#yeah i got compliments but rereading it……i need to fix things but i wasn’t ready

[oldfashionedmorphine]

i’m like…thinking i have to reread the whole thing before writing just to make sure i haven’t forgotten important things, but i know me….i’m gonna get stuck fixing shit i didn’t notice or reworking things cause i’m never satisfied

[bts7writings]

My Harmony II

Part I | Part II | ???

Pairing: Reader x Chanyeol

Genre: Smut | Fluff | Humor

Words: 3K

See you tomorrow? It’s Chanyeol by the way

You reread the words, scolding yourself for feeling any sort of giddiness from it, the universe just seems to love testing your limit. You tap on his number and save it to you contact before responding.

With that proper grammar? Don't think so? Kidding - See you tomorrow.

You suck on your teeth and make a point of leaning you phone as far form you as you can to decrease any amount of distraction. If he texts back you will not answer, you chant in your head as you open your first folder of work.

This chant works just fine, until you start moving onto pile number two, when the small vibrations from your phone carry throughout your desk. Contemplating the seriousness of your work ethics, your hand inches to grab your phone; Fully expecting it to be one of your friends to nag you about how you're spending your weekend.

“Y/n?”

You pull yourself away from your phone to double check exactly who you were talking to that managed to manifest rough deep consensual intercourse into a voice. Ffffuck me

You lips your lips once over and try to keep your voice monotoned. “Why are you calling me?”

“Um…because I have your number now?” You hear him laugh slightly at your question, bringing a small smile from you.

“That doesn’t mean you can-“

“I know I just wanted to hear your voice - I thought texting was enough, but I like your sarcastic tones better.”

There’s an awkward silence after his blunt confession. It’s a known fact that idols are known to flirt with staff and other idols - they’re human too. It’s also a known fact that you can get screwed over if you carry on thinking they are just normal people you can hang around with. One day you could be on cloud nine dating Korea’s top boyband and the next thing you know you’re rocking the “I got my hair pulled by a fan and might get fired if he gets tired of me” look.

“Chanyeol…” you warn despite your accelerated heart rate.

“Y/n…” he imitates your tone and scoffs, “why aren’t you signed to the company”

Your eyes roll again unable to stop, you weren’t an idol becuase you didn’t like the public scene, but telling him that would mean you were telling something personal. “That wouldn’t fix your problem of liking me, so-”

“Is it just my problem? Don’t you want to be the problem too?”

“I-“ you get interrupted by a beep from him side, another call. “You should probably answer that”

“It’s nothing important. Finish what you were saying”

“It could be your manager - answer it”

“It’s just a call from Yi. Y/-“

And there goes your own thoughts on the mater on whether you like him or not. We’re talking about a male idol that can, will, and probably does get any girl he wants.

“Of course” you roll your eyes, typical - sarcasm levels at 100%. “Why wouldn’t a new female staff have your number?”

“No- it’s not like that”

“Call her back, I have massive piles of work and don’t have time to entertain you.” Before you can hear a cute remark from his end you shut down your phone.

“This is bad news, y/n and you know it.” You whisper to yourself resuming to your work piles.

.            .            .            .

Maybe shutting down your phone wasn't the best idea.

The next morning, well afternoon since thats around the time it should be legal to wake up, one huge grey car was parked on the path towards the buildings garbage disposal.

Having to walk all the way around it, you mentally cursed out the personing owning the car. As you barely passed the car, your eyes were halted mid roll as the horn was pressed to cause a semi heart attack.

You turn around not sure if you're pissed off enough to actually cause a scene, but the only words that would come out were, “Oh god...” as  the lowering car windows presenting none other than Park Chanyeol.

Turning your body around completely, you shift the weight of your garbage bag towards the ground “How did you even know I lived here? What-”

“I may or may not have gotten your address from my manager.” His every present smile is fresh on his face as he leans over his seat for you to hear him more clearly.

“You almost gave me a heart attack! Why-”

“I thought you weren't coming since you hung up on me last night...”

“Well you’re not wrong.” Your lips press in a thin line to stop any form of emotion from showing on your face. This kid can smell a bluff.

“Wait...right there!” He shuffles around with his seatbelt and shuts the engine off, opening his door to jog towards you.

As he closes up, you look around careful of any cameras.

“You left your window down?” You nod over, but he’s already taken your garbage bag from your hands.

“Do you live in such an unsafe neighborhood?” he jokes walking past you towards the disposal. “It’s like 5 feet away, Y/n. Wait for me in the car.”

You blink back the audacity and disbelief of this whole situation ,his movements are always carefree and relax making you wonder if he even know the danger of being outside simply because he’s Park Chanyeol.

“...And you're not in the car.” He jokes when he walks back, “You said you were going to help me with a song today, y/n”

He puts a gently hand on the small of your back, leading you towards the passenger door. His other hand reaching to open the door. “Please?”

“Chanyeol...” You grab his arm with both of your hands, maybe he’ll fall for his own trick of puppy dog eyes.

“Y/n...” he mocks, leaning over to come closer to your face, obviously the true master of getting what he wants. “I’ll buy you food.”

Your tension melts with his present smile and offer of food; You shake your head in self disappointment as you take the seat being offered.

Before you have time to reject his offer again, he shuts your door and races to take the driver seat and start the car.

“Do you usually have to stalk girls to get them back to your place or...”

“It’s usually not this complicated,” he laughs and glances over at you, “So I’m guessing you didn't get my calls?”

“Yeah, I turn it off since I don't like the distraction”

“So I'm a distraction?” He teases, stoping at a red light.

“Currently? Yes. I had a lot of work and -”

“Yi, called all of the boys last night to go over names and specifications...” and there is the awkward silence that you always try to avoid. The light changes and he makes a turn. “It’s nothing like she called me to talk about anything personal....Honestly, a lot of people say that I flirt, but -”

“Chanyeol-”

“Y/n-”

“We’re not doing this” Your tone rises a bit, as you look over to see his face become devoid of emotions, “You don't need to explain your interaction with women. You know the conditions to my contract and I’m not going to break them.”

You could hear the tinkering going on in his head, “But that was waay before we even met, how-”

“You sleep with anyone you want, I don't get why you don't get the hint that I don't want that and -”

“Y/N-”

“- and if anything happened it’ll be my ass on the line, you can walk away scratch free, so just don't.”

The muffled noise outside is the only thing filling the void of tension and silence inside the car.

There’s no such thing as harmless flirting when it comes to these idols, one thing always leads to another and its not pretty for the normal person that has to put up with it their everyday lives after its over.

“Chan, listen-”

“I got it.” His hands tighten on the steering wheel, not able to stop his annoyance from covering is tone of voice.

“A-Alright”

.          .            .            .

You set your bag onto the back of his desk as you observe the beautiful mess that accompanies music producing.

Water bottles everywhere, papers half written on sprawled around a keyboard and mouse, while the screen contains a beautiful puzzle ready to be assembled.

“Let’s see what we’ve got to work with.”

True to word, Chanyeol ordered from a nearby chicken place and once you were finished eating you started reviewing his audio tracks one by one. Yes, he did playfully tease you when you put on your glasses and then again for putting you hair up after it kept getting in your space, but it’s full focus on his music.

“I’m thinking of one track just being a full on guitar solo.” he says renaming the track “g-solo”.

“You could place it in the beginning like an intro.” He nods at your suggestion renaming it again. You look over at your review papers and stare back up at the monitor. “What about track 3?”

“I have no idea” he groans, “It just doesn't right - all the other songs are working out fine, but this one-”

“Is a ballad” you clarify, “You’re voice isn't working-”

“Chen sang the demo for me and maybe it’s just not for me”

“What I was saying was” he rolls his eyes jokingly at your sassy commentary, “because you’re not complimenting your voice, you keep hiding it under the instruments.”

“So...”

“So..” you put your feet on the ground and drag your chair towards the desk, “let me find the harmony”

“My harmony?” His eyebrows come together frustrated as he plays the track again. After a couple of minutes of letting it play through you mind starts to work.

“The band should come after.”

“What?” You push his chair gently away from the center of the desk and replay the beginning of the track.

“Here, your voice plays for a bit before we get the other tracks in.”

“You think that’ll work?”

“Let me see,” you move in to grab the mouse and drag the playhead towards the area of conflict, while rearranging the instruments in the order you suggested. “This... here...”

You feel Chanyeol move closer towards your side, arm resting at the back of your chair, and his other hand stretching to point at his guitar audio track, “Can we turn the volume on that down?”

You follow his input, “We’re going to need to go back into the studio so you can add a second base, and - it’s better if I’m in the studio with you.”

“I can book the studio for Monday”

“Can you get the band booked for Monday?” You glance back at him quickly for his hesitance, “I mean we can book it another time when the bands’ free”

“Um..I play all the instruments myself.” Your eyebrows pull together and you turn your head to face him properly in disbelief.

“What? You recorded your voice and instruments..? How long does that even take you?” He nods and then shrugs.

“It’s tough.”

You want to scold him for not talking to you earlier - wait, no anyone else earlier. His life could be so much simpler if he asked for help in the first place. “It doesn't have to be that way, if you would've asked for help...”

“Yeah like that would turn out great...you didn't even want to come today.”

“Thats not the case”

“I had to basically drag you here myself”

“You could've asked someone else”

“I wanted you”

You turn around again to really let him have a piece of you mind, but realize how close you two actually were to one another.

His hand is still placed around the back of your chair, while his other arm is resting on the desk, basically trapping you to your chair. You turn in place towards him and rest a hand on his shoulder to grab his attention since he’s refusing to meet your eyes. “It is mot because I didn't want to help you, idiot. You keep flirting and -”

“You get scared of actually liking it?”

“I don't-”

“Can you just shut your pretty mouth for once?” He chides, “There are rumors of idols with staff, are some of them true - of course, but that doesn't mean everyones like that.” His eyes focus entirely on you now, “You know I’m not like that and you keep turning me down because of that.”

You fail to meet his gaze as you begin to recollect your morals. Chanyeol scoffs at your childish antic, reaching over to gently pull your face to him.

He doesn't say anything until your eyes connect, “You could fuck me physically and mentally right now If you wanted to, but you wont.”

A small gasp escapes you. Making you lower your eyes, in order to avert his stare, backfiring as they rest on his lips.

His tongue peaks out to lick his upper lip quickly before you see him mouth your name not letting his voice carry out. You try and look at his eyes so some sense can come through, but his attention wavers towards your own lips.

“You want me just as much as I want you” His head tilts to the side, hand climbing up to cup you cheek, his eyelids dropping to loose himself in you, “Permanently... not just for right now.” 

And thats exactly what you-

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEP

“CHANYEOLLLLL”

You both jump from the sound of the intercom static filling the room with Baekhyuns’ voice. “YAH! I forgot my keys and I don't want to be lectured so I'm crashing here tonight”

You feel a bucket of cold water being poured onto you as you jump up from your seat completely, hearing Chanyeol groan out an insult and disregard the door completely, “Y/n?”

“Yeah? I mean no-” You get up passing a hand through you hair and begin looking around for your bag.

“I’m going to commit murder today because of you.” Chanyeol with great calamity hand you your bag, only to hold you in place for what to you is too long. 

“Well it’s my cue to leave anyways.”

“I SEE YOUR CAR CHANYEOL. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!”

“I’ll drop you off-”

“No, it’s fine” You feel your heart pushing towards another sprint and pull away from him trying to find a away out without being noticed. “Do you...do you have a back door?”

“But how are-” Chanyeol grabs you again so you stop fidgeting and focus on him. He centers you back close to him, ignoring his clearly annoyed best friend making a noise loud enough for the neighbors to be concerned, and passes his hand from the top of your head towards your cheek. “I can’t just let you go and -”

You’re fighting with yourself at this point. fighting to keep your heels on the ground and your lips untouched, he noticed your glance towards his lips. “I’ll call a friend” you barely let the sentence out, but you need to in order to assure him to let you go and assure yourself that you can leave alone - right now.

“YOU BETTER OPEN OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”

Chanyeol's eyebrows pull together in frustration, knowing fully well that he can’t win this argument without you getting mad at him and that’s not what he needs right now. He needs to turn back time to that good place you were in a minute ago, turn back time and duck-tape Baekhyun’s keys to his forehead.

“Go through the kitchen and theres a door, call me when you get home - Y/n I mean it.”

.            .            .            .

“Perfect timing” Chanyeol leaves the door open as he throws himself in his desk chair. 

He made sure to grab one of his hoodies for you before you walked out the back door. Every cell in his being was fighting the urge to go back out there and take you home himself, especially after seeing who your friend was.

“That’s what I’m known for...” Baekhyun says absentmindedly closing the front door, heading strait for the kitchen to start searching through the fridge, “You’re out of soda.” A bit more rummaging and Baekhyun efforts are paid off with a bucket of leftover chicken. “So how did you date go?”

“It wasn't a date.” Chanyeol rolls his eyes as his friend sits himself down and starts eating. “She made herself perfectly clear that she's not that type of girl and that this wasn't a date.”

“Are we going to keep pretending I don't know who ‘she’ is?”

“Yup,” Chanyeol turns to save of the changes on the tracks

“But isn't that why you like her?” Baekhyun swallows his food before he continues, “Because she's not that type of girl?”

Chanyeol shrugs, “Maybe I’m coming off too strong?”

“Really? I thought you were toning it down with the whole stalking thing,” Baekhyun jokes. “But honestly, Yeol... Do you really think, if this ever goes anywhere, that the company going to accept it and everyone will live happily ever after?”

“I don't know, but if she keeps thinking the worse and yo keep running moments-”

A piece of meat was caught in Baekhyun’s throat and he started coughing both from his meal and the news. “Wait, you guys had a moment?”

“Almost,” he sighs remembering the warmth emitted from you, when you gasped. It was like he finally got you and the last thing he wanted to do was send you off in someone else car. “...until we were rudely interrupted by this homeless guy that came to eat my food.”

“Listen” Baekhyun takes his time deboning the chicken, “I texted you a good 3 times before I came over - you had more than enough time to tell me to not come over and since you didn't...”

“Didn't you think my no-response meant I was too busy?”

“Yeahhhhh” Baekhyun laughs at his own thought and shrugs innocently, “I was kinda hoping you guys were having sex so I could use it after as blackmail.”

__________________________________________________

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[abdicatedarchive]

Winter Trip || Juliette and Marina

SETTING: Marina’s room.

Juliette: Juliette went to Marina's room, hoping to avoid Chanel and the other cheerleaders. "Hey so I finished my book and I didn't pack my kindle" said the girl tucking her hair behind her ear. "Please tell me you packed an extra book?" she asked. Juliette had just finished her rereading of Carry On, and just needed something else to pass the time in her room without her computer.

Marina: Marina was by herself in the room as she was getting ready for the party. She liked to take her time when she put on her makeup, it was a whole process. "Ooh what were you reading?" she asked curiously. They were always talking about the books they were currently reading. "I brought the book I'm reading now, but it's Carry On and I know you've already read that. You can reread it if you want though, I don't mind."

Juliette: Juliette laughed, of course they were like this. "You have to be kidding me, that's what I packed" said Juliette, "why are we the way we are?" she joked. "I packed it because I was like ... oh I'm going to be so preoccupied all week, but my rooming situation is super dark" Juliette added, "so I whipped through that so fast, you know how I get about Simon and Baz" said the girl.

Marina: Marina gasped and laughed along with Juliette, "Having such good taste can be a blessing and a curse all at the same time, who would've thought?" she grabbed her book that was laying on the table and held it up to show Juliette. "Simon and Baz have a very large place in my heart. They're just so cute!" she said with a big smile. "Yeah your rooming situation is kinda sucky. I'm pretty happy here but I would've preferred being with you, Rosie, Gabrielle, Olivia. Oh and Stevie. She's really cool."

Juliette: Juliette giggled at the comment, "Right? Their enemies to lovers is everything to me" said the girl. That room situation sounded perfect to her "That would have been so much fun, in another universe I'm sure it happened" she said throwing the thought out there. She liked thinking about the Juliettes in other universes and what they were up to, it gave her something to do in her free time. And without her laptop, she had a lot of it. "Stevie is great, I just started to get to know her" Juliette added before changing the subject. "I was thinking ... I kind of want my makeup to look ... less basic? Could you maybe do my makeup for tonight? I want to look cool" she asked.

Marina: "Ahh isn't enemies to lovers just the best?" Marina asked, smiling to herself as she thought of Simon and Baz. It was one of her favorite tropes. "Wouldn't it? We should all have a sleepover one night. I know Rosie would love it and it would be nice for all of us to hangout." she suggested. She was pretty happy about her room situation though, being with Rose and some of her teammates was good enough for her. "Oh yeah, she and Rose have been good friends for a while so I've known Stevie through her." Marina's eyes practically lit up once Juliette asked if she could get her makeup done by her. It was a real confidence booster to know someone trusted her to do their makeup. "Of course! I could definitely add a pop of color to match your outfit. Very pretty, by the way." she complimented Juliette's outfit. She loved her style. "Okay, I'm thinking maybe I could use either one of these two palettes, which one do you think?" she asked, opening both eyeshadow palettes so her friend can see the colors. 

Juliette: Juliette smiled at the idea of a sleepover, first of all ... Stevie over at her house? Sneaking around? That would be all too fun. Second of all, she actually had friends. Juliette had girl friends for the first time in her life. A group of them even. It made her feel good about herself. "I would absolutely love that" said Juliette, smiling brightly at the idea. Juliette sat down next to her, "Could you do the cool eyeliner on me? Like kinda ... like a bad b?" she said as she looked at the palettes, "that one for sure" she said. "I've been working on elevating my style" Juliette said smiling kindly at the compliment, "Pinterest surfing is like ... all I do".

Marina: "Cool! I'll bring it up in groupchat and we can plan from there." Marina then thought about how Rose and Stevie weren't in that groupchat. "So I'll let Rosie know, and maybe you could let Stevie know?" she suggested innocently, of course Marina had no idea what was going on between the two girls. Marina giggled once Juliette said bad b and nodded in response, "Of course! You're gonna look so hot." she said, grabbing a couple different colored eyeliners. "Here's the one's I brought. I of course have a black and brown too. Here they are." she placed them on the table. "Nice choice." she smiled as she grabbed a makeup brush and got some pigment on it. "Close your eyes, please." she said politely. "Have I never told you before? I absolutely love your style. You wear the cutest skirts for school."

Juliette: "Yeah Gabrielle is ... well she's a little picky" said Juliette, honestly sometimes she worried that Gabrielle would drop her. But then she remembered that she knew Gabrielle's biggest secret ever, so at least they had that to share. They also shared the Griffin thing, which was sad .. but it bonded them together more than ever. Juliette shut her eyes so that Marina could do her makeup, and smiled at the skirt compliment. "Thanks, I get compliments sometimes. I usually think no one notices, but I've been getting a lot of attention from people recently" said Juliette, unable to contain her excitement over it. Her kind of fashion was definitely becoming more mainstream, she liked her monochrome outfit sets and playing with colors and accessories. "How are things since you've been back? Good?" Juliette asked hopefully. 

Marina: "Yeah? I pretty much just know her through you and Chase but she seems really cool. It would be nice to get to know her more, and you have great taste. If you're friends with her, she must be awesome." Marina remembered that Juliette had been friends with Gabrielle for years, so she knew Gabrielle had to have been a really cool person. Her smile widened once her friend mentioned getting more attention, "Oh yeah? Any attention from anyone special?" she asked slowly. Her and Juliette didn't really talk about boys that much but that could always change. Marina knew what it was like to suddenly get more attention. Sure, she got a good amount her freshman year cause of cheer, but she was so much more outgoing now. It helped a lot. Marina's smile faded a bit once Juliette asked how things have been. "It's been a little... different I guess. In good ways and bad, honestly." she said softly as she applied the eyeshadow to Juliette's eyelids. She hadn't really talked about this with Juliette yet. 

Juliette: "Yeah we used to vacation together, and hey now she lives here so that's nice. I was close to her when we were smaller and she was ya know, more like me. Then she had these wild years and went crazy, and now she's back to normalish" said Juliette, "I dated her brother for a while, on and off in the summers" she added. "We were mostly just best friends, you know like that summer camp type close". She didn't like talking about Griffin, but it was less painful now. "Mostly just female friends" said Juliette honestly, not that Stevie wasn't her friend. She definitely was. But she was also not her girlfriend, which lowkey sucked. But Juliette wanted to let that be it's own special thing sometime in the future. "Different how?" she asked, not being able to see that Marina was no longer smiling, the cadence of her voice had changed a little. But Juliette assumed she was maybe turned around or something to dip into a palette. 

Marina: Marina listened to Juliette as she started adding another color onto the girl's eyelids to blend. She felt bad for not really being there for Juliette, she remembered how close her and Griffin were. But Marina just started talking to her old friend again and she was still going through a lot. She felt bad for pushing away so many friends. "It's nice that you and Gabrielle are able to see each other a lot more often now." she stated. "Compliments from girls are the best kinds of compliments though. Hits a little different." she smiled even though Juliette couldn't see. Marina wasn't sure how to answer Juliette, she hadn't really opened up about it and she wasn't ready to. Not now on this trip at least. "Just trying to adjust to a lot of changes." she said vaguely before finishing up her friend's makeup. "Okay, take a look and let me know what you think." she grabbed a handheld mirror and passed it to Juliette. "You look amazing! If you want me to fix anything, let me know. But I'm ready for the party when you are." she said as she touched up her lipgloss.

Juliette: "Compliments from girls are the best" said Juliette, in complete agreement. She didn't know how to tell Marina that she was gay, but maybe she would get the hint? Probably not at all. She didn't want to go around telling everyone, it was just hard to keep the secret when she wanted to tell everyone about Stevie. "That makes sense, you don't have to talk about it" said the girl to the other, she didn't want to push Marina too much. She was mysterious herself, they were a good pair. Juliette looked at herself in the mirror, "I look amazing! Thank you" she said giving the other girl a hug. "Let's do this" she said, "I think people are playing truth or dare" Juliette added as they headed out to the party.

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: In The Silence I Hear You

Recently, @skadventuretime, @eerna (JoKay on Discord) and @amberlehcar stopped by to chat about their 2016 Resbang, In The Silence I Hear You! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Okay, first of all thanks for single handedly getting me to finally watch YLIA lol! My question to madi is, what was the inspiration behind soul's nightmares? Because that was something I noticed was different from the source material! I mean, they were there but yours were way more nightmarish and horrifying lol! (That is absolutely a compliment by the way.) What made you go that route?

madi: ahahaha 1) You're very welcome, that anime Ruined me and one of the first things I did after watching it and Soul Eater around the same time was look for the AU, because surely it had to be a thing. When it wasn't, I was like welp, I know what I must do. As for the nightmare inspiration, it was part Soul having them in canon and part just what sort of came out of me as I wrote. It wasn't planned per se. I tended to sort of let what happened happen at those parts and just intuited nightmares there, though I did sort of intentionally have them stop as he began to open up to Maka more.

Q: I would like to know how Jo determines how many sparkles to put in an art piece for maximum heartbreak.

JoKay: Simply. I just really love sparkles and let them do whatever they want in my work.~~ BD

madi: OkAY. CAN I JUST FIRST SAY MY FAV THING ABOUT JO'S ART. Because the way she did the mirroring is incredible. Like, this is my desktop background. They go together so well:

Q: Favourite moment in the fic or about the art?

madi: I think my favorite moment was writing Soul beginning to get through his block. I ended up having a lot of fun with the over-the-top synesthetic music bits and that part was very heartfelt for me.

JoKay: Favourite moment in the fic: the hospital visiting. I wanted to illustrate it really badly and ranted to Madi like. For days. About all the ideas I've had. It was heartbreaking but colorful and vivid, and the way Madi writes the two is just.... ahhhhhIhhhHHHH

madi: And like, Jo paid attention to the little details?? ? ?? Like, his tie isnt tied there. I just threw in some little bit about how he thought his tie would be crooked since Maka wasnt there to help him and ladjglkdsfg. I forgot about it tho til I saw her art.

JoKay: You threw in so many little details that struck me and I thought "YES I WANNA MAKE THIS A PART OF THE PICTURE SOMEHOW"

Q: Care to talk a little about your process? What program do you use?

JoKay: Sure! I start off with rereading the text I want to illustrate about ten times. I die a bit and try to remember the feeling to capture it. I make a traditional pencil sketch. For the Maka picture I had to take some references of myself with a violin, which... took a long time to get right haha. Next I take a picture of the sketch and do lineart in an app called MediBang Paint on my Samsung. I choose a color palette, pick the bg color, and put down basic colors. I shade, then add multiply and overlay layers to add lighting, and this is where the final palette and overall feeling gets formed. And then, best for last, the sparkles! Which usually take 3-4 layers, depending on opacity I want.

Q: This was a difficult read (in the best way); what scene/scenes did you find most difficult to write?

madi: I ended up going back and rewriting a good chunk of the beginning third of the fic around November/December because it just wasnt getting at what I wanted, tone or writing quality-wise. I have a ~12k doc of dumped/scrapped stuff from this. /cries. But specific scene wise, hm. I agonized a bit over the hospital scene with Spirit a little, because I wanted that to hit a certain kind of helpless sadness where there is nothing you can do to fix anything.

Q: This had such emotional depth to it and lots of moving pieces of grief and accurate descriptions of guilt/grief that hit me hard. Was it hard to write something so emotional and was it as much of an emotional journey writing as it was reading?

madi: I guess, well. writing for me, and I think a lot of people, can be a very intimate look at who a person is, and I think that's where the guilt/grief came from. I tend to internalize a lot of that stuff, especially with the grief/regret/wistfulness, so I think that's where all that came from. And it's funny, it wasnt hard to write in the moment, as I was listening to a bunch of ridiculous music and yelling at/with Bones about her Resbang at the same time, but looking back I can definitely see a journey and it was as much because of the friends I made during this process as much as the act of writing. [For example], around the part where maka dusts off the piano, Bones came in with some Real Piano Experience and helped me understand what actually goes into that and how long it'd take for things to actually lose tone, etc. and I was like, heck, i didnt think about that, having not played a classical piano. Moral of the story is this is why betas are gr9. It's fucking sappy as shit, but it's true. I learned sO much about not just writing, but also life and irl shit from my betababes. Part of my Process turned out to be letting Bones throw me all sorts of cognitive dissonance shit and terrorize me with very emotional music, and then I'd mix a drink and get to it. I stg it felt like I was tripping balls when I wrote most of the music scenes, tipsy and listening to BT. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyGf2mTP2_Y).

Q: That golden swoop in her dress on the right side is what really kills me. That exiting feeling.

madi: So fun story: Jo sent me her second piece a few days before posting and I legit teared up.

JoKay: Handkerchiefs all over the place.

madi: All. Over. I also tried to sort of avoid the awkward love triangle in the anime bc i didnt feel like it really fit SoMa. Also, this is what me and Jo's convos looked like a lot towards the end:

Q: Adverb gate time?

madi: To explain adverbgate, basically, Bones came in and 1) made me realize I overused adverbs 2) this led to me realizing oH by not using them and applying better characterization things, all is better than the first time. I told all my betas, and part of the reason I asked who I asked, [was for them] to not hold back and if they saw something they thought was off or whatever, to tell me and not worry about hurting my feelings because i was in this to improve and learn. I'd much rather have it done like this, because now I really feel like I learned a lot and got better. Bones went from the 98 edits in chap 1 or 2, to 4 [edits] in the last one. And one of them was this: http://imgur.com/R3L4S9b

Q: I wanna know Amber, what made you decide to do a VA project? It turned out so freakin well and you guys were so good T.T

JoKay: The VA was so perfect, I teared up a bit. Beautifully done.

AmberLehcar: I was an amateur voice actor on YouTube prior to joining tumblr (good luck finding anything I was in though. /cries) And I'm a competitve asshole so I was like "I'm gonna be different."

Q: Anything in particular that made you choose that specific scene to do?

AmberLehcar: I asked Madi right away what she wanted. And it wasn't even written yet when I asked lol.

madi: Like, okay, when she sent me the first clips, I was blown away because they sounded better than over half the English dubs I've seen. Yeahhh I uh, I could have been more on top of things. But I knew that scene was gonna be in there and it sounded like the kinda emotional moment that would be good for her project, so I wrote that scene out of order.

AmberLehcar: I love it, it's so good. Madi was there while Brian was recording. She's a director now :3 She heard all the ridiculousness.

madi: You guys were soooo gooood! And your puppy, ahhhh. I still have that laugh track, too.

AmberLehcar: My pup wanted to be a star. I was so nervous [that] the piano bit was so bad people would hate it. It dragged so long. In writing it works so well. Listening, though...

madi: Man, you captured the transition well tho, of him slowly finding his sound and no longer needing to hear it through her.

AmberLehcar: Playing badly and repeating playing badly is tough, dude, so I'm glad it worked nicely.

Q: Did you make a public playlist of the stuff you listened to?

madi: OhH yes, yes i did /slinks off. Not fully included on there is the copious amounts of BT and Stuntin Like Mufasa I chainsmoked: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhw3nWRXdsh-jPe7SXHPy-NOT4-PtY1yt. I also feel obligated to note that Bones did play a p important role not only as beta, but as general conspirator/friend and writing mentor, and being free with her music trenchcoat.

Q: Jo, do you have any art/style/artist inspirations?

JoKay: Yeah! Artists that make my inspiration wander could be found on tumblr as viria, lukrecious, loish, mormoc, also IG mizymiyajima and cyarine. IRL I live for Alphonse Mucha's work.

Q: I feel like we should put an honorable mention for amanda's and zxanthe's contribution.

madi: YES, ZXANTHMANDA'S COVER OF HALLELUJAH WOUNDED ME SO PLS LET IT WOUND YOU: http://zxanthe.tumblr.com/post/157041732943/so-in-honor-of-skadventuretimes-resbang-in-the.

Q: How often do you draw, outta curiosity jo? I remember it being A Lot, but...

JoKay: Depends? If I'm not too busy with school I can make pages worth of sketches a day.

madi: Dark Jo, your sketch books are amazing.

JoKay: Madi, if you saw them, you'd change your mind. They're a hellhole of faint traces of suffering teens and stupid decisions.

Q: Are you working on anything else now Jo? What is on the Horizon?

JoKay: SfTF is the only fic in my opus! Idk I just don't feel confident to write anything else...

madi: (It is a Noragami MMA AU type deal >:))

JoKay: As for paintings... boy does The Lunar Chronicles' fandom have some stuff in store for them once I find the time. I will save up for a proper tablet soon, so that will be a new beginning for me.

madi: Man, the world isnt ready.

madi: I would also attribute this Resbang to teaching me that I apparently can't listen to tone-appropriate music while doing a scene, so that was a learning curve. I ended up with a bunch of upbeart mashups/disney rap during the sad scenes. Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdSo1oY_GB4

JoKay: It was fun talking to all of you and listening to more behind-the-scenes discoveries of this great fic~

madi: I also wanna take a sec to be sappy again about everything I learned throughout this process from my partners and betas. Y'all are super swell.

Thanks to the creators for stopping by! That ends our AMA Transcripts for the Resbang season - thanks for reading and congrats to all of this year's Resbang participants :) We'll see you all in 2018!