#yami sometimes thinks in hino my beloved headcanon

[loosesodamarble]

The Heartless Witch and the Captain of the Black Bulls

Summary: With the paperwork finalized, Yami decides on his first recruit. Yami goes to tell Josele and makes a promise to take care of those close to him. Genre: general, slight angst? Word count: ~1500

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“Mm-hm… The Black Bulls, as you said earlier. Oh and the final version of your emblem turned out marvelously!” Julius remarked as he looked over Yami’s formal submission to start his own squad. “You vice captain is… Nacht Faust?” His eyes shot up to meet Yami’s. “That’s quite a choice considering that he’s not established in the ranks at all. And there’s the matter of the house’s current standing.”

“Eh, you know me,” Yami said with a shrug. “Can’t really say I care about what other people think.”

“Right, right,” Julius chuckled. He finished reviewing the paper and looked at Yami again. “Everything’s in order. What comes next is establishing a base and finding squad members. The entrance exam isn’t for a while but you can still recruit outside of that setting.”

“That’s good,” Yami answered, “because I already have a recruit in mind.” He spoke firmly. With resolve. “Julius, I want to make Josele a Black Bull.”

At that, Julius’s eyes went wide and his mouth fell open.

“Yami, I know that you’re good friends with her but…” Julius rested his hands flat on the desk. “Can you handle the responsibility of having her in your squad? Her dealing with Forbidden Magic has only been overlooked so far by the Magic Parliament because I’ve vouched for her.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’ll just tell ‘em to stick their rulebook up their ass,” Yami replied. His smug grin melted away to a serious frown. “Julius, Jo isn’t going to get better by staying here.” He felt a sting behind his eyes but blinked it away as much as he could. “I gotta help her as much as I can. So please…”

Julius’s stern eyes softened. He rose from his seat, rounded the desk, and walked to stand in front of Yami. After placing his hands on the newly appointed captain’s shoulders, he said, “You two best take care of each other, got it?”

Yami nodded. Doing otherwise would have defeated the purpose of Yami’s plan.

…

The ruins of House Faust.

It felt like some sick joke knowing Josele started living in the abandoned manor with Nacht after Thomas had died. Then again, she wasn’t wanted anywhere else. Her soulless expression and lifeless aura scared not only the neighbors near her childhood home but also the members of the Grey Deer. Really, House Faust was the only place where she could go. She came back to it, even after the tragedy.

Yami shook his head free of his depressing thoughts and knocked on the front door. He waited a minute with no answer. He knocked again. And after another minute, the door opened.

“Oh, so it’s you, Dark Mage,” Josele greeted with an empty voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Needed to talk to you,” Yami answered. “Care to let me in?”

Josele stepped aside and Yami walked in.

The foyer was bathed in a dim atmosphere. Less to do with the lighting and more to do with the state of disrepair the place was left in. Despite Josele and Nacht inhabiting the space, it wasn’t a home. There was no comfort. There was no warmth.

“What did you need to talk about?” Josele asked, also without warmth.

“Not even gonna offer me a drink? Poor host behavior,” Yami muttered, trying to shrug off her coldness. The old you woulda said “How about I get you something to drink before we chat?”

“Did you want a drink?” Josele’s expression didn’t shift in the slightest.

“Nah. I won’t overstay my welcome.” Yami fished through his pocket for his cigarettes and lighter. “You mind if I smoke?”

“I do mind.”

Yami almost didn’t catch it but Josele’s monotonous voice softened when she said that. Even now, she could care. Just barely.

“Right then…” Yami removed his hand from his pocket and adjusted his stance. “Anyways. Came here to let you know that I got my squad approved.”

“That must be an honor.”

C’mon, Jo. Not even a “congratulations”? “Yup. You said it. And now that I’ve got a squad, I need squad members.” Yami reached into the bag he brought with him and pulled out two black robes. “Nacht is gonna be my vice captain. And you, well, you get to be a regular Knight on the squad.”

“I…” Josele stared at the robes then up at Yami. “Don’t understand.”

“What don’t you get? Nacht’s gonna be my second-in-command. And you’re gonna be a cool senior squad member,” Yami said before extending his arm further towards Josele. “Go on. They’re for you and Nacht.”

“I don’t understand why you’d want me,” Josele stated, her gaze lowering. “I’ve stopped being dead weight but there’s still other Magic Knights with more accomplishments than me. I mainly use my weapons because the magic I do use can’t be wielded freely. And people say I’m difficult to work with. Logically speaking, I’d be a detriment to your squad instead of an asset.”

Josele didn’t look defeated or sorry for herself. She stopped looking like anything affected her years ago. But even when she spoke of “logic,” her words betrayed feelings that should’ve been choked by her curse. Deep down inside, Josele was still unsure and scared. She still looked down on herself as the woman who failed to save someone immeasurably precious to her.

Because of that, Yami made his choice.

Yami threw one of the two robes over Josele’s head. The fabric fluttered down and rested on her left shoulder. The same way she wore her Grey Deer robe.

Josele blinked. Again, her expression didn’t change. Yami could still tell that she had to take a second to register what he’d done though.

“Don’t sweat the details, Jo,” Yami chuckled as he watched Josele grasp at the fabric. “I don’t care about accomplishments. What matters is that you kick plenty of ass and I like having you around. Oh, and you agree to go out drinking with me whenever I ask. Haha…”

“I still don’t get it,” Josele whispered. However, she clutched the black robe she’d been gifted. “But if you insist then I see no point in arguing.”

“Good to hear. You’re officially a Black Bull now,” Yami said with a grin, one that was hard to pull off, and a nod. He passed the cloak meant for Nacht to Josele. “Make sure that shady bastard gets this. Wrestle it onto him if you have to. He’s my vice captain whether he likes it or not.”

“Okay.”

With the conversation basically over, Yami moved to leave.

But he stopped at the door. He glanced over his shoulder. Josele had begun walking away, deeper into the manor. Deeper into a gloomy shell of a house, like herself.

Without thinking, Yami ran up behind Josele and tugged her into a hug. For a moment, he felt the firmness of her muscles as she tensed in surprise. She relaxed after a few seconds, having registered that there was no threat, only Yami hugging her with one arm. She didn’t return the embrace, merely stood still.

A shaking exhale was heard.

Yami wasn’t sure if it came from him or Josele. Not that it mattered.

He felt the urge to hug Josele tighter but Yami couldn’t bring himself to. Josele already felt so fragile. He feared even a brief squeeze might shatter her.

So he just held her.

“Oniichan…” A quiet voice whispered as a small figure clung to Yami’s shirt. “Itsumo-itsumo… Soba ni ite, mamotte… Onegai…”

Gomen… Yami bit his cheek. Kimi o mamorenakatta, ore wa… Kedo. Konkai, daijina hito o mamorou. “Don’t worry, Jo,” Yami whispered as he continued to hold her. “This squad will be a place where you can belong. Things will get better. I swear.”

Yami let Josele go.

When Josele looked up at him, her eyes were damp.

“I will do my best for your squad, Dark Mage. And good luck with recruiting others,” Josele still had a hollow voice. The wish of good luck, though, had a softness that felt like the person Josele used to be.

“Heh, a guy like me doesn’t need luck,” Yami bluffed and gave a smirk. “I’ve got good judgment instead.” He clapped Josele on the shoulder.

Then, he walked out the front door as he’d intended to a moment ago.

Yami walked through the forest surrounding the mansion alone, head down and thoughts stewing.

The squad that Yami was going to pull together would be for people like himself. People like Nacht. And like Josele.

One day, Yami would find people who could accept Josele for who she truly was. Who would feel her caring warmth through the ice she’d sealed her heart in. Who would see through the mask she’d put on. There had to be people out there who could make her smile again. Maybe not the same grin that Morgen brought to her face. But any smile would be better than that passionless gaze Josele had since she cursed herself.

It wasn’t only Josele’s happiness that Yami hoped to see restored. But everything. Her anger at injustice. Her playfulness with friends. Gratitude for her weapons being repaired. Annoyance at strange noble customs. Sorrow for lost loved ones.

Loved ones whose names and faces she couldn’t recall anymore.

All the emotions that were part of Josele… They would come back to her.

Yami had to believe.