#yeah booms wearing a leaf vest

[disastrousduckss]

Just an older brother taking his "twin" brothers to the market

(click for better quality)

[trashforhockeyguys]

Vienna Waits For You -1- William Nylander

A/N: The official start of Vienna Waits For You! I can’t wait for you guys to really get to understand William and Avalyn. This is probably the most unique story I’ve told so far. I hope y’all will enjoy the ride.

“Miss Bradshaw Kreitzburg, we can’t begin to explain how excited we are to have you here with us,” One of the Assistant Directors said as she was led into a posh hotel.

“Just Kreitzburg is fine, or Avalyn,” She cringed, hating it when people used the full name that her parents insisted on.

“There she is!” A loud voice boomed from the doorway of a very large conference room.

Avalyn couldn’t help but smile and nearly squeal as she ran to the man. Jackson Portland was one of the only people that she felt like really knew her. They’d been best friends since they first worked together in the early years. Back then, Jackson was an awkward lanky kid, not the bonafide sex god that he was now. Truthfully, Avalyn wanted to laugh every time girls literally threw themselves at him. To her he would always be Jacky, her best friend. 

“You made it!” She jumped in his arms, holding onto him for dear life. 

Jackson was like her life vest. She wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to do something like this without knowing he would be by her side the entire time. She trusted him with everything that she was. He’d been the one to call her about the role and tell her that she’d be perfect for it. 

“And so did you! God you look fantastic Avey. But you really could eat a little more. Do the Monsters have you on another diet?” 

“They wanted me to be on one,” She confirmed, “But none of them are here...soo I guess I’m not anymore?”

“Then you and I are going to burgers whenever this is over,” He declared, setting her down. 

She nodded excitedly. Going out with Jackson was always her favorite. Somehow they always found a way to just be normal twentysomethings. Jackson and Avalyn made each other feel almost normal for the first time in their lives. Seemed only fitting that the two of them didn’t want to let that go. 

“Have you scoped out our ‘advisors’?” Avalyn asked, holding onto Jackson’s arm. 

He shrugged, flashing his famous dimpled smile, “Oh you’ll love them.”

Inside the room, most of the younger Leafs were somewhat huddled together, keeping their distance until told to do otherwise. But some of the older, more experienced players were talking with some writers and producers from the project. 

Avalyn tried to calm her nerves, her grip on Jackson’s arm tightening with every step. She hated meetings like this. She didn’t know a single player on this team, hell she didn’t even know a thing about hockey. She knew that they probably all had their own preconceived opinions of her, none of which were good. Just like how nothing the media published these days was good. Good for press, but bad for her personal life. For once, she wished she could just pause it all. 

Some of her friends from childhood, which she lost contact with long ago, went to college and are in steady relationships. None of them have their entire life looked over with a magnifying glass. They could wear what they wanted, or eat what they wanted, go out with whoever they wanted wherever they wanted...Avalyn never had that luxury. But she couldn’t say she was jealous of them...envious might be a better term to use though. 

“Alright boys, listen up!” An older man in the team’s jacket called, “I want you to listen to what they instruct you. Remember, you’re representing the organization and Toronto.”

“Thank you for that Coach Babcock,” One of the show’s producers said before standing in front of everyone, “We’d like for all of you to pair up in a few minutes, but before we do that, why don’t all of you take a second and get to know each other. Get all of the awkwardness out of the way so we can all get to work? Gentleman, at each table is a dry erase board with a rink on it, I was told that’s what you all use in practice to show plays and things, feel free to do the same today. We’ll call you all when it’s time to come back together.”

Avalyn didn’t move for a moment, not as long as Jackson stayed where he was. But it wasn’t long before the producer was coming over with the other man, who seemed to be the coach of the hockey team. Behind them trailed several young men, which Avalyn could only assume were players. Jackson nearly jumped, seemingly excited about who was coming over to them. 

“Coach Babcock, these are the two I was telling you about,” Eric, the producer, looked proud of himself, “These two are the stars of our show, Jackson, Avalyn, I’d like for you to meet Mike Babcock, coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs, as well as three of his star players, Auston Matthews, Mitch Marner, and William Nylander.” 

“You don’t have to tell me who they are, Eric,” Jackson waved him off before extending a hand to the coach, “It’s an honor to meet all of you. You guys had a hell of a season last year.”

“Jackson grew up in Connecticut prior to becoming an actor, he’s one of the only cast members with hockey experience.” 

“Sick man, I love that movie you were in last summer with Taylor Kitsch. Shit was badass,” The one with dark hair and blue eyes said.

Avalyn couldn’t remember who was who. All she knew was one had long blond hair, and two with dark hair. She used to joke that all hockey players looked the same when Jackson would try to make her watch games, but she couldn’t say that anymore. No two players in the room looked alike. 

“See, I told you Avey!” Jackson joked, “She said there was too much blood. I tried to get her to watch American Assassin with me, since O’Brien and Kitsch are such great guys, but she wouldn’t.”

Avalyn felt uncomfortable in her own skin. She hated moments like this. Jackson always seemed to be in his element and on his game. But Avalyn wasn’t comfortable with these people. She didn’t watch hockey, all she really knew was that they constantly hit each other and fought over the tiny rubber puck. 

But Jackson just seemed to fit right in with them. Almost like he was a member of the team and had been for a very long time. She was jealous of the fact that he always seemed to make it work. He was never a stranger. Whereas Avalyn always felt like a stranger. She often felt like she was playing dress-up all the time, and eventually someone would call her out on it. 

“Thanks for making fun of me again,” Avalyn said under her breath, “It’s nice to meet you guys.”

“So, what are you? The token romantic interest?” The blond quipped. 

“Willy-”

“No I uh-” She couldn’t really find her voice. She should’ve been used to people assuming she was only there to further the story. She was just pretty face, meant to smile and just be pretty. 

Maybe that was part of the reason she took this role...she wanted to prove she was more than that. Yet, she couldn’t even find a way to tell the man standing in front of her the very same thing that she was fighting to prove. 

“Actually, Avey is playing the only girl on the team. She’s pretty important actually,” Jackson cut in, “Pretty badass too.”

“Avalyn, we’d like you to pair with Willy, if the rest of you want to come over with me we’ll get you all sorted,” Eric suddenly interrupted, “You two can go over to that table over there.”

Suddenly, she was left with the blond that obviously didn’t exactly like her. Avalyn wasn’t uncustomed to it. A lot of people were standoffish with her at first, the sugary sweet persona she put on was enough to make anyone hate her. She knew that. But she wasn’t used to people being like this to her face. So blatantly obvious���.he didn’t even bother trying to hide it. 

The blond, William, rolled his eyes before walking over to the table. Avalyn knew this wouldn’t be a very fun time. Jackson and the rest of the cast and crew would probably spend the whole session laughing. Yet, she was pretty sure William wouldn’t be overly helpful or talkative. 

She glanced around, hoping someone might come to her rescue, but everyone else was already paired off and talking to their respective hockey player. Jackson was already laughing with one of the dark haired boys, and a very large red headed man. Avalyn wished she could be like that. 

“Are you coming or not?” The blond grumbled. 

Avalyn took a deep breath and followed him to the table. He sat with his arms crossed. She wondered why he already seemed to hate her. Had he read something about her and decided she was a horrible human being? One of those cheap tabloids who made their living off of dragging her through the mud? 

“I’m Avalyn,” She said, trying to break the tension, but her voice still shook. 

He scoffed, “Yeah, I know.”

She nodded and reached for the glass of water. Couldn’t she have anyone else? Or just have someone else at the table? Why did they have to take Jackson and put him all the way across the room. She felt like she didn’t know how to do this without him. She was out of her comfort zone now. 

“Okay,” She said quickly, “You obviously don’t like me, but I don’t really care. I have a job to do, and so do you. So can we just please drop the shit and you actually tell me what I’m supposed to know?”

“Who said I didn’t like you?” He fired back, leaning forward. 

She let out an almost bitter laugh, “Oh, I got the message loud and clear. You have no reason to hate me, but you do. You know nothing about me, so next time maybe try to get to know the person before you form an opinion.”

It was his turn to laugh as he leaned over the table, getting closer. His eyes seemed to almost burn into her. For a moment she was afraid. She didn’t know this man, she didn’t know what he might do. But every bone in her body seemed to yell at her to run. Maybe everyone was right, maybe this was the worst choice she made. 

“I know enough,” His voice was low, but the power of it made her want to shiver, “America’s princess on the outside, and a fucking bitch on the inside.”

He leaned back in his chair once more. There would be no more talking. It was like Avalyn and William were on different sides of a battlefield. They both had the next attack just waiting, and neither would wave the white flag. Avalyn didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing what his words did. Each one was like a knife going deeper and deeper into her chest. 

William just didn’t want to give in. He was being stubborn, and he was sure all of the guys would say he was an ass. But he heard enough about little miss Avalyn Bradshaw Kreitzburg. He wanted nothing to do with her. Everyone that he knew that knew her all said she was really a bitch, that the sweet little innocent thing she had going was an act. That Jackson Portland acted as her guard dog in public because she couldn’t rip people to shreds for fear of losing her perfect little reputation. 

So William sat across from her, a smirk playing on his lips when she finally seemed to be at a loss. So, the two sat silently as the hours ticked on. No one seemed to notice that they weren’t talking, or that William wasn’t using the dry erase board like the rest of his teammates. By the end, no one seemed to notice that they didn’t move a single inch over the course of the entire session. 

“I’m not what you think,” Avalyn said quietly, “Whoever told you whatever ridiculous rumor, it’s not true.”

He smirked again, like he knew something that she didn’t, “I think Margret Vicklyr knows you enough to know the truth.”

Before she could even process the sickening feeling, he was gone. He couldn’t know Margret. Margot might hate her now, but surely she wouldn’t go as far as telling random people whatever she felt like it. After a couple of years, Avalyn hoped that Margret would just forget about whatever she was convinced that Avalyn did. But it seemed that she wasn’t forgetting...and now it didn’t seem like William would forget either. 

Avalyn struggled to get in a deep breath as everyone started to get up and leave. William looked too pleased with himself as he got up from his chair and started moving towards his group. 

William liked the feeling of having knocked Hollywood's princess back down to size, or at least that’s what he thought he did. He had no way of knowing what was really going on behind the glitz and the glamour. He had no way of knowing that she was struggling more than she could ever let on. 

William didn’t like Avalyn Bradsaw Kreitzburg, especially after what Margret told him during her summer in Sweden. The person that Margret described to him was horrible, incapable of caring for anyone but herself, and maybe her precious Jackson Portland.Yet, he couldn’t help but feel a sort of pain in his chest at the way she seemed to sink as soon as he landed his final blow. He knew his mother would’ve had his head if she saw him acting like that. But for some reason he couldn’t help it. 

How was he supposed to know that she was doing everything she could to keep her head above water and make this project work?

“Avey! C’mon, let’s go get dinner,” Jackson cheered, surrounded by the hockey players. 

Avalyn shied away from all of them, “I think I’m just going to go back to mine. Raincheck?”

“I’ll hold you to it!” Jackson cheered, following the team and some other cast members out of the hotel. 

As soon as she got back to her apartment, Avalyn tried her best to fill herself with music. All she kept thinking about was the way that he looked at her. The disgust...he made his mind up about her before he even met her, all because of Margo and whatever she came up with. All Avalyn wanted was to make this work, to prove that she was capable of choosing her own projects and that she was more than just the stupid doe eyed girl. 

But she still felt hollow, like she was already losing control. She still didn’t know anything about the game. Her ‘advisor’ wouldn’t be of any help. She would have to fight an uphill battle. But she wanted this more than she wanted any project before now. 

With music at full blast in her ears, Avalyn laid down, trying to drown herself in the sound of old classic rock and indie. She never did eat dinner like she promised. Instead, hoping the music would fill her in a way that food didn’t.

[thespiritofthoughts1234]

The warriors

              Hi, my name is Isabela! I live in a small town called Ocna’s Village in Romania. Actually, I was born in Italy, but I’ve moved to Romania without knowing why, ok when I moved, I was a baby so is pretty logic to not know lots of things on that young age…Eh, doesn’t matter, cause now I don’t wanna tell you my story, but I really want to discuss about Dimension F35A.

                F35A is a place where everything that appears to be unrealistic, impossible or even dumb on this planet it can happen there. Now you might ask yourselves: “How can a little girl know so much about an interdimensional world”, well I know because I WAS THERE. You know, a very long time ago it was known about a rock that once rubbed by someone, it could create a portal between dimensions. That rock was called then a “curly rock”, a natural object that can be modeled in any other form, in today’s world it can be recognized in bracelet form and you can purchase it at an affordable price… (I swear I don’t make advertisement) …not true, actually you get it from birth (not literally anyone can say that).

               This dimension was perfect for my imagination, but it comes out that…I couldn’t get there till I turned 7…okay, technically, even at that age I still could NOT go in that universe, so I took my mom’s bracelet -I know that I’m not a good role-model, but I was DESPERATE, I asked her each year on my birthday (to be more convincing), and guess what she told me…I’ll make a scheme to show you my agony: -3years=No.

                  -4years=No!

                  -5years=NO!

                  -6years=NOO!

                  -7years=NOOO!

                So, it turns out that I’ve woken up for 8 years (1 year was under warranty) at 6 am because I had a “noghtmare” (eh, eh, get it…anyway, I wanted to make a pun but I noticed that no one laughed…L-LET’S KEEP GOING).

                  Ok, so when I first got in, I saw… a party with ponies and rainbows, that is what you were thinking...well, YOU’RE WRONG, it was just an unending war with random characters, it means that Batman could fight Bambi or something like that. Anyway! I looked around, everything was a chaos, but I’ve noticed something weird, I realized that everyone in there was fighting for a purpose or covering themselves or conquering new territories, so I made up a purpose too…the most important one. The thing that actually matters is that someone must clean this mess, a person that must be good, brave, and WORTHY FOR SUPREME LOYALTY, a creature that will stop this disaster.

And that’s why I’m…going to find it, what did you think that I am the person, no, not even a word, I won’t get into those knuckleheads, they freak me out.

                So, I transformed myself into a mouse and tried to reach the closest spot to hide (a rock…t-there will be many rocks in this story). And exactly when I thought that I’m safe, a giant robot crushed me (obviously I didn’t die because after you are crushed, sliced, shot, burnt, etc. you get back to your home dimension). But a second before game over I saw an iconic red color being, with deep black eyes that penetrate souls, three fox tails, two fox ears and one fox nose, who wore a leaf that covered all of its body, and who appeared to be a little bit confused by the chaos behind him, but in the end, he still crossed the road, very chill, to resolve his problems. I scanned it to have it like “skin” in the future (Minecraft users in the public, or Standoff or PUBG, whatever) but what future, because that stupid stack of iron CRUSHED ME:

                  --Hmm, what if I turn in that thing? I did it. Ew, this leaf doesn’t work on me… therefore, I changed. I was wearing a blue vest, white shirt, black jeans and brown boots…BOOM, it’s betTEEEER! I was screaming because a giant iron sole was going to crush me again (I would give a reply but I don’t have one…OH, WAIT, it looks like we can’t STEP inside without being CRUSHED by hospitality, HA HA, I’m a horrible pun maker…BACK TO THE STORY). However, I’m talking about one second before the impact, I ran but not like a penguin, I ran like FLASH:

                    --WHAT THE…WOW, I am running with the speed of light (clearing throat), doesn’t matter, now let’s find that person…I will look over mountains and valleys, lakes and oceans, and I will be recognized like “The random girl who brought the hero of this world” … after I will visit this place with the super-speed thing. Now I think I went through 3 kingdoms -I despite no one saw me- And then I arrived on a land with a dense fog, without…(cough)…clEAn AiR:

                    --NO…I need…(COUGH)…to continue mY qUeSt-not too far away from me stand a humanoid silhouette…at least that’s what I thought…however, I started to scream, powerless: PLEASE…(COUGH)…YOU, THE STRANGER IN THE HORIZON …I’M VERY YOUNG…EVEN IF I APPEAR TO BE IN MIDDLE AGE FROM THE DISTANCE AND UNCLEAN AIR! I fainted waking up in a cave:

                  --(Clearing throat again)…Uh, where am I? I said after being a little dizzy.

                   Suddenly a sound came out of nowhere, like a growl:

                  --W-what? Who’s there? I asked scared. An animal came out of shadow, actually it was the same animal that I saw a few moments ago: You again! What do you want for appearing in those mysterious ways? the animal growled harder showing its big fangs: Uuuh, what BIG fangs you got there, buddy, ha, ha! Wait do I have fangs too?! What’s your name? No, no, no, how do your friends call you? I have many questions about…you…I was slowly going back, because the animal was slowly coming to me. Unfortunately, I reached the end of the cave: Understand that I mean no harm, although we are in the same species, no…I scanned you, didn’t I…I scanned you…and I transformed into you, I hope you don’t want to…EAT ME?! I said with a worried expression.

                    After the last phrase the humano-animal -partial human, partial animal- for a second it stopped, and then it came rapid, got its huge bloody red color claws out -literally anything is red on you? – Well in that moment I nodded and I said:

                      --N-nice…c-claws. Did you do your manicure?... the best pun that I could tell to a creature with an unpredictable behavior, oh and more than that,

before I didn’t know if she/he was furious or happy, because I was seeing just his/her dark eyes -even the gender is unknown-, and after that innocent joke its eyes changed a lot, they were yellow with a keen red iris. “OH MY GOD I’M SO DEAD!” I said to myself…BUT yes, of course, I can’t die in this dimension, yeah thank you for reminding me, I don’t need to worry…just if I bump into a particularly type of being…a being that can destroy anyone and anything…

                          Is known about an ancient legend that reveals some sort of creatures, warriors, who disintegrate everything that stays in their way, although it doesn’t exist in their dimension, it’s speculated that those legendary creatures are the most dangerous beings in the multiverse…who told me? ... Mama told me!... Ok I don’t know how those legends look, but I hope that the respective humano-animal wasn’t a part of those fighters -WAIT A SECOND I HAVEN’T NAMED THE GUY YET, hmmm…let’s see…Neferis…no, to Grecian…Falohe, no, to Hawaiian, hmmm…Do…Ba…Aaaa I know, Zentofea, why this name? I DON’T KNOW!

                      Back to the story: That Zentofea -Oh gosh, I love this name- came closer to me being just as predictable as unpredictable like before, but the Zeantofea…Zen-a-to-fe-a?... seeming to be more furious. I said quickly:

                      --WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! the Zento- Agh- that humano-animal, appeared to attack me, …but no, he/she? Destroyed the boulder behind me to make clear way to the outside world…really nice gesture from a   wild animal…By the way, after that giant stone, there was a pasture full of cold crystal flowers - why didn’t they named them ice flowers-: WOW, I hope you wanted to do this for the first time, because you might just miss and… Ya’ know…

                       At first, the animal had a disapproving look, and then it smiled and leaved:                    

                       --Ok…anyway…I’M GOOD! Now I seriously need to find that person, the battlefield is getting dirty, and I don’t want to clean the mess…I made a few turns in the pasture…aaand then I got lost…Um…I think I should go in that way…or that way…or…that…way…uuuh, …HEEEELP! After the previous phrase a humano-animal came out of the forest near the pasture: DUDE, if I owe you, every time you appear, I’ll buy you a yacht. Then the animal came closer, showing itself not being a Zentofea, but a humano-animal with a body of a wolf, a more evolved wolf, with human head and some different sized crystals placed uniform on the fluffy chest -I should wear glasses.

                       It came and smelled me:

                       --Uuuh, are you some sort of dog? it has stopped from smelling for a second and showed his sharp fangs… sharper than Zentoffe-a’s ones -I’m still thinking how to pronounce it correctly-…anyway…of course I got scared: UUUH, GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY, SIT! He growled: WHAT, DID I OFFENDED YOU IN SOME WAY?!SAY! LOOK I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU ARE, BUT TO KNOW THAT TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY IN HERE, AND ALL THE ANIMALS ALREADY HATE ME!

                        --Get out of our territory, Zentofea!

                       --Ooooh, so it’s pronounced Zentofe-e-a, ok I noted AND HEY, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT NAME, and did you say “OUR territory”!? after that phrase, a bunch of more humano-animals came out of the forest. Ya’ know, don’t ya’ think you have to many friends? They were slowly approaching me, I know, you think that I could’ve escaped, but the answer is NO, I couldn’t escape because I was surrounded, and I also know I could have jumped, but those animals seemed to have springs instead of legs, really now, I think they evolved from kangaroos…Siberian kangaroos. Many of those animals had an white with a little of black fur, WE C-CONTINUE: So I was there surrounded by those oversized human-headed dumb dogs, I was helpless, TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII- increase the suspense-IIIIIIIIIIIILLL … nothing happened, I’m kidding, I figure it out that:” BUT WAIT I HAVE SECRET WEAPONS TOO!”. I tried to annoy myself to get my claws out, first time it didn’t work, and then I thought about the most annoying thing for me, not even this worked because I love all the things unless the things that I hate, so I went to Karate, Judo, and putting my fingers in other one’s eyes:

                       --OUCH, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

                        --That’s how I know!

                        Even with my MASTER moves, I still couldn’t stop those hundreds of humano-wolves - hmm, surprising- until one bit my tail. In that moment I was angry- I took out the sharp fangs, yellow eyes with small pupil and iris, big claws, now I don’t boast myself, but I took down at least 20 wolves, ok I boast myself a little bit. Doesn’t matter because everything happened in my MIND, after that guy who I put my fingers in his eyes, another one threw a stump in my head.

                         I woke up tied up of a plank, carried by 4 human-wolves -I’ll name them later- to the chief of the tribe. They put me in a cage, still tied, with fire under the cage, very chill. The chief said:

                         --Oh, divine spirit of the frozen forest we give you this offering in exchange of a great dinner.

                         --An offering for a great dinner? Do you know that you can hunt? I mean you’re half wolves after all!

                         --GASP, who would’ve done such a shameful deed!? They looked offended.            

                        --Says the guy who is making an offering to a horse!

                         --It’s a majestic wolf!

                         --Riiight, you really aren’t good at sculpture!

                         --Oh, yes, we are, everyone is criticizing us, and why aren’t you worried, you’ll be burnt, are you a player?

                         --OF COURSE, I AM -a brilliant idea just crossed my mind- n-not…of course I am NOT a player, because I’m a destroyer undercover!

                         A sound of surprise came from tribe:

                          --Wait a second why did you smell like a Zentofea?

                          --Well, it’s a special thing that none of you heard about, it’s called perfume!

                          --Oh!

                          --A-and if you don’t untie me, I’ll destroy you ALL!

                          --But if you’re a destroyer and you can destroy us, why didn’t you destroy the rope and the cage already?

                          --Uh- OH, yeah…uh, thanks…I forgot I can… DO… that -I was pretending to concentrate to destroy the cage, but as an amazing coincidence, a thing came out of nowhere and cut the iron box and saved me…still tied up…but free…i-in a way. Uuuuh, yeah, I telepathically sent a message to a recruit to save me, good job soldier! I caressed his head, good part he was fluffy, bad part he pulled out a laser gun from his pocket and pointed it to my forehead, he had 2 guns, the other one was pointed at the public -how dangerous can be a creature with 3 feet high:

                           --Run! Said The Short One, that’s how I call him, with a deep voice.

                           --I would’ve run already, if I haven’t my legs TIED UP!

                           --A Zentofea has stronger muscle power in lower limbs!

                           --…Yes…

                           --…That means that you can rip the string that ties your legs!

                           --Ooooh! I ripped the strings and I ran… after a few seconds I stopped and I returned to The Short One.

                           --WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, I TOLD YOU TO RUN!

                           --I won’t let you down!

                           --I’ve been here more than you so I learned a lot in my time!

                           --Ok, I trust you on this, but can I do somethin’?

                            --Yes, try to survive!

                            --…I hope I can do that!

                            Well, it appears that The Short One had a plan to escape from that situation, I don’t know how, but The Short One shot with the laser gun in a cold crystal (ice), bounced off another two cold crystals (two pieces of ice), and then to the base of a tree, that rip causing a chain reaction, putting down tree by tree, the last tree falling in front of the angry crowd:

                           --WOOOOW!

                           --COME ON, I CREATED A DIVERSION!

                           --But, wait, how did you know that tree was going to fall in front of them? I have said while I was running with The Short One.

                           --D-do you really want to know?

                           --Uh, yes?

                           --Really, no one has asked me about this for a decade!

                           --Uh, about what?

                           --Science stuff…oh my God…I’m…so…excited…(clears throat) ok I’ll tell you…GASP, first time I calculated the area between the laser gun and the target, and then I’ve calculated the variables- he continued talking until I realized that we both have stop from running.

                           --Uh, dude ya know…an entire squad of human-wolves with six packs is like…following us!

                           --…And then I measured…

                           --…Uh, maaan?

                           --…But the distance was equal with…

                           --I beg you to stop!

                           --…So, I created a way to…

                           --Sigh, who am I kidding? I took him by the arm and jumped in a tree.

                           --…Although if I would’ve taken the theory…

                           --CAN YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT…please? I put my hand to his mouth and I pointed to the tribe that passed us.

                             --Oh, yeah, I-I’m sorry!

                             --Look, man, I understand your excitement, I think you’re a little lonely here by your independent character, but can ya wait until we get rid of this dorks?        

                             --Yeah, I know, and by the way I’m a girl!

                             --You are a girl, but how do you have such a deep voice? SHE took her mask off!

                             --It’s a changing voice device, dear!  

                             --Oh. My. Goodness. YOU ARE SO CUTE! I think she was the cutest specie of humano-animal that I’ve ever met in my life. I hugged her… SHE WAS FLUFFY!

                             --Look, that’s why I’m always wearing a mask…ok, this and other 3 reasons!

                             --Daaww, why, like someone would really attack you?

                             --Yes, many would attack me, players, qualified and unqualified hunters, maybe…MY OWN ENEMIES!?

                             --Aaww, but wait, you have enemies?

                             --Yes!

                             --Why?

                             --Because of my high intelligence!

                             --Really, well, that means that you have common enemies with many of your species.

                             --Meh, not really, I’m a very rare case, usually creatures in my species are…

                             --Let me guess, dumb, goofy, jerks, but with no reason?  

                             --I wanted to say idiots, but your description is much more extensive.

                             --I know how it feels, I mean a lot of people from my species are like that!

                             --Zentofea?

                             --No, humans…but I have one question, how does everybody know about this name? I named that creature!

                             --Uh, no, it has been named like that since forever!    

                             --How?...

                             --Look, stop asking useless questions and care about your purpose!

                             --My purpose…OH YEAH, MY PURPOSE, I FORGOT ABOUT IT!

                             --How can you forget your own objective?

                             --My PURPOSE…is that an ocean? I’d said while I was exiting the forest.

                             --Yes, the terrestrial space from this planet is predominant in isles and archipelagos!

                             --DAMN IT, how am I going to cross the ocean now?

                             --But why do you want to cross it? Do you need to cover a territory?

                             --No…

                             --Do you want to conquer a territory?

                             --…No…

                             --Then why do you want to cross the ocean?

                             --I want to change the world!

                             --Wait, you want to change the world…alone?

                             --Nope, that’s why I’m looking for a person to help me!

                             --Wow, really…wow, you’re the first person who said that! Hey, HEY, what are you doing? I took off my boots, I rolled up my jeans and I tried to run above the water, for 3 seconds I really have run above the water, and then I began to sink. I swam back to the beach.

                              --So, do you wanna tell me…where…the heck…were you thinking?

                              --I thought that I could run on water.

                              --Kiddo, if in your dimension exists some force who keep things together, however are you calling…

                              --Gravity…

                              --I knew about that name, I’m a genius, I just wanted to clarify that you know what I’m talking about…What I wanted to say, is that, the respective force exists in this universe too, but it acts with a different attraction.

                              --Aha, so what other idea do you have?

                              --Hmmm, first, you still didn’t answer the previous question!

                              --Well, I think the person might be after the ocean!

                            --Do you think that this motivation is certain, I mean isn’t assuming an attempt to know something that can be inexistent, do you really think, in this life anything can have a scope, don’t you think that life is an illusion meant to prepare us of everything what can be beyond the bars of reality?

                              I remained without words:

                              --I made this up 10 seconds ago, what’s so hard to understand?

                              --No, no…I-I understood!

                              --Then why are you doing this!

                              --Um, I don’t know…I think I just needed an adventure!

                              --Then why did you choose to change this world?

                              --I don’t kn-…YOU KNOW WHAT, leave me alone with those weird questions, you’ll provoke me an existential crisis!

                              --Ok!

                              --I just wanted to know How. Can. I. Cross. THE DAMN OCEAN?  

                              --Stay chill kid, I’ve got this! She took out a thing from her pocket and she blew in it, then a 45 feet animal came out of water and it wasn’t a blue whale. A little help from a seahorse!

                               --You can’t put the words “seahorse” and “little” referring to that thing!

                               --Oh, yes, I can. Player, say hi to Rudolf!

                               --RUDOLF? WHAT ARE YOU…SANTA…THE BARBARIAN!?

                               --Not really. Rudolf, say hello to the player! He said hello…i-in his language.

                               --Yep, I’m clearly going to make a raAAF- the monster picked me and sank into the water!

                               --Bye, bye, bon voyage through the ocean!

                               The monster took me to a temple under the water. In temple:

                                --COUGH…when I said to cross the ocean I DIDN’T MEAN UNDER WATER! All the torches in the room blew up.

                                --Greetings, my dear child! Said an old lady when she appeared from nowhere in front of my face.

                                --HOLY SHAMALAMA…sigh…ma’am I think you have the wrong person!

                                --No, no, that’s how I tell to the visitors!

                                --Ooo, so, you have tourists…riiight!

                                --No, every new player comes to me for the closet! She showed me like a Chinese closet -I made a redundancy, everything is made in China.

                                 --Closet, do you have problems with the furniture?

                                 --No, they get in it!

                                 --So…you kidnap kids... I’m calling the police!

                                 --No, you didn’t understand, it will be worth, plus is no police station in the middle of the ocean!

                                 --You’re the creepiest person I’ve ever met in my life!

                                 --Many people say that! Now, come on, it doesn’t bite!

                                 --At least I got rid of a fear! I got in the closet, immediately after I got in, I remained unconscious and I woke up in another world.

                                 I’ve heard a girly voice:

                                 --WARM WELCOME TO THE DIMENSION OF THOUGHTS! Said a grey colored skin girl with black clothes and amber colored eyes. And I’m the Spirit of Thoughts!

                                 --AAAAA!

                                 --Hmm, I thought that a Zentofea wouldn’t fear of literally everyone who says hello!

                                 --How did you know about that…AND MORE IMPORTANT, HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT THAT NAME!?

                                 --Well, first, I know what every player thinks, and second, I know about that name because I put it!

                                 --But ho-

                                 --How do I know that? Well, the answer is in the name, MY NAME, DUH!

                                 --And how did I-

                                 --And how did you name it? Ho ho, well, that’s simple kid, it’s because all of those subliminal messages that I left around the place!

                                 --If-

                                 --If I control the thoughts, why didn’t I end the war, yet? …It’s because that war shouldn’t end, it’ll declare the true leader of this world, like you said it must be a good, brave, and worthy person to clean this mess.

                                --An-

                                --And that means-

                                --Oh, will you please let me talk?

                                --Ok, go ahead!

                                --…And that means I’ll have to fight to make a little difference?

                                --Kid, I think that you will change the whole world, trust me, I don’t say this to any other player…but you have to fight for that, although it’s like the real life!

                                --Yeah…it is!

                                --…So, are you ready for your first match?

                                --Y-yes…yes, I do! Let the game begins.

[lord-explosion-baku]

Bakugou x reader

Warnings: swearing, suggestive content

A/N: because of the content of this piece, everyone will be aged up (18+) This was a fun lil snoot. This goose is happy.

You panted heavily, gripping on to Bakugou’s bed frame. Your legs were shaking from what had just happened. You thought only one time would be enough to tire you both out but after three times without any breaks, you knew you had met your limit.

Bakugou was already kissing your back again. You bowed your head down and turned to your side sighing. Both of you were covered in each other’s sweat. You were sure that if he ignited his quirk, you would go flying. You pushed him and his lingering lips away from you. “You,” you breathed, “have got to stop.”

“Don’t wanna,” he teased the spot right next to your hip bone with his tongue, sending a wave of excruciating tickles through your body. He knew what that did to you.

“Aahha~ I’m serious!” You sat up in his bed and groaned. You were incredibly sore. You pulled your legs away from the blonde and let out a gasp. “Katsuki!”

You pointed at the darkening marks that covered your thighs. You both had agreed to never leave hickeys.

“Tss, you weren’t objecting when I was doin’ it!” No, you weren’t. There was no way you could say no to anything the animal before you did to you. When you were in bed with him, you never could distinguish between pain and please and you loved it.

“There aren’t any on my neck are there?”

He brought his face next to yours and tilted your chin to the side. “No,” he said moving his lips closer to your ear. “Why? You want ‘em?” His tongue slid across your earlobe and you could already feel your stomach flipping around, ready for him to take you over again.

“Mmmmphh…. No! Ah! I have to get home, take a shower, and get ready for Ashido’s party… oh and I told her I’d bring snacks!” you hopped off the bed. Now where did you leave your shirt…?

“You can take a shower here if you want…” he tossed you your jeans that were hanging off the back of his bed. When you didn’t reply, knowing that was another one of your rules, he continued. “You’re actually going to that thing?”

“I told her I would and I don’t see why not,” you said, zipping up your pants, “unlike you, I’m not a stick in the mud!” You hit the floor, dodging a flying pillow. You checked under his bed. So clean but no shirt. You stood back up, crossing your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling more naked only half dressed in front of Bakugou. “Where’s my shirt?”

“Donno,” he smirked, “maybe the living room?”

“Noo, remember you took it and ran with it and my bra to your room, bastard. You really don’t know where it is?” He shook his head with that shit eating grin plastered all over his face. Perv.

You picked up a black shirt that was sprawled in the floor. You gave it a sniff. It was the one with the skull he was wearing earlier before you peeled it off of his body. It would have to do for now. You threw it on over your head and pulled it down. The loose material felt nice. The scent you liked… even more so. You checked yourself in the mirror. Your hair was wild and your face was flushed but the T-shirt kinda looked good on you. You liked the feeling of having something of Bakugou’s draped over you...

“Now look who’s breaking the rules,” he mused, climbing out of his bed.

“I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t a psycho. And you broke them first, punk!” His hands slid around your waist and you turned your blushing face away from him. What was he doing? “When you find my shirt, please give it back to me.”

“Will do,” he brushed your hair back behind your shoulders. “But you can keep this. It looks…”

“Shit, I’m late! Uhhh,” you danced away from him and grabbed the rest of your belongings. “Thanks for uhh, all of that. I guess! I’ll catch you later Kat- Bakugou!” You teetered out of his room and through his front door. Closing it behind you, you let out a heavy breath. There was no reason to be that flustered around him. He was your friend… sort of. A friend that you slept with on rare occasions. Err… it started out as just rare occasions. It kinda progressed to something along the lines of ‘nobody’s home, you can come over if you want,’ which happened a little more frequently. But just because you were seeing him a little more often than usual did not mean that the two of you were progressing to be anything more than you had agreed on.

~

You didn’t have time to go home to shower. You ran to the market and picked up the first sweet treats you could find: some orange and black cupcakes with purple and green confetti sprinkles. You didn’t think much about them. You just knew that you promised you’d bring something to the party.

Making your way to Ashido’s from porch your stretched out your body. Bakugou has bent and twisted your body you didn’t know was even possible. He beat you the hell up. You knocked on Ashido’s front door.

When the door opened you were greeted with booming music and Ashido in a fur vest and wolf ears. You have her a funny look.

“HAPPY HALLOWEEN!” She yelled pulling you into her house. It… it was not… Halloween??? Halloween is on a Wednesday this year. It was a Saturday... “Oh my god, look at you. Kaminari come look at L/N!”

Kaminari clad in a red devil costume came came bobbing his head into the room. “Pfffft, are you supposed to be Bakugou?”

The shirt. You had forgotten to change out of it. “I… am?”

“Ha! Well, you don’t look much like him with that confused look on your face.”

Oh yeah? You narrowed your eyes at him. “You fry your brain or somethin’, shortwire? Nobody gets to tell me how I’m supposed to act but me!” You shoved the cupcakes in Ashido’s arms and pushed passed the two of them who were now cracking up, huffing dramatically to yourself. You heard Ashido day something along the lines of how pissed Bakugou was going to be. This could be fun.

As more people showed up to the party you scoffed and threw banter every which way you could at all your friends who twitched with laughter only to be halted when the actual Bakugou sent his glare your way. You didn’t care. You were having a really good time poking fun at the short tempered blonde. You got a little nervous when Ashido made a comment about how you even smelled like him which you decided avoid diving into that when you saw Midoriya over by the table full of food.

“Hey! Deku!” You growled marching over to him.

He looked like such a cutie pie dressed as a ghost with little embroidered patches covering his sheets. Midoriya’s eyes widened at the call of his name and smiled sweetly when they landed on you. “Oh, hey L/N!”

You returned his smile with your best Bakugou scowl. “Out of my way before I set you on fire, Deku,” Midoriya responded with a worried look. Aw man, you couldn’t be so mean to him. “You’re hogging all the healthy snacks. You think I can afford to eat the rest of this garbage at this shithole party? Not if I’m gonna be the top hero! Ehh?? DEKU!”

Midoriya’s eyes lit up with realization. He stifled a laugh. “That’s a really good Kacchan impersonation!”

“Hand me a carrot before I kill you!” Midoriya happily turned to bring a carrot in your hand. “DIE,” you yelled to the vegetable before taking a large chomp out of it. You looked back to Midoriya to see the look of utter fear in his eyes. “Midoriya, it’s just a carrot.”

“Uhhhh~” you followed his gaze to find a seething Bakugou right behind you.

His hand wrapped around your arm. “We need to talk,” he said, pulling you to the next room over.

He pushed you back into the wall. You crossed your arms. “What gives? I was just sharing a healthy snack with Midoriya.”

“Yeah, well, you need to quit it,” you knew he wasn’t talking about your healthy snack eating habits.

“And why is that?”

“You’re impression of me… is annoying. But it’s pretty spot on. Eerily spot on. I don’t like it. I don’t like how much you know me like that and how much you know me in… other ways. You left so abruptly earlier and I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you about this earlier but I guess I’ll do it now,” oh no he’s gonna confess. Oh no oh no oh no. “Are you sure you’re not in love with me?”

“What?! Me in love with you? Dream on, Bakugou! If anything you’re in love with me!”

“Yeah well, I didn’t come to this damn party dressed as you, did I?”

“Probably because you’d try to fuck yourself if you saw your reflection!”

“And what did you do when you saw your reflection?” You opened your mouth to retort but nothing came out. “Just admit it, princess. You fucking love me!”

“I fucking hate you!”

“Yeah?” His hands gripped your thighs. “You hate me enough to be my fucking girlfriend?”

“Only if it’d make you fucking miserable!”

His lips crashed into yours. You wove your hands around him and clawed at his back. He bit your lip and pulled away. “Oh it would be a fucking nightmare,” he growled.

While the two of you continued to yell profanities and… other things… you classmates stood around Ashido’s living room, looking at each other, completely baffled, hearing everything.

~

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[weirdoldmanhoho]

Hey, happy fma day! Could you please do a prompt or like headcanons ideas of what would have happened if Ed and Al and the homonculi were siblings/cousins? (whichever inspires you more) it would be wonderful and funny, sure as hell

Happy FMA day! OMG yes this is my favorite ridiculous, silly au. Prepare for some ridiculousness.

Okay, so Father shows up randomly at the Elric (Hohenheim?) house a couple years into Hoho living there and is just like “hello, my dearest, oldest friend, so good to see you.” (Hoho is like, yeah, I’ve been rethinking our relationship ever since you literally committed genocide in front of me.)

Father tells Hoho he’s turned over a new leaf. No really, he says, no more murder. He’s content to live out the rest of his life with the one Philosopher Stone he already made and definitely has no plans whatsoever to make another one – what? How could his dearest, oldest friend – who he NAMED and cared for before anyone and helped gain him his freedom – doubt him? What is he talking about that the map of Amestris looks suspicious? Does he really think he could control how an entire country was built? His oldest, dearest friend (“seriously, stop calling me that”) has too high of expectations for him.

Anyways, Father says he showed up because he ended up with 7 kids somehow (“totally an accident. Just happened.” “…uh-huh.”) and he has absolutely no idea how to handle them and they’re all driving him absolutely crazy, and he heard that Hoho has two boys of his own (congrats, by the way, didn’t know you had it in you, your wife is lovely, good job) and maybe he’s managed to figure out this whole fatherhood thing better than he has, so can he bring the family and stay for a while? Just a bit?

And because Hoho is ultimately a sympathetic sap, he says yes. (Trisha literally might kill him. She won’t talk to him for two days. She threatens to take Ed and Al and run away. “This might be good for him, Trisha. He might actually learn to be better and care for people if he lives around humans for a while.” “If any one of his ‘children’ touch our children, I WILL find out how to kill an immortal and after I’m finished with them, I’m coming after you.” “I love you so much.”)

So the family moves in. Ed and Al meet their “cousins”. The homunculi meet the Elrics under strict orders not to hurt them. It goes about as well as you can expect.

Envy really likes screwing with Ed and Al. Their favorite hobby is transforming into one of them and trying to get in as much trouble as possible (pulling Winry’s hair, throwing things at Den, hitting the other real Elric brother, etc.) Jokes on them, though, because Trisha has gotten REALLY good at figuring out when it’s Envy in disguise and just happens to “accidentally” hit them with things. Like, she “accidentally” trips when Envy is in the kitchen as Ed and drops a metal pot on their head. (“Oh no! Edward, honey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there!” She definitely did. She definitely aimed for the head on purpose.)

(In secret, all the Elric/Hohenheims have come up with tells to let each other know they’re not Envy. They might be putting up with them living here, but damn it all if Trisha is just going to passively let them torment her family.

Greed and Envy hate each other, so Greed teams up with the Elrics to help harass his sibling, and ends up actually becoming a big brother figure to them. And somehow, damn it all, he’ll deny it until his dying breath, he’s actually grown a little fond of the tikes. He lets Ed try on his ugly fur vest once. He puts on the invincible shield and lets them hit him with things (look just because he actually tries to play with the kids doesn’t mean he knows anything about appropriate games for human children. Envy and Lust and him hit each other all the time – and usually with a lot more blood and death involved – surely that’s fun for his little “cousins” right?)

Trisha walks outside once and sees her sons just beating on Greed with any weapon they can find and just…walks away. She doesn’t even care anymore. As long as it’s her sons beating one of the homunculi and not the other way around, she’s not going to stop it. She considers that this might be teaching her children bad lessons for the future – such as its okay to just beat people with sticks – but considering it’s also teaching them it’s okay to beat up homunculi, she thinks the pros outweigh the cons.

Lust tries to act like she’s above everything, but she usually gets dragged into arguments. She just kind of randomly flip-flops between helping Envy screw with the kids and teaming up with Greed to defend them like a guard dog, with no apparent rhyme or reason to which she’s going to do on any given day. Ed and Al are both terrified and slightly in awe of her. It’s pretty much exactly how Envy and Greed feel too.

One of their “cousins” looks suspiciously a lot like the former Furher of Amestris (who randomly disappeared a couple months ago, stating “family emergency” before vanishing). Wrath wears a whole bunch of ridiculous disguises every time he takes the boys into town. I’m talking like fake moustache over his real moustache and sunglasses. Really ridiculous hats. Hawaiian shirts. A fake nose once. (“This is just sad,” Envy tells him. “I’ve seen humans disguise themselves better than this.” “I’m not taking advice from someone who willingly walks around looking like that.” Envy has to be held back from trying to maul Wrath by Lust, because Envy has already lost FIVE LIVES since living here – one of them might have been from Trisha, but she won’t confirm or deny anything and only cackles quietly to herself when she looks at Envy sometimes – and if they keep it up they’re going to actually die FOR REAL by next year. “DO YOU THINK PHILOSOPHER’S STONES GROW ON TREES?” Father booms, then goes immediately to Hoho and is like, “That was the right phrase, right? I also tried grounding like you suggested.” “You’ll get this fatherhood thing in no time. Also, you can’t end the grounding no matter how sad they look. That’s what Trisha says.”)

Side note: Mrs. Bradley definitely moves in with them too and now she knows exactly what her husband and son are and still loves them just as much. Pride is confused and slightly mortified, but also touched – he’ll never admit it. Wrath just really loves this human woman he chose. He and Hoho trade stories about their adventures wooing strong-willed, slightly scary mortal women. They get drunk together once and cry into the night about how wonderful their wives are and the fact that their children are growing up before their eyes – “I don’t grow, Wrath, what are you talking about?” “My son sounds so grown up!” Both men sob harder.

Trisha and Mrs. Bradley become fast friends. They run a So-You-Married-an-Immortal support group. Currently they’re the only members. Meetings basically consist of them exchanging stories of the weirdest things they’ve ever seen their husbands do.

Pride becomes weirdly protective of the baby Elrics. Mostly because he believes Father wants to keep them safe and he’s the most loyal devoted son who will do anything Father wants, so he takes great pride (ha) in protecting the baby Elrics from every harm he can think of. He also looks the most similar in age to them, so he lets Father enroll him in the local school and watches over them while in class. The rest of the class and the teacher are absolutely terrified of him, because he mostly just sits behind Ed and glares at everyone who moves too close.

Ed and Al grow up with a really weird understanding of shadows – ie, convinced that they can definitely move independently and are physical things you can touch, because that one time Al tripped, a bunch of shadows definitely grabbed him before he hit the ground, placed him back on his feet, and patted his shoulder reassuringly for good measure.

Sloth does nothing, of course. He’s just happy he doesn’t have to dig that tunnel anymore. He mostly sleeps and Ed and Al try to figure out how much they can stack on him before he wakes up. Or how many times they can poke him. Or how loudly they can shout. Etc.

Somehow it turns out mostly okay though. Ed and Al make it into their teenage years without dying or any serious maiming. (Only Greed and Envy have been maimed, but their injuries heal so it’s fine.) They have at least two homunculi that are fiercely protective of them, one that usually at least has more fun fighting their enemies than them, one who acts like a weird uncle and showers them with gifts and random melons, and two that are pretty indifferent as long as they’re left alone. And Envy, who definitely still wants to make their lives as miserable as possible, but is at least usually outvoted by the other homunculi.

The Elric/Hohenheim family is very weird, but most of them (and Resembool) have accepted that. Trisha definitely would still kill any of them if they hurt her sons though.

Thanks for the prompt!