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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: pick me up Joe: rude you clearly did without me Joe: but I'll be able to do a twofer, yeah 👌 Joe: send your distress signal so I know where to point Ronnie: [wherever she's been working for a hot sec, I dread to think lol] Joe: you making a complaint about their cold-calls in person? Joe: tick off initiative on your CV Ronnie: my sides have split & it aint fuck all to the piss poor stitching Joe: see how far we can stretch your guts either side of you, fun Joe: did you self-sew or see one of your gun-wielding pals? different principle tats and triage Ronnie: then you can play a round of guess how much of this blood is mine, get yourself proper going Joe: too kind, stop me from charging the going rate for a while yet 🚖 Joe: what office supply did you use though Joe: if you were too cliche, you are going to have to sit up front and talk to me, proper cabbie punishment Ronnie: everything got nicked day 1 baby they werent about to waste any staples keeping shit on desks Ronnie: phone & a script is your lot Joe: there any drug we can act like anyone's calling it oscar on the street? Joe: you fully Joe Pesci'd someone with the phone, yeah? 👏 Ronnie: any gear that should go straight in the bin Ronnie: call it oscar Joe: you are wasted on 0 hour contracts, my dear Ronnie: not wasted enough for em Joe: join me at your local overpriced shit coffee dealer Joe: our bathrooms couldn't pass a piss test but they all only want the ⬆pers Joe: 💔 Ronnie: ill have an escort if you dont get a fucking move on Ronnie: you got enough student spends to feed coffee & doughnuts to the full force yeah Joe: say lucky you but security guards got as many hairs on their head as they got IQ points Joe: lot down Soho are decent conversationalists, unlike Daz and Gaz Joe: I did just get this terms though so hold on and you can help me 🔥 through it Ronnie: i dont get turned on by einstein & his pals mckenna thats your wank fuel Ronnie: easiest way to get a cunt off my back is to put him on his Joe: he only banged his cousin, that's nothing to waste energy on Ronnie: 💔 none of your cousins look enough like your mam for you Joe: why do you think i was searching Joe: daring to dream Ronnie: give a fuck about your nancy drew fantasies Ronnie: that schoolgirl shit is tapped Joe: the catholic schoolgirl uniforms have been overstated Joe: not all that in person, be the review Joe: nuns though, yeah Joe: enough mild peril to manage Ronnie: charlie will be gutted youve switched from homos to dykes Joe: you're the only one who's guts I wanna play around Joe: I'll break it to him nicely Joe: doughnuts, yeah Ronnie: consolation hole Ronnie: youve had shitter ideas Joe: it was yours, in fairness Joe: dunno about offering up my hole to every bloke at the met but if I put my foot down shouldn't be an issue Ronnie: i dont reckon a consolation footjob is gonna cut it Ronnie: not my first offence Joe: giving away how highly you think of my 🍑 Joe: what happened then, beyond telemarketing being worse than shitting out razorblades Ronnie: you wish you had 1 whitey Joe: says you Ronnie: if i had any curves theyd be cut off by now Joe: junkie chic before the habit Joe: some girls have all the luck Ronnie: lucky i need your bullshit heroics for this or id send you on a fools errand to sleuth the pieces out of landfill Joe: white knight > jester Joe: not my usual style, but for you I'll make an exception Ronnie: unless youre gonna say your horse fucking girlfriend dressed you the other night ive already seen it like Joe: you think her thing is budget kurt cobain? Joe: or that she's blind Ronnie: be blind by now if you catholics arent full of shit about touching yourself too much Ronnie: homesick for the horse & rejected by you Joe: what do you think its called Joe: my bets are on some boy band member she fancied when she was 11 and daddy was gutted Ronnie: or the 1st lad she wanted to meet round the back of the bike sheds Joe: you're such a romantic Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: im thinking like a basic white bitch from kent or wherever the fuck you said Joe: you do it well Joe: no way her school had anything common like bikesheds though so knocking a point off Joe: getting fingered on the hellipad is more voyeuristic but has less of a charm about it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: shes gonna be charmed by the namedrop Joe: return the favour Joe: she's making me help her with her coursework Ronnie: plaster cast of your cock and then what Ronnie: tell her you aint no hendrix & its been done Joe: charlie wishes, whitey Joe: I'll cc 'em both in about my disappointing dick Ronnie: ill pass on gaz & daz numbers Joe: god I hope the plaster ain't dried Ronnie: god aint listening to you nancy Joe: adds up Joe: that kind of dad, technically always keep an eye but going in one ear and out the other Joe: 💔 woe is me Ronnie: irish catholics aint got fuck all going on between the ears she werent in it for that Joe: fucked me up with her shit genetics then Joe: you manage to get a pen? Joe: shove it in my ear and dig it out Ronnie: pull it out of my neck & you can stick it where you like Joe: we'll let the blood piss out 'til it feels right Ronnie: im the romantic Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright, you need to be conscious to woo me Ronnie: couldve fooled me Joe: dead girls pale in comparison Joe: 💘 Ronnie: the boners you lot have got for open caskets over there i dont reckon youve ever seen a dead girl the proper colour Joe: just said you were #1 but you've got to be 1 and only, yeah? Ronnie: in your fever dreams mckenna Ronnie: i aint looking that much like your ma however much slap i put on Joe: you're prettier than her Ronnie: now you want me to drink bleach instead of having a bath in it Ronnie: make up your fucking mind like Joe: just knew that would wind you up Joe: gotta bring out some cliches Joe: you're perfect just the way you are, you know Ronnie: drop dead Joe: god willing Joe: he's being fucking slow about it, despite my best efforts Ronnie: ill give it my best shot if you keep on Joe: another one for the cv Ronnie: find it written in my blood shit & bile on this wall Ronnie: thats your girlfriends coursework aced for her Joe: beats the lecture I'm skipping out on by miles Ronnie: no shit none of em are dressed like nuns Joe: none of 'em hate me like you either Joe: so damn likeable, its a curse Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about all your teachers trying to pet you Ronnie: childhoods over golden boy Joe: and all without me getting molested once Joe: by any nuns or teachers anyway Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: why youre such an annoying cunt Joe: abuse really humbles you, does it Joe: builds character Ronnie: gives you something to properly cry about Joe: got nothing on the shit my brain can make up Joe: idle hands and all that Ronnie: yeah youre so special baby Joe: it's just being mental or not Joe: if you ain't, you can go through whatever fucked up shit and be alright still Joe: if you're mental nothing even needs to happen and you'll be worse off Joe: some of us ain't got a chance from conception Ronnie: tell me something i dont know Ronnie: poster child for not having a fucking chance & any mental problems they wanna attach Joe: you better pay for more ad space Joe: call it karma, or dodgy genetics Joe: but I make a great case for abortion Ronnie: like i said before not one that needs to be put to me Ronnie: had more of em than youve had misery boners Joe: won't make you tell me about 'em Joe: no way you'd be as descriptive as the furious pro-lifers who act like the baby is fit to crawl out when you kill it Ronnie: hot Ronnie: shouldve called 1 of em to pick me up instead Joe: condemnation and loathing is meant to be my thing Ronnie: sharings meant to be your thing too yeah? Joe: only when it's inadvisable Ronnie: only when you wanna Joe: if you got to play oldest you'd know that's sadly untrue Ronnie: stuck being the cliche middle kid between fitz & the other one Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: seeking attention and approval because you're overlooked and under-appreciated? Joe: it's why 3 is a good number, any more and you've got multiple middle kids Joe: maybe I don't wanna fuck my mum, just missing all 3 of my own so much 🙄 Ronnie: they wish anyone could overlook me Ronnie: & you deffo do wanna fuck her so thats shit on your thesis Joe: yeah, sounds just like them Joe: suits you Joe: like the basic white bitch thing Ronnie: go fuck your mam Ronnie: im too tired for this Joe: you won't have no early start tomorrow sound of Ronnie: didnt have an early start today Ronnie: thats what kicked off this bullshit Joe: fair enough Joe: who wants a cold call at 7am Ronnie: the cunt who runs the place will be getting 1 off me til he pays me Joe: lucky him Joe: might wanna stay in your debt longer, romantic that you are Joe: attention very flattering Ronnie: what im hearing is i should tell his missus some fucking fairytale about the attention he was giving me Ronnie: everyonell be made up with the lie Joe: could do Joe: like your flair Joe: or I could come in, tell him you're mental and that he didn't make adequate allowances for you but now you're too traumatized to come back so he should just pay and we won't have to sue Joe: might get damages on top Ronnie: who are you my fucking school age carer like Joe: i'm believable, and more palatable than you outwardly Joe: anyway i look older Ronnie: than what 12 Joe: you have a baby face Joe: i look like i've not slept in as many years Joe: which is pretty accurate, as it goes Ronnie: do i fuck Ronnie: i look like ive shaken a baby to death Joe: child on child crime Joe: shocking headlines there, like that scottish girl who was fucked then got out and was someone's gran like she didn't kill a toddler Ronnie: see how palatable you are when I kick your teeth in Joe: it's a curse Joe: if you wanna lift it and be my hero instead of it being this way 'round Joe: love you forever, like Ronnie: ill lift your wallet fuck the rest Joe: already offered you my money Joe: not even a challenge, soft touch Ronnie: like youve ever been challenged soft lad Joe: go on Ronnie: youre already going on loads Joe: bet you've never heard about the traffic in this city, have ya Ronnie: fuck it ill go lay in it Joe: 😍 Ronnie: save the pillow talk for when youre offering me somewhere else to sleep Ronnie: would let you fuck me for entry to horse girls en suite if theres a bath in it Joe: where's your bed gone Ronnie: its got a hysterical homo in it whos only gonna get himself in more of a fanny flap cause ive been sacked Ronnie: ill take the wreckage of a 4 car pile up or whatever Joe: gotcha Joe: how long 'fore he calms it Ronnie: how long are you offering to spend buying him drinks & cupping his balls Joe: i get it Joe: you wanna wifeswap Joe: not just her art assignment you're interested in Joe: but you can just take my bed, I'm always falling asleep on the sofa or up the table and she'll relish at more chance to watch me sleeping Ronnie: your room got a 🔒 Joe: yeah but you're alright, it's on the inside Joe: not going to get fritzl about it Ronnie: youd need more than that to keep me in Ronnie: which youd know if you were earning off dealing with my mental problems Joe: not giving you a challenge either, don't get hysterical yourself like Ronnie: you couldnt like Ronnie: bigger pussy than your basic white girlfriend Joe: oh god stop talking about it Joe: i'll be sick Ronnie: no stomach for any kind of challenge Joe: you crack on Joe: i'll stick to 🍩 Ronnie: not so needy for some clean piss that ill be licking her out for it Joe: you should write this song for me Ronnie: whats in it for me Ronnie: got all your spends on a promise as is Joe: the fame and full writing credits, obviously Ronnie: fuck off obviously Joe: that's how we know you're not really a middle kid Ronnie: more shit you can come at your ma with Joe: I'll save it for the next holiday Ronnie: 💘 Joe: what about your dad Ronnie: i dont reckon hes up for another go on her if youre there watching Joe: 💔 Joe: i meant do you know what happened to him Joe: you might have more interesting half brothers out there, what I'm thinking Ronnie: got no interest in little fucking kids Joe: so you do know Joe: did he come find you or what Ronnie: dont get jealous nance Ronnie: did it myself like Joe: he meet your expectations Ronnie: what kind of fucking soft shit is that Ronnie: get a grip mckenna he aint rich Joe: a no would suffice Joe: though it's adorable you really kicked it like Annie over it Joe: you could've said you had none, or you expected him to be dead or worse, a useless cunt Ronnie: why would i say fuck all to you about it Joe: too painful too private Joe: gotcha Ronnie: wank over your own parents when i aint waiting Joe: the fact you've not implied I'd prematurely cum in my pants Joe: you're so full of hope it's equal parts inspiring and worrying Ronnie: get out of my face before i kick yours in Ronnie: everyone who aint gone blind can see youre a virgin Joe: don't be jealous, sid Ronnie: you cant tell your older sister what to do baby Ronnie: that aint how this works Joe: it wasn't good ever Ronnie: course youre crying about that too Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: just trying to ease your jealousy Joe: anyway, you'll be pleased to know the lacklustre results were down to my lack of trying, not theirs Ronnie: 1 less dose of the clap & i might still be fertile now thats fucking worrying Ronnie: keep your status choir boy Joe: bit cliche far as fantasies go but alright Ronnie: you started it Ronnie: trying to make me feel special Joe: no need to try is there Ronnie: not now my gag reflex has been triggered Joe: like that ain't been decimated by now too Ronnie: youre learning Ronnie: your teachersll be made up Joe: hope for the molestation yet? Joe: nice Ronnie: ease your 💔 & limp dick Joe: calm down Joe: might get attached Ronnie: do your grades the world of good Joe: you wanna help me with my homework? Ronnie: youre that shit in the sack you still wont get an a after giving your teachers a going over Ronnie: unlucky like Joe: so you can help me Joe: what else you gonna do whilst you're hiding from charlie Ronnie: use your imagination Joe: no need Joe: you'll be sharing Ronnie: cant stop you kicking the door in Ronnie: its yours Joe: just the needle, not the bed, like Joe: you're fine Ronnie: yeah youll be between horse girls sheets Joe: don't reckon she's strong enough to carry me Ronnie: only has to strap a saddle on Joe: 😂 Ronnie: fuck knows what she would fill your nose bag with Joe: the surprise is the fun part Ronnie: dont come crying to me when its oscar Joe: if she was half as interesting as you're making out, might stand a chance of working Joe: as it goes, probably be granola Ronnie: stick her thatll make her more your type Joe: come on Joe: she don't look a thing like my mother Ronnie: fucks sake when shes under get a 🔪 Ronnie: do your best like Joe: i keep telling you i'm not one for trying Ronnie: trying not to cry is as far as it goes yeah Joe: even my kiddy medicine cuts that shit off Joe: ain't been able to since I was 12 Joe: not that there was much call for it, my perfect life with mummy dearest Ronnie: the other week before you met me then Ronnie: gutted i broke your streak Joe: you sure you ain't interested in little fucking kids Joe: rearrange that sentence and Freud is having a field day Ronnie: make the effort to get here before i start to rot Ronnie: not trying to make that cunts day or yours Joe: you'd have liked him Ronnie: he rich off peddling that bullshit to the masses Joe: yeah and he reckoned cocaine was the cure for heroin addiction so he really knew a good time Ronnie: sounds like my not boyfriend Joe: oh yeah? Joe: well his grandson was cooler Joe: he fucked kate moss when he was like 70 Ronnie: anyone written a song about that Joe: maybe pete did Joe: he was a painter though so he painted her with her kit off, obviously Joe: reckon it's free for us to give it a crack Ronnie: your girlfriend painted you yet or what Joe: she wants to Ronnie: no shit mckenna Ronnie: every cunt there nearly fucking went arse over tit in the puddle she was sat in at that gig Joe: so that's what that sticky feeling was Ronnie: her juices or charlies Joe: that's called mixed media Joe: potential bio-hazard for her profs though Ronnie: worst theyre gonna get off her is thrush Ronnie: never met a bitch so clean Joe: yeah Joe: boring Ronnie: i told you to kill her last time you started being a baby about it Joe: you can have homicidal, sis Joe: boring but harmless Ronnie: cocaines harmless after heroin you & freud are still pussy enough to call it a party Joe: why it's a cure Joe: get you from comatose to semi-functioning Ronnie: she could be a cure too Ronnie: cold turkey Joe: weren't searching for a cure Joe: am i coming in or are you coming out Joe: can't see you Ronnie: cause youre comatose Ronnie: gutted this ex boss aint a cokehead Joe: not far off Joe: he your not boyfriend or is that just what we're telling the wife Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: he couldnt fund your baby habit nevermind mine Joe: we going there first then Ronnie: yeah Joe: if we get your wages, we don't have to Joe: [come in boy] Ronnie: [a look like go on impress me by getting these wages boy] Joe: [when you can give it social worker chat 'cos what Tess does and the whole beeline of it all like you can be convincing enough that he's breaking some kind of equality law by sacking her without pay lol] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph even if she won't let you know she's impressed and also lowkey triggered by that social worker energy] Joe: [honestly, lbr this man surely just wants you gone, won't take too much persuading] Ronnie: [literally and he's clearly in some way shady if he's 1. employed her and also 2. not called the police on her rn] Joe: [no leg to stand on sir, love this shakedown for you] Ronnie: [I bet they're all illegals and people being exploited] Joe: [its a mood, as in happens all the time esp. in cities, least you can hit him up again lads, long as he don't get y'all beaten up or something lol] Ronnie: [tbf if you do get beaten up that's a mood too] Joe: [yeah, when they find out you are not social and just taking their money lol] Ronnie: [love a scam] Joe: [the kind of nonsense have your mother rolling in her grave she's not in, love that we're starting that now] Ronnie: [I approve of the vibe, start as you mean to go on lads, all before you've made his poor flatmate wanna die lol] Joe: [poor gal did not ask for you as a flatmate let alone all this lol] Ronnie: [do you wanna skip to like when she's back and Ronnie's in his room or whatever because easy way to keep the convo going without needing it to be face to face] Joe: [works for me henny] Ronnie: [your turn to start boo] Joe: doubt she'll leave her room any time soon now Ronnie: 💔 Joe: yeah poor girl Joe: saying you got free reign, if you need anything Ronnie: i had it before Ronnie: not scared of her like Joe: nah Joe: what about charlie then Joe: or you just don't wanna upset him Ronnie: yeah terrified Ronnie: well sleuthed nancy Joe: that he'll get sick of you, maybe Ronnie: i fucking told you we aint the kind of family who get rid Joe: yeah Ronnie: dont project onto me Ronnie: we aint nothing alike Joe: i'm the one sick of them Joe: if anything Ronnie: yeah & he aint fuck all like you either Joe: I can see that Ronnie: youve seen him once dont flatter yourself Joe: and it's that obvious Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what? Joe: i only need to know one half the equation to know we're not the same Joe: it's a compliment to him if fuck all else Ronnie: give it to him then Ronnie: hell lap it up Joe: i told you it's nice Joe: what you lot got Joe: but i'm not looking to get in on it if that's what you reckon Ronnie: take what you want pussy Joe: that's not your thing? Ronnie: what we cant both do it Joe: potentially Ronnie: dont remember you having any hesitation to share a needle Ronnie: grow a pair when youre not getting shot up Ronnie: maybe the dayll come when i dont have to spoon feed you the gear like a fucking kid Joe: i'd have to work out if i want anything but first Ronnie: yeah Joe: is it all you want Joe: the heroin Ronnie: mind your fucking business Joe: alright Joe: do you want to do my next tattoo or what Ronnie: i said take what you fucking want Joe: [come through with ink you've undoubtedly stole from your flatmate, also being more spacey/twitchy than normal like distract me gal] Ronnie: [love how old school & gross we're kicking this tattoo situation unlike when Ali does it] Joe: [which is absolutely the point, how your arms and legs don't fall off lol] Ronnie: [their other ones probably wouldn't have even healed yet cos lbr it's gonna be no time in between these interactions] Joe: [just loads of lowkey open wounds, like that isn't life anyway] Ronnie: [mhmm they'd be fucked already too cos they are so itchy when they are healing and y'all don't have chill] Joe: [all the reason for constant touch ups/ messing with so it casually never heals #mood] Ronnie: [I didn't think of that but I stan] Joe: [casual metaphor for your everything lads] Ronnie: [you know you can do anything to her tattoowise yourself Joseph she don't care] Joe: [probably doing some weird repitition moment you'd usually do on yourself which will be painful af excuse you] Ronnie: [she do love the pain you're fine] Joe: [good thing too, we're just here fucking each other up like this ain't gonna go anywhere else lolllllll] Ronnie: [way more #into it than I should be considering I don't even like when people shout lol] Joe: [you babby, they are not, obviously we're getting and taking drugs even if she's too naive to know why they're in such a state, maybe they can make a dealer come to them when they're feeling fancy/have already had loads lol] Ronnie: [take a moment to appreciate how few clothes she is wearing rn and how much that means this poor gal can and would see like we've got track marks and self harm scars for days even before you start on the tattoos lol, you're gonna get clued in before she leaves hen] Joe: [honestly props for not running home screaming tbh babe] Ronnie: [especially when this dealer comes because he ain't Drew like he should be scary af] Joe: [lowkey makes you work for it even when you're paying 'cos hates junkies] Ronnie: [at least she can basically fuck him in full view for Joe's benefit because the vibe is already there haha] Joe: [i truly love thinking about what the hell you're telling the flatmate when she leaves, she's not that stupid, also must fancy you if she doesn't report you immediately lol] Ronnie: [she definitely does that's not just Ronnie's bpd jealousy shining through like did you tell her you were related after the gig or what even Joseph what's the narrative] Joe: [also, entirely unrelated, when you bleaching your hair 'cos it looks so much better lol, anyways, he's probably had to go with a troubled sister narrative 'cos she's the type to be sympathetic and it makes sense why he'd deal from her pov] Ronnie: [that's gonna make the obvious sexual tension awkward but yeah I vote they definitely do it while she's staying because same vibe as the tattoo sesh so] Joe: [ikr, when you're blatantly fucking this will be very confusing, you should deffo only be about 1st year lol] Ronnie: [are you gonna give him another different flatmate in year 2 or like none?] Joe: [maybe for year 2 on you can still have some like a house share moment but he's the one you never see and has nothing to do with you] Ronnie: [that works definitely cos like I was just thinking how could he afford somewhere on his own] Joe: [yeah, even if we're technically employed whilst in uni by the orchestra, it's not gonna be loads, and that's how London be even if you're not a student] Ronnie: [how long do we think she should stay for this time because obvs she's coming back again and again but] Joe: [hmm, like he isn't gonna tell her to go so it's on her for how long she can deal lol] Ronnie: [just cos I'm thinking she should leave because something happens/almost does and it freaks her out because she's meant to hate him and there's only so much you can play off as doing for shock value when you're blatantly into it] Joe: [that makes sense, clearly it ain't gonna take long for that to transpire] Ronnie: [yeah a few days is what I'm imagining, but like enough that she probably thinks nothing will happen because it hasn't so far, if that makes sense] Joe: [i'm with it] Ronnie: [how far do we wanna go is always the question] Ronnie: [okay idea time, hear me out hun, what if it's like an unexpectedly pure/cute moment by their standards that happens in the day to day because the obvious would be to have them go all in when they are fucked up but like think about it] Joe: [that's what I thought too though 'cos it's more impactful 'cos it isn't as if it's gonna start with a kiss when it does for real like it's all extra and them to cover that it's about anything but being fucked up, so that would shake you both] Ronnie: [so glad we're on the same page here, like I can't think of a good example of what I mean/think should happen but] Joe: [we know the vibe, doing something vaguely domestic before realizing what you're doing] Ronnie: [so she gotta run away and nobody is gonna know where she is or what she's doing for a bit soz Charlie & Bronson] Joe: [you wanna skip to that time period now, this hasn't been excessively long or anything[ Ronnie: [we totally can because we can always skip back/add it if we think of anything else we wanna do while she's there etc] Ronnie: [I've had a potential idea how to start this so neither of them technically has to bite the bullet and go first like if you give me a rough idea what kind of thing Charlie would say e.g where are you/are you dead bitch and I'll reply here like she's in the wrong convo lol] Joe: [that's a good idea boo, probably something like you can stop hiding now and an update about whatever the fuck he's up to in his life which you can make up you know the vibe lol] Ronnie: [I was just like realistically if they were both shook by what happened neither of them are gonna be like oh hey] Joe: [yeah like it'd take him a while even if he would 'cos not just gonna let this go that easy, so it's a solid way to do it] Ronnie: a real scouse ma's meant to shout down the street when its time to stop playing about Ronnie: lazy cunt Joe: I'm only half if I'm anything, and you probably won't give me that any rate Ronnie: 🖕 not talking to you Ronnie: got the wrong gaylord Joe: easy mistake Joe: you not got his number saved? Ronnie: if this was my phone yeah Joe: newly acquired then Ronnie: mine broke Joe: my condolences Joe: wall or pavement? Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter Joe: just making conversation whilst you're here Ronnie: if youve got something to say go ed Ronnie: but if youre gonna pussy out as per it got waterlogged Joe: you dying for the uni update like my ma is a top performance, cheers, like Joe: rice didn't work or you didn't fancy eating toilet water rice after Ronnie: loads in common me & her aint just a pretty face like Ronnie: dont know what kind of fucking 12 year old in a k hole at a festival you take me for mckenna Joe: yeah, it's a shame Joe: soph says save some for the 🐎s Ronnie: cold showers work better for misery boners than they do a suspected od but these fucking amateurs aint know jack shit obviously Ronnie: shame & shameful that is Joe: I'm a better sesh companion Ronnie: ill take the 🐴 Ronnie: whole or in bits Joe: seems the possessive type Ronnie: thats your bitch Joe: who I meant but I ain't claiming her Ronnie: bet shed be made up over a uni update Joe: bold of you to assume we haven't had many delightful lunch dates whilst you've been having cold showers Ronnie: give a fuck if youve been eating her out at any time of day Joe: yeah well I'm pretty gutted you've replaced me with another newbie Ronnie: stop fucking crying Ronnie: i aint running a nursery Joe: ain't the only one sounds of your reply Ronnie: fuck off Joe: reckon he's over you getting the sack now Ronnie: not everythings about that mary Ronnie: & he aint my keeper Joe: just your mum, I got the message Ronnie: he reckons he can baby me it aint the same thing Joe: he's older than you yeah Ronnie: youve got a sister other than me dont act like you cant get your head round it Joe: not really my M.O. Ronnie: special yeah Joe: she's got a dad and another brother happy enough to oblige Ronnie: i dont need to puke up my good time Joe: thought your stomach and nerve were meant to be stronger than that Ronnie: whatever you think about me is bullshit baby Joe: just what you've put out there Ronnie: & yours is heroics just warning you this aint no od like Ronnie: aint gotta press eject Joe: you're typing Joe: don't think anyone knows you well enough to commit to the impression here Ronnie: talking Ronnie: everyone knows idle hands are dangerous Ronnie: but that dont mean i gotta keep em busy typing Joe: yeah Joe: know the feeling Ronnie: its used to my accent & everything Ronnie: more than i can say for the live cunts here Joe: you in 💘 with your phone that's dead cute Joe: its worse when you're angry Ronnie: not in 💘 with kent Ronnie: your girlfriend proper missold it Joe: fuck off are you in kent 😂 Ronnie: fucked you over if you were gonna come carry me out again Joe: acting like you didn't ask Joe: if you're going to now, do it, like Ronnie: if you dump her back home who the fucks keeping the leccy on Joe: only got a baby habit ain't I Ronnie: what so youre carrying me out & dumping me where Ronnie: anywhere near & im taking your money shithead Joe: we don't need electric Ronnie: how will you get off on me wearing your mams face in the dark Joe: would hate to waste your hard work, obviously Ronnie: what hard work Joe: liberating my mums face from her skull Ronnie: be my pleasure Ronnie: all play Joe: alright then Joe: i'll be able to keep up Ronnie: big talk for a 12 year old virgin Joe: hiding it kent you can't talk or type about it Ronnie: im not fucking hiding Joe: yeah right Ronnie: plain sight baby Joe: 40 miles Ronnie: & Joe: if you wanna play, you're gonna have to give me another clue Joe: know if i'm getting warm Ronnie: [a blurry picture clue] Ronnie: 💘 Joe: they new friends or old Ronnie: waste of a question Joe: how many do i have left Ronnie: 39 but if you need that many dont fucking bother Joe: you don't wanna disappointed so bad Ronnie: you disappoint me by coming out the same hole Joe: that don't have to matter Joe: plenty have Ronnie: yeah but i aint met the rest of your happy family Joe: you wanna Ronnie: 38 now Joe: it could've been a statement Ronnie: was it Joe: 39 for you Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you wanted to go to the beach Ronnie: that a question or what soft lad Joe: ?* Ronnie: didnt know there was 1 Joe: it's a county you know Ronnie: how the fuck would i know that Ronnie: shut up Joe: do you wanna go to the beach Ronnie: i can drown you in the sink Joe: i didn't put you in the shower Joe: or your phone Ronnie: youd have been made up by how blue i went though Ronnie: well like a dead girl Joe: yeah? Joe: what's it feel like Ronnie: youll get your own go Ronnie: aint holding your hand forever like Joe: gutted Ronnie: you wont reckon so when you outgrow that baby habit Joe: i'd mind if you died Ronnie: give you something to cry about Ronnie: youd be fucking into it Joe: nah Joe: people who've got shit to mope on usually don't Joe: enjoy it too much don't I, can't be having it validated, takes the fun out Ronnie: most dont reckon a happy end would be cumming inside their ma Ronnie: youd enjoy having a reason to celebrate or trauma bond depending on her fucking take Joe: our mate freud would disagree Joe: she'd wear black for the rest of her life, if that's what you wanna hear Joe: but counting it as a question, 38 Ronnie: why the fuck would i wanna hear that Ronnie: be boss for her if she never shifted her bastard baby weight like Joe: 37 unless it's rhetorical Joe: i dunno what will make you feel better Ronnie: 38 wasn't a question in the first place you just counted it cause youre a cheating lil bitch Joe: what's the prize and why do you want it so much Ronnie: use your imagination fucks sake Ronnie: why do you always want your hand held Joe: waste of a question Joe: 'cos I'm such a mummy's boy duh Ronnie: if shed let you walk into the road i wouldnt be answering any of your pussy questions Ronnie: 💔 Joe: be a lot easier for all of us Joe: i'll throw myself in front of the tube, fuck up everyone's day Ronnie: ill pick myself up from kent then yeah Joe: oh so you've claimed selfish have you Ronnie: no shit nancy drew Ronnie: fitz is still crying that i 💉 you up Joe: bless Joe: you're not claiming what got me there Ronnie: cant i wasnt fucking there Joe: then don't feel guilty Ronnie: dont fucking flatter yourself Ronnie: could care less Joe: you who's trying Ronnie: taking away a question if youre gonna lie Joe: not 12, not a virgin, don't need you to hold my hand Joe: i wanted to and want to Ronnie: made up horse girl took it while i was away Joe: yeah Ronnie: get yourself checked for 🐴 aids or whatever Joe: could care less is right Ronnie: bullshit youll be gutted if you dick falls off before you put it in your ma Joe: talking about how much you do Ronnie: what are big sisters for Ronnie: ask the other one & hell stutter round how much i dont too Joe: it's not the same Ronnie: you aint special mckenna how many times Ronnie: let your ma feed you that bullshit Ronnie: & fuck knows what youve already caught from my blood Joe: bit late for warnings Ronnie: you had one first time we met like Ronnie: got eyes Joe: exactly Joe: i'm not gonna take the hint Ronnie: too subtle for you yeah Joe: if you think you could be any more blatant Joe: have fun trying Ronnie: i am Ronnie: kent dont know what hit it Joe: i bet Joe: where have you been but some strangers doss house then Joe: and that is a question Ronnie: fuck knows Ronnie: been a blur Joe: you know its about 1,500 square miles yeah Joe: remember one landmark Ronnie: you know youre only getting any fucking answers cause im coming down Joe: we don't have to play this game Joe: if you tell me where you are, you'll be picked up quicker and then you can get whatever you need Ronnie: [a location, lord only knows] Joe: alright Ronnie: for you getting high of your bullshit heroics Joe: if it makes you feel better that you need rescuing Ronnie: do i fuck Joe: then you just wanna see me Joe: either way Ronnie: shut up Joe: what's better for you? Ronnie: your money then your life Joe: very adam ant Joe: and can be arranged Joe: even though you don't have a horse or a car so I'm more of a highwayman than you Ronnie: i aint getting on your gilfriends horse i know where its been Joe: 😏 Joe: you can just admit she's more up for it than you Ronnie: admit youre fucking brain damaged Ronnie: let her be up for hand holding & playing house Joe: what are big sisters for Ronnie: beating the shit out of you Joe: look forward to it Ronnie: yeah youve missed me Joe: not afraid to say it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: no names & you can play it for any bitch Joe: thanks for the hot tip Joe: kill some time on this drive Ronnie: shouldve stuck your judy in the boot Ronnie: be eye spy & red car the whole fucking way Joe: haven't put the plastic sheet down Joe: 💔 short notice Ronnie: so torch it Ronnie: i know youve always got a lighter on you Joe: what gave it away Ronnie: ive got eyes baby Joe: try not to wear it on my sleeve though Ronnie: done a shit job there Joe: why do you show yours off Ronnie: whats the point of only feeling it on the inside Joe: doing it is feeling it on the outside Ronnie: im what they fucking made me they can look at it Joe: that makes sense Joe: yeah Ronnie: what the hell are you scared of Joe: I dunno Joe: doesn't feel like fear Joe: blending in or disappearing has always been preferable Ronnie: & you have the balls to reckon im hiding here Joe: it ain't hiding if no fucker's looking Joe: easier for them and me, like Ronnie: if you gave a shit about easier you wouldnt have looked for me Joe: it was last-ditch attempt Joe: see if you were the same, like all of them too Joe: or not Joe: and you're not Ronnie: cause she ditched me Joe: maybe Ronnie: i didnt have the luxury of blending in Joe: it's not a luxury Ronnie: not when you have it Ronnie: care kids dont Joe: not at all Joe: it was a necessity to not blow my brains out and all i ended up was cracked and wishing i had Joe: you didn't have a family to not belong in Ronnie: & you did em such a massive fucking favour by not ending it all yeah Ronnie: i dont know you or fucking care & i can tell youre desperate to Joe: if she can't get over you, and she never stuck around to know you Joe: it's fuck all to do with the person and everything to do with the label Joe: son, brother Joe: you're meant to care even if life is better or basically the same without Ronnie: good fucking thing i like downers Ronnie: youd ruin an e Joe: cheers Ronnie: get over her for fucks sake Ronnie: keep saying youre not 12 Joe: didn't have that luxury Ronnie: loads more cunts willing to fuck you over Ronnie: live a little like Joe: yeah that'll make it worth it Joe: dead inspirational Ronnie: try your other sister Joe: i'm sure she'd have even more helpful advice Ronnie: take it then Ronnie: ill kill you before i give you a reason to live Joe: you know i ain't fucking looking for one Ronnie: yeah Joe: you need anything Ronnie: i didnt tell you were to get fuck all out of it Joe: apart from a lift Ronnie: what do you reckon Joe: kk Ronnie: 💘 Joe: still not healed Joe: also looks like jobn now Ronnie: anything to make you feel special baby Joe: what I reckon Ronnie: i didnt reckon ocd made you that delusional Ronnie: but when you change it to say jobs youll blend right in Joe: not quite as fitting as when johnny did it Ronnie: whats your girlfriends name Joe: i'll find one to make it fit Joe: josie or jody maybe Ronnie: 💔 no decent gear has a girls name Joe: girls like to party not nod out Joe: gutted Ronnie: ive got a lads name i get why youre confused Joe: you didn't wanna change it Ronnie: you offering up the cash Joe: bit of a waste Joe: just for the paperwork Ronnie: yeah it is Joe: you dunno what to pick Ronnie: swear words aint allowed Joe: don't matter if you're just doing it, telling new people it's your name like Ronnie: not an underage tranny Joe: right Ronnie: bit fucking late now Joe: youre attached Ronnie: i dont care Joe: yeah Ronnie: not what i hate her for Joe: it's a lesser sin Joe: and not the worst name Ronnie: if thats your way of trying to namedrop the others, dont Joe: why would I Ronnie: i dont know you cant really answer why youd do fuck all Joe: i don't need to ask if you want to know them Ronnie: like their names are gonna tell me who they are Joe: like you care Ronnie: like thats ever stopped you Joe: I can't un-find you Joe: but I'm not going to force you to meet any of them or know any more than what's been said Ronnie: no fixed address remember Ronnie: cant make it much fucking easier for you Joe: no, you can't Ronnie: stop crying then Ronnie: you can do better than a car crash Joe: do better Ronnie: yeah like washing up on the beach Ronnie: keep every cunt guessing how you died Joe: see how many beaches I can end up on Ronnie: dead romantic Joe: you can have fun with the hacksaw anyway Joe: least I could do Ronnie: you dont owe me Joe: i do Ronnie: for what Joe: for finding you when you didn't want finding Ronnie: you got the wrong bastard Ronnie: loads of others would be made up Joe: would they? Joe: regardless, I did it for me Ronnie: fuck off trying to take selfish off me Joe: 😏 Ronnie: been a few days since ive used a phone as a weapon Ronnie: keep on if you want it chucked at you Joe: you've promised better than that Ronnie: course you cant last through the foreplay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: you fucking wish soft lad Joe: you wish i wished Ronnie: i fucking dont Joe: alright Ronnie: keep the 🕯🌹 for your girlfriend like Ronnie: fuck all i can do with soft Joe: lighters and poppies suit me better as well Ronnie: next tattoos then Ronnie: dont know if itll look like a poppy but fuck it Ronnie: ill cut it out if you dont like it Joe: even if we avoid the sleeve, still a lot of skin to ruin Joe: are you just going over now Ronnie: waste of a question Ronnie: theres fuck all you can do Joe: what, my scribbles weren't a masterpiece compared to your boyfriends Ronnie: told you get what you pay for mckenna Ronnie: & that i dont get hard for mozart & the like Joe: weren't gonna score a symphony on you but alright Joe: no touching Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you & your baby habit dont score Joe: just pays Ronnie: dead comforting when i get robbed & left in a kent ditch Joe: it'll be the nicest ditch you've ever been in Ronnie: squatters rights Joe: my bed ain't comfy enough Ronnie: its the fact that its yours making me wanna hang myself with a sheet Ronnie: should say its too soft like you though shouldnt i Ronnie: gutted i fucked that up like Ronnie: we were playing so nice Joe: yeah, goldilocks suits Ronnie: unless your hair has fallen out Joe: I've not pulled it out either Joe: or soph, like Ronnie: not enough like a mane for her Joe: 💔 Joe: if only she'd have known me a few years ago Ronnie: get the family album out shell be made up Joe: shed a tear over our lack of horse Joe: sympathy fuck is better than none yeah Ronnie: the lack of me will really get her going Ronnie: had the pity eye fuck soon as i showed up Joe: she's an empath, babe, why she's so good at art Joe: lack of you might be an issue for me though Ronnie: another word for nosy cunt Joe: undoubtedly Joe: if i could sum up what was wrong with me for her I would Joe: but guess she likes the guessing Ronnie: if she was scouse shed just fucking come out with it Joe: gobshites, yeah Ronnie: what you get for having girlfriends who aint even wool Ronnie: self hatred making you go posh about it Joe: my last actual girlfriend was Ronnie: & youre claiming her Joe: not still writing songs about her Joe: well, never was Ronnie: shell still be 💔 Joe: nah Ronnie: you keep her waiting this long or am i that special Joe: you don't even know how far you've gone from london Joe: you're nearly 2 hours away Ronnie: if youre sticking to the speed limit Ronnie: stop being a pussy Joe: meet me and the car in the next ditch over Ronnie: more hand holding for fucks sake Joe: more than that if you want that lift Joe: have to drag the car out and hotwire it Joe: scrape me off the windshield Ronnie: i told you to stop getting me & what im into Joe: maybe i'm trying really hard Ronnie: far as hurting yourself goes thats the shittest way to have a go Joe: 💔 too weak Ronnie: keep your limp wrists on the steering wheel Ronnie: i wanna get out of here Joe: 😏 Joe: in a bit then Joe: got speeding to do and if you won't shut up Ronnie: youd have to try harder to make me Ronnie: that aint fucking likely Joe: only have to ask Joe: not nice or nothing Ronnie: i dont ask for handouts theyre given to me on account of all those mental problems ive got Joe: wouldn't it be nice to be the one doing the charity work for once Ronnie: if thats the only high youre offering me turn the fuck around Joe: not that daft Ronnie: your ma tell you that Joe: loads Ronnie: her judgements for shit not getting rid of us both with a hanger Joe: agreed Ronnie: dont put a kid in her shed only keep that one too Joe: still raising the last one Ronnie: like thatd stop her Ronnie: no fucking time wasted Joe: she did stop Joe: hence the 9 year gap oopsie baby Ronnie: reckon shed know what causes it by then Joe: Ireland got to her I guess Ronnie: dead keen for my invite now Joe: put it across as a valid form of contraception Joe: chlamydia Joe: they'd go for it Ronnie: worked for me Joe: postergirl Ronnie: 💔 there was no need to sew myself up Ronnie: be more fun than whichever fuck gave me it Joe: god willing Ronnie: your catholic one would be dead willing Joe: you're thinking of the wrong over-zealous christian country Ronnie: not on the right drugs for that kind of bullshit thinking Joe: 🍄 Joe: look out for cowshit whilst you're waiting Ronnie: that determined for me to see the sights yeah Joe: can't waste such an opportunity Ronnie: 🖕 watch me Joe: kent only comes calling so many times, like Joe: your choice Ronnie: shell be taking you every time uni gives you time off Joe: i'm good for it Ronnie: its well cute that you reckon youve got any say Ronnie: possessive type i heard Joe: 😏 Ronnie: she changed the 🔒 on your room yet Joe: keep you in or out? Ronnie: reckon it ended at the pity eye fuck for me & her Joe: 💔 Ronnie: yeah Joe: i'll talk her 'round for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont need you to translate for me Ronnie: we got the money your carer role is over Joe: it's all in the eyes, I heard you Joe: not patronizing on your deep relationship Ronnie: shut up Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: & drive faster Joe: 👌 Ronnie: fucking hell i can see why shes fucking obsessed with you Joe: if you want chat Joe: definitely in the wrong place Joe: she don't need to know my ears aren't listening to hers Ronnie: she already knows you do what youre told without talking back Ronnie: like a battered wife Joe: anything for an easy 💀 Ronnie: youre coming to the right place for that Ronnie: but i wont tell her Joe: it's not a reportable crime Ronnie: im not a snitch & i can wear shades if she tries to eye fuck her way to finding fuck all out Joe: dunno if that's enough of a disguise but I don't care Joe: a habit, she could say something about that Joe: but the rest Ronnie: what rest Ronnie: you only want a habit Joe: speak for yourself Ronnie: im echoing you Ronnie: you fucking said it Joe: you know it's not true though Ronnie: youre full of shit yeah Joe: yeah Joe: you too if you wanna pretend about it Ronnie: i dont play pretend im not a fucking kid Joe: good Joe: then you know what's happening here Ronnie: [a picture or video of whatever is happening where she is, lord knows] Joe: you don't have to reciprocate, dickhead Joe: no need to try and make me crash Ronnie: thought youd grown a set of balls & had em drop while ive been here Ronnie: what it sounded like Joe: how olds the other one Joe: he looks younger than me Ronnie: didnt do a survey Joe: I mean your mate, I don't know his name Joe: not Charlie Ronnie: 17 Joe: he must've been a baby when you met, like Ronnie: whats your point Joe: ain't got one Joe: just wondering Ronnie: youre not his type Joe: he's not mine Ronnie: stop wondering then Joe: why? Ronnie: hes fuck all to do with you Ronnie: your mam didnt push him out Joe: not trying to get to know him over you Ronnie: then why do you care Joe: same age as my brother Joe: and the girl my parents took in, one of Joe: that's it Ronnie: here we fucking go Ronnie: you said you werent gonna do that Joe: you kept asking Ronnie: cause i dont want you fucking nonce my brother Ronnie: give a fuck about yours Joe: 'cos you think I would, alright Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: i dont know what youd do Ronnie: dont fucking know you Joe: well I'm straight and entirely uninterested Ronnie: youre also full of shit Joe: why do you give a fuck Joe: I'm only a year older, if I wanted to, I would Ronnie: why do i give a fuck that you lied to me or about him Ronnie: go ed & wonder about it Joe: it weren't a lie Joe: shit changes Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about them that aint gonna change Joe: fine Ronnie: fuck you Joe: also fine Joe: sorry, alright Joe: it means fuck all Ronnie: its not fine Ronnie: & it means im gonna be running comparisons in my head Joe: just forget about it Joe: of course they're all around my age ish, it don't mean you know any more about them Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: it don't matter Ronnie: cause you get to tell me what matters too yeah Joe: come on Ronnie: you dont or what to fucking do either Joe: then what Joe: I said it, I said sorry Joe: you do what you must Ronnie: go home & give horse girl your sorry Joe: fuck that Joe: you still need to get back to London and I'm nearly there Ronnie: i got here i can leave here Joe: bullshit Ronnie: you wish Joe: well I'm still coming Ronnie: i dont care Ronnie: youve been going on about how big it is Ronnie: stay the fuck away from me Joe: Jesus fucking christ don't be such a pussy Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: whatever Joe: this is going nowhere right now Joe: you know where to find me when you wanna actually do something about it Ronnie: your half arsed self destruction is going nowhere Ronnie: do something about that your fucking self instead of trying to bait me Joe: I'm still on my way Ronnie: kents full of real pussys you can save Ronnie: youll 💘 it Joe: I don't give a fuck, Ronnie Ronnie: why are you crying Ronnie: you fucked me over Joe: because this is a waste of time Ronnie: youre a junkie now get used to it Joe: at least I've got that Ronnie: youre welcome baby Joe: good luck finding decent shit in kent Ronnie: not going with you dont mean im staying here Joe: but I've got mine already Ronnie: you can have selfish Joe: I told you I was bringing more for you Joe: if you can get over it you can have your share Ronnie: ill take it over it not Ronnie: *or Ronnie: you cant fucking stop me Joe: say you want me to come then Joe: i know where you are, not the other way 'round Ronnie: youre the liar mckenna Ronnie: i dont want you to be anywhere Joe: then why should I come and share Joe: that's a question Ronnie: you love heroics Joe: [show up at this point] Ronnie: [what a fun little reunion that'll be] Joe: [so, we know the vibes but also do we wanna pitch it out] Ronnie: [we totally can for our own amusement/in case a moment or something happens again] Joe: [so obviously he gets there and she's gonna be fuming hens, yeah?] Ronnie: [she gonna fight him lol enjoy that random peeps] Ronnie: [but that works cos like if someone takes that seriously instead of realising we just flirting with each other then they gotta go] Joe: [go away for some alone time to take your drugs somewhere, we voting beach] Ronnie: [yeah because realistically nobody will be there at this o clock unless they are likewise up for shady shit so it works for them as well as being romantic for us because has she been to the beach before probably not] Joe: [so unintentionallly wholesome] Ronnie: [try not to freak out immediately about that this time lads] Joe: [or OD again] Ronnie: [or freeze to death because when are you ever dressed for the weather gal] Joe: [have to stay close purely for warmth whoops] Ronnie: [can't pretend you're angry enough to be at the other end of the beach its not that deep] Joe: [shame it'll be too late to get fish n chips or something beach related but you can skim stones] Ronnie: [I wonder if there's anywhere you could break into because always a mood] Joe: [on a lot of seafronts they have those shelter moments that are boarded up you know what I mean] Ronnie: [yeah that was what I had in mind] Joe: [was that tracy beaker when jess and that girl were snuggled in there and tracy thought it was a lad lollol] Ronnie: [I loved that bit] Joe: [soz i've forgotten your name but that whole character and vibe was a mood, buzzing for the show/movie whatever they're doing] Ronnie: [a child Tess mood 100%] Joe: [fosho fosho, you're gonna have to sleep on this beach/his car 'cos not letting you drive in that state for that long yet tah] Ronnie: [we all know you're gonna be snuggling and I'm here for it, maybe you can get fish and chips in the am/when you wake up] Joe: [for breakfast lol, get all the sugary snacks as well like candy floss doughnuts, casual binge here like neither of you clearly eats much day to day] Ronnie: [healthwise you've both got bigger problems so we can allow it] Joe: [sugar high, living for unintentional wholesomeness lol] Ronnie: [love the childlike vibe always] Joe: [when I go the hunstanton with the gals, which is like, scummy seaside vibes you know, there's always rides there, but also there was like a tattoo hut where you could get actual tattoos for like a fiver and it looks so dubious lol] Ronnie: [omg that is amazing and we must] Joe: [you could get piercings too which might have him do just to mess with it] Ronnie: [we know she already has so likewise not gonna resist getting another, the more extra the better though placement wise cos we do love to shock joseph with our endeavours] Ronnie: [whack a tit out casually or whatever like] Joe: [lmao, dreading these infections hens] Ronnie: [I went to margate and all I got was this lousy tat and a persistent infection, put that on a t-shirt] Joe: [shame they only do flashes gals] Ronnie: [get some DIYing happening lads, we know that kind of thing is flirting for you] Joe: [the tension at this point like you've actually shown loads of restraint even though the opposite seems true lol] Ronnie: [lowkey not what anyone would expect of you which is why I like it] Joe: [mhmm not actually all doom and gloom even if we say and pretend it or what would be the point] Ronnie: [they'd actually be having such a lovely time and when was the last time either of them did, I'm fine about it yep] Joe: [truly, it ain't just about the drugs or any of the 'fucked up ness' from the off and that's the tea no one else be seeing] Ronnie: [mhmm and it wouldn't last how it does if it was] Joe: [connection huns] Ronnie: [the TENSION on this car journey back like don't crash tbh] Joe: [at least you can play really loud music and pretend that's distraction enough] Ronnie: [and play with your new injuries] Ronnie: [lowkey bonding even more about your love of music though we see you] Joe: [mhmm, when it's not all classical obvs 'cos you aren't Rosaline] Ronnie: [probably drop her at Charlie's hun cos otherwise something is gonna happen] Joe: [hope you brought him some rock but i know you did not lol, go make friends again, you go think 'bout your life joseph] Ronnie: [probably stole him a postcard that you've written some bants on to slide under his door] Joe: [that's cute, hilarious over-sexual postcard as they always are] Ronnie: [yeah exactly and then he knows you're back so you can talk or whatever you're gonna do to clear the air] Joe: [that's this era in general we know the vibe]

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werewolfmagic · 5 years ago

Text

So, here's my playlist of my life as it has been so far. I may update it, but this is what every song on it means to me as of what was on it 30 June 2020.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9_zyjXfClT3ymeEbJNz-a3oWHgs_isWM

1. Lalasweet- So, this first area of the playlist is themed to be my foreign songs. This first one I first heard in college at Radford University. I spent a lot of my time in college walking around listening to music. This one means a lot to me because I can still feel myself walking around campus when I hear it. I see myself very clearly walking in front of the gym, heading to my sociology class in the morning with my fruity tea from Starbucks. I felt so calm back then, the pain from high school just evaporated as I listened to this song.

2. PEEP SHOW- So, this song took a lot of effort for me to find after I first heard it in college. It was written in characters and I couldnt for the life of me get it translated so I could find it on YouTube. But hey, here it is. I sang this song and the previous song to myself a lot as I walked around campus. The same image appears in my head whenever I listen to it.

3. Crossing Field- This one is a trip for me. So, Sword Art Online was my first anime way back when in high school. This is the first opening song to it. This song also got me into listening to japanese music! Sword Art still holds a special place in my heart. I actually read nearly all the books that have been published, and I've seen so much of it. Another sword art song is actually later in the playlist, and it captures more of how the anime makes me feel. This song and this anime mean so much to me. A lot of good came from anime for me.

4. Kakumei Dualism- I've never seen what this is from. But, in high school while I had to wait on my dad to pick me up, this was the first song I learned how to sing in Japanese. So, I couldnt ride the bus because people were dicks to me. I wouldnt get a seat, people would push me around and generally be assholes. So I waited in the lobby for my dad to pick me up after work every day. He got off around 5 usually, and school ended around 3:30, so I had time to kill. This song got me into trying to learn Japanese and learning how to sing!

5. Bye Bye Yesterday- Ahhhh this anime omg! The ending made me cry so hard I would highly recommend watching it. I used to listen to all of the songs from it on my way to therapy in college, so I learned how to sing this as I walked the 1 and a half mile walk I believe it was once every week after I got out of the hospital. This song and this anime give me so many good feelings and good memories.

6.Masayume Chasing- Again, great Japanese song from an amazing anime I love! I listened to this in my room a lot after my dad picked me up. I remember crying a lot while this song was on, I felt so isolated and alone. This song was beautiful to me though, and it got me into listening to BoA. I spent so many hours listening to her music in high school and college!

7. RE:make- This band was just epic to listen to. I forgot I ever found them, I just remember like jamming out to their music once I found them, and when I lost spotify premium, I sorta stopped listening to a great band.

8. Bloody Mary: I got into two bands because if Noragami. Helli Sleepwalkers was one. I used to sing Bloody Mary so often I still think I have it memorized. I sang it to myself in high school and in college, it's practically a mantra now. More on Noragami in a bit.

9. Let me hear- This is from another anime, Parasyte. Great anime, but I honestly like the band more than the anime. Two of my closest friends in high school, Rachael and Maria, I showed this song to them. I still remember sitting in Rachael's room with them, showing them this song. More on both of them when we get to some association songs, there's a lot.

10.Wagakkiband- Great band, I discovered them in high school. I actually dont know what my favourite song by them is, I cant read kanji so I could never find it. I just cried a lot to their music in high school. I would turn it up so my dad couldn't hear my cry, and I would just sob for hours.

11. History Maker- I'm not sure why, but this has always been a hopeful more lovey song to me.

12. Everything- This song means a lot to me. I discovered this band through Noragami too, I loved that anime I read so much of the manga too because season 3 still isnt out. The oral cigarettes got me through a lot, and I mean a lot. I've always actually wanted someone to sing this song to. It's a love song, I've memorized it so I can sing with the song. I've always dreamed of one day singing this to someone who means everything to me. If you ever get the chance to translate it, this song defined how I viewed love for a while. I still hope one day i can sing this song to that special someone,I just hope I get the chance to.

13. Anohona- This is a real cry song for me. Whenever I felt worthless, i would listen to this. The anime is a real tearjerker too. The line "Something must be wrong with me" resonates with me to this day. People who love each other drifting apart, and blaming yourself for it. I cried to this song for countless hours, I really feel like it defined me for so long. I'm actually listening to it as I write this and I'm already crying because of it. It just always makes me feel like there truly is something wrong with me.

14. God knows- This is a song like Everything. I really want to sing this for someone who means the world to me one day, I've practiced it so much! I hope one day I get the opportunity to sing this to who I truly love. Honestly, this feels like a song for someone who is struggling. I wish i could sing it to my love when she truly needs it most. Because yeah, "I will follow you, no matter what we go through." If you listen to this song love, please know that I feel it could mean something to you too.

15. Catch the moment- this is the other sword art song. I got to watch the movie this came from with my dad. It's one of the last things we did together before we drifted apart when I came out. We went to a super fancy restaurant that night, i had vietnamese food for the first time, and i watched an amazing movie with my dad. I really treasure that memory, and I always will. More on my dad later on.

16. Bebe- Time to change themes. These songs relate to my music career in highschool. I was in marching band, jazz band, and concert band. I played Alto Sax. I always worked towards playing this song. I got the Jimmy Dorsey Sax guide as a Christmas gift from my aunt. And I used it to get better. I never could make it to this level though. I always worked towards it but I fell short. My best in this song was the first few lines of music with no mistakes.

17. String of Pearls- My sophomore year in high school, I played the sax solo from this. It's the performance I'm most proud of. It took a lot of effort, and I fucked up when I finally did it, but I'm really proud of myself for accomplishing what I did. It made me really happy to get to do this solo.

18. Law and Order- I learned to play this on sax too! I actually wanted to perform it in concert, but I was never allowed to. This show means a lot to me. Growing up, I used to sit with my dad and watch it with him. This was way back in elementary school when we did this, and I have a lot of fond memories of watching this show with him and talking with him. It felt like we never really spent enough time together.

19. Pink Panther- I would say this song is what I'm most proud of learning on my own. I never performed it, but I did show off with it during jazz band. I was so proud of myself when I managed to growl with the song! I feel like I really nailed the style of this song.

20. Your latest trick- This is another solo I'm really proud of teaching myself! I never played it, but damnnnn I fuckin nailed it when I played it.

21. Deacon Blues- I would always suggest this song to my band director for us to play in concert. We never did do it though. I love the solo, and I spent so many hours learning how to play this song and just vibing listening to it.

22. Zoor Suit Riot- This is the song I listened to a lot during band camp one year. Band camp was always an experience, I have a lot of stories from it, but this one hurt me, and this song I associate with that pain. My dog, Jake, he was an Autralian Shepherd. He was attacked by a pit bull. He died while I was at band camp. I knew he was sick before I left, and I wanted to stay with him, but my dad convinced me I should go because if I didnt I wouldnt have been in marching band that year. I regret going. I wish I spent my dog's last day with him. He was the best dog I ever had, I raised him. My family didnt even tell me he died until a month later, they just kept saying he was with my grandfather. I really miss my dog, and this is the song that reminds me I shouldve stayed home with him.

23. Centerfold- This is the song I associate with the good side of marching band! This was a stand tune we played during football games, and I really could like dance and jump around while playing it! It was a super fun experience!

24. Radioactive- Heres the bad side of band. My junior year, there was a solo in this song in marching band. We were allowed to audition for it. I tried so hard to get an audition with my band director. He kept saying to ask him tomorrow during pre camp. I said I could come in early, or I could stay late any day, but he kept blowing it off. He said I could do it first day of band camp. I asked when I got there, he said wait until tomorrow. The next day, he gave away the solo to his favourite person, and nobody even got to audition. He just chose his favourite. That really fucked with me. My senior year of highschool, the band director picked on me a lot too. There were so many problems in band, and he always blamed me. I was yelled at because I told the drum major we had to move because the susophones would run into a car if we didnt. I was yelled at for reporting drug use. I was going to kill myself because what was my life at that point was making me miserable. This is the first time i ever cut, this was the first time i wanted to die and i was going to act on it. Maria saved me, and i quit band. More on maria below. This song just reminds me of how fucked up the whole situation was.

25. Honeybee- This is the first of my people association songs! This one is for Maria, my sister. You aren't the first person I made a list of songs for and got one from love. Maria and I had the idea first. I felt it would help us get closer as sisters! This was when we were house sitting for rachael that we did this. The first time I didnt have nightmares was when we shared a bed and snuggled together. Honeybee was one of her songs. She saved me from band. She saved me from myself. She never really understood my depression, but she always helped. Shes also who I came out to first when I came out as trans. She helped me learn how to pass as a girl, and she accepted me for me. I've always loved talking to her, she'll always be one of the people I'm closest to. Shes family. Emily is too, that's my other sister. I dont have a song for Emily sadly, but she means the world to me too. Hell, if you want to know more about any of what I'm saying or more about these people, just ask me love and I'll tell you everything. You still have my number, and you can always message me on here.

26. Mona Lisa- This is my first of two for Rachael's songs. Rachael is the second person I came out to, and she helped me along with maria. I actually ran away from home on Christmas 3 years ago. My dad's girlfriend started yelling at me and I just ran away. I texted Rachael on Christmas Eve and she came and picked me up on the side of the road. I spent Christmas that year with her family and her. I spent next christmas there too. Rachael has always helped me through a lot. She also never really understood my depression, but shes always been a good friend.

27. Fox on the run- This is Rachael's other song. She used to pick me up every morning and take me to school. We would listen to music and chill together on the car ride, and this was one of the songs. I always treasured my time with her, and I often think back on those car rides.

28.Tattered Banners- This song is for Kris. I played dnd at a shop called Mishap Games while I was in high school. Kris was one of my friends there. One of the times I ran away, she got me. I spent the night at her apartment, and she introduced me to her dad, lastweektonight, and amon amarth. When I came out to her, we traded clothes. I gave her my old boy clothes cause she liked plaid, and she gave me the clothes that were too femme for her, and it's because of her I was able to dress the way I wanted to when I came out in high school. I'll always appreciate her for that.

29. Peace of Mind- These next 4 songs are associated with my dad. This one is a positive song. I would vibe with my dad and listen to his albums when we moved out. My mom cheated on my dad while I was in high school, and I chose to stay with him. He introduced me to so much rock music. Boston was one of my favourite bands of what he showed me. I still listen to them to this day and smile and think of the time I spent with my dad. It will always make me happy knowing he chose to spend so much time with me to make sure I was taking the divorce okay.

30. Paperback writer- my dad introduced me to the Beatles too. This song struck a chord with me because I wanna write books one day lmao. I love so many more of their songs too, i had a saxophone book of their music so i can actually play a lot of Beatles on sax too!

31. Pinball wizard- Yet another good memory with my dad. He got me hooked on music from the British invasion, so the who, the stones, the animals, the kinks, so many good bands he showed me! I love the time we spent together.

32. Cats in the cradle- Heres the negative of my relationship with my dad. I feel like he never really had time for me once he met deana and before the divorce. He spent more time with me when he and my mom split up,but then he just stopped. I really hope I didnt do anything wrong. Dad, if you ever read this, I'm sorry if me resembling my mom ever hurt or anything. I'll always love you dad, please pick up and call me back dad, please? I miss talking to you, I miss my dad. I know you're busy, but please? Just 5 minutes dad, please just call me if you ever see this I miss you. I love you dad. I learned a lot from you dad. I hope I'll make you proud of me, I hope I get to see you one last time before August 14th. It might be my last chance to see you. I love you dad, I hope you're proud of me.

33. Fireflies- This is my Gillian song. She fucked me up for years. She changed me. She wanted me to be her Ashe, and Ashe wasn't me. I didnt want to be Ashe but I loved Gillian. I let her change me as a person so that I could be good enough for her, but all she ever did was block me over and over, and unblock me and insult me. I dont know why I loved her so much but I did. She just tried to change me and I didnt want to change but I did for her. There's still a part of me that struggles to remember who I was before Gillian. I hate Ashe, I hope I never become Ashe ever ever again. I really never want to struggle like that again.

34. Imitation of Life- New theme! Let's talk about periods in my life. This was the song I listened to on an up. It gave me hope surprisingly. It taught me a lot about how to approach life. If you watch the video love, it keeps focusing on different scenes going on in a clusterfuck that is life. It just looks like a normal party at first, but there's so many little stories going on as the camera focuses on different parts. This song taught me theres a lot going on I cant see, and I should approach life assuming I dont know all the details. I need to focus on different parts, and then I'll see all the little things that make life beautiful.

35. Mr. Brightside- This is another up song for me! This song really helped me learn to smile and bear it. Like, this song helped me figure out how to smile again, and that if I smile more, life gets better and better the more I smile. It was just hard sometimes. I still struggle to smile, ya know love? You made me smile again though. You really helped me love!

36. Toxic- Fuck me sideways this song. I never have been in a good relationship, and this song kinda defines that. Everyone I've been with is toxic, and I shouldn't have loved them, but I did. I just was under their control. If any of the people that hurt me read this, I forgive you. You fucked me up, but I cant hold a grudge against anyone.

37. Monster- I truly believe I am a horrible person. A monster. I have never been able to do enough for anyone. I have never been able to make everyone happy. I have never been able to help everyone. I'm a disappointment. I'm a disaster who let's down her friends. I've never done enough for people and i can never go back and fix it. I can never save everyone. I can never help everyone. I wish i could help the world, but i feel incapable of doing that.

38. Kiri- This is another cry song. I spent hours in my room after school just with this blaring and crying my eyes out. I wished someone would save me. You have saved me though, love. You saved me from myself.

39. Bad Day- Lmao this song. Every time I had a shitty day I listened to this. I listened to this song every day for at least a year straight. Every day felt like a shitty day. Every single one. I just wanted to kill myself. I'm surprised I didnt. I still dont understand how I'm alive to this day. I dont know if I'll ever know how I kept going.

40. 11 minutes- This is one of the songs I associate with being ghosted. It feels like it always happened. I would make a friend, then a week later they just left me. I felt like I would always be alone. This was my college ghosting song. I made so many friends in classes, swapped numbers, then just nothing. I never heard from any of them ever again. I really felt worthless.

41. Telephone Line- My high school ghosting song. I had so many people promise me they would stay in touch. The only people from high school that talk to me are Maria and Rachael. Everyone else just doesnt care about me. And I get it. I'm worthless. It just hurts still. One person promised we would get together next summer, then when I texted her she ignored it, and posted not even a week later how happy she was to be back with everyone from high school.

42. In love with a killer- My first of 2 link songs. It's because of him I might go to jail, but more on that below. This song I associate with the abuse from him. He held me down, and cut his name into my back. He threw me on the floor and pissed on me and made me clean it with my tongue. He beat me. He stole my phone and texted people pretending to be me and made what few friends I had hate me. I lost everyone because of him. He just beat me and belittled me. He made me use my area even though I was uncomfortable. He made me give him head on his period, this he posted on his Facebook calling me a sissy. He only referred to me as his f*gg*t or his sissy or his fairy, he never let me have friends, and he cheated on me. He told me he only married me so he could own me. I fell for him though and I dont know why. He always said if I didnt mess up he wouldnt have to hit me and it made sense. If only I was better he wouldnt hit me.

43.Designed to Kill- my second link song. I tried to leave him once before we finally ended things. He had hickies on his neck. Since I tried to escape him, he said those hickies were strangle marks. I never hurt him. Hes a fucking bodybuilder and I cant open a pickle jar. I spent a week in jail and they put me with the men because of my area. Now I'm facing felony charges even though I didnt do anything to him. I was the one being beaten. If I go to jail, I'll be going to one where the guards dont patrol. I'll be killed. I'm so scared hes going to take my life from me.

44. Because of you- This is my rape song. When I was 5 or 6 (I cant remember what age) I was molested by a high school boy named Ryan. I never understood what he did to me and I still cant unpack it emotionally. When I went to college, I was raped in my ass with a toy by a trans guy, and I was raped by a nonbinary girl. When I went to the police, they called me the rapist since a penis cant be raped, it can only rape. Someone I was with threatened to post my nudes online. This song is about all of them, and about link too. This is the song I associate with all the pain I've felt because of it, and the fear I have whenever I walk anywhere alone.

45. Call me- this is my treatment song. When I was in college, I planned to kill myself on December 15th, at 3 am, exactly 3 hours after my birthday. I planned to jump out of the window of the 5th floor of muse hall on radford campus. I told my friend mary one day and she reported me to the police. I was put under EDO and sent to a residential home. There I met some really great friends I have since lost touch with. There was a Wii with just dance there,and this was the song we did most often when we played it. That treatment place was horrible. They held me for so long, promised one on one therapy sessions every day but we never got it, and I started the worst medication. It was supposed to help me with my eating disorder by giving me an appetite. Well, I never felt full. I ate until I puked because of it. But my friends helped me, and eventually I left. I'm not sure if that place really helped me or not, but the people did. After treatment, I spent a month at Rachael's house, then a month at Maria's, then I went back to school and moved dorms. It was after I went here I was raped.

46. Bo peep- fuck this animation just made me laugh. I love creepypasta so much, and the scp foundation. Seeing my fav creepypastas made me laugh so much when I needed it. I discovered this video and song and the next one while i was with link, and this made me smile at least for a bit.

47. Bad end- the other creepypasta song. This one actually inspired a book idea! I really hope I get the chance to finish it one day, but I'm not sure if I ever will. We'll see though, right love?

48. Intergalactic- This song I just really vibed with in college. Honestly this song and the next one are grouped together. I have a hard time thinking of why i like it or what it means to me, but it does mean something to me.

49. Echo- I love this band, they wrote my all time favourite song. This is just another song I felt needed to be on my playlist but there isnt any other reason for it.

50. Drake and Josh- omg this show. I grew up loving this show! It really helped define some of my childhood and listening to this song really makes me smile a lot!

51. Take a hint- Victorious was another of those shows for me. Honestly though I included this for another reason. So, you know I'm trans. This show sorta helped me realize it when I was growing up, but I never came out or rationalized it until I talked to maria my senior year of high school. Fuck, one time growing up I was on a fashion site looking at dresses because I really loved them and thought they were super pretty and I wanted them! My brother saw and told my parents I was looking at porn. I said I was because I was embarrassed I wanted to wear a dress. I remember in kindergarten being jealous of Jaycee for wearing this really pretty purple dress. I remember growing my hair out so maybe a girl would braid my hair randomly like they did to other girls. I remember playing dress up with Samantha in kindergarten and my grandmother walking in on it and I felt so embarrassed for enjoying it. I remember wishing I could he a Disney princess. I remember taking scissors to my area and wishing if I cut it off I would be a girl instead. I remember coming out to my sister and being so afraid she would hate me for it. I felt so ashamed for how I felt. I remember being bullied when I came out. I remember being cornered in the bathroom by a group of guys and they said they would make me inti a real girl. I remember screaming and fighting until a student came in and gave me the opportunity to run. I remember going to prom and leaving in tears as people were getting dared to kiss me. I remember being driven to therapy by my friend's husband. I remember him telling me I should go back to his place cause he knows what's tr*nn**s like me like. I remember being chased to my dorm from dnd one night. I remember everyone who's ever grabbed my ass or my chest. I remember being outed to so many people by a psycho old woman and I couldnt even go pee because of her. I wish life was easier, but so many people hate me because I'm a freak.

52. Cantina- New theme! This is how nerdy I am lmao. I've always loved stuff like star wars and dnd and star trek. Honestly this song hits weird. I remember watching the original trilogy with my dad and loving it. And my best friend, colton, could play this song on clarinet. He, Andrew, and I were really close. I kinda associate this song with them. Their mom died and colton walked in on her body. They moved away and I just felt so useless to them. I could never be there for them the way they needed me, I could never help them.

53. Doctor who- I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCHHHHHH. OMG I GREW UP SO MUCH WITH THIS SHOW. This was my escape in high school. I learned how to play the theme on sax too! I just always resonated with this show and it means so much to me.

54. Moonquest- This is my nerdy theme still, but now with youtubers. I've loved the yogscast all through college. Watching their videos really helped me after I was raped. It helped me take my mind off of things. This song really makes me smile to this day because of what the yogs did for me.

55. Diggy diggy hole- this song did the same for me what moonquest did, but this group is just so important to me. I love their content and they really did help me a lot. I got to escape through their videos.

56. All the way- I grew up watching jacksepticeye, he helped me get through highschool. My Irish accent is because of him too, I still like to try and do an impression. I loved growing up watching his stuff.

57. I'm back, baby-markiplier, omg markiplier. This was my first youtuber. I subbed to him I think when I was in 6th or 7th grade, and I didnt miss a video until I lost internet after I moved to the apartment with my dad. I still watch nearly all of his videos. Hes an escape that I really appreciate. He really helps me every day, and I really wish I could meet him so I could tell him his videos helped save me.

58. Fly like a butterfly- Markiplier also inspired me a lot. He made me believe in myself, and his message really makes me want to be the best I can be. I want to accomplish my dreams, and his videos made me feel like he believed in me. I really hope I can keep striving to be the best I can be. If you've never seen his videos love, I hella recommend them, same to his other channel unus annus.

59. Everybody wants to rule the world- NSP. Ninja Sex Party. Lmao this band. It's a rock comedy group. This song means a lot to me. It felt really inspirational when I heard it. NSP also has a really wholesome message behind them, and I believe in myself because of them too.

60. Party of 3- another amazing song by them. After I was raped, I really escaped into their music. And when I had a rough go of it in high school, I escaped to their music. They've always been a sort of relaxation band for me.

61. Baby, NYC- I actually got to see TWRP, Starbomb. And NSP perform in silver spring Maryland. It was one of the last things my dad and I did together, the other being watch thr sword art movie together. This band just means so much to me. I could've only used one song from them and gotten the same message across, but they're so important I felt like I needed more than one. I hope that makes sense love.

62. Smash- starbomb also means a lot to me. I remember the mornings my dad drove me to school I would listen to them on the way there with him. Their music was always really funny to me too, and I love the games they parodied.

63. Rivers in the desert- time for my nerdy videogame theme! Persona 5 royal is my favourite game of all time. The story is really moving, the characters are really well written (yusuke is bae), and it was just such a great experience to play. If you ever get the chance to play it love, I highly recommend it. Fuck I cried so much while playing it, it just means so much to me it's so good, in my opinion it's the perfect game for me.

64. Fairest one of all- This song I heard from SCGMD4! It's a rhythm game, and I've always wanted to show this song to someone I love.

65. Hollywise- this song is from Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe either 2 or 3. It also means a lot to me. This game series got me into rhythm games, and I spent so many hours on Kongregate just playing games like this. Before steam, this was my gaming website.

66. Cat- minecraft. Oh minecraft. I have so many fond memories of doing a LAN party at a friend's house or just playing modded with my lil friend group in high school. It's such a relaxing game, I can just mine for hours and just chill talking to someone. I love building villages too!

67. Zelda theme- I can play this on sax too! I loved watching the game grumps play the legend of zelda games, and I've always had a soft spot for them. I just kinda grew up with this series.

68. Evil woman- This song I remember from GTA IV. That game got me through some shit too, I honestly loved the story in it and it made me feel really good going through the story. It felt so real in a way. I played through it so many times.

69. Top secret- I watched patrckstatic play Maize. It's a really funny game and it made me laugh so hard! I still think of it whenever I listen to this song.

70. Skyrim theme- I sunk so many hours into skyrim. It felt a little samish after awhile, but it was still a great game!

71. Halo theme- Halo 3 was one of my first ever games after the gamecube. Now, why did I include so many short blurbs from video games? I didnt exactly write paragraphs about these like my previous songs. Well, gaming was and still is how I connect with a lot of people. I made friends in Britain, Lousiana, Portland, New York, I still keep in touch with some people through games, gaming has just always been a social thing for me and I grew up playing video games with friends. This music helps me remember that.

72. Wolf blood- this is my dnd song. In high school, I ran dnd club. I taught so many people how to play! I also went to a store I mentioned earlier, Mishap Games, and I played all day, every Saturday, for about 3 years. I played online and I ran groups. I played in college at radford. Dnd was my escape from life, where i could pretend to be some hero or villain character. I didnt have to be eden, I could just play a game with friends. I felt really good playing with people! If you ever wanna learn how to play love, or play together or anything, definitely let me know! I'd love to share a game I'm in love with with you!

73. Finally, Jump Up, Super Star- This is my favourite song. I've always wanted to show this song to someone and tell them how much I loved them. I've always wanted to show this song to someone who's more important to me than anyone else in the world. I've always wanted to show this song to someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and make them happy. I want to show this song to someone I'll always be there for. I wanted to show this song to someone I wanted to jump up with, without a care, someone I wanted to go on the odyssey of life with! My first ever post was me dancing to this song. This song means the world to me love. I really want you to know I'll always be there for you for as long as I'm alive. You mean the world to me. Come on, jump up in the air. Jump up because you know I'll be there for you. Everything will always be okay. I'm here for you. I know you're going through a rough patch love, but I'm here for you.

EDIT: 74. The Last Unicorn- This is the song from the movie the last unicorn. It's my favourite book of all time, it made me cry so hard! It's an amazing fantasy book that turns some tropes on it's head. It is a fantastic read I would 100% recommend so I dont want to spoil anything it's just amazing.

Now, why did I decide to post all of this today? Well I want you to know more about who I am, and what defines me. I hope I can get some explanations on the songs from your playlist too if you're ever up for it. I just wanted to share with you who I am. And I wanted a record of how I've felt to live on after I'm gone, if I do go away in August. Maybe you'll look back on my playlist and smile and remember me? Maybe Jump up will give you hope like it gives me. Maybe you can smile and jump up and just not have a care in the world. I really hope that songs has some meaning to you like it has for me, love.

Love always,

Eden ♥️♥️♥️♥️

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