#yeah I am SLOWLY touching the inbox but I'm doing my best! 🥲

[rfaromance]

Hii! I read that you're most comfortable with writing for 707 so I was wondering if I could request 707 comforting you after you get ghosted by a close friend?

Totally understand if not and congrats on finishing your exams!

Disappointed, but not surprised.

You would be lying if you claimed this was the first time a "friend" slipped away from you, or if you optimistically declared it would be the last.

However much or little you loved your friends never seemed to matter. You couldn't control them, after all, and you certainly had no say in who would stay and who would go.

This one stung more than usual, though.

As much as you wanted to believe this friendship was different, that this was someone who genuinely cared about you...

Just like the rest of them, huh?

You slumped down onto the couch and picked up the TV remote. Some background noise would hopefully help prevent you from thinking too much. But as you flipped through channels, everything seemed to remind you of them in some way.

'We used to watch this show together.'

'That character looks like them, a little.'

'Weren't they looking to buy a new one of these?'

Eventually you shut the television off and threw the remote on the ground, finding yourself more frustrated and exhausted than before. Wordlessly you turned onto your side and buried your face in the nearest pillow, praying you'd wake up to a text or call or email or DM or anything--

"Are you alright, kitten?"

A familiar voice by your ear snapped you out of your numb trance. You whipped your head around to see golden eyes, warm like sun-kissed honey, peering at you. Normally you could detect a speck of spice in his sweet gaze, waiting to tease you, but this time you could only detect deep affection and concern. "Mmhm," you mumbled non-committally, before lying back down to shove your face in the pillow again.

"Don't lie like that, honey butter."

"Sorry, is my posture bad?"

"No, I mean-- you can lie down on the couch, but don't... pretend you're okay when you clearly aren't." He sighed and sat on the arm of the couch, so he was perched just above your curled-up form. "You don't have to talk about it, but... I want to help if I can."

You hesitated before replying. You could feel beads of sweat beginning to form on your face, and you weren't sure if they were from anxiety or from the lack of air between your head and the pillow. "I don't want to bother you with my problems."

Even without looking at him, you could tell that Saeyoung was making a befuddled and exasperated expression. "As if I didn't drag you into all of my problems? Into a literal cult? Into an apartment with a bomb inside?"

When he put it that way, you did feel a little silly. "I just... I miss a friend of mine. That's all." You sighed and clutched the sides of the pillow, digging your fingers in to ground you. "I haven't heard from them in months. Even though I send messages every other week... and I know they're alive and well... I... This one was different. I thought we really had a bond." You gritted your teeth as you felt tears beginning to pool in the corners of your eyes. "But no, they just left me behind... without a word.... If I did something wrong, couldn't they tell me? Can't someone tell me for once, so I don't mess it up again with the next friend? To just flee without a trace... did they hate me that much?"

You stopped, inhaling sharply for a moment to catch your breath and hopefully calm down. But the fresh air only seemed to aggravate your eyes further, and you had to smash the pillow against your face to try and soak up the tears you knew were coming down.

Saeyoung was silent for a while, which was unusual for him unless he was really serious. "Sometimes... people think the safest option is to leave wordlessly. They think it will hurt less."

You choked back a sob. "You're a special case, Mister Secret Agent."

He chuckled at that, but it was a hollow sound. A sound composed only of echoes of regrets, rather than full of life and mirth. "Perhaps. But speaking as someone who has ghosted people all over the world... friends, acquaintances, business partners, classmates, the cutest kittens at that one cat café in-- Oops, I've already said too much. The point is!" He tapped his fingers on the top of your shoulder like a drumroll, building the tension before revealing his point. "Sometimes... it's not what you did. Someone may have circumstances in their own life that makes them leave. They may be struggling, they may be moving far away, they may feel ashamed of something they said, they may be overworked... It doesn't mean they hate you."

You wanted to believe his words. They made sense, and the logical part of your brain was latching onto them desperately. But that couldn't satisfy the ache in your heart. "But why... why does it always happen to me? Why do I see their posts on social media showing they're still happy, maybe even happier without me?"

He sighed and moved his hand to the top of your head, stroking your hair with slow, rhythmic movements. "I don't know, kitten," he confessed. "I can't imagine anyone feeling happier without you in their life, once they've met you. Maybe you just shine so brightly that they don't feel worthy to be in your presence." He chuckled again, this time with more life in the sound. Perhaps even a bit of embarrassment.

"You're a star, my love. You glow so brightly that your light reaches across galaxies and pierces hearts. Sometimes... we mere mortals get so overwhelmed that we have to step back, because we want to become worthy of that shine."