#yeah the krakoa era is done but hey

[thecanadianowl]

What a time to be a fan.

[plounce]

I don't know anything about X-Men but I've been playing Marvel snap recently and it's v funny to me to check the steam discussion and the top thread is someone saying cyclops was done dirty (2 b fair he's kind of a bad card 😒) and suggesting alternate powers for him that are. Completely overpowered lol

(also side note but most of the X-Men are pretty mid tbh, tho beast is extremely good and I love him)

it's so insanely and hilariously fucked up to me that BEAST is the best xmen card. this is anti-mutant bias within marvel snap. i know we're past the 2010s when marvel was trying desperately to make all their other teams more popular than the xmen bc they dont own the x-movie rights but my conspiracy brain is stroking its chin and humming suspiciously.

anyway SO FUNNY that the beast card is the best xmen card. beast is:

1. one of the xmen who has been an avenger (🤢). like when wolverine is an avenger we roll our eyes because 1. he's pretty apolitical wrt mutant politics 2. it was marvel using one of their most popular characters to prop up avengers sales (bc pre the last 15 years nobody gave a FUUUUCK about the avengers). but HANK? okay chump go join the cops with wanda and pietro

2. one of the xmen who is a war criminal BUT HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY PUSSY OR SWAG TO JUSTIFY HIM BEING A WAR CRIMINAL like yeah jean blew up that planet of broccoli people when she was dark phoenix. WHO CARE. she has PUSSY. beast... beast has zero pussy hes like if winston from overwatch sucked. hes currently doing crazy war crimes as the head of xforce (mutant cia black ops squad) and even JEAN was like "hey dude... maybe... you shouldnt have bombed the fuck out of that central american country... not a good look" HES THE CIA INCARNATE HE SUCKS!!

3. he is THEEEE most militant follower of xavierism of the main xmen like he LOOOOOVES to be a self-hating assimilationist it's so pathetic. hes one of those centrist libs who has zero spine.

4. hes like "women dont like me because im a blue furry guy" (note that he has never dated any mutant women... weird...) MEANWHILE NIGHTCRAWLER (blue furry guy) IS DROOOOOWNINGGGGGG IN PUSSY!!!!! NIGHTCRAWLER IS LIKE SCROOGE MCDUCK BUT INSTEAD OF COINS IT'S PUSSYYYYYYYYYY.

5. right before the current krakoa era he was doing so many war crimes and unethical experiments and bad shit that the anniversary special issue of uncanny xmen (#600 iirc) was all about him waking up in the middle of the night and The Watcher standing over his bed and showing him all these beautiful alternate realities of the xmen and all their potential happiness (all done by different artists - just gorgeous stuff) and then the issue ends with the watcher going "and because YOU have fucked up SO MUCH... NONE OF THESE REALITIES EXIST ANYMORE. like THE WATCHER felt he needed to say something. the guy whose WHOLE THING is NOT INTERFERING is like "i have GOT to say something to this dude because he sucks SOOOOO MUCH."

i assume this is not what you were asking for when you dropped this ask in my inbox but tbh i don't even know what you wanted from me so this is what you are getting: MY THOUGHTS.