yet again nothing will keep him from you and Adi

Frank watched you pace back and forth for about a half an hour before he stood up and moved to block your path. When you froze in front of him he tilted his head slightly "They'll come get us in a little while ok?" You nodded then said "You called me Billy's fiance" with a shaky laugh.

 "Yea they're big on closest family and I didn't think mother of his child had quite the same ring" he replied with a shrug so you shook your head "No Frank I um I sort of proposed to Billy"

You could see the confusion on his face before he ever asked "When?" You suddenly felt a bit self conscious when you admitted "While he was bleeding out?" You weren't sure how Frank would react but after a moment he sort of laughed then said "Well you and Bill have never done anything the easy way. But does this mean I'll be your best man instead of his?" 

You rolled your eyes but you were actually grateful for his teasing tone. It made your nerves calm down some even if it was only temporary. 

A nurse walking towards the two of you got your attention when she asked "Are you Mr Russo's family?" You felt Frank's hand at your lower back before he said "Yes ma'am" she smiled then said "Doctor Morales asked me to escort you to his room" you glanced up at Frank who gave you a quick nod so you said "Lead the way" 

-----------------

You hated ICU. There was a reason you'd went to become a paramedic instead of a nurse. You could treat everything from stab wounds to wrecks all day but when it came down to it you kept them alive then dropped them at the door. Yeah you and Alice always checked on the status of your patients but that was different than having to hold your breath to see if they were gonna recover or go down hill.

Your feet started feeling like they weighed about fifty pounds each when she walked into one room in particular. You wanted nothing more than to see Billy but you also dreaded to see just what loving you had cost him.

"C'mon" was all Frank said before he grabbed your arm and bodily pulled you into the door behind him. 

------------------

You froze with your arm still in Frank's grip as your eyes landed on Billy's still form in the bed. There was a heart monitor keeping a steady rhythm hooked up to him along with a bag of antibiotics on drip and he had oxygen up his nose. 

"He's breathing on his own" you said as you let out the breath you'd been holding. The nurse nodded "Yes ma'am. Mr Russo is a fighter that's for certain" you cut your eyes at Frank before walking closer to the bed. "Does he have stitches or staples?" 

The nurse pulled back the blanket so you could see the gauze covering Billy's lower stomach "There's internal stitches and external stitches. Bandages will have to be cleaned twice a day which I'm sure you can handle once he goes home. All in all he was very lucky" "When's he gonna wake up?" You asked ignoring the fact that once again someone was telling you how lucky Billy was despite the fact that he was laying in a hospital bed.

"With the anesthesia and pain meds he'll probably be out for another couple hours. The two of you are welcome to sit with him" she checked a few of his vitals then exited the room leaving you and Frank standing at the foot of Billy's bed.

"Bad dejavu" you blurted out and Frank just shook his head "Yeah I was just thinking that"" 

---------------------

You ended up curled up in a chair on the right side of Billy's bed while Frank had taken up occupancy of the other chair that was closer to the window. "Is it just me or is it cold as hell in here?" You asked with a shiver so Frank stood pulling his hoodie off "Here sweetheart. That adrenaline crash is a bitch"

You pulled his hoodie on over the scrubs you were wearing and smiled "Thanks Frank" he nodded "Get some sleep" "I can't I need to call and check on Adi and what if he wakes up?" Frank cut you off halfway "I will call and check on Adi and if he wakes up and you're asleep in the chair it's not like he can go far.You worked a sixteen hour shift and have been running yourself ragged since they bought him in please just take a breath ok?" 

You were exhausted to the point that keeping your eyes open was a struggle so you nodded and laid your head back against the chair "Thank you for being here Frank" "Anytime kid"

There was a reason why Billy always hated pain meds and even only drank in moderation. He couldn't stand feeling cloudy headed. Especially after having the TBI.

He could feel a tightness in his stomach and heard what sounded like the beeping of a heart monitor. Heart monitor? He was in the hospital. Why was he in the hospital?

When he was finally able to push past the haze of whatever drugs he'd been given he remembered fully what happened. That guy had tried to kill you.

He'd gotten shot to protect you. The last thing he remembered was your eyes staring down at him. God you'd looked so sad.

He slowly opened his eyes and was met with a hockey game on the tv hanging on the wall. He turned his head to the left first and saw Frank leaned back in a chair "Frankie?" He called and the other man's head snapped around "Well fuck Bill. Welcome back" 

He half smiled then his eyes landed on you. You were curled up in a chair right next to his bed. You looked like you were wearing scrubs and he was fairly certain that was Frank's hoodie you were wearing.

"Is she ok?" Frank followed his line of sight then nodded slowly "Yeah,You scared the hell out of her. By the time I got to her I think a little shock may have set in but she's ok now. She's been out a couple hours"

The haunted look in your eyes was still playing through his mind. He had to see you awake. He wanted so bad to see a smile on your face. It would be worth any amount of pain he was currently feeling. Hell the pain was better than the fog of the drugs.

"Can you wake her up man?" He finally asked Frank after a moment. "Yeah" Frank stood to walk around the bed but stopped right before he got to you then glanced back at Billy "You did good Bill. She's safe and that asshole is dead" 

Without waiting for Billy's answer Frank leaned down and shook your shoulder gently "C'mon sweetheart. Wake up"

You swatted Frank's hand away at first. You didn't want anything to eat nor did you feel like coffee yet. You just wanted to sleep until either Billy woke up or Karen called saying Adi wanted you so being mommy would push any other thought out of your mind. 

You heard a chuckle join Frank's after you said "Five more minutes Castle or I'll show everyone the Punisher should be afraid of me" and your eyes flew open "Billy?" He'd hit the button to push the bed up so he was in a reclined sitting position but his eyes were glued to you and he had a smile on his face "Good morning sleeping beauty"

You were out the chair and to the side of the bed before you could even acknowledge the pinch in your side. "Baby. You're ok" you felt tears sliding down your face as your fingers clasped around Billy's hand before Frank leaned over your shoulder and pressed a kiss to your forehead "I'm gonna give you two a minute. I'll call Karen and give Curt a call too" he winked at Billy who said "Thanks Frankie" then teased "Next time you two want to get everyone together let's do a movie night" before he walked out into the hall.

-----------------

You glanced down at yours and Billy's hand and felt more tears coming from your eyes "I'm so sorry baby" his other hand came up to cup your chin so he could make you look at him. The raw honesty in his eyes made your heart flip "Y/N why are you apologizing? You didn't shoot me, well not this time anyways"

You dropped your gaze ignoring his attempt at a joke then said "You almost died because of me Billy. I love you so fucking much and I thought I'd lost you. I lost your pulse, that was one of the worse things I've ever experienced and if you would have died protecting me...I don't know what I would've done"

When you finally met his eyes again he patted the bed next to him "C'mere baby please" you slowly walked around the bed and slid in next to him careful not to hit his stomach. You laid your head over on his shoulder so he laid his head over on yours.

"Y/N you and Adi are the best things that's ever happened to me. From the day I met you I knew I'd end up with you. Frank had preached for years about quality over quantity and I always brushed it off then the day I walked off that plane and you were standing with Maria with Lisa on your hip. I knew what he'd meant all that time. I wanted you and not just for a night. When you told me you loved me the first time it was better than anything I'd ever felt. I fucked it all up and almost lost you for good but despite it all you still loved me and our love made our babygirl. Are you seeing a pattern here? Since I met you even at my lowest you've been my reason to fight. I don't regret taking a bullet for you. I never would"

You tilted your head to press a quick kiss to his neck "I'm sorry we've wasted so much time" "It still lead to us being back together so that's what matters" he replied then a smirk spread across his face "Did you propose to me or was that the blood loss?"

You couldn't help but laugh before you said "No I did" he pulled you in for a quick kiss then pulled away and said "I've got to say no but because I want to be the one to propose to you" you smiled then pressed another kiss to his lips "Don't take too long"

Frank walked back into the room about that time and raised an eyebrow at how close you and Billy were "Um I don't think he's cleared for that" you felt your cheeks warm so you gave Billy another quick kiss then stood out the bed. Frank held his phone out "Adi wants to come see mommy and daddy after lunch. That ok?" You glanced back at Billy who nodded "Yeah that's fine"

While the three of you were waiting for Karen to park and come up with Adi Billy broke the silence by saying "Frankie what are you doing tomorrow?" Frank looked at you then shrugged "I don't know. I've got a meeting first thing about starting the training for junior agents then I'm free"

Billy nodded then said "Good you can take Y/N car shopping. I think we can all agree it's past time" Frank looked at you then shrugged "Sounds good to me"

----------------

You were standing by the door of Billy's room when you spotted Karen and Adi step off the elevator "MOMMY!" She hollered and took off at a run for you with Karen struggling to keep up.

Adi slung herself into your arms. "Where's daddy?" She asked about the time Karen had caught up so you jerked your head back towards the room "Let's see if we can find him huh?"

When the three of you walked back into the room Billy's eyes lit up when he saw Adi on your hip "There's my babygirl" he held out his arms so you walked over and helped her climb into bed next to him "Aunt Karen said you were hurt and mommy was crying. I was scared" 

All of you exchanged a look before Billy said "Baby I'm ok. My stomach is gonna be sore for a while but daddy is ok... I promise" she was careful not to hit his stomach as she squirmed up far enough to place a kiss on the scar that marked his right cheek "I love you so much daddy" the smile he had deepened even further as he pulled her into a hug "I love you even more pumpkin"

---------------------

When it started nearing dinner time you expected Adi to want you to go home with her but she announced "Mommy I'm going with them" pointing to Frank and Karen. "What do you mean baby?" You asked and she rolled her eyes very dramatically "You stay with daddy"

Frank chuckled "Guess you got your marching orders Y/N. Straight from headquarters" "I guess so" you agreed. Adi walked back over to the bed so Karen helped her up so she could hug Billy "Love you daddy" "Love you more" he told her and kissed her cheek.

You walked them to the elevator and Frank offered to bring you some dinner back but Alice and Kenzie were already planning to stop by. "Call me if she changes her mind, ok?" He nodded "She'll be fine Y/N. You just catch your breath ok?" "I promise Frank" you hugged him then Karen before picking up Adi in another hug.

-----------------------

When you got back to the room a nurse was sitting the cot Frank had asked for down in the corner of the room. You thanked her with a smile then retook residence of the chair next to the bed for time being.

"If you want to go home and get some rest I'll be fine" Billy offered and you cut him off with a look. "Like hell. I'm not going anywhere until you're coming with me" he half smiled and said "Yes ma'am"

You glanced down at your phone because it'd went off with a text from Alice. Billy waited until you looked back up to question "So are you going to tell me what happened with Moore?" You took a deep breath then said "Can it wait until Alice gets here?" His eyes never left yours and you knew he was trying to read your face to tell just how bad the story was. He slowly nodded "Of course" 

You heard Alice before her and Kenzie ever made it to the room. You glanced up and smiled when she came flying in the room. "Jesus Christ! I knew it! I knew I should've taken you two home!" 

Billy cracked a smile "Well hello Kenzie, nice to see you" Kenzie leaned around Alice and gave a small wave "Hey Billy. Glad you're ok" 

Alice sat the food she'd brought down in the corner of the room then grabbed Billy's chart and flipped through it.  "Surgery went good. Missed any major organs" you shook your head at her then Billy caught your eye. You'd promised him an explanation now you owed one.

"Alice, Billy wants to know what happened with Alex Moore" the moment you said the words her eyes flew up to Billy. "What happened was he was a fucking psycho and your baby mama here refuses to back down from shit when she's protecting someone" 

He nodded but still looked a bit confused you took a breath then said "We responded to a call, what Alice two weeks after I came back from maternity leave?" She nodded "Yeah about two weeks. It was from Alex's now former wife"

You looked up into Billy's eyes and half smiled before continuing "He'd beat her so bad Billy she miscarried. We thought he'd left the area, hell NYPD was searching for him but he double backed" 

"Then what happened?" He asked and you saw Kenzie lean back against the wall. She knew everything that had happened but it still wasn't something she liked hearing.

"He ended up outside the E.R. He grabbed his ex, tried to kill her and us. Y/N fought with him. She protected me and his ex. She also ended up getting stabbed twice by the son of a bitch before security came out the hospital" Alice choked out tears brimming her eyes as she reached for your hand and you gave hers a light squeeze.

Billy looked from you to Alice "Baby, why didn't you tell me?" You shrugged "When was I supposed to throw that into conversation Billy? Oh hey honey oh you wanna know what you missed? Well I spent a week in a hospital when our daughter was still a newborn and I almost lost my spleen" 

He shook his head slowly then finally said "Well it was worth getting shot to kill that son of a bitch" 

Alice and Kenzie ended up staying until visiting hours were almost over. You hugged them both and they each hugged Billy before leaving.

Alice stopped at the door "Russo?" "Yeah, Alice?" "Thanks for protecting her" Billy nodded "I always will"

After they left you were sitting in the middle of the cot watching the news. You cut your eyes up and realized he was staring at you.  "Are you mad I didn't tell you?" He shook his head "No. I'm thinking about what if you would've died and god that hurts worse than anything" "Now you know how I felt when I found you and Frank then again last night when you were bleeding out in my arms"

He nodded "Yeah. By the way why aren't you up here with me?"  You shook your head "I can't. Too big of a risk that I may hurt you. That's why Frank wrangled the cot up" "Can I have a kiss at least?" He asked that half smile turning into a full blown Russo smirk. You rolled your eyes playfully but you were so grateful that he was ok. He was alive and doing well considering he'd been shot a little over twenty four hours before. 

You stood and walked over to the side of the bed then leaned down to let your lips barely brush against his. When you started to pull back he grabbed your hand "I know you're not calling that a kiss sweetheart. Act like you love me" 

You raised an eyebrow at his words but when you saw the way the corners of his eyes were crinkled trying to fight back his smile you knew he was trying to get a rise out of you. You leaned back down this time cupping the side of his face with your hand feeling your fingers play across the stubble lining his cheek. 

He met your lips halfway both of you melting into the kiss. Billy had always been an amazing kisser and it seemed yet another brush with death hadn't effected that any. He could still make you tingle with the way his lips moved against yours. You moved your hand back to play with the hair at the nape of his neck as the kiss deepened slightly. 

You pulled back from the kiss and he smiled up at you "Now that's how I know you kiss" you gave him another quick kiss then said "I love you Billy but you'll get all the kisses you want once you're healed up. At least you'll be coming home with me and Adi so that's one thing to look forward to right?" He nodded then his smile dropped "Just wish it wasn't temporary"

Your gaze left his for a second while you tried to find the nerve to say what you wanted to next. When you finally raised your eyes again he was watching you curiously.

"Then if you don't want it to be temporary and I don't want it to be temporary why don't you just move in completely with us? We're still just as in love as we always were. Hell more so now. Adi would be over the moon to have us both under the same roof and I don't know about you but I feel like we've already wasted too much time apart. I don't want to waste any more" 

"Are you sure?" He asked quietly and you felt your face flush. Maybe you'd misread him. Maybe he didn't want to live together again. Your face betrayed your emotions because the next thing he said was "Y/N I'd love nothing more than to live with you and Adi. Sweetheart a second chance for us and a chance for our family to be together is all I've wanted for months"

Before you even thought about it your lips were back on his. The kiss deepened as Billy pulled you closer to him. Your hand went to his chest careful to stay high enough it wouldn't hit his wound. Luckily before the two of you got lost in each other a nurse cleared her throat at the doorway. You pulled away with a blush and Billy simply chuckled when she said "Well Mr Russo I see you're feeling better" "Oh yes ma'am" he replied eyes never leaving yours.

@intothesoul

@weallhaveadestiny

[chiimeramanticore]

Part of the Band - Chapter 16 - Back to the Music Store

Chapter summary: Beach Bear and Dook return to band practice for the first time since Beach Bear's accident.

A/N:

watch how long I can write a fanfic about a band without actually writing anyone perform music bc I don't know how to write it without it sounding awkward lmao god how long's it been since I updated. feels like ages. I'm back! and I'm gonna (try to) upload two days in a row to make up for it! we have a little downtime plot-wise rn as we shift gears a little. beach bear's character arc is starting to wrap up, and that leaves us with dook to explore :] I've done a lotta thinking on the guy lately and I'm excited to see where his arc takes us (it's gonna be sadddd) that's all I got today i think! see you tomorrow (probably)! enjoy the chapter!

Chapter word count: 1,172

<- Chapter 15 - Chapter 17 ->

Read it on AO3!

"Y'know we don't have to do this," Dook says.

"I want to," Beach Bear insists. "We already missed band practice last week. I don't want us to fall behind just because of me."

Dook pushes Beach Bear's wheelchair down the street toward the music store. With his car still gone and Beach Bear himself out of commission, they had to take the bus. At least it's got a wheelchair lift, Dook figures. It was a bit of an ordeal getting Beach Bear in and out of Fatz' car the other day. With time, and physical therapy, though, things should get easier.

"What're we gonna fall behind from?" Dook mutters, more of a statement than a question. "We haven't even gotten any gigs yet."

"Yeah, 'cause we don't have a full set list yet," Beach Bear says back. "We need to write more."

"What, you wanna do all original stuff?" Dook asks. " 'S not gonna hurt us to have a few covers. 'Specially if we're just startin' out."

"I guess," Beach Bear says. "I just feel like we can do better."

The two enter the music store, heading into the back room.

"We can take it easy today, though," Dook suggests, leaving Beach Bear by the couch. "Maybe we just play around for a while."

"We always do that," Beach Bear complains. "I wanna get serious."

Dook looks at Beach Bear. He knows him when he gets antsy like this, and it's usually because of something other than the thing he's actually complaining about. But before he gets the chance to ask, the door swings open again.

"Beach Bear!"

"Mitzi!" Beach Bear's face lights up upon seeing her. Mitzi runs to him, giving him a hug. He groans, the force of her body hitting him rough on his still-healing chest. It doesn't stop him from smiling at the sight of her, though.

"I'm so excited to see you here," he says. "We've been hurting for a singer like nobody's business."

"I'm excited too! I wanna sing Monkees," she says.

Beach Bear falters a bit. "N– No, Mitzi, we're not gonna do the Monkees," he says. "We're trying to focus on original music now."

"C'mon, Beach Bear, it's her first day," Dook says. "Ease her in with some Monkees if she wants."

Beach Bear looks between their two expectant faces. "...Alright," he relents. "But just for today."

"Yes!" Mitzi bounces excitedly.

The door opens again. "Morning, everyone," Fatz says.

"Morning, Fatz," Dook says.

"Hey, Fatz," Beach Bear says.

"Hi Fatz!" Mitzi says.

"Mitzi!" Fatz reaches out for a high five, which Mitzi happily obliges. "It's good to see you here."

"We're gonna sing Monkees," she tells him.

"Yeah, it was Beach Bear's idea," Dook teases.

"Hey, now," Beach Bear complains. Then, "Dook, pass me my guitar, would ya?"

"Hi everyooone!" Looney Bird calls, following Billy Bob into the room.

"Heyyy," Dook says back in the same cadence, reaching for Beach Bear's guitar. "We're gonna do the Monkees."

"Yeah, it was my idea," Beach Bear says. Mitzi laughs.

Dook hands Beach Bear his guitar. "How've you two been?" He asks Billy Bob.

"Oh, fine," he says. "Just the usual."

"Billy Bob set the kitchen on fire last night," Looney Bird butts in.

Billy Bob laughs loudly and awkwardly, trying to brush off the comment without inviting any further question. He isn't questioned outright, but does get a questioning look from Dook and Fatz.

"...Well, gee, it wasn't the whole kitchen," Billy Bob finally says. "I left the stove goin' too high!"

"Yeah, and the stove was on fire!" Looney Bird says.

"Ain't a stove supposed to be on fire?" Fatz says. "How're you supposed to cook the food otherwise?"

"It's supposed to be a little on fire," Billy Bob adds.

"Not that much," Looney Bird says.

"Dook," Beach Bear interrupts. He's sitting with his guitar held awkwardly and uncomfortably. "Can we talk outside for a sec?"

"Yeah," Dook says. He helps Beach Bear leave his guitar on the couch and follows him outside the room.

"I can't do this," Beach Bear admits.

"Aw, don't get yourself down so quick," Dook says.

"No, I mean, I literally can't play my guitar," Beach Bear says. "It's–" He makes a vague motion with his hands, trying to illustrate a point and failing. "I can't get it to rest on my lap right 'cause of the damn wheelchair."

"Oh. Well... What if you sat on the couch instead?" Dook asks. That's where he usually sits, anyway. "I don't mind helpin' you."

"Even if I did, I..." He looks down at his right arm, still in a cast. "I'm kinda restricted right now."

"Oh," Dook says. He doesn't have an easy fix for that one.

"I should've thought about this before I started saying I wanted to do band practice again," Beach Bear says. "I don't know how I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to play music."

"Well, now you really are gettin' down on yourself," Dook says. "We can figure somethin' out." What else can he do, though? It's not like Beach Bear plays any other instruments...

"...Hey, uh, Beach Bear?" Dook starts.

"Yeah?"

"Y'know how I said no more secrets between us?"

"...Yeah?"

"I, uh, I have a confession to make," Dook says. "Last time you went out to the beach, I was doin' some cleaning, and I, ah... I found that disc you didn't want me to hear, from a while back. And I played it."

"Ah, geez," Beach Bear says, cringing. "That's embarrassing. It's not even close to finished."

"B- But," Dook continues, "I thought you were fantastic! I think you're a great singer. And if you can't play guitar, maybe..."

"...I can't," Beach Bear says.

"Why not?" Dook asks. "There's nothin' wrong with your voice!"

"It's not my voice, I..." Beach Bear glances toward the door, toward everyone waiting inside. "...I've got, like... stage fright, I guess. I can't sing on the spot, y'know? I've never been good at it. I need time to prepare."

"...Oh." Dook isn't sure what to say. This explains a lot, he realizes. "I... I guess you don't have to, then. I just thought–"

"No, I understand," Beach Bear says. "I appreciate it, really." He smiles at him. "You really liked it?"

Dook couldn't overstate how much he liked it. " 'Course I liked it."

Beach Bear seems to think on that for a moment. Then, finally, "Alright. I'll try."

"Y- You sure?"

"Yeah," he says. "What's your favorite Monkees song, Dook?"

"Uhh–" Now Dook feels on the spot. He skims through every Monkees song he can think of off the top of his head– "I guess, uh, 'Pleasant Valley Sunday,'" he finally offers.

Beach Bear grins. "Alright. I'll sing that, then."

Dook feels his face heat up, and he prays it's not visible. Beach Bear turns and re-enters the practice room without him, smiling the whole time. He's still running laps around him, even like this... Dook follows him inside. At least he gets to hear him sing again.

[simon-x-billy]

Simon x Billy

Year of the OTP: May

May Ch. 5: You look good. What happened?

May Prompt: Who Are You?

AN: I thought I’d already posted the May chapter?! Whoopsie. 🙊 Italy photos mine. Btw in case it was established too far back in the story for anybody but me to remember, the phrase ‘eye caterpillars’ = bushy eyebrows. 🐛 TW: Outdated references to hipsters. Use of bips. Irishisms. 2015. Picky eater. Fic rewrites. Utter lack of sex.

————/-/————

Masterlist || ao3 || Start: Jan || Prev: April || Next: June

————/-/————

May Chapter 5: You look good. What happened?

————/Billy/————

"You came!” I’ll admit I’m amazed to see Simon Lewis emerge from the depths of the Naples train station blinking at the full force of the Mediterranean sun. It was only just last night he decided to come back and here he appears before me less than 24 hours later. I pull the muppet in for some back-thumping. “What’d you do, y’madman? Drive straight to the airport?”

“Yeah, basically.” He’s grinning, and I can hear the giggle barely contained by his words. “Walked up and bought a ticket right there at the counter, just like in a movie. I am both a baller and a shot caller.”

Billy and the baller/shot-caller.

I can’t help but chortle. “Obviously.” Certo.

“It was iconic. Sexy. I am a sexy icon of bad-assery with balls and shots called. On two continents.” He holds up two fingers, unconsciously forming a symbol that could potentially be misconstrued in Italy. It definitely would be misconstrued back home. But no one’s paying us any mind.

“Look at your man now. Aren’t you just the sexiest Simon ever to have a bad ass.”

“I know, right?” He presents his fist. In a news announcer’s voice he announces, “We fist bump because we’re men, the moment calls for it, and the enthusiasm is infectious.”

“Em, Simon. I think you’re thinking out loud again.”

“Whatever. Don’t care. Too psyched to be here to berate myself for cringey habits.”

This fun Simon is a little different to the one I’ve been texting. He’s a bit more loquacious, this one. Less Hemingway and more, em, I dunno, Simon Lewis I suppose.

“And no more crying chibi Simon,” he declares, as if he needs to be very clear on this point. “I drowned him in the East River – purely figuratively, of course, but it does count. So he’s not along for the ride this time. He cannot steal my bad-ass thunder.”

I can’t help snorting, but before I can give him proper grief for his ass thunder, he stops me with his hand up. “No, no. Don’t bother. It’s true. I didn’t think that one through.”

Tossing his bags in the boot, I feel honor-bound to point out, “I never had you down as a murderer. Plot thickens.”

————/Simon/————

“So where to, mate?” Billy changes the subject to our more immediate, practical concerns.

“I don’t really care, as long as it’s not the hotel. I want to do something. Any thing will do, as long as we have to actively go do it.”

“Right,” he says.

“So where to, mate?” I ask in return.

“Sorrento. Nah-bip-bip-bip I’m not finished. The actual town of Sorrento — or at least the marina. That’s where dinner’ll be.”

“Aren’t you working?” I whip out my ol’ faithful suspicious-side-eye expression. Yeah it’s a predictable choice, but I’m suspicious, so I’m looking at him from the corner of my eye with suspicion. It’s how it’s done, how else am I supposed to do it?

“Nah, man. I took the night off. And anyway, pickin you up is a job all its own, innit,” he teases. He’s teasing.

“That’s all I am to you, a job, isn’t it.” I sniff back my hypothetical tears. “No, but seriously, thanks Billy. For the ride. And for taking the night off. Appreciate you, man.”

“Well, I figured you’re not likely to have a girl already. So it was safe to assume you’d be free for dinner. And I wanted to get you down to town. You can’t be eatin every meal at the hotel.”

“Don’t want to, anyway. I’m here to do it right this time,” I promise him.

Heaving a sigh of relief he says, “Thank Christ,” in the general skyward direction of God on high.

“Thanks, Billy.”

“Acourse, mate.”

“No really. Thanks, Billy.”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

————/-/————

“Oh look, he’s back. Where’d you go?” Billy asks me with amusement. He’s amused.

Eloquently, I inquire, “Huh?”

“You disappeared. You do that a lot, mate.”

“Don’t you need an amulet for that?”

“Funny.” Apparently it’s not.

“Y’know, if I could have worked hit points into the books, I totally would have. It just wasn’t the right tone.” I put on a dreamy voice. “Not all dreams come true, Lewis, not all.”

“What are you on about?”

“Books. I write,” I qualify, just to clear up any confusion.

He turns to look at me (taking far too long without his eyes on the road in my opinion). What, is he trying to decide if I look authorly? “That's great, man,” he says. “Where’d you post them?”

“Post them?” Um. “Oh, you mean putting the chapters up online?”

Billy nods. I’m forced to assume I don’t look authorly.

“What kind of stories do you write?” he asks as he skirts a delivery truck driving in reverse down the middle of the road. I decide that it’s best to pretend it’s not actually happening and stare at the view instead.

“Paranormal Urban Fantasy. Never Suburban Fantasy, though, just so you know,” I offer. “I leave that to the experts. Write what you know, you know?”

He chuckles. One of those real ones, despite my not even remotely deserving it. “Cool man,” he says. “Send me a link.”

“Um, ok.” I mean, he could just google me, but whatever.

————/-/————

“All right, mate?” he asks.

“Yeah! Of course!” I say brightly (maybe a little too brightly). I look around me at the bustling noon hour in the center of Sorrento with only the tiniest hint of hesitation. Because, really, it’s just the tiniest hint of a town. He doesn’t notice my case of nerves, thank God. I could not be more embarrassing.

Sorrento; Marina Grande is at bottom right

“All right, then,” he says with a nod, followed by an arching eye caterpillar. “But hear this, Simon. If you get gelato before I get back, that’s it man, we’re not friends.”

“Wow. That’s a little extreme, Billy. On the upside, does that mean we’re BFFs forever if I wait for you?”

“That’s redundant,” he points out.

“What?!” I fix the pointy fucker with my very best shocked-and-offended face, and clutch my figurative pearls. “I am not redundant and I never will be. How dare you.” (The groaning you’re emitting from your throat is ok with me. Really.)

“Ah, go on man, that’s two forevers. It’s excessive, innit. Are yeh really expectin me to serve two consecutive life sentences of best-best friend-friend?”

“Yeah, ok. I’m good with that. We’ll be BFFs forever twice. Like Outkast – forever-ever.” I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, I am for reals.

“I give up,” he says, rolling his eyes. Which offends me. Because I’m the eye-roller. He’s the head-shaker. And he’s stealing my gig.

“So that means I can go ahead and get gelato without you? I mean, you said you give up.”

“Fucksake, Simon, but you’re a pain in my arse.”

“You love it,” I grin at him. “What’s gelato?”

“Fucksake, Simon!” He repeats (redundantly!) and commences the head shaking.

“And how do I find it?” I continue, undaunted.

“All right, look,” he sighs. “The tourist shops are up thatta way. Walk round, buy some shit. Then be back here by half twelve, and wait for me gettin off the bus.”

“Bus? I thought you were parking the car.”

He looks as though he’d like to strangle me.

“No, seriously,” I assure him. “I thought you were just parking the car.” I shoot him a combo of the I’m-about-to-get-in-trouble puppy face, and the but-you-love-me-anyway puppy face. It’s all in the eyes. Make ‘em huge and glisten. Works on Ma every time.

But not on Billy, it turns out. Tough crowd. Instead, he just laughs and laughs. Which is actually quite a thing to behold. And whoa, he’s just walked over and I’m being wrapped up in an actual hug. Like, a real one. Right now.

“I’m glad you’re here, mate,” he says warmly. “It’s good to see yeh.”

I don’t remember the last time somebody really hugged me. Apart from Ma, obviously. Certo. I kinda want another one. But he’s back in the car and pulling the old Mercedes out into traffic.

OK, so…

I’ve got some alone time on my hands. I clap, all ready to go, but then I notice how weird I am and shove my hands in my pockets.

So I hang out on a park bench a bit and watch Billy get stuck in a traffic jam — while the drivers of two cars stop in the center of their respective lanes, for the express purpose of double kissing each others’ cheeks in greeting. I’ve just decided that I need to start an “Only In Italy” list. Which means I need a pad of paper and pencil. Don’t judge my medieval writing implements of choice.

————/-/————

The pencil and paper-finding mission takes over an hour, because I keep asking people for “llaves.” Which, it turns out, means keys. In Spanish. Dios mio, I suck at Italian.

I mean, can you blame me? I never bothered learning more, cuz I didn’t plan to come back anytime soon. Cuz, you know, painful. But then I realized I actually missed Italy. In all senses of the word, but most especially in the wistful, nostalgic sense of the word. And I guess that’s a pretty normal reaction when it comes to people thinking about their trips to Italy.

Plus, I actually know someone who lives here.

————/-/————

Ok, so I’m back where I’m supposed to wait for Billy.

I had hoped for an I heart Italy pen, but apparently that’s only a thing in the US. Here, it turns out they have taste.

And I still don’t know what gelato is. But at least now I do know how beautiful this town is. And how great the Italian people are. At trying not to laugh at you to spare your feelings.

While the entire city looks like burnished yellow gold when seen from a distance, up close there’s more variety. Like the chaotic good mix of blaringly bright tiled roofs. I’ve taken pictures of everything so I can practice my wistfully-nostalgic face again at a future date.

Chaotic good, no?

I’ve chosen a pretty cool spot for people-watching. Everywhere I look, life is happening there. Big, boisterous aliveness. It’s so weird. And also instantaneously addictive.

Ok, so:

Only In Italy

The sky turns lavender. I remember that from last time.

People park their cars at home and take a bus. (Ok, I suppose bridge and tunnel people do that, too. But the vibe is so much more ‘tiny Italian village’ here than in Brooklyn.)

There is only one road. The bus drives back and forth on the one road. For the entirety of this coastline, to get to any of the towns. No, seriously. I don’t think I’m adequately expressing this concept. (And my writer ego is taking a hit because of it.) From Naples (huge industrial port city) directly to Salerno (the next huge industrial port city wayyyyy down the coast), there is a big highway. But that highway doesn’t do shit for you if you want to see any of the seaside towns in-between. For every last one of the tiny towns lining the Bay of Naples, then down and around the whole Sorrentine Peninsula, and aaaall the way to the end of the Amalfi coastline, there is one road. One. Which means that anyone living in the town of, say, Sorrento, has one road – one road!!! – to get the fuck out of town. You either turn right, or you turn left. Your only way in, your only way out. That is nuts. Right? That’s nuts!

Locals have no problem with interrupting all traffic on that one road, by stopping their cars in the middle of their lane and getting out, just to double air kiss the oncoming driver who is now holding up traffic in the opposite direction. And no one (no one!!!) is offended by this. No one seems to realize they have a horn they can honk at precisely these moments. I am mentally horn-honking so hard rn.

Lines painted on the road are purely suggestions. Especially when there are cars idling in the middle of the road for cheek kissing purposes.

I don’t even know what to say about delivery trucks driving in reverse on the one road.

————/-/————

I look up from my Only In Italy list, startled by the squeal of the wheels on the bus trying to stop going round and round. And now I’m watching the bus disgorge a few tourists, a bunch of locals, and an Irishman.

You know, we really are an unlikely pair to form a friendship under unlikely circumstances. But I think I actually needed Billy in a way. I can be a pretty miopic guy, and Billy managed to pull me out of my tunnel vision, preoccupations, and woe-is-me’ing. And he’s done it more than once over the course of our acquaintance. All via text, which I find quite impressive. That is some potent friending.

I need to figure out how to thank him for that without making it weird. Cuz, I mean, things got pretty weird over the last several months, but neither of us is acting uncomfortable or hesitant now. He’s too laid back for that. There is one thing I can say without reservation: Billy Delaney is a good human being. A mensch, in other words.

I think I needed him in order to get over myself, and that is a bizarre thought.

“Look at the state of yeh. Writin away with your nose buried in a book, right where I left yeh. When you should be lookin about. Unbelievable you are, man.”

“My nose — which cannot write, by the way — is buried in a book precisely because I’ve been looking around. I’ve started an Only In Italy list. Submissions welcome.”

That earns me a Billy snort. Among the best snorts out there, actually, is a snort from Billy. How can he be so smooth yet still be such a dork? A dork who got lucky and grew into his – I surreptitiously look him up and down — well, his everything. Bastard.

And that’s not even why everybody loves him! He’s just a fuckin cool dude. Who likes people. And the whole Irish thing doesn’t hurt.

“So where to, man, where to?” he asks with a wide smile, interrupting my thoughts.

“I dunno. You’re the Italian. Let’s do Italian stuff. Like maybe get an overly caffeinated coffee beverage.”

“I am an Irishman, and you could be a tourist if you ever figure out how. You tourist first, and write about it after. Not during. How can you be so self-aware and so clueless?” Billy asks.

My breath catches in my heart. He thinks I’m self-aware?

“You think I’m self-aware?” I can tell I’ve got glistening eyes and they did it all on their own without prompting by my brain. I’d feel like king of the world if I was in Bushwick right now, and everyone within earshot heard him tell me I’m self-aware. And he doesn’t even know what kind of cred he’s just awarded me. “Thanks,” I hiccup.

“Why’re yeh lookin at me with love heart eyes? I just insulted you,” he asserts.

“Did you?”

“Called you clueless, didn’t I.”

Big, breathy sigh. “Didn’t notice. Don’t care. Can I hold your hand right now? We can go have a nice, romantic stroll thru the Italians. You can show me this gelato I’ve heard so much about.” I flutter my eyelashes, and take his hand in both of mine.

“Get off, you muppet,” he laughs, as he tries to extract his hand from my strong and persistent hand-holding.

Not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but a laughing Billy Delaney is something to see. His whole face splits into the widest grin and it lingers long after the laughing’s stopped.

“Oh my god, they are so hot together.” It’s a young woman’s voice coming from somewhere close by. “Oh my god, look at them.”

We both must share a brain because we both swivel to see who the hot people are. I mean, it’s the Medi/Tyrrhenian. It’s an innately sexy place, and people are just kinda generally super-hot here, and remarkably comfortable with being almost uncomfortably sexy.

“So unfair,” moans her friend. I agree completely.

Not finding the hotness they’re referring to, Billy and I both discreetly turn toward the shops to see who’s talking.

“Do you think we can turn them?” another female voice asks. They both dissolve into giggles.

I’m not spotting them. “Can you tell who-”

Billy says under his breath, “By the lemons.”

Guest starring: Two fangirls and lemons the size of your head.

As he and I both lock eyes with the girls, they spin into each other and start giggling as they stare at their phones comparing their stolen shots.

Billy’s caterpillars try to meet in the middle. “Aren’t they a little young to be lookin at us like-” he begins.

“Oh my god!” I stand bolt upright. “That’s where the gelato comes from!!! Billy. Billy, can we please, Billy? I will embarrass you if you don’t stand up immediately and show me which thing I should be pointing at when I ask for it.���

“How do you plan to embarrass me? What, you’ll start jumping up and down while clapping?” he challenges me.

In all seriousness I turn to him. “I’ve done it before. I’ll do it again.” I give him an arched caterpillar of my own, attempting intimidation-and-impending-threat face.

The two girls are squealing to each other, hiding behind their hair.

“To the gelato man!” I point boldly and decisively. “Let’s do this.”

Billy’s caterpillars are trying for a second kiss, as he rises slowly. He’s distracted.

“Why are you not running at the gelato man with me?” I hold my hand out to him. His caterpillars have graduated to blatant frowning at the girls after another particularly sonic squeal.

“Come on, Billy. That’s got to be too young for you,” I tease. “I hope.”

“How could you even suggest-” Ladies and gents, I give you horrified-face, Billy Delaney style. I give him a playful push to reassure him I’m just teasing, and that snaps him out of whatever bizarro universe he was temporarily trapped in.

His eyes snap up to see me laughing at his surprised, blinking eyes. “Come on, sweetheart, buy me a gelato. Honey, you promised.”

Head shaking follows, of course. Certo. As we approach the stall, he keeps sneaking glances between the girls and me. “What the fuck, Simon?” he whispers, while surreptitiously watching them over my shoulder.

We’ve reached the gelato man. Billy offers to order. “What kind?”

“The biggest kind,” I shrug. He snorts and turns to the gelato man. I decide to put the girls out of their misery while Billy is focused on purchasing whatever it is.

“Oh my god, it’s him! It’s really him!” one of the girls hisses, then they look away quickly as their cheeks turn strawberry in mortification.

“Excuse me, um, sir?” the blonde girl squeaks, while progressing from strawberry straight to raspberry. It’s always endearing. I can’t help it. I know what it is to belong to a fandom. Like, being the fan, so I get it.

“Hi,” I approach, and awkwardly raise my hand in greeting.

“It’s really you,” the brunette whispers.

“I can be only one. Y’know, cuz, like, Highlander? No? Ok. Well, hi. I’m-”

“Simon is Simon,” whispers the brunette.

“The one, and the same. Both of us.” I am so embarrassing right now. But they are equally horrified at themselves. So, its a party.

“Can we have a picture?” They turn their pleading puppy eyes on me.

I have to admit, “Your puppy eye game is strong, girls. Practice, grasshoppers. Keep at it, and one day maybe you’ll be pro level like me.” This gets them giggling again. But they’re relaxing the adrenaline a bit.

By the time Billy returns with his booty, the three of us are comparing which of the puppy eye shots should go on Instagram first. I’ve already made my preferences for #2 known, and I’m ready to disengage.

I look up. “It’s ice cream?” I stand and give the girls hugs again.

“Thanks, Simon! We love you so much,” they sigh. Then, looking down at their phones they charge into the street, nearly walking right into an old lady carrying a salami so long that it’s an obscene parody of itself.

“Tag me!” I shout after them.

Mental note: “Only in Italy #7. Old Lady with huge salami that she didn’t buy at Katz’s.” Instead, she’s clearly coming from a shop with “Salumeria” over the door. A frickin salami store. I love this place and never want to leave.

“The deli?” Billy asks, shocking the shit out of me.

“How do you know about Katz’s?! Send a salami to your boy in the army? I’ll have what she’s having?”

“You talk in your sleep, mate,” he replies, straightfaced.

“But- I mean. Cuz like, we’ve never-” I stutter. Great. I’m stuttering.

He’s laughing at me. Which I’m ok with.

“Ow!” he barks, after I slap him in the arm. “Is this how you treat all your dates? Just shush.”

My mouth snaps shut. I am just as surprised about it as he is.

“On your first night in Italy – now don’t interrupt, your last trip never happened – I am honored to introduce you to, nay, expose you to the most Only In Italy thing for your list. The ‘passeggiata.’”

“The what now? Passage otta?”

“Close enough. La passeggiata happens every single night, tourist season or not. Big city or tiny village. Before dinner, everyone en masse decides to go for a walk in town. A lazy, amblin sort of people-watchin activity. Everywhere, the whole country. Late afternoon before dusk you stop and buy a gelato and eat it slowly while the world walks by.

“Passage otta,” I like the sound of that. In Manhattan we call that Times Square at 5pm. But without neon green milk-based product melting down your fingers. But then again, in Times Square you never know. “What the hell neon green thing did you buy me?”

“The biggest one,” he answers, passing it over with a bunch of napkins.

“Why is it the color of Mike Wazowski?” I demand in horror.

“Who?”

“Mike Wazowski! Mike Wazowski! Mike Wazowski. A triple Mike Wazowski: Bucket list, check.”

“Simon.”

“Mike Wazowski. But more importantly, why is it neon green? Doesn’t that mean it’s poisonous? Neon green is nature’s helpful way of warning us about impending doom. Like, did you know one tree frog contains enough poison to kill ten men?” Thanks, BBC. “So where do we go?” I ask.

“Let’s sit a spell over there. Ideal spot, really. Great view down the cliff to the Marina Grande on that side, and the high street shops over here.”

“The tiny tiny baby automobiles are sooooooo cute.”

“I’m partial to the Vespas,” he asserts.

“I want a tiny adorable Vespa so hard right now. Can we get a Vespa, Billy, please?” I plead. “But no, really. What’s with the green ice cream?”

“Simon. It is not ice cream. Say that within range of an Italian and you’re looking at prison I won’t know how to rescue you from.” He points at the cup. “Pistachio. One of the most iconic flavors. And a favorite of mine. Which means that if you hate it, which you won’t do, but if you do, this is a flavor I like enough to eat ‘the biggest one.’”

“How thoughtful of you.”

“I’m a very thoughtful person,” he promises with a sly smirk, which I assume people find sexy. Cuz it kinda is.

I elbow him in the ribs and he giggles. Billy giggles? This is new information. It’s kinda musical, like an arpeggio up the scale. Now I’ve got do-re-mi-fa-so stuck in my head from Sound of Music. Gross.

But I like this, sitting here watching the passage of people as they make their nightly parade. This is why people live here. It’s that big, boisterous aliveness I was thinking about earlier.

“Only in Italy #8: People take walks, not for exercise or the subway.”

Billy Delaney sighs. It’s true. He just did. Then guess what he says next. “Fucksake this is romantic.”

“I know, right?” What, it is.

“First time out of the United States?” he asks.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I feel like maybe I need to be offended.

“It just seems like, you know,” and he waives his hand at me as if that’s all the explanation necessary.

“I’ve been to other countries.”

“Oh yeah? Did it require leaving the North American continent?”

“Shut up. And stop laughing, you asshole,” I grouch at him, because I have been overseas — just not alone, is all. “But you know what you can talk about? How awesome and totally not ice cream this stuff is. It’s so creeeeeamy, and so light, and fresh, and not heavy at all, but still creeeeeeamy. And the Mike Wazowki flavor is really intense.”

“See? What’d I tell yeh?”

“Not much at all, actually,” I observe. He rewards me with the bark of a laugh.

After a few minutes watching la passeggiata in companionable silence, Billy prompts, “One thing I’ve been meaning to ask yeh. You talk a lot about writing. What’s that about?”

“I just love it. Never gets old. Hope it never does. But I can’t really see myself writing more than five or maybe six, tops. Tops,” I assure him.

“Five or six what?”

“Books.” Are we participating in the same conversation? “I’m late with the fourth because the fans want one featuring way more Simon Lewis with way more love story. And that can only be the case because the author, Simon Lewis, wrote himself into the story in the first place. There’s a hashtag for it #SimonIsSimon.” I heave a sigh as if the pressures of the world are far too much for little ol’ me to handle. Actually, “They get really into the whole #SimonIsSimon thing. People get tattoos! I’ve seen it online! Insane.”

“Simon is Simon,” he pauses. “Isn’t that a band?”

I shrug. “Could be. I guess.” I should look that up.

“So,” I continue, even though I’m already sick of the sound of my own voice. (I secretly fear that I might actually be kinda boring.) “Other Simon is this fictitious shoegazing hipster vampire, who lives in a book. Me Simon, is the author. It helps that we are a lovable dork,” I gesture at all of me to prove my point. “And in a love triangle. Dude. I even have my own #teamsimon. Which is super cute. It is also super weird, being a fan favorite.” Especially at the cons.

Billy sits forward. “Hang on, hold up. There’s a fan favourite?”

“Several fan favorites. All the main characters have their Big Moments in the series. Now I have to just suck it up and come up with the right romantic destiny for Other Simon. Cuz right now, there are two girls crushing on him. It just took until book 4 before I’m finally willing to let that happen.”

“Is this online somewhere? Like a blog or something?”

My first instinct is that he must be ‘taking my piss,’ or something gross like that, so I shoot him a glare. But now he looks so earnest that I feel like maybe we really aren’t in the same conversation.

I can feel my glare turning confused. My mother says this expression makes me look like I’m sucking lemons and don’t know why. She calls it Confused Sourpuss. I have yet to come up with a polite, respectful way to say, “Shut up, Ma.”

“Online? Well, yeah. I mean- There’s the fan wiki. But honestly, I’d just recommend starting with the blurbs on my website if you want to decide if it’s worth your time.”

Apparently Confused Sourpuss is not conducive to conversation. He stretches, and stands, then bumps my shoulder. “Come on, mate, let’s get outta here. Day’s marchin on, and you haven’t been down to the marina, yet. La passeggiata happens down there, too.”

————/-/————

No. I’m not afraid of heights. No, really. I’m not!

It’s more like I’m afraid of stairs. Especially stairs like these.

The Hell Stairs. Simon is overreacting.

Billy’s way ahead of me, because of course he is. Just trotting down them, every switchback. Meanwhile, I’m pretending I’m actually trotting when really I’m clinging to medieval stone walls rising vertically like the face of a cliff.

Sure, there are handrails. To keep you alive and all, but just like, one continuous wobbly pipe to hold onto all the way down. And there are at least 100 switchbacks. At least.

I guess it’s a tourist thing. “You have to take the stairs - at least do it once,” he said. “And it’s the fastest route down to the marina.”

He said “marina,” and I pictured lazily strolling around, some restaurants, some shops, stop a couple times for too much caffeine. “Good sunset, too,” he promised. So I was all up for it, and now I’m breathing rapidly and sweating – for anxiety reasons, not physical exertion reasons.

It gets chillier the farther we descend.

This could actually be a really frickin cool setting for a scene with the vamps. Why climb the stairs when you can scale the old medieval walls, am I right?

Billy’s voice hits me, and I swear I almost jump out of my skin and die. And have an asthma attack. (Fuck Other Simon for not having asthma. Bastard.)

I have no idea what he’s just said, because the sound of his voice is bouncing unintelligibly off the walls.

Attempting not to be a Loud American is a major fail, because I’m shouting, “Buongiorno!” and, “Arrivaderci!” so I can listen to the echo ricochet. And it’s awesome how the faint sound of passing cars way below lends a sort of staticky background noise as it travels up the height.

Billy stops laughing at me and tries to muster the balls to shout. Irishmen. Feh. Sometimes it’s useful to be an American. Especially when absolute dickheadery is necessary. Good thing I’m here.

“Just shout something, already! We can pretend you’re American, if that makes you feel any better!” I shout down to him.

All I get is a thousand rebounding “What???”s in return.

When we finally get down to sea level and emerge from the Hell Stairs, we find our way over to the Marina Grande. I want to kiss the ground now that I’m back on it, but determine that it might cause some concern amongst passersby.

Billy looks grimly at me. “You, my friend, must prepare for some of the best seafood of your life. An orgasm on your tongue.”

Um, “Hey now. That’s a little too visual, thanks.”

“Just don’t go makin yourself sick with too much cappuccino.” He scratches at the five o’clock shadow on his chin, looking thoughtful. “Will it deter you if I threaten to get really mad at you if you ruin your appetite? Or are you more likely to get too much cappuccino just to spite me?”

I gasp. “You get me, Billy. You totally get me.” I wipe away my imaginary tears. “It’s so nice when someone totally understands me and everything about me. Come on, buddy. Bring it in,” I say with my arms outstretched for a hug.

He unceremoniously declines.

————/-/————

Billy knocks back the last of his cappuccino. I’m still only two sips into mine.

I feel like I might hate biscotti. They seem like a thing I would hate. Mine’s just staring at me from its plate, looking all rock-like, with pebbles of almonds and whatever greenish nuts get put in biscotti. Are you supposed to suck on them til they finally soften? Dunk ‘em? No thanks. I push them across the table at him.

“So what’s it like, trying to be an author?” he asks.

I’m kinda amazed that he’s remotely interested. But he still doesn’t seem to get it. “Um, I am.”

“You ‘am’ what?” he asks.

“An author. Like, a published one.” His caterpillars arch upward in a rather gratifying fashion. Even if that makes me an asshole, I’m still an asshole who just wants people to be impressed with how awesome I am at all times. Just because I’m not 15 anymore doesn’t mean I’m not 15 on the inside. Especially as I get older, but Other Simon stays the same age.

“What’s that like?”

“Um…” Now I kinda feel like I’d be dishonest if I let him continue to think in the wrong scale. “Ok, so I’m just going to level with you. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”

“Nah, man, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’re really good.” He’s looking at me with fondness and with pity. That’s a pretty advanced level facial expression. And it’s infuriating.

“Billy? Don’t try to be nice, just shoosh.” Am I a terrible person for enjoying watching his trap swing shut?

“I am the author of three novels so far, in an open-ended supernatural urban fantasy series.”

“Hang on, hold up. How old are you?! You can’t be old enough to have written three whole novels.”

“Started writing the first one when I was 15.”

“Oh, right? That’s great man, really ambitious for a kid to have a big dream like that. And you’re still at it?”

“Billy, I swear to God. If you don’t stop prematurely trying to make me feel better I’m going to kick you in the shin. So yeah. Three books. That have been published. In roughly 30 languages.” I’m not really a fame whore, but I have to admit to enjoying watching his eyes bulge, his mouth purse, and his face turn pink. Now it has turned thoughtful.

“Did you- Wait. Did you write The Shadow Instruments?”

I grimace.

“My cousin loves those books! Has done since she was 15,” he declares.

“Sounds about right. I’ll sign a copy if you think she’d like that.” Then it hits me. “Ugh, I sound like such an asshole.” My red forehead feels cool against the marble table top where we’ve stopped to enjoy one of those overly caffeinated beverages they invented here.

He’s been silent a little too long.

Oh. That’s why. He’s googling me. I want to die. I’m leaving everything to my sister. My forehead returns to the table top. It’s less embarrassing there.

“Fuck me,” he says.

“No thanks,” I mumble. “We’ve only just met.”

“That’s not true,” he says absentmindedly, his attention still 99% focused on what he’s reading.

“It’s called artistic license. And you’ve only just met the new and improved Simon Lewis. Crying chibi Simon Lewis drowned the other day. Memorial donations go to the charity of your choice.”

“Huh?” Then he goes silent.

“There’s something fundamentally wrong with you being quiet. It’s unnatural. I don’t trust it.”

“Just thinking, that’s all,” he answers.

“You’re thinking thoughts. Great.”

“Do you narrate everything in your head? The way you talk it sounds like you’ve got a running commentary goin on up there. At all times.”

“Accurate.”

“Is that what makes you a good author?”

“Who says I’m a good author?”

“My formerly 15 year old cousin,” he says with a smirk. He’s smirking. Great.

“She would know,” I say, nodding. “Everybody loved the thought of a 15 year old writing about young people his own age. ‘Such an original voice,’ they said. ‘A breath of fresh air in a genre full of middle-aged women writing for tweens,’ they said. Nevermind that YA is not for tweens. They’d know that if they bothered to read one. My characters are underage killers! Of people and things! And when they get older, I’m going to make them swear. And maybe there’ll be sex scenes. I’ve been researching.”

“You had to do research for the sex scenes?” He looks disbelieving and confused. It’s very squinty.

“Well, they’re sorta…I dunno…I mean- cuz there’s kinda, like, these two boy-” Yeah, and that requires some research.

He’s not even listening. He’s back to googling. When he finally looks up again he says, “I’ll take that signed copy.”

————/Billy/————

The sound of doors openin makes me glance up at the cafe, and there is a proper stunner driftin out like an apparition. Actually, I see her more as a Mata Hari, in all her floatin, gauzy scarves she’s wearin as a cover up for her bikini. And they’re not doin a damn thing to cover her up. She looks Italian, all tanned olive skin and dark hair, but there’s just something different to her. In her manner maybe.

Her fingers are flashing big bits of rock, her eyes are hidden by absurdly oversized black sunglasses with a logo I’m supposed to recognize, and she’s sportin a huge black hat with a brim so wide, it’s a miracle she’s got a tan at all. If I could guess, she’s off one of them yachts out there in the deep waters beyond the marina.

And she’s makin straight for me. Hmmmm. What can I say? It happens.

“Simon Lewis,” she purrs.

Oh. Right.

“Sabina,” he answers drily. I must say I’m surprised. Seems Simon’s got some game.

He stands and they air kiss each other on both cheeks. “Now,” he says, gesturing outward as if he’s indicating all of Italy, “I get why you’re always kissing everybody.”

So she looks Italian, kisses like an Italian, but doesn’t sound at all Italian. It’s a weird accent I can’t quite identify. And I’ve a pretty good ear.

“Why are you in Italy?” she asks.

“Why are you?” Game on, Simon!

“Oh, you know how it always is,” she sighs in boredom. “I’ve got a couple gigs here and there.”

“On the Amalfi Coast?” he asks.

“Oh, you know,” she trails her fingertips along our table, “some people, some parties, Capri, Naples.”

I stand and pull out a chair, finally remembering my manners. “Will yeh join us?”

The way she pulls her sunglasses down her nose and scans me from top to toes, I’ve never felt so much like man meat — at least never with my clothes still on. “Hello,” she says. “Haven’t you got good eyes. And a good face. And-“

“Sabina, this is my BFF forever, Billy Delaney. He’s Irish,” Simon qualifies, as if that explains something. What’s that supposed to mean?

I hold out my hand, but she’s already turned all her attention back to Simon, giving him the same up and down appraisal as she’s done me. “You look good, Simon. What happened?” she asks.

I don’t think I’m takin much of a likin to her. Her compliments sound a mite like insults.

“Nevermind,” she cuts him off. “No time, they’re waiting,” she says, gesturing toward the marina. “You should come to my show this weekend in Naples,” she says, taking Simon’s new notebook and writing something inside.

“Is there a venue the right size for you guys?”

“No no. Not with the band. It’s just a tiny little gig I’ve got spinning at an underground club no one is supposed to know about. You know the ones. Come.”

“Maybe,” he says blandly. Stone Cold Simon Lewis, ladies and gents. Who knew?

Her eyes bounce back and forth between Simon and me. “Billy,” she says, dismissively. I don’t think a girl has ever spoken to me like that in my life. Before I can speak, she’s turning to Simon and kissing him full on the mouth. “Ciao, Simon,” she purrs again. Then she floats off in a swirl of gauze that barely covers her assets.

I don’t think I’ll be missin her company overmuch. And yet, as a consummate wingman I still find myself asking, “Why didn’t yeh get her number?”

“Oh, I already got her number,” he says. “And she already shot me down.”

————/Simon/————

Just a short walk beyond the marina, the restaurant is on the water. Literally. I can hear the sea sloshing peacefully against the foundations at our feet.

They’ve seated us at a table against a wall of windows that runs the entire length of the restaurant. Even if the food isn’t orgasmic the way Billy promised, I could sit here for hours just looking.

Billy sees the rapt expression on my face, and says quietly, “Just wait til you see the sunset.”

And suddenly we’re ordering. Billy has chosen some really unappealing stuff. But for me he immediately orders a lobster, and smiles to himself as if he knows something I don’t. Which is likely how to speak Italian. Or how to cook.

While we’re waiting on our Neapolitan style sardines (which I am really not looking forward to), Billy asks, “You wrote yourself into the book and y’didn’t let yourself get the girl? What’s the point, if you don’t win in the end?” He’s looking at me as though he’s never seen me before, or at least has never mistaken me for an amoeba before.

“Oh, we won in the end.” Pfft, did we. “Yes. Yes, we did. I am very proud of our having won that war, by the way. It was close, til Other Simon mans the fuck up. Vamps the fuck up, really. And oh my God does he. Big displays of courage. And facial tattoos. But whatever.”

“Right. Now stop speaking in inside references and get on with it, man.”

“Dude, don’t ask the impossible. I was born a hipster. You can’t just unhipster at the drop of a hat. Seriously, it’s a lifestyle.”

And yes, fictitious audience in my head, you might be shocked and dismayed to discover that hipsters actually do refer to themselves as hipsters. Out loud. Without irony.

“So yeah,” I continue. “We won in the end. And I kinda sorta got the girl. The wrong one. For like 5 seconds.”

The waiter appears with olives, bread for dipping in very expensive oil virginally pressed from local olives, and the Pinot Grigio Billy requested. He didn’t just choose the wine. He selected it. From roughly page nine in the wine portfolio. They didn’t call it a portfolio, but I feel like they should have. Sounds vaguely Italian and schmancier than ‘wine list.’ The waiter assures us that the sardines will be ready shortly.

————/-/————

Oh my god I can’t eat them, they have eyes. And tails, and everything in-between. And they’re way bigger than the tiny ones in tins they stick on Caesar salad back home. They’re, like, actual fish-sized, if a little smaller than the usual dinner fish. And there are like twelve of them. WTF?

“They’ve been gutted,” Billy says, seeing my horror. As if that’s reassuring. “And the bones are tiny — they just add a little crunch.”

“Ew, gross!”

He’s laughing at me. “Simon. When in Italy…”

“When in Italy you eat fish whole? I’m going home.”

“Pull it off the bone. It’s delicate, so it’ll be easy. Like me to do it?”

“Yes, please. Then you should eat it.”

Billy sighs, and along comes my old friend, the shaking head. I roll my eyes quietly to myself.

He’s whisked away my plate and started a very careful, not at all easy-looking minor surgery on a small fish. For my benefit. “Thanks,” I say warily, when he hands it to me. I try pushing it around my plate to make it look like I’m eating it. “Yum,” I say.

“Simon, just stick the little grubber in your mouth.”

“And that’s supposed to make me want to eat this stuff? What’s a grubber?!”

“Simon.”

“Billy.”

“Please?” he says. “For me?”

Oh my god, does that work on people? Yes, because it works on me.

“Wow. It’s actually good.” And now that I’ve tried it, for him, I stop trying it. Because I’m no less grossed out, just cuz it tastes good.

Unfortunately, there is still the meat of ten sardines still left sitting on the plate. Not my problem, “I’ll just enjoy my Pinot Grigio. Holy shit is it good.”

Oh no. The waiter is heading this way with a very concerned look on his face.

“You are not liking the dish?” …of fish, I want to end the sentence for him like Dr. Seuss. But “merp” comes out instead.

“No, no Tomaso,” says Billy. “It’s lovely. He’s just American.”

“Hey!” I shout at him in my head. In real life, I nod in agreement.

“Ah. Si si si, certo,” says Tomaso, as if that explains everything. Which it kinda does. “Soon I bring to you il piatto secondo,” he assures me.

“But that’s not what I ordered,” I whisper to Billy when Tomaso walks away.

Billy’s eyes crinkle in amusement. “Second plate, that’s all, mate. Main course.”

My lobster arrives. Now this I know how to take apart and still want to eat it afterwards.

Guest starring: Mini fish and lobster. The sardines were awesome, btw. But there was freaking out about the ‘whole fish’ thing.

“Aw! They don’t debone the mini fish, but they’ll split the lobster? It’s the one thing I know how to eat with my hands, and they take that joy away from me? That is so not normal.”

Billy’s laughing. It’s a good sound. Makes me happy that he kinda seems to get me. And my humor. And he gets how to take me — with like a whole bunch of salt thrown over one’s shoulder.

“Respect the chef,” Billy says, raising his glass. “And to Poseidon, who gave us these frutti di mare. Fruits of the sea.”

We’re toasting-slash-praying to Poseidon now?

I pose the question, “Did you know that chicken of the sea is actually a fish?”

“Em…… Right, so it’s wise to toast Poseidon, mate. He has much power on this coastline. Ancient rocks full of Greek magic.”

But all rocks are ancient. Whatever. “Ok,” I raise my glass. “To the sea god. Also, are you like a closet mythological sea god fetishist?”

“Shut up and take a bite,” he commands. Frickin commands! I shiver.

I decide to play along and follow his command. “Oh my-“

“Stop there!”

Rude.

“Like wine, the very first taste is your first exposure to how the entire dish should taste at its very best.” Ohmygod he is so pretentious right now and I am loving it. “And with each bite, your mouth grows a little more accustomed to one or another part of the larger flavor, so that first bite is the fullness of what the chef intended you to experience. What do you taste?” he asks.

“Oh my god, Billy. Stage fright much? How am I supposed to follow that?”

“Simple question. What does it taste like?”

“Tomato…..that tastes really bright. Like sunshiney. Is that weird?

“That’s perfect. Keep going,” he encourages.

“But it’s not, like, tangy at all. It’s….velvety?”

He nods, “On the tongue.” It’s just a statement of fact, not sexy.

“And kinda more like a gravy. No, that’s totally wrong, cuz it’s not at all a gravy, but it is. I guess it’s rich. How can these tiny little tomatoes taste sunshiny and like gravy velvet.” I groan, “Why am I like this?”

“Nah, man. You’re just doin it right. What do you see on your plate?”

“There’s lobster. That’s part of the flavor, too, but not the loudest part. The silky sauce clings to every surface of the noodles. And these noodles are almost obscene. Who sells noodles like this?”

“Pasta, mate. And nobody sells it. The make it. Just saving you from unintentionally speaking inflaming remarks near a chef.”

“Thank you,” I nod. “It’s like you know me. Also, is it weird that I might have gotten a stiffie during all the food talk? Or maybe it’s the food itself….that you won’t let me eat.”

“Go on, man, go on,” he waves.

“Now you’re like, beckoning me to eat. Stop that. My dick is confused.”

Billy just says, “What did I tell you, mate? Next bite is the orgasm. You’ve already done the foreplay.”

“Stop it!”

He does. But, “You’re still smirking, so it’s like you’re still talking food porn.” Down, dick! Bad boy. Sit.

“Nah, man. You were the one talkin pornographic descriptions.”

“Oh, good,” I sigh a breath of relief. “So it was me that gave me wood, and not you. I’m less confused now.”

“It was four ingredients givin you a horn, man. Four total. What is visible on the plate and the oil in the pan at the start.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Apologies, Poseidon.

“Welcome to campania, the fertile, bountiful, fruitful.”

“Now my dick is confused by you being so over the top. Stop.” I take another bite and just roll the pasta around in my mouth. On my sophisticated palate. “I’ve died and gone to heaven.” I jump. “No! Wait. I’ve dined and gone to heaven.”

Billy is groaning loudly, but not in an appealing, sexy way. More like a way reflecting his complete disbelief at the quality of my punmanship. He’s heaving a sigh, as if I’ve pained his brain and sprained his sterling image of me. Nah, he knows me well enough to lack illusions about the varying quality of my puns.

“Lord, Simon.”

“I like the sound of that.”

Billy snarfs wine out his nose. Which makes me feel both good and sorry for him. “FUCK, not again!!!” he moans, holding his napkin to his face, and rocking back and forth in his chair.

“Again?” I have to know.

“Red wine is not quite as bad as vodka.”

I pull back sharply and hiss in sympathy.

Who hisses in sympathy?! Kill me now. Someone. Please.

“Where was this vodka incident?” I have to know.

“In a minute. First, put some food in yer mouth,” Billy directs me.

“Yes, sir!” I wink at him. But then I’m back to the potential for an orgasm on my tongue. “Oh, my god. What the- How- How is it even better than my short term memory of it?” The food has rendered me incoherent. God, I hate it when other people are totally right. It’s a character flaw. Whatever. “I just want to roll it around on my tongue for the rest of time.”

“Have yeh tried that line with a girl?”

Oh my god, I think I’m blushing. He just made me blush! How old am I? “Pishhh,” is the entirety of my answer, because sometimes Yiddish speaks louder than words.

“Don’t be embarrassed, mate. An orgasm on yer tongue, yeah?”

“Oh my god,” is how brilliant at speaking I am right now. “Yes, I can feel my panties getting wet as we speak. Oh! And I’d like to bathe in this. Do you think they could arrange that? I’ve always wanted to bathe in pasta. And being that this is the best pasta on earth, I really do deserve the very best bathing experience, too.”

“Stop while you’re ahead, Simon.”

“Ouch! And yeah, baby. Come to daddy. You beautiful lobster, you.” I am not flying my fork around like an airplane at a fine dining establishment. But I did consider it. “Y’know it’s funny. It never occurred to me that there might be lobsters outside of Maine.”

Billy slumps (theatrically, I might add), then empties the rest of the bottle of wine into his glass.

————/Billy/————

“You cold?” Simon asks, then tosses the shirt he’s had tied round his waist at me. “You shivered.”

I must not have heard whatever he said next, cuz Simon is asking. “What?” And his eye caterpillars are creased together. Now he’s laughing. “You should see your face!” It’s said with humor, but I must have flinched. The smile has begun a decided slide as if gravity had something to do with it.

“Thanks, mate,” I manage, trying not to show how much that simple observation has affected me. Nobody ever notices stuff like that with me. Or actually pays attention after they ask how I am. I’m used to it. But here comes this lunatic in front of me, and he bothers to notice that I’m cold. I don’t know what to do with it. I am at a loss.

“Sure, whatever.” He leads us through the door and back to the street.

“Wait.” He’s stopped in his tracks. “We’re not going back up the hell stairs. No fucking way.”

I raise my hands and shrug, because yeah, “That was the plan.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me. No fucking way.” He makes me watch him put his foot down.

“What, man, are you scared?”

“Yes!” he splutters.

“Don’t want to break a sweat? Or worried about a fall to yer death?”

“No and yes, in order. Asshole! And here I thought you were this big-hearted guy, but you’re just a tall, handsome, Irish, Mean Girl. I thought you were better than that, Billy.”

“I’m still stuck in the beginning part where you think I’m handsome?”

Simon gives me a dramatic shocked-horrified look.

Now this is the part where I start wondering again… “Theatre school, Simon. Admit it.”

“Dammit! You asshole,” he says, raising a finger to make his point.

“What did I do?” I demand. “Yeh needn’t be very embarrassed about the theatre school. It’s only really just a wee bit embarrassing. Just a wee bit,” he reiterates.

“You wish you went to theatre school,” he sneers.

“And there it is, ladies and gentleladies, the truth. Theatre school.” I’m laughing, I mean Jaysus, what else am I supposed to do with that?

He rolls his eyes. “Imagine you at theatre school. You’d prolly get a movie like the first thing you tried out for. That face, Jesus. Sometimes I kind of hate you. I mean, not like, a lot. Just enough to thumb my nose at God and say, ‘He could be better, y’know, God. Somewhere is a flaw, I know it.’”

Now he’s eyeballing me. “Your turn to look for it, God. I need a break.”

Now Simon is turning to me with a discomfiting curiosity. “Have you ever been shot down? Like by a girl.”

I’m speechless. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? It’s not like he wants to hear the truth. “What the fuck, Simon. What’re yeh on about? What’s gotten into yeh, man?”

“You’re avoiding, redirecting. That means you’ve never been shot down, have you?”

The good thing about this idiocy is that we’ve reached the stairs, and he still hasn’t noticed.

“I’ll tell yeh this, mate. Your girl, Sabina – she had no eyes for me, man. If I’d have tried it on with her, she’d’ve definitely shot me down. It was rather an emasculatin feelin, all told. I hope to never repeat it.”

He’s smiling and keeps climbing.

Until, “And you asshole! For making me climb these fucking stairs!”

————/-/————

Masterlist || ao3 || Start: Jan || Prev: April || Next: June wip!

————/-/————

[fanficimagery]

Miscommunication

You practically throw yourself at your best friend, only to be rejected.

Or were you?

Words: 4.1K Author’s Note: I, uh, I have nothing. I wrote this while having covid. It was the only thing my brain let me complete.

Walking down the side of the empty road, you hug your jacket a little tighter to your body and pray no wild animal leaps from the surrounding woods to attack you in such a vulnerable state. Normally you'd get a ride from your best friend, but you'd just made an absolute fool of yourself and the last thing you want is to see him right now. Or for the rest of the week for that matter.

Tripping and stumbling over gravel and twigs, you curse your lowered inhibitions and wonder how you're going to move on from this. As you're walking, you see lights appear on the road from behind you. They get bright and brighter, and your heart beats faster and faster.

Grimacing, you quickly wipe away your tears. "Please don't be-" An all too familiar blue Camaro slows to a stop next to you and you heave a sigh of relief before grimacing for a whole different reason. "Hargrove, out for a late-night drive?"

Leaning over his seats, Billy glances through the passenger window. "YN YLN? What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Oh, you know, just thought I'd go out for a stroll."

"In the middle of fuckin' nowhere?" He scoffs. He then reaches for the handle and opens the door. "Get in."

"It's fine. I can walk."

"Get in the goddamn car, YN."

You briefly weigh your options before deciding that you don't actually want to walk home in the dark. So, bending at the waist, you peer in through the opened door. "No funny business?"

"Believe it or not, princess, I know that no means no. And to not take advantage of a girl when she's clearly been crying." You wince and then quickly drop into his passenger seat, shutting the door right after. Billy throws his car into drive and takes off, raising the volume to the radio to keep the atmosphere of the car from becoming too uncomfortable. After a couple of minutes, he asks, "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," you mumble.

"Can't be that bad."

You scoff and keep your gaze straight ahead. "It's.. more embarrassing than anything."

"Well now you gotta tell me."

You sniffle some more and gulp down the forming lump in your throat. "Why? We're not exactly friends." You wince as you hear the words leave your mouth and see Billy's hands clench around the steering wheel. "Sorry, that sounded more bitchy out loud than it did in my head."

"Had this been any other day, you'd be right." He shrugs and then, "So come on. For one night only you can spill all the nitty gritty secrets and I'll never bring it up again."

"Yeah. Right."

He slowly smirks. "Fine. I won't use it as blackmail. I'll probably tease you with it, but not when others can hear."

You turn your head to look at him, slowly smiling and then chuckling. You hide your face behind your hands, groaning. "I know I'm gonna fuckin' regret this, but I need to say it out loud and talk about just how stupid I was."

"Come on, princess, lay it on me."

You groan again. "I, uh, I might have threw myself at my best friend."

Billy's quiet for a moment too long and you peek at him through your fingers. "That.. doesn't sound so bad."

"He rejected me."

He scoffs then. "I still don't see how you're the stupid one here. If it were me, I'd have been all over that."

You wrinkle your nose at his brief leer. "Yeah, well, Eddie's not like that. He said I was drunk and that I'd regret it."

"Eddie?" Billy frowns. You can see him wracking his brain for a face to pin to the name. You can practically see the lightbulb go off over his head when his eyes widen and his head whips in your direction. "Eddie Munson?!"

"You don't have to say his name like that." You pout and Billy cackles.

"Holy shit. Holy shit, princess! You threw yourself at Eddie fuckin' Munson and that freak rejected you?!"

"Don't call him that," you whine. "He's my best friend and-"

Billy laughs some more. "Is he getting into his own stash or something? Why the hell would he-"

"Because I'm not his type! I made an ass out of myself and now I've ruined everything with my best friend, and I can't even look at him anymore and.." You trail off, crying. "I just- I just wanna go home and crawl into bed and not resurface for the foreseeable future. So, if you can stop laughing at me, that'd be awesome."

Billy continues to chuckle as he drives. "Look, I'm sure it's not as bad as you're making it out to be." You scoff and wipe the tears from your face. "You said that he said you were drunk, and he thought you'd regret it?" You frown, hesitantly nodding. "Well then there you go. I'm not a fan of the guy, but he obviously did the right thing not taking advantage of you in this state."

"But I'm not that drunk!"

"Aren't you?" He muses, smirking as he glances at you yet again. "If you were sober or even a bit buzzed, would you be spilling all this girly shit to me? Me who's attempted to take you out multiple times only to be shot down?" You pout at him and sink further into the seat. "That's what I thought. Now pull it together and tell me where you live."

As you glance out the window to take in your surroundings, you say, "Keep driving until you hit Lawrence Street. I'm like the third house down on the right." Billy hums his acknowledgment and then all too soon he's turning down your street. But as you squint your eyes in the darkness, your eyes widen and you throw yourself down onto the floorboard. "Don't stop! Keep driving!"

"What the hell are you doing? Get off the floor."

"No, no, no. That's Eddie's van in front of my house. I don't want to see him."

"What the hell do you want me to do then?"

You watch as Billy glances out his window, smirking at something. "Just.. drop me off around the corner or something. I'll jump fences if I have to until I get to my backyard." Billy goes quiet and you watch as he turns, and then makes another turn. Slowly, you climb back into your seat. "Uh, where are you going?"

"My place."

"Hargrove," you groan.

"I'm still being a decent person," he muses. "Dad took his wife on a little getaway, so it's just me and Maxine. You're good."

"You promise?"

Billy glances at you then, his expression softening just a fraction as he takes in just how small you look in his passenger seat. "Sure, Princess. I promise."

The drive to Billy's house is a few minutes longer and then he's pulling into his driveway. You get out of his car on shaky legs, hugging your jacket tight around you once again. Following him inside, you wince as he shouts for his stepsister, only to get no response in return.

"Guess she's gonna be out for the night."

"Mhmm." Billy surprises you with a change of clothes- a crop top of his that fits you almost like a normal shirt and a pair of sleep pants. He tries to offer sharing his bed, but you wrinkle your nose at him. "Nope. The floor is fine. I'm not sleeping in jizz central."

He laughs, but shrugs. He wasn't going to manhandle you into his bed if you didn't want to be there. Instead, he grabs up all the spare blankets and pillows he can find and lets you make a nest on his floor. He disappears for a brief moment before coming back with tylenol and a glass of water. You eagerly drink it all down, setting the glass on his bedside table and then crawling underneath one of the blankets.

As soon as the lights are out, your eyes start to take longer and longer to reopen.

"Hey Billy?" You sleepily mumble.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. This was actually pretty decent of you."

He huffs. "Go to sleep, YN."

"M'kay."

The following afternoon you're sitting at Hargrove's breakfast table, elbows on the tabletop and head resting in your hands. Your stomach's rolling, your head is pounding, and the embarrassment still lingers.

You remember everything from watching Eddie be his rambunctious self at Steve's impromptu party, to having a couple drinks for liquid courage and being talked up by Robin, to finally just grabbing your best friend by the back of his neck and kissing him. For a moment he seemed to be into it, but then he pushed away and your heart plummeted.

Tears of embarrassment had stung your eyes as Eddie explained that you were drunk and didn't know what you wanted. But you did- you knew exactly who and what you wanted, but he merely flashed you a sad smile and refused to believe you. So when he told you to stay put while he went to grab his jacket so he could drive you home, you disappeared out Steve's backyard gate even as Robin tried to call you back.

The front door to the house opens and your head shoots up, eyes wide with panic. The door shuts and then the person who'd just entered comes into view.

Max freezes, staring at you before she looks you up and down. Her shock quickly turns into disgust. "Please tell me you didn't."

"I-I didn't!" You quickly stand, clutching at the waistband of the sleep pants to keep them in place. "I slept on the floor."

She scoffs. "Yeah. Right." Her eyes roll and your chest aches with hurt. "I know Billy, and you weren't exactly sober last night, YN."

"I was sober enough to know exactly what I was doing, Max."

"Were you?" Her eyebrow arches at you. "Is that why you threw yourself at Munson and then Billy? I guess the second time was the charm, huh."

Her words sting and immediately you feel your eyes prickle with tears of frustration. Her expression softens as she realizes what she's just said, but you shake your head at her when she opens her mouth again. "Fuck this."

Turning around, you march back to Billy's room and strip out of his sleep pants in order to pull your jeans back on. As you're debating whether or not you want to slip back into your own shirt, you see Max lean into the doorway to peer into the room.

Keeping Billy's crop top, you pull on your leather jacket. The bathroom door opens, Max scrambles to the other side of the door, and then..

"What's going on?"

You glance up at Billy standing there in a pair of basketball shorts and towel draped around his neck as water droplets dribble down his bare chest. Max rolls her eyes at him and you hardly bat an eye at him as you scoop up your shirt and shoes. "I, uh, I'm gonna go. Thanks for the ride and place to crash. You're not a total neanderthal like I thought you were, Hargrove."

He scoffs. "Why are you crying?"

"I-"

"I just remembered what an idiot I made of myself last night," you say, cutting off Max when she suddenly turns guilty looking. You meet her gaze and subtly shake your head before looking at Billy once more. "Thanks again. I'll, uh, I'll see you around."

You squeeze between the step-siblings, ignoring both their calls of your name as you flee their home. Outside, the tears come faster. With your shoes dangling from one hand and your shirt clutched in the other, you hurry in the direction of your home so you can hide away.

The weekend comes and goes, and you're grateful that your parents were off on a business trip so you could mope in peace. The doors remained locked, the curtains remained pulled tight, and you ignored every knock on the door or phone call that had your friends pleading on the answering machine to pick up.

But Monday comes around far too quickly for your liking and you find yourself dragging your feet into work at Family Video. Steve perks up from behind the front counter, but you merely let your gaze drag over him before heading straight to the staff room to clock in.

When you take your place behind the front counter, you immediately get to work sorting the returned tapes and sit on the floor where the small TV and VCR are hidden so you can mark down who didn't rewind their tapes.

"Well you're alive and well. That's nice to know."

"Mhm. Haven't kicked the bucket quite yet, Harrington, now get back to work."

"Fine. But we're talking about whatever the hell happened Friday night on break."

"Hmm. I would rather not."

"YN.."

"Steve." You sigh and look up over your shoulder at him. "Can you not do this? We're at work and I'd rather forget the most embarrassing night of my life. Thanks."

"Embarrassing because you threw yourself at Munson or embarrassing because you slept with Hargrove?"

Your eyes widen and then anger blazes across your features. "Fuck you." You get up from your place on the floor and march back towards the staff room.

"Shit. Shit, YN, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." Steve chases after you. "Max feels really bad about that misunderstanding, by the way."

"If she felt bad about it then why did she tell all of you? Clearly nothing happened," you spit at him in anger, "but you've all made up your mind already, haven't you?"

Steve watches you grab your timecard from the wall, followed by a pen. "W-What are you doing?"

You scribble two words on the timecard before tossing the pen aside, strip out of your Family Video vest, and then walk over to Steve while slapping the card against his chest. "I quit."

Steve gapes as you walk out the staff door, marching through the store as you exit out the front entrance.

When you get home, you kick off your shoes on your way upstairs and crawl into bed. The moment you're under the covers and your head hits the pillows, the tears come. You cry over the fact that two of your friends, maybe more, think you slept with Billy Hargrove and cry because you're now out of a job.

You cry and cry, not knowing when you fell asleep.

You don't know how long you've been asleep when you feel your mattress dip and you peel open your eyes with a quiet groan. When your gaze focuses, you see Robin sheepishly sitting on the edge of your bed.

"Hey." She faintly smiles at you. "Steve called a code red." At the mention of his name, your bottom lip wobbles and your eyes fill with tears yet again. "Aw crap. Please don't cry. I don't do good with crying people."

It takes you a few moments to get yourself under a semblance of control. "Does everyone else *sniffle* think I'm a slut too?" You cry.

"No one thinks you're a slut, YN."

"Steve and Max do," you say over a hiccup. "They think I slept with Billy, but Robin.. I wouldn't. You know I've been in love with Eddie since I was sixteen."

There's a sharp inhale of breath behind you, Robin's eyes widen before they dart in that direction and your heart lodges itself in your throat.

"You've been in love with me since we were sixteen?"

"I'm, uh, I'm gonna go," Robin blurts. She offers you a tight smile before quickly standing. "Have fun. Figure your shit out and be safe!"

As Robin flees your bedroom, you turn on your side and curl in on yourself. You can hear the jingle of the chain hanging from Eddie's belt loops and you turn your head so your face is hidden in the plushness of your pillow.

"Hey. Come on now. It's just me, sweetheart." Your mattress jostles and your breath hitches. "Will you please look at me?"

"I don't wanna."

"YN."

A whine gets stuck at the back of your throat and you slowly turn your head so you can see Eddie. He smiles big from where he's crouched on the side of your bed. "There you are."

"I wasn't drunk," you mumble.

"What?"

"I wasn't drunk," you say again. "Friday night," you then clarify. "I knew what I was doing when I kissed you and I'm really sorry I made you uncomfortable."

Eddie's smile falters. "What makes you think I was uncomfortable?"

"You rejected me, Eds! I'm pretty sure that-"

"Baby," he suddenly coos and your heart fuckin' aches at the term of endearment. He crosses his arms atop your bed, setting his chin atop them as he angles his head to get a better look at you. "I was nowhere near uncomfortable. I thought you were wasted and that you'd regret the kiss come morning," he clarifies for you. "I couldn't bear the thought of finally getting the girl of my dreams only to lose her when she realized what a mistake she'd made while under the influence."

His words hang in the air for a moment and it takes your brain a minute longer to process it all. Then when the silence is borderline awkward, you say, "I could never regret anything involving you. You're my best friend and I-"

"Have been in love with me since you were sixteen?" He lightly teases. Your heart beats faster and faster, and he smirks. "Will it make you feel any better if I admit I've been in love with you just as long?"

"W-What?"

"S'true. Ask Wayne," he says. "He's called me a dumbass for years for not telling you." You giggle and Eddie practically beams. "So what do you say to a redo? Because I haven't stopped thinking about Friday night and I-"

You lurch forward, holding your weight on one elbow as you press your lips against Eddie's. He chuckles against your mouth before getting with the program, cupping the side of your head with one hand and molding his lips against yours.

For a first kiss it's very chaste, but absolutely perfect. Though you've been in love with Eddie for years, there's absolutely no rush whatsoever and you want to savor every milestone with him.

Eddie pecks your lips once and then twice as he slowly pulls back, resting his forehead against yours while swiping his thumb along your cheekbone. "I've been wanting to do that for years."

"Mhm. Same." You lean in and kiss his lips one last time. "And I'm all for exploring each other and all that to catch up on lost time, but all this stupid crying has exhausted me. So either get in bed or go beat up Steve for me for making me have to look for another job."

Eddie chuckles as he stands, slipping out of his leather jacket and jean vest, then slipping off his sneakers. "Nah. Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Steve covered for you at work and got you a new time card. You still have a job at Family Video."

"Oh. Okay then."

As he climbs into bed, under your covers, you wait until he's mostly settled before moving his arm so you could cuddle up to him. With your head resting in the crook of his arm where his arm meets his shoulder, you lay your arm across his abdomen and hike your knee over his thigh. Eddie chuckles. "Comfortable?"

"Getting there." You move around a bit more and then once you're finally settled, you exhale a little too loudly. Eddie squeezes you tighter against him, one arm around your back while your other hand rests on your knee. "Is this real?" You ask. "Like you're not just doing this because you're afraid to hurt my feelings?"

"I am one hundred and ten percent here for this, sweetheart," Eddie says. "Now that I know I can have this and more? Pft. You're never getting rid of me." You laugh softly and feel his lips against your forehead. "Now get some rest. We can pick up the fun stuff later."

You fall asleep with a smile on your lips and Eddie brushing his fingers along the skin of your arm.

As it turns out, dating Eddie is a lot like just being friends with Eddie. The only difference now is that he's less careful with his touches and has no problem staking his claim out in public. You were never a fan of pda, but with Eddie? You like it. You like it a lot.

Especially if it grosses out Steve who you'd yet to fully forgive for his sleeping with Billy comment. Max you could forgive because she was used to seeing Billy sleeping with a new girl every weekend and she realized her mistake when she saw all the bedding on the floor where you had actually slept. But Steve? Steve heard the story and still had the audacity to throw it out there that you'd slept with his arch nemesis and that really hurt.

But it's already been a week so you figure you'll let up and put Harrington out of his misery within the next couple of days.

Walking out of the festival Hawkins had put on for the weekend, Eddie's arm is draped around your shoulders while you're laughing and trying to eat the rest of your cotton candy without him leaning down to bite it off the cone in your hands.

"Well isn't this a precious sight."

You've yet to run into anyone brave enough to speak out about you and Eddie, so the words catch you off guard with the tone they're used with. But when you see who had spoken, you relax with a soft exhale. "Hey Hargrove." You nod at him and his date for the evening- his date who's frowning as she glances between you and Billy. You roll your eyes, feeling a little catty. "Are you actually showing this one off to the public before adding another notch to the bedpost?"

The girl gasps, but Billy merely smirks at you. "Nice to know you're still a bitch even when you're getting laid on the regular." Eddie tenses at your side, but you merely laugh at the mean words. Your laughter makes Billy chuckle and you smile genuinely when you see the shift in his demeanor. He glances at Eddie, smirk dimming. "You ever make her cry again, Munson, and I'll knock your teeth in. Got it?"

Eddie isn't given a chance to respond as Billy takes his date's hand and practically drags her towards the festival. As you and Eddie turn to watch them walk off, he looks down at you and shakes his head. "Jesus Christ, sweetheart. One night with Hargrove and he's turned into a guard dog."

You grin sheepishly. "Look at this way. If I ever run into trouble, you got a real hardass in your corner to help you kick some ass."

"I thought that's what Steve was for?"

You snort. "Have you seen Steve's fight record? Steve's not the fighting type, babe."

"Eh. True." Eddie's arm ends up around your shoulders yet again and the two of you head off towards his van. "Where to now, sweetheart? My place or yours?"

"I don't care. As long as there's a shower and some comfortable clothes for me, I could go to either place. I'm in the mood for some cuddles."

"Mmm. I like the way you think." Eddie opens the passenger door for you, waiting until you've hopped in to press in closer and pull you down into a kiss. He hums against your mouth, tongue licking up the sugar from your lips. "I think we'll go back to mine. Your parents are home and they always ruin our fun."

Giggling, you agree and then pull the door closed as Eddie jogs around the front of his van.

As you watch him go, your heart swells with even more affection for the boy who'd stolen your heart long ago. And as he smiles at you through the windshield window, eyes crinkled at the corners, you have a feeling that this will be one person who will never intentionally make you cry.

And if he does, well you can always take Hargrove up on his offer to punch his teeth in.

But until that day, you're gonna spend your days catching up on lost time with the guy of your dreams.

[fbfh]

billy hargrove relationship and intimacy hcs pt 2

1.4k words, implied fem reader (i think I said cunt a few times), warnings below cut

minors obviously dni

warnings: slight oral, belt as a restraint, size kink, belly bulge, praise kink, daddy and princess as pet names (but not in a ddlg way i promise it's a coincidence), breeding kink, prolonged eye contact, cockwarming, mild consensual somno (reader recieving), billy has mommy and daddy issues, slight dumbification, corruption kink,

I feel like Billy's the type to rip off your clothes in a way that feels hot and not rushed yk

I hope you know how to sew bc you’ll be dealing with a lot of ripped seams and lost buttons

He’ll indulge you by letting you tease him a little

Not enough for him to cum, just enough to make things interesting

But of course it’s always more effective than he expects bc you’re way overqualified as mentioned before

Once he finally pulls you off from teasing the shit out of his cock he'll look down at you with a smirk that's somehow worse than the ones before

Oh god the looks this man can give you….

Once he’s actually ready you’re always going to be in for a long night

He'll make a big show of taking off his belt and tying you up with it

He doesn’t do that all the time, but when he does?????

He fucking lives for the look on your face

You do too

I wish I could just expand and dwell on that for a minute

Billy, shirt off, standing over you

He looks down at you in that way where he's mostly just moving his eyes, and lets out a breathy chuckle

He’ll undo his belt and pop open his jeans

Then he descends on you

He holds your hands above your head and loops the leather around your wrists until it’s secure

Once in a while he’ll get a new belt and mention it to you very casually

“Yeah, I’ll need some help breaking it in…”

We know he’s ripped as hell

We know this

He’s also pretty tall

I think it’s safe to say he has a size kink

It especially shows up when he has you caged in his arms, pounding into you

You don’t even have to say anything, just the way that you cling onto him makes him feel so big and strong oh my god

There’s a good chance he’ll press his hand over yours, flat on your stomach while he stretches you open so you can feel him going in and out inside of you

When your hands aren’t tied up that is

If they are he’ll just press his hand down and brush his fingers over your skin

He fucking loves seeing you with a cute little belly bulge

He’ll have you ride him so he can be as deep inside you as possible, filling you up and stretching you out

“Feel that, princess?”

There’s that smirk again

He’ll guide you up and down on his cock and tease you about how you squeeze him just right

His hands cling to your hips, groping your soft flesh as he pistons up into you

Okay this is sort of a slippery slope

But praise the shit out of him

Feed his fucking ego

Yes he’ll act like a cocky bastard but he’s very obviously compensating for something

And we know it’s not his dick

The thing is in order for it to actually slowly help build his self esteem over time you have to get it just right

He’s heard “ooh you’re a god in bed” and “wow i’ve never squirted before” a million times

Tell him he’s an attentive lover

Tell him he’s good at taking care of you

Tell him he knows you so well

Make it just a touch more heartfelt and it really hits right over time

It also turns him the fuck on

So that’s an added bonus

Okay I have something coming up for this soon so I won’t go too crazy here

But if you call him daddy

It’s super effective

It does however majorly trigger his mostly dormant breeding kink

So uh

That’s your call to make

Just keep in mind that if you do rile him up and tease him and call him daddy

He won’t shut up about knocking you up and what a good mommy you’d make

Mommy issues AND daddy issues have entered the chat

And he really, really wants to make you a mommy

“You want that? Want me to fuck a baby right into your tight little cunt?”

……

Yeah he’s very possessive

As if you couldn’t tell

He’ll mark you up with hickeys in obvious places he knows other people can see them

Like the harder to hide the better

He loves it when you mark him up too

Hickeys are great

Scratching up his back is great

Both is better

He’s rough with you and soft with you in every right possible way

Whenever possible you bet your ass he will cockwarm you after

He holds you so close, only moving to grab a blanket to pull over you

Remember how all that prolonged eye contact is a huge tell that he really really likes you

Pretty much the entire time you’re cockwarming he’ll be gazing into your eyes and at your pretty pretty face

It’s just as intense as before but it’s so much more tender and heartfelt

Billy your hopeless romantic and desire for unconditional reciprocated love is showing

He’ll just stare at you, love in his eyes, cock stuffed inside you

100% the type to thrust up into you a few times if you whine or squirm too much

If you’re into somno you can bet he’ll wake you up by playing with you

By edging you with his fingers and sucking on your clit

He loves seeing your soft sleepy eyes open, clouded with lust

He loves hearing the first words out of your mouth in the morning be you moaning his name

He loves telling you to use your words, princess

Even though he knows you’re half asleep and half fucked dumb

Oh my god he’s obsessed with how you get all dumb and flustered when he plays his cards right

He’ll watch as your brain literally short circuits in front of his eyes

And it’s the best thing ever

He wants to make you do it again

He has teasing you for maximum flusterability down to a science

He can be so fucking subtle with teasing when he wants to be

One of the things he loves doing is teasing you in public in a way that’s not noticeable to anyone but you

He loves seeing the excited panic in your eyes as you realize what he’s doing

Watching you transition from your usual sweet self into his desperate needy slut is a feeling he will continue to chase

He definitely has at least a small corruption kink

He’s obsessed with “teaching” you how to ride him

Even if you’ve done it a thousand times

He’ll still guide your hips up and down and tell you what a good job you’re doing

“Just like that, princess,”

You can see the smirk on his face and the look in his eyes as you start getting really really good at it

And it takes everything in him not to flip you over and rail the shit out of you

Most of his aftercare is clingy kisses and cuddles

Or cockwarming

Yk

The emotional intimacy from holding you against his chest and staring at you is absolutely unparalleled to anything he’s ever experienced

At one point

Maybe a party or something

You hear some other girls who have all hooked up with him talking about it

They all had similar experiences

He’s great in bed but a little selfish and totally ghosts after

Unless he “really likes you”, then he might hook up with you twice

That’s true for like everyone he’s hooked up with

Except you

One girl said to her friend that he barely even looked at her

Remember how eye contact is a huge tell for how into you he is???

Even now you catch his eye across the room

He’s giving you one of his famous Looks

That you now realize

He apparently doesn’t give to other people

He walks across the room and pulls you close to him by the waistband of your bottoms

Yeah

You’re going to be in for another long night

tags: @hopefullhearts @littlewinter1917 @thatawkwardlittlefangirl

[sugarmaiiu]

Fuck You, Billy. (Part 2)

PART ONE

PART THREE

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Time Frame: between season 2 and 3 / September 1984 (Billy hasn't gotten his Lifeguard job yet)

Warnings: t/w rough handling/unconsented kiss (once again...this is Billy we are talking about)

Word Count: 4.9k

First Person POV

a/n: girlies ate up part one and I am not a woman to deny the people's wants so here I am with a Part Two! Just saying now, we're gonna see a lot of war with self cause why would anyone with common sense want to fall in love with a guy like Billy? Leave a note if you enjoy :P )

I pulled the bag of clothes, Billy so kindly bestowed me, closer so I could further inspect it. I hadn't looked at what he had gotten for me yet, so I started laying all the clothes out on the bed. I was surprised when I laid out the dress flat on the bed that it was actually something I'd probably at least try on for myself at a store.

I pulled out some stockings he had bought for me to go underneath when out dropped something onto the floor.

I groaned, laying the stockings out on the bed first before leaning down to see the purple lacey underwear he had back at the school, on my floor.

What an asshole, I immediately thought.

I started putting on all of the attire, and yeah if I tried this on in store, I think I would actually buy it.

It was a knee length, blueish-grey hued A-line dress with a pink floral design and some black lace that trimmed the bottom of the skirt , the bottom of the sleeves, and cuffed the neckline. There was also matching black buttons that led from the top of the cinched band at the waist to the bottom of the neckline.

I'd bet money that Billy had picked this dress due to the slight plunging neckline and cinched band at the waist, that when together did not hide my figure what so ever.

I put on a pair of blue rose earrings I owned to match and a long dainty necklace to distract from the amount of chest I was showing in this dress. I looked in the mirror, and honestly I felt beautiful. Everything from the stockings to the lace made me feel good about myself.

Though upon realizing this I also wanted to gag as it was Billy Hargrove out of all people who I was going to be looking good for.

He's a dick but even I can admit he's got a great sense of fashion.

I stared at myself in the mirror with sweat building on my palms as I was definitely getting cold feet about showing Billy. I couldn't decide in my head if he'd like it or or not, but hell he's the one who bought the damn thing, so why should I even care if he does or not. I felt good and that was enough of a confidence boost for me to finally call out for Billy.

"I put your stupid dress on and you have about 15 seconds to come look at it before I'm taking this shit off," I yelled out as a lie.

I heard him say as he came down the hall, "Yeah, yeah, yeah only took you a lifetime to put the damn thing on, and it'd take you just as long to tak-", he paused coming in the door as I stood in front of the mirror not taking my eyes off myself, "it off. . .," he continued in a more quiet tone. He chuckled.

"Huh, you see when I bought the whole ensemble I thought you'd look more like Phoebe Cates not Shirley Temple," he said leaning against my door frame with a smile.

"I don't think Shirley Temple ever wore a dress with half of her chest hanging out," I said turning towards Billy.

"How about we go halfway and call you a Brooke Shields then," he said obviously teasing.

I rolled my eyes and kept looking at myself too keep myself from blushing, "Yeah if I was Brooke Shields I wouldn't be living in Hawkins would I?"

"Yeah, well I don't think Brooke Shield spends all day looking at herself in the mirror either. Hurry and get your shoes on we're heading out."

"Isn't it a bit early for dinner?" I said self consciously looking away from myself in the mirror and at Billy instead.

"I mean we can stall the time in a different way right here if you'd like that," he said with a egotistical smirk, "They say yoga is a great time passer, and is great for. . ." he paused to look at me in the eyes, "stretching the body."

This time I couldn't help but let the blush flood to my cheeks. I thought to myself, 'This guy just does not stop till he gets what he wants does he?'

"Well instead of yoga," I said with hesitation, "what other plans did you have?"

"Well if you'd hurry up like I said for you too do, we'd already be out the door and on the way, so let's go."

He started to walk back down the hallway, obviously in no mood to wait for me. I grabbed my black Mary Janes from the closet and began to awkwardly put them on as I walked.

I almost tripped down the stairs while trying to buckle the strap of my shoes, earning a smug laugh from Billy.

"I know you love yoga and all but you've really let that distract you," he said watching me struggle down the stairs, "You should have done this after I said let's go instead of asking questions don't you think?"

"Shut your fucking mouth Billy," I said earning me a tight squeeze of my aching wrist as I tried to pass him.

"What'd you say to me?", he said sternly.

"You're the one who came rushing me out the door, so yeah shut the fuck up Billy, don't give me that shit," I said trying not to wince from the amount of pressure he was putting on that same hurt wrist.

"Why don't you make me sweetheart?," he said getting in my face, "or did you already lose the balls to stand up to me after learning I can put you in your place."

I tried tugging my wrist away, ignoring what he said. I somehow managed to get it out of his grasp. In the same second I pushed him aside, finally moving past him.

It only took a second for him to wrap his whole arm around my waist so he could yank me back to him. He got even closer in my face this time, with a smile.

Who the fuck smiles after being pushed off?

"Get off of me Billy!" I said squirming in now both of his arms.

"Don't act like your tuff shit then not back it up. Your almost as pussy as Harrington you know? I thought you were different.," he said practically spitting in my face due to how close he was to me.

I stopped trying to break free and instead refused to look at him in the eyes. He expects me to fall head over heels for him just like the majority of the skanks he interacts with, but then acts like some child throwing a tantrum over getting put in time out.

I can't allow myself to love a man like this, even if his every touch sends a thrill down my entire body.

He didn't take the awkward silence this time and it just took a couple seconds for him to ram his lips onto mine, once more.

I was stunned in place for a moment before I uncontrollably let all my weight rest in his arms. It's like I have no control once I feel the sheer joy of the electricity running between us.

It builds every second the gap between us is fully closed, and my mind goes in and out. I should be pissed with the way he treats me like I'm some rag doll, but some part inside of me enjoys it.

If Billy didn't want something, I doubt he'd be this passionate towards it. Even if he only wants me to prove that he can pull anyone, even someone who swears she hates him, I can't help but drown in the feeling of somebody wanting me.

One of his began to glide down my back, to tightly grab a cheek of my ass. It was like he was trying to prove he could fit it all in one handful no matter how many times it squished out around his fingers.

I tried pulling away and it only made him even more aggressive. He was trying to prove he was in charge, but I wasn't going to let some self loving bird brain of a man take control of me that easily.

I rubbed my hand along his arm, as if I was getting more into the kiss, before taking a big pinch of the hair and pulling it upwards. He winced, letting his grip on me ease up enough for me to be able to break out.

I stumbled out of his arms, almost flopping onto the floor, but I managed to catch myself on a side table next to the front door.

He was laughing like a lunatic, which made me feel uneasy.

"Guess she's no Harrington after all," he said still laughing.

"We have somewhere to be don't we?" I said opening the front door, "Hurry up asshole."

After leaving a note for my dad and finally leaving the house, we got in his car. I had been silent the entire time so far we had been in it. Unlike last time I was in his car, where I didn't have anything to say, this time I just didn't want to say a single thing to him. I didn't even want him to get the satisfaction of my laughs when he tried to crack a joke at some 'hick' looking house or neighborhood.

I was just so angry.

To my surprise, I was angry with myself. I don't even know why I was so angry with myself, but every time I thought how good I felt when he kissed me, I wanted to jump out of the car and let myself roll down the road.

If he wasn't such a brat to put it simply, I could let myself enjoy the fact that we kissed. I repeatedly thought to myself, 'What's wrong with me?'

Here I am letting myself being coerced by a literal man baby into being his fake girlfriend. It made me so angry when I thought about how nice it felt to be held in his arms. Then it made me even angrier that I thought it felt even remotely nice.

It hit me like a baseball bat to the face, when I realized why I was so angry. I realized that at the pace Billy and I's relationship was going, I was going to end up falling. Just like he wanted.

I was so stunned that I could be this weak, that even Billy seemed to notice my change in emotion.

He looked over to me, "If you puke in here I will throw you in a lake with your legs tied to cement, you here me?"

I looked at him for the first time since we got in the car. What he said was vicious, but I saw by his facial expression and how he kept looking back and forth from the road to me, that he was curious if I actually was ok.

"If I was going to spew I would let you know, so you can stop looking at me like that," I said in an unintentionally pouty tone.

"You look like your gonna blow any second."

"I'm fine Billy!" I said in a loud outburst before almost whispering, "Can you just stop talking to me for christ's sake?"

I turned my knees away from him and that must of been the last straw cause he immediately slammed on his brakes in the middle of road and turned to me.

"You either start talking or we're going to be sitting right here until you do."

I looked in the side mirror too see if any cars were behind us, realizing we were stopped just on the decline of a hill.

Fuck.

"Fucking drive are you crazy? You're gonna get us hit."

"Guess that one will be on you sweetheart."

I looked in the mirror again, no sign of a car yet. Though due to the angle of the hill, it might be too late once a car would be in view.

"Fuck Billy, what's your damage?" I said looking at him in the eyes.

"I could ask you the same god damn thing, so either we get to the theater soaked in blood and with some broken bones, or you start talking right now.", he looked at me starting to rev his car, creating unnecessary drama to the situation.

I had to snap myself out of the thought of him taking me to see a movie and how that's actually a nice thing of him too do, in order to focus on the problem at hand.

"You are my problem Billy!" I yelled out.

After building up some momentum, he slammed the gas pedal sending us flying down the road. He yelled out, "That's more like it baby!"

"And your celebrating that?", I yelled back in confusion.

"How long you gonna take this shit before you decide to do something about it, y/n?"

"How about you just stop giving me your shit, that'd fucking solve my problem real quick."

We were both still yelling, but I felt my heart racing in my chest as we sped down the road.

"Why don't you just scream?" he said maintaining our incredibly illegal speed.

"Do what?"

He rolled down the windows causing my hair to blow everywhere.

"Scream!", he said before upping our speed once again as he yelled out a very guttural angry scream. He laughed diabolically after looking to me as if I was supposed to give it a try now.

I hesitated, I definitely still was angry and I definitely felt like screaming after all the stress Billy caused me today.

Billy turned up the radio, as to try and hide my scream in case I was embarrassed. AC/DC's song "You Shook Me All Night Long" abruptly came crashing on over the speakers, right in the middle of the chorus.

I gave a big huff as I screamed as hard as I could. It absolutely wasn't some pretty scream you see typically in horror films where they want to keep woman dainty and feminized.

This was deep, and came straight from my pit of anger. I was going to for sure feel the repercussions in my throat tomorrow morning.

Billy laughed, and I laughed with him.

He somehow turned up the radio even louder, leaving me to feel the bass of the music in my heart. He beat the steering wheel along to the music, still managing to go Mach 20 speed down the little one way road we were travelling on, with zero care in the world of how dangerous it was.

I would never admit to it, but in that moment I began my slow and inevitable fall for Billy fucking Hargrove

When we got to the theater and I was in a much better mood than before we left my house. Billy pressed down on my thigh, keeping me down in my seat, as I tried to lean up to leave.

He signaled me to stay and quickly got out, breezing his way over to my side of the car to open it for me.

"Well, maybe you can be a gentleman. I'm shocked.", I said practically climbing my way out of his low to the ground sports car.

"See what happens when you trust me and just have a good time?", he said closing the car door behind me.

He offered his arm up to me to wrap my own around as we walked, so being polite I took it, getting closer to him. "Oh so I should have trusted you for some 'yoga practice' too is what your saying?"

"As fun as that would have been," he said with a smirk, "I wouldn't have then been able to take you here."

I obviously ignored the comment and gave it no attention. Instead I looked up at the theater heading, remembering how Steve wrote 'featuring Nancy the Slut Wheeler' on it back when he was in highschool and a total douchebag. He and the rest of the chaos gang would be shocked to see me here with none other Billy Hargrove.

The thought made me sigh and made me want to try to get my mind off how disappointed my peers would be with me if they knew I was going on a date with a tool.

I looked around instead, realizing there was only a handful of cars parked nearby. "There's nobody here even here, do you think it's because of that mall they're building"

"To be honest I don't really give a fuck why people are here or not, just means we'll be alone in the theater room if it's dead inside."

"Yeah like I said at my house, don't get any funny ideas."

"I have the ideas, you're just too big of a pussy to go through with them."

I rolled my eyes and had to laugh, "Yeah, I don't think me not throwing myself down your pants like every other girl makes me a pussy, as you say."

"I'll have you begging soon so whatever you say," he whispered in my ear.

Billy definitely wasn't shy, and that was something I really enjoyed. I've felt like I've always had to initiate something from a partner in order to be even slightly satisfied. I blush, what the fuck am I thinking?

I put the thought aside and looked away from Billy to hide my blush, which was from half from my thoughts, and about half from what he said.

He laughed and roughed up my hair with his hand. I'd have to fix it later anyways before going to meet his parents, so I didn't mind.

Billy took care of everything, to make sure everything happened the way he wanted. I sat down in my seat of the theater, and to no one's surprise it was empty. He threw his arm around me, not caring what I thought about it, he just wanted to do it.

I didn't mind this time, but only for this time only. I for sure didn't want to cuddle up to him, so he could forget about me doing that.

I watched the film in bliss, just happy to be out and doing something for once after school that isn't just doing chores for the yearbook committee or siting at home on the phone with my best friend Robin.

Hell after seeing my sad excuse of a love life, I think even my dad would be proud to see me out of the house.

I looked too Billy who was focused on the film, god he really was pretty.

"See something you like sweetheart?", he said without looking at me.

I blushed, I literally just got caught gawking, that's a new low even for me.

"Nah, I just think your an idiot Billy Hargrove."

He scoffed, "If I was an idiot I wouldn't have been the King of our hick ass highschool would I?"

I thought it was weird that he still thought about highschool so frequently, its almost as if he still liked it.

That on its own made me think about the party, and how I threw my drink in his face after he tried to get me to sleep with him. Why the hell was he even there at a highschool party?

"I know you still know people at Hawkins, but don't you think it's weird that you still hang out with highschoolers and they still call you the almighty King of Hawkins.," I said in a half jokingly manor.

"They loved me there, you saying you wouldn't love all that praise?", he said with a smile.

"Yeah, but I just figured anyone after they graduate would be focused on getting a job and finally making something out of themselves. Not going to stupid high school parties and trying to bang your old classmates."

He sighed and didn't respond. "Yeah yeah whatever, want to get off my dick about it?"

"I can't believe you'd ever complain about me being on your dick."

"Yeah alright, just drop the whole subject y/n," he said in a serious closed off tone. I sat there and fumbled with my thumbs.

Dammit

I didn't meant to make it awkward. I sat there for a minute thinking about how I could ease the tension. I gave it another thought, and I suppose leaning my head on him wouldn't be as terrible of a thing I first initally thought it to be.

I rested my head on his chest, sort of awkwardly resting on the arm rest to do so, but I eventually got situated enough for it too not be in my way.

"I don't need your pity," he said but not rejecting me.

"Good thing I'm not pitying you, it's not like you've told me anything to pity you over anyways."

He huffed, "Yeah well you just worry about impressing my dad tonight alright?"

What he said seemed random, but I think he was giving me a hint of why he was so tense.

"If I can impress you, I can impress anyone I think," I said keeping the mood light.

"Yeah as if it was your personality that I was interested in at first."

I playfully punched his chest and when I rested my head down all I thought was

I'm not very religious but dear God I'm in trouble if shit continues like this.

Billy and I managed to finish the movie and drive to his house without any screaming matches or sudden dangerous stops on hills this time.

I could tell Billy was feeling nervous, which is a sight I thought I'd never see. How bad could his dad be in order to make Billy out of all people feel nervous.

I felt pretty confident at first, as I know I'm a good person, but seeing Billy get bent out of shape just from the looming fact of his dad's opinion, it made my palms get sweaty.

We got to the door and Billy stopped me before entering.

"I didn't ask any girl to come here. I asked you." he said making me feel sort of warm inside, "Don't fuck this up," he continued squashing my said warm fuzzy feeling.

We walked inside and I saw what I assumed to be Billy's dad and stepmother sitting in the living room. Billy's dad whipped his head around to the sound of the door and gave us a disapproving look.

"Well I see why now Max came home on a skateboard.", he said looking me up and down.

I was going to introduce myself but Billy beat me to the start. "Dad, Susan this is y/n," he paused to look at me, "y/n this is my dad and my stepmom Susan."

"Charmed," his dad said from his chair not even looking at me.

Susan jumped up from the couch and met me to shake my hand.

"It's so nice to see Billy bringing home someone so pretty," she took my hand and for once it was the one without the bruise, "let me lead you to the kitchen and we can get you a spot set up for dinner, that would be nice wouldn't it Neil?", she said looking back at Billy's dad from where we stood.

"Perfect," he said not caring at all of my presence.

She smiled and she dragged me away. I gave Billy one last look before we were separated and I could see him mentally preparing himself for something bad I'd assume.

"So are you and Billy dating?" she asked immediately.

I swallowed nervously, between the stress and that screaming I did in the car, I felt like I was swallowing flakes due to how dry my throat was. "Oh yes, we are," I finally said after a pause.

"I'm not very close to Billy, but I think it's a really good thing for him to finally settling down on someone his age.

"Oh yeah, for sure." I replied awkwardly.

She asked me a bunch of questions about my life, like where I lived, if I graduated with Billy, I told her no and she asked what grade I was in. It really was all standard stuff really, but I still felt it was good for the sake of getting along like Billy wanted.

Things were going ok until I heard Billy's dad yell, "Oh what? Are you scared your whore will hear it?"

I looked to Susan who immediately looked at me. She smiled and that made me feel very uncomfortable, it was as if she just somehow didn't hear what was said.

"Lets uh- go set up the spot at the table for you alright sweetie?", she said leading me out of the kitchen. I was practically shaking from nerves and it didn't help when the front door started slamming from Billy and his dad taking the argument outside.

I heard another door open, softer this time, when I heard, "Mom is everything ok?"

Max popped herself into the room, and I gave her a second double take of the day as to why the hell I was still around. I shook my hand at her, it was a very awkward wave hi.

"Oh y/n, this is my daughter Maxine. She's a little bit younger than you, but I'm sure you guys will be just fine to chat for a minute while I go check on the boys," she moved from my side ushering me and Max to sit at the table before leaving the room.

I waited for the front door to open and close again before flopping my head on the table.

"Ok," she said stunned, "what are you doing here?"

"Billy," I responded half groaning.

"Yeah no shit, please don't tell me your going to seriously date him."

"I'm not actually dating him Max," I leaned my head up from the table. The stress of everything from today finally started to hit me and suddenly I felt as if all my lifeforce was drained from me.

"It sure as shit look like it."

"Yeah but I'm not," I sighed rubbing my face with my hands, "I threw a drink in his face after he tried to get in my pants and now he's interested in me."

Max snorted, "No please don't tell me he's only going after you due to blue balls."

"It's not funny, he literally came busting into the highschool this morning and forced me into this."

"Wait what? Forced you?" she looked at me confusion, obviously assuming the worst.

"No, not like that- I just mean- All he did was- Look nothing bad happened, the worst he's done is kiss me when I didn't ask for it," I said obviously lying, but I don't think Max should hear about how he pinned me against my bed or grabbed my ass at the bottom of my stairwell.

She sighed and I could tell she was trying to hold in a laugh again, "Well good luck fending him off he's a dickhead. Literally. That's the only part of his body that thinks."

"Neil called me a whore? Should I be worried about what's going on outside? Am I gonna get roped into this somehow?", I asked.

She squirmed in her seat for a second, "I mean, Neil and Billy are pretty similar actually. They both get really aggressive and stuff and I mean, he kind of deserves it sometimes, but I've definitely heard Billy get his shit rocked by him before."

"For real? Isn't that like abuse or something?", I asked in shock.

She shrugged, "My mom believes he's a good guy, so whatever he does I'd imagine Billy kinda' deserves it."

"Still. Just seems hardcore."

"Yeah well the apple didn't fall far from the tree, I think they're both controlling assholes."

I went to respond but I heard the door fly open and I immediately got nervous. In single file, Billy, Neil, and Susan all came into the dinning room where Max and I were sitting.

Neil came to me and shook my hand, choosing the undesired one to hold.

"I apologize for any inappropriate behavior you heard tonight," he looked to Billy and back to me, "I'm assuming you know Billy's history and I was afraid he brought home someone sleezy into my house without any warning."

"But hearing you are Billy's girlfriend, and we all just want to have a nice dinner with you, so we can have a good rest of the evening.", she butted in. She smiled but I could tell it was fake. She was obviously bothered by something that had to have occurred outside.

I looked to Billy who bore a stone cold face. It was very obvious something had happened and he just wanted this night to be over with.

I looked around at the entire family, all of them miserable. This should have been clear proof that falling for Billy was a bad idea. I would never try and fix someone, it's not my job to, but I can tell that Billy himself wouldn't be happy in a relationship unless things were to change.

In this short amount of time of being around him, I realized why he bounced around to different girls, never staying with one for too long.

I knew this fact, and I still couldn't help the feeling inside me that burned with fury. I wanted to comfort him.

I looked at him, and realized I couldn't ever fall for him and I was going to have to stop myself from falling even further.

Billy Hargrove is a fucking train wreck waiting to happen and somehow I'm on board. I have to find my way off, so I don't crash with it.

[brianwashere]

Ok so—don’t ask about the title. I tried but that was the only one I could think of.

Also the margarita cupcakes come straight from my childhood those slap fr.

**I do not own any characters or part of the franchise from Stranger Things**

Pairing: the byer-hopper family

Genre: found family

Summary: Billy picked up a new hobby and seemed surprised people noticed.

Tw: cussing, implications of child abuse

Baked

It had been 4 months after Billy had moved in. Four. Rocky. Months.

The first one to notice it was Max, naturally. She was his sister, she knew him probably better than anyone else.

“When did you start baking?” Max interrogated.

Billy kept folding chocolate chips into the cookie dough.

“When are you going to mind your own business?” He retorted with no real bite.

The redhead rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, asshole. Just save me one.” She said as she left the house to meet up with Lucas.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

The second person to notice was Will.

Makes sense, he’s very observant.

“Soooooo…” He started off looking at Billy expectantly.

Billy looked back at him slightly confused and shrugged.

“What? You wanna lick the spoon or something?” He asked half joking.

Will perked up.

“Can I?” He sounded a little too excited.

“What are you, seven?” Billy teased as he handed him the spoon he was done with.

“Who cares? I get to have brownie batter.” Will retorted.

“Yeah, and salmonella.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Joyce noticed third.

She had smelled something delightful and walked to the kitchen to find the source of the smell.

She was pleasantly surprised to see Billy, eyes furrowed and tongue sticking out in focus as he piped icing onto some cupcakes.

“Hey, big guy. What’re you doing there?” She asked curiously.

Billy looked up at her like he was only noticing her there for the first time.

“Oh, hey Ms. Byers.” He said quietly.

“Billy, what’d we talk about with the whole ‘Ms. Byers’ things?” She reminded him gently

“Right. Sorry, Joyce.” The blond corrected.

“So, did you make these yourself?” She continued on as if nothing happened.

“Yeah…hope you like margarita cupcakes.” Billy said as he straightened up.

He plucked an iced one from the corner of the rack and held it out to her. She took it thankfully. Billy continued icing the remaining cupcakes.

Joyce took a bite of the cupcake and her eyes widened.

“Holy shit! This is amazing, Billy!” She exclaimed.

Billy looked surprised.

“Thank you, Joyce.” He said.

“Hey, anytime you wanna bake something for me feel free.” She walked out of the room.

Billy felt warm. She liked his baking?

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

El was next.

He had just taken the croissant dough out of the fridge to fold it for what must’ve been the billionth time and fill it with chocolate.

Billy piped chocolate onto the folded pastry and turned to look at the recipe for a split second only to glance back and see El trying to swipe chocolate out of the bowl with her finger.

“Hey! What they hell do you think you’re doing!” Billy shouted.

El flinched back immediately and looked at him with genuine fear.

Billy’s chest felt tight. He hadn’t meant to actually scare her. He lowered his voice.

“I’ll hit you if you try that again.” He joked raising the wooden spoon from the bowl.

Ok if it was anyone else than her he wouldn’t have hesitated to whack them.

El stared at him, searching for his tone. When she found he was joking she grinned as well.

“Here hold your finger out.” Billy said.

El looked confused.

“We’ll do you want some or not?” He pushed.

She held her finger out. Billy wiped some from the spoon onto her finger. She grinned and licked it off.

“Thank you, Billy!” She called as she ran off to her room again.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Jonathan saw him baking next. He was trying to make macarons. Key word: trying.

He cursed to himself as he took the hot tray out of the oven only to see the cookies had sunk in the center.

Jonathan had glanced at them while he got a cup of water.

“Those don’t look too bad.” He offered.

“What’re you talking about? They sunk in the middle and that was the last of the eggs.” Billy said in agitation.

“I’m sure they’re still good to eat.” Jonathan suggested drinking his water.

Billy just shrugged, still angry about how they turned out.

“Well if you’re that broken up about it you can always make more later.” He said poking the hot cookies and quickly retracting his finger when it burned him.

Billy looked at him with a cross between unimpressed and unsurprised.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

The last one to notice was Hopper.

Billy was focusing on rolling the thin tuiles but kept breaking them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck!” He seethed through grit teeth; one of the kitchen lightbulbs broke.

“Woah kid, what’s with the harsh language. No need to break a bulb over it.” Hopper glanced up at the broken bulb from his newspaper.

“Not like I was trying to.” Billy snapped.

“No need to get pissy. Just wonderin’ why you’re upset, that’s all.” Hopper said calmly before taking a sip of coffee.

“The damn things keep breaking before I can roll them.” The blond grumbled.

“Try waiting less time before you roll them.” The cop proposed.

Billy’s eye twitched and the light flickered in response. He took a deep breath and rubbed his temples.

“Yeah sure, I’ll try that.” Billy said, exasperated.

As if on cue, the oven went off. He put on oven mitts and took the tray out. He grabbed the timer and turned it to 30 seconds then waited impatiently for it to go off. It only took 10 seconds for Billy to get impatient and try to start peeling the tuiles from the parchment.

“Fuck!” The blond cussed and reeled his hand back. A

piece of metal wall decor flew off from its spot, Hopper just nearly dodged it.

“Ok, kid! I draw the line at murder attempts.” He said jokingly.

He stood and approached Billy, who was staring at him with defensiveness and fear.

“I’m sorry—I-I didn’t mean it. It was—it was an accident, I swear!” Billy stammered.

“Kid I know you can’t control it…yet. Calm down I’m here to try and help these with you.” Hopper clarified.

Hopper grabbed a wooden spoon.

“Alright, how do we makes these damn things?” He asked Billy.

Billy looked bewildered for a moment but quickly shook it off.

“You peel them off of the paper and then wrap them around the handle of the spoon.” He explained.

Hopper nodded and began peeling a tuile from the paper; he immediately broke it.

“Suddenly I see why you were so irritated.” Hopper admit with a chuckle.

“Mhmm.” Billy concurred smugly.

“Why couldn’t you have just done something easy?” The older man sighed.

“I’ve done everything easy. I wanted a challenge.”

“Well it’s a challenge alright.”

They settled into a comfortable silence while attempting to roll the thin tuiles.

Hopper broke the silence.

“Are you happy here, Billy?” He asked.

Billy stopped, staring at the counter. Was he happy here? He had a roof over his house and food in his belly and a father who didn’t beat him for no reason. He had his sister as well.

“…I am.” He finally said firmly.

“Good. I’m glad.” Hopper straightened and ruffled his hair.

Billy stood there, thunderstruck for a minute.

“Also, I think you just broke your last tuile thingy.” Hopper pointed out.

“Oh son of a bitch!” The power went out.