#yeah i wrote this after seeing felps quote about richas

[amberizedcasey]

Diego heard once that you die two times, once when you die for real, and a second time when people forget about you. He swore to himself that he would never forget Lucie, so she would stay alive in his memories until the end. It was the least he could do.

He never had much, he carried half of his world in his backpack and he held the other half by the hand. It has always been just the two of them. Diego and Lucie. And that was enough for him.

Losing her was like losing part of himself. She was his best friend, his soulmate, his partner in crime. Without her he was just a broken piece of what was once a beautiful thing.

He blames Emi for that. He blames Carol. He blames Panacea. He blames the world. But mostly, he blames himself. He should have been there. He should have done something, anything. He just wasn't enough. And she died because of that.

Benito tried to tell him that yeah it was Carol's fault nevertheless but it was also Lucie's choice in the end. He calls him crazy, and worse things.

He can't believe it. She wouldn't sacrifice herself for a kid she had just met. She wouldn't be that stupid. She wouldn't leave him. She wouldn't die that way.

He knows deep down that he is wrong. He knew her better than everyone after all.

She had made her choice, and he should respect it. She was a hero, even if she didn’t believe in that, he knows that she probably didn’t, she would have made the same choice a million times over, she was ready to die, even if it wasn't fair.

And it wasn't.

He learns to forgive himself with time. He never hated Lucie for what she did. He tells her that. They never found her body and they couldn't really bury anything in a cemetery without raising suspicions, so they made her an altar at Luis's abuela home.

He tells her about everything. About his job at the taqueria. About Benito finally going to medical school. About Wallace II. And Wallace III. About Jeffrey learning to cook. About Luis' strange but effective Spanish classes. About Emi. He tells her a lot of things about Emi. He knows that she would like to hear about her the most, beside the usual gossip.

He never got a call back from her parents. He told her not to worry about it. Her real family was there with him, and they would keep her memory alive. They would remember her forever. The good, the bad, and the truth. She wasn't perfect by any means, she made many mistakes in life, and she would have probably continued to do so, but she tried, she really tried, and she was human, and that was enough.

He tells her that, at the end of every conversation, he knows that she had trouble believing in herself, he also knows that it is silly to try to bust a dead person's self esteem but he does anyway. She was his best friend. She will always be his best friend. And until they meet again he will keep her alive in every step he takes and choice he makes.