#yeah everything about these scene was so beautifully done and i'm so grateful we get to see it TwT
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secriden · 1 month ago
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Just going to cry again (see: my previous post about the parallels between the storage room scene and the abandoned factory scene) about parallels and juxtapositions in the store room scene vs the one in Styles bedroom:
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Both these scenes have such a tone of desperation and are characterised by an overflowing of emotions, but in drastically opposite directions.
(Note, some of what I say in this post directly relates to concepts and themes I talked about here, so it may not wholly make sense without that context.)
The scene in the storeroom is filled with frustrated desire. Fadel kisses Style because he wants Style's body and also wants to take his frustrations at Style out on his body. He doesn't need to look Style in the eye (and in fact very intentionally only does so only in small snatches) because this isn't about a connection as much as it is about a release. Fadel's kisses come fast, hard, and are intended to bruise more than to adore.
But episode 5's scene is filled with much more quiet and tender sort of desire. Style is kissing Fadel so much more slowly and purposefully. He keeps looking back at Fadel, checking in to see how he feels and whether Fadel is enjoying it. Everything Style wanted in Episode 3, he now gives to Fadel here, pours the secrets of his knowing and choosing Fadel anyway into the way he presses his lips onto Fadel's skin. His kisses linger, they carry a weight but are somehow infinitely gentle still; Style's kisses contain a purpose that Fadel's kisses couldn't in Episode 3 because in all honesty they were relative strangers back then.
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There's also the way there's such a ferocity and carelessness in the way Fadel starts the encounter in episode 3 that is juxtaposed beautifully by the slow, tender, almost hesitant way Style slides his lips onto Fadel's. Both of them are in such different headspaces, between these episodes and its especially evident in the way they care so much more about the other person's comfort and how intentionally they showed that to the audience.
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There's hunger present in both scenes but what this hunger is focused on is so drastically different. In the storeroom, they're both mainly focused on a physical release; its primal and visceral but lacked emotional resonance. Fadel gives Style what he knows Style wants (that hint of danger, with the hand on his neck), but its not because he really cares about what Style wants on anything more than a physical level. In Style's bedroom, however, Fadel is drunk (intentionally and by his own design) and desperate to open himself up to Style on an emotional level. Meanwhile, Style wants that desperately too, but knows that Fadel shouldn't because of his own terrible secret. So this kiss is what they both will allow themselves - an honesty and a hunger for this deeper connection they can only share in act but not in words.
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In the storeroom, Style wants Fadel to want more than his body but knows (or thinks) he can't push for it yet, so he remains passive, lets Fadel do whatever he wants, lets him turn and shove and place Style how he wants because at this point, this is all Fadel will give him. Here, Style is passive in spite of what he wants. But in the bedroom, Fadel is passive because it's what he wants; he wants to let Style do whatever he desires to and with Fadel's body. He wants to lay himself as bare as he possibly can, which is only physical, and so he does.
And because the encounter in Episode 3 lacked that emotional connection, the focus is merely their respective releases. There's a sense of two people trying to find pleasure and 'finish' while remaining emotionally disconnected despite actively having sex with each other. Because in some ways, they didn't really need each other in that moment to get there (there's actually a lot of truth in what Fadel says about it being easier to just jerk off alone). In sharp contrast, the scene in Episode 5 isn't focused on the destination but on the journey. Style is taking his time and Fadel is letting him - Style is choosing to worship Fadel's body, with his fingers, with his lips, to respond to his vulnerability with gentleness and tenderness and adoration. The goal has stopped being about finding a release, it's about allowing both these men to revel in the giving and receiving of pleasure.
The point of these scenes is to show to us the ways in which Fadel and Style have grown to care for and, dare I say it, love each other in ways that are so purposefully portrayed by showing the nature of their physical connection. Because the ways in which these scenes are the same and yet so wholly different showcases how their touches are now no longer merely tied to their senses any longer, but also to their hearts as well.
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kitcat992 · 10 months ago
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Just wanted to stop by and let you know that I was thinking of you and sincerely hope life is being kind ❤️
I’ve read a few Irondad fics lately that have been so well articulated and beautifully written, and they’ve reminded me of your stories. But your work will always be the GOAT to me. Everything else I read is always compared to your version of the MCU, because that’s canon in my opinion.
I secretly love that your stories keep going, that Identity Within is still a WOP, because parting with a finished story when you reach the end… a story that you’ve grown to love and formed a bond with… it’s really hard to say goodbye. It feels a little like grief if I’m being honest.
I’ve lived in the joy of knowing that there’s no permanent end (yet) to the Identity Series for years now, and I’m actually really grateful that I haven’t had to read an ending or experience that final farewell.
I just wanted you to know that your work is so appreciated, and while I’m sure it weighs on you sometimes that the updates take a while and the series has been ongoing for a few years, it actually brings me so much comfort ❤️ You deserve to know that you make that difference for someone.
Life is being....SOMETHING to me 😅😫😩So when I say that this message rejuvenated the very essence of my soul, I truly mean it ❤️❤️❤️
I've had some very rough nights recently, thanks to the wonders of ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ゚ stress ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ゚I've got front row tickets to the "when it rains, it pours" show, and to add onto that, I started a whole new career where I'm *running a freaking business.* Yeah, sleep doesn't really happen as often as it should for me.
And because I'm still trying to sleep, I don't keep my mind operating at such a capacity that I could do anything worthwhile other than watch Tiktoks re-read through my series for shits and giggles, because I wrote it having wanted to read these things, and now I can go back and have fun reading the story that was once all jammed packed into my head. And in doing this, I tend to remember comments that made my entire day, month, year, and so I go into my inbox and just....I just read all the comments, over and over again, with such a profound, appreciative, ecstatic, blessed feeling in my heart.
The love that everyone has had for this series is what makes me still so deep in love with it today. And hearing that from people like you, who are so kind to take a minute of your time and express these things as if it were your first time ever reading the story...god, a girl couldn't be anymore lucky. Truly, #hashtag blessed.
My free time is far and few inbewteen these days (why did I decide to go run a freaking business 😳) but I promise you, no job will ever take this series away from me. I'm far too excited for everything that's yet to come, still to be written, and needs to be told, that I'll never leave this piece unfinished. Knowing that the pace it's taken isn't something that bother people does ease my nerves and calm me a bit, and I thank you so very much for expressing that and all the love alongside with it.
Chapter 9, Bachelor Party, is one BEAST of a chapter that's nearing closer and closer to finished every day. I hope for an update within the month or two. It contains a whooping 17 characters in a single scene, with character interactions we damn right deserved in the MCU. 2/3rds of the way done and and I think my inability to control the word count says enough about what to expect.
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These characters have gone through far too much to rush through chapters now. In fact, the more things go on, the richer things get -- and to know amazing people like you are along for the ride...that's just so dam nifty. ❤️❤️❤️
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