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ssahotstuff · 3 years

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HOME//Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader PART 5

All previous parts can be found here

Summary: Emily Prentiss convinces Aaron Hotchner to get a nanny, and she knows the perfect girl for the job. You.

word count: 9.8k

Warnings for this series: SMUTTTT of all the types, minors DNI!! any minors that interact with my work with be blocked! my blog is 18+, violence, depictions of ab*se, terror, cursing, drug/alcohol content, death, crime, in-depth explanations of abuse, trauma, etc, mentions of scars from abuse, this part and the next are very triggering

ILY GUYS sorry im going through it heavy rn but didn’t want to leave yall hanging

ALSO it only gets literally insane from here. buckle tf up please and thank u,i don’t want anyone hurt on the ride down

When I found her she was on the top floor, in front of the massive window on a giant fur rug she'd made herself at home on. She was drinking tequila directly from the bottle, patting the space in front of her for me to join her.

"You'll need this," she handed the bottle to me and I took it gratefully.

"I'm telling you this because I trust you. If you want to know so bad, you'll know. Just promise you'll still love me when I'm done talking."

I took a swig, grabbing her hand.

"Nothing you could tell me would make me stop loving you."

"Okay... Aaron, be patient with me. I've never said any of this out loud."

She took a deep breath, visibly shaking as she reached for the bottle, taking another large sip.

"My dad left before I was born. I still don't know where he is. My mom was okay, halfway at least, until I was 6 and my brother was born. No idea who his dad is. She had postpartum psychosis, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. She was on drugs, which didn't help, and she didn't want kids, which made having 2 children really tricky," she chuckled, voice cracking already, but she pushed through it. My beautiful, brave girl.

"Ben, the oldest, was 3 weeks old when she left us. She cried for days, and I knew something was wrong. So, I watched her make the bottles and change his diaper so I'd be prepared if it did. One night, I was asleep in the recliner and she woke me up and said that I'd done this to her, made her so sad. That's what she meant. So I had to help her by taking care of him. So I did. It wasn't until I got busted for shoplifting formula that my family got involved, but no one ever did anything. My mom is really manipulative, so she would just turn the tears on and they'd forgive her. She'd come home, beat me for being careless, and leave again."

She removed her shirt again, lifting her breasts to reveal a constellation of tiny spots, scars, I realized after a minute.

"Cigarette burns. Tears set her off. Made her have these meltdowns. She couldn't handle babies, or the crying. Tears were the most horrible sin, only unforgivable one," she whispered, pulling her shirt back down as quickly as she could.

"Baby," she moved closer, letting me hold onto her. "You never have to hide from me, pretty girl. Never."

"Emily tells everyone we met in school. That's not entirely true. She was my neighbor. She was the deciding factor in me staying alive some days. But my mom knew that Emily knew. So Emily taught me Morse code, so I could tap out 'SOS' on her window if I needed her. It's a habit I still haven't kicked. I'm surprised you didn't catch on to it immediately."

It was all starting to make sense.

"Emily got me out of there. I didn't come straight to Virginia, not at first. I went to school, but Emily got me into a program for minors that were in abusive households, and they emancipated me and I graduated high school at 17. Had a degree by 21, and another by 25. I did everything I could to make sure I never had to go back there."

"Two degrees?"

"I have a degree in criminal psychology," she admitted, earning a low laugh from me in return.

"My impressive girl didn't even want to tell me she was impressive."

"I wanted to be just like Emily. But once I finished, I realized it wasn't what I wanted to do, so I went back to school and now I'm writing."

"I hope you know you amaze me. Every single thing about you is astounding to me."

"Do you feel better now that you know?" She asked, face buried in my neck. She was still shaking slightly, but she seemed to be calming down some.

"I feel closer to you than I've ever felt. Thank you for telling me. I know it took a lot of courage and I want you to know that I'm proud of you." I promised her, knowing that she'd kept it a secret for so long that it was probably second nature to her to keep things in.

"I know I didn't tell you everything, but you know more than anyone else ever has."

"The fact that you told me anything at all means the world to me, sweetheart. I hope you know I will always keep you safe. I know you've spent your life being scared, but I don't want you to live like that anymore. Let me take care of you," I kissed her softly, hands on her hips, her body in my lap.

"I have a secret to tell you," she said between kisses, tongue lazily tracing my lips as we sat on the rug together.

"Tell me, baby. You can tell me anything any time you want."

"The real reason I didn't do relationships before was that I was afraid for anyone to see me. I had never been completely exposed to anyone. You were the first and the last. I won't give myself to anyone like this after you. The things we've done together... I was terrified, Aaron. Petrified for anyone to see me. I never felt that with you. There was never a minute of hesitation when it came to you."

My dick twitched involuntarily at the thought of being the only person in her entire life to have her, and she noticed because she shifted herself on top of me so she could straddle me. My length was still covered but nestled in the heat of her thighs.

"What is it, baby? Do you love the idea of being the only person to ever touch me?" She teased in my ear, mouth nuzzling lightly at my jaw. She was driving me mad

"I don't want anyone else to ever have you the way I have," I growled, grinding her against my hips to find any sort of relief.

"I don't want anyone else, only you," she promised, fingers lifting my shirt over my head, trailing so delicately over my skin that I felt goosebumps rising all over me. Between the tequila, the thrill of our first Christmas together, mixed along with everything else, the surge of emotional connection I felt towards Y/N was like electricity. I wanted to memorize every second of my life with her from here forward.

"I never thought I'd tell anyone I loved them ever again. I'm glad you proved me wrong," I muttered against her chest before wrapping my tongue around her nipple, causing her to push her chest forward and further into my face. I worked with my free hand on her other breast, massaging it gently as she moaned softly, eyes glued to my mouth.

"I love every part of you, even when you weren't so sure about things," she panted, and I watched with wide eyes as she slipped her hands past the waistband of her shorts, rubbing furiously at her clit while I sucked on her chest.

"Oh baby, are you desperate to cum?" I questioned, laying her down on the rug so I could shed her shorts. She never removed her hand, she just nodded, whimpering slightly as I stripped her down.

"Want you so bad, Aaron. Feel," she guided my fingers to her center, inhaling sharply when I slid them through her folds, collecting every drop of her juices I could get my hands on. I sucked her off my fingers without a second thought, not bothering to reply as I let my tongue find her clit. She screamed into her hand, hips bucking to meet my mouth.

"No one around for miles, pretty girl. Make all the noise you want," I half begged her, desperate to hear her scream while I was between her thighs. Spreading her open, I took my time licking from her lips to her center, using my fingers to expose her clit completely.

"Let me know if this is too much," I told her before I wrapped my lips around her, sucking lightly at first, earning a series of beautiful whimpers from her.

"More please," she pleaded, replacing my fingers with her own. I understood what she meant, sliding two fingers inside of her, curling them into her. I kissed her clit lightly, remembering how crazy it made her the last time I did it. I didn't expect her to clench around my fingers immediately, soaking them as she screamed my name.

"Yes baby, so good," normally I would have given her a break, but it was Christmas, and the liquor coursing through my veins wanted me to get intoxicated on her taste. I continued kissing her pussy, letting her wrap her legs around my neck as I got lost in her. I don't know how long she just let me lay there, but neither of us was complaining. She was too busy soaking the rug to care about the time, and frankly, I would have spent the entire duration of our getaway right there with my tongue inside of her if she would have let me.

"Not tired yet?" She questioned, hands holding my face firmly between her legs. I shook my head, taking a break only long enough to ask her to sit on my face. She agreed immediately, situating herself above me, hovering above me long enough for me to get the best view of her. She was glistening, pussy pink and swollen, dripping down her thighs.

"Do you have any idea how much it means to me that you let me touch you like this?" I asked, kissing her thighs, her ass, my lips had no particular destination in mind, they just wanted to be attached to her.

"I trust you completely. I want to try everything with you," she breathed, watching me closely as I pulled her down to sit halfway on my chest, halfway on her legs.

"You aren't going to hurt me, baby. Sit down on my face, please," she finally sat her face on my mouth, causing me to moan into her. Her head was thrown back as she finally quit being shy, using her hands to guide my mouth where she wanted it, grinding against my tongue as sweat dripped from her brow and her cum dripped onto my chin and my chest. I wanted to wear her around my neck just like this, like a trophy.

"Pretty girl," I mumbled, mostly to myself, but it earned a soft smile from her in response before she turned around abruptly, switching positions quicker than I could keep up, all so she could put my cock in her throat.

"Fuck, Angel," I hissed, meeting her mouth with my hips as I thrust into her, the little moan she made causing me to shudder beneath her. Our tongues worked mercilessly on each other, our filthy cries of pleasure echoing throughout the cabin like a pornographic movie. The fact that she'd never done this with anyone else only fueled my desire to do it more, and then some. I'd spend the entire weekend giving her firsts, and maybe getting a few of my own in the process. I was sure we'd probably have sex while we were here, but I never expected to experience something so purely passionate with her. That was the best thing about her, just when you thought things couldn't be better, she had a way of surprising you, giving you more than you ever thought possible.

That's all I could think about as she gagged around me, my cock so far in her throat I wondered how she was breathing. She gave every bit of herself, body, mind, and soul, every single time she did anything. It was admirable to the point that it was almost eerie. It gave her a saint-like persona that anyone else would think was fake, but I knew better. She was an Angel walking here on earth, and I'd been lucky enough to get to experience her. Selfishly, I wanted to keep her here forever so I never had to share her with the world again, but I knew that wasn't practical. So I'd settle for making her a permanent part of my life, no matter what the cost.

"Gonna marry you," I managed to choke out, head resting against her thigh as I watched her, tits bouncing against my chest as my dick bobbed in and out of her mouth. She moaned harshly, causing her throat to tighten around me.

"Oh, fuck, baby," I could barely hold my eyes open as she worked her hand at the base of my cock, her mouth wrapped around the rest, working in perfect rhythm together. I was starstruck, I couldn't even raise my hips to thrust into her mouth anymore. I just let her choke on my cock, thick streams of cum sputtering into her mouth as she hollowed her cheeks around me.

I took advantage of the current position she was in, pussy still in my face, ass in the air, her knees spreading above me so she could completely open herself up above me.

"I'm not done," I told her, burying my tongue inside of her, feeling the heat of her core on the entirety of my face.

"Aaron, oh my god," I felt her body stiffen above me, and a second later I felt the sweet rush of her orgasm on my tongue. It was taking hardly any effort at all to make her cum at this point, and it was addictive. Every time I tasted her cum on my tongue, I wanted more.

"You tired?" I questioned, not waiting to hear her reply, I was already tucked away between her lips, clit on my tongue.

"Not in the slightest," she giggled, and in return it made me smile. So pure. So sweet.

"Cum one more time and we can take a break. Get a snack and move to the bed," I told her, kissing her clit lightly, knowing that's all it would take to make her come undone.

"Don't stop," she pleaded, and I shook my head, kissing over and over until her thighs shook and my face was drenched.

"You know better. I'd never stop knowing you were so close," I whispered, kissing her thigh before letting her crawl off of me. She kissed me hard; if I would've been standing, my knees would have gone weak.

"I love you, Aaron." It was like music to my ears.

"I love you," I kissed her temple, helping to get her dressed before I worried about my own clothes.

"I meant what I said, about marrying you," I mentioned, watching her curiously as I pulled my own shirt over my head.

"I never thought I'd be anyone's wife. Are you sure you want that?" She sounded almost worried as she doubted herself. I grabbed her wrists, holding them firmly in one hand and tilting her face to look at me with the other.

"Would I have said it if I wasn't sure? You don't realize how precious you are, sweetheart. I don't ever want to have to give you up," I kissed her, releasing her hands so she could jump into my arms. I loved that she would do this, let me carry her around in my arms. I craved being able to make her feel secure in any way I could. I wondered how I let myself go so long denying my feelings for her. It wasn't fair to either of us, but especially not to her. I'd spend the rest of my life trying to make up for those weeks of doubt.

"I just don't want you to regret it," she mumbled, sitting on the counter long enough for me to find the two of us a snack. I held up a tub of vanilla ice cream, receiving a thumbs up in response, so I grabbed a spoon, grabbed my girl, and carried her up the stairs.

"I'd never regret anything I did with you, and I mean that," we flipped on the television, snacking on ice cream and talking about the future.

"I think marrying you sounds like a great way to spend the rest of my life," she said, resting her hand on my thigh. I admired the way the ring Jack and I had gotten her looked on her hand, and fantasized about things I never thought I'd think about again. Marriage, a change in career, or a transfer at least.

A baby.

Wait, what?

I hadn't thought about being a father until we already knew Jack was going to be here. The idea of planning a pregnancy, watching Y/N glow, Jack becoming a big brother...

"Baby, your phones ringing," she interrupted my thoughts, my heart sinking at the thought of my phone ringing so late. I wandered to the hall, finding it near the rug from earlier, realizing it was Dave.

"Hotchner."

"You're gonna hate me for what I'm about to say," he started, and I rolled my eyes, knowing it couldn't be good.

"On Christmas? Really?"

"No. On January 2nd. Leading some sort of task force overseas. You were requested specifically by Strauss."

"Of course I was."

"She'll be fine. She knows it's part of the job," Rossi said coolly, and I sighed, knowing that she'd be more than understanding. That's what made it so difficult.

"I'll talk to her. Does this mean my vacation can continue as planned?"

"Hey, no more interruptions from me. Have fun. And I'm sorry. That sort of distance is rough."

"It'll be dealt with. Thank you, Dave."

She knew something was off immediately, climbing into my lap to comfort me. I gripped her tightly, knowing months away from her overseas would drive us both insane. It was, unfortunately, part of my job, but Jack and Y/N made me question my loyalty to the BAU with every passing day.

"Are we leaving?" She questioned, and I shook my head, sighing as I explained to her what Dave had just told me.

"I understand," she said almost immediately, causing me to pull her into me, my hands in her hair.

"I knew you would baby, but you shouldn't have to. This is no way for me to ask you to live," I told her, and I meant it. I was going to have to either give up my position or give up my time with my son and my relationship, and neither was going to be easy, but they needed me more.

"I don't think you understand that I mean it when I say I'll support you no matter what," her voice was so soft, I knew it would be easy to leave and come back and she'd love me as nothing had changed. She'd be waiting on me at the door every single time. But eventually, it would wear her down. She'd probably never tell me if it did, but that wasn't a risk I was willing to take.

"I know you would, and I love you for that. But Jack deserves a father that's around for things regularly. And you deserve consistency from me. Earlier, we were talking about marriage and it was the weirdest thing..."

She perked up, eyes on me.

"I was just thinking about how I want to give you everything, and I couldn't help but imagine us and Jack and maybe a baby? Is that's something you'd be interested in? We should talk about that, it's important," I encouraged, and she nodded, settling into my side.

"I've never thought about it before, but I've definitely been considering it lately."

"Define lately."

"Since earlier, when you said I was motherly without trying to be. It made me think about what kind of mother I'd be, but I already have a pretty good idea, I think."

"You spend every second of the day with Jack. You do everything a mother does and you choose to do it. That's very admirable."

"I love him like he's my own, that's for sure. I've never loved anyone the way I love Jack," her voice was different when she talked about Jack. It was pure love, projected into words. It made me almost breathless.

"You went from a stranger to someone I want to share my life with within a matter of a few months. You shook our entire world, baby. I hope one day you can see how special we both think you are."

She was almost asleep, arm around my waist, breathing deeper with every passing moment.

"I love you, Aaron," she whispered, barely audible above the noise of the tv.

"I love you, Angel. Get some sleep."

✨✨✨✨

Things had been interesting for you since Aaron had gone overseas. You were actually communicating with him actively, him texting you every spare moment he got. He'd been extremely clingy, and you were enjoying every second of it. You couldn't get enough of him, and you weren't sure if you'd ever be fully satisfied ever again if you didn't have him. He was showing you what love was like for the first time, and you wondered how it could get any better.

But he continued surprising you.

About 6 weeks into his assignment, he asked if you were awake around 5 am. You were, every morning on the dot so you could get Jack ready for school. He was calling you, so you retreated to his room, flopping onto the bed as you answered.

"Hi baby," you breathed, excited to hear his voice.

"Hi, angel. Miss me?"

"More than ever. I'm glad you called," you told him, hearing him chuckle lowly in response.

"I miss you both so much. I can't stop thinking about you. I'm on my way to get some sleep but I wanted to talk to you on the drive."

"I'm glad to hear you're making time to sleep," you said honestly. He had been so tired when you first moved in, you often wondered how he functioned.

"Have you thought about what we talked about?"

"I have. I've been sure, I just wanted to wait for you baby," you assured him, hopeful for your future with him. Before he'd left, he'd given you a job: house hunting. If you wanted, of course. And you did. You wanted a home with him, and everything that had to offer.

He'd also said if you wanted to quit your birth control, that would be fine too.

You quit taking it the day after Christmas, and your body was suffering the consequences. You'd been moody, irritable, and so hungry.

"I've been so grumpy, I didn't realize how bad it could mess me up," you told him, fishing through your closet for something to wear for the day. Once you'd come home from the cabin, you moved into Aaron's room. It was his idea, even though yours was bigger. He wanted to share a room, and this is where you'd settled.

"I'm having a hard time concentrating over here because all I can think about is coming home and putting a baby in you," he admitted, voice an octave lower.

"Plenty of time for baby-making when you're back, do what you have to do and get home to us," you said, knowing that his stay overseas wasn't even halfway over.

"I'm requesting a transfer when I get back. Something more stationary. I want to be home every night."

"We both know you won't be happy with that," you told him, earning a sigh in response.

"It doesn't matter. I won't be happy if I don't ever get to see Jack or you," he countered, and you knew this was a conversation that no one could win.

"We can talk about this when you get home, just think about it okay? I want you to be happy at your job. Let me take care of things here, just worry about getting you back home safe."

"I love you. I'll text you after I've slept. Tell Jack I love him please."

You promised you would, getting off the phone and going about your normal routine. You'd have coffee, make Jack something to eat, and wake him up in time to have breakfast with you. It was your routine every single morning, and you loved every minute of it.

After you had him dropped at school for the day, you usually went grocery shopping for something for dinner, but you had different plans today. You were house hunting, scouting houses in Jack's school district so he wouldn't have to switch schools. You'd found a few potentials, jotting down the information and making a mental note to find the listing online so you could show Aaron. You were in love with one, in particular, an older home still in the district but away from the suburbs. It had a giant yard, and a reasonable price tag considering the location was excellent. You put it at the top of your list and took a break for coffee.

On a normal day, you'd go through the drive-through, but you had all day to spare, so laptop in tow, you headed inside, ordering the usual and finding a place to get comfortable.

"Y/N?"

You looked up from the screen, a mixture of horror and fear coursing through you as you realized the voice belonged to Lea, your previous roommate. You'd dipped out on her months ago, cutting all contact after your move to Aaron's. She'd tried to text and call, but you weren't interested in answering.

"Oh, hi Lea," you said shyly, terrified of what she might say. She took the seat across from you, her red hair dull in the harsh lighting, making her appear more menacing than usual.

"You've been ignoring my calls and my texts. What's your deal?"

You sat down your coffee, annoyed by the way she'd just intruded on your space.

"I have a life, one I couldn't have living with you, so just leave Lea. I'm trying to work," you spat, hoping you could get her to just walk away without causing a scene.

"How is your little boyfriend doing?"

You eyed her curiously, wondering how she knew anything about him. You hadn't talked to her or told her anything.

"Not sure what you're talking about," you bluffed, typing away at your computer like she wasn't even sitting there.

"Cut the crap. I saw you buying a shiny new watch a few weeks ago. Aaron Ellis...Hotchner, was it?"

"Are you following me?"

"Oh, don't be so vain, everyone Christmas shops."

"Whatever. Who I buy things for is none of your concern," you told her, texting Emily from beneath the table to see if she was around. She wasn't, and neither was anyone else you texted, except for Derek Morgan, who assured you he was on his way as quick as possible.

"Scared I'm gonna hurt ya?" She teased, leg kicking yours beneath the table.

"Cut the shit, Lea. Back the fuck up. You're in my space and I don't have to deal with your shit," you normally didn't curse, but you were seeing red. She was one person who knew how to push your buttons.

"I don't think putting your hands on the fiancée of a federal agent is a very good idea," Morgan said calmly, his arms crossed over his chest. You hadn't even noticed him come in.

"A federal agent, huh? Fancy," Lea continued, statue-still in the seat across from you.

"Let's go mama," Derek told you, grabbing your laptop and asking the barista to make you a coffee to go.

"This isn't over, not until I find out what makes Aaron Hotchner so special," she glared at you, gathering her things and heading for the door before Derek could even hand your fresh cup of coffee to you.

"That girl is obsessed with you," Derek said, walking you out of the cafe and to your car.

"I haven't seen her since I moved in with Aaron, but apparently she's seen me. I think I'm going to go get Jack from school," you muttered to yourself, searching for your phone so you could text Aaron and make sure it was okay. Jack never missed school, so Aaron would immediately know something was going on.

"You don't think she'd do anything to hurt you, do you? Hotch would kill me if I let you leave here like this," he already had his phone out, calling Rossi to see what he should do. Aaron was calling you within minutes of Derek hanging up the phone.

"Listen to me," his voice was serious, calm, but terrifying. You were definitely listening.

"Derek's going to take you to get Jack. Go to my office, you have the key. Toss your phone as soon as we hang up. From now until I get back, you don't go anywhere alone, baby. JJ is at the house with a team, packing a bag."

"I don't think it's that serious, I just got freaked out."

"Derek does think it's that serious, and that's enough for me."

"Okay. I'm sorry, Aaron, I'm so sorry."

You didn't want to cry, but you couldn't help it. You were terrified and he was a literal ocean away from you. You were scared, but more than anything, you wanted him with you, and that was impossible.

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry. I should be there."

"You work, we'll figure this out," you assured him, giving Derek the honors of smashing your phone against the pavement.

The entire ride to Jack's school, your heart pounded. You prayed that she wouldn't do anything to hurt a child, but you didn't really know anything about Lea other than the fact that she thought you belonged to her because you were roommates. You finally calmed down for a little bit once you had him safely in the backseat, but it was short-lived after Derek received a disturbing call from JJ.

"Morgan. You're not serious? I... I gotta tell her, JJ. She's right next to me. Call Hotch. We're headed back now."

He ended the call, turning the radio up. You were only a few short minutes from the FBI academy where Aaron's office was located, so you rode in silence, knowing whatever he had to say could wait until Jack wasn't listening. The two of you followed him inside, and you didn't dare to speak until Aaron's office was unlocked and Jack was tucked safely inside, stepping into the hall to join Derek, Spencer, and Rossi.

"JJ just called, the whole house is bugged. Dust on the cameras and mics, so probably has been since she moved in," Derek said, and your first instinct was to turn sharply to make sure Jack was still behind the door where you left him. You were sick at the thought of someone, not just someone, Lea, spying on you, Aaron and Jack.

"It still isn't enough for a warrant. All Lea did was threaten her, we can't know anything for sure," Rossi said, and you nodded, feeling the blood rush to your head all at once. You were going to pass out, or be sick, maybe both. Just before you hit the floor, Derek grabbed you, leading you into Aaron's office so you could sit on his couch.

"He should be here, Derek," you whispered, head in your sleeve as you tried your hardest to calm down. Jack needed you to be strong and with Aaron so far away, it was your responsibility to make sure Jack stayed safe. You patted the space next to you, urging Jack to come and sit with you. He came gladly from his spot on the floor, library book in tow as he sat next to you.

"I know. But we're going to keep you safe until we figure out what's going on," Derek promised, setting the laptop up on a secure network so we could still watch Netflix, and not be bored out of our minds. A few episodes into a show Jack was watching and you were both asleep, curled up together on the couch.

✨✨✨

Aaron's POV

The amount of convincing it took for me to get Strauss to let me come home early basically sealed the deal on my transfer. She was going to make my life hell if I continued to work beneath her, and despite the respect I had for her and her position, she had a way of making my life harder than it had to be. I didn't really care where I ended up at this point, all I could focus on was getting home to Jack and Y/N.

It was bad, and the entire flight home, I knew it was only going to get worse. Y/N knew the house was bugged, but she didn't know about the cars being bugged, and Lea's criminal stalking record going back a mile long. Rossi and Spencer were working to find anything we could use to get a warrant, and in 6 long hours, I'd be landing in Virginia, ready to sort this mess out. I managed to get some sleep until we landed, feeling a lot better now that I had a fresh set of eyes. I'd be back in Quantico within the hour, and I didn't think Y/N even knew I was coming back yet, so I'd get to surprise them.

Keeping them safe was my number one priority. The entire situation gave me a bad feeling in my stomach; it was all too familiar. I prayed things didn't get out of hand to the point that I had to send her and Jack away from me. I was a nervous wreck, relieved to see Spencer waiting on me at the gate so he could deliver me to my office.

"Any news?"

"Jj has been keeping an eye on the apartment they shared but she hasn't been back. No motel check-ins under her driver's license, no plane tickets. Garcia is trying to find her now," he told me, making the drive short and sweet. Rossi put his finger to his lips as I walked past, shushing me before I could open the door. I crept inside, Jack asleep at Y/N's side, her arm pulling him in tight to her. She was awake as soon as I'd shut the door, eyes still bleary from sleep.

"You're home," she whispered, staying put so she didn't wake Jack. I kissed her softly, glad to finally be back on the same continent as her.

"I am, and after this, I won't be leaving anymore. We're gonna figure this out, and I'm walking away."

"Aaron," she warned, hand on my cheek as I sat on the edge of the couch next to her.

"I'm done having to leave my family and worry about them constantly. I've said it before, this is no way for you two to live. There's nothing you can say that will change my mind."

"If you're sure."

"I am. I'll grab you both something to eat, I'm gonna figure this out so we can go home."

I locked the door behind me, knowing she and I were the only ones with a key and made my way to the bullpen to see what the team had come up with so far.

"Lea Radcliffe, 29 years old. Degree in criminal studies, early criminal record. Shoplifting at 11, along with petty theft until her early twenties, that's when the stalking starts. Two restraining orders from two different women, all within 2 years," JJ explained, and you noticed no similarities in the two women before and Y/N now.

"Did the other two women live with Lea also?" Spencer asked, and JJ shook her head.

"Case notes say the first woman Lea met at school, and the second worked at a bar near campus," JJ said.

"So the university and the surrounding area is where Lea is meeting these women she's stalking. Does Y/N have a criminal justice background also? The first victim, Sara Thomas, was pre-law, and the second, Darla Louis was a police academy dropout. Lea has a type," Rossi observed, and I nodded.

"She has a criminal psychology degree."

"So that's the common factor. Easy enough to make a friend if you have similar school schedules and interests," JJ stated, looking over the corkboard for anything we might have missed.

"News, friends," Garcia announced, bouncing in with two different stacks of folders.

"Our girl Lea bought the cameras at a pawn shop the day she got back from Ohio and realized Y/N was gone. We also have her on Hotch's neighbor's security camera breaking in one night back in October. Is that enough for a warrant?" She asked, and we all nodded in agreement, gearing up to see what we could find in Lea's apartment that might tell us where she is while JJ got a judge on the phone.

"Garcia, keep digging on Lea, see if you can find any family nearby that could give us some insight on where she might be. Morgan and I will check the apartment, if there's something there that may lead us to Lea, we'll find it."

"There's something else, sir. Every month on the 15th, someone from Y/N's hometown wires 500 dollars into Lea's account. It's weird because Lea is from here. Y/N isn't."

"There's no way to trace the wire transfer?"

"No, sir, but if they stick to a schedule, whoever it is will be sending the money tonight."

"Good work, Garcia, see if you can find where she withdraws the money, her bank account statements for a withdrawal location, atm cameras, anything that'll give us a clue where she'll be tonight."

"Got it."

"Morgan, let's go. I'll check in on them before we leave." Before I could get far, Rossi was at my side.

"I'm going to stay behind, help Garcia. Keep my eye on them."

"You can help Reid with the geographic profile and find Emily while you're here," I suggested, knowing he would make sure Jack and Y/N stayed safe.

Emily hadn't been answering her cell, which worried me, but I had bigger problems to handle currently. Emily would be found.

When I peeked in this time, they were awake, watching tv on her laptop. Jack ran into my arms, hugging me tightly. Y/N joined him shortly after, her eyes rimmed red.

"I'm gonna grab some cash so I can get you guys to a hotel for the night," I told her, promising I'd be back after checking out Lea's place. I asked Reid to take them something to eat before I left, a tiny bit relieved that I could be home to figure this out myself.

"So who's the hometown fund?" Derek asked once we were alone in the car.

"Educated guess? Her mother."

"She not get along with her family?"

I shook my head, offering no further explanation. I prayed her past could stay a secret throughout this ordeal because she'd be devastated for everyone close to her to find out about her skeletons.

"There's someone snooping outside," he told me, gun up, telling whoever it was to get their hands on the ground. It was a young guy, no more than 18 if I had to guess.

"Don't shoot! Please! I'm not even sure I'm in the right place," he pleaded, voice with a similar tone to it.

I paused in my tracks. Surely it wasn't...

"I'm just looking for my sister," he told Derek, who still hadn't put the pieces together.

"Derek, let him up. That's Y/N's little brother."

"Wait, is she in trouble? Are you guys cops?"

Derek helped him to his feet and the resemblance made my blood run cold. They had strikingly similar features, his were just more sharp and masculine as opposed to her soft features.

Derek and I flashed him our credentials, explaining the situation as best we could without giving him too much information.

"Ironic that you're just now looking for her after all this has started," Derek mentioned, and he hung his head.

"I didn't exactly get to choose when our brother died, but she deserves to know, and she deserved to find out in person. Lea was the only one who knew where she was. I talked to Lea yesterday, she told me Y/N was still living here."

"How often do you talk to Lea?"

"I don't. She got ahold of me, told me Y/N wasn't handling the news well. I wasn't sure how she knew, considering I hadn't told anyone yet, so I got suspicious. It only happened two days ago," he told us.

"Sounds like our stalker has graduated to murder." Derek huffed, on the phone to tell the others the news.

"What does he mean, stalker? Is my sister okay?" He asked again, and I pulled him to the porch and away from Derek so I could talk to him privately.

"Your sister is okay. She's safe. But Lea is dangerous, and if you know where she is, your sister's life could depend on it."

"She mentioned she'd be out of town and we could join her if we felt like it. I have the address here," he showed me his phone, showing the address for somewhere I'd definitely been before because it was Rossi's cabin.

"Send Reid and Rossi," I told Morgan, finally asking Y/N's brother for his name.

"Thomas Bennett Y/L/N. I go by Ben though."

"When was the last time you saw your sister?"

He shrugged, head down as he tried to remember.

"A year and a half ago, right after I turned 18. She brought some money and said she was moving. Took us to our grandma's and that was the last time we saw her. She couldn't stop crying. She just said that she was sorry over and over. But she didn't do anything wrong. We know she had to have a life too," he told me, and my heart broke for both of them.

And now he was here to tell her their brother was dead.

"What happened to your brother?" I questioned, and he shrugged again.

"He left for school and we found him an hour later in the creek bed. They said he fell in and hit his head on a rock."

"We gotta go, Hotch. Lea's car was spotted two minutes ago gassing up and heading towards Rossi's place." Morgan announced, and I was dragging Ben along with us, instructing him to put his head down and stay down.

Sure enough, in plain sight, we found her at the gas station, Rossi already putting her into the back of a patrol car. It seemed almost too easy, especially considering she'd been silent for months, and now all of a sudden was coming around. After finding the cameras in the house and car, I was more ready to move than ever. I wasn't sure I'd ever feel safe leaving them in that house again.

I let Rossi and Reid handle the questioning while we took Ben to see his sister.

I was mentally preparing for what was to come. She raised these children like her own, took care of them. I feared she'd take this loss just like a mother would losing her own child.

"I think you should be the one to tell her. She doesn't want to see me," Ben told me, and I shook my head.

"That isn't true. She just knows that your mother knows your every move, and she's trying to keep herself safe."

He followed me to my office, where I went in to get Jack so I could give the two of them some privacy.

"Lea's with local PD for questioning. Rossi and Reid are there," I told her, realizing Jack was asleep in her arms yet again. I scooped him up, moving him to the opposite end of the couch.

"Baby," I said softly, pulling her up and into my arms. I just wanted to hold her and shelter her from every bad thing happening.

"What's wrong, Aaron?" She saw straight through me, eyes wide with fear.

"Ben's here. We found him looking for you outside of Lea's."

She just stared at me.

"He's here, right now?"

I nodded, leading her to the hall to see him. It was hard to judge her reaction at first, but the overwhelming relief that washed over her face was obvious as she pulled him in for a hug.

"I told you not to come looking for me," she cried, her embrace only tightening further when she felt his body heave with a heavy sob. It was heartbreaking to watch.

"I had to. Beau is dead, Y/N." He whispered, barely audible over the noise of the office, and all I could do was stand idle as the bomb dropped.

✨✨✨

You know how when you go from normal temperatures to extreme cold, and the way it sucks the air completely from your lungs? That's how you felt, the air being drained from your body as you fully absorbed what Ben was saying.

The sweet boy you taught to read, write...taught everything he knew, he was gone.

You kept thinking, this has got to be as close to death as you can get without dying.

This has got to be a fucked up fever dream. Maybe you're still asleep on the couch with Jack. Maybe, just maybe, this isn't real.

But Aaron's arms pulling you into Rossi's office before you could crumble into the floor was the only reminder you needed that this was indeed real life.

Beau was gone, and you didn't even know what his face looked like as a 17-year-old boy. He'd been 15 when you last saw him, stuck in between phases of his body as he became a man.

Now he'd never be a man. He'd be perpetually 17, reduced to a wooden box before he even had a chance to experience living.

You couldn't breathe, your chest was on fire, and you were keenly aware of Ben and Aaron talking around you, but it was muffled as your ears rung continuously. How could they be talking right now? How could the world still be turning when you hurt like this? You were suddenly furious with the world's inability to stop moving, surely if everything was just quiet and still for a moment, you could gather yourself enough to make sense of things.

But this would never make sense to you, no matter what you did to silence the world. How long had you been gasping for air, struggling to focus your eyes on anything but the floor? Even that was blurry as your eyes stung with tears that didn't seem to have an end.

Aaron was in front of you, begging you to breathe. You didn't realize you weren't. You tried to slow the rapid thump of your heart, but it quite literally felt like it was breaking inside of your chest. You never knew loving and raising someone could hurt so much.

"Baby?" You tried to meet his gaze and failed, only catching a glimpse of him here and there through your tear-coated lashes.

"I'm okay," you don't know how you formed the words, but you were breathing, and that was a plus.

"I have a room at The Claremont, I'm not leaving until tomorrow. Make sure she finds me before then," Ben told Aaron, typing his number into Aaron's phone.

"Y/N? I love you," Ben said softly, and you gripped his arm in response. You loved him more than any words you could have said at that point.

"I love you." You choked anyway, terrified that something would happen between now and tomorrow, and you'd regret not actually saying it out loud.

Aaron was checking on Jack, leaving you alone in Rossi's office. You didn't realize she was even in the office today until she was at your side.

"I'm so sorry," Emily whispered against your hair, wrapping you in a tight hug. You were thankful for the contact in Aaron's absence, but honestly, you wanted to disappear into the floor. You weren't sure when and if you'd recover.

"Hotch is taking you and Jack to a hotel up the street for the night. Just... take it easy. Let him help you," she encouraged, and you nodded, only half-listening.

"Okay."

"Can you walk with me?"

You nodded, following Emily to Aaron's car, letting her help you into the passenger's seat. Jack was nestled in the back, sitting quietly. He had been quiet most of the day, and you assumed it was just because he was tired.

"Y/N?" He squeaked, causing you to turn and look at him from your spot in the front.

"Yes, buddy?"

"I love you."

There was nothing quite like the love of a child, especially one that you had no part in creating.

"I love you, sweet boy."

And that was it. He continued sitting patiently as his dad drove us down the street, not even realizing that he and his dad were the greatest things to happen to you in your life. You made a mental note to hold him a little tighter at bedtime, and every other time that he'd let you.

"I'm gonna check us in, I'll be back for you in a second," Aaron told you, leaving the engine running as he ran inside the hotel.

"Can I come to sit with you?" Jack was already unbuckling his seatbelt, something his father strongly disliked him doing, but you couldn't respond quick enough, he was already crossing the armrest and climbing into your lap. He laid his head on your shoulder, your cheek against the smooth skin of his forehead.

"I like it when you hold me. It reminds me of my mommy," he whispered, and you kissed his head softly.

"I know your mommy was the best mommy, but I hope you know I'll always be here for you, just like a mom would," you promised him and he looked up at you with those big, beautiful Hotchner eyes.

" My mommy would like that," he whispered, and you knew in your heart that Haley definitely would like that.

Aaron was joining you after a few more minutes, shooting you a loving look before grabbing Jack from you so he could carry him inside. He led you to a side entrance, the three of you taking a service elevator to the 4th floor. Once you were in the room, you realized it had a kitchenette and a living room.

"This may be home for a while," he said, settling Jack in the smaller room with the television. You quickly found the bag JJ had packed for him with your stuff, finding pajamas and his favorite Chewbacca stuffed animal. You'd asked Derek to make sure JJ grabbed it when she packed up. You took them to the room he was in, earning a hug from him in response. You left him to change, joining Aaron on the sofa.

"Thank you. For coming home." You told him, his arms wrapping around you from behind as you leaned into him.

"I would have come sooner, but Strauss gave me hell. I'm sorry I had to leave in the first place."

"You don't have to apologize to me for doing your job," you reminded him.

"I will apologize for not being here during something scary. Lea has been watching us for a long time. That's unsettling enough, not to mention everything else. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now, and I hate the fact that I'd still be overseas right now if not for Lea getting involved. You'd be dealing with this alone, and I never want that for you."

You leaned back to kiss him, unsure of what to say. Part of you would never forgive yourself if he left his job. He loved his work. He was a hero, to Jack, to you. To everyone. You hated the thought of that being taken from him.

"I don't want you to regret leaving the BAU, and I especially don't want you to resent me for it," you confessed, causing him to sit up abruptly.

"This is my decision to make. I'm stepping down as Unit Chief, and that's all there is to it. I'll teach a profiling course at the academy, or work from the office. I can't keep missing my son's life. And I can't start a life with you if I'm not around. I'd never resent you for a decision that I'm making alone."

He seemed angry, and that's the last thing you wanted.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want you unhappy," you explained, and he sighed, running his hands through his hair before loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt, removing it.

"Then let me do this. I've missed enough."

You had told him you'd always support him in his career. You weren't about to stop now, especially if it meant having him around more. You just prayed he didn't regret it.

"I can't believe Beau is gone."

You didn't have any more tears to cry, so you opted to check on Jack, who was watching tv peacefully, oblivious to the horrors around him. You planned to keep it that way. He wanted you to see the show he was watching, something about a boy with superpowers. You had sat down on the bed when you heard the shower running, so you left Aaron alone, climbing into the bed with Jack to watch television.

"My daddy told me he loves you," he said randomly, eyes still trained on the tv.

"I love you both," you said simply, knowing Aaron had told him when we came home from the cabin that you were going to be together. He hadn't minded at all, if anything, he took it as an invitation to get closer to you. You loved every second of it, especially at times like this. He was a massive comfort, and you were always grateful to spend time with him. He was a human heater, just like his dad, causing you to get too cozy every time you cuddled up to him because you were asleep in no time.

✨✨✨

Aaron's POV

I came out of the shower and found them asleep for the third time all day. Jack knew something was wrong, and he had clung to her side since. She hadn't told him anything that was going on, but he could sense her sadness, and my sweet son wanted to be as close to her as he could get.

I didn't realize until I found them, her asleep next to him like she'd been doing it all her life how much Jack needed someone like her in his life. Losing Haley had been devastating for both of us, to the point I thought I may not recover. Sure, Jack had Jessica, but despite being Haley's sister, she lacked a certain motherly aspect that was necessary for Jack to have around.

Jack was so much happier with her around. He'd learned so much from her, from all the things they did in the kitchen and teaching him to read, she'd done it all gladly, every minute of it enjoyable to her.

She was like our personal ray of sunshine.

But it was obvious she was hurting, and I wasn't sure how to help her. I decided to let her sleep, leaving her with Jack as I crept into the living room area to call Rossi for any updates.

"She still isn't talking. But we know Y/N's mother is the one sending Lea the money. She's called Lea's phone nonstop since we've been questioning her."

"I'll see what Y/N is willing to tell me about her when she wakes up. We have 70 hours to hold her, let her sit until morning. I'm going to sleep with my family without having to worry about Lea roaming around," I told him, instinctively looking towards the room where they slept soundly.

"I don't blame you one bit. Call me if you need me. I'll be around."

The bed was entirely too small for the three of us, and I wasn't risking waking them up to move them to the bigger bed. So, I sat next to the bed, sleep creeping in quicker than I could get comfortable.

✨✨✨

Derek had taken Jack to school the following morning, Y/N didn't budge the first time all night long. I wasn't entirely sure what I should do, so I called Prentiss, hoping she'd be able to give me some help.

"How's she doing?" She didn't greet me, just expressed concern for her friend.

"I don't know. She's slept since we got here. I... I'm not sure I know what to do to help her," I confessed, sighing at the thought of hearing myself say it out loud. How in the world could I marry her if I didn't even know how to help her?

"She just needs time, Hotch. She raised Beau like her own child. You didn't see those boys when Y/N was a kid. They followed her everywhere. She was 11 years old putting Beau in a baby carrier every morning to take him places with her. That was her baby. What could anyone do for you if you lost Jack?"

"Nothing. I'd be inconsolable."

"Exactly. She needs time. Just make sure she knows you're there for her. That'll mean more to her than anything."

"I think I'll have Garcia come sit with her today. Keep her company."

"Hotch? She'd kill me if I told you this, but our periods are in sync. Could be why she's so tired."

"She quit her birth control over a month ago so-"

"She what?"

"Day after Christmas."

Silence. I wasn't sure why, but Emily seemed to be uncomfortable.

"Do you have any idea how screwed up her hormones probably are right now? She's been on the pill for years. Jesus, she's probably an absolute wreck. If it's okay with you, I'll come to sit with her for the day."

"I think that's a good idea. You don't think-"

"That's absolutely what I'm thinking, Hotch."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. Fuck is right. What did you expect to happen when she came off birth control?"

We knew we wanted to try, but the thought of her being pregnant this very moment...

"How fast can you get here?"

"15 minutes. I'll stop by a pharmacy."

Fuck.

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