#yeah I'm filled with hope
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They told you to fix a world they couldn't but you realized you can't fix it with the broken, maliced soaked blocks they leave behind. So you choose to a different way, one that embraces the world and its impurities but you keep a block because to forget is to repeat.
#the boy and the heron#the boy and the heron spoilers#yeah i'm fine#yeah I'm filled with hope#yeah I'm crying#studio ghibli#hayao miyazaki#anime
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you ever write several hundred words of nothing but a character portrait of someone getting a bone crushing hug and trying to mentally deal with it in one single swoop of inpired writing and then step back and be like hm. so i'm a little bit touch starved maybe
#from total bluescreen to Dude Just Put Your Freaking Hands Somewhere Don't Make This Weird#to this can't be comfortable for you right you're basically hugging sticks i mean i'm very comfortable right now but that#can't really be the case for y--even tighter? alright cool that's. yeah. that's fine. hey hope you don't mind the gaping pit in my chest#since yknow you seem all that content with filling it right now.
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by the lighthouse.
dividers
#alright i suppose i should tell what's up lately! im mostly posting this like a mini update or whatever haha#so - since i made that last post on my disappearance i worked endlessly to finish my animation project and thank goodness it's finally over#i had to take a break from trying to be social here and just stay in my own space and i did that by having a smaller side blog to ramble#the project was very... tiring - definitely took out so much energy from me post physically and mentally and i was just frustrated everyday#so i just took my time to be alone with a few close people and i like to think im okay now?#i like to think so - since i was able to deliver a few commission drafts today so i'm relieved that im back to my usual pace#I'll post a few of my doodles here i did during my project just to fill the void haha#i've acquired a minor familial from another video game and i care for him a lot :] idk ill bother to talk abt it here but yeah thats funnn#also indulging a lil bit of t.n.m.n content as of late also thanks to my friend who knows abt it hehe#soo yeah! I don't know if ill be active like the usual but know that i'm doing alright now! hope everyone's doing okay too xoxo#ill probably still stay in my smaller blog for a little longer but will occasionally pop in here!#sooo yaaa#~ art#💚 memoryshipping#also yea i think no.rton only had like. 10 days worth of being the blog brand here until i switched back to the usual guy lmaooo sorry 😔
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here
here and here
here
here
Dave is a treasure.
#dave jones#bg3#samantha beart#halsin#neil newbon#speaking of#i REALLY hope neil wins#that scene when astarion weeps after cazador is no more? yeah.#that fills my eyes with tears just thinking about that#I'm nominating this game for the game of the year on steam#twitter
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Destiny 2: At The Base
#destiny 2#d2: the final shape#destiny 2 the final shape#the final shape#the lost city#destiny 2 the lost city#destiny 2 the pale heart#the pale heart#aw yeah AW YEAH#Bulwark-26#titan guardian#soon i hope to have internet back but tbh working through all my screenshots has been nice#very peaceful stuff#i just fill the queue while I'm on lunch break or something#it hasnt been bad to have a little break from the game either especially in light of all of the. excitement#bungie#destiny 2 pc
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Went for a walk but instead of touching grass I started thinking of phones and man I'm so fucking Curious and Hyped to see the Roger route especially to see how different he is from his counterpart in DSaF.
After all, in that universe it really seems that the only thing that made Roger get his shit together after his wife left him and he dropped off med school and shit was fucking Dying and getting to now be Someone Else (see: Scott) but now everyone is already a phone so that possibility is off the table which makes me wonder, is this Roger just not miserable or is there a brand new thing that he found to get his life relatively together?
#luly talks#dialtown#dialtown roger#roger jones#GOD FUCK MAN I HOPE WE ALSO GET TO FINALLY SEE JAKE THEY'RE ROOMIES IT'D BE ONLY FAIR PLEEEEASE I WANNA SEE DA DILF OT2#but yeah no I'm quite fond of this orange feller he's so sad#he does have kind of a similar thing to what he had before going on i jsut remembered how. god#the fuckign trampoline incident. wish peter would've finished that story w these things happen sometimes! 🤷 christ#but roger really is now just filling the shoes of someone else not bc he's capacitated to do so or not but by sheer fucking chance#i doubt he'll be as tragic as dsaf rogers tho bc . no one is as miserable as they were there thank god#that we are aware of ❓#but still. yesterday seeing dog mention how long this route is already was like RAUGHHGGHRHGE rips my shirt off like a werewolf
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i have no clue what's going on w/ the hiring process for the job offer i got yesterday, but at least it seems like nobody at the post office does either. 🙃
#ctxt#charlie vs mail#got a call from some guy at the regional sorting facility like 'uuh yeah just drop in to your PO whenever for fingerprinting'#so i show up in shorts & a t-shirt as a stop along a multi-errand trip bc my impression was that this is just a part of the background check#woman doing my prints was like 'idk if anyone's here to speak with you today but we can check'#me still thinkin it's just a casual meet/greet 'oh no worries haha! btw i got the job offer before having even 1 interview is that normal?'#she doesn't know but leads me around until we find someone buried under a stack of paperwork at her desk#'hi [redacted!] charlie is here for their interview!'#redacted peers over his monitor like a deer in headlights 'who is here for their what now??? oh uuuhh gimme a minute uuuhhhhh'#i'm sweatinnnmng like i'm wearing my birks i am massively underprepared but ok i guess we're doing this & they already offered me the job so#redacted also seemed to be panicking a lil bc the person who usually does these interviews isn't even in today#we had a moment of 'so we're both utterly blindsided here right?' 'yeah can we reschedule?' 'yes god please let's reschedule'#so i'm going back thursday for an actual interview. after already completing background check & filling out tax paperwork#get home to an email from the dude who called me this morning like 'btw dress business casual for your fingerprinting & bring XYZ'#but still stating nowhere that the implication was that fingerprinting & interview would happen concurrently????#this is a federal institution & the second largest employer in the US. get ur shit together !!!#hoping it's not gonna be a black mark that i showed up in my casual summer clothes without the necessary docs#but tbf to me the expectations were hella unclear like i wasn't even given a point of contact for an onboarding supervisor until today#since they were also drastically underprepared i hope it'll just be water under the bridge & we can properly meet thursday#hands down weirdest hiring/onboarding process i've ever gone through but fuck it we ball
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#[ him <5<5<5<5 !! ]#[ been thinking a lot about him recently hhhh ]#[ i mean i always think about him but YEAH ]#[ unfortunately i'm busyyyyyyyyyy again ]#[ i keep filling my weeks and days with stuff ahaha ]#[ in the past i used to just stay indoors by myself 24/7 ]#[ i gotta get better at taking advantage of the time i have available for writing ]#[ i have so many ideas and plots in my head !!!!! ]#[ my to-do list is a million miles long WELP ]#[ - but also i kinda love it bc i'm never bored - ]#[ anyways !! once i again i must thank you for your patience with me guys! you're so kind and understanding t-t <5 ]#[ - gives out trophys - ]#[ you're the best !! ]#[ hope you're all doing good <5 ]#toby post. ╱ out of character.
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Man, just saw a post about it, but renewed my frustration over work nonsense yesterday
Being like, oh, cool! It's disability pride month! We get to switch the displays in the store! I wanna make a really cool display right up front!!
Getting a cart to go start selecting books from our wide array of children's books, picture books, YA novels, adult fiction, nonfiction, etc that I know feature disabled characters and people and that I've seen sitting on the shelves for a while, our previous book buyer was always suuuuuper vocal about finding books w disabled characters, after all, representation just MATTERED SO MUCH to her,
And then being absolutely dumbfounded when we BARELY HAVE ANYTHING outside of characters w ADHD/Autism. MAYBE anxiety. PERHAPS a character has cancer. THE FAINTEST SUGGESTION of a wheelchair in one book. Huntington's? Question mark? In another? Conditions resulting in disfigurement/amputation? The concept could possibly exist in this book, uhh.. maybe...... anything else? Ha! Not on these shelves I fucking guess?!
Like.... we have a ton of books w queer rep! Different body types! Different skin tones! Teach your toddler about social justice! Transgender characters! Nonbinary characters! The alphabet but we're making it gay! At least one book, I think, with asexual characters! But no, we don't have our self-empowerment books anymore or the little guide to sexuality and disability, we have Buddhist monk advice for anxious people, but nooooo we DON'T have that cool book that talked about disability activism anymore, and definitely not in time for July!
I know she and I were at odds before she left, and I know my specifically putting "National month of..." prompts up on my desk calendar after she expressed it was "so difficult to find out what each month is the month of!" probably really irritated her, but I'm like. Appalled that she hadn't been ordering to restock for disability pride month since she always made such a big deal about having books like that in the store.
#venting#work stuff#she quit at the end of june#two of my coworkers and I are sorta filling in for her role while a replacement is searched for and all that#i know she put in a ton of orders before she left so I'm hoping things start to trickle in#i haven't gone thru the order submissions in detail yet to see what we're expecting#but i'll be doing that later this week#as it is today was dealing with a mess of half unpacked shipments#and correcting little mistakes here and there and leaving instructions for coworkers tomorrow#gotta say i was so... disappointed hunting for those books#i looked at the sad selection of nonfiction and self help stuff I'd found and was like. yeah i think I'd be offended#if i saw these titles all grouped together for the pride display. it just felt bad#i made a halfway decent arrangement for the children's section but it took a lot of title research#and even then like half the titles i saw in recommendation lists looked so cool and i would think#surely we should have THIS one bc it looks like the sorta thing Buyer would have ordered and it seems neat as hell!#but. uh. we would have no order history for it.#hhhrrhhrhrhrgh if i see absolutely nothing in the orders we will be expecting#I'm gonna order a bunch of books#and try to plan out the next couple of monthly themes#hmph! even if I'm not the books person I'm still gonna put in SOME effort!!
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💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 you know that post about creating community if that's what you crave?
I made an enormous pile of choc chip cookies and I batched it out for our upstairs and downstairs neighbours, my ma and my great-uncle across town, and my granddad's old pal and his family, and I just got done delivering them and I feel like 🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽
so alight and alive with it all!!!! I love people! I love them!!! I am so full of fruit and phone numbers I probably won't ever call!
Life can be so unbearably sweet ❤️
#I'm badly depressed so it was a rote mechanical baking exercise yesterday bc I've been meaning to bake sth as a housewarming present#for upstairs for like 2 years now. and they're always so nice to us. and they brought dates from the South with them this time#so I got to do it. finally. and their kid is a big k-pop stan so I got the 👀👀👀👀👀 stare from her but she's super sweet too#and I hope the next Korean she meets is more interesting/less of a fake lol#downstairs (young couple) was happy with me (I watched the cookies disappear in real-time)#my ma and I ate some at the old bazaar while cat-watching which 👌 and then my great-uncle actually finished his!#and then late this evening I went over to the H's who are so chummy and sweet and kept me for an hour#and I got to meet everyone after like 2 years of Mr H telling me his daughter and I would be BFFs#(she's really cool. a single mom working in mech eng? here? the coolest literally)#sooooo yeah that's more socialising than I've done in 2024 put together. and all of them are people I like and wanted to connect with!!!#and I got to do it! I got to talk to all of them and all of them were just so lovely#food continues to be my way of prying the door open and it has yet to fail me :D#I feel whole. Finally. I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my waking hours.#and all it took was 300g of butter and a slab of chocolate. I got to know so many neighbours. it filled a void I've been sick from.#.........:) yeah.#thought
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I've decided now that my requests are open!! It's been forever since they've been opened, but I want to write for others again :33 I'll say now, it might take a bit to write them, but I will get to them!!
Open to romantic and platonic writing, rules and what I write for found here
#🗯️ — ⌗important! . ★#I'm excited to see what ppl request :33#hoping to get some platonic ones!!#I need to add Saiki k to the post tho..#anyways yeah gonna boost it from 3 reqs max to 5#Idk if it'll fill up fast (it never does)#but oh well 🤷♂️🤷♂️
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so my sister is getting me to watch Cobra Kai while I'm visiting home, right
and look. She warned me about the love square. The old man rivalry. All that good stuff. What she did not warn me of, or rather, was not equipped to warn me of(she's never played DR), was the fact that Mondo Owada is a main fucking character
#desperately hoping Hawk does not go the Mondo way and like. die or something#I'm mid-season 3 btw so no spoilers plz :)#but anyway yeah! I'm liking it so far#I think Johnny is my fav rn. Johnny is developing so well he's such a broken man of a protag it's delightful#I can see this 'toxic masculinity to fill the insecurities' thing they've got going with Hawk and. *chef's kiss*#crane-talk#also um. Hawk and Demetri are ex-boyfriend coded#“you're actually gonna hurt me?” “Eli stop it's me!" stop fucking stop it#they were each other's first kiss at one of their sleepovers#ALSO HI WHERE TF DID AISHA GO#she was one of my favs and she just fucking dissipated#yes ik 'she moved away' shut up and let your only black woman be a main character do not get lazy and toss her out when you can't think of#anything for her to do. She has been here since day 1 you're seriously gonna tell me they couldn't keep her in at all? Bullshit#surely they could've had her take a central stance between the increasing aggression of Cobra Kai and Miyagi Do's attempts to stand up for#themselves. And used that to demonstrate that the people within Cobra Kai aren't just doomed to become monsters#like Sam (and Hawk) seem to believe right now#really hoping she's coming back later and that this is being done with a purpose
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha 👍🏻 (🔨🔨)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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lady got passive aggressive with me bc she missed her opportunity to apply
#i was like 'oh yeah we were a couple of weeks ago i'm not sure if we are now'#she came up to me and my trainees and was like 'i didn't know you were hiring'#and she goes 'well i was checking for job listings and i couldn't find any'#i just went 'oh okay that's so weird i'm not sure why it didn't pop up... maybe you can try our website? (she was using indeed before)'#to which she goes 'i was but it was showing me everywhere else but [location]'#i go 'oh sorry maybe we closed the posting by the time you were able to check but we will 100% be hiring for christmas time'#bc i don't want to give her hopes that we'll be hiring again before then (simply bc i don't know)#and she goes 'well i cant wait until christmas' with that karen look on her face#like girl idk what you want ME to do..#we filled the positions we need i'm sorry you missed out#but there really is NOTHING i can do 😭
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#Nothing to see here folks!#Just an old bitch whining and being annoying about stuff - move along! Pay no attention to the hater behind the curtain!#Wrestling is Bad Actually#*Heavy sigh*#I miss wrestling#I really do#I miss watching it and enjoying it and getting excited about it and writing fic about it#But I just can't do any of that anymore. Tony Khan ain't letting me LOL#And I have boring real life adult problems and wrestling used to be my escape from all that but NOT ANYMORE!#It's just really hitting me today how much I'm in Fandom Limbo#I stopped watching AEW months ago because - to put it as diplomatically as possible - it is very much Not For Me anymore#And everything I've seen and heard since then has only confirmed I made the right decision there#But I don't currently have another hyper-fixation to fill the void#So I'm just stuck here desperately waiting for something else to come and save me from this nightmare#And I don't want to be a hater! I used to fucking LOVE AEW and I take no joy in how much I think it sucks nowadays#And I don't wanna be a party pooper either - I see everyone else squeeing about the Bucks or Junglecorpse or MJF and Ospreay or Bryan#And it's just like...I'm glad y'all are having fun - really! But GOOD LORD does none of that appeal to me in the slightest#Most of my faves aren't getting booked - let alone pushed!#And the few that are are even worse off because Tony's booking is SO BAD it makes me unable to give a shit about wrestlers I used to love#I feel like Lieutenant Dan on New Years - everyone else is having a grand ol' time while I'm just sat here like 🙁#I feel like I'm going through the fives stages of grief in regards to fandom at the moment and it is not a good time let me tell ya#So yeah - don't be surprised if I stop being a wrestling blog the second the new Dragon Age game comes out#Save me Bioware! You're my only hope!
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Thank you so much for answering my question! I'm kinda new to fanfiction (not that I didnt know it existed but I literally have never seen or engaged with any until like a month ago lol) and so I just wanted to get your perspective on something I dont really understand yet. I'm autistic so I guess sometimes it's just hard for me to see/imagine characters as anything but how they are in canon, but I understand that it would be totally boring to write fanfic that only follows canon! I kinda see fanfic as that writers version of the character, like that's your specific version of Dabi and other writers have their versions of Dabi and maybe they're completely different 🤔 and I guess in my head it made more sense to me to just make a new character to make them exactly how you want and then you wouldn't have to worry about canon at all lol (because my mind wont let me see characters differently sometimes) but I get it now that you explained :) so if you dont mind me asking in your au's what happened differently in dabi/ touyas life to make him a sexual person? In canon I dont really see Dabi as a sexual person like he couldn't be bothered with relationships or anything sexual, like I almost see him as being asexual. So what kind of changed for him in your au's to make him more sexual and willing to have relationships? And thanks again for taking the time to explain for me, I really appreciate it 😊💕
hello again!! c: oh i’m glad i could help! <3 i mean, ultimately, just like all other fiction, it’s all personal preference. some people only like to read in-canon fic and some people only like to read AUs and some people like both, etc etc etc and it’s all totally and completely fine! i think you seeing fanfic as that specific writer’s version of a character/characters makes complete sense and, in a way, is also true—we are each expressing our own interpretations of him! so i absolutely get where you’re coming from there c: and i think your reasoning for being confused makes sense, too!
oh that’s a good question! unfortunately, i don’t have an answer for you, though, because i personally have always interpreted canon dabi as someone who would use casual sex (and drugs!) to try (and fail) to fill the gaping void in his chest. it is 100% fine if you disagree with me, and i will always encourage anyone to interpret any character however they’d like to. the beauty with art and fiction is that there’s technically no wrong answer to a lot of this stuff—if you personally see dabi as someone who is asexual, then he is asexual! if i see him as a sexual being, then he is a sexual being! we can have our own conflicting views on him and who he is, because he isn’t real, and he can be whoever we want him to be. does that make sense? let me know if you have any other questions or something seems unclear and i will try my best to further explain myself! <3
#i also believe that a lot of our interpretations of art + characters come from our own personal experiences#so for example: as someone who has suffered a lot of similar trauma to dabi i *also* used vices to try and fill the gaping hole the trauma#left in my chest. as such it makes sense that i might see or understand dabi as doing something similar!#sometimes we will use these characters as tools and vehicles to work through and process trauma etc.#we find a lot of comfort and catharsis through these characters right?#i really hope this makes sense and i'm articulating myself properly#but i am always open to further discussion if you need it! <3#my main point though is: there is no right or wrong way to interpret a specific character#they are whoever you want them to be#your interpretation is just as valid as anyone else's interpretation#don't ever let anyone else tell you differently. as long as we can be respectful toward others even if we disagree with them or don't share#their interpretation; that is what matters#the only thing that isn't okay is someone being rude toward you just because you don't share their personal interpretation#anyway! yeah! i am so sleepy so i hope this isn't all just a jumbled mess HAHAHA#have a fabulous day anon and stay hydrated!!! <3#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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