#yall have to deal with my Gatsby bullshit

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

“And all of this is captured by the greedy eyed photographer who stalks me like a vulture!” -Nick Carraway, The Met

(Non Text Version and ramblings under the cut)

Back to our regularly scheduled Gatsby Posting as of late. This time the song of inspiration is The Met from The Great Gatsby Musical! I would be a lying fool if I said the symbolism in this song has not had an iron grip on my writer brain from the very start. I adore the blatant spotlight it places on Nick and his constant being overshadowed and almost hunted by those around him throughout the story. Seriously, whoever wrote these lyrics, you are great. Also Noah J Ricketts an absolutely amazing Nick I just have to say that. I will absolutely be continuing to loop this soundtrack and am actively trying to plan a trip to NY to see the show live because if I don’t my sorry English nerd self will perish. Until my next post!

Non text version:

[two-nguyen-blog]

Jaded

Hey Rin,

I have been feeling pretty jaded the past couple of weeks. Its upsetting that Gwen wants to change her name to something ridiculous. Additionally, I am afraid now that Gwen and her fiance has new puppies they are either showcasing them on social media to get more hearts and likes while ignoring their already current two pets. I am a little upset about her and her lifestyle as well with Rae. She has not responded and I am starting to think that I will have to pay it off and just hope that she will pay me back slowly through Venmo or something. It is upsetting cause I know she is deliberately ignoring my texts and its upsetting me deeply that I am not able to do anything about it. It is becoming less frustrating and more hurtful because Rae complains no one cares and is there for her and since I called out on her bullshit now she refuses to help me out of pettiness. 

Its like the Great Gatsby. Did you ever read the Great Gatsby? If not we should watch the movie or you should read the book. You can finish it in a day with your reading speed. But there is a line that goes: "They were careless people, Tom and Daisy-- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness." Gwen and Rae are not cruel or malicious, they're just careless-- they don't care too much about anything even their family. To live without a care in the world is supposed to be the dream, right?  Everyone wants a care-free life. But in the Great Gatsby it shows how not caring is in some ways is worst than outright cruelty would be. At times I wish Gwen and Rae were straight up cruel rather than careless if that makes sense then I would be able to cut ties. 

I got to spend time with V and it made me really happy. I am glad we had V live with us for a short time. I got this crafting and D&D group started that isn't toxic. I am learning to not be so methodical about how I feel and focus on what I think is right. Hopefully, I will make better decisions in the long run?

Do you think having B in your group will continue? I mean is she acting like a friend or maybe you guys need to have a mediator of some sort? Someone who is unbiased to have yall put it out there so the air is clear? At times I feel after that whole thing that happened I think maybe it would be good to air out some thoughts or write letters to one another explaining how they feel? What does S and P feel about the whole situation? 

I have talked to H. She finally came back from South Korea and I think it was good for her? I was supposed to hang out with her last week but she was sick and we might hang out again this week, but Gwen is not responding as per usual. 

I am cutting back my hours for taxes, but I am nervous about it since J has not paid rent yet and it is the 5th of March. I did bring it up on how she wanted to make payments, but we will see. I think she did not budget as well as she wanted to. I adore J but at the same time, her lifestyle choices can be a bit difficult to deal with. Well hopefully when I move I will have a bigger kitchen and I have decided to downsize when I move. Get a one bedroom or something so its cheaper and I can pay it off faster. 

Hopefully, the next few months will get better. I know things are getting pretty crazy, but I am glad that you are going to CSU. CSU was my number one choice for you to be honest. It has a better engineering program and you will learn a lot. Also its good that your friends are all going there. If you guys need help with adulting please do not hesitate to ask. I am more than happy to. 

I love you so much. I am really proud of you and its kinda crazy how grounded you are at your age. If you need anything do not hesitate to ask.

Respectfully,

Hue