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astro-child · 8 years ago

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only fools fall for you (I’m a fool)

pairing: jikook

rating: nc16

genre: soulmate au, angst & fluff, implied smut

a/n: for day 7 of #jikook fluff week <3 combining the name tattoo au with this song & post! yall might wanna grab a fluffy bolster/stuffed toy to hug :^))) ahh I’m not even sure this came out coherent omg anyway, comments and notes are very much appreciated u ____ u please enjoy~

summary: “Those who pretend as if they don’t love you,

are the ones who would hate to see you love another person.”

jimin is Nameless. it's part of the reason why jungkook had broken his own heart and pushed his soulmate away.

in the 21st century, everyone is born with their soulmate's name inscribed on the inside of their left wrist, except the Nameless. they were randomly chosen by the deities to be the only people who were free to roam, to search for The One, matching everyone else up ruthlessly.

jungkook always thought of it as a curse. his parents were nameless, too, and they used to tell him about how lucky he was to have a soulmate, to look down and know that someone out there loves you.

park jimin. he stares at the name scribbled on his wrist, then looks up to see said boy falling over namjoon, giggling, wondering if he’d committed a great sin in his past life, to be punished like this.

I. Everyday, every word that I say, lip service

jungkook tries his best not to get attached. it’s a hard task with someone like jimin, who cuddles him wherever and whenever he likes, ruffles his hair fondly each time he does something praise-worthy, smiles at him like jungkook was his entire world, stole kisses to his nape and cheeks.

he succeeds most of the time, pushes back the blush rising in his face, swallows his smile, ache blooming in his chest as the older’s face falls and he pulls away, defeated, stops his fingers from reaching out to curl around jimin’s wrist.

it’s always a mistake when he does let go, returns jimin’s affection with too much fervor, coming off too eager, too needy for attention. he tells jimin he’s cute (so. goddamn. cute), brushes his lips across the crown of the older’s forehead, stomach knotting in happiness as jimin’s face contorts into a beautifully bright smile, then regrets it right after, becoming greedy, wanting more.

“no, you’re beautiful,” the words slip from his mouth subconsciously as he watches jimin grumble to himself about how much he’s lacking.

the whisper shocks the older, and he spins around so fast he almost gets a whiplash, face crumpling with shame and embarrassment, but jungkook thinks he’s always handsome. “why are you here, jungkook-ah? it's late,” he replies, faking a smile, attempting to change the topic.

“recording a cover,” he smiles back, but it barely reaches his eyes. “I’ll...I’ll go now.”

on the way out, he hears jimin talking to himself, softer than before but still audible, frowning as he tries to perfect the angle of his jump step.

“if you don't do this properly nobody will like you,” the older rasps, and jungkook’s probably taking too long to leave the studio, but he spins around anyway.

he keeps his eyes on the ground. “you're perfect to me.” he makes the mistake of glancing up, eyes locking with jimin’s warm ones, unable to look away.

“everything I’ve ever wanted.” he continues, breathlessly, nervously thumbing at the loose strand of thread hanging down from his tank. he knows he should stop, too much truth in his words for jimin not to know, so when jimin takes a gut-wrenching step towards him, he backs out like the coward he is, running all the way back to the dorms and into the shower, panting heavily, mind reeling with regret.

II. Can't hide my fears, I tried but I'm in ruins

it happens during one of their osaka fan events, his biggest fear.

he remembers, just how his heart had jumped into his throat before crashing down hard, into the pit of his stomach as jimin’s legs buckled and his body crumpled before jungkook’s eyes.

it takes one two, no, three seconds for jungkook to realise that the scream resonating through the arena belongs to him.

he’s by jimin’s side in a flash, cupping the older’s pale face in his hands, berating himself for not having pointed out the ghostly color of the older’s lips before.

there are tears welling up in his eyes as the medic staff take jimin away, wanting so much to follow them down and off the stage, forget about the performance entirely, but namjoon has a deathly grip on his shoulders. “we have to finish the performance, kook,” he repeats, over and over and over again, and jungkook’s shoulders shake.

he messes up in three routines and his voice is shaky, hoarse as he takes over jimin’s parts, straining from overuse in another two, unable to focus. he can't do this.

somehow, they manage to end the event successfully, and jungkook bolts off the stage in record time, not caring about anything else. he bursts into the room, breath coming out in harsh, short pants, making a strangled noise in the back of his throat as he watches jimin lie lifelessly on the bed, connected to an iv drip, forehead patched up.

he steps into the room in a daze, heart squeezing and tightening uncomfortably, wishing he could be in jimin’s place.

his tattoo burns from where it rests on his arm. gently twining their fingers together, he waits late into the night, and then finally, after what feels like an eternity, jimin’s hand twitches in his hold.

slowly, the older cracks an eye open, sleepy from the relaxation pill and jungkook exhales in relief. “jungkookie?” he croaks, smiling stupidly.

jungkook has half a mind to reach up and kiss him silly. “don't you ever, ever do that again, park jimin,” he warns, voice tight and jimin giggles softly, bringing their hands to his chest. “m’kay, jungkookie.”

III. I could sit and lie to you, but what's the point? What's the use?

“you like jimin,” yoongi says, with an accusatory tone but jungkook knows better. his hyung would never do that to him. he pretends to not hear the sentence, turning up the volume of the music blasting through his earphones.

the older rips them out of his ears. he winces, looking over with a scandalized look and yoongi decides he’s had enough, tightly grasping jungkook’s wrist to pull it towards him.

jungkook knows what it says, has been staring at those two words neatly imprinted on his skin from the time he was born.

yoongi drops his arm promptly, gaze boring into jungkook’s. “you never told me—any of us. we would have helped.”

jungkook shrugs, doesn't even bother denying because yoongi knows, he always does. understands things better, faster, easier than anyone else in the group. “didn't think there was a chance.”

the older guffaws in disbelief. “so you were just going to give him up?” he states plainly, and jungkook’s almost offended at his tone.

“it's not like I want to, but he's park jimin. the guy who big dogs, small dogs, big humans, small humans, guys and girls all like? it's already pretty much impossible to get a Nameless to fall in love with you, much less a Nameless with a friendly, big-hearted personality like him.”

yoongi doesn't argue, and although jungkook’s won the argument, there's a heavy feeling weighing down his heart.

IV. You can see I'm blind for you

jungkook had always liked photography, thought that it was a nice idea, to be able to keep something with you forever.

he’d started the very year he’d joined bangtan, after a fan had gifted him with a DSLR camera for his fifteenth birthday, taking pictures of dogs, places, food and the other trainees.

but then one day, he’d been testing out focus shots during his break between vocal and dance lessons when he heard a loud bass beat ringing through the studio. that's odd, he thinks, peering through the window and oh.

there's a boy dancing his heart out in the middle of the room, bangs matted to his forehead, determination in his eyes. he looks a bit older than jungkook, more mature, but he’s small, only a few centimeters taller.

he’s so intrigued he almost forgets to breathe.

and then, subconsciously, jungkook reaches for his camera to take a picture, forgetting about the shutter.

the noise startles said boy and he stops mid-spin to meet jungkook’s eyes. for a moment, jungkook believes he's going to stalk over and make him delete the picture, just like some of the other trainees do, but the boy’s stoic expression cracks into a breathtaking smile and he beckons jungkook over.

“I heard about you!” he gushes, thick accent bleeding out, eyes sparkling and jungkook feels like he’s home. “you're the youngest trainee here, and the first dancer to join. it's nice to meet you.”

his wrist tingles but jungkook brushes the feeling away quickly, returning a shy smile. and that's how it all started.

V. You break the rules

“do you love dad?” he remembers asking his mother, holding her hand. his mother smiles, bringing the back of his hand up to kiss it. “of course, darling,” she whispers. “your soulmate will love you no matter what you do, or how you meet. it just happens.”

he wishes he were back home in busan, to tell his mom about how wrong she was.

instead, here he is, sitting on the cold hard floor of the track, watching as jimin fools around with literally everybody in the goddamn universe but him.

he hates chanyeol the most, really.

he hates how he can bravely reach for jimin’s hand to tangle their fingers together, pulling the older along the entire track, laughing carelessly, wishes he could do that too. he hates how chanyeol is tall, taller than him, and drapes over jimin in a perfect fit that has fans cooing and cheering. he hates how chanyeol doesn't have a name on his wrist either, but stares at jimin so fondly people might think they were soulmates.

jimin was his soulmate. shouldn't there be some kind of a bro code that the older was off-limits or something? christ, he’s so selfish.

chanyeol tips jimin’s chin up with a finger playfully, bringing their faces closer, eyes filled with so much adoration and puppy love that jungkook’s stomach flips uncomfortably and he physically has to force himself to look away, hurt and jealousy spreading like hot flames throughout his body.

(he doesn't see how jimin catches sight of him through the corner of his eye and immediately retracts, worrying at his bottom lip as he scurries over apologetically, remembering to keep his distance and give jungkook space, but still there.)

((he does jolt up in shock though, when lean, strong arms wrap around his waist and jimin buries his face into his neck, nosing at the jut of his clavicle. his body responds right away, freezing up, goosebumps rising on his skin, heart skittering impossibly fast in his chest, pink flush blooming on his cheeks.

but he's still angry, and jungkook's pretty damn good at keeping grudges, so he pulls away like he’s been burned, walking away without turning back.))

(((it’s not like he's expecting jimin to love him per se, with how affectionate he acts towards everybody, not just jungkook, but it's not like he wants jimin to hate him either. jungkook is a selfish, selfish man.)))

VI. And I'm the fool who wants you badly

he’s probably taken over five thousand pictures of jimin at this rate.

“you two are so cute it's disgusting,” yoongi says over his phone, sipping quietly at his iced coffee. jungkook shushes him immediately, snapping shots right and left of jimin and taehyung playing in the snow.

he smiles as he gets a picture of jimin falling over in laughter, eyes disappearing into crescents.

“have you ever gone through your hard disk?” namjoon teases and jungkook glares at him. of course he has. heck, he probably takes better pictures of jimin than those who go oppa~ and look here~ at fan events.

(he finds himself taking another picture on the way home from their afternoon schedules, jimin’s head rested on his shoulder, illuminated by the light shining in from the car windows.)

((it later becomes one of their most popular tweets, so much so that their manager had warned him to be more careful about his image.

jimin, on the other hand, had only bounced up to him with the brightest beam on his face, slinging an arm carelessly around his shoulder. “is that how pretty I look in your eyes?”))

(((“was jimin always this ethereal? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ” hoseok texts, spamming their group chat, and jungkook nods shyly to himself from the safety of his bed.

“I always thought he was.”)))

VII. No matter what you do

“you...you're really sure about this?” namjoon says in hushed whispers, shell-shocked and jungkook shrinks into his hoodie more, nodding. “it’s not three days, kook. it’s three months.”

he swallows, heart in his throat. “I need the break.”

namjoon nods, slowly, brows furrowed, clearly upset. tension fills the air and a blanket of awkwardness settles between them, the older’s unanswered questions buzzing so loudly jungkook can hear it without it being voiced. “because of jimin?” he finally blurts and jungkook shuts his eyes, nails digging into his palms, more reluctant this time as he mumbles out a yes.

the older shoots him one last affirmative look, to which he returns. “I’ll tell manager-hyung.”

the word about his trip spreads rather quickly, almost all of the members shooting him sad looks and laying a comforting hand on his shoulder a few days after, the only exception being jimin.

he's been rather good at avoiding the older lately, darting off in the wrong direction upon spotting jimin, coming back to the dorms in the wee hours of the night, way past jimin's sleeping time. if he remembers correctly (which he does), they haven't really spoken much off-camera in two weeks, three days and ninety-two minutes, not that jungkook's counting.

which is why he swears in shock as he returns home to jimin sitting on the couch, blanket bunched around his chest, barely awake with the lights completely off.

“hyung—” he says, having half a mind to tell him to sleep early, but jimin sees him and straightens almost immediately, face void of any smile or emotions.

“why didn't you tell me?” his voice is awfully quiet, strained, and jungkook isn't used to this. to a jimin with steely brown eyes, lips twisted ever so tight, tone harsh.

his breath catches in his throat and jungkook panics momentarily, heart stuttering uncomfortably in his chest.

“about what?” he meekly feigns ignorance, tries to leave but jimin’s unforgiving stare has him pinned in his spot. at his response, jimin chuckles bitterly, eyes flitting up to the ceiling angrily.

“do you really hate me that much?” jungkook’s heart stops right in his chest. what?

“look, I’m sorry the universe paired you with someone like me but do you always have to...” he trails, voice breaking, and jungkook’s mind reels, breath coming in short pants. “leave me out of your business?”

“what are you—hyung, wait, you know?” he breathes, head spinning and the hurt on jimin’s face is enough to make his heart clench painfully. “you're so selfish, you know that, jeon jungkook? have you ever thought that maybe I wanted to be a part of your life too?”

“you don't tell me that I’m your soulmate, you don't tell me about your goddamn hiatus—to LA—for three months. have you never wondered about how hurt I’d be when I found out? woke up the next morning to you...gone?” jimin spits, standing up now, jabbing his chest.

“it's not like that—” jungkook hurries to explain, fear of losing jimin settling in, fingers fisting into his shirt so tightly his knuckles turn white.

jimin snorts, eyes glassy. “it's not like what? jungkook, we live together. I’ve seen your tattoo as many times as you’ve seen the blank space on my wrist, even if you try to hide it. you were never going to tell me. if you reject me, place me seventh in rank for looks and say you’d never date me then you hug me, kiss me, hold me and tell me you love me the next moment, what am I supposed to do?”

“but you're Nameless!” he snaps, volume rising with every word, cutting jimin off, tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. “you're Nameless and you might be confused! you don’t have to love me, okay? it's not your fucking responsibility just because your dumb name is on my wrist. don’t you get it? I only wanna hold you and touch you and kiss you and date you, but for you, it doesn't have to be me. you can do better than that, so that's why you aren't capable of loving me like I love—”

jimin holds up a hand, entirely silent, tears falling and jungkook’s fingers itch to wipe them away. he hates it all.

“you're right. maybe...maybe you should go.”

with that, jimin grabs his wallet and phone and leaves, the lonely thud of the door resonating through the entire apartment and it's just him now, left alone to break down in his misery.

VIII. I still love you madly

“one of you has to give up and make the move, you know,” taehyung sighs, finally speaking his mind after a day of awkward silence between his best friends. jungkook doesn’t respond, busy tapping away at his phone screen, probably playing some odd game.

“you can’t just leave without settling things, kook-ah. or at least trying to. he's your soulmate after all.”

jungkook pauses, locking his phone and throwing it to the side of the bed. “is that all you're here for?”

the older rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at his stubbornness but jungkook frankly doesn't care. what did taehyung take him for? of course he wanted to settle things, but jimin…

jimin hadn't even glanced at him for the past three days.

“listen, I’ve been his best friend since eons ago and I know it when I say he loves you, okay? he loves you a whole lot, looks at you like you're his world,” taehyung says, exasperatedly.

jungkook doesn't believe him. not one bit. “he doesn't know what he’s doing—”

taehyung groans, clawing at his hair. “but he does! he doesn't have to love you but he does! you weren't the one who had to sit with him at a bar till half past three, watching him bawl his eyes out about being Nameless and wishing your name would magically appear on his skin, okay? you're just so fucking dense sometimes, jungkook-ah.”

“what do I even say?” he snaps back, all the mixed emotions rushing out of his system. “that I don't hate him? that I’m just shy and scared he’ll get tired of me, so I rank him last in looks every single time and say I’ll never date him, but I lack self-control, so sometimes I let my heart rule my brain and tell him half of the things I want to say? it's not like I wanted to hide the fact that he’s my soulmate, I just didn't know how to go about it, worried about his reaction, if he’d push me away, okay? I’m shy and scared and scared because I love him, goddamnit! more than anything else in the world.”

he chokes on his inhale, eyes caught on the figure standing at his door. for a second, he expects jimin to turn around and leave, but the older remains in his spot, sharply knocking on the door, seemingly to alert taehyung.

“can we talk?” jimin’s standing at the doorway, expression unreadable, eyes fixated on taehyung’s hand around jungkook’s wrist. jungkook nods, confusedly, sitting upright, and taehyung flees in record time, patting jimin’s shoulder on the way out, shutting the door.

jungkook pretends not to hear how taehyung whispers I’m glad you listened, bro to jimin.

and then there's a long, startlingly loud silence as jimin walks over to sit down by the bed. his eyes are soft, gentle as he pushes away the stray locks of hair covering jungkook’s face.

the action is too intimate, and jungkook reaches up to grab jimin’s hand, a quiet signal for him to stop. “hyung—” he mumbles, lost, and jimin hushes him, but pulls away nonetheless.

“are you scared of me?” he asks pointedly, a tinge of pain threaded into the timbre of his voice. jungkook is quick to shake his head, tangling his fingers into the bedsheets in order to stop himself from resting them on jimin’s hips. “even like this?” he continues, bracing two hands on the headboard as he leans close, then closer, to jungkook.

the younger nods, squirming a little bit, sinking down the mattress till he’s fully on his back, avoiding his gaze. their breaths mingle in the short distance, and jungkook can practically feel jimin on his skin.

“do you trust me then?” jimin murmurs, thick accent flooding his voice and god, if only jimin knew how much it affected jungkook.

jungkook nods, more reluctant this time but equally as sure. with that, jimin straddles him, thigh slotting itself between his legs, hands pinning his to the sheets carefully, fingers intertwining. jungkook’s breath hitches and he feels entirely vulnerable like this, nowhere to run.

“I wanna hear it.” jimin leans down to mouth at the shell of his ear. the older pulls away as his body seizes, worried about crossing the line, and a needy whine rips from his throat uncontrollably.

“I trust you,” jungkook stammers, heart going wild. he doesn't have much time to ponder about the consequences though, because jimin’s lips are pressed against his in the next moment.

sparks fly behind his eyelids as they kiss painfully slow at first, treading water. jungkook whimpers into his mouth once he realizes that he's not dreaming, and jimin is eager to swallow it down.

he grows impatient after a while, licking into the roof of jimin’s mouth as he guides the older’s tongue into his mouth, moaning shamelessly. they kiss for a while longer, until jimin pulls away and jungkook’s crashed back into reality. “hyung, you—”

“still trust me?” jungkook nods, opening his mouth to speak but jimin shushes him, natural blush oddly apparent in the dim light. “listen closely, jeon jungkook. I don't know how I fell in love with someone as dense as you, but I’m happy I did. I really am, even though you're always a brat to me, calling me short and stirring up my emotions with your caring actions after. I don't know how much faith you have in me, but I will never, ever get tired of you so will you please…”

his voice cracks, airy. “accept me?”

needless to say, jungkook acquiesces.

(the night ends with him gasping into jimin’s mouth, rutting up against the older desperately, jimin grinding down slowly, too slow, fingers digging into his hipbones, mapping out jungkook’s body with his lips.

“never gonna let anyone touch you again,” jimin growls against the marred skin of his neck, laving his tongue over the dark bruises blooming across his neck.

he ends up coming into his pants with an embarrassingly loud whine as he makes the mistake of glancing down at the slick seeping out of his boxers and smearing against jimin's jeans, mixing with the older’s, breath stuttering in his chest, flushing at how fucking wet he is, practically dripping all over himself. jimin releases right after, heaving as though the thought of jungkook coming was enough to get him off, biting down on the inside of his wrist where jungkook’s tattoo is.)

((although jimin makes it a point to tease him about it, he’ll admit himself that yeah, it is pretty hot.))

XI. With your every move

jungkook wakes up to someone kissing down his body, sensitive, back arching off the bed. “hyung,” he groans, shudder running through his body and jimin smirks from where he sucks marks into jungkook’s flesh, kiss-swollen lips shining with spit when he pulls away.

“morning,” jimin says, using his accent on purpose, drinking in the way jungkook’s thighs shake in his hands as his voice dips into a lower register.

jungkook realises he has his oversized blue sweater bunched around his armpits and a pair of white panties with blue stripes on when he finally, finally opens his eyes, and really, there’s only one culprit responsible for this, because jeon jungkook is team #sleepnaked. said culprit pushes his thighs apart obscenely, trailing kisses up, up, up his thighs and stomach, stopping at his nipples and god, he’s never going to be able to look at his sweater the same way again.

“morning,” he mumbles later, hooking his chin over jimin’s shoulder, backhugging the older as he pours milk into both their cereals. jimin reaches back to ruffle his hair affectionately, before waddling them out of the kitchen where the other boys are.

namjoon spits out a mouthful of milk upon seeing them and taehyung groans appropriately, seated opposite the cute leader.

hoseok makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat as he walks into the living room.

yoongi tsks, pulling out a chair for his boyfriend. “two months of disgustingly cheesy words and cringey couple clothes and you guys still can’t get used to this?”

“you wouldn't mind doing that with hobi though,” jungkook states, shrugging and yoongi cusses at him, but a pink blush stains his cheeks.

whipped, jungkook mouths over jimin’s head sneakily and yoongi shoots him the finger, drawing a thumb across his neck.

you’re dead.

“you really cried your heart out there, kookie,” jimin teases with a lilt in his voice, seated comfortably in jungkook’s lap as the younger carefully takes his makeup off.

“shut up,” he grunts, embarrassed and jimin giggles even more, laugh tinkling like church bells.

the older pulls his hand away to lace their fingers together, smiling down at him beautifully before kissing the back of his hand. “I thought it was cute.”

jungkook huffs, tugging his hands out of the older’s grasp as he wipes of jimin’s foundation with a piece of cotton wool. if jimin notices the flush grazing his cheeks, he doesn't say anything about it.

“bingsu?” he asks later, walking towards the backstage exit of the concert arena and jimin hums like he's actually contemplating it.

they let go of each other’s hand unwillingly as they reach the door, fingers twiddling with each other until it’s finally pulled open for them. somehow, it feels like everything and nothing has changed about their relationship, jimin still fussing lovingly over him, and him still being a brat.

one day, jungkook promises himself as he shoots a smile in the direction of one of his biggest fansites before getting into the car after jimin.

one day he’ll show them off to the world.

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