#yall gotta stop moving the bar just to make an excuse for your one particular thing which is 🤓☝️ actually fine

[sandumilfshou]

honestly convinced half the people with "proshipper dni" in their bio/carrd dont actually know what ""proshipping"" means bc wym you have proship dni in the bio of your batman/joker themed blog??

[thatssonanii]

Deja Vú (2)

Florian Munteanu/OC

Its probably pretty awful but it was stuck in my head 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

After two weeks with her nieces their mother had finally picked them up from Angel. She didn't offer an excuse or extend a thank you but Angel wasn't expecting one either. She still checked on them while they were home because she knew her brother would want her to.

After work Angel decided to go to the hookah bar down the street from her house to relax. Her another friends usually went their together but they were all working but she didn't mind going alone.

She looked around the room as she sat in a booth waiting for a waitress. The room was dimly lit which is why she chose to sit at a booth with a small hanging light over it. Moments later, a brown skin girl dressed in black short shorts and a fitted black tee came to her table placing the hookah on it. She put fresh cubes at the top then smiled.

"Here you go. Its jungle juice flavored, love."

Angel looked at her strangely and took the hose from her, "Um ... this isn't mine. I didn't order this."

The waitress smiled. "It was from another customer. He asked me to send it to you."

"Oh no thank you. I'm good."

"Uh, no, I think you should keep it. Its the guy on the couch over there," The waitress explained pointing discreetly in the direction.

Rolling her eyes, Angel looked at who was on the sofa. When she did she spotted the man she had bumped into weeks ago sitting wide legged with the hookah hose in his hand. She smiled and sat back in the booth.

"Can you do me a favor and take it over to sit on his table? I'm gonna sit with him."

The waitress nodded waiting for Angel to get up and follow her. When she got to the table she sat beside him, turning her body sideways so she could look at him.

"Jungle juice?"

He laughed taking a pull from the hose.

"Seemed fitting. It got you here, didn't it?"

"I guess it did," she hummed picking up her own hose, "Why is it fitting?"

"Closest thing to jungle fever, no?"

Angel laughed for the first time in a while. She shook her head taking a pull.

"What do you think?" He asked watchign her facial expressions.

"Minty and fruity. I like it."

He nodded. "I have good taste. Looks like you do as well."

The two sat for another two hours talking about nothing in particular. They'd gone through four refreshers before Angel's phone vibrated on the table. She saw her nieces' picture pop up and answered putting her hand over her other ear.

"What's up, Nyla?" She asked quickly.

"Auntie, come get us, please."

"Why? Whats wrong?"

"Mama not here and her boyfriend got people in the house. They doin drugs, Auntie. I had to lock us in Nia's room."

Angel took a deep breath before answering. "Alright, I'm on my way. Stay in the room till I get there."

When they hung up, Angel looked over and started to call his name realizing she didn't know what it was.

"We've been sitting here and I don't even know you're name."

He leaned in close so she could hear him, "Florian."

She smiled and stuck her hand out to him which he took. His hand swallowed hers. "Well, Florian, I'm Angel."

"Hmm.... Angel? Never thought I'd see on walk the earth." He responded cooly slowly letting her hand fall from his.

"Cute," she laughed, "But I need to go, my nieces need me. "

Florian flagged the waitress down, "Give me a second to pay. I'll go with you."

"You don't gotta do that, Florian. I assume you were just apologizing for bumping me. All is forgiven."

After handing the waitress two hundred dollar bills, he laughed under his breath and stood up. He offered his hand to her which she took.

"Not what I was doing. Sounded like you were upset, I want to make sure all is okay."

Figuring that arguing wouldn't work, Angel followed him outside. He walked her to her car then told her to follow him to his building so he could drop his car off.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Your nieces okay?" He asked fifteen minutes into their drive.

"As long as they're in their room, they are."

"Is there a problem where they live?"

Angel nodded turning into the neighborhood. "Yeah, their mama got shit for brains."

Florian laughed at the tone of her voice. He understood the seriousness but to hear her so upset was sort of amusing to him after she'd been so happy and carefree at the bar.

"Something funny?"

"Yeah, the way you said that. You sound pissed."

"Cause I am," she snorted. "Stop making me wanna laugh."

When they pulled up to the house, Angel parked across the street and killed her engine. She saw the cars parked in front of the house and shook her head.

"You mind coming in with me to get them?"

Florian shook his head and started to get out, "Not at all. Come on."

The door was unlocked when they got to the porch so they walked on in. Florian walked closely behind her looking around the small house. Angel went straight to the living room she spotted 6 men and 2 women sitting around it.

"Chanda know you doin this shit in her house, Rod?" Angel asked loudly.

Rod jumped then scoffed when he realized who it was. "Man, gone somewhere with all that. Take ya bougie ass on."

"Yeah, after I get my nieces I will. I don't know why she let your dumbass have a key anyway." Angel fussed turning to leave the living room.

"I don't know why she gave you a key either, bitch. Airways messing shit up."

Angel started to turn around but Florian stopped her telling her to grab her nieces. She knocked softly on the bedroom door then called their names softly promoting them to open the door.

"Come on. We leaving, yall. Yall got what yall need?"

Nyla grabbed both their bookbags then her little sister's hand and walked out the bedroom. Shaking her head, Angel followed them down the short hallway and found Rod pinned against the wall by Florian. She gave Nylah the keys telling her to go get in her sub then rushed to Florian pulling his arm to no avail.

"Let him go. Its okay."

"Its not," he said simply, "Apologize to her."

Rod stuttered out an apology prompting Florian to let him go. Nodding, Angel pulled her new friend out of her sister's house to the suv.

"Girls, this is Florian. Florian, these are my nieces, Nia and Nylah." Angel said pulling off from the house. "We're gonna take him home then get food. Okay?"

Florian turned in his seat to smile at them. "Nice to meet you, girls."

"You our uncle? We never had one and we want one." Nia said smiling.

Angel sucked her teeth, "Nia, hush. That's not your business."

"Correction," Nyla added, "You never had a uncle, Nia. I did. But Auntie said he wasn't shit so he had to go."

"Nyla! Watch your mouth!"

Florian laughed turning back around in his seat, "I like them. They're funny."

"We like you too, Uncle Flo!" Nia squealed. "You come over for dinner?"

"Sure, I'd love too."

Angel side eyed him as she drove, knowing this was another losing argument.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

After picking up some soul food, they all went back to Angel's house to eat. She sent her nieces upstairs to bathe and change before they ate leaving Florian and her in the kitchen. Her phone rung while she fixed their plates, she answered it putting it on speaker.

"What, Chanda?"

"You been to my house?"

Angel sucked her teeth. "You know good and damn well I've been there. What do you want?"

"I want you to stay the hell.outta my house when I'm not there. Every time Nyla lying ass call you, ya bougie ass come runnin. Aint shit happen."

Angel put down the spoon she was holding and stared at her phone. "She didn't say anything happened other than Rod had people over there with drugs so what are you talking about?"

Chanda paused for a second then spoke, "Oh well don't worry about that then. But you heard what I said stop running over here aint shit wrong with them. They just spoiled cause of you."

"My nieces aren't liars and I'm always gon pick them up when they ask. You need to worry about leaving them there with Rod ass." Angel fussed rolling her neck as if Chanda could see her.

Chanda sucked her teeth. "You know what since you think you know everything and you and ya stupid ass brother think you can raise them better than I can then you keep they asses. I aint want them no way, lyin ass lil children."

"Whatver, Chanda. Thats fine, they would rather be here anyway."

Angel hung up the phone without waitng for a response and put her face in her hands trying to calm herself down. Florian, who she'd forgotten about in the midst of the argument, came around the island and wrapped his arms around him to comfort her. He rocked them from side to side letting her cry on his chest.

"So we live here now?" Nia asked softly from the doorway.

Angel pulled away from the hug wiping her face and pushed her hair behind her ears. She went over to both of her nieces, who'd been standing there since the tail end of the conversation.

"Yeah, I guess yall do. Is that okay?" She asked both of them.

Nyla shrugged, "Took long enough. Been tryna move here for months."

Nia hugged her aunt's legs smiling. "I love it here! We get to live with you forever!"

Angel hugged her back laugjing softly, "What about when ya daddy comes back?"

"Then he can come live here!"

Nyla laughed going to sit to the table, "No, Daddy said we getting our own house plus Auntie and Uncle Flo need their space."

Nia pulled away from the hug and ran to the table to her sister.

"Space for what?"

"To make our cousins, duh, Nia."

Angel rolled her eyes playfully when she heard Florian laughing. "Okay, okay, lets eat and stop talking about cousins."

"But I can still be their uncle," Florian asked playfully as he walked over to the table to sit down.

[askrology]

Tough Love.. The Dating Advice Yall Bitches Need for 2018

Aries (March 21st to April 19th)

In 2018, you need to slow the hell down and stop running from your problems.

Hell, you’re not running; you’re sprinting. Instead of addressing the pain in your life and in your heart, you pretend it doesn’t exist. You are always filling your days with distractions. You never allow yourself to just be still because you’re afraid what will happen if you’re left alone with your own thoughts. You’re afraid of acknowledging the void. In 2018, it’s time to face your self-destructive habits head-on and change your life. It’s time to stop drowning your issues in vodka, almost relationships, and work. Face the bullshit head-on, and then watch yourself (and your life) flourish.

Taurus (April 20th to May 20th)

In 2018, you need to learn to be wrong every now and then.

Because there’s nothing more you hate than being wrong, is there? Hate to break it to you, Taurus, but you are wrong at times; in fact, you are probably wrong a lot. And this isn’t because you’re a failure, it’s because you’re a human being. It’s in our DNA to fuck up, to not know everything, to lose. And that’s okay. In 2018, do yourself and your relationships a favor and admit when you’ve made a mistake. Learn to hear your partner or friend out when you’re arguing and see things from their point of view, instead of just your own. It’s going to be uncomfortable as hell at first, but it’s the only way to not stay stagnant and to improve your relationships and how others see you.

Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st)

In 2018, you need to quit being so damn inconsistent.

Keep the plans you make, stop ghosting people, and learn to actively pursue your goals. One of your biggest downfalls is your apparent inability to be consistent. And while this is definitely a weakness, it’s not something you can’t work on. You can learn to enjoy routine. You can learn to start working towards one specific thing without feeling like your skin is crawling, or dating one person you like without fearing someone “better” is out there. Try it in 2018. It’ll be good for you.

Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd)

In 2018, you need to stop using “trust issues” as an excuse to not let anyone in.

Because here’s the truth: trust is scary. We are all afraid of getting hurt and being let down by someone we love. Trusting someone is inherently vulnerable. That will never change, no matter how much you work through your “issues.” It will always feel uneasy. You need to take the leap in your relationships and put your faith in someone else, even if that means you get hurt. Because you know what? You can heal from that, and trust again. You’re more resilient than you realize. Stop acting like you’re not.

Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd)

In 2018, you need to stop expecting everyone in your life to be perfect all the goddamn time.

Repeat after me, Leo: No one is perfect. So stop expecting them to be. You tend to hold people to unrealistically high standards, having astronomical expectations for your friends, family, and love interests to fulfill your wants and needs. But people have their own lives, problems, and interests. They can’t all bend over backward for you all the time. Learn to be more compassionate and understanding. It’ll go a long way in 2018.

Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd)

In 2018, you need to stop distracting yourself with others’ problems and actually focus on yourself and what you need to work on for once.

People aren’t projects, Virgo. They’re just people. You can’t save them or fix them, you can only love them. Having said that, you need to stop focusing so much on other people and what’s going on in their lives and start paying more attention to your own. You’re constantly feeling burned out because you don’t really take care of yourself as much as you should. You know what’s a great solution to fix that? Some goddamn self-care. In 2018, take a break from playing therapist or fixer and just do you for a while. Your sanity will thank you.

Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd)

In 2018, you need to stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself.

Make the changes you want and stop sitting around and complaining. Just do something already! Thinking a ton about how things “shouldn’t” be a particular way doesn’t change shit. It just prolongs the problem and procrastinates action. Acknowledge what isn’t working, address your shortcomings, and get moving to make your life better and yourself happier. Enough of the damn wallowing in 2018.

Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd)

In 2018, you really gotta work on that jealousy problem of yours.

Seriously, it’s a bad look. Just because someone else is successful doesn’t mean you’re unsuccessful. Two people can both be attractive, believe it or not. Your girlfriend talking to another guy at the bar doesn’t usually mean shit, so stop worrying so damn much and being so incredibly insecure with your own strengths that no one else can have them either. Be more confident in yourself and learn to celebrate the good in others. It’ll feel better. Trust me.

Sagittarius (November 23rd to December 21st)

In 2018, you need to work on being more patient.

There’s a reason they say patience is a virtue. The ability to wait gracefully and delay gratification falls into so many areas in our lives, be it our health, work, love life, etc. Feeling the need to rush everything along only hurts the process and also takes away some beautiful moments between what could be and what is. Waiting won’t kill you, Sagittarius. Let relationships happen as they will. Stop trying to rush love. Let personal growth come as it may and pay attention to the discomfort you experience while waiting for everything to come together. That’s where the growth happens.

Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th)

In 2018, stop being so damn unforgiving.

The world isn’t out to get you, Capricorn. Stop holding grudges and writing people off for making mistakes or hurting you, because, most times, it’s not malicious or intentional. Everyone is simply doing the best they can with what they have at a given time. No one is perfect. Stop expecting them to be, it’s just unfair. Learn to let shit go and you’ll feel a lot more peaceful and your relationships will improve. Life will feel a lot lighter when you’re not carrying everyone’s missteps around like a badge of honor.

(srry 10 img limit so according to Tumblr yours must ugly)

Aquarius (January 21st to February 18th)

In 2018, stop hiding all of your fucking emotions.

Believe it or not, people can’t read minds. No one can always know what it is you’re feeling if you don’t make those feelings known. Keeping everything bottled up and tucked away doesn’t help anyone. It’s unhealthy for you and it does literally nothing for your relationships. Allow yourself to be emotionally expressive in 2018 and as vulnerable as you can be. You won’t die.

(srry apparently no good gifs for sad)

Pisces (February 19th to March 20th)

In 2018, you need to stop overanalyzing every little goddamn thing.

Seriously, stop. You’re driving yourself and all your friends nuts. You read waaaay too much into things. Learn to let things just be as they are, without having to give a deeper meaning or reasoning for why they are the way they are. Sometimes, people and situations actually do come at face value. Learn to recognize when you actually do need to do a deeper analysis and when your brain power could be used elsewhere, like your job. You’ll probably be less tired too. Try it.

[kingfallstranscripts-blog]

Episode 15: Stormy Weather, More at Eleven

(King Falls AM Theme plays)

Ben: Can we please play it again, Sammy?

Sammy: Oh, will you stop it?

Ben: Think of it as my early Christmas present! Just one more time!

Sammy: You are way too happy about this, Ben.

Ben: It’s like watching Van Gogh paint Starry Night, Sammy. But backwards and then exploding like fireworks right before our very eyes.

Sammy: Or ears, in this case.

Ben: Well, yeah, of course ears. You get it, people.

Sammy: So, is this on your schedule, Ben?

Ben: You know that it isn’t. Just give me that one tiny sliver of happiness. I need this! It completes me.

Sammy: You are evil. And that is why we get along so well.

Ben: *laughs*

Sammy: Roll the damn tape!

Ben: Yes!

(Channel 13 Tape Starts)

Storm Sanders: Are we f**kin live, yall? I got sh*t to – (in professional voice) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is your friendly neighborhood weatherman, Storm Sanders. And boy do we have some interesting weather here in the next *hiccups* few days.

Maggie: Storm are you feeling alright?

Storm: Maggie, you bet your motha (censored) ass I’m alright. Let’s just get to the forecast on yours truly today. Storms feelin’… partly cloudy with 100% chance of makin it rain down at the Red Rock bar. Holla at cha *hiccup* boy, Chet! Stacks on deck.

Maggie: Umm, we’re live Storm. If you could just get to the actual weather report –

Storm: F**k yo weather. You got a brain. Open the window and see if it’s hot. If it’s hot? I can’t change that s**t! If it’s cold? Put some more clothes on! If Steve will let you cover up those big ol’ t**ties!

Maggie: Storm!

Storm: Maaaaan, f**k it. Who the f**k even needs a weather report these days? It’s on ya phone! It’s on ya twitter! If I say it’s gonna rain it ain’t gonna change a f**kin thing! Mannnn, my skin feels weird.

(Tape cuts out)

Ben: *laughing hysterically*

Sammy: You are taking way too much pleasure in this.

Ben: Channel 13! Giving you all the news and weather you can handle.

Sammy: He isn’t wrong.

Ben: Ladies and gentlemen, if you missed that on your local news this evening, his words were only bleeped on King Falls AM. I’m sure if you YouTube it… *laughs* oh man. How long before somebody auto-tunes that?

Sammy: Moving forward, what’ve we got in store this evening?

Ben: If you or somebody you know knows how to do those talking music things, give us a call or tweet us @KingFallsAM.

Sammy: Ben…

Ben: I’m sorry. It’s just that we don’t get to win much around here, Sammy. We should enjoy these moments.

Sammy: If this were any other news station would you be this happy?

Ben: No, but Channel 13 is the hub of all evil. If you told me -  

Sammy: AGAIN, moving forward… what do we have on tab for the rest of the evening?

Ben: Ahem… can we do a weather report?

Sammy: You’re a child!

Ben: *laughing* Okay, folks, we’ve actually got some good stuff coming up in the next hour. Mr. Ron Begley from Begley’s Bait & Tackle will be visiting the show and talking to us about the 5th annual Bare Back Bear Festival.

Sammy: *laughs incredulously* Wow, uh, ya know, I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised.

Ben: I don’t get it. W-why are you laughing? You think riding a bear without a saddle is easy?

Sammy: Ben…your naivety brightens my day.

Ben: Whatever…Sammy. Anyway, coming up at the 5 o’clock hour, we’ve got Linda Miles over at King Falls Gazette calling in to give us the weekly Tim Jenson update.

Sammy: And hopefully filling us in with some good news. It sounds like we have a hell of a show happening, so stay tuned kids. We’re gonna pay some bills and hear a few words from our sponsors. We’ll be right back, King Falls.

(Jazz Music Plays)

“Ah, yeah. You’ve got the one and only Chet Sebastian here wishing all y’all out there the happiest of holiday seasons. This time of year you’re always on the lookout for a gift that’s gonna get ya a little something extra, and old Chet is here to deliver “Chet Sebastian’s Honey Pot of Horns”. A classy lady can’t so no to a man that knows his smooth jazz. With my newest album “Chest Sebastian’s Honey Pot of Horns”, you’ll look like the damn Albert Einstein of the brass section. Whether you’re a-givin or receivin. “Honey Pot of Horns” is a surefire way for a happier Hanukkah, a crazier Kwanza, a kinkier Christmas. No downloads here, cause a real man only spins vinyl for his lucky lady. Be Merry, you sexy thangs”

(Welcome to 660 theme plays)

Sammy: So, have you picked up Chet’s new album for that someone special in your life, Ben?

Ben: *chuckles* Dude, no. I love Chet, like you love a creepy masochistic uncle, but I can’t give that record to Emily.

Sammy: I hear classy ladies -

Ben: Don’t

Sammy: *laughs* Alright, folks. We’re gonna take some calls here while we wait on Ron to make his way into the studio. Give us a call 424-279-3858.

Ben: Or tweet us over at twitter @KingFallsAM. We gonna go with any particular topic or –

Sammy: We aren’t talking about Storm if that’s what you’re getting at.

Ben: Dammittttt. Line 5! You’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia: Ben Arnold! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Making fun of poor Storm Sanders tonight.

Ben: Oh, come on! Channel 13 would jump at the chance to destroy us. One of their stupid “For the King Falls Community” investigations. Serves them right!

Cynthia: You’re just so much better than all of us, aren’t you, Ben? Why don’t you just move out of King Falls and go do your radio show in some metropolis or something!

Sammy: Cynthia, while I understand your frustration with Ben’s…giddiness, I –

Cynthia: Don’t give me any of your mumbo jumbo, Sammy. You’re high salutin, too! You’re probably doing this for “Make a Wish” kids or some sort of tax evasion scheme.

Sammy: What?!

Ben: Cynthia, I don’t understand this anger, even from you, tonight.

Cynthia: I just think you need to think before you poke fun. You of all people should know this isn’t as cut and dry as it looks.

Sammy: What are you getting at Cynthia?

Ben: *from the side of his mouth* She’s probably on the sauce that Storm is on…

Cynthia: He said his skin felt weird, idiots! Or did you miss that with all your jackass laughing, Ben?

Ben: Wait, are you sure about that?

Cynthia: 100%, because I wasn’t acting a fool when a man was having a crisis live on the television!

Ben: This isn’t good…

Sammy: What am I missing here?

Cynthia: Guess they don’t teach that kind of stuff at the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, do they, Sammy?

Sammy: Okay, first off, Cynthia, I did not go to that school. Second off –

Ben: His skin felt weird, Sammy.

Cynthia: Maybe if you paid attention in Simple Possessions and Hauntings 101 –

Ben: I’ll take it from here. Cynthia, have a great night.

Cynthia: Oh, of course you’re hanging up on me! High and mighty King Falls AM. You’ll see…

Ben: I didn’t hang up, Cynthia. But we gotta put the wheels in motion here.

Cynthia: Oh, please. You don’t have to sweet talk me. *hangs up*

Sammy: What’s the deal, Ben?

Ben: I should’ve seen this before. DAMMIT. I let my hatred from that terrible excuse for a news organization cloud my judgement.

Sammy: Are you gonna tell me what’s going on, or should I just make up my own thing here?

Ben: Sorry, Sammy. Legend has it, when certain types of spirits take a hold of a person…

Sammy: Uh-huh… “legend has it”…I see.

Ben: Don’t look at me like – forget it! It’s like a possession.

Sammy: Oh, like The Exorcist.

Ben: Kinda like it, but actually scary.

Sammy: Have you seen The Exorcist?!

Ben: I’m being serious! We need to get ahold of Storm. Folks, if you know Storm Sanders personally or can get us in touch with him, please dial in to the show- 424-279-3858.

Sammy: This is for real?

Ben: I’m a little worried. Cynthia, if you haven’t turned off the show in a blind rage, THANK YOU. Thank you for point this out to us.

Sammy: Okay, we’ve got some phone action. Line 12 you’re on King Falls AM.

Troy: Hey, Sammy. Ben.

Ben: We can’t do this right now, Troy.

Troy: I’m callin’ to make peace, Ben. The SS Friendship is ready to dock. All aboard.

Ben: *disconnects call* Not now, Troy! We’ve got a situation!

Sammy: Did you just hang up on Troy?!

Ben: Sammy, this is life or death! Line 5, this is Sammy and Ben.

Herschel: Alright listen you two dumbasses. This Storm fella looks like he’s about a medium build, maybe a buck 180. You get yourselves a gunny sack, some come-along straps, and a roll of duct tape. You meet me 19 clicks from Old Rose’s café at 0400 hours-

Ben: *disconnects call* Sorry, Herschel. You can cuss extra at us later.

Sammy: Oh, he’s gonna.

Ben: Line 10, hello?

Caller: *Native American inflection* Ben is right to be worried.

Sammy: And who are we speaking with?

Ben: Have you seen him tonight, sir?

Caller: I watched his outburst on the television.  I have been driving around downtown and around the station for the last few hours. No luck.

Ben: So, you’re out actively looking for him?

Sammy: Have you tried the Red Rock bar, perhaps?

Ben: Not now, Sammy. I’m sorry – who is this?

Caller: This is Walt. That is all you will get.

Ben: Fair enough. So you know the legend?

Walt: I know the truth. Saying “legend” makes it seem like people haven’t seen it with their own eyes. Or lived it. I have done both.

Sammy: Can one of you two please explain what we are so worried for myself and for the listeners?

Ben: Legend has it – ah sorry- uh, the story goes that…well, I said it was like possession, but really, it’s like a hostile takeover of your mind, body, and soul. Is that right, Walt?

Walt: My people tell stories of men with evil hearts living outside Hatchineha lands. Their only purpose on this earth is to claim others as they once were claimed.

Ben: They call them skinwalkers, Sammy.

Sammy: Not…the best sounding thing to hear on a late night, but… please continue, Walt.

Walt: These men, if you can call them that, tampered with things they should not have tampered with. They became things one should not be. They have the ability to go in one form and out to another as they please. All while searching to make more of their kind.  

Sammy: Okay, well as much as I don’t like this or hardly believe it, what does this have to do with Storm Sanders?

Ben: That’s the interesting part, Sammy. When confronted and converted, I guess you could say, victims start to act in certain ways.

Sammy: Certain, drunken way. If every guy I’ve seen hammered in a bar who sing-cries his way through an 80’s love ballad is a skinwalker, then we are all in deep trouble.

Ben: Not the drunken thing. An uneasiness in one’s body.

Walt: They begin to exhibit signs of outer sickness: fever, sweats, an itching.

Ben: An itching so bad that…they try to peel their skin off.

Sammy: So they’re the werewolves from Route 72?

Walt: No!

Ben: No way!

Sammy: Guys! I’m just trying to grasp this. I’m a pretty piss poor cryptozoologist and let’s be honest, skinwalker sound like it’d be a term for a naked zombie.

Ben: Whatever, Sammy. Keep cracking jokes.

Walt: I need to pay better attention to my tracking, gentlemen. I’m going to let you go. Be well, be safe.

Ben: Thank you so much for the call, Walt. Stay in touch, please.

Walt: Only if I have to. *hangs up*

Sammy: So, you heard it, kids. If you should happen upon your local weatherman… *sighs* You know, I had a joke here. What should I say if they do see him?

Ben: *flustered* DO NOT LOOK HIM IN THE EYES. Stay calm, get to a phone, and call us at the station.

Sammy: Or a dog catcher. We don’t need a ton of guys to go pick this guy up. He’s dangerous, if not to us, then to himself.

Ben: Call the sheriff’s office, guys. Be safe and be aware of your surroundings.

Sammy: Okay. Let’s take another caller, Ben.

Ben: Let’s do it. Line 9, welcome to King Falls AM with Sammy and Ben.

Troy: Ben, don’t you hang up on me. I’m growin real tired of hearing your little pity party every night. I’m tryin to make this right. Now listen, I’ve got an idea…and it is a good one.

Ben: Ho! That’s a first. Is this you trying to get in my good graces by finding the weatherman?

Troy: I don’t give two shakes of a lambs (censored) about a weatherman, Ben. I just want things to be right with us again.

Ben: There is no us, Troy.

Sammy: Let’s just calm down fellas.

Ben: I’ll make this quick, Sammy. You gonna avenge Serendipity the sugar glider, Troy?

Troy: Oh come on, man. You know I can’t.

Ben: Then this conversation is over. AGAIN. For the last time.

Troy: It’s Christmas time, Ben…or Hanukah, or Kwanza…can’t you find it in your heart to forgive?

Ben: YEAH, I don’t think so. Put me on the naughty list. Bye, Troy.

Troy: There ain’t nothin but friendship goin in your stocking at my house, Ben. I’m gonna fix this, future buddy. You’ll see. *hangs up*

Ben: Don’t look at me like that, Sammy. Let’s take another call.

Sammy: I just think you’re being a little harsh, that’s all. You’re amped up, you’re hanging up on friends of the show, you’re hanging up on listeners.

Ben: Okay, Troy is not a friend of the show…. He’s a friend of the you.

Sammy: Ben…

Ben: Don’t “Bennnn” me, Sammy. Can we just get back to the task at hand?

Sammy: Yes. Folks, if you’d like to get hung up on by us, please give us a call 424 –

Ben: Lucky Line 1! You’re live on the air.

Caller: *talking very fast* Yeah, uh, thanks for taking my call. I’d like to talk about city ordinance 44812-36. Uh, these politicians think they can pull the wool over our eyes again! But some of –

Ben: Sorry to cut you off, sir, but we’ve got to a station emergency happening. Give us a call back next week when councilmen Davidson is on.

Caller: Media Puppet! …. bye.

Sammy: Storm isn’t gonna call in himself, Ben. Maybe we need to take a break and re-group here.

Ben: I’m just worried, man. I don’t think you get how bad this is.

Sammy: I don’t ever get how bad any of this is. Does… skinwalking happen a lot?

Ben: Well, the Hatchineha Indians believed it did. It’s just a scary bedtime story to the King Falls kids I guess, but for the first time I feel like this might be a real thing.

Sammy: Are you sure it’s not just the clowns down at Channel 13? Like, you really believe this?

Ben: I believe that they believe it… and I believe they know more about it than we ever will. Think about it. Just crossing paths with one of these evil ass beings, animals, spirits, what-have-you…and you’re toast. If you look it in the eyes it locks eyes with you then there is no more you.

Sammy: It’s an unsettling thought.

Ben: Skinwalkers, man. Wicked spirits taking the form of different things i.e – news reporters! Looking to just suck the soul right out of you! It’s like pure frickin’ evil! I just want everyone listening to be safe.

Sammy: And I think that’s the main point tonight. Stay safe out there, King Falls. I just don’t like this…

Ben: Yeah, I don’t either!

Sammy: Okay, I’m just trying to grasp this – why do you want to find him?  And more to the point, why do you want us to find him?

Ben: Same reason Walt was out there searching for Storm. They say if it’s caught in time, it can be reversed. Not by me, obviously, but if we can of service to the community, why wouldn’t we do what we can?

Sammy: *admired silence* You’re a good dude, Ben Arnold. Folks, sit tight. We’re just gonna take a quick minute or two to get everything- *sudden knock at the door* WHAT THE (CENSORED)

Ben: NOT FUNNY, SAMMY.

Sammy: That wasn’t me! That’s the studio door.

Ben: Uhhhh- RECORDING LIGHT IS ON. GO AWAY.

Sammy: *whispering* Oh yeah, I think that did it. *more loud knocking* Dammit. You wanna get that?

Ben: No!

Sammy: Ben! Okay let’s cut to commercial and we’ll answer the door –

Ben: Do not go to commercial! I want whatever happens to be broadcast out to the masses, man.

Sammy: Oh, that’s a great idea. You gunning for the posthumous Pulitzer?

Ben: I’m just gonna dial up Troy… ya know, just in case.

Sammy: You know what, I’m the new guy. Let me answer the door.

Ben: Probably nothing…Oh, uh, maybe it’s Ron! He’s coming in, remember? Good ol’ scaring-the-bejesus-out-of-us Ron.

Sammy: Somehow, I don’t think this is Ron Begley at our door. Be right back…

Ben: That’s the spirit…take the portable mic with you. Hey, um, Sammy?

Sammy: Don’t. *sounds of Sammy walking and opening the door*

Storm: I ain’t the repo man, General (censored). Not answering the door? That’s some way to treat your brother in news reporting.

Ben: Sammy?!

Sammy: *clears throat* Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I’m standing in the parking lot now with Mr. Storm Sanders, Channel 13’s weatherman –

Storm: Ex-Channel 13. Get it right, Sammy.

Ben: *whispering* Don’t look in his eyes, Sammy.

Storm: What’s that?! Why ain’t you lookin at me, Sammy?

Ben: I’m coming, Sammy. Don’t look, man! *sounds of Ben running to Sammy* Don’t look him in the eyes, Sammy!

Storm: Well, hello to you too, Ben.

Ben: Avert your eyes, Sammy!

Storm: You are a rude piece of work, Ben. Look at me!

Ben: *laughs nervously* Yeah, uh, I’m not gonna do that.

Storm: What the (censored) are you two up to?!

Sammy: Ya know, okay *sighs* after seeing your outburst –

Storm: Is it cold out here to you?

Sammy: Ben – I, uh, we… King Falls, uh… we’re all a little worried that maybe, uh -

Storm: That what?! I ain’t got all night.

Ben: Well… it’s not like you’re gonna make the morning forecast *light laugh*

Storm: That’s uncalled for! But true. Spit it out, Sammy.

Sammy: Well, Ben, me, we…uh, we? We think that –

Storm: Phew, where’s ya thermostat boys?

Sammy: … We’re outside.

Storm: It’s hot as fire out here! Like ya junk once you landed one of Chet’s old ladies. Know what I mean? Are y’all feelin this (censored)?

Sammy: Storm! Focus! Ben thinks that, uh –

Ben: FACE IT, STORM! You’re a skinwalker! You’re a goner, man! Get outta here before you pass your soul eating virus on to us!

Sammy: What he said.

Storm: A skinwalker? A SKINWALKER?! You been lookin for my ass all night in this rinky dink little station just to call me on some voodoo (censored)?! I don’t like the cut of your jib, Ben. And - *faints*

Sammy: He- he just died, right? Is he dead?

Ben: He’s still breathing. What the HELL was that?

Sammy: I’m guessing Storm was going off the reservation and passing out, ladies and gents. *sounds of distant footsteps approaching* Not completely sure what we – WHAT THE- WHO ARE YOU?! What are you doing here?!

Walt: *sighs* Saving your lives. Thank me later. Now, grab his feet.

Ben: Walt?

Walt: That’s all you’ll get…

Ben: If Storm wakes up, don’t look in his eyes, Sammy!

Sammy: You know, I think I’ve got it now. Will you just stop standing there and give us a hand, please?

Ben: (censored) damn Channel 13, man!