#yall gonna like this big time skip into the next part! It ties in everything before the 'will I return home?' conclusion

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Chapter 40: What the FUCK is Up Kyle?!

My new job as an independent agent is really what I needed in my life. I can do everything I want to focus on with more time now! My relationship improved and less stress in my life! What more could I ask for?

“Oh girkies, you are not gonna like your new assignment” Jin winced as he entered the room with files in his hands “we all got called upon for different things.”

Mimi opens her file and skims the cover page “I’m getting sent to Hiroshima for a WEEK?!” she slams the file closed “what in the actual fuck!”

I open mine and skim “I’m being summoned to Shinjuku for an undisclosed amount of time” I squint to see if I’m reading the mission briefing “for a new conjugation?” I scowl in confusion “like a new agency or what?”

“That confused me too but then look how it’s coded” Jin tapped on the tab on the file “its Blue, it’s a personal invitation, the person summoning knows you personally and asked specifically for you.”

“But I don’t know anybody out there” I’m more confused “and the crime rate there is pretty low, but I guess if they need me” I sigh and close the file “I guess I should help them.” I do some research on the area and recent crime before I went on the meeting day. Nervous as hell, I show up to this un-marked but guarded building.

“State your identity and purpose” sternly spoke one of the guards.

“I’m Agent 19 of the Emperor’s Coup” I present them with my agent license and agent crest “I’m here for a summoning of high sensitivity.”

“Oh my goodness, it’s her!” gasped the other guard “the agent that knows! ahem, um, please come in and head upstairs to meeting room 2-J.”

“Thank you” I walk in as they moved aside for me “take care.” There was nobody where I first walked in so I just quickly made my way up the stairs, steel toe boots clacking on the tile stairs. It was uneasy feeling to be alone in this place, no trace of others occupying the space, just empty office cubicles. I get to the meeting room and the glass wall to look in was boarded off like nobody is supposed to know what or who’s inside. I slip on my anti-prints gloves on and put my left hand on my holster, whatever the hell is behind that door, I wasn’t going to risk it. I knock “Hello? Anybody in there? This is Agent 19 of-” before I could finish my sentence, I heard hollering inside of the room and bust open the door “FREEZE!” I do my power stance and get my gun locked and loaded.

“Please don’t shoot! Put the gun down!” it was a very familiar whiny voice.

I lower my gun and saw a familiar mix of pro heroes “Midoriya?!” I identify the green clad man, I put my gun back in my holster “Oh man, what the fuck is up?!” I took a better look around “Oh shit Tenya, I didn’t know you got summoned too.”

“I was wondering why Midoriya wasn’t telling us who he recruited” he wiped his glasses “he was saying it was somebody we could trust and knows about his secret.”

“Well now that I have everyone here, please take a seat” Midoriya motioned me to sit as everyone else readjusted themselves “there’s somebody after my secret and they know somewhat about it. Lately somebody is getting a little too close to me to know more and I just know it’s the League of Villains.”

“They’re STILL at it?” I blurt “but one of their most powerful left the group about a year ago, how are they functioning?”

“See, we didn’t know that” Mina responded to me “but we suspect it’s one of us.”

“And that’s what makes it hard to know” Midoriya sighed “that’s why I recruited you, over the years of living and working with us, you know more about our habits and routine.”

“So you want me to find the traitor among y’all huh?” I pieced the logic together and he nodded “easy peasy! Why didn’t you say so earlier?!” I whipped out my gun and pointed to Mineta.

“IT’S NOT ME! SWEAR! PLEASE DON’T SHOOT ME!” Mineta literally cried and sobbed like the little bitch he is.

“Dang, I really hoped it was him” I pouted and put my gun away.

“You should’ve made the shot anyways” Jiro sneered.

“Okay, what do you need us to do to determine the traitor?” Midoriya reshifted to the pressing matter.

I scan the room “well, not to be that bitch but we gotta get on lockdown” the room erupts in murmuring “I haven’t seen or talked to some of you guys since my rise to fame. Think of it as a sleepover! Where we go home after I solve a puzzle.”

“So be it! Nobody is to leave this building until she figures it out.”

And so we all just awkwardly hang out in one space. I was more on guard than anyone else there, seeing all these old classmates again got me a little fucked up. I decide to explore the building a bit when something a little strange happens.

“Wait up, where are you going?” Tenya asked me as I wander away from the group “can I come?”

“You can come along” I said as I pointed to the stairwell “I wanted to see more of this building.” As we walk up the stairs, I wonder if this is MY Tenya. I hate to think those things but only one way to find out. “Hey question, what did I cook for breakfast today?”

“You made huevos rancheros with toast because we had too much sliced bread before grocery shopping day” he described with no hesitation.

“Whew okay” I sighed in relief “I was going to go feral if you were the traitor.”

“I know baby” he held my hand as we got to the next floor “I’d never betray my friends or you, plus I have a lead on who it may be.”

“What’s the suspicion?”

“I wasn’t feeling too keen around some of the girls” he lowered his voice “usually they’d ask me about you but today only Mina and Uraraka asked while Momo, Kendo, Tsuyu and Jiro didn’t.”

“That is some odd behavior” I pondered as I walked around the third floor “in that case, lets go back down there, I have a plan.” I teleport us back to the others and checked if that provoked any type of new reaction. Noting unusual yet, the day progressed and it was night time when I came up with a new idea.

“Hey Shoto” I whispered to get his attention “come! I have to ask you something.”

“What is it Ita?” he jogged over to me “why are you hiding behind these boxes?”

“Can I borrow your face?” I asked as he leaned in for me to copy his quirk “Hmm, you’re definitely not the traitor” I take my hand off his face “also, how’s Touya? I haven’t swung by to see how’s the fam.”

“Oh he’s doing great, he asks about you time to time” a smile breaks on his face “he has a crush on you and it’s silly because you’re with Iida-kun now and Touya is just being irrationally jealous.”

“Oh bitch that’s cute” I giggle and stand up from my hiding place “I’m hungies! TENYA!”

“YES?!” he yells from a distance.

“I’M HUNGIES!”

“YOU HUNGIES?! WHAT DOES YOUR TUM TUM WANT?”

“NEED MEAT! AND NOODLES AND KISSIES!” I look around at the others to see their reactions to our baby talk.

“Ugh that’s cringe” Kaminari said disgusted “I’d never get pussy whipped like that! My girl does things for herself.”

Jiro stabs Kaminari with her jacks “Stupid he’s not pussy whipped! It’s called loving your partner and communicating” she huffed “you never want to do couple things with me like that!”

From the sounds and looks of their argument, I’d say Jiro and Kaminari aren’t the traitors. I turn to Kendo, I haven’t seen her since graduation and I really want to know what’s going on in her life.

“Yo Kendo, haven’t talked to you in a hot minute” I opened up casually.

“Yeah! Since graduation but I’ve been doing well” she smiled “heard about you and Iida finally dating. I’ve been going strong with Tetsutetsu, 3 years now.”

“Oh wow I didn’t know you two were dating, we should go on a double date sometime!” I really missed out on a lot, last I heard, Yuka and Tetsu were still together “it’s so weird how time has flown by and you just forget to keep in touch.”

“Yea, I was shocked to find out about Shinso breaking up with you” she put her hand on my shoulder “I was really rooting for you two to get married and such but he just ran off like that. But now that he’s back in Chiyoda, I’m sure we’ll all get reunited as some point.”

“Wait, he’s in Chiyoda?”

“Yea, he moved in a few months back with Monoma” she pulled up a picture on her phone “see, Tetsu and I went to see him when he moved in.”

I looked at the picture, it was all four of them in the living room just hanging out. Shinso looked different, it was just strange to me that he lived with me and I’ve been trying to chase him down for years for closure. “What a cozy home, I heard about the suburbs there being a really nice place for peaceful living.” I said to prevent myself from breaking down. So Kendo wasn’t the traitor either, it now comes down to Momo, Tsuyu, Kirishima, Ojiro and Tokoyami. I later determine that Momo, Kirishima and Tokoyami aren’t the traitor because they used their quirks and interacted with me like they usually do. It’s 2am and it’s down to Oijiro and Tsuyu.

“Are you doing alright love?” Tenya softly asked as I was floating around “can’t think?”

“It’s so hard to determine between the two” I sigh “I can’t think of another method! Too hungry to think straight” I loosed my uniform collar “and stuffy, wheres the thermostat?”

“I believe Kirishima found it in that weirdly spacious break room on this floor”

“Thanks, I’m going to clear my head” I floated down to walk “I’ll be back in a few.” I make my way to the break room and to my surprise Tsuyu was already there boiling water “Oh hey, couldn’t sleep?”

“Nope, I miss my bed.” she spoke tiredly.

Something wasn’t quite right on how she was speaking to me “Same here, but hows the fam?” I start to make casual conversation to not raise suspicion “I remember you saying that little bro wanted to follow in your footsteps.”

“Oh yea it’s almost time for him to make the decision” she poured the hot water into a cup “they grow up so fast.”

As she was talking, I locate the thermostat and start to drop the temperature “They sure do! Say, we haven’t spent quality time in a long time” I stop the thermostat at 49 degrees “we should organize a reunion cook out! Have yall together like this oddly makes me miss yall!”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” she smiled “I missed having you around too!”

Tenya walks in the room shivering “Hey is the thermostat broken? It’s too cold.”

I felt the chill of the temperature drop and saw that Tsuyu wasn’t even flinching... that’s not very frog-like of her.

“Will you get me my visor from the meeting room dear?” I politely asked Tenya “I’m going to try to fix it.” I wait for him to walk out the room to slam the door closed and get locked and loaded “THE GIG IS UP IMPOSTER!”

“What are you talking about 19! It’s me!” she was frightened.

“Say my name then” I cock my gun “my real name.”

The sweat pours from her face and her eyes read ‘I’m in danger!’ “Um...Ai-” I didn’t let them finish and I just shot them in the leg. Instantly, their body melted into grey sludge. Everyone ran to the room in high alert.

“What happened? Who was it?!” cried out Midoriya.

“It was a Tsuyu clone” I put all the pieces together “I noticed her speech was different, no ‘kero’ at the end of her sentences. Plus when I dropped the temp to almost freezing, she didn’t get into hibernation mode.” I came to a terrifying realization “where’s the real Froppy?”

The others gasped and franticly tried to reach out to her and the agency she works at to know her whereabouts. It didn’t take long to find out she was safe at home and didn’t know that she was summoned to this meeting. The tempering of this information started at work, to my surprise, it was the work of the League of Villains. If I didn’t already rescue Touya, I would’ve thrown hands instantly! But I have to keep things undercover until I catch the mimic villain or I’ll be a victim of their game.

-3 weeks later-

“Thank you again for inputing a system in our agency” thanked Midoriya as I was installing said system “I knew I could depend on you!”

“No need for all that, I’m just doing what I do best” I press the activate button and start inputing some code “aaaand it’s loaded up and ready to serve! With this new boost to your already existing security system” I pat the device on the wall “this baby will keep the imposters and villains away.”

“That’s incredible!” awed Midoriya “I never thought you’d be a security tech mogul that’d save my livelihood.”

“Shut up, you’re still a broccoli ass twink!” I punched his arm playfully “don’t forget who protected you and Bakugo’s ass back in the day!”

“I suppose it’s all the same” he laughed “let me treat you to lunch! Ochako and I want to say our thanks.”

“Sure, I didn’t have lunch plans anyways” I shrugged as we headed up stairs to the main floor of the agency.

“Great! Let me get my bag” he jogged to the locker room “I’ll be right back!”

I stand there and check my phone for any updates from work. Today was my day off from CEO work but lately the company has been swamped with custom orders and consultations since we added rabbits and reptiles to our companion line. I’m just waiting to get called in by Beizu or Jin to help them out with coat production or new consultations.

“Oh my goodness! If it isn’t Miss CEO herself!” said a very familiar voice.

I look around and don’t see anybody looking my way or trying to get my attention “Who the hell said that?”

“On your left”

I look to my left and there was a face on the wall “oh...it’s you” I said flatly and uninterested “Hello Mirio.”

“Aww you don’t sound excited to see me!” he completely phased out of the wall.

“I’m never excited to see you, I’m not a teenager” I didn’t have to look down to know he was naked “and please for love of SIR NIGHTEYE put on some pants!”

“I heard my name” sternly spoke Nighteye himself “Togata please put on some pants, you’re embarrassing me in front of our esteemed partner here.”

“Yes Sir!” Mirio phased away, almost comical like.

“He was much more bearable without the quirk” he rubbed his temples “at least I didn’t have to get my eyes harassed by nudity in the workplace!” the man sighed as he fixed his glasses “Miss Palma, I thank you for your services, they mean a lot to me. My visions have changed now that you’ve installed that security boost.”

“Didn’t you foresee me installing it?” I questioned his statement, I didn’t believe my choice made that much of a change.

“I didn’t, I think you’re an anomaly to this timeline” he smiled “that’s a good thing, you’ve altered the fates of everyone and everything you come across with, including your own.”

“I have?”

“Yes, thanks to you, a second war between villains and heroes has been replaced by a time of peace” I see the glow of his quirk “and see myself aging gracefully into old age instead of dying before I get a chance to retire.”

“If you say so” I smiled “then I guess it’s what I do best.”

Midoriya jogged back “Sir! Palma-san and I were going to lunch with Ochako” he stopped in front of us “was there something you needed?”

“Oh no, I was just talking” he turned to go back to his office “have a good lunch, tell your wife I said hello.”

We head to lunch and Ochako dropped the biggest news on me.

“You’re pregnant?!” I nearly choked on my water “Oh my god congrats you two! When are you due?”

“In May! I’m so excited to be a mom!” she gushed “but it looks like you have some news to tell us too!”

“I...don’t?” I said confused as they leaned in and looked at my hands.

“You have a ring on, are you and Iida-kun getting married?!” Midoriya had a big dumb smile on his face “how did he propose?!”

“Oh I bet he made it extra perfect with flowers and candles-” Ochako was getting into the fantasy before I interrupted her.

“He hasn’t popped the question yet, I told him to take his time with asking me” I pointed to my ring “this is my official Emperor’s Coup Agent ring. Engagement rings go on the left hand, this is on my right hand.”

“But Palma-san, why aren’t you married yet?” Ochako asked my curiously “you and Shinso were so close that everyone thought you’d get married first. But now that you’re with Iida-kun and seem to have a better dynamic, why take your time for marriage?”

“Well, I learned that nothing good comes out of impatience. I love Tenya with all of my heart, body and soul BUT I want him to feel like he doesn’t have to trap me with marriage right away” I wipe my mouth of the water I choked on earlier “he’s learning how to love me and be a better partner everyday, with all the effort he puts in to make me feel loved, I’m not worried about marriage or kids. Our time will come.”

“I didn’t think of it like that” Midoriya thought about what I said “you must really love him to have him take his time.”

The subject was dropped for the rest of lunch and we parted ways. I got home to wait for Tenya to get out of work but I slipped into deep thought. I’m 23, with 24 fast approaching, all my old classmates are getting married or having kids at this point...my biological clock is ticking and I don’t know if I can carry a baby past my prime. Maybe I should stop my birth control? What a shitty way to make me feel like I’m wasting my prime years on making robotic animals and crunching crime statistics! I try to make myself not fall further into this hole by playing my cheer up playlist but then I fell down the Joji hole and got emo.

“I’m home” Tenya said as he entered the house “I don’t like the sound of that music, that’s some sad hours music” he checked the time “it’s almost 7! Sad hours isn’t for another 5 hours!” he opened the office door to see me slow whip to Fried Noodles (Getter Remix)  in my Ingenium hoodie and fuzzy socks “this... is a mood that I don’t understand” he rubbed his chin “what happened?”

“I’m just tryna vibe again” I slow dabbed “the Midoriyas got me fucked up on their vibe, I’ve been a bad mood since I got home but I’ll get over it” I sigh “I didn’t cook a whole lot, I diced some fish and tossed it in some sauces to make poke and there’s rice.”

“Oh alright, I’m here if you want to talk about it some more” he coaxed her to open up more “come eat with me.”

“I already ate, I was trying to get a hold of one of my friends right now” I floated back to my computer desk “it might take a while, so just eat and I’ll come to bed soon.”

“You ate already?” he was a little taken back from this sudden change “well, don’t come to bed too late.” He closed the door behind him to eat dinner, by himself. Tenya didn’t read too much into her dismissive behavior as she teleported to her side of the bed at bedtime. 

-The next day, at work-

“Thanks for the extra hand Iida-kun!” Sero thanked Tenya for helping him at a moment’s notice “I really needed help with crowd control today! Who knew the shopping district was going to be this wild today?!”

“It’s no problem! I’m happy to help” Tenya chirps as he takes off his helmet in the safety of the agency building “it’s been a while since I’ve seen you and the others here!”

“Oh shucks Iida-kun, with a girl like Palma-san, I’d be too busy to spend time with the boys too” he nudged “how are you and Palma-san? Anything exciting?!”

“Nothing exciting lately, she’s just really busy but it’s all good” Tenya recalled last night “just last night she was doing work even though it was her day off! So busy that she didn’t cook and ate before I got home for dinner.”

Sero’s smile disappeared “Wait, did she just make rice and made a quick cold dish and told you to serve yourself?”

“Yes actually! She made poke.”

“Oh man F in the chat fellas” Sero pray squatted and Tetsutetsu, Kaminari and Sato followed suite.

“What are you-”

“Iida-kun what did you do to that poor girl?” asked Sato “she never gets upset.”

“I didn’t do anything, she said the Midoriya’s ruined her vibe” he recalled “she said she’ll get over it and it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Naw my man” Tetsutetsu put his arm around Tenya “when your girl does things without you and puts the least amount of effort on dinner, she’s mad at you.”

“She didn’t look-”

“Next thing you know, she’ll be going out with her friends again and stop cooking for you altogether” Sero puts his hand on Tenya’s shoulder “she’s mad because she caught baby fever! Ochako’s preggo and all the girls they know are catching it.”

“I don’t think she wants to have a baby right now” he chopped “we aren’t even married.”

“Even worse! Dude you gotta propose soon or she’s going to leave you” Kaminari warned “do you at least spice it up in the bedroom?”

“We have fun in bed” he turns red in embarrassment “that’s none of your business!”

Sero shakes his head “Oh boy, what did we keep telling you in high school?! DON’T WAIT OR YOU’LL LOSE HER TO SOMEONE ELSE!”

“Thank you for your concerns but we’re fine” he politely said even though he wants to yell “we don’t need any meddling in our relationship, when the time is right, I’ll ask for her hand.”

“If you say so Iida-kun” Sero pat his head “she’s unpredictable.”

This bothered Tenya all day, in his mind he knows it’s illogical for her to run off because of her line of work and in his heart he’s confident that she’ll be loyal and voice her burdens. 

“I’m home” he called out as routine.

“I’m in the room!” called out Ita.

He walks up to the room and saw her get ready for a night out “What all this for?” she turned around and he saw that she was wearing the boob window dress “that’s a new dress.”

“I’m going out remember?” I put on my earrings “it’s Mimi’s birthday and we’re going to Daggers.”

“Oh that’s right!” he forgot that she told him 2 weeks ago “you look really tempting in that dress” he put his hand on her shoulder “are you sure we can’t have a little bit of fun before you go?”

“Babe please, the limo is going to be here any minute to come for me” I block his attempt at a quicky “maybe when I get home” I kiss his cheek “I made beef stew, help yourself” I get a text and saw that it was Jin asking me to teleport to Mimi’s place “oof gotta go! I’ll be back before sun up, love you.”

She teleported away before he had a chance to say it back. As he ate dinner alone, he wondered if what the others were right and he should just ask her despite what she said. The days and weeks pass and she’s getting held up at work some nights and there’s no dinner ready or there’s a cold-dish and rice dinner for him on nights she was on-call. Tenya was scared, it’s December and everything that the boys warned him about happened except for her leaving him.

“You have one request from Mama to video-call, would you like to answer?” yipped Muffin 2.0.

“Yes please, pull it up on the office computer” I get up from the couch “I gotta take this, it’s important.”

“Is there something wrong?” asked Tenya as he paused the movie they were watching “don’t you want to answer it on the widescreen?”

“Not this time, I’ll explain later” I dash to the stairs “keep watching without me, it’s cool and I might take a while.”

Tenya sat in silence, staring at the paused screen. It’s her day off and the first one in a while where she wasn’t occupied with something and actually spent time with him. To be fair it was a half day for him but still. They’ve gotten into arguments on her scheduling and sleeping habits, but only because he brought them up to understand why they haven’t spent any time together. He feels like she’s bending his way and isn’t happy. After nearly an hour, she pops back down stairs.

“How was it?”

“Hm? Oh it looks like my family is going to be alright” I was confused for a bit “my brother got injured and they couldn’t afford treatment for a while, I sent them money a few weeks ago to cover everything and my brother is going to be alright.”

“Oh that’s good to hear” he was washed over with relief “also, it’s dinner time, come help me cook.”

I check the time “Cook? Well I guess, it’s already 7″ I sigh with a little lazy groan “let me get my phone real quick.”

At that moment, Tenya was struck with realization, he forced routine onto her! She’s not having fun because of the lack of chaos, she THRIVES in chaos and disorder! He has to think quick!

“Actually, gets go out to eat”

“Go out? But I’m not in the mood for a sit-down restaurant” I whined “I wanna stay in my fuzzy pants and hoodie.”

“That’s fine” he smirked “lets go to McDonalds.”

“Deadass?!” I yelled as I could not believe he suggested it “well lets hop in my car and-”

“No babe, I’M driving” he grabbed his keys before she could argue “I know you love the seat warmers on high.”

“Oh si? alrighty then” I jump onto his back “lets go! I’m hungies.”

We get to the drive through and Tenya realizes that the last time he had McDonalds was in High school only because Ochako and Midoriya were broke and didn’t want him to pay for their food.

“What’s good at McDonalds?” he asked her “do they still have those little cheese burgers?”

“Tenya, did your parents not love you enough to take you to McDonalds past the age of 5?” I question as I know it’s common knowledge what’s good at McDonalds because of all the advertisements on tv and in public “personally, the triple cheeseburgers and sweet tea are my go to’s but anything on the deluxe menu is the good stuff.”

“Can you order for me?” he asked shyly, like a child asking their mother for help “I trust your food judgment and I don’t know what to get.”

When it was our turn to order, I ordered all of my favorites like the McMuffins, Triple cheeseburgers, nuggets, a cone, McDonald’s Sprite and Sweet Tea. I got recognized only because I frequent that McDonalds.

“Okay we should go home and-” I say as I set the food on my side of the car with a cone floating in my face.

“Lets go eat at the peer-over” Tenya interrupted her “I don’t want to go home to eat.”

I was in shock “Excuse me Mr. Don’t Eat In My Car! but did you just suggest we eat in YOUR car?” I watch him nod and flip his turn signal the opposite way from home “well if you say so.” We park at the peer-over and we’re the only car there. To be fair it was too cold to go on the walking trail that connects to the peer over and it was dark. We start eating and Tenya gets his first taste of that McDonald’s Sprite.

“Oh that’s why the boys get large cups of this” he shivers a bit “it tastes like electricity.”

“RIGHT?! It will baffle me on why it tastes better than canned or anyone else’s Sprite!” I laugh as I see him another sip and shiver again “what impulsed you to do this?” I poked his forehead “what’s going on in here?”

“I just felt the need to try something new” he didn’t want to admit the truth “and I thought you might want to go out because it’s been a while since we went on a date.”

“Hm...” I didn’t believe him and squinted at him “fine, keep your secrets” I eat my triple cheeseburger “but it has been a while since we’ve gone on a date, routine got me fucked up.”

That made Tenya’s jazz music stop in his head, she just confirmed his fear. What is he going to do?! What can he do to make the situation better or change? “Yeah! Isn’t it nice to just get away from home for a bit?”

“Yeah, it’s nice” I pulled the seat recliner all the way down so I could lay down and eat “I needed this, I love you.”

He reclined back too to see her better, the most he looks at her, the more he feels at ease. It’s a full moon tonight and the moonlight peers through the sunroof and illuminates her. In his mind, this was a sign from the universe and who was he to ignore the universe?

“I could get used to this sight” he sighed lovingly at her messy eating, a fry in her hair, licking the sauce from her fingers “from now, into forever.”

“Heh was that a proposal?” I joked at what he said because it sounded overly romantic for what’s actually going on.

He grabbed her hand and held it with both of his hands “Yes actually” he cleared his throat “I want to spend the rest of my life in your world, your the disorder that balances my routine, the spice in my food and the moonlight when the daylight leaves. Will you marry me?”

I couldn’t believe what was going on that I almost dropped my nugget “Oh Tenya, of course I’ll marry you!” I laughed and almost started crying “how the hell did I end up getting off guard like that! You sneaky little boy!”

“I can’t believe you said yes! To be honest I didn’t set out with the intention of proposing” he laughed with me “but the universe was swaying me to ask you at this moment” he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles “No ring or anything, just my aching heart and soul.”

“I don’t care if you gave me the biggest pearl in the ocean or the rarest rock in the galaxy” I squeezed his hand “I don’t need a ring to prove that you love me, money can’t buy what we have.”

They spent the rest of the evening scheming how they were going to tell their family and friends. It was exciting to see how this new chapter in their lives was going to unfold, in more ways than one.

To be continued...

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[calpalirwin]

Parent Teacher Conference

A/N: Anon request- Okay but single dad ashton au where he doesnt wanna risk getting his kid involved with a woman but ur the new teacher for them and yall meet and he falls madly for u

Content: All the feels! And swearing.

And away, and away we go!

~~~

“C’mon, Seb, get a move on,” I called out, peeking my head into the bathroom.

My carbon-copy of a son with a mop of brown-blond curls turned to me, toothbrush in his mouth, and grinned. “Dad! I’m in big kid school now!” his voice muffled around the toothbrush.

“Yeah, and you’re gonna be late if you don’t step it up a notch.”

4th grade. My 9 year old was going into 4th grade. I choked back the memories, refusing to cry, because “Dad, stop crying, it’s only 4th grade.”

“You’re right, bud, it’s only 4th grade,” I had told him, tucking him into bed last night. To him, it was only 4th grade. For me, this was also the anniversary of the day his mom left us 8 years ago.

I looked at my son, his brand new sneakers that would have scuff marks on them when I picked him up later, a long sleeved flannel tied around his waist. God, if it weren’t for the fact that he was clearly me- the eyes and the giggle were a dead give away- I swear he was Luke’s. “Uncle Lu tell you to dress like that?” I asked.

The curls bounced as his head bobbed up and down. “He said it was cool. And I wanna be cool, Dad. It’s 4th grade.”

I imitated my head exploding. God, when did this kid grow up? Seemed like just yesterday his entire body could fit in my hands.

“Dad? Dad!”

I shook my head, clearly the thoughts. “Yeah, bud?”

“Can we go now?” he asked, a Spider-Man backpack slung over one of his shoulders.

“C’mon, then,” I smiled.

~~~

It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried dating since Seb’s mom left us. I had. I was just very selective. I didn’t want to bring a woman home, have things go wrong, and be left to pick up not only my broken pieces but my son’s as well.

My heart was one thing. I’d been known to be reckless with it. But, my son’s was another matter entirely. He was too young to know heartache.

Plus every time I had to cancel a date last minute because Seb got sick, or left a date early because Seb called me in tears asking where I was, didn’t lend itself to much romance. Girls could go on and on about how hot single dads were, but what they failed to realize is that my son would always be my number 1 priority.

~~~

“Mr. Irwin, I’d like to talk to you about Sebastian. Is there anyway you can meet with me after school? Say 2:45?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. School had only been in session for a month. It couldn’t be time for parent-teacher conferences already. Which only meant one thing- something had happened with Seb. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Who was that?” Calum asked me.

“Seb’s teacher. She wants to talk with me after school.”

“Isn’t his teacher hot?” Mike asked.

“What? No… I mean, she’s attractive, sure. But, she’s his teacher.”

“Ooo, Ash like the teacher!” Luke teased.

I felt my face flush. Alright, maybe I did a little. She was attractive, stunningly so, and she was a teacher. Which meant she understood kids. And maybe, that just might mean she understood single dads.

~~~

“Hello?” I asked, sticking my head in the classroom at 2:45.

The bell had rung fifteen minutes ago and I still hadn’t seen my son. Now, I saw why, as he was hunched in his desk reading, a scowl on his face.

“Dad!” his face lit up when he heard my voice.

“Keep reading, Sebastian,” his teacher’s voice said firmly.

“Yes ma’am…”

“Mr. Irwin, glad you could make,” she smiled softly at me. “Please, have a seat.”

I moved to sit in chair she had just besides her desk. “So, you wanted to talk?” I asked.

“Yes. It seems your son had an incident with a classmate on the playground today.”

“Seb?” I asked, fighting to keep my voice level.

“Alex is a jerk! And she took away my recess!” he shouted at me.

“Sebastian,” both his teacher and I warned, and then I had to work at keeping the smile off my face.

“Anyway,” she said, turning her attention back to me. “There was an incident. Both boys lost their recess privileges for the rest of this week and next week.”

“You keep saying ‘incident,’ what happened exactly?”

“I keep saying ‘incident,’ Mr. Irwin, because your son is an incredibly… strong-willed individual.”

“You can just say he’s stubborn. And it’s Ash, please.”

“I prefer the term strong-willed, Ash,” she smiled at me again and I liked the way it was genuine and soft, her eyes crinkling at the edges. And I liked the way my name sounded rolling off her lips. And I was in trouble.

“So, my stubborn son won’t tell you what happened?”

“Precisely. And I’m not one to involve admin if I can help it. But in order to not involve admin, I need to know what happened. That’s where I’m hoping you can come in.”

“Seriously, Seb? She just said she’s not gonna send you to the principal, and you’re mad she took away recess from you?”

“She wouldn’t take my recess away if she knew what Alex said!” His book was now closed and clenched in his fists, vibrating with his tiny rage.

“Sebastian, I would love to know what Alex said,” she told him, keeping herself calm even though my son was far from it himself. Was that a special gift all teachers had, or just her? “But, every time I ask, you just tell me he was being a jerk. Maybe you’d like to tell your dad instead?”

“He is a jerk!” he screamed, throwing his book. “He’s… he’s… he’s a fuckin asshole!”

“Sebastian James Irwin! What the hell has gotten into you? Start explaining yourself, now!”

His face scrunched up as he realized I was now angry with him. “He said I didn’t have a mom!” he wailed at me before bursting into tears and running out of the classroom.

I fell back in my seat, watching him run off, my heart shattering in my chest. He was right. This Alex kid was a fuckin asshole.

“You okay?” her voice sounded, her hand touching mine.

“I thought I was doing everything right…”

“You are. Sebastian is by far one of the best students I’ve had. He’s so kind and polite to everybody. He’s funny, too. Which is why today surprised me. It seemed so out of character.”

“I better go after him,” I sighed, getting up.

“I’ll come with,” she offered, getting up herself.

It was the first time a girl had offered to come with me before when dad duty called. I couldn’t help it. I smiled at her.

“Now, I see where Sebastian gets his smile from,” she smiled back.

~~~

We found him huddled in the corner of the highest part of the play structure.

“Would you get down, please?” I asked from the ground. Climbing up there myself was going to be a bitch.

“No! Go away! I hate you!”

“Love you too, bud!”

“Where’s my mom?”

“I don’t know, bud. Come down so we can talk, please.”

“No!”

“That wasn’t a question, Seb.”

“I don’t care!”

“You have to the count of 3 to get down here, or I’m coming up there,” I said, really hoping I didn’t have to go up there after him. “1.”

“No!”

“2!”

“I hate you!”

3!” I started my ascent. My kid, the fuckin brat that he was, waited until I was on the middle platform before launching himself down the slide. “You stay right there,” I warned, moving to go back down.

“Sebastian,” I heard her voice say as he started to run. “Are we making smart choices right now, or are we acting on impulse?”

“Impulse…” he answered, stopping in his tracks.

“And, what do we want to do?”

“Make smart choices…”

“So, what do we do to calm our impulses, so we can make smart choices?”

“Breathe…”

“Alright, breathe with me. Ready?”

“Yeah…”

“And, inhale, 3, 4, 5, 6. Hold. Exhale, 4, 3, 2 , 1,” she coached as I watched. Was she trying to make me fall in love with her? “Better?”

“Better…”

“Alright, you ready to tell us what’s wrong?”

“Alex said-” he started, already getting upset again.

She held up a finger. “Calmly, Sebastian. What upset you?”

“My feelings were hurt when Alex said I didn’t have a mom.”

“Why?”

“Because it made me feel sad.”

“Why?”

“Because I have Dad. And Uncle Cal, Lu, and Mikey. And grandma. And Auntie Lauren, and Uncle Harry. And Auntie Crystal and Auntie Sierra.”

“Wow, sounds like you have a lot of people who love you.”

“But, I don’t have a mom…”

“Lots of people don’t have moms. Or dads. Spider-Man didn’t have his parents. Was he still loved?”

“Yeah…”

“So, what’s wrong?”

“Am I broken?”

“No, Seb,” I finally spoke up. Great. My life had come full circle. I was the man without a dad, raising a son without a mom. And now he was asking himself the same questions I used to ask myself. I crouched down to be eye level with him. “You know why you don’t have a grandpa?”

“Because… I dunno…”

“Because I don’t have a dad.”

“Where is your dad?”

“I dunno. But what I do know is that I’m not broken. And neither are you.”

“Are they in Heaven or…?” he asked, struggling with the concept of someone just abandoning him like it was nothing. Death made sense. But just straight up leaving your kid? Hell, even I still couldn’t wrap my head around it.

“No. I wish that were the case, but, no. They just left.”

“So, they didn’t want us…? Why?”

“I dunno, bud. But, I know that I want you. And I know that all your aunties, uncles, and grandma want you. We love you, Seb, and you’re always gonna have us. Promise.”

He nodded, seeming to accept that our love would be enough for him. Then, “Hey, Dad?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“Can Miss Y/L/N come with us to get ice cream?”

“Oh, you think you’re getting ice cream after this stunt? Keep dreamin, pal!”

“But, you promised if I got on A on my test we’d get ice cream. Show him, Miss! Show him my test!”

She laughed and nodded. “Sebastian did get an A on his fractions test. Perfect score in fact.”

“See? Pay up, Daddy-o!” Seb laughed at me.

“Who taught you to call me ‘Daddy-o’, Seb?” I asked, giggling.

“Uncle Lu!”

I laughed again. Of course it was. “Alright. But only 1 scoop.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said skipping off.

“So, would it be too forward if I asked you to ice cream? I mean, the kid… he’s been through a lot today. You don’t wanna break his heart, do ya?”

She laughed. “You rely on him to get all your dates?”

“Only the ones that are worth it. You’re great with him. He really likes having you as a teacher.”

“I really like having him as a student. I hear his dad’s pretty cute, too.”

“Cute dad, huh? Did you hear he’s single?”

“Oh, wow. Did you hear his teacher’s single too, and happens to love ice cream?”

[jeserai]

xi

the day i finish a fic it’s over for yall

Adora's laugh is quiet, but genuine. She props herself up on an elbow to look down at Catra, and her gaze is serious. "You'd find me, wouldn't you? In our next life?"

1.

"When I thought I was going to die," Adora says, "it was you that I thought about, not anyone else. Every time my phone lit up, I wanted it to be because of you. But...we're still - I don't want to take advantage of you, or you of me. So," Adora takes both of Catra's hands in hers, touching her fully for the first time in days, "in a year from now, when we've settled everything, I am going to ask you out."

Catra's breath very audibly catches in her throat, and she can't help the startled laugh that stutters out. Adora feels more pleased with herself than she should for such a simple thing, to make Catra laugh, to fluster her instead of being the one that is always flustered. "This is your second confession today, you know that?"

And that's not exactly what Adora was expecting Catra to say, but - that's just Catra. "Second of many," is all she says, even though there is so much she wants to say.

"You've always been so direct...it's-"

"Bad?"

Catra takes a long few moments to respond, glancing down before shaking her head. "It's not bad, just...I'm a little taken aback."

They're still holding hands. "It's just easy with you." It always has been.

"I'm wondering," Catra drawls, putting up that fearless, careless facade again, "if you'll remember this in a year."

She's still letting Adora hold her hands, and she isn't pulling away. And that's more than enough, for now.

"I guess we'll have to see."

Catra's cheshire grin is somehow even lazier, even softer. "I guess we will."

2.

When they were little, Adora's bed felt so big, even when Adora lay stretched out and spread eagled. Catra could do the same if she wanted, but (like a kitten, Adora always teases) she always lays curled in a tiny, tiny ball.

Adora's bed is equally Catra's. In the summers, the days are all the same, with Catra waking up to Adora's quiet breaths ruffling her hair, and then staying still and quiet until Adora eventually wakens. Then it's breakfast and play outside and play inside and lunch and dinner, and more play until finally - bed. Always, always together.

And all through the years, as everything changes between them, Adora's bed stays the same. Catra always curls up on the left side, closest to the wall, and Adora always stretches out next to her on the right.

3.

"I feel like..." Adora chews at her lip, avoiding Catra's gaze as she tries to think of what to say. "A deep sense of foreboding. Like...something bad is going to happen. To me. And I just hope you know that I really did love you-"

"What are you talking about? Stop talking to me like it's our last time."

"I just-"

"You can't die," (Catra's voice breaks on the word, and Adora glances up, startled) "before me. I have never known a world without you, Adora. I was born into this world with you already in it, so you have to-"

Adora takes both of Catra's hands in hers, trying in her own way to soothe her; all Catra does is stare at her, gaze both intense and sad. "After me," Catra finally manages to say, "you have to die after me so my entire life on this earth would have been with you. I will have never known an existance without you, and I hope I never will. Please stay with me, Adora."

And there are so many things that Adora wants to say, but there is a lump in her throat that she just can't swallow around, and all she can say is, "Always."

4.

For as long as Adora has known, Catra has been by her side.

There are pictures of them sleeping in the same crib, with Adora clinging to Catra even in sleep, or Catra curling up in a little ball next to Adora, stretched out and mouth hung open. (Adora had cried and cried until Catra was put right next to her for naptime, apparently.)

And then there are so many memories - their friendship is built on scrapes and cuts, shared lunches and bare feet on the pavement, sledding and swimming and naps and staying up together until they both fall asleep.

What is important is that they are always, always together. Even in fifth grade, when they're put in separate homerooms, Adora always waits by Catra's classroom door so they can go to recess together. And in the ninth grade, when they have different lunch times, Catra sneaks out of class whenever she can just to spend five or ten minutes with Adora at lunch.

5.

Princess Adora is the most infuriating person Catra has ever met, and maybe she is just a little bit in love with her.

Catra is assigned to Adora when they are both thirteen, when Catra finally finishes basic training, but they've known each other for years upon years. In fact, as most of the other knights say, it had been Princess Adora that had chosen Catra above any other knight.

And Catra is proud, at first. She is the personal guard of the Crown Princess, staying by her side day and night instead of doing drilils upon drills and spars upon spars. She is special, she is wanted, she is needed.

But Princess Adora is...well.

She is sweet, and bright, and her smile is soft.

She tries for perfection in everything she does, and she is kind to everyone that she meets. Which is really fucking exasperating, if Catra is being honest. And that's not just because she wants Adora's time for herself, it's just - she's sick of following her around everywhere all the time.

6.

"Hey, Adora," Catra says through a laugh. She keeps her hands on Adora's waist (tiny, tiny) until she straightens, and then for a moment longer. "How's it hanging?"

Even though Catra can't see Adora's face, she can tell that the Princess is frowning - and when she turns, she's right. Adora is trying her hardest to scowl, but it melts into a soft smile when she meets Catra's gaze.

"Thank you, Catra. Though - how did you know where....?"

"Really, Adora? I've been your personal knight for how many years? I know you. And I know that you've been sneaking out for the past few months."

(At that, Adora freezes, clearly surprised, almost a little fearful.)

"Anyway, I'm kind of hurt that you never asked me for help with your...excursions, princess."

"Ugh, you would've just told my parents."

"Oh, ouch. I'm hurt."

"Good."

"I guess maybe I will do my duty - you know, as your personal guard - and tell-"

"No!" Adora grabs Catra's wrist, and her hand is so warm, and soft...

"Alright, you got me, princess. So where are we going?"

"You won't tell anyone," Adora says. Her blue eyes are almost gray, and for the millionth time, Catra can't help the way her gaze is tugged from Adora's eyes to her lips.

"Your word is my command, princess."

Adora keeps hold of her wrist for a moment longer, then nods. "I've been training," she admits, "or trying to."

"Training."

"Yes, training. You always say I'm helpless, and-"

"And I am here to protect you. That is my job, my life's purpose."

Adora glances away, and she draws a part of her - that bright spark that she only lets out when it's just the two of them - back into herself. "Yes, I know."

"Hey. Adora, Adora." Catra cups Adora's face in her hands, forcing their gazes to meet. "I just want you to be safe, okay?"

"I know that, I just...I don't want to be so weak. I don't want you to have to take care of me all the time."

"Who else is gonna do that, dumbass? For one, I don't think anyone could put up with all of your dorkiness-"

And there - Adora laughs, so Catra releases her. "Now come on, princess. If you're going to train, you're going to do it right."

"What, with you?"

"I was the best in my year, princess. There's a reason why they agreed to let you be mine."

"Funny - I'm pretty sure you belong to me."

And oh, oh. "I guess you're right."

7.

"Catra, can I tell you something?"

Adora's hint of a lisp peeks through, the way it tends to when she's upset or anxious. When Catra looks - really looks - she can see how worried Adora looks even if it's probably over something dumb like usual.

"Course, dummy."

Without asking permission, Adora climbs into Catra's bed, curling around her the way they always do. It's not until they're settled - Adora with her head resting on Catra's chest and her tiny fist clenched in Catra's shirt, one of Catra's legs thrown over Adora's and her arm wrapping around Adora's shoulders - that Adora whispers, "Sometimes, I feel weird about you."

With where Adora's head is, Catra is sure she can feel the way her heart stutters in her chest. "What do you mean?"

"Like...I know you. I mean, I do, but like I always knew you. Like even before we met."

And oh, because- yeah. Yeah. "What are you saying, dork?"

"It feels like we have centuries between us," Adora murmurs. Catra's heart skips a beat again, and Adora ignores it, continues. "Like we've had years upon years of time together. That's why you're so familiar. Because we share part of the same soul."

And maybe it's stupid, maybe she's stupid for believing Adora, but she does, because she feels it too. "Like our souls are tied together," and when Adora glances up, startled, Catra glances away. "Shut up."

"No, I-" Adora's laugh is quiet, but genuine. She props herself up on an elbow to look down at Catra, and her gaze is serious. "You'd find me, wouldn't you? In our next life?"

"Yeah," Catra manages. Her throat feels dry even after she clears it, and she gives up, speaking around the sudden lump in her throat. "I'll always find you."

8.

Adora sighs when she turns the corner and finds Catra standing victorious over a stinking demon corpse. She's bleeding profusely from a wound on her arm, but when Catra turns, all Adora can see is the vicious joy in her eyes and that familiar cheshire grin curving up the corners of her lips. "Hey Adora," her parabatai drawls, "you missed out."

"Come here, idiot," is all Adora says, already reaching for her stele almost on instinct. Catra obeys, holding our her arm, and Adora takes it none-too-gently just to make Catra hiss in annoyance.

"You know," she mumbles as she carefully draws yet another iratze onto her skin, "being so reckless is-"

"Hey. I killed it, that's what matters."

"I know! I just..." and at this point, Adora doesn't even have to say it. She rests one hand over Catra's heart, where the parabatai rune rests, and Catra's gaze softens.

"You don't have to worry about me dying on you, dork. You're stuck with me forever." With one hand she reaches out to cover Adora's hand with her own, and then with a mischievous grin, she smears her bloody hand on Adora's shirt.

"But that's for letting me do all the hard work."

"What happened to me missing out?"

"Oh, you did. Now come on, Adora, we've got demons to kill."

Adora sighs, but she can feel her parabatai's excitement beginning to bleed into her, and she nods. "Only if I get the next one."

9.

The mermaid's tail is shining gold and her eyes are bluer than the sky on a sunny day, and Catra falls in love immediately. Maybe that's weird, but she can't bring herself to care, not even when the mermaid drapes herself over Catra's surfboard and unbalances her, nearly sending her toppling into the water.

For a long few moments, they regard each other in silence, and then, without thinking, Catra reaches out. It's not until her hand is fully outstretched that she realizes that maybe she shouldn't, but the mermaid just watches her carefully, curiously. Her eyes flutter close when Catra rests her hand on her hair, not quite petting her even if that's all she wants to do.

She wants to say something, anything, but she feels like that would break this bubble of a spell, so she doesn't. All she does is not-quite pet the mermaid that is half resting on her surfboard, and fall slowly and headlong in love with her.

10.

The next time Adora goes to Entrapta's, Catra and Scorpia are there too. It's just the two of them - they're bent over their notebooks with a blunt on the table between them; neither of them look up until Adora calls out. Twin lazy grins spread over their lips, and Scorpia pats her leg for Adora to sit in her lap. She does, and - feeling brave, Adora rests her legs over Catra's lap. She's expecting Catra to laugh, or maybe push her off, but instead, Catra reaches out, spreading her hand around Adora's thigh as if trying to see how far around she can reach. It makes Adora's breath catch in her throat, and her gaze locks on Catra's hand, on her fingers as they dance up and up and-

"You wanna smoke too, Adora?"

Thank god for Scorpia, Adora thinks. Catra's wandering fingers freeze, and when Adora meets her gaze, she smiles, a cheshire grin that makes Adora shiver.

She nods.

"You smoke, Adora?"

Adora doesn't know why those three words make her heart race - maybe it's how raspy Catra's voice has gotten, maybe it's the warmth of her hand on her skin and the way she's looking at her, like-

"Not really," she stutters out, "I like edibles though."

"Adora's just a baby," Scorpia explains, full of fondness. "It took us almost a year to get her to smoke - she was so scared! And she's a lightweight too, it's cute." She fishes a lighter from between the couch cushions and lights the blunt for Adora, looking on proudly as she manages one, then two hits.

"Cute," Catra echoes. Adora takes another hit.

11.

"We've always been orbiting each other, don't you think?" Catra mumbles it into Adora's neck, and Adora takes a few moments to process what Catra is saying, what she really means. All the years of dancing around each other as friends, and then as almost-more-than-friends, and then as friends with benefit, and now-

"I'd follow you anywhere, Adora. You know that, right?"

And now Adora's mind wanders to their matching tattoos, to Catra driving across town to comfort her on the worst nights, to their thousandth confession and thousandth kiss (but the first time they meant it like this, as girlfriends, promising today and tomorrow and every day after-)

"You're kind of my sun, you know. My life kind of revolves around you."

And there is so much that Adora could say, but they are beyond words at this point, and it is passed 2am and the only thing on her mind now is I love you, I love you, I love you, so all she does is stretch up to kiss the corner of Catra's mouth.

Catra will understand. She always does.