#yay thank you for the ask!!!!!! 💜 I hadn't thought about hxh in a long while so it was fun to stretch my brain

[skyborneveggie]

Ooh for the 'send me a character' game:

Part of me wants to say Killua, because of your recent hxh reblogs...

But I'd of course also like to hear more Matsuda thoughts from you. So take your pick-- whichever you're more in the mood to talk about :)

Ahhh two of my favorites 🥺, can I do both? :>

First Matsuda! Since this has been primarily a dn blog for a while now ahaha.

favorite thing about them: I think out of everything, what I find to be most admirable about Matsuda is his ability to persevere & continue on despite knowing that others see him as useless; and despite himself even having internalized that opinion of himself. It's bittersweet, the way he tries to let it roll off his shoulders & not let it dissuade his enthusiasm for his work. He tries so hard to be like "if this is who I am, then so be it," and then embrace that role for all it's worth in the name of the objective.

least favorite thing about them: Does this mean least favorite thing about how they're written; or thing I'd like least about them if they were a real person? Regardless, the one & only scene of Matsuda that I don't really care for is the one where he seems gleeful at (what he thinks is) Light cheating on Misa with Takada.

favorite line: "I have to kill him. This guy has got to die!" CHILLS every time.

brOTP: Not exactly brotp, but I do enjoy the father/son dynamic between Matsu & Soichiro. Also, another not-brotp, but I think the Matsuda & Mikami dynamic could be interesting, as they both come to terms with the mutual loss of their pedestalled icon. Perhaps a wary & melancholic understanding, that they can't find with others.

OTP: I loveee toxic Matsulight. I love the idea of Light being attracted to Matsuda through a subconscious sense of empathy over their similarities, but also being in denial that such similarities exist. I also love the idea of post-DN Ide patching Matsuda up after Light's imposed destruction, taking care of him & helping him heal. Honestly, I could ship Matsuda with anyone because to me he is just so lovable~

nOTP: Sayu/Matsuda. Just because for personal reasons, I want Sayu to escape the narrative 🥺. She still has her entire life ahead of her, and I want her to have the chance to branch out & heal & become a new person. I don't want her to feel like she has no choice but to cling to the people she knew before everything changed, as a way of trying to hold onto a previous, untraumatized version of herself. I don't want her entire life to be mired in decisions based in trauma & grief.

random headcanon: Idr who it was, but someone mentioned they headcannoned Matsuda as secretly really enjoying being Misa's manager & that he considered switching careers after the Kira case. I really like this one, I feel like Matsuda was actually a really good manager. He had the right amt of enthusiasm & booked Misa some really good gigs.

unpopular opinion: I'm not sure if it's an unpopular opinion, but how Matsuda is highly influenceable & lacks conviction/faith in his own ideals! To quote you since you summarized it so succinctly, he's "heavily motivated to act in the way that makes the people he looks up to proud, rather than his choices flowing primarily from his own principles necessarily." I feel that because of this, while he is very sweet & wholesome, he tends to edge more towards morally neutral than morally good for me, and has a capacity to be swayed towards bad.

song i associate with them: I'm not very good with songs for characters, but perhaps Closer to Fine by Indigo Girls for post-dn Matsu? A bittersweet but hopeful song about trying to find your way out of the muddled grey and black and white, and trying to come to terms with the fact that there may no answers as to the "why".

favorite picture of them: How could it not be this lol

Now Killua!!! Omg thank you for asking about him, I love him very much & have cosplayed him before <3

favorite thing about them: It's hard to put into words, but I really appreciate Killua's vulnerability, both physically & emotionally, especially in juxtaposition with his combative strength. I find it poignant to the themes of hxh that Killua's special combative abilities have come at the expense of his personal & bodily autonomy, and that this is shown through implication to be the terrible thing that it is. I also really love that despite trauma, he is able to let himself just be kid & form meaningful connections & allows himself to find joy 💜

least favorite thing about them: Related to my favorite thing, I find it incredibly frustrating that Killua is incapable of letting any vulnerability leak out in front of Gon!!!! Killua has a lot going on internally & goes through a couple breakdowns followed by moments of self-realization, but always away from Gon's perception. He doesn't even tell Gon he tore his brother's nen needle out of his forehead iirc 😭. Part of it, I think, is that he doesn't want Gon to treat him any differently, he just wants to pretend he's a normal kid with no trauma to weigh him down & have fun freely. Which is completely understandable. And he's also just a kid, who doesn't fully understand or know how to express emotions. But it is very painful to watch him go through so much internal turmoil while holding onto the image of Gon as his guiding light; while Gon has no idea anything is happening in his friend's mind at all. 😭😭😭 (There is a very good post here about their miscommunication.)

favorite line: "Yep... I'm so humble :3", when he's demonstrating the difference in power between Hisoka, Gon, and himself. Adorable moment!

brOTP: Killua & Leorio get along just like squabbling siblings lmao, but you can tell they have a fondness for eachother. I feel like Leorio is the older brother Killua should have had 🥺🥺🥺

OTP: Killugon is so dear & sweet! I feel like their friendship is built up so masterfully; where two people who it feels like shouldn't get along, fit together perfectly. And then they seem to keep on going perfectly, until all of a sudden the cracks come out, and they don't anymore, and they both have to grow up a little to fix it.

nOTP: Killupika. I don't hate it, but I can't really see it either. From my two watchthroughs, Killua & Kurapika's interactions didn't seem to leave much of an impression on me because I cannot remember them 😅

random headcanon: I enjoy the fic trope that the reason Killua is the Zoldyck heir because of his white hair. Usually I've seen it in conjuction with white hair being symbolic of containing stronger power, but I like it best when that's not the case & it is solely tradition for the white-haired child to be the heir. I find it very amusing and canon-type silly lol.

unpopular opinion: I have only seen the anime so perhaps it is different in the manga. But I remember thinking on my second watchthrough that while Gon said some very harsh things during the palace invasion, Killua's insecurities during this arc started before then when Gon simply said "let's go," and Killua didn't know if he meant it as a friend or teammate. Tbh I think that insecurity is something Killua needs to work on on his own for a while, & that the temporary break might be good for them. They are both two very traumatized kids who have problems with boundaries & communication. I feel like they need a little time to figure out their own needs & wants & identities, without imposing or being imposed upon by each other.

song i associate with them: Again I'm not very good with songs for characters, but maybe White Foxes by Suzanne Sundfor, as a visceral song about wanting to leave your constrictive gilded cage and embrace a more organic, freeing existence.

favorite picture of them: Early style sketchy Killua <3