#yeah that is a lot of spiderson irondad i did not think it would be that much ngl i knew it would be a lot but. insane

[m1zumono]

what i read in 2024!!

i read a total of 952 ao3 works last year and this is what they were :D

general info about the length of fics and stuff like that because. i want to know.

total word count was 18143678, about a million less than 2023 and less than half of 2022, but this is also the first year i've made sure this ONLY includes what i finished. still was less than i expected but it makes sense considering the gaps of just not reading anything (less than 2023 though there were MONTHS where i read nothing)

mean word count was 19058 and median was 7152, i read a fuck ton of really short fics and a few very long ones apparently, and the longest fic i read was just over 400k - just checked what it was and apparently i reread 91w i literally do not remember that

i think that this is just really making it obvious that most of what i read was porn. most fics were under 10k, most were oneshots, it's all porn. but like,, i think i probably read more words of non-porn than of porn. i don't know and i cba to work it out

stuff about ratings, categories, warnings :) apparently it is not in fact all porn but like that's a lot. i read a LOT of like avengers & peter domestic shit, think that makes up a lot of the gen tbh, and it's less explicit than 2023 iirc

mostly m/m. gay man reads gay fic. shocking. think the f/m is almost entirely background pairings in spider-man fics or matt murdock getting pegged. also feel the need to say that i turned 18 this year and am not a freak thank you

nothing really surprising here tho, disappointingly few lesbians :(

fandoms!!! mostly marvel. shocking. i cba figuring out the total number of marvel fics because that would mean doing a lot and i'm not doing that, i am tired and coding sucks, but yeah it's a lot of spider-man and daredevil stuff. the iron man stuff is entirely spider-man and probably tagged because of harley. also the red hood and the outlaws is just jayroy porn

excluding marvel and dc because jesus, a lot of spn between the two tags and some house and twd. not a lot else. nothing really surprising, did think i would have read more than one 911 fic but knew it wouldn't be much??

and. characters. so so much spider-man. so so much irondad spiderson. i hate tony stark in everything other than domestic peter fics, there's not a lot other than marvel so like above im getting rid of the marvel (not the dc tho that can stay)

idk there's nothing really to say. did not think i'd read that much jason stuff. all that is very recent i love that guy tho. cas is there twice so i combined him and the same for house. rickyl actually had theee same number of fics i gen think every fic i read with one had the other i don't read twd other than occasional rickyl. but yeah it's just spn, house, dc, twd

relationships!!! i decided to split this because otherwise it would tell me fuck all so romantic first (okay not romantic some of it is but a lot of it is. just porn)

destiel. stucky. hilson. fratt. spideypool. jayroy. im fucking boring. the pepperony is background in the irondad fics like literally all of it every single one. there are so so disappointingly few women in this but also that entirely makes sense. didn't think clint and matt would appear but also that's like about 7 fics so. the stuckony is entirely porn, the cassiedean is (almost) entirely t4t, the stony is also entirely porn other than like. three.

platonic time yeah that's. a lot of irondad. i have fucking nothing to say about any of this other than that the only ones i actively search out are matt & peter, team red, frank & peter, and nelson murdock and page my loves. also i read a total of 172 'peter field trip to si' fics with the tag. what the fuck.

this is entirely unsurprising i read a lot of fluff and a lot of angst. the nsfw stuff is just fun to look at i like how high pegging is. also rimming. i think the praise kink stuff is just in fics i have literally never tagged it in and don't look for it, pretty much the same with d/s but that's just bc i cba tagging it. also don't think i've tagged in either of the last two in the past year

edit: pegging stats. most pegged character was matt murdock, followed by dean winchester. 4 of the fics tagged pegging were m/m and maybe mentioned pegging. i am confused.

okay now just general fun shit to know. i missed watersports a total of 7 times and was either surprised by it or just read it anyway. i don't think i read something for it though. not sure? might've done tbh, who knows, i think the oviposition was jason todd. also. i just checked and i did not read a single fic tagged pregnancy i am so proud of myself. okay the jason ovi fic logically must have had it but . i do not fucking know

and then :) my favourite bit :) a total of 36 fics had 'no beta we die like _' tagged, some of them were about the author or not about a specific character so. yeah. but i've sorted them a little bit. jason is on where he was specified, men is not exclusively men and is variations of people, and tony was also under iron man

most importantly, authors!!!! in pink because pink, these are the authors i read 4 or more fics from, thank you!!! thank you @not_me_underc0ver for the irondad spiderson, thank you @sobsicles for making me cry, @dumbbitchnumberone for tvg and the dd/dp!!, and everyone else i read anything from <33

i think that's everything and i am gonna end up rbing this with something i forgot. also this is entirely for my own reference because i want to knowwww and compare things but my files from last year are not on this laptop and i cba to find them

update: i just searched my photos and found the ratings pie chart from last year, it was about 65% explicit, that's actually kinda impressive. also it was like 80% destiel which is . insane.

tagging @dicklessthewonderclown hi dean because i am gonna watch ur thing when u post it and @timetravelfag and @castielsprostate because hi look also vik u were the first person to come up when i typed @ i did not have to type u :D

[stark-tony]

underrated irondad and spiderson fic recs part 1

Men's Synch 3m Platform by loudestfandomsoftheworld

summary: or 5 times Peter Parker goes dumpster diving, and one time he does something else... " “You took my nephew dumpster diving?” Ben asked incredulously.

 His wife stood tall with a toddler strapped to her chest, tugging at one end of a couch with all her might. “I did not,” 

“Twash!” Peter yelled."

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

do you even remember what the world looks like? by iron_spider

summary: Tony’s heart has been working on overdrive since this whole thing started. Friday has a countdown clock plastered on the heads up display, but it feels like hieroglyphics to him at this point, like some ancient language he could never master.

Because when Peter Parker is missing, things start losing their meaning real quick.

“Should be around here,” Rhodey says on the com. May is still on the other line, listening in, because once a certain amount of time goes by without word from Peter, things move into Extremely Worried Aunt territory. They’re already in Tony Is Panicking territory, and when both of those territories overlap it’s never a good time for anybody.

Time? What the hell is time? His mind is blanking numbers out entirely. Minutes are seconds are hours are years.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Empty Casket by Jen27ny

summary: After the Vulture, Tony should have known better.

He should have listened to Peter.

But he didn’t.

And now, Peter is dead.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Patient #2252 by TheSoulOfAStrawberry

summary:  When a warehouse comes down on Spider-Man’s head and leaves him with a brain injury, Queens social worker Bianca Browne and Dr Grace Li of NY-Presbytarian Hospital find themselves racing the NYPD to uncover Spidey’s identity and get him help before he can be charged with a litany of crimes.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: police brutality

That's why they call me mr. fahrenheit by SparrowFlight246

summary: Peter’s on fire.

He wakes up fast, and before he even gets the chance to feel the pain, the aches, the dizziness, he feels the heat. It’s all encompassing, a raging inferno blooming from within him and burning him up from the inside out, and god, it—

—god, it hurts.

-

Peter gets whammied by a 24-hour superbug, and Tony’s left to keep him alive until tomorrow morning.

It sounds a hell of a lot easier than it ends up being.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

not like megatron by iron_spider

summary: “Hi! This is Peter Parker, I can’t get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back later! Hopefully not too much later, but don’t get your hopes up!”

Tony knows that message by heart. He’s heard it hundreds of times, in a greyer world, and it sends shivers down his spine as he climbs into the car.

He doesn’t think about that place. That half-world. No way, that’s done, that’s over, that’s history.“Hey, kid, don’t you know it’s bad etiquette to go and disappear on your birthday? Not allowed, really, really bad vibes from the universe. What’s going on with your suit? I wasn’t watching. Nope. Just got an alert. What’s going on? Uh, call me back.” He clears his throat and hangs up like a moron, driving out into the street.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater by frostysunflowers

summary:  ''Dying.''

''You’re not dying.''

''Totally am.'

'''God, I hope not, otherwise May will skin me alive.''

or

A weekend visit to the cabin doesn't go according to plan.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, humor

warnings: none

an irondad's misguided approach to homesickness by livingtheobsessedlife

summary: Peter mentions it once. Once. That he’s maybe kinda sorta vaguely somewhat homesick. MIT is no Queens, that’s all really. All in all, Pete’s having a great time at college. Really, truly.

The thing is that Tony’s never really taken the whole ‘only mentioning it once’ thing all that well. Not when it comes to Peter at least.

This time is no exception.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

you held your pride like you should have held me by searchingforstars

summary: “I had to take the risk!” Peter snaps. “I saved your life.”

Tony’s stare hardens. “Yeah, and nearly ended your goddamn own. This isn’t a trade-off. It wasn’t your call to make.”

“You would have done the same thing to protect me,” Peter points out. Tony just seethes at the statement.

“I don’t care about what you think I would have done. You are not me. And I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself."

--

or, as the timer ticked down, Peter knew his only option was to take things into his own hands. He just didn’t expect Tony to be mad at him for saving his life.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

always on duty by parkrstark

summary:  Peter manages to convince Tony to take him to a gala, but when Tony is hurt, he realizes that it's just as dangerous to be Tony Stark as it is to be Iron Man. 

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, humor

warnings: none

Out of Left Field by blondsak, seekrest

summary: Even if Tony didn’t end up becoming a big fan of the Mets, Peter knew they’d still have a great time at the game. And the fact that Tony wanted to go with Peter badly enough to make it clear that he should buy a pair of tickets as a birthday gift?

Peter shakes his head fondly.

Maybe for once the month of May was going to work out for him after all.

pairings: spideychelle

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

three weeks, two days, seven hours by crowkag

summary: It was a mess. A real mess. Peter had been gone for three weeks, two days, and seven hours, taken right out from under their noses.

And Tony was laying on the floor.

(AKA “you’ll always get there first”, but from Tony’s POV.)

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: 

for as long as i live and as long as i love (i will never not think about you) by searchingforstars

summary: When Tony first started to forget things, Peter thought maybe it was just age. People’s memories fade as they get older, right? Minds get weaker. It’s just natural.

But Tony has arguably the sharpest mind of the 21st century. Peter should have realised that it was never going to be just getting weaker. It was never going to be just age.

No - not when the sharpest mind of the 21st century also happened to come into contact with the deadliest amount of gamma radiation known to man five years ago.

--

or, Tony’s sacrifice is still haunting them five years later. Peter has to come to terms with the fact that Tony’s memory is fading.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

a dream is a wish by floweryfran

summary: Tony seems to panic for a moment, shifting his weight foot to foot, before spitting out in one mouthful, “I have a business trip in Florida right before your spring break and I talked to May and she says I can bring you to Disney for the week once it’s done ahhh.” He then breathes, grins plastically, and holds his hands out, like, I’m Tony Stark, hold your applause.

Peter runs the words through his head no less than three times to make sure he had understood them properly. “Disney—you and me—spring break?” he repeats.

Tony nods, hair flopping. “I mean, like, don’t feel obligated to say yes, but I thought it would be fun since May says you’ve never gone and she would’ve been working for your whole break anyway, y’know, at least this way we won’t be worrying about you sitting home alone for hours doing G-d only knows what—building accidental robot armies or something, or, worse, becoming a couch potato and forgetting every bit of knowledge I’ve ever carefully placed in that rat trap you call a brain—”

“Tony,” Peter says, waving his hands to shut Tony up. Something warm sits in the core of his chest, hovering. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, yeah, for sure, let’s—Disney. Let’s go. Wow.”

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Of birthday cake and millennium falcons by frostysunflowers

summary: "You still haven’t answered my question," MJ says, taking another sip of her juice.

 "Isn’t it obvious?" Tony replies, scratching at one of the scars on his neck with the end of a screwdriver. "It’s Ben’s birthday."

"And Ben’s birthday warrants a…" MJ waves a hand vaguely, "what the hell is that thing anyway?"

or

Tony has no self control when it comes to birthday parties and his grandson.

pairings: spideychelle

tags: fluff

warnings: none

what i have, i give to you by aatticsaltt

summary:  Tony would give everything to Peter Parker, if he asked for it. When May calls telling Tony she thinks Peter isn't feeling well, he drops everything to go check up on his favorite spider kid.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Smile! by aatticsaltt

summary:  Taking Peter to Disney World was one of Tony's better ideas.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

and when it's hard, i'll place your head into my hands by hopeless_hope

summary: “Tony,” Pepper sing-songs to get his attention. “Your mother hen is showing.”

“What?” he snaps indignantly. “I am not a mother hen. This is just... concern. Of the average kind. Perfectly normal.”

“Of course,” Pepper humors him, and he shoots her a dirty look as he types out a quick text to Peter.

or

It's been five days since Tony's heard from Peter, who's away at college, and Tony is not coping well. (Neither is Peter.)

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

Of Wally-Crawly Harnesses and Over-Enthusiastic Hat-Bestowing Capabilities by TheOceanIsMyInkwell

summary: Tony raises a brow at him in triumph, then sniffs and rubs the side of his nose. “Besides, think of it this way. Now you got a bullet-proof neck.”

“Nobody would even shoot a sad-looking orphan bundled like a spring roll in Red Heart yarn,” Peter points out. “That’s just low.”

“Excuse me, young buck, I resent the implication that I would let Red Heart come within an inch of your skin.”

“You’re insufferable,” Peter says flatly. “I hate you.”

“And just for that, I think this calls for those wool socks I was working on,” Tony says brightly.

“No--no, wait--”

“It’s time to learn that your consequences have actions, Parker--”

“Wait, wait, I love your knitting, I think it’s super healthy and fulfilling and honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to you since you retired!” Peter hollers at the man’s figure as it retreats quickly down the hallway. -- After Peter faints into hibernation because he can't thermoregulate, Tony isn't taking anymore chances. Out come the wool skeins and the knitting needles.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

how do you sandwich!? by killerqueenwrites

summary: “Why are you buttering toast before you toast it?

”“I’m not toasting this.”

“Then what are you doing?” Peter demands.

“I’m making a sandwich.”

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

What I Can't Live Without by aatticsaltt

summary: Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Heavy lies the heart of the father who has to watch his son bow beneath the weight of the world.

or: When Peter calls Happy needing a ride out of the Netherlands, it's Tony who comes to the rescue.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Tales from Quarantine by just_a_hungry_author

summary: Peter, Morgan, and Tony are all stuck inside during the Coronavirus quarantine. Morgan learns to play Monopoly, Tony struggles to help with 1st grade math, and a prank war ensues.

God, this is the longest two weeks ever.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

if we have each other by ftmpeter

summary: "Do you ever just, like, feel like you’re upside down?"

"You are upside down, Pete."

"Sounds fake."

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

What Happens in the Blanket Fort Stays in the Blanket Fort by TheOceanIsMyInkwell

summary: “Well, I was gonna discuss with May some legal particulars about changes to my will that involve you,” Tony drawls, “but looks like I’ll just have to change my plans.”

There’s a beat. And then a yodel: “I’m just a poor boy, I need--”

“If not for this goddamn quarantine, I’d be there in a flash to shut you up myself, Spidey-Tighties.”

“You made these ‘tights’.”

“Funsie-onesie.”

“Mr. Stark.”

“Cooty-footies.”

“Mr. Stark. I’m begging you. What does that even mean.” -- Tony comes over to keep Peter company during the quarantine while the kid waits for May to come home from work at the hospital. Bants are had. Feelings are spilled. And maybe, just maybe, a hug or two is shared.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

On his Shoulders by snarkymuch

summary: “Please, please,” Tony begged, “Keep breathing, kid. Don’t do this to me. You can’t leave me like this.” The morning started like any other for Tony. He kissed Pepper good morning and sipped his coffee. He scanned his emails and chatted with Pepper about the vacation they were always planning but never took. The calm should have been a warning, as the storm always followed.

OR

Peter and Tony get trapped in a building collapse and Peter is gravely injured.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

coronapocalypse by peterstank

summary:  “This whole quarantine thing shouldn’t even apply to me.”

“Uh, I beg to differ, it’s very serious,” replies Tony’s voice, slightly muffled like he’s got his phone pressed between his shoulder and chin. “We’re all on lockdown, which means no leaving your place unless it’s for emergencies.”

“And what qualifies as an emergency?”

There’s a pause.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not in your apartment?”

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

Little White Lies by snarkymuch

summary:  Peter gets injured and tries to treat it himself, hiding it from Tony, but he can't keep it hidden forever.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Peter Parker and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Semester by just_a_hungry_author

summary: "So tell me, Kid." Tony said, patting the space next to him. "What's been going on?"

"Nothing's been going on." Peter denied, but he sat down anyway.

"Pete, don't bottle your emotions up. Only I'm allowed to do that."

When Peter again didn't smile at his joke, Tony continued. "I know you're stressed, Bud. But tell me why so I can help you."

"It's nothing you can help." Peter mumbled.

"Can I at least try?"

"I've just been having a bad week."

OR: Peter’s been having a rough time at college, Tony tries to jump in and help. 3000 words of pure fluff.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Windy Webs by silentsaebyeok

summary:  And that was it. He was officially an idiot. Peter didn’t mean to be dramatic, but this was one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to him, even if there was no one around to witness the fall of the century. -- Peter goes web-slinging in dangerous weather and gets seriously injured. It doesn't help that he has to spend the whole summer living with the consequences.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Peter gets the chickenpox by snarkymuch

summary:  Peter and Morgan both catch the chickenpox. Morgan's case is mild, but Peter's is severe. Tony takes care of them both.

pairings:  none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

[snakebites-22]

Ain’t No Rest for a Struggling Teen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By: @the-panwitch for @sapphirestark

Rating: General Audiences 

Relationships: Irondad and Spiderson

Characters: Tony Stark and Peter Parker

Word Count: 1292

Warnings: angst with happy ending, high school is shit, Tony is the best dad, if anyone even thinks about tagging this as St*rker I’ll rearrange your digestive system 

Summary: Peter is the best intern and son that Tony could have ever accidentally discovered he had. He’s helpful, smart, goofy, and all around the best support system Tony could have ever hoped for, but lately Peter seems to be doing everything to avoid him. What’s going on? 

A/N: This is probably really bad considering I wrote it late at night after typing out an essay for government, but I tried to get in everything that was requested by @sapphirestark so I hope everyone enjoys reading it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being a teenager was hard. Even harder when said teen was also a superhero and the son of one of the most powerful men in the universe. Seriously. Peter Parker, also known as Peter Stark, Peter Parker-Stark, Spider-Man, Underoos, kid, loser, Penis Parker, etc, was that teenager. His dad was Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, loving father, philanthropist. It was discovered that Peter was Tony’s biological son totally by accident. See, when Peter first started interning for Stark Industries, he had several medical tests done by some of the most prestigious doctors to probably ever exist to make sure he wasn’t some alien imposter or something. However, this led to the doctors discovering that not only was Peter Spider-Man, he was also their boss’s kid. Turns out, Peter’s mom and Tony had a one night stand eons ago, so, yeah. 

Now, Peter was one of the best interns Tony could have ever asked for, as well as the best son. He was super helpful, a literal genius, a huge goofball, and the perfect support system for a man like Stark. Peter had been around Stark Industries for nearly a year now, and when he wasn’t in the lab he was on patrol. Tony couldn’t be prouder of him. Except, there was one thing bothering Tony: lately it seemed as though Peter wanted to be anywhere except around Tony.

He was constantly locked in his room or down in the lab working on who knows what, and whenever Tony tried talking to him he would brush it off and hide out somewhere. It was really concerning to watch. The more he investigated, the worse that concern got. He noticed the bags under his eyes, the unhealthy amount of caffeine, and the most horrifying of all, the slow increase of crime around the city. Peter wasn’t patrolling nearly as much as he usually did, yet patrolling was Peter’s favorite thing about any day. Going out as Spider-Man and helping a lady across the street or catching a little kid’s dog could brighten Peter’s day within a second. It was his calling. What happened? Tony was determined to find out. 

It was just a regular Tuesday and Tony was down in the lab perfecting the next Spider-Man upgrade. This was upgrade project 34, but Peter was only aware of about 13 of them. Probably a good thing, too. If Peter knew then the intervention Tony had planned would probably get turned back on him. 

The billionaire glanced at the clock. It was nearly four o’clock, band practice had to be over by now. Just as this thought crossed his mind, the doors to the lab slid open and FRIDAY announced, “Welcome home Peter.” 

“Thanks Fri,” came the mumbled reply. God he sounded exhausted. 

Tony turned in his seat, the screwdriver sliding out of his hand, just to see Peter shuffling off to his corner of the lab as quickly as a clearly drained teenager could. 

“Hey Pete,” Tony called, causing Peter to freeze in his tracks. “Got a minute?”

“I um, I actually have homework. I want to get it done before patrol.” He didn’t turn around which caused Tony to frown. 

“It’s just a minute. Come sit.” 

Peter sighed and dropped his head before shuffling back over towards Tony and plopping down in the seat across from him. Tony looked over him quickly, his eyebrows furrowing as he saw the dark circles under his kid’s eyes. Peter looked a little too similar to Tony when he was going through his worst days, and that was definitely not a good sign. 

“Yes?” Peter sighed. He wouldn’t look at his father’s eyes, his body language clearly stating he wanted to be anywhere but in that seat. 

“Peter are you okay?” 

The teen jumped a little and glanced at him, his tired eyes a little wider than they were a second ago. 

“Yeah um yeah of course. Why..why are you asking?” 

Tony sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Peter I know what struggling looks like. If those bags under your eyes get any darker you’ll look like you’re back in your emo phase.” 

“Dad I was thirteen-”

“Not the point. Look, you seem like you’re barely sleeping, I hardly see you anymore, and I know you aren’t patrolling. What’s going on?” 

Peter’s jaw clenched and he looked down at his lap. Tony watched him for a minute, and another, and he was about to call this meeting off and let Peter go when the boy let out a shaky sigh. 

“Graduation is coming up.” 

Tony nodded slowly. He knew that. Hell, he had that marked in his calendar the second he found out the date. 

“Yeah...is that the problem?”

“It’s..part of it,” Peter mumbled. Tony pretended not to hear how his voice shook and how whenever there was a pause a sniffle could be heard. 

“It’s just...I have so much work now a-and I have all these tests and assignments and projects and I don’t have time to patrol and my last test I barely passed on and someone found out and told everyone how they got a better grade than me and I feel like I-I’m failing and-”

“Hang on, hang on.” Tony reached over and held Peter’s now shaking shoulders as the younger barely held back the rapiding approaching sobs that threatened to spill over his lips. “Kid, you’re spiraling a bit. I need you to breathe okay?” 

Peter nodded, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his school hoodie and breathing slowly. Tony waited a few moments to allow him some calm down time before continuing. 

“You said a kid shared your grade?” 

Peter nodded again and looked back down. “I got a 79% and I guess they did better than me...a-and now everyone knows that I’m not-not actually as smart as they all thought I was… I-I was being considered for valedictorian but now that’s probably gone...I don’t know what I’m doing anymore dad.” 

Tony’s shattered heart gained a few more cracks as he listened to this kid, his kid. “Oh Peter,” he said softly, gently gathering the small boy into his arms. “You are one of the smartest kids I know. Trust me, I don’t know anyone else who was able to develop his own webbing by himself or be one of the most important members of the Academic Decathlon. 

“I know getting a lower grade is hard. I also know it’s even harder getting compared to other people and having others tell you that they’re better than you. But you listen to me.”

At this Tony looked down and waited until he made eye contact with Peter. “You listen. I don’t care about you being valedictorian. I don’t even care about straight A’s. I know you’re doing your absolute best and I couldn’t be prouder. However, I also know how much valedictorian means to you, so I will support you on that okay? But this barely sleeping and overloading yourself isn’t working. So, I’m going to help you come up with a better plan. We’ll figure out what we can do to balance everything so that you’re sleeping and also getting work done and also making sure you have time to patrol. How does that sound?”

Silent tears were streaming down Peter’s face, and for a second Tony was terrified he did something wrong. All those fears went away the second Peter threw his arms around him and hugged him tightly. 

“Thank you. Thank you, dad. That sounds awesome.” 

Tony chuckled and ruffled his hair gently. “No problem kid. Let’s get to work. FRIDAY, pull up Peter’s school schedule. Pete let’s look at your homework. What do you got?”

“Calculus.” 

“Good God, no wonder you’re practically dying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @friendly-neighborhood-exchange @soft-petey @tommysparker @bebbeb  @stixnstripesworld @orowit @dreamerinthesun @ididntseeurbag @bruhelpimgay @yikes-n-bikes @becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot @thespydersargon @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @th0ttie4tommy

[avenging-criminal-bones]

97%

Irondad & Spiderson

Word Count: 1450

Summary: Peter is promised a surprise if he gets at least a 97% on his English essay

Warnings: This is one of those rare times where I wrote pure fluff

* * * * *

"Sorry Ned, I totally forgot." Peter sighs a little after he puts his phone away. he had just gotten a text from Happy reminding Peter that he wouldn't be coming to get him after school today. "Mr. Stark is picking me up from school today. I can't do the sleepover. I'm sorry, bro." Peter talks fast as the two of them walk down the hallway to their last class of the day. 

Peter doesn't miss his friend's disappointed sigh, but he doesn't have time to think about it when Ned punches him in the arm. 

"Wait! Doesn't Mr. Stark always pick you up on Friday's?" He eyes Peter suspiciously, making Peter squirm. 

"No. Well, yes- But today it's actually Mr. Stark. Not Happy under Stark's request." He dumbly explains the situation to Ned and rubs at his face to try and wipe the cringe off of it.

"Hold on. Mr. Stark is going to be in a lambo in," Ned checks his watch and continues, "43 minutes, to pick YOU up from school?" He looks at his watch again and says, "Sorry, 42 minutes."

Laughing, Peter starts to walk away. He nods as he answers, "Pretty much, except it's actually going to be an Audi. Mr. Stark doesn't drive lambos. He says they hurt his butt." Peter looks down and then back up at Ned, who was still staring with awe at his watch. 

He mumbled '41 minutes' as he turned to start walking to his desk.

They part ways then to take their seats on opposite sides of the classroom. If there was one smart teacher at Midtown, this was is. Mrs. Graydon was the only teacher who noticed Ned and Peter's constant talking and she separated them within the first week of school.

The next 41 minutes after they sit down, Peter doesn't even pay attention to the lecture. The time is spent with Peter sharing excited looks at Ned, longing glances at MJ, and a threatening text from Mr. Stark.

Mr. Stark! :) : Spiderling. If you do not bring me an English paper with a 97% or higher, the only thing you will be doing at the compound this weekend will be writing English papers. See you in a few kid.

Peter sends back a string of emojis and looks up at the clock. After that he glances over at Ned who is just looking up from his watch. He mouths 'three minutes'.

Nodding his head, Peter has to try and keep the smile off of his face when Mrs. Graydon sends a sharp glare to him. 

Soon enough, the bell rings and Peter is springing out of his desk. On his way out he bumps Ned in a short goodbye and all but runs to the back of the school where Happy usually picks him up. Before he even stepped out through the doors, Peter saw Mr. Stark, sitting in a bright blue Audi. 

"Ha! I knew it!" He whispers to himself in excitement. His steps gradually get bigger, and closer to strides, but soon enough he is throwing himself into the car.

"Woah! Underoos, if you get in any faster you're going to forget your body and I'll just have a couple feet in my car." Tony looks at the kid and sighs before adding, "Why were you running like you were in an old cartoon, kid?"

Peter's smile never falters as he says, "Because I won." He reaches into his jeans pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper, holding it right in Tony's face. "Look!" He drops it in his mentor's lap and waits with a smug smile as Tony unfolds it. 

"99%. Huh. Not bad, kid." Peter knew he was trying to act like it was no big deal, but he could hear the pride lacing the older man's words. 

Matter-of-factly, Peter said, "You have to put it on one of your fridges now. Preferably the one in the common room so all the Avengers can see how undeniably amazing I am."

Tony lets out a deep laugh and nods, "Duly noted, Pete. You did good. I suppose I have to carry through with my promised surprise now?" He puts the gear in drive and looks around before pulling out of the school parking lot. 

Peter was quick to shake his head. "Oh! Uh, no sir- Mr. Stark, if it's a bother-"

"Kid, I told you I would. Besides, you did great things. I'm proud of you, I want to do it." Tony glanced over at the blushing kid and chuckled. Peter's face was red and he was embarrassed, but now he was also happy. Mr. Stark is proud of me. 

That thought alone was enough to get Peter's smile back. "Alright. Thank's Mr. Stark, I really appreciate it." 

Waving his thanks off, Tony's smugness comes back, "So a 99%? What happened with the one?"

"I used the word 'butt' and my teacher got mad." Peter bitterly scowls. "It wasn't even bad, I just said, 'like a butt on the subway', but that's to be expected!"

Tony can't help but snicker, "What was the essay about?" He was glad that his attempt at distracting the kid was working. He really wanted the trip to be a surprise. 

"The cleanliness of public transportation." Peter looks down at the -1 on his paper. "Which, by the way, is something that I will never use again. It's disgusting in there." 

"I wouldn't know." Tony mumbles as he pulls the car into the parking lot of a small building with neon signs in the window. Peter looks up at the place when he feels the car slowing down. 

His eyes blow wide and he looks at Mr. Stark in disbelief. "Wait! You brought me to a putt putt place?" 

"Um. No. I brought us to a putt putt place. I am a master, so prepare to get your ass kicked." Tony says the words in a 'duh' voice as he steps out of the car. Peter rushes to catch up with him. "You think I am just gonna sit and watch?" 

Peter couldn't believe it. Mr. Stark, an Avenger, was going to play a game of putt putt? With him? "Uh. Wait. Mr. Stark, you know where we are right? And what putt putt is?" Peter looks at the ground where his feet shuffle awkwardly, waiting for his mentor to change his mind. He looks up when he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

"Pete, how old do you think I am? You know, don't answer that. Yes, I know, and yes, I want to." Tony sends him a slight smile and starts walking again. "When we get back to the compound we are going to apparently have a very long self-worth talk." He looks down again to see Peter smiling wide and shaking his head. 

"It's not that! I was just making sure that Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist knew what he signed up for." Peter laughs a little as they grab clubs and brightly colored golf balls. 

"How do you know about that?!" Tony glanced over to the kid in shock and placed the red ball down. He hit it and watched as it barely made it half of the way to the basic hole. 

Peter smirks and lines up his blue golf ball. He hits it harder than Tony had and chuckles when it sinks easily into the first hold. "Cap and I are tight, man." 

Tony huffs about how, 'the Avengers need to keep their traps shut' as he finishes the whole. 

After the next five holes go the same, Peter places a hand on Tony's arm. "It seems as though the apprentice has surpassed the master." 

"Yeah, yeah. Let's get out of here, I'm a tired old man." Tony chuckles a little, but tries to stay calm and collected. 

Peter stops at the car and stands in front of Tony's door. He starts speaking almost too fast for Tony to keep up. 

"Thank you so, so, so, much! That was AWESOME! You suck at it, but it's really cool. Thank's Dad- Mr- Tony- Iron- Uh. Thanks, Mr. Stark." Peter gives a sheepish smile and looks down quickly. He rushes around the car and gets in as Tony stands there, trying to process what the kid just said. Once it registers though, left on his face is a fond smile. 

Anytime, son. 

He wipes the smile off of his face so as not to give himself away and gets in the car. 

"You hungry, kid?" 

"Food! Yeah-Yes, yes. Thanks, Mr. Stark." Peter's face is still red, but he sends the older man a genuine smile as Tony starts the car. 

[theatrelove3000]

Moving Day

Hi! I hate writing these so I am keeping it short. I procrastinated this for the last 13 days but I finally finished it! Also, @thatavengersbitch if you post about my misspelling Stark tower, you will get no Irondad.

Summary: Loki and Noelle move into Stark Tower and watch the Baby Starks.

Warnings: Idk. Swearing maybe? There are references to sex but nothing to crazy. Mostly kissing.

Moving Day

Noelle PoV:

“I think that is everything.” I say breathlessly as I drop the last box onto the floor of the bedroom.

Loki comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. Placing a kiss on my cheek and setting his chin on my shoulder, he starts to complain.“I still do not see why we cannot just share a bed chamber. I know they do not know we are courting but... well. I don’t really sleep without you.” Loki says softly.

I turn in his arms to face him and wrap my arms around his neck. “We are going to share a room. We just can’t do so publicly yet. We have to lay low for a while.” He huffs and pouts, his lower lip jutting out slightly. I laugh and press my lips to his for a moment before backing away and starting to unpack the boxes. 

“Are we going to let them believe we are simply friends? I am not sure if you have noticed but you do not look at me the way you would a friend.” He asks, picking up his box of books and starting to put them in the bookcase.

I scoff, “Me?! What about you? It’s like you have suction cups for fingers!”

“Me? Initiating physical contact? Never.” He comes up behind me and growls the ‘never’ in my ear. He is close but not actually touching me. My automatic reaction is to lean into him. It isn’t until after I did it that it occurs to me that I proved his point.

He laughs triumphantly and wraps his arms around my waist, bending to kiss my neck. Before we can go any further, we are interrupted by a knock on the door. I sigh and Loki groans, releasing me. I open the door and am met by the Iron Man himself.

“Good, you aren’t busy.” He enters the living room, looking around.

“No, no. We aren't unpacking or anything.” I mutter sarcastically. Tony didn’t seem to hear me.

He rounds on me and starts talking again. “So I have a gala tonight and I remembered that you aren’t the biggest fan of crowds so I wondered if you could watch Morgan tonight. Pete is staying here, too, so he will help out. I am willing to pay you to babysit if you want.”

“I’m down. What time are you leaving?”

“About 6:30. I can drop her here but she needs to end up in her room at my place.” He adds, glancing at a text he got.

“We can chill in the lounge and carry her to her own bed.” I say. I catch a glance at who he is talking to and what the contact name is. Spiderson. “Have you adopted the kid yet?” I chuckle.

Tony’s head shoots up to glare at me. “If you must know, I just talked to his aunt about it. I am waiting for the paperwork to show up.”

“That’s fantastic, Tones!” I hug him and he willingly reciprocates. We have been working on physical affection and he has gotten a lot better about it. “Congratulations. Have you told him yet?”

“No. I am waiting for the paperwork to ask him. Don’t say anything about it yet, okay?”

“Got it. Hey! Could I take Morgan with me to the grocery store? It would be better for us to go later in the day so that we aren’t recognized as much.” I throw an arm around his shoulders.

“We normally have things delivered if you’d prefer that than going to a store. We haven’t really been going out since the news of Sokovia broke. Quite the uproar.” He pokes my ribs, trying to make me laugh through the seriousness of his statement.

“Nah. I got this. I am better at disguises than you dweebs. Sunglasses, baseball caps, and hoodies? Amateurs!” 

“You can change your appearance at will!” Tony argues back.

“You can?” I hear a voice behind me and both Tony and I jump.

“By the Norns, Loki! That isn’t funny. You can’t just pop up behind me like that; you’ll hurt yourself.” I warn him, raising an eyebrow.

He laughs and teasingly pats my head. “But then I would never get any of those amusing reactions. And you didn’t answer my question, Noelle.”

I sigh, “Yes I can change my appearance at will. I practiced with Frigga after you fell from the bridge. I thought I told you this?”

“I feel as though-”

“Okay! Time out for thee and time out for thee.” Tony stops us dramatically, “Focus on issues or focus on me.”

Loki and I pause for a moment, looking at the man of Iron. 

“So the kid showed me Thomas Sanders and I think he’s funny. Sue me!”

“I am using that.”

“Thanks a lot, Tony.”

“Blame the kid! Will you come with me for a bit? I need some help with things only you know the answer to.” Tony tips his  head towards the door.

“Uh, sure. You keep unpacking, I will be back.” I say to Loki as I follow Tony out the door.

We head to the elevators and he pushes the button leading to his personal apartments.

“Are you sure he is safe to be around?” he asks.

I roll my eyes and sigh. “Yes. If you are worried about how he will be with Morgan, he had a son before. And from what I have seen at the garden parties, he is excellent with her age group.”

“Wasn’t his son a horse though?” 

“No!” I laugh, “He was Asgardian and looked like we do. Those stories of his ‘children’ were rumours Thor made up and spread to the Midgardians that worshiped them.”

Tony chuckles. “Whatever. If you stay with him, fine. Don't leave him by himself.”

“Yeah. Okay.” He opens the door to his apartment and I am suddenly hit with the smell of pizza and the sound of a toddler playing with her future older brother.

“Hey, kiddos!” I say as I walk in.

“Auntie Elle!” Morgan cries.

“Hi, Baby Stark! How are you?” I ask, lifting the two year old up and onto my hip. She nuzzles into my neck and Peter comes over, doing the same. 

“We are great! Morgan and I missed you. Have you brought Mr. Loki this time?” Peter questions lively.

“I did! He is downstairs unpacking the apartment. He is gonna be helping me watch you two tonight.”

Peter does one of those weird dances and Morgan squeals. The children have never met Loki but Peter really wants to and Morgan doesn’t really know the difference. She is too young to have prejudices against other people. 

I set Morgan on her feet and watch her take off back to the table where she colours while Pete does his homework. I spot Pepper enter the room and make my way over to give her a quick hug.

“Are you settling nicely? Apartment is to your liking?” She asks me, pulling away and patting her daughter’s head. 

“It’s wonderful. Thank you both for letting us move in. We really appreciate it.”

“Nonsense. You don’t need to thank us, Elle. You are family. We wouldn’t have let you live in the streets.” Tony chimes in, draping an arm around my shoulders. “Plus, free babysitting!”

“Woah, woah, woah there, Iron Man. You said you’d pay for my services.” I tease, pushing him away.

He laughs and ducks away from me, “Are you asking for compensation, Lady Darkness?”

“No,” I sigh, “But I am not totally opposed to you buying my groceries?” I cock an eyebrow at him. Pep laughs and hands me a credit card with my name on it. 

“Company card. Whatever you need, we got you.” 

“Thanks, Pep. I am going to go help Loki unpack the rest of our stuff. That is, unless you need me for anything else?”

“Nope. get outta here. See you in a few hours!”

I wave to the children and head back to my room.

~~~~~Le Time Skip~~~~~

Loki is sitting in a chair with a book open in his lap while I am in the common kitchen making tea for both of us. When I finish, I take him one of the mugs. He thanks me and lets his fingers linger on mine for a moment longer than necessary. I walk away before he can decide that he doesn’t care if the others know of our relationship. 

As I sit on the couch and open my book, I hear the elevator doors open and the patter of two little rubber soles running as fast as they could to the couch. 

“Hi!” cries the culprit of the noise. 

“Hello, Morgan! Are you ready to go to the store with me?” 

“Yes!” 

“Okay. Let me put my shoes on and we can go.” I tell her and set her on the couch next to me. 

“We will be back around one or two. Behave yourselves, don’t burn down my tower.” Tony pops his head in and sends Peter into the room.

As I lace up my combat boots, I hear Peter approach Loki. I look up to watch what the kid does.

He sticks his hand out to shake Loki’s hand. “Hi, I’m Peter!”

Loki glances at me before setting his book aside and taking Pete’s hand. “Loki of Asgard.”

Peter releases Loki’s hand and bounces on the balls of his feet. “So… are you really a… bad guy? Auntie Elle says you aren’t but you hear things.”

Loki smirks at the spiderling’s question. “Well, Peter. My villainy varies from moment to moment.”

“Okay! So on a scale from one to ten, ten being, like, killing puppies and one being ‘I’ll spit on your hotdog’, where are you right now?” 

Loki chuckles and purses his lips thinking about it. “Maybe a three?”

“Cool.” Peter says happily, “Just let me know if it gets above a six okay?”

Loki nods and whispers in my mind ‘I like him.’

‘I knew you would!’ I reply. “Okay, kiddos!” I say, out loud this time. “Are we all ready to go to the store? We need to get stuff to make cookies!”

Morgan cheers and tugs my shirt to lift her up. “Before we go… Morgan, this is my very, very good friend, Loki.” 

The toddler gives him a big smile and he waves at her, smiling just as wide at her. The four of us get on the elevator and take it down to the garage level and load into one of Tony’s cars. I drive because a car is not a horse and Loki doesn’t get to drive Tony’s Mercedes. 

~~~~~Le Time Skip II~~~~~

After making cookies, we all sit on the couch for a while and watch Morgan’s favorite movie: Frozen. Morgan is weary of Loki at first but after he uses his magic to turn off the lights and makes a glowing golden orb appear, she is totally comfortable with him. She even tells Peter, “Issa wizard, Petey!” making all of us laugh.

As the night grew later, Morgan warmed up to Loki considerably. She actually ends up crawling over to him and leaning into him during the movie when she gets tired. She falls asleep on his chest and he carries her up to her room. 

She wakes up when he sets her down and she asks him to read to her. 

“Of course, smár einn. What would you like to hear?”

She grins, scrambles out of bed and over to her little white bookcase. She pulls out the book she wants and hands it to Loki.

“Goodnight Moon?” He reads the title and she nods enthusiastically. He nods and helps her back into bed. He sits beside her after she tucks herself in. “Ready?”

“Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown. In the great green room; there was a telephone; and a red balloon; and a picture of; the cow jumping over; And three little bears sitting on chairs; And two little kittens; And a pair of mittens; And a little toy house; And a young mouse; And a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush; And a quiet old lady who was whispering ‘hush’” 

Baby Stark is falling asleep but is obviously trying to fight it. She keeps trying to keep her eyes open after a particularly long blink. I have to admit I feel a little sleepy myself, what with my lover reading one of my favorite stories from my childhood aloud. How could you not with a velvet voice like his?

“Good night room; Goodnight moon; Goodnight cow jumping over the moon; Goodnight light; And the red balloon; Goodnight Bears; Goodnight chairs; Goodnight Kittens; And goodnight mittens; Goodnight clocks; And goodnight socks; Goodnight little house; And goodnight mouse; Goodnight comb; And goodnight brush; Goodnight nobody; Goodnight mush; Ang goodnight to the old lady whispering ‘hush’;Goodnight stars; Goodnight air; Goodnight noises everywhere.” He finishes at a whisper. She is asleep. 

“Well done.” We hear a whisper at the door. I jump slightly but Loki doesn’t react much. “She never falls asleep that fast.” Tony says, slightly begrudgingly. 

“His voice is soothing to everyone. I am half asleep myself.” I nudge Tony as we all walk out to the elevator. “Have fun tonight?”

He rolls his eyes. “Tons. I am going to bed now. Thank you again.”

“Any time, Tones.” I say as the doors close and Loki and I are finally alone.

He stands relatively close to me and lets his fingers brush my own. If I wasn’t positive of the cameras in the elevator, I would kiss him right here and now.

‘I figured as much.’ He says.

‘I want my bed.’ I groan.

‘I love when you are in bed.’ He smirks. I roll my eyes and elbow him, causing more of a bruise to myself than any damage on him. He chuckles as the doors open again and we enter our apartment. 

As soon as the door is closed behind us, my back is to it and his lips are on mine.

“Calm down.” I whisper against his lips when we come up for air.

“It is difficult knowing that I am in a society where touching you isn’t scandalous and not being able to because we have to keep our relationship a secret.” He growls against my throat. “I am touch-starved.”

I laugh and run my fingers through his hair. “I really am tired, Loki.” I whisper.

“Let me escort you to our chambers then, my love.” And with that, he scoops me up into his arms and carries my to the bedroom. He sets me on the bed and I start to stand up to change into pyjamas but he pushes me back down. He moves to the dresser and pulls out his black sleep pants and my flannel shorts. He throws them to me as I start peeling my clothes off my body.

“You didn’t give me a top.” I tell him. He pulls his own shirt off and hands it to me.

“Problem solved.” 

I laugh and tug his shirt over my head, breathing him in. He smells like tea and old books and the forest. Like home. 

Laying back, I settle against the pillows and watch him move across the rooms to catch the lightswitch. He crawls in next to me and lets me curl into his warmth. 

“You are very good with her.” I whisper.

“She reminds me of Nari. Just as happy as he was.” He mutters.

I let my hand stroke his face, comforting him anyway I can. Nari dies centuries ago but the loss of a child never heals completely. “He loved you.”

“He would have loved you, as well.”

I smile. He thinks his son would have loved me.

Loki starts humming to me. It’s an old Asgardian lullaby that never fails to knock me out. 

I fall asleep minutes later.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

Idk if your asks are open, but, "I thought I could trust you" with ralbert???? Owo

…okay so….

hello everyone. oh boyyyy

so this fic, well, its a Bit of a train wreck. well, maybe kind of not? but theres a story and im going to tell it anyway.

Once Upon The Beginning Of Last Semester Sometime mikey and i were like “lol lets Finally have an angst off !!” and we had you guys pick prompts and were like okay bet lets Do This. and i came up with this completely wild crazy idea and was like “okay this is going to be Great.” well, spoiler alert, i got a few thousand words in and realized that it was Not what i wanted so i rewrote it and came up with a new plot. and then i got Stuck.

meanwhile, mikey had finished his fic like Weeks before and was like “saph cmon are you gonna finish it?” and i was like “uh maybe yeah” and i tried and failed. and tried and failed again. and then life smacked me in the face for awhile. and then mikey was like “okay im just gonna post mine cause i kinda like it and you post yours when youre ready” and he did. and its very good. and im kind of glad we didnt have a competition cause he could have won.

you can read his fic here (and i recommend that you do cause its some Grade A Mikey Angst) although if your someone who has a fear of someone leaving you because you cannot/will not give them sex i would suggest not

and so. that fic sat in my drive for several months. and then my short story writing teacher was like “you need to submit a 4th short story!!” and i was like “well shit the world is ending and im out of ideas!!” and then i remembered this beauty. in all its glory. half finished. actually less than half finished. it was a mess. a whole disaster. and i left my planning sheet at school, so…

but i hunkered down and i ground out some half decent garbage, complaining the entire time to mikey (thanks for listening to all that by the way) and finally, last night, at 1am, was the proud owner of this.

its not the best thing ive ever written. and its obscenely long. but it is finished. and actually edited. and also turned in to my short story writing teacher but were not going to talk about that. its also vaguely based off of several fall out boy songs. and this prompt. which has been sitting in my ask box for At Least a year. 

its essentially the epitome of This Great British Bakeoff Meme:

so. now that ive essentially written a fic about my fic, i give you This:

_____

Dusted

ship: ralbert

genre: angst no happy ending

warnings: violence, implied and referenced character death, alcohol, unknowingly being drugged, concussions, head injuries, weird hallucination type things, betrayal, loss of mother, anxiety, panic attacks, near death experiences, i think thats everything. also its based off of fall out boy songs. that should tell you everything you need to know.

words: 8108

editing: actually yes !!!

_____

due to the sheer Length i posted this only on ao3 to not clog up peoples dashes and theres a lot of italics and i didnt wanna do it all by hand cause tumblrs dumb okay. (also since its tagged as major character death it shows up with that Potential Adult Content thing. theres no sexy times i promise, ao3s just doin me dirty)

also yeah i made a new ao3 acc, expect more on there in the future

read the monstrosity here

_____

well this has been The Strangest fic posting of mine essentially Ever.

what did you think tho?

comments are always appreciated, hmm to be on the taglist!!!

tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan

@sun-kissed-star

@racetrackcook

@ughwaitwhat

@aw-jus-let-em-try​

@voice-foundshoe-lost​

@stopthe-presses

@ridin-in-style

@pinecovewoods​

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing​

@getchapapes

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@stellar-alpaca

@saxoph-ella

@smolcanadiankid​

@disney-princess-sized​

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog​

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@thatfancyclam

@myidkwhatmynameisblog

@legoflambwrites

@not-a-scab

@albertdasillvaprotectionsquad​

@entschuldigung-bitches

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@tea-and-theater

@seasickdolphin

@auspicioustarantula​

@newsies-of-ny

@mrs-higgins

@spot-me50-papes-deactivated2020

@papesdontsellthemselves

@deathcast-s

@the-poodles-of-pulitzer​

@hopefully-not-the-ghostbusters​

@humanracoon

@irondad-spiderson-duo​

@albert-eats-cookie-cake​

@nico-nat

@localfakeitalian

@carryyourownbanner

@writing-makes-me-antsy

@racetrackyeetgins

@panpervinca

[agent13thepretender]

Accidentally deleted my fanfic preview lol

I accidentally deleted my fan fic preview so here it is again. I am almost done with the story, however and will probably post in on AO3 and FanFiction.net. Please give me some feedback, especially with characterization. Obviously everyone has their own perception of different character and this is mine. Enjoy!

Fandom: MCU (Irondad and Spiderson)

Title: Home Videos

Summary: Peter has a dream where he’s in a movie theatre watching Uncle Ben’s home video of the day he was born. As he watches, a familiar voice announces himself and Peter Parker finds Tony Stark smiling in the seat next to him.

                                                             o0o

 Peter Parker found himself sitting in a soft, red plush chair, facing a black screen partially covered in red velvet curtains. He could see a few rows of matching red seats scaling down in front of him, all empty. Turning, Peter saw the seats rising behind him were also empty. The small projector window above glowing faintly. He sat back in his seat, brows furrowed. He was in an older movie theatre, completely empty, with non-reclining seats and yellowed lights. Peter could see patches of discoloration on the red fabric-covered walls and the chipping back paint of the handrails. 

    The lights began to dim into a soft glow as the curtains slowly pulled back. With a quiet click, the black screen illuminated into a stunning white that made Peter’s eyes squint to adjust to the sudden brightness. He was relieved when the screen became gray static and a gentle buzz filled the auditorium. A loud, dull click sounded and the screen became a scene of blurry green trees. The image was shaky and glitched slightly. There was a digital time tag at the bottom right corner that read:  August 10,  2001.

    “Is this thing on?” A soft but gruff voice mumbled close to the camera. Peter felt his heart twinge in his chest at the instantly familiar voice. The camera moved sharply and the screen was filled with a middle-aged man with brown hair and brown eyes behind red-rimmed glasses. Ben Parker was gazing at the camera with eyebrows creased closely together. 

“The red lights on, it’s recording.” Another man called off-camera. 

“Oh!” Ben said before grinning and making a few funny faces at the camera that made Peter smile. 

“Ben, you’re gonna break the lens with that mug of yours.” The other man sounded closer and Peter recognized it as well. The camera moved to confirm that it was his father, Richard Parker. He was standing with his hands on his hips, squinting in the late summer sun. He was smiling brightly as the breeze swept through his curly brown hair.

Peter heard Ben scoff behind the camera. “Your mug ain’t much better.” Ben shot back. The camera rotated and Ben’s face was captured in an unflattering angle. “Let’s hope my niece takes after Mary.” He loud whispered into the camera. 

The camera quickly readjusted back to Richard who gave Ben an unimpressed look. Ben snorted as he zoomed in to Richard’s face. Peter found himself chuckling with him.

“Are you done? Or do you want to wait another nine months to meet my kid?” Richard asked with fake annoyance. The camera was still zoomed in to his face and caught the small smile at the end. 

“Yeah, yeah, lemme just shut this off.” Ben’s voice trailed off. 

The clip soon cut off to the footage of Richard walking in a hospital hallway. “Nervous, Ricky?” Ben asked calmly.

Richard turned to the camera and smiled shyly. “Maybe.” He confessed.

“Why?” Ben’s voice was hushed but sincere.

Richard stopped and stood in front of his brother, disregarding the camera. “‘Cause it’s a kid! They’re super fragile, get sick a lot and about a billion things can go wrong.” Richard whispered. “I don’t have a degree for this.”

Ben hummed thoughtfully. “I hear girls are even more difficult. Good luck, Doc.”  Ben chuckled at the glare Richard was throwing at him.

“What’s all this about a girl?” A low voice announced. Peter’s head whipped to the seat next to him. The young boy’s heart clenched painfully in his chest, his throat closing tightly at the sight of the person seated next to him.

 All that could escape Peter was a pained gasp of surprise.“Mr. Stark?”

Tony Stark turned to look at the boy with a broad grin and a bucket of popcorn in his arms. His dark eyes shining behind a pair of old school red and blue 3-D glasses. “Hey, kid!” Tony greeted Peter, just as he always did. 

Peter’s eyes were wide with disbelief but they quickly turned red and glossy. The crushing waves of grief made Peter double over his seat, gasping fast and shaky breaths. Tony sprung forward in alarm and placed a familiar heavy hand on the boy’s back.

“Hey, hey! Its ok, kid!” Tony exclaimed, tossing the popcorn away. He got out of his seat and crouched down next to Peter while expertly rubbing circles on his back. “Shoot, maybe surprising you like that was a bad idea.” He mumbled.

Peter’s body was shaking with the sudden and intense emotion. He took shuddering breaths to try to calm himself down. He concentrated on how real and warm the hand on his back felt.

“It’s ok, Peter,” Tony said softly, a tinge of sadness washed over his voice. 

Peter gathered himself with deep breaths and turned to his former mentor, the hand never leaving his back. He still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Tony removed the 3-D glasses without turning away from the boy. His eyes were dark and warm just as Peter remembered them. 

He turned away to rub his face. “This is a dream, just another dream.” He mumbled to himself.

Tony quirked his head a bit. “Another dream?” 

Peter sighed. “Yeah, that’s all this is. I’m aware now so I’m probably going to wake up soon.” He said in distress. 

Tony shook his head. “This isn’t a dream, kid. At least not a normal one.” Peter looked at Tony skeptically and received a sympathetic expression in return. “I’m actually here.” 

“How!? How are you possibly here!” Peter cried. Tears finally fell down his face as he stared at the uninjured face of his dead mentor. “If this isn’t a dream, is this an illusion? A hologram? Beck’s dead so I don’t think that could be it.” 

“Pete,” Tony cut him off. “This is none of that stuff. To put it simply, I guess you could call this a Limbo of sorts.”

“Limbo?” Peter said, alarmed. “Am I dead?” 

Tony chuckled slightly as he shook his head, patting Peter on the shoulder. “No, you’re not, kid. Jeez.” 

Peter stared at Tony’s smiling face. There was some sadness in his eyes but no shadows or bags of exhaustion under them. His face was relaxed instead of the tension that was frequently lined on his brow. He looked younger, at peace. 

Sighing, Tony sat back in his seat. “We’re essentially in a pocket of reality where I, a ghost, can Jacob Marley one person,” Tony explained. “It’s like an I.O.U from the universe since I literally saved it.” 

Peter nodded his head, mulling it over in his brain. “You’re here ‘cause you used the Infinity Stones.” He concluded.

“Basically.” 

“You’re really here? With me? In my mind?” 

“Triple affirmative.”

“Why?” Peter asked softly, confused.

Tony shrugged casually, an amused smirk on his lips. “Because I wanted to see you.” 

“Are you going to see Pepper or Morgan?” 

Tony took a breath, his face was momentarily stricken at the mention of his wife and daughter. “No. I can only do this once.”

Peter’s eyebrows rose in alarm. “Shouldn’t you be doing this with Morgan? She’s your daughter, I’m sure she’d want to see you. To talk to you again.” Peter pleaded. “Or Pepper! She was the last person to talk to you. They miss you, they need you!”

“The one who needs me most right now is you, Peter,” Tony stated with conviction, his hand landing firmly on the young boy’s shoulder. “And you’re the one I wanted to see most, too.” 

The boy stared at him in confusion, his brown eyes still shiny from tears. “Me? But, but why I’m not…”

“Family?” Tony finished. Peter stared at the older man, his lips drawn tightly in a straight line as more tears spilled from his eyes. Tony stared back at the boy, sniffing slightly as his own emotions were bubbling forward. He knew this would be the last time he would ever talk to Peter like this. Every emotion and instinct he restrained when he was alive had been his greatest regrets. “Yes, you are, kid.” 

[aelaer]

Do you know any good fanfics that star Tony, Stephen and Peter? If you do can you please recommend them to me? Thanks!

I just ended up typing this on my phone's notes app. I still can't believe how primitive the tumblr app is. Thank goodness for copy/paste.

So I have a confession, nonny: I'm not terribly fond of the IronDad & SpiderSon relationship in fics largely because the majority of the stories just whump Peter and I'm not really fond of Peter whump. I think it might be his age, but I've also never been a fan of whumping the cinnamon roll character in any fandom I've been in.

And that's basically what a ton of the stories who star both Peter and Tony are. I'd actually like some recommendations of these two that have little to no Peter whump to better endear me to the genre. And how about a story where Peter has to save Tony instead? I'd love to see that. But yeah, too much Peter whump and where the hell are all the Stephen whumpers I'm going to cry.

Also, if the story is not IronStrange, Stephen tends to be poorly characterized (way too cold). Even if it IS IronStrange, Stephen still tends to be really poorly written in like 70% of them - OOC in several ways. A lot of authors who write him don't seem to get his nuances and he's mostly played for laughs or as a heavy hitter if anyone hurt Tony or Peter, and it's just too bland for me. That, along with my hyper-critical, uh, criticism of how minor characters are portrayed leave few recommendations from me in this particular genre of stories.

But I spent the last few days (thank goodness for the notes app) going through the tags to see what I could find/remember reading and there are a few that I enjoyed. I have quibbles of various sorts with all of them but I can set that aside for the most part and enjoy them for what they are.

Anyway, there's a wide way I can answer your question, nonny, as it's quite open to interpretation. If you're looking for the Supreme Family trope, I've found the tag and organized it by kudos. Most are ironstrange with this tag.

It's honestly not a trope that I prefer in my MCU fiction and I avoid most stories with it (as well as for other reasons), but here are two under that tag that I did enjoy:

Sunrise in Exile by Ragdoll

I've only read to 17 IIRC (it's a really really really long fic with mega chapters) but up to that chapter at least it's presented a very nuanced look at Tony that's very different and yet feels completely in character. Stephen and Peter are completely on point. The originality and world building thus far are magnificent. And as of Chapter 17 the other characters in the background seem to be written true to their characters, which is more important to me than any ship. When side characters are written poorly, it reflects on how the main characters are written and just throws me out of a story. Definitely my favorite fic that uses this tag that I could find in a quick search. Very strong writer, very original story.

Hold Me Still by lantia4ever

More Stephen and Tony with background Peter, but he's talked about a lot. And I'm a sucker for Stephen whump so that basically boosts this one lmao. It's a fun story with a premise I haven't seen before either, so kudos to the author for that bit of creativity.

From there, I looked at the Peter Parker & Stephen Strange tag for stories that also had Tony Stark and got this list, again organized by kudos.

The Courtship of Peter Parker's Father (Figures) by flyingonfeatherlesswings

Another IronStrange, but it's sweet and I do like this author. And Peter's not overly childish which is what kills Peter for me in a lot of fanfiction, as if these writers have never actually interacted with a teenage boy before. Which I appreciate. Yeah, I'm not the best person for your question... I'm quite critical of how Peter is written lmao. But yeah, this is a nice bit of fluff.

We're Not There Yet by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so

Stars Peter and Tony mostly, but Stephen is there and portrayed a bit differently than he usually is in these sort of fics. Gen too so something different. Good pacing, and a good original idea.

turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea

Again mostly a Peter and Tony story, but Peter's character is executed very well here and it's a great twist on the concept. Stephen is a bit cold for my tastes and it would be nice if he were more 3D but it's still a good story. I adore how Ross is made a villain in one instance because Ross is a flaming asshole and not enough people remember that.

Now if someone could take this concept in this story and do that to Stephen, I'd be really really appreciative. Not sure how'd it all work out but a spell to just increase the suffering of the repeated day is such a great bit of angst that I need in my life.

The End of Infinity by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls

Also stars Loki along with those three. Very very long, certainly original. Most people will like this story. I wish she'd gone drpepperony instead of Pepper with an OC (if Stephen had to be romanced - I'd have preferred he hadn't) but that's more personal preferences than anything. Doesn't change the fact that it's very original and certainly stars all three in various capacities. There's places I could critique it like any of these stories but for such a young writer she's done very well and improved immensely in her storytelling time in fandom in a short amount of time. I look forward into seeing where her writing journey takes her - I think she'll go far.

Dysfunctional: A Strange Encounter by ApolloLoki97

A true Avengers as Family rebuild after Civil War in the first two stories, and you meet Stephen in this one. Great characterization of everyone. Overall this is a fantastic series if you like Peter and the Avengers in general, but it's in this story that Stephen properly shows. Which is why it's my favorite.

Let’s Try This Again by peterparkr

I just discovered this one. A tragic comedy. A comedic tragedy. Basically Stephen and Peter fix the last fight in Endgame. It takes over 10,000 words of attempts to do so. Their sanity goes a bit. The story is unique and really a dark comedy at its core. Also happy ending.

To Lose, Nonetheless by VisionaryGalaxy

Ahhhhhh I'm a sucker for sacrificial!Stephen. Another IronStrange with a dose of whump for Peter and Stephen. (I really want her to continue her kidnapping fic but I also didn't want to actually spam her inbox like I threatened to so I just silently pine for it now. If someone here is good friends with her though I'd be obliged if you poke her on behalf of my pining. This is a bad fic review. Just go read it).

And this one was under neither tag but I remembered it existed.

Just Another Day in New York by dragonnan

Tony has more of a side role here. But what we have is lovely Peter and Stephen interaction. And a spoonful of Stephen whump just to sweeten it. So yeah of course I like it.

I don't know if this was what you were looking for, nonny, but I hope it's something.

Now if Stephen can become as popular as the other two after his movie comes out I'd be a very happy clam.

[fanficsaremylifeline]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ben Parker & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Dum-E, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Ben Parker, Dummy (Iron Man movies), Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Tony Stark Additional Tags: he likes to talk, who cares if nobody answers, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) References, whump warning: fire, ironfam, Irondad, IronDaughter, spiderson Series: Part 12 of Ironfam Summary:

Not everybody Peter enjoys talking to always answers. Doesn't mean that Peter can't talk to them though.

1

“Hi, Uncle Ben”, Peter smiled, somewhat awkwardly. “Happy birthday!” He toyed around with the card he held in his hand. “Unfortunately, they didn't have any 'For the awesome Uncle, who is practically your father' , so I went straight with 'For the world's best Dad'. I mean it's true on any level except genetically. Though I'm not sure how human my genes are any more, so I guess that's even true of my parents... Sorry, I'm digressing.”

Gently, he placed the card just by the bouquet of daisies, Uncle Ben's favourite flowers. They were somewhat wilted, but Aunt May was sure to come by later, and get him a fresh one for his birthday.

“Don't tell Aunt May that I skipped school, though”, he pleaded as he sat himself down, just by the head stone. “She'll ground me from Ned, or Spidermanning, or the Avengers and that's not cool... Oh yeah, that's right, I'm an official Avenger now!”, he beamed proudly, after having made sure that nobody was around to listen in on Peter talking to his Uncle's grave. “I know, it's so cool, right? And woah, you should have seen Aunt May, when she took on Tony Stark, and made very clear that every little thing that'll happen to me, she'll make sure he'll suffer too.” Peter couldn't help but giggle at Tony's grimace. A man who didn't seem to be afraid of anything was seriously scared of Aunt May. Not that Peter could blame him for that; he'd rather go up against the Vulture again, than Aunt May when she was angry with him.

“She's alright. I know I don't have to, because she's like the most badass woman out there, but I'm still looking out for her. And she is doing good.”

There was just this big, burning thing, looming in Peter's mind. “So, this might be a little awkward, but she's seeing someone again. He works for Tony, he's a really good guy, actually. And yeah, it's plenty weird. But Aunt May says, that he's not here to replace you, or anything like that, so I guess that's something...”

Fidgeting nervously with his fingers, Peter looked down on his hands. “I'm not gonna do that, I promise”, he vowed, “I'll never forget you, and I'll always love you and as good of a guy Happy is, you'll always be my Uncle, and you'll always have that place in my heart that nobody ever can have.”

At this point, Peter wasn't sure if he assured Uncle Ben or himself. Him it definitely helped; things were sort of out in the open. It'd be so much easier though, to hear some sort of answer, get some kind of reaction. But that wasn't gonna happen, was it?

2

“What? No!”, Peter groaned and dropped to the ground. “Why, WHY?”

At his outburst, Dum-E wheeled over, looking at Peter with a somewhat tilted head. Not that he really had one, but he definitely seemed to be curious what had Peter so frustrated.

“It's not working Dum-E. Nothing is! So, you see, that thing here is supposed to light up.” He pointed at the robot he built for the science fair.

It was slightly embarrassing, Peter had worked on far more advanced projects in here, mostly with Mr Stark, but also when by himself. “And I can't just ask Mr Stark, it's way to easy.”

Dum-E followed him around the table, curiously inspecting everything Peter explained to him. “So you see, with these cables connected, it should react to my commands! Ugh.” He rolled his eyes at his own idiocy and turned to Dum-E looking at him somewhat dubiously. Great, even the robot thought Peter was an idiot.

“Don't look at me like that”, Peter made clear, pointing at him.

The way Dum-E looked up at him, with his head somewhat tilted to one side, it reminded Peter of a puppy dog, realizing that something was wrong, but not really understanding what it was.

“I'm sorry”, Peter sighed and patted the little head, “I'm just stressed and annoyed and...” He just let out a deep sigh. But, all moping wouldn't help him, so he went back to disassembling the circuitry.

“I know you're not gonna answer”, Peter eventually remarked, “but I think I'm gonna keep on talking to you.”

The beep that came from Dum-E sounded to Peter like the robot consenting to be talked to.

“Great. Alright, so the idea is that the robot can walk and follow a few simple commands. It's not like I'm creating an AI here, so it shouldn't be too complicated. I know, I know”, he hurried to say, when he felt Dum-E looking at him all funnily. “I shouldn't give too much thought to the aesthetics, but it's a damn science fair, so I'll just have to bother with that, even if the rest suffers for it.”

“Beep.”

“Come on”, Peter rolled his eyes, “that was really uncalled for.”

“Beep, beep.”

“Wow, Dum-E, there is no need for name-calling”, Peter shot back, staring the robot down, who eventually dropped his head.

“Beep.”

“Yes, of course you're forgiven.”

“Beep. Beep, beep.”

“Omigod, yes, that's it!”, Peter cried out, leaned over to press a kiss on Dum-E's head, before turning back to his own robot, where – whether by himself or with help from Dum-E – Peter had finally found the mistake.. “Thanks so much, Dum-E, you're a genius!”

3

“You full?”, Peter asked, looking down on the six months old girl, who dejectedly threw the biscuit through the room. “I guess that's a yes”, Peter snorted and repositioned her on his lap.

“So, Morgan, as your honorary older brother, it's my duty to teach you the important things in life”, he explained. “And one of these things I need to introduce you to is Brooklyn Nine Nine.”

Peter didn't even have to ask FRI to play it, Netflix opened automatically on the big TV screen. He was on his umpteenth rewatch, currently somewhere in season 1 again.

“So, that's Jake”, he explained.

“Shdkpf.”

“Yeah, he's pretty smart”, Peter agreed with her. “That's Amy.”

“Giggidgsh.”

“Exactly!”, he grinned, “he's totally into her. But he plays over it, because, well, he's a little awkward.”

“Pfffrm.”

“I'm not awkward!”

“Gskgsk.”

“Oh, that is so unfair of you to bring up”, Peter complained. “And it's totally not the same! I kept on lying to MJ to keep her safe!”

“Mmmhpff.”

“I can't believe that you would say that to me, when we both know what your Dad did for you Mum.” He looked down on Morgan who beamed up with wide eyes. “He got her an oversized stuffed bunny. I got MJ a necklace.”

“Brrrrrrrrm.”

“Thank you, Morgan. But now let's get back here. See, that's Teddy.”

“Pshhhmmm.”

“Mo! I know he's not the greatest, but we don't say words like this! Anyways, he's also into Amy. And she's kinda into him. And Jake doesn't find that so great.”

“Gshkshsga.”

“No, it's nothing like me, MJ and Brad. I don't even know where you'd get that idea. Besides, Brad doesn't even matter any more. And Teddy won't matter for too long, either.”

“Gashmmmm”

“Sorry, spoiler alert”, Peter apologized and tapped his finger on her hand, prompting her to grab it, squeeze and pull on it. “Dude, we can be happy I got superpowers, otherwise that'd probably hurt. Like a lot. You're really fierce, hey?”

“Hmmmmpf.”

“Yeah”, he beamed, “exactly like your Mummy.”

+1

The first thing Peter realized, was something or someone holding onto his hand, and a soft voice talking to him.

“How often have I told you to call me when things go pear-shaped? I'm a genius and I can't even count how high.”

That sounded a lot like Mr Stark. Why was he holding Peter's hand, and why were his eyes so heavy?

“You really are an absolute pain in my ass, Parker”, Mr Stark continued. “I mean, I'm absolutely impressed by how smart you are, by your innate desire to help people, but do you have to be so damn self-sacrificial? Remember, I got a heart condition and that shit just ain't good for me!”

A calloused thumb gently stroked the back of his hand. “Fuck”, he mumbled, “I guess I should probably tell you how awesomely you did, how you saved all the people from that burning building, but did you have to breathe in that much smoke? You're lucky you got your spider-healing, things could have looked very differently.”

Slowly, things came back to him. KAREN directed him to some office building, where a fire had broke out, trapping a bunch of people on the top floors. Peter didn't even think twice before climbing up the wall to get everybody out.

“And by the way, I'm not the only one who thinks that”, Tony made clear. “Your lovely girlfriend said something along the lines of her going to kill you if you end up dead. And Aunt Hottie... Damnit, I really should stop calling her that, especially in front of you, it's just all shades of wrong... Well, she definitely agrees with Michelle, as does Morgan. In summary, you've got three of the fiercest women on this planet on your ass.”

“That being said, I am still so proud of you. And I really am one lucky son of a bitch to have such an exasperating, snarky, pain-in-the-ass Spiderling in my life. So please, to all that's holy and good in this world, please, just please...” A deep sigh followed, before Mr Stark continued to speak: “Kid, I love you. Which means I worry so damn much. And as good as I look with grey hair, there's no need for you to give me any more of those, you got that?”

“Yeah”, Peter mumbled and squeezed the hand that was holding onto his.

“Wha...” Mr Stark jumped, clearly having thought Peter was asleep. “And how long have you been awake, mister?”

“Long enough”, he sighed, feeling himself already drifting off again. “I love you, too, Mr Stark.”

[areiton]

practical gifts

Part 1 in a Irondad & Spiderson series! Enjoy!! 

Read on AO3 | Follow the series | Series Tag 

~*~ 

They buried her on a Wednesday, in the same graveyard where Ben was buried.

It was sunny, sunny enough that Peter wore sunglasses to hide behind.

It wasn't shocking. They'd known for almost six months that this day was coming. But it still hurt.

It still made him want to scream and run away, somewhere he could pretend this wasn't real.

Tony's hand on his shoulder was the only thing keeping him in place.

They buried her on a Wednesday and through all the crying the condolences offered and words (fucking meaningless words) said, all Peter could think was, I'm all alone now.

 ~*~

 After the wake--a special, unending kind of hell--Tony steers him back to the waiting cars. Happy isn't driving. He took May's death hard, the unacknowledged romance between them snuffed out the first time she winced and stumbled over flat ground.

They were superheros, unwound the worst disaster the universe had ever seen--but they couldn't fix this. Not even Loki and all his many magics and tricks could fix May.

Peter thinks that is a special kind of hell, and he deserves it.

He deserves it.

If he didn't, why the hell would this keep happening?

 ~*~

 He read. Not at first, but when he had cycled through denial and anger and bargaining a few times, when May was down to ninety-five pounds and slept twenty hours a day--he read. He was sixteen now, almost seventeen--emancipation wouldn't be hard. And he had money. Not much, but enough. He could get by.

He turns it over and over in his head, during the too long wake and on the drive back to the brownstone. Mr. Stark is silent, the way he rarely is.

He isn't sure what will happen with Mr. Stark. He lives upstate, now, alone. He doesn't talk about why, after they undid everything Thanos did, he was alone. Why Pepper lived in the massive brownstone on Fifth Ave and he lived in the woods in the middle of nowhere. And it was fine. He spent three weekends a month there, and after May got sick, they practically moved in. He cared, even if he was hiding from the rest of the world.

It’d change now.

Now that May was gone and Peter was on his own. It would change, like everything else.

He closes his eyes and tries not to think about it.

 ~*~

 “Ms Potts?”

Pepper is in the kitchen. He isn’t a hundred percent sure why she’s letting him and Tony stay in the brownstone--it seems strange, given they aren’t together but it means he doesn’t have to go back to his and May’s empty, quiet apartment tonight, so he isn’t looking too close at it.

“I thought you went to bed, sweetheart,” she says and he shrugs. Shakes his head.

“I...um. I had a question?”

Her head tilts, and she leans back against the counter, her attention trained on him and he feels a frission of nerves. “I was wondering--could I talk to one of the SI lawyers?”

Her eyes widen and he almost backtracks. Almost bolts. But this is too important.

He can take care of himself. He knows he can. He’s done his research and he’s looked at the money and it’s doable. But he can’t handle the expense of a lawyer. “I just--I hate asking? But I need a lawyer to file my emancipation papers. And I can’t--I was wondering if you had any who do pro bono work? Or--” his heart is pounding, too hard, and he feels tears burning in his eyes.

He wants to run.

He wants May.

“I can--I can pay, I just--”

“Peter, stop,” she says, sharply, and he does, so abruptly it feels like slamming into a wall. She doesn’t look angry, though. Her eyes are bright and worried, but there’s no anger there. Just bright clear worry and that familiar sympathetic pity he’s too used to.

This is the fourth parent he’s lost. It’s not like this is new to him.

“If you want to talk to a lawyer, of course, you can. If I’m not mistaken, Tony has assigned a team to be your legal counsel. I’ll make sure FRIDAY sends that info to you by morning. But--sweetheart,” she takes a tentative step forward. There’s something lurking in her eyes that he isn’t used to, and it makes his heartbeat speed up.

He stumbles back a step and it makes her freeze, grief spasming across her face, before it goes carefully blank. “I think, Peter, you need to talk to Tony.”

 ~*~

 He sits in his bedroom. It’s not his but he’s been in the same guest bedroom for almost two weeks, so it kinda feels like it might be.

The information Pepper promised is on his Starkpad and in true Mr. Stark form, there isn’t a single lawyer--it’s a team of ten.

It’s ridiculous. What the hell does he need with ten lawyers.

That’s the thing about Mr. Stark though--he likes giving things, and he doesn’t always think about the practicality of it. May was good at practical. She laughed herself sick when Mr. Stark tried to give him a Porsche for his birthday--what the hell is he going to do with a Porsche, Tony?--and carefully redirected him, to a laptop that was still ridiculous and a trip to California that was insane but it was a little more manageable than a car.

A tap on the door comes just a second before Mr. Stark opens it and slips into his room. The curtains are still pulled, but he can see Mr. Stark in the glow of his tablet, and the light glow of the housing unit on his chest.

He looks worried, and maybe, just a little angry. “Sleep ok?” he asks, and Peter shrugs. He hasn’t slept ok since before May died. They both know it.

“What’s wrong?” Peter asks, and Tony’s lips twist a little. Bitter and self-mocking.

He could write a book on the many expressions on Mr. Stark’s face.

“You aren’t supposed to be worrying about me, you know, kiddo.”

Peter shrugs. It’s easier to think about Mr. Stark than everything he’s lost, and everything looming in front of him. He bites back that confession and waits, patiently.

“Pep told me about your request. You got your lawyer’s info?” Mr. Stark pauses, and Peter nods, obediently. “Good. Good.”

“That’s why you’re upset,” Peter says, softly, and that doesn’t make sense.

Mr. Stark is generous to a fault--he wouldn’t begrudge Peter a few hours of free legal advice, certainly not when he’s given him ten freaking lawyers.

“Why do you want to be emancipated?” Mr. Stark bursts out, and oh.

Oh.

“I don’t,” Peter says, quietly, picking at his blankets. “But--there’s not a lot of options? It’d be better than going into the foster system.”

“The fos--Pete, what the hell?” Mr. Stark demands.

Peter blinks at him and Mr. Stark shoves a hand through his hair, agitated. “I know I’m a mess, but I thought I’d be a step above working at Delmar’s to make the rent.”

“Y--you?” Peter whispers.

Mr. Stark stares at him, and there’s--god there’s so much there.

Sadness and guilt and relief and maybe a little bit of hope and so much love it takes Peter’s breath away. “Yeah, kid. Me. You didn’t really think I’d kick you out on your ass, did you?”

He doesn’t answer. Doesn’t know how to answer. Because--no, of course he didn’t. But this isn’t weekend mentoring and over the top presents and midnight phone calls when Peter has nightmares. This is--”Why?” Peter croaks out, and he’s crying again, he can hear it, feel them sliding down his cheeks, hot and salty on his lips and he’s so fucking tired of crying. “It’s--it’s too much, Mr. Stark!”

“Kid,” Mr. Stark says, helpless, and he shifts, sitting on the bed next to Peter, tugs him impatiently until Peter uncurls with a soft noise and collapses in Mr. Stark’s arms.

“Kid, I rewrote the universe to bring you back. Do you really think there’s ever going to be too much?”

Peter sobs, and clings to him, and the tension pushing his grief down--it dissolves, sugar under hot water, sand under the tide, as Mr Stark murmurs, “You aren’t alone, Pete. I promise.”

[kitcat992]

Endgame thoughts and emotions: A proper review

Yeah, I did the unthinkable today. I saw the movie for a second time. And in my defense, I did not want to. I laid in bed as my friend literally tried to pull me out of my blanket burrito and drag me to the movie theater. The issue is, he bought me a ticket and really wanted me to go with him for his first time showing. After much commotion, I dragged myself into a theater seat, pouted, and watched it for a second time.

I decided to try and find a silver lining in my misery: Now I can view the movie with a much clearer mindset, without the fog of fan excitement and the years worth of anticipation. Plus, it was a matinee showing, so I was sure the crowd would be a lot less rowdy and I would be able to really immerse myself in what was happening. And most of all, if I was going to bitch this much about the movie, I decided it was only fair I really give it a good watch.

So here I go: Thoughts and emotions the second time around.

Too long; didn’t read: It’s still shit.

Tony’s opening scene in the Benatar remains to be the best part of the film, along with his confrontation with the team, specifically Rogers. These moments are why the film started off so strong – we were receiving exactly what we waited for since Civil War. I repeat, we waited 3 years for Civil War to finally pay off. But it’s really pathetic that the only good parts of this film are the beginning, right before the 5 years later cue card.

Despite the amazing pay off from the fallout in Civil War and the incredible acting from RDJ during that confrontation scene, the pacing of the beginning STILL felt all sorts of weird. For starters, did Marvel just assume that every single movie-goer would watch Captain Marvel/Captain Marvel’s end credits scene?

Without that scene, without the whole “We found Fury’s beeper.” and “Where’s Fury?”, Captain Marvel’s entrance makes ZERO sense. And ya know what? Even after seeing the movie [Captain Marvel] it STILL makes zero sense. This is one of the many moments in the film that we’re left to assume. We’re left to assume that the team told Carol about Tony having flown to space to stop the doughnut ship, and we’re left to assume that she went and spent 3 weeks looking for him.

I was flooded with questions before the title card even rolled: When did they find Fury’s pager? And how did they find Fury’s pager? Were they just walking the streets and came across it, or did it have a GPS of sorts on it, or did it have an alert set to notify the compound in case of emergency? Did they tell Carol to go search for Tony or did Carol come across Tony on her own accord? How did they know Tony fought Thanos?? Tony even asks “Who told you that?” Well, who told him that? Did they receive the messages from his Iron Man helmet from when he was onboard the Benatar?

And let’s talk about Irondad&Spiderson moment that wrecked me – “I lost the kid.” Don’t get me wrong, this had me peeing my pants a little bit. But HOW did Steve know about “the kid”? His face says he knows, the way he reacted says he knows. Does he just know Spider-man is a kid, and he knew Spider-man went to space with Tony Stark, thus that’s the kid Tony refers to? Or did Steve also know about Peter before Civil War? Perhaps he was someone they both were planning to recruit, but Tony got to him first. How does he know about “the kid?”

That’s a lot of questions for the first, what, 10 minutes?

Immediately feeling the pacing so off balance in the movie this soon was incredibly troublesome. It only gets worse once they go off to kill Thanos. Because the moment Thor walks out of that hut, the movie takes a nose dive it never stood a chance to recover from.

5 years later.

Fuck that noise.

Okay, so the “5 years later” part didn’t bother me during my first watch. Because I so strongly (and naively) thought time-reversal was the end fate for this film. It was the only goddamn thing that made sense. But, to say the least, nothing following this cue card makes sense.

For starters, there’s just NO information given to the viewers about what happens from the fallout of The Decimation. So once again, we’re left to assume. Did the Avengers hold a press conference? Does the world now know about other universes and infinity stones and magic? Was Carol Danvers the one to explain that? Or Tony? Was the world angry with the Avengers for not stopping Thanos? Does the world even KNOW about Thanos? Does the world know what we the audience know or did the government sell them a lie? How about the Accords – did that dust away too, because we see Natasha handling business with the help of Nebula, Rocket, Rhodey and Carol.

But there’s not even a HINT of what civilians think or what they were told. We’re left to assume.

It turns out Steve’s little support-group-talk about “Some of us moving on” was actually a way for The Russo Brothers to completely erase his character development of the past handful of movies. Here we naively thought he was talking about moving on from the loss of Bucky and Sam and the other half of the universe…nope. All a ploy to remind the audience that despite the fact Steve Rogers said goodbye to Peggy Carter, buried her body, and began to live his own life in this new time and world, he still hadn’t moved on from the woman he loved for 21 months. Not only is this a giant slap in the face to Steve’s narrative, but he’s turned into a hypocrite by preaching “move on” without actually moving on himself. “Some of us move on��but not us.” is NOT a way to justify his actions at the end of this film.

I’ll say it now and here: I’m positively sick of Hollywood preaching that happy endings only come in the form of romantic relationships.

Natasha’s little spiel about family was sweet. I knew she was dead the moment she said it. My first viewing, I was okay with this. I actually felt a little touched, knowing that she got redemption from her red ledger by making the sacrifice for the family that she found. Upon my second viewing, I actually got pissed. Very pissed. Ya know why? Because Clint deserved to make that sacrifice. Nay, he needed to be the one to make it. But I’ll get there.

Paul Rudd’s acting for his reunion with Cassie was actually really touching. In fact, Scott Lang probably suffered the least amount of character-development-fuckery in this entire film. It probably helps that he was stuck in the quantum realm for 5 years instead of living with the others. I guest we’re just supposed to assume these characters changed over the course of 5 years, because they sure as hell aren’t acting like themselves.

*sigh* Tony…*bigger sigh* Morgan Stark. I know I’ve said it once before, if not multiple times already. I’m sorry for being a broken record. But Tony did not need to have a kid. She only served purpose to the narrative if time had been reversed. Perhaps Tony procreated with Pepper after Infinity War because he felt he needed to contribute to society and help get the universe back to how it was. Okay, I can flow with that. Even his insistence later on that they bring the dusted back but “keep everything from the past 5 years, at all cost” would play majestically into the ultimate sacrifice of losing his daughter for the other half of the universe to return. Watching these scenes [with his daughter] the first time around wasn’t as painful when I so naively thought time reversal would occur. My unbelievably intense opinion that Tony and Pepper did not need a kid keeps me from even remotely enjoying them now. Another thing Hollywood so wrongly assumes and pushes on audiences: If you’re a couple, you have to have a kid. Tony and Pepper were just fine without one and bringing a child into their story only prevented Tony from reversing time.

Also, the little girl who played Morgan was horribly directed. I know she was young, and I know kid actors aren’t great to begin with. But she mumbled all her lines and never looked anywhere but the ground. I will give credit to RDJ for playing the fantastic Irondad we all knew at heart he was, and I’ll treasure those moments with Peter in mind instead of Morgan.

But again, more questions arise from here. Steve, Natasha and Scott come to talk Tony into doing a time heist. The way Tony looks at them all…I can only assume he hasn’t spoken to them in years. But when? When did they all fall apart? Was it directly after he slammed his arc reactor/nano housing unit into Steve’s hand and passed out? Was it after the team told him, off camera, that Thanos was dead and the stones were gone? Have they kept in touch at all?

For the most part, Tony seems civil to them – “Table is set for 6, if you don’t talk shop you can stay for lunch.” and even pours them all drinks. But so much was left unsaid/off screen that I have no idea what’s gone on between these characters in the past 5 years. A cue card doesn’t tell me narrative. At this point in the film, I’ve already got a headache. I’m asking too many questions and getting so little answers.

I cannot even begin to express my utter disappointment in how they handled Professor Hulk. Even during my first viewing of this film, I had face palmed at this diner scene. Mark Ruffalo had a very well-thought out mini story in every Avengers film and even during Thor: Ragnarok. His struggle to control the Hulk, and Hulk’s distaste for Banner, all led up to Professor Hulk. How Banner described him is exactly how he was supposed to be – brains and brawns, the best of both worlds.

He was instead used for jokes. And lets be honest, he just looked weird. He acted weird, he looked weird, and every time he had a moment on screen I was just uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. I loved Ruffalo’s performance of Bruce Banner and all that just went away with this film. I don’t even like to think of Bruce Banner in this movie. Science Bros went away, his dynamic with the team went away, so much went away.

It felt like watching an alternate universe Avengers at this point, it really did.

Tony’s desire to get Peter back saved the universe: That is fact, that is canon. He was adamantly against time travel until he saw that photo and then BAM, he figures it out. I will take joy in this moment, despite wanting it to be something else. I really wanted this to be a grieving moment, I really wanted him to be at May’s place (who be are left to assume got dusted) or at a makeshift funeral/memorial or something. I’m happy to have gotten this scene, I really am. But I also feel empty from it. Perhaps that’s because so much is left unsaid that we’re left to assume the nature of Peter and Tony’s relationship since Homecoming.

So again, I get my hopes up for this time reversal that never pans out. Tony  has a conversation with Pepper about how he figured out the time travel nonsense, but he could put a pin in it immediately and forget all about it. Pepper, softly and a little heart broken, said he wouldn’t be able to rest if he did. In my honest opinion, that was Pepper telling Tony “I don’t want to lose what we have…but so many others lost so much more. We can try this again. We can have a second chance.” That, to me, was Pepper accepting the possibility of time being reversed to 2018 and losing Morgan and their cabin and all they had done in the past 5 years. In that moment, she accepted that. She gave him her blessing.

This made sense to me, this made sense to the narrative. Because this would leave Tony with a heart breaking choice of choosing the universe over his daughter. But he would, because that would be his ultimate sacrifice. One last sacrifice, to quote his movie poster. He’d be absolutely heart broken but he would know that his loss was nothing compared to all those who were dusted, all those who lost their lives by the dusted (falling air crafts, ect) and all those who took their lives due to the grief. He’d make that decision. And we’d go back to 2018 where time would be restored to how it was. If the writers really wanted to keep the Morgan nonsense, they could have even give him a happy ending by Pepper announcing she’s pregnant in 2018, showing that he’ll still have Morgan and his happy life.

Ultimately, this is not what pans out. Things only get worse from here.

Tony returns to the team, who failed at managing time travel with Scott due to lacking a time-travel-GPS. I’m not even touching that scene, it’s just sorta pointless and there were pee jokes and…yeah. Tony invents this time gps and agrees to help them, so long as nothing changes from the past 5 years. He gifts Steve a new shield, admitting that resentment is corrosive.

So…I’m left to assume he and the team really did split ways after his return from space. I mean, it’s a sweet moment….but I’m also left to assume what the shield is made out of. Is it Vibranium? Does that mean Thanos’ sword can cut through Vibranium, as it goes on to cut through his shield during the final battle?

A throw away line here was vital and never received. Steve’s shield was widely known for being made from the strongest metal in the world, and if you’re going to recreate it, you need to establish if it’s made of the same material. A simple “You better not toss that around like a Frisbee all the damn time, it’s not made of the worlds strongest metal, ya know.” or “It cost me an arm and leg to get some of that glorious Vibranium from Wakanda. Be careful with that thing.” And all you’d have to do to make time for this one throw away line would be cut one of the many unnecessary childish jokes in the movie, or reduce the “Nah, take a picture with him, ‘cmon!” scene from like, a solid minute to 30 seconds.

Its small things like this sprinkled throughout the entire film that goes to shine a light on how awful the script really was.

They decide to get the team back together, which includes Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula. And Thor.

Pour one out for Thor. He ain’t dead, but his character development sure as hell is.

My anger with Marvel, the MCU, Kevin Feige and The Russo Brothers stands to be for so many reasons, but this one might just take the cake. Once all of my anger dissipates from bad writing, the destruction of character development, the immature jokes – this will be the one thing that remains. I will never forgive any of the parties involved for turning Thor’s clear-as-day PTSD into a fat joke. Thor became a depressed, traumatized alcoholic.That is NOT something to make light of, and yet at every corner there was a joke for him.

His one serious moment – when Professor Hulk mentioned Thanos’ name and he was so clearly triggered into a state of emotional distress – was laughed off by Rocket telling him they had beer on the ship. So not only was his depression laughed at with the fat jokes, but his alcoholism was turned into jokes as well. As someone who grew up with an abusive alcoholic father, I cannot condone this type of humor, especially for young children. There are some things you just do not make fun of.

I wrongly trusted Marvel to be able to handle mental health issues with grace and dignity, as seen in Iron Man 3. They did more than drop the ball on this. They played skee ball with it.

Oh, and Hawkeye is now Ronin (was his name actually said, though? I guess we’re left to assume again) and he’s been murdering a shitton of people. Natasha finds him, says a sad line about “not being able to give hope sooner” and recruits him. So that’s cool, I guess. Problem is no one cared about his family to begin with and they still sorta don’t. But, yeah…everyone bring the murderer onboard. Cool. It’s sorta telling the audience (which includes kids) that its okay to murder as long as you actively kill bad guys, but yeah, whatever.

Now, things have been bad up to this point. Very bad. But it just gets so much uglier from here. The team discuss Time Travel and try to tell the audience how it REALLY works in their universe – by dismissing the notion of “you mess with the past, you mess with your future” theory all movies tend to have. This is essentially the butterfly effect and its really the only way to go about time travel.

But they couldn’t do that, because then we couldn’t have the time travel shenanigans that follow. And honestly, I’ve seen a LOT of things with time travel, and their explanation still doesn’t make sense. “You can’t change the past, only your present, which then becomes your past.” Whatever, Russo Brothers. You’re just trying to pass off a shitty time travel plot without actually caring about it.

Clint does a trial run of time travel, it works, and then they go about figuring out where the stones were so they can travel back to get them. None of this was entertaining. Rocket calling Scott a puppy fell flat, for starters. Thor having an obviously distressful triggered moment recalling his mother and Jane was painful to watch and equally painfully to hear the audience howl in laughter from it. It was nice to see a 15 second shot of Tony, Natasha and Bruce laying against each other, surrounded by books as they try to figure things out but these type of brief, fleeting moments were why I was so found-family-trope baited in the first place. 4 movies too late, MCU.

Also, Nebula tells them clear as day that Vomir is a place of death and Thanos went and came back without his sister, to which Scott jokes “Not it.” So SERIOUSLY, Nat and Clint knew something was up before they even went. Dick move to whoever sent them there.

Time travel shenanigans from here. They split into teams and go to their past locations where everyone fucks up everything in every timeline, but there are no consequences because the narrative established “you can’t change the past”

Listen, I do not even WANT to try and understand this. I don’t. It’s why I don’t mess with TheFlashTV anymore. Professor Hulk goes to get the time stone but The Ancient One won’t give it to him and they have this long drawn out discussion about how if the team doesn’t return the stones, her new timeline/reality is doomed. So Bruce’s astral form promises to bring them back and he tells her Strange gave it up willing and she gives it to him and…*sigh* Again, the Russo Brothers using cheap lines to try and explain their shitty use of time travel. This scene exists solely for Steve Rogers. It gives him his reason to travel to the past at the end and return all the stones to their rightful place (and, as it will later be discussed, say Fuck You to everyone in the year 2023.) That’s all this scene is here for.

Loki got away with the space stone/tessract, Thor gets to talk with his mother while Rocket grabs the reality stone, Nebula somehow connected with past Nebula’s harddrive and Thanos got to see her memories and Clint and Natasha did a little remake of the Thanos and Garmora sacrifice from Infinity War. To make matters even WORSE, because Loki got away with the space stone, Steve and Tony have to travel to 1970, to the SHIELD bunker seen in The Winter Soldier and where the space stone/tessract is being kept, as well as grab some additional Pym Particles on the way since they didn’t have enough for the additional jump.

This entire scene is garbage. Tony runs into a young Howard Stark. And I guess because Tony’s a dad now, he goes on to forgive his own dad for abusing him. As a child of abuse, fuck that noise. Howard is made out to be a man with good intentions and Tony even hugs him before he travels back.

It’s like the Russo Brothers wanted to write Tony having everything he ever wanted (a family, a kid, closure with his father) before they killed him off. This scene served nothing to the movie, nothing to Tony’s narrative and really sent a harsh message to victims of parental abuse. The mix messages with Howard along the way of the MCU films are so flawed I cannot even begin to describe them here.

Oh, and Steve runs into Peggy’s office where he stares at her from afar. This is the Russo Brothers once again shoving down the agenda that Steve Rogers needs to be with Peggy Carter if he’s to be happy. Despite having said his goodbye and having buried her body, he’s still hung up on the woman he knew for 21 months over 16someyears ago since coming out of the ice. So we get that.

Rhodey and Nebula grab the power stone. Rhodey spends like, 1 minute talking about the temple being boobytrapped only for them to walk into it fine. Not sure what that dialogue was there for. Nebula burns her hand off getting the power stone, they go to travel back but 2014 Thanos links with 2023 Nebula’s mind harddrive and accesses her memories and discovers the future and…yeah, I’m just not even in the mood to explain this. Nebula was kept around as a plot device. It’s a real shame to see her character reduced to that. Also, jumping way ahead here — someone seriously needs to explain to me how she still exists after killing her past self. I need that explanation like whoa.

Thor’s conversation with his mother about “being who he’s meant to be, not who he’s supposed to be” would have been more touching if the fat jokes weren’t tossed in every other line. He legit had a panic attack, even SAYS “I think I’m having a panic attack.” and how do the writers go about this serious mental health issue? By having Rocket slap him.

I was sitting near a middle-aged man who howled SO loudly with laughter at this, it reminded me of how people laughed at the 3 stooges. Way to go with that one, Marvel.

I think that about sums up the time travel shenanigans. While it was fun to watch the 2012 Battle of New York from a different perspective, everything just got so royally fucked up that my headache was turning into a migraine at this point in the film. But again, it doesn’t matter. Time travel in this movie is explained as “You can’t mess things up. You can’t change the past.”

But wait. The best is yet to come. Our first death of the movie. It’s bad enough that Natasha died instead of Clint, but to have her death be such a blatant rip off of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War is a real slap in the face.  All the way down to the usage of the same score music. Why? That only made the scene less emotional and moreso, took away from the impact of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War. The entire time, I felt like I was watching a fanfic with that scene. Among many others.

Clint deserved/needed to die instead. I get that they “battled it out” to be the one to jump, and he wanted to be the one to die – I get it. But that’s just…sorta not good enough. Because the writers wrote all that in when it didn’t need to happen. For starters, the entire fight over who jumped was drawn out and quiet frankly, hilarious. Sure, it showed a bit of their personalities and what friendship they had, but it ended up laughable. Maybe that’s because everything leading up to this felt like such a joke as well that I couldn’t take any of it seriously.

Regardless, while I’m not nearly as angry at Natasha’s death as I am Tony’s, I still strongly believe Clint should have been the one. Otherwise, the message I walked away with is: It’s okay to go on a murdering spree when you’re feeling hurt and bummed out, as long as you say sorry for it and try to take the spot of sacrificing your life. 

I would say that Marvel didn’t want to kill off a “family man” with Clint, as he had his family and kids, but Tony had that at this point as well. I feel they killed Natasha off because they didn’t know what else to do with her, as so clearly evident in her other films. She had no direction with these movies, no real character arc to go off of, and even with her solo movie in the works (an obvious prequel) she was sort of an empty slate waiting for her story to be told. Marvel never used her properly, never really took advantage of her, and at one point even gave her a relationship that did NOT need to be [Brutasha] because they were so clueless as to what to do with the only female Avenger. (Which means she HAS to have a love interest, right? RIGHT? God, Hollywood sucks with females)

They return to 2023 with all their stones and without Natasha. There’s a 1 minute grieving scene where Professor Hulk throws a bench in the lake and Steve blinks a tear and that’s…it. I mean, christ, don’t dedicate another second  longer to the poor woman, we couldn’t have that. Gotta make room for all those fat jokes. /s

They put the stones into Tony’s nano gauntlet and fight over who should put the gauntlet on – Professor Hulk wins. He says some shit that’s pulled straight out of his ass about gamma and how much gamma is surrounding the glove and that only he can handle it because Hulk is gamma. “It’s like I was made for this.”

Okay, whatever. Seriously, all this is so out of nowhere that I can’t muster the strength to care. A universe that always relied on collective narrative and plots weaved throughout movies is just pulling shit straight out of their asses at this point and I’m supposed to eat it. Please just snap your fingers and reverse time to 2018, Professor Hulk. That’s all I’m waiting for.

Tony once again says DO NOT lose the past 5 years and I guess the stones work off of what you’re thinking (ie: why they won’t let Thor do it, he’s too much of a mental mess) so Bruce…thinks about the dusted and snaps and…yeah. The dusted are back. A bit anticlimactic.

This also raises SO many questions about so many other things…what about those that got dusted in crashing airplanes? Are they just falling from the sky now?  People who were in boats that are no longer there, or in trains, or cars? What if they were dusted where a wall is now built? Are they morphed into the wall? Not to mention, bringing the dusted back in the year 2023, 5 years from when they were dusted…the legal problems that will occur. What if you had an apartment and someone is living there now? Where’s your stuff? What if your spouse married another person? Not to mention, what if your loved ones who survived The Decimation committed suicide in grief?

What about all that life insurance that was dished out?

None of this is explained. I doubt any of it ever will be. As the audience, I am once again left to assume.

So anyway, cue final battle scene. Thanks to time travel fuckery, 2014 Thanos is in 2023 and he bombs the shit out of the compound and it’s all CGI action from this point forward.

I mean, the fight was pretty cool. It was just…it was a lot of CGI, and to be honest, it was dark. Like, hard to see kind of dark. I get the tone and atmosphere they were going for, but one of the reasons I loved the Wakanda battle scene in Infinity War so much is because it was during the daylight. Even the battle of Titan was bright. Again, I get the tone they were going for, but I had a lot of trouble seeing what was going on, and it was a lot at once.

The OG 3 fight Thanos alone at first, which was cool. They all get their asses handed to them and Steve’s the one left to try and finish him off, solo, when Doctor Strange opens portals around the universe and brings all the dusted and army’s to the fight. I’d like to say I felt the same excitement watching this the second time around as I did the first, but I just…didn’t. Knowing the ending of this movie robbed a lot of initial joyful moments and if you ask me, a movie shouldn’t do that.

Also, yes, the fanservice moments exist. Steve lifts Mjolnir and says Avengers Assemble. I’m sorry, that’s not enough for me to forgive the mess of this movie.

A few pairs have their reunion scattered along the battlefield. I absolutely adored Peter and Tony’s, though I remained vastly uncomfortable that Peter was suddenly 5 years in the future and even addresses it as much. “And then Doctor Strange said you gotta hurry, it’s been 5 years!” Like…again, if this was reversed, that’s fine. But friggin hell. At this moment he doesn’t even remember turning to dust and how much pain he was in. Simply “Remember when I got all dusty? I must have passed out.” They hug though, so at the end of this shitshow at least the Irondad&Spiderson fanbase got their hug.

Rocket and Groot exchange a look and say nothing.

Fucking Steve and Bucky don’t even talk or see each other in battle. Probably because the Russo Brothers reallllyyy wanted to push that Steve/Peggy agenda and not remind anyone of Stucky. I look back on my complaints about the Irondad&Spiderson in this movie and take my grateful’s that we got the hug, because the poor Stucky fanbase got friggin robbed.

So again, big giant CGI battle fest. At one point they’re playing Hot Potato with the gauntlet trying to keep it away from Thanos and get it to Scotts van. I will admit, seeing Peter get like, 11 moms all at once was badass. Though it broke my heart to see him curled up in a tight ball holding the gauntlet like that…boy gunna have some real PTSD that Far From Home will likely brush off with more jokes disregarding and disrespecting the seriousness behind mental health and trauma.

I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I repeat: I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I know this moment had a LOT of characters to balance, but christ. If the writers can’t handle multiple characters with grace, they shouldn’t be handling multiple characters to begin with. Most were in this battle scene for the sake of showing their face. I mean, did Mantis even fight? So much was going on I couldn’t see past the center focus.

And I know a LOT of people complained that they didn’t want Captain Marvel to be the one that saves the day, but honestly, she would have been the better fit.

Tony making the final snap was done for shock factor. I stand by it. The narrative called for Steve Rogers to lay down his life in a blaze of glory, and because people predicted that – which is NOT a bad thing! It just means you’re telling your story well! – they took a hard left. Steve Rogers was a man out of his time, and his narrative told us time and time again he struggled with his life without a war. He needed the fight, that was his purpose. And his purpose should have ended with that final snap.

Instead, because movies want to be edgy and unpredictable, they ruined the narrative of Tony Stark and the final snap kills him. It’s horrific to watch. His last audible words are “I am Iron Man” and his last mumbled words are “Hey, babe” to Pepper. He gurgles blood out of his mouth, his brain is melting from the sheer power of the stones, Peter legit just sobs over him and he dies after Pepper feeds him some poetic, flowery shit about “You can rest now.”

This would be an immensely touching moment if it weren’t telling the audience that death is rest and the only way Tony could rest is if he died. First and foremost, I’m sorry, I do not consider death to be rest. Death is the end of existence. And Tony Stark had plenty of opportunities to rest without death. But the Russo Brothers decided 5 years of happiness was enough for him (when honestly, was it truly happiness? We all know he was harboring guilt from the Decimation and still mourning Peter) so they gave him those 5 years and then killed him off.

Between Thor, Natasha, and Tony, the MCU has taken society’s fight against the stigma on mental health back like, 25 years. Their answer to those who have mental trauma is to make fat jokes or kill them because that’s the only way they’ll be at peace. I guess this means Spidey is next, because there’s no way a 17 year old teenager is walking way from that without some serious PTSD.

Just by watching it I have PTSD.

I’m just not even touching this one in full extent. I’m sure other people will say it better than me and already have. All I will say is this: The past 11 years of film and subsequently the collective narrative told over the course of 22 films created a purpose for each of these two characters — Tony Stark struggled to move on from the fight, to truly let go of being Iron Man and retire. Steve Rogers struggled with his place in the world, moving on from Peggy Carter and finding purpose in fighting the battles that needed won.

Tony Stark deserved an ending of retirement, or even semi-retirement, perhaps taking on an advisory role at Shield. It would show the audience that sometimes you shouldn’t fight what feels natural within yourself, and Tony had a natural urge to be involved in this superhero life. He still could be, from afar, like a new Nick Fury.

And Steve Rogers, a man out of his time, deserved to win that battle in the blaze of glory, laying down his life for the other half of the universe. I really can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel cheated for not seeing his death.

The Russo Brothers got this wrong. And shame one everyone who supported them along the way. These character’s had arcs established for many films prior to this and with a “5 Years Later” cue card all that just goes out the window.

Tony’s funeral exists solely for the purpose of doing a slow pan shot of a ton of faces standing around somberly. As an Irondad&Spiderson fan, it hurt to see Peter directly behind Pepper, Rhodey, Steve and Happy. May looked to be the same age/not aged up so I have to assume she got dusted as well. And since I’m being honest here: I know a lot of people fawn over Harley and Tony, but him being there made little to no sense to me. Plus, 95% of the audience didn’t even know who he was.

But again, this scene exists solely so we can show a bunch of big name faces at once, the big “group shot” that’s been spoken about so much during the hype of this movie. Even General Ross is there, the little fucker.

And to be even more of a bitter little sarcastic ass — the sailing away of his first arc reactor was sweet, truly, it was. But I look at that lake surrounding their cabin and think…it’s just gunna float around out there, making it’s laps around the cabin. I’d hate to be Pepper, waking up one morning and seeing it near the front porch. Unless they go and collect it once everyone leaves…I dunno, fuck, I just don’t even like thinking about this part of the film. It all played out like so much fanfiction I’ve read waiting for this movie. This just wasn’t supposed to be the movies ending, I really can’t say that enough.

Clint and Wanda have a moment that, I suppose, is there to tell us they’re grieving over Nat and Vision. It all felt like cheap throw away lines. Natasha deserved so much more than that, and hell, so did Vision. And hell, so did half of Asgard, and Loki, and all the people who died because of The Decimation.

But it’s okay. Steve’s going to return the stones back to their proper timelines, as promised to The Ancient One, and with that opportunity of time travel he’s going to give the middle finger to the remaining team members he has by staying back in time and “living some of that life Tony told him to get.” How, you ask? By using his other hand to give his other middle finger to the life Peggy Carter established long after him, with a husband and children and a career at SHIELD, so he can marry her.

😑

Imma be honest, when I first watched this movie, it was the cheeseburger line that really broke me. Up til that very moment, I held strong. I ignored all the shitty jokes, the shitty unraveling of character development, the shitty use of time travel, the shitty death of Tony Stark – I ignored it all. For some reason, the cringey-as-fuck “Your father liked cheeseburgers. I’ll get you all the cheeseburgers you want.” line just broke me. It read so much like badly written fanfiction that to sound like the obnoxious white girl I am, I couldn’t even anymore.

But once this scene hit, I was done. This was my “Nah, fuck this movie.” moment. This was my “I absolutely do not accept this” moment. This was when I walked out of the theaters, not waiting for an end credit scene that didn’t even exists anyway, or the credits of all the actors who’ve been in the MCU since 2008. I walked out the moment that dance ended, furious. And honestly, sticking around for that montage the second time around was rough. The anger hadn’t gone away yet.

So, to sum up? Avengers: Endgame played out like a fans poorly written, rushed, badly scripted fanfiction. But that fan had only watched Infinity War and read a couple of fanfictions afterward to get the gist on how to even write in the first place.

I’ve defended the MCU up until this moment. I know a lot of people jumped ship after Civil War; clearly the Russo Brothers were doing something wrong then. But they absolutely destroyed the universe with this movie to the likes that I’ve personally never seen before. What should have been a proper send off for characters (death or no death) ended up being a laughable joke of bad script writing, poor treatment to characters who had been around for a decade, and an idiotic usage of time travel.

Doctor Strange saw 14 million futures. In my head, Endgame was merely one of their lost battles. In my head, I have disowned this movie from the franchise. And while I will always be a Marvel fan, I’m likely done with the MCU moving forward in this odd universe of 2023. It’s just sad that I have to say goodbye with such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Thankfully, that’s what fannon and fandom is for.

[toosicktoocare]

It’s been, what feels like, eight years since I last wrote, so forgive me if this is rough. 

After looking at the response from the post I made asking what people want to see, I’m going to go with Spider-Man because a lot of people asked for him, with a lot also asking for Tony or marvel in general. 

There was a lot for DBH as well, but I’m going to go with Spider-Man (Irondad and Spiderson) for tonight. I hope that’s okay!

The snow crunching under Peter’s boots as he approaches Stark Tower only serves as a reminder of his buddy aggravation at the cold, at winter, at his poor immune system that gives out the second the temperature drops below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. 

He picked up a cold a few days ago, but it wasn’t-- isn’t-- bad; it’s just a pesky annoyance really, the sneezing, the back of his throat throbbing lightly, the coughing-- all just enough to have Karen using some sort of advanced technology Peter has yet to crack to keep him from donning his suit. 

“Karen, what the hell is this? Why can’t I grab my suit without getting shocked?”

“You’re ill, Peter.”

“It’s a cold.”

“You have a fever.” 

“It’s just a cold--”

“Peter, you don’t exactly have a great track record when it comes to illness and patrol. Now, unless you want me to tell Mr. Stark that you’ve been neglecting rest to catch up on homework, you will stop pushing and leave the suit alone until you’re well again.”

Peter rolls his eyes as the argument burns in his mind, and a gust of wind has him shivering with a hiss. He quickly hugs himself with a low groan. No suit means no heater, and no suit means he had to walk the twenty-five minutes to the tower because Ubers are expensive, and Ned’s mom won’t let him take the car out alone despite having his license now. 

He tugs on his hood, ensuring it covers his face as much as possible, and coughs weakly, breath clouding in the cold air as he starts up the long flight of steps. 

The doors whir open as soon as he approaches them, and the sudden shift from icy wind to engulfing heat has his nose twitching until he’s turning to sneeze sharply into the crook of his arm. Groaning he swipes his sleeve under his nose as his eyes shift around-- it’s empty, quiet, but if he listens, if he taps into his senses, he can hear faint arguing-- one distinctively British accent against a quiet, tired voice.

He follows the voices until he slips into the second floor lounge, where Loki is leaning against a door-frame across the room with crossed arms while Tony is curled up on one couch, a pile of tissues littering the floor around him. 

“You’re a disgusting pile of snot, Stark,” Loki gripes out before dragging his gaze to Peter. “Good luck with this one.” 

He spins on his heel, stalking out of the room, leaving only Peter and Tony, the latter propped up on one elbow to hack barking coughs into his fist. 

“Mr. Stark!” Peter drops his backpack and coat to floor and rushes to Tony’s side, hovering but not touching-- he knows how Tony is. “Are you okay?”

Tony looks up once he catches his breath and sighs quietly. “Yeah, kid. Caught a nasty cold-- that’s all.” 

With furrowed brows, Peter holds one hand up in silent question, and when Tony shows no signs of objection, he slides his palm across Tony’s forehead, lips dropping into a pressing frown at the alarming heat. 

“Mr. Stark, you’re burning up. FRIDAY--”

“It’s 102.3, kid,” Tony cuts off, voice sounding an octave lower than usual as he shivers slightly from Peter’s cold palm. “FRIDAY’s already informed me, and I’ve already got medicine pumping through the system. Now I just have to wait and rest.” 

Peter gets to his feet, frown still playing prominently on his lips. “Mr. Stark, if you’re sick, why did you ask me to come? We could have--” 

“It’s three days until Christmas, Pete. All we’re going to do is watch stupid Christmas movies. I can handle that.” 

Hesitance plays on Peter’s face, and Tony rolls his eyes through a muttered series of coughs. “Don’t give me that look. Go sit on the opposite couch so you don’t catch this plague and cue up Netflix.” 

Quietly, Peter turns toward the other couch, but he pauses half way, a pesky tickle forcing him to turn and sneeze sharply into the crook of his arm. 

“Unless you’ve already fallen victim?” 

Sniffling, Peter turns back to face Tony with a shake of the head. “No, just the temperature difference from outside to inside. It was a cold walk--”

“You walked?” Tony sits up slightly, his turn to frown at the young boy. “Why didn’t you just swing over? I put that built in heater in your suit for a reason, you know.” 

Peter swallows back a small pit of panic. “N-no, I know, Mr. Stark. I just wanted... I wanted to clear my head. I get carried away with all this hero stuff when I’m in the suit.” 

Unconvinced, Tony sits up a little more. “You sound stuffy.” 

“Everyone is stuffy this time of year, Mr. Stark.” Peter turns back around, grabbing the remote before he flops down onto the couch across from Tony. “I promise I’m fine.” 

Tony holds Peter’s gaze for an extended moment, as if picking the kid apart, but Peter knows that look far too well, so he does his best to look relaxed, at ease, like he didn’t just lie to Tony’s face. 

“Fine,” Tony says before turning to sneeze into the blankets. He glances at Peter, eyes shifting to his own mound of blankets before looking back to Peter’s bare couch. “You warm enough over there? I had FRIDAY raise the heat a little because I’m freezing.” 

“Yeah, I’m good, Mr. Stark,” Peter says, shifting his eyes to the TV. Another lie-- he, too, is freezing. His bones are aching to shake against the chill settling against them, yet his face is far too warm. 

“Good. The Grinch?” 

Nodding, Peter arrows over to the movie and presses play. He keeps his eyes to the screen while his focus is on Tony’s persistent coughing and sneezing. Worry pulls at his stomach, but then Tony grows quiet, and Peter spares a glance to see the older man has nodded off, looking at ease in a light slumber. 

Without eyes on him, Peter presses his mouth to his shoulder and coughs harshly, muffling the cough into the fabric of his hoodie, before he lies down, curling onto his side as a shiver whips like an electric shock across his body. His eyes are drooping, and it’s somewhere between the Grinch’s backstory that he, too, nods off. 

*****

Tony’s pulled awake not by the end song from the movie, but from the sound of harsh coughing coming far too close and not from him. He pries tired eyes open, but the sight of Peter curled into a shaking ball and coughing loudly in a fitful sleep has him shooting up with wide, alarmed eyes. 

The kid looks far too pale, and his brows are furrowed in his sleep. He’s shaking from head to toe, teeth clacking together in between painful coughs, and Tony gets to his feet, swaying slightly but blinking past the sudden haze as he crosses the room to Peter. 

“FRIDAY?” 

“His current temperature is 103.2 degrees, sir. Karen’s patched over his vitals over the last four days. Would you like me to read them to you?” 

“Let me guess,” Tony starts, voice almost a groan. “He went from okay, to bad, to worse?” 

“Yes, sir. He caught a cold a few days ago, and his temperature has been steadily climbing since then due to lack of proper rest. I’m afraid his walk here may have pushed his cold to bronchitis.” 

There are words Tony wants to say, but Peter’s starting to stir awake, and when he blinks slowly at Tony, Tony only cocks his head to the side with a frown. 

“M-Mr. Stark?” Peter rasps out, trying to sit up. “Why’re you up? You should be--” 

“Taking care of your ass apparently,” Tony starts, turning away to muffle a few coughs. His head is throbbing, but the kid looks positively miserable. “103.2 degree-fever, kid? What was that nonsense about being fine?” 

Frowning, Peter presses one shaky hand to his cheek, the heat warming his finger tips upon brief contact. “It’s just a cold--”

“Not anymore, it isn’t.” Tony doesn’t mean to sound as harsh as he does-- it’s a spark of concern that comes out as a wave of anger. He gets to his feet with a sigh, and when Peter tries to stand as well, Tony bends over to gently push him back down. “Stay put, kid. I’ll be right back.” 

From heavy-lidded eyes, Peter watches as Tony leaves the room while chatting with FRIDAY. He tries to follow the fleeting conversation, but the fatigue is pulling him back under, and he slips off again. 

He recalls waking up once to drink something that tasted terrible, and he faintly remembers some rustling, possibly some moving, but the fever keeps his mind hazy and drifting back to sleep, until he wakes a few hours later, a frown playing on his lips because he’s sitting up-- sort of. He’s no longer lying flat on his side, he’s pressed against something-- no. 

He’s pressed against someone because he’s warm, no longer feeling as if he’s close to freezing to death. There’s a blanket over him, and there’s an arm draped around his shoulders. He peers up to see Tony sitting up right, his head tilted back against the back of the couch as he snores softly. 

He can’t remember much, but he doesn’t want to wake Tony to ask. Yet a soft voice, one just barely above a whisper, comes from across the room, and Peter shifts his gaze until he sees Loki perched in an arm chair with one leg crossed over the other. 

“He’s fine,” Loki says quietly, and when Peter mutters a weak “how,” Loki cuts him off. “You're easy to read, kid. Tony’s fever is already going down. Yours, however, is still high enough that I’m forced to sit in here and play babysitter to you two sniffling imbeciles until Rogers gets back.” 

Peter holds Loki’s gaze, blinking slowly, tiredly. “Thanks,” he whispers before dropping his head back against Tony’s side. He thinks he hears a scoff; he’s not surprised, but he drifts off with a smile when he hears a mumbled “you’re welcome.”

[avenging-criminal-bones]

Father’s Day

Irondad & Spiderson

Word Count: 2947 (My longest fic :D) 

Warnings: Sick Peter at the end. Implied smut between TONY/PEPPER. St*rker is absolutely DISGUSTING

Summary: Peter has a whole idea for celebrating Father’s Day with Tony, and most of it goes right... Just not in the way that Peter had planned. 

Also, HUGE shoutout to @irondadbxtch for all her help on this fic! Literally she is super awesome

* * * * *

Pepper Potts has a lot on her plate.

Between managing Tony's and Peter's publicity, she rarely has free time on her hands. Add to that all the general CEO duties? Now she's in negative hours of the day. However, when a certain Spider-Teen is calling her, she gives up that little free time in an instant. 

"Ms. Potts! I need to talk to you. It's urgent!" Peter springs into the older woman's path as she tries to make it to the kitchen in one piece. Pepper doesn't answer right away, so Peter is fully prepared to back track. 

He doesn't have to though, as a warm smile make its way to her face, reassuring him. "Hey Pete, is everything alright?"

Pepper sits down at one of the red leather covered stools at the island. Taking a testing sip of her hot tea, she pats the empty stool next to her. 

Peter just stares at her for a minute before he remembers what that gesture means. "Oh! Right, sorry." Awkwardly, the teen stumbles into the seat. "So, life or death wise, everything is fine. But something else is not." Pepper squints trying to find out what he means, but Peter doesn't give her a chance. "Tomorrow is Father's Day, Ms. Potts!"

"Okay..?" Pepper nods slowly, still not understanding Peter's exasperation. "Why does-"

"I wanna do something for Mr. Stark!" Peter blurts and immediately slaps a hand over his mouth. "Oh, um. Yeah. I guess."

Pepper flashes him a knowing smile and says, "Ah, I see." She sips her tea again before setting the mug down and says, "Well what do you need me for?"

"Ms. Potts, can I tell you a story?" Peter asks, trying not to make contact with the older woman. He knew she would just read him like a book. "Just a quick one. I know you have a lot of work. And i should go, I didn't even think. I'm-"

Pepper reaches over and grabs his hand briefly. "Go ahead, Peter." 

The boy's shy smile comes back quickly. "Okay, so once upon a time, there was this kid. His name was Peter." Pepper lets out a short breath of a laugh and nods. "Peter had a rough time growing up. His dad passed away with his mom. So there's Father #1." He pauses and looks at Pepper to gauge her reaction. 

Her eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, but she nods, telling him to continue. 

"Yeah, so then Peter went to live with an Aunt and Uncle. Time skip to nine years later, his uncle dies. That was Father #2." Peter frowns and his mouth sets in a firm line. He takes a breath and says, "Three years after that, Peter is officially part of Tony Stark's life. Consistently. Not just once a year after Germany." He doesn't even realize that he's saying the next part. "Mr. Stark is the closest thing that I've had to a dad ever since Uncle Ben died." He's vaguely aware of Pepper grabbing his hand again. "I just want to tell him that."

Pepper nods and sighs a bit. "You know, I think he already knows that's how you feel." She smiles slightly and says, "He told me you called him dad at putt putt the other day." She winked at him when Peter's eyes opened wide. 

"He noticed that?!" The teen was immediately rambling. "Wait, was he mad? Oh gosh, I'm just some random kid? Did he seem weirded out? Oh my gosh. Ms. Potts, is he gonna stop talking-"

"Peter! No! He thinks of you as the son he never had." Pepper's smile is small, but it's there. The teen's shoulders easily relax and he thinks for a minute. 

"Oh my God! Pep- Ms. Potts! I have so many ideas!" He starts going on and on about breakfast in bed, a nice card, a gift, and a ton of other stuff he wanted to do. 

"Mr. Stark, please just go with her." Peter asks his mentor to leave for the third time since he came up from the lab that night. 

Tony grumbled and shook his head. "No until you tell me why?" Crossing his arms over his chest, he puts on his best dad-face. "Why do you want me to leave my own living quarters at, " He checks his watch and then continues, "8:39 PM?"

Peter blushed, getting flustered. Luckily he doesn't have to come up with an answer, because Pepper walks in. 

"Tony, he's asking for me. We were talking earlier and I told him how we haven't had a nice date night in too long." It wasn't a complete lie, that WAS mentioned. "Peter has made it his duty to change that." Pepper grabbed the collar of his baseball tee and pulled him into her. She places a gentle kiss on his lips and says, "Come on, Tony. I miss going out on the town with you." 

The older man glances at Peter and gives him the 'I'm watching you' signal before nodding, and smiling softly at Pepper. "That sounds good, sweetheart. Fancy of not fancy?"

"Hmm... Fancy." Pepper nods, her smile more genuine now. When Tony leaves to get changed into something nicer, she winks at Peter before going towards her and Tony's shared room. 

When they eventually left the compound, Peter was sprinting into the elevator, almost running into the back wall. "FRIDAY, to the lab!" 

Yes, Mr. Parker, though I would not advise working without the Boss.

"It's fine. He trusts me." Peter says confidently, even though he knows the AI is probably right. "It's okay, just take me there please."

He hears the elevator gear up before it starts moving, accompanied by a 'yes, Mr. Parker' from the artificial intelligence system. 

Peter got into the work space a few minutes later and immediately jogged to his corner of the lab. Tony had put in another (granted smaller) table on the other side of the room when Peter had started coming over to tinker more often. There had been a long conversation about why their tables couldn't face each other, and Tony's reply was simply 'Because I would not get any work done with you ogling me.'

Grabbing a few different pieces of metal and wires, he walks back to the smaller table on the far side of the lab. He hums to himself and then says, "FRIDAY, can you play that one Led Zeppelin song that played on Happy's jet?"

I can Mr. Parker, however the song is actually 'Back in Black' by the famous band AC/DC. They have been popular since 1973 and-

"Okay, whatever. Play that song please?" Peter interrupts quickly, knowing that Tony probably programmed the AI to give him all the information if he ever mentions it. The song starts playing and he smiles, bobbing his head to the beat. "Thanks FRI." 

Peter pulls up a holographic image of blueprints that he starts fiddling with. He mumbles to himself as he goes and about ten minutes in, he thinks about a possible problem. "Hey Fri, if you alert me when Mr. Stark pulls into the driveway, would I have enough time to close up shop and get upstairs to my room and the common room before he gets inside?" 

After a few seconds, the AI answers. 

According to my calculations based on you running at a general jogging pace, you would indeed make it before Boss get's back into the building.

Smiling widely, Peter cheers a bit. "That's great. Okay. I better start soon then." He realizes that his plan won't work without wire trimming, because he can't just leave the wires open. 

About an hour and a half later, Peter had created a ‘PeterBot3000′ and had half of a holographic father's day card done when FRIDAY gave him the alert. 

"Oh shit!" He starts scrambling to grab the supplies that he needs and the two pieces of technology. 

Language, Mr. Parker.

He huffs and says, "Are you kidding me?" 

No Mr. Parker. There is a protocol in place-

"Of course there is." He runs into the elevator and yells, probably unnecessarily loudly, "FRI, you know where to go!" 

The AI takes him up to the floor that his room was on and he ends up with exactly enough time to hide the things in his closet and then run out to the common room to turn on the TV. "Can you put on the 6th Star Wars movie please?" 

FRIDAY doesn't respond, but she streams the movie on the large TV mounted to the wall and even has the decency to skip ahead for as long as Tony and Pepper had been out. 

Peter doesn't tune into the movie, instead he focuses hard on listening to Tony and Pepper. He doesn't hear much, but he scrunches his nose and stops listening after what he does hear. 

 "So Pep, was your night out everything you'd hoped it would be?"

"Mmm. Yeah it was. But you know what would make it even better?" 

"No actually. I can't seem to think of anything."

"Well maybe I should enlighten you?"

"Yes. Please do. Enlighten- Uhng. Oh shi- Pep..."

 "Ew! Oh my God. Gross. FRIDAY volume up to 20!" groaning is disgust, Peter shakes his head and really tunes into the movie now. Eventually he dozes off, his head hanging low in front of him. He'd probably be snoring if his chin wasn't firmly pressed against his chest. 

A few hour later, Peter vaguely remembers being re-positioned on the couch in a much more comfortable manner. 

"Mmph. Mis'r S'ark?" He asks without opening his eyes. His voice is muffled by the tan couch pillow and the fuzzy blanket that he's curling into. After a soft chuckle, a quiet voice speaks. 

"Yeah, kid. It's me. Now go back to bed."

"M'Kay." Peter rolls into the back of the couch and is snoring withing a minute. 

The next morning, Peter wakes up with his alarm at 6:15. He knows Mr. Stark likes to be up and moving by 7:00 most days. 

Last night about a have an hour after Tony had tucked him in, Peter woke up remembering that he had to finish the card. SO burning the midnight oil like his Da- Mr. Stark, he finished it. And then he went back to bed, but coughing all night, you don't get much sleep. Really, the kid only got about four hours last night, but it is totally worth it if Mr. Stark likes his gift. 

That being said, it's no surprise that he woke up feeling just plain gross. He blamed it on the lack of sleep and how he couldn't remember the last time he ate. If Peter was being honest, he's surprised that he hasn't passed out from his fast metabolism yet. 

Peter stumbles into the kitchen, sniffling once or twice as he rubs his eyes awake. 

"Okay, so Mr. Stark's favorite breakfast is waffles." He thinks and adds, "Or was it pancakes? Wait- Did Ms. Potts say french toast?"

Mr. Parker, Pepper Potts did indeed say 'waffles'. 

Nodding to himself, Peter's head lurched forward in an attempt at keeping bile from rising up in his throat. In surprise, he drops the bowl that he had just grabbed from the cupboard— luckily plastic— and all but sprints into the nearest bathroom, which happened to be his private one. Groaning, Peter falls to his knees and effectively empties anything that had been in his stomach into the toilet. He stay hovering over the toilet with his eyes closed, a string of spit dripping from his mouth. He really puked a lot for not having eaten much lately. 

What even is that? Is that and intestine? 

Peter is so caught up in his childish thoughts and mild discomfort, that he doesn't even hear Tony walk in. 

"Pete? You okay, kiddo?" There's a hand on the back of his neck now. The coolness of it soothes Peter slowly. He spits into the toilet and wipes his mouth as he nods. He sits up slowly, only mildly aware of Tony steadying him by the shoulders. 

"I'm fine." Peter sighs and starts to stand, but the spinning room seems to have other plans and he slides back to the floor. Exhaling softly, he rests his head against the wall and closes his eyes, brows furrowing in uneasiness. 

"Nope. That's not acceptable. Okay, kid, let's go." Tony scoops Peter into his arms as if the boy weighs nothing, despite the teen's protests to being carried. "FRIDAY, open all the doors between here and Peter's bedroom, please?" 

Once he has Peter settled laying on his bed, Tony hums to himself and puts the back of his hand on the kid's forehead to try and test for a fever. He felt a little warm, but Tony wanted to make sure.

"Can you also ream me Pete's temperature, FRI?" 

100.2 as of now Sir. Not warranting medical attention yet. 

Peter huffs from his spot curled under his covers and grumbles, "Well this blows." He reached out of the blanket burrito and grabbed his Iron Man plushy, bringing it to his chest in a tight hug. 

"Why's that?" Tony sit's on the edge of his kid's bed. "And that the hell were you doing will eleven eggs at 6:30 in the morning?" 

Peter frowns despite the obvious amusement in Tony's voice. 

"You're gonna think it's dumb." Peter sniffles again and wipes his nose on the dark blue blanket. 

"No I won't." When Tony get's an unbelieving look from Peter he adds, "I promise."

Peter sighs and looks at the plush toy before meeting Tony' gaze. "Well first of all, I have a huge and amazing plan for today. Ms. Potts and I were talking yesterday, and she told me that you're favorite breakfast food is waffles. So I got up early enough that I'd have time to make them before you woke up." Peter shakes his head and drops eye contact with his mentor, instead preferring to stare intensely at a lighter blue swirl in his blanket. "Except I don't know how to make waffles, so I just grabbed all the eggs I could find." Frowning, Peter continues. "That's not even the best part."

Tony finally caught Peter's gaze then and the kid saw that he had a soft smile on his face. That fact had the teen already a little bit happier. 

"Oh it isn't? I don't know what else you can do. Eleven-egged waffles seem like a top notch plan to me." He picks on Peter fatherly as he ruffles his hair. 

"Go look in my closet." Peter commands, subconsciously leaning into the comforting touch. "There's a box labeled 'For Mr. Stark' in it."

Tony gives a skeptical look, but follows the instructions nonetheless. Pulling out the box, he opens it, finding a card first. His face lights up with blue LED lights that were used in the hologram. The card doesn't say much, but its a Spider-Man webbing the front of the card, opening it for Tony to read. Inside there are a few sentences, and just as many inside jokes. 

Dear Mr. Dad, 

Thank you for being there for me even when I am a 'little Peter bot' whatever that means. 

Now open the rest of the thingy!

Love, 

Kid

Peter has conveniently hidden under his snot-filled blanket, so when Tony turns, beaming at Peter, the kid doesn't even see it. Tony carefully lifts the divider that Peter had placed between the card and the heavy gift at the bottom of the box. Tony has no idea what to expect, but it certainly isn't an actual 'PeterBot3000'.

The older man laughs then. Out loud. That was something that Peter had never seen before, something he rarely even heard of. So naturally, the kid had to peek out from his hiding spot and see what was happening. 

By the time he opens his eyes though, the laughter has stopped and been replaced with the widest smile Peter had ever seen on Tony's face. Better yet, it was aimed at him. Before he knows it, his mentor, was motioning him to come here. Peter nodded with  smile, sitting up to meet the hug. It was warm and happy. Tony just holds Peter close and speaks when he pulls away from the teen. 

"Thank you so, so much, kiddo." Tony smile still hasn't faded. 

"You're welcome." Peter smiles and then a blush forms on his cheeks. "Dad?" He tests the waters, not sure what the result will be. 

"Yes son." Tony emphasizes the new name. "Dad it is." Tony looks down and inconspicuously wipes at his eyes when Peter isn't looking. He thinks for a moment and a confused look appears on his face. "Wait. When did you make all of this?" 

Peter smiles sheepishly. "You know how Ms. Potts said I made it my goal to get you guys on a date?" 

"That's what you were doing?"

"That's what I was doing." He smiled at Tony's evident happiness. 

Tony chuckles and says, "I guess I'm going to have to teach you how to make waffles before next Father's Day, aren't I?" 

"Definitely." The young boy laughs and says, "By the way. Since you're my dad now, you are completely obligated to cuddle." Peter holds his arms out expectantly as he yawns, waiting for his request to be filled. 

"Alright Pete." Tony sighs happily and lays back down, pulling Peter onto his chest. Gently, he runs a hand through the boy's hair. 

"I love you dad." Peter says as he sniffles again before closing his eyes. 

Tony's heart clenches happily and he smiles. "I love you too, son."

[rambling-at-midnight]

Snowflakes Melt Too Quickly: Part 3

Sorry for the long wait, guys, but I’ve written pretty much the rest of this series. It’s going to have 5 parts! Hopefully the Peter Parker x Reader and Irondad/Spiderson stories I’m working on right now will get finished... sometime... eventually...

The Snow

Day 1859

A little over five years you and Five have been living in the warehouse. You’re both roughly eighteen years old (too many times you’ve both forgotten to mark the days off on your calendar, and neither of you have ever been able to agree on which months have 29 days and which have 30 or 31, so you’ve compromised by simply counting out each day of every year). You’re five years older than your mother ever got to see you be, and Five is five years older than he remembers his siblings being.

There’s something there to be said about the things you lost in order to survive the fire, and the things Five sacrificed without knowing he was sacrificing them. Forever his siblings will be locked in his memory at 13 years old. He’ll never get to see them grow and mature, he’ll never see them mess up, he’ll never see them joke and read and play the violin and do all the other boring, mundane things he had found so annoying before he’d jumped.

Survival had been etched into your DNA, an instinct you couldn’t deny that made you abandon that car and your mother, and even if it makes your chest feel tight every day, Five still gets to see you grow and mature. He still gets to see you mess up (like that time you’d eaten the rest of his food without asking) and read (your favorite book is The Fifth Wave by Rick Yancey) and hobble around, trying so hard to be independent and strong.

It was the once in a lifetime chance that you had run back into the warehouse. It was a one in a million chance that Five had showed up after the initial fire, or even in 2019 instead of going back in time or a million years in the future. It was a one in a million chance that you would dive under the desk and the printer would fall and knock you out, saving you from hours of suffering through brutal heat but being sheltered from the worst of it.

There were a domino of choices that led to you and Five meeting each other, and it still scares the hell out of you every day when you think about everything that could have gone wrong.

There haven’t been a lot of changes throughout these five years. You both still sleep in the same area. You both still wash in the girl’s bathroom because the boy’s bathroom door had been burned and melted shut.

The few changes that have occurred haven’t been major. You barely need your crutches anymore. Pain is only brought on by extended periods of walking or labor and Five makes sure you’re never on your feet for too long.

Five was able to jump as of two years ago, but not through time. The first time you’d seen that telltale blue light you’d panicked as Five had disappeared but he’d appeared behind you, looking thoroughly confused and annoyed. His abilities to jump through space are fantastic but unnerving, and all they mean is that when you start to run out of supplies his trips to get more are significantly shorter.

You’ve gotten taller and the burns on your arms have mostly healed. They ache a little and they sting when it’s especially cold out, but there is only mild discoloration. Your feet are better, too, and you can handle wearing shoes on them, but they’ll always be tender.

Still thinking about the fire makes your feet and arms hurt, and it makes your breathing quicken. The moon had exploded. You still haven’t worked up the courage to look at the night sky without the glowing planet that should have been ever-present in it.

Right now you’re walking around the warehouse, bored because Five’s out on another supply run. You’ve long since lost patience for the puzzles, because you’ve done each of them at least fifteen times. It’s tedious. Plus, you’ve read every book in the display, even the ones meant for five-year-olds.

Nobody said the apocalypse was going to be this boring. Whenever you read about it or watched shows and movies about it, there was always the group of survivors fighting desperately to keep living and fend off the rest of whatever had killed everyone else.

All it is is silence, empty rooms, and hard floors. That’s all it is because that’s all you can see.

“I’m back!” Five calls, appearing with a stack of books in his arms. “I got some new books, they should be interesting—”

“I’m going to take a nap,” you interrupt.

Day 1900

Five can’t figure it out.

He must have done something to you that he doesn’t remember, because you’re not talking to him at all. Whenever he tries to say anything, you always interrupt and say you have to go do something else. Most of the time it’s a nap. Meals are eaten in silence.

He’s even been ‘kicked out of the bed’; you insisted that someone was going to have to sleep away from the other to keep from waking the other up by snoring. Never mind that you’re the only one that snores.

Five hadn’t wanted to argue, so he’d just complied and dragged a few pillows into the parking lot. It’s a nice night outside; not too hot and not too cold, and the wind isn’t very hard either.

Five lies down on his back and closes his eyes, trying to think. Yeah, he can be a jerk. He hasn’t done anything recently, though, right? This doesn’t make any sense.

I mean, sure, it’s the apocalypse. It sucks. And sometimes he’s sick of you and sometimes you’re sick of him, which is what happens when two people are together 24/7. But you’re never like this.

Five sighs and opens his eyes. Then he blinks.

How could he not have noticed it? Five years in the apocalypse and he never once noticed something huge. Just because you and Five holed up in your warehouse day and night, he’d never noticed the absence of the moon?

How the hell has the moon disappeared? The odds are that it’s a new moon are low, and even if it was a new moon the sky wouldn’t be that bright, would it? So what the fuck happened to the moon?

Wait a second. Five remembers you’d mentioned the moon the day he met you, but he’d written you off as injured and delirious. How had he not followed up for five years what you’d meant?

So the moon had something to do with the apocalypse. ‘The fire’, Five’s heard you call it before.

The sky is stunning. There’s more stars than anyone’s ever seen before. With the absence of the moon and of light pollution from the earth, he can practically see every star ever. They’re littered across the sky like the flowers that would bloom every spring at the park across from Griddy’s in the spring.

You’d like to see this, Five knows. What he doesn’t know is if you’ll get mad at him for disrupting your sleep.

“Fuck it,” he mutters, getting up but keeping his head up so he can continue looking at the stars. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything like this before. “Y/N?”

“What?” you call from under your mountain of blankets.

“Come out here!”

“What is it?” you ask without moving.

“Just come on,” Five says, evading the question. “You’re gonna love it.”

“Just… what is it?” you ask, finally rolling over to look at Five, which he takes as a good sign. Once you’ve started to move, just like Five, it’s hard for you to fall back to sleep.

“Just come on!” he repeats, waving emphatically like he’s telekinetic and trying to move you.

With an exaggerated groan, you roll out of your bed and stand up. “Well, what is it?”

“Come look at this,” Five says, grabbing your hand to pull you out of the warehouse. “I can’t believe I never noticed before, but we always stay in the warehouse and I’m always in shelter when I sleep when I’m out, but this…” He points up at the sky. “Look, Y/N. It’s gorgeous.”

You look up. There’s no moon shining in the sky, which means everything is darker than it should be. The darkness lets stars shine through, though. You can see them all, lighting the sky up but not as brightly as the moon did, tinting the black into purple and blue. There’s too many to count freckling the night sky, but when you blink you can still see the moon exploding. You can still see the meteors raining down onto the earth.

You can still see your mother yelling at you to come with her, to get into that metal coffin, and you can still see the look on her face when you’d ran.

“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” Five asks, and you realize your breathing had gotten quite shallow.

“I saw it explode,” you say quietly, staring at the ground. The shadows are better than the infinite vastness of the universe. “The moon. I saw it break into little pieces.”

“Meteors caused the fire,” Five says, realization dawning on him for the first time in five years. Funny how the apocalypse can distract one from the technicalities of how it started. “It was basically the dinosaurs all over again.”

If you keep your eyes open, then you don’t see the exploding moon on your eyelids. It’s easier to stare at Five as he gazes at the sky, an undeniably awestruck look making his lips part a little bit. He’s almost as terribly beautiful as the stars (you’ve thought, a few times before, that Five sort of looks like a Greek statue—he’s got the stone-cold brooding look down pat, and his features are all sharp). He’s almost as blinding, especially when you run the risk of him noticing that you’re staring at him.

You’re eighteen, you realize, or close to it. There’s no one to enforce rules. There’s no rules, even.

“I’ll be right back,” you say and gingerly walk back into the warehouse.

This must have been what you felt like the first time I left, Five thinks.

You come back out with a wine bottle, and neither of you get drunk—in your opinion, it tastes terrible, so it must be an acquired taste that you have no intention of acquiring, and Five isn’t interested in dulling his senses. It did feel like a milestone, though, in the way that one feels they’re becoming more free, except there’s nothing for you to be freed from.

You do sleep next to Five, though, the closest you’ve ever been; never before have the two of you felt the need to share a bed, not even during the coldest nights of these lonely years. Five can feel something different in his stomach when he watches your eyes flutter closed. He can feel the electricity simmering in the air.

This changes something, but he doesn’t know what.

Day 3982

It’s been almost eleven years since the fire. You’re almost twenty-four years old. Five is almost twenty-four years old. He’s grown especially fond of coffee and alcohol, and you barely need your crutches anymore.

Two years ago the two of you left the warehouse, though Five made sure to bring string with him for a trail just in case anything ever happened. Even though the warehouse was unbearably dull after you’d read every book and finished every puzzle, it was still home to the two of you for about nine years. Maybe he’s too sentimental, but he faithfully ties the string around rocks and trees he sees just in case you ever want to go back.

You exhale and your breath clouds in front of your face. It’s cold. It’s been cold, actually; you and Five are pretty sure you’re heading north, but neither of you have a compass so you can’t really be sure. You’re both wearing heavy layers and have ski masks over your faces, hands encased in gloves and clenched together. Just in case, Five had said, but what could possibly happen when you’re the only two people left in the earth? What possible attack would you two need to fend off or protect each other from?

The truth is that maybe he just wants some comfort but hadn’t wanted to outright ask for it. The truth is that maybe you two are too dependent on each other after nearly eleven years of only having the other, of having no choice but to rely on and help the other, of being close enough to be siblings but the invisible wall you’d sometimes brushed up against had always kept you from being that close. You suspect the invisible wall is named Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Ben, and Vanya, and thank god it exists. You don’t want to be Five’s next adopted sister.

The truth is that you can feel the heat from Five’s hand through the glove, and it’s spreading throughout your whole body and flushing your cheeks. You hadn’t wanted to admit how you may like Five as more than a friend, but the attraction you feel for him is undeniable. If he was ever with you, though, you can’t help but feel like it would be because he has no other options. Isn’t that what always happens when two people are alone together? They inevitably end up together because humans just crave affection and if only one other person can give it, then they’ll trick themselves into thinking they love that person.

A snowflake blows into your eye, and before you’ve blinked it out a light snowfall is falling. You smile and stop walking to stick your tongue out. It took almost four years for the snow to lighten up, and even now a few flakes are still tinted grey. It’s still beautiful, though, to see them falling around, cloaking fallen structures and rubble so that they all look like people bundled up under the white blanket. It helps you feel less alone.

Five holds up his hands so the snowflakes can fall neatly onto his black gloves. He enjoys studying each individual crystal shape before his warm breath melts them. His favorite way to see the snowflakes, however, is on your eyelashes and in your hair. He thinks they make you look angelic. It’s ironic, because you’re essentially an angel that whatever higher power exists had protected and sent you down to keep him company for however long his powers malfunction. Or maybe he’s the angel that a higher power had sent to the apocalypse to keep you company.

Five breathes onto his gloves and the flakes melt.

Maybe each snowflake represents a reality. They’re all different. Maybe the ones landing on you detail a reality where the apocalypse had never happened, when you got to grow up surrounded by your loving family and not need crutches or have burnt feet. Maybe the ones falling on Five are the ones where, etched into every groove of the crystal, he didn’t get stuck in 2019.

Maybe each snowflake is you. Five’s never really met anyone like you, and you’re the one in 7 billion that survived the apocalypse. You’re just as unique as every single snowflake that’s ever existed.

He blows gently on a snowflake and watches as it melts into his glove. When he looks up, your tongue is still sticking in the air, your eyes closed. For once, there’s a blissful expression on your face. Normally you look so worried and serious.

Five realizes, with some surprise, that he’d like to kiss you.

Day 5584

It takes fifteen full years for Five to stop ignoring the feeling in his stomach when he looks at you, his strange protectiveness over a girl that’s as safe as the last girl on earth can be, and the way his mouth ignores his directions and tries to twist up into a smile whenever he looks at you.

Your eyes are on the most recent book you’d found, reading the description on the back. You’d said something about Vanya—Five’s heart had jolted at the sound of his abandoned sister; you’d seemed to understand he hadn’t wanted to talk about his lost life and not brought it up for years—and turned it over, and maybe it had something to do with the way your wind-tossed hair looked, or the way your face looked especially pretty after Five hadn’t seen it for days of wearing masks and hats to protect from the glaring sun, but he’d strode across the room, crashing his lips onto yours.

The hand holding the book you’d been interested in is caught between your two bodies, but you don’t seem to mind at all. You wrap your free hand around Five’s neck without hesitation, fingers tangling in the unruly hairs at the nape of his neck, and pull him closer. Inexperienced lips—shouldn’t be inexperienced, Five thinks feverishly as he drinks in your taste, breathing through his nose so he doesn’t have to pull away, will never have to pull away, should have been doing this all day for years—press against his own, chastely closed.

“Five?” you murmur, pulling away infinitesimally. “What’s that for?”

“I think I’m in love with you,” Five breathes back, proud of your breathless voice and wide eyes, smirking at the way you blanch.

Day 7329

You’ve been alone for the past day. You’d woken up and Five was gone, which isn’t crazy unusual, but most of the time he leaves a note for you. You’d searched all around for one, but there wasn’t. Either he didn’t leave one or it had blown away while you were sleeping.

While you may be a little worried, Five hadn’t woken you up to tell you he was leaving. He obviously knows he’s coming back.

You just don’t know when.

Without Five, there’s not much to do. You would go back to sleep, but it’s too bright to fall asleep, and the twinges of pain shooting up your legs from your feet would make it hard too. After days of walking, trying to find something fun to do (opportunities for that are extremely scarce in the apocalypse), your feet have been extra sensitive.

You sit down on a rock, hot from the sun glaring down on the barren earth, and start to stretch. Sometimes it can help your feet.

You’re reaching for your toes when Five appears again.

“Where have you been?” you ask through gritted teeth, hooking your fingers around your big toe to make the stretch more effective. “You didn’t leave a note.”

Five clears his throat, which you know is a nervous tic for him. It’s uncharacteristic; he’s almost never nervous, and he definitely wouldn’t be around you. You glance up, squinting from the sun’s glare, which makes it hard to see all of Five’s features.

“Y/N, we’ve known each other for about 20 years, and we’ve been together for exactly one thousand and seven hundred forty-five days, which is almost five years.”

You stand up so the glare isn’t blurring his features as much. It’s only then that you notice the small velvet box Five is holding out, hand trembling slightly, and in a fit of shock the only thing you can think is unsteady hands; he’d be a bad doctor.

“Now, I know you don’t have a lot of options,” Five continues. He sounds almost desperate, as if he really thinks he needs to convince you to take the box from him. “And by ‘a lot’ I mean ‘any’. But I’d like to think even if you had a million options you’d still choose me, because I’d choose you. So, even though there’s no one left to—”

You take the box out of his hand and open it. He must have been jumping to jewelry stores all day, because you know Five doesn’t settle, and it’s no coincidence that he’d chosen your birthstone to be the center of the ring. Twisted metal like vines make up the ring, and the stone’s practical but still large.

“Of course, this is just the engagement ring,” Five babbles when you don’t say anything, just stare at the ring for a few seconds. “I figured you’d like a normal marriage just like everyone else, so that includes an engagement ring and a wedding ring and I could jump you around to every intact jewelry store I can find if you want to get one for me, but if you don’t that’s fine too, and—”

You slip the ring onto your finger, admiring the way the sun glints off the stone and forms rainbows on the rubble around you. How can such beauty exist in such a terrible world?

“Oh, my God,” Five says with alarm when he notices your teary eyes. “I’m so sorry, Y/N—was it something I said? You don’t need to take the ring! We don’t—”

“Shut up,” you manage to choke out, nearly falling on him as you wrap your arms around his neck and squeeze. “Just shut up.”

Five hesitates before hugging you back. “Yes?”

“You’re an idiot,” you choke out in a reply, and he hears the answer even though you don’t say it.

Thanks for your patience, guys! School is picking up a little bit but lacrosse season is drawing to an end so I should have a little more free time from now on. I really like how the story’s turning out and I hope you do too! Stay tuned!

Umbrella Academy Taglist:

@fentanvl @deathswretch @lightningidiot @five-hg @iamsnek666@ameliatrh @ihatecheesyusernames @dora-the-grownup @emilyt0314 @idklol707

Snowflakes Taglist:

@campcampie

Five x Reader Taglist:

@statsvitenskap @dare-the-punisher @thespian-anon @ask-veronica-sawyer-heathers @fivegallaghers @ggclarissa @akiyamakuro 

Forever Taglist:

@lemirabitur @annymcervantes @queenmissfit

[theatrelove3000]

Operation Baby Stark

Okay! This is not a Loki fic. It helps explain something in the next Loki fic I am going to post when I get done procrastinating and finish writing it. This is an Irondad Spiderson fic. It’s just Tony adopting Peter. It’s pretty short and the only reason I am posting it is to get @thatavengersbitch off my back. You can stop asking now, darling. I will text you when I write another one, okay? Patience.

Warnings: Fluffy fluff. Maybe swearing? I can’t remember.

Operation Baby Stark

3rd Person PoV:

After Tony and May dropped Peter and Mogan off at school, they went out for coffee and to buy Easter presents. 

They are talking about their education compared to that of their children and eventually Tony asks if May had a plan before Peter’s parents died. 

“I thought about going to school to be a nurse but it’s just a lot right now, what with Peter in school and being Spiderman. Plus, I don’t exactly have the finances anyway.” May laughs a bit as she finishes, trying to make a joke out of it.

“May, you make a fantastic nurse.” He pauses for a moment, thinking. After a second, he speaks up again. “Don’t worry about the cost. I got you. All I ask in return is you let me adopt the kid.”

May almost faints. Did she hear him right? THE Anthony Edward Stark wants to adopt her Peter?

“What?” She squeaks.

“You let me adopt Peter and I will pay your way through nursing school. When you graduate, you can work at the tower in the med bay or I’ll get you a job at a hospital of your choosing.” He elaborates. 

They stare at each other in silence for a minute or two.

“Did I just die? Is this heaven? You really want to adopt Peter? You have talked this through with Pepper right? This isn’t a snap decision on your part?”

“We have discussed it at length. We love him like our own and Morgan already calls him big brother. We would be happy to take him.” He smiles at his friend and replacement mother for his (hopefully) future son.

She hugs Tony tightly and he holds on just as fiercely, knowing her answer. “Oh, Tony, this is huge for us! He has been thinking of you as a dad for years. This would be amazing for him! Thank you.”

“Not at all, May. Thank you for raising my kid before I met him.” He throws his arm over her shoulders and escorts her to the car.

Peter PoV:

“PETEY!” Morgan runs over to me as fast as she can and jumps into my arms. 

“Baby Stark!” I spin her around and put her up on my shoulders. 

“How was your trip? Did you beat the bad guys?” She drags her fingers through my hair and begins to practice braiding like Auntie Elle taught her.

“Yeah, we did. I’m glad to be home with you though. Now we can make cookies!”

“COOKIES!”

I set her on the counter and start to collect the ingredients for the chocolate chip cookies when Mr. Stark comes in with Mrs. Potts on his arm. Pepper hugs me and then takes Morgan, promising her that I will come and get her when Iron Dad is done with me. I look at Mr. Stark nervously. Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble? Is he kicking me off the Avengers?

He smirks and laughs at my face. “Take a breather, kid. You aren’t in trouble. I just have some big news!”

I release the breath that I don’t realize I am holding. “Phew. Okay, what’s up, Sir?”

He grins widely. I haven’t seen him smile like that since Morgan was born. “Pep and I are having another baby.”

“Wow, Mr. Stark! That’s great! Congratulat-”

“It’s you.” He pulls an envelope out from his inside jacket pocket. I am too shocked to respond. He opens the letter and takes out a thicc stack of papers, setting them on the table. “Sign here.” He points to a dotted line and extends his hand. He holds out his fountain pen. I just sit there, my mouth hanging open.

“Hey, kid. Anyone home? Sign the papers.” He smiles at me again. I look from him to the pen and back.

I throw myself at him, crying into his shirt. He wraps his arms around me and pats my hair. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

“It’s alright, Pete. It’s alright.”

Once I calmed down enough to see straight, I take the pen and sign on the line.

“Welcome to the family, Spiderson.”

[lazyfox411]

Spiderman: Afraid of Water (ft. Irondad)

im back from the dead yall with a fic i promised @spiderling-the-meme​ a long time ago and never ended up finishing until now. 

Length: 1904 words (a short boi)

Prompt: i honestly dont even remember what the actual prompt was my dude i just know you asked for peter being afraid of water after his experience of being dumped in a lake by the vulture and tony accidentally triggering that fear while theyre on vacation with irondad and spiderson feels so….thats basically what this is lol

Peter used to enjoy long showers. A relaxing flow of warm water, clouds of steam, and the fresh scent of soaps and shampoos. It was all enjoyable. Key word being was.

               Now, stepping under that warm stream meant reliving. This water was warm, but not all water was warm. This water didn’t surround him like a dark wall of nothingness, but some water had. He could still breath under the shower water, didn’t sink into what seemed like an endless abyss, but that wasn’t true for all water.

               Being in the water meant reliving. Reliving the night he’d been dumped in a lake and left to die, the glow of the Vulture’s eyes still refracting through the ripples. He hadn’t given it a second thought at first, but then he’d notice hid heart rate going up, the hairs on his arms raising, his breath getting short. He’d pinned it on the spidey-senses, some sort of danger near by, only he couldn’t seem to find anything wrong. It only dawned on him when he looked at all the places it reoccurred: the beach, the rain, the shower. He was afraid of the water.

               So now, Peter took shorter showers. Just to get clean, not to relax. When Aunt May offered to take him to the beach, or the pool, he politely passed. He didn’t go out in the rain unless he had to, and never without an umbrella. And no one questioned it.

               Today there were no clouds looming over the city, so Peter decide he would be safe without an umbrella. If anything, it would be snowing today; with winter temperatures blowing in earlier than usual.

               Peter stared out the window whenever he could at school that day, not to watch the weather, but rather to avoid watching the whiteboard at the front of the class. School seemed so boring now that he was Spiderman, but he had promised Aunt May and Mr. Stark that grades would come first. He might have had his fingers crossed when the subject of precalculus came up.

               “Mr. Parker,” droned the precal teacher, Mrs. Traff, a middle-aged woman with wrinkled hands and massive red glasses, “since you’re not paying attention, I can only assume you already know the material?” Her voice didn’t waver, but her sharp eyes pierced through him.

               “Absolutely,” Peter lied, hoping his voice didn’t squeak.

               “Then perhaps you’d like to provide an answer for question number two?”

               Peter nodded, slowly, as if buying time would help him in the slightest. He saw Ned waving at him from the corner of his eye, mouthing something that looked like ‘five’.

               “Five,” he answered.

               A collective wave of muffled laughter passed over the other students. Peter’s face heated.

               “Five?” Mrs. Traff repeated incredulously. “Mr. Parker, you are telling me that you believe there are currently five states in our country?”

               No one bothered to hide their laughs this time. Where just a moment ago he was beet red, Peter knew now he looked like a sheet. He looked around the room, only really seeing it now. “This…this isn’t precalculus,” he said stupidly. He was in a history room. Mrs. Traff was his history teacher. Ned was trying to say ‘fifty’.

               Fridays usually carried good vibes, but the day did not get any better after that. Between taunts of ‘Penis Parker’, Ned accidentally blurting that Peter still had a nightlight in his room (really though, Peter had to wonder, what was so wrong with that?), and a freezing cold walk home, Peter was downright miserable upon returning home.

               “What’s the matter, Spider-man?” May ruffled his hair.

               Peter liked when she called him that. When it came from May, it wasn’t a superhero name. It was just a nickname, like squirt or sport, holding only love and affection, and not the weight of the fate of the city. May was supporting him. After laying some ground rules—a lot of ground rules—and a lot of yelling at Mr. Stark, May was supporting him as Spider-man.

               “I’m okay, Aunt May,” Peter said.

               May tsked and smoothed his hair back down. “I know what’ll cheer you up.”

               Peter raised an eyebrow.

               “Tony Stark called today, asking for you.”

               “Me?” Peter asked, like she would be referring to anyone else. “Like, me, as in Peter Parker? Personally?”

               “Yup,” May said, popping the ‘p’.

               “What did he want?”

               “He asked if you’d like to accompany him to an expo this weekend. In Miami.”

               Peter’s eyes widened to saucers. From what he’d seen in the media, Mr. Stark’s expos were nothing short of amazing. A whole variety of guests, from college students sporting backpacks and sweaters to millionaires in extravagant suits sipping fancy drinks, a big inspirational speech from Mr. Stark, and all the newest ground-breaking technology that SI was funding.

               “I can go?” Peter asked.

               May pretended to think about it. “I suppose. If you promise to be good. No taking on supervillains. Or staying up past bedtime.”

               Peter was already bounding to his room to start packing. “I’ll be good, Aunt May, promise! I’ll be so good! The best!”

               May chuckled. “You already are, Spider-man.”

A sleek black car pulled up outside Peter’s apartment early the next morning. He couldn’t see through the tinted windows, but there was no doubt in his mind that this was one of Mr. Stark’s cars.

               A quick goodbye to May later, Peter was getting in the car. Part of him had been expecting Happy to jump out and open the door for him, but the window rolled down and over the purr of the engine and blaring AC/DC came Mr. Stark’s voice from the driver’s seat, “Come on, kid, we can’t afford to be late.”

               “Happy isn’t taking us?” Peter asked. He’d never admit it, and he knew Happy wouldn’t either, but he was pretty sure they were actually getting along really well.

               Tony smiled, a different kind of smile, like he wasn’t quite sure of himself. “I figured we could go it just the two of us,” he said. “If that’s okay.”

               “Yeah,” Peter grinned. “That’s cool.”

               It was really cool. Mr. Stark had sort of become like a father to Peter. A rich, famous, awkward, bad-at-feelings, superhero father, but a father nonetheless. And if Tony wanted to spend time with Peter? Maybe Peter had become like a son.

               The thought made him glow.

               They talked about Peter’s school, and Miami, and how great it would be to escape the ever-dropping temperatures, and listened to music too loud and bought ice cream and got a parking ticket (“I’m so sorry Mr. Stark I’ll pay for it I swear!” “Kid. Seriously?”), and while it wasn’t a regular road trip, Peter didn’t think he’d ever had a better one.

               Tony handed the car over to the hotel valet and their luggage to the bellhop. Peter had never been in a fancy hotel before. He wondered if they were all like this, or if he was just getting special treatment because he was with Tony Stark. Either way, it was pretty cool.

               “Expo isn’t until tomorrow,” Tony explained while Peter gawked at the luxurious sweet they would be staying in, “so tonight’s for doing whatever you want, kiddo. I mean…Pete. Peter.”

               “Cool,” Peter said absentmindedly. He didn’t notice Tony’s little slip; he was too enraptured with exploring the bathroom he was pretty sure was bigger than his entire apartment. “I mean, uh, yeah,” he cleared his throat, “cool.”

               “I think there’s an arcade downstairs,” Tony suggests. “Or we could go find the pool.”

               Peter has remembered to pick his jaw up off the floor now, but is still staring, wide-eyed, at the art pieces that adorn the walls of the hotel room, and not really hearing a thing that’s being said.

               “That sounds good,” Peter says, still distracted.

               He only realizes what he’s agreed to once he’s standing on the small tiles of the pool’s edge, clad in a pair of swim trunks May must have packed in his bag, and being suffocated by the strong scent of chlorine.

               They’re the only people here, and Tony has already dived into the water, and he looks very happy, instead of being terrified and looking for the nearest exit like one other particular person in the room.

               “Come on, Pete!” he calls. “The water is nice!”

               Peter’s throat tightens. “Um, I- uh,” he stammers, trying to think up some sort of excuse, but Mr. Stark is waiting for him, eyes twinkling and water dripping from his dark hair, and Peter doesn’t want to disappoint him so he makes his way forward on shaking legs.

               He crouches by the very edge of the pool, despite the thousand alarms going off in his head, and Tony swims over to him.

               “Come on,” Tony says again, reaching out for Peter’s arm. Peter freezes when water droplets make contact with his bare skin.

               Tony, still smiling, unaware of how close to hyperventilating Peter is, takes a gentle hold of his arm, and tugs. It’s meant to be gentle, an attempt to coax him, and it is, really, except that Peter isn’t very focused right now and it’s enough to send him over the ledge into the water.

               The temperature is uneven, a swirl of cold and warm, separate, but still mixed, and the water is wet and it’s everywhere and it’s heavy, why is does it feel heavy, and why is there no air, why can’t he breathe, he’s thrashing, sinking, why won’t his body swim, the breath leaves him in a stream of bubbles, where’s the air, he can’t breathe—

               A strong pair of hands pulls him back up to the surface.

               “Mr. Stark,” Peter manages between coughing up water and sucking in air, “I’m sorry, I—”

               “It’s okay,” Tony says, and in true Tony Stark fashion starts rambling, “it’s okay, Pete, just breathe. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I shouldn’t have pulled you into the water like that, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you couldn’t swim—”

               “No,” Peter interrupts, “it’s not that. It’s not that, it’s…ever since that one time, with the Vulture, he dropped me into that lake, and I thought I was gonna die, Mr. Stark, and I would have if you didn’t come and save me, and ever since then, the water just…scares me.”

               And just like that, Tony is scooping him up like he’s a little kid, and carrying him out of the pool room. He gives Peter a towel to dry off, and looks at him, with his hands on Peter’s shoulders.

               “How come you never told me?” Tony asks.

               Peter can breathe better now that he’s away from the water, and he is silently glad Tony knew what he needed to make him feel better. He’s not glad about the guilty look that paint’s Mr. Stark’s face, Mr. Stark isn’t—Tony isn’t supposed to like that.

               Peter shrugs. “It’s not your fault, Mr. Stark. I guess it just never really came up.”

               “Will you tell me next time? If there’s ever something bothering you, I want to help.”

               A nod.

               “Well,” Tony says, straightening and moving to stand, “that’s certainly enough swimming for tonight. Or forever. What do you say we go back up to the room and watch a movie instead? I think we can probably pay-per-view Star Wars or something.”

               “That sounds great,” Peter grins. He means it this time.