#yah i'm very upset about this whole thing

[eggdrawsthings]

this show would have been great if it was not for that shit ass death just to justify Osha falling to the Darkside. also why can't we have her eyes glow yellow we already have that sick ass fight and the crystal bleeding, might as well go all the way man 🤷

This post by @gffa and everyone in the tag really summed up every gripe I have for that finale. They made him go on and on about his guilt and regret and he needs to face the Council and then boom "I did the right thing" in the last ep like??? Who are you??? Why tf u suddenly care about the vergence rn??? wtf is this script???

We really don't deserve LJJ man he's too good for this. Once again "great premise, clunky execution". The short running time also runs the whole thing to the ground. Forever mourning my first Asian Jedi Master, they baited me good o(-(

Re the eyes: Ig they still wanna like she was enraged but not enough to have her eyes yellow?? Cus she still wanted to go back to face the Council? (ngl that part was also wtf for me but tbh I'm alr mentally checked out the moment Sol started acting occ lol). idk man but yah it would've been sick af visual-wise and made it even more horrifying w the bleeding crystal. We have all that sick ass fight scenes but at what cost haiya

also lucky Im too poor to buy Sol's saber cuz it's Osha's saber now, and seeing his crystal bled was so upsetting it made me sick. It's Jedi Survivor all over again for me jfc

[dragontamer05]

After watching all of S2 I gotta say I'm okay with this.

I like how they handled Hades.

For once it felt like something unique/more was at least done with the whole of him wanting not to have to stay in the underworld.

For one they actually include and remember Persephone- which I also love the idea that Demeter spread the lie/story of him "Kidnapping" Her daughter simply cause she was so upset and pissy and unable to accept that her daughter had fallen in love with Hades - and then ate food of the underworld so they could be together.

They actually acknowledge the fact that he can still technically leave the Underworld but it's only for very limited amounts of time as he's basically tied to the realm he rules

You also get the feeling that at first he was okay with it but you know those years day after day- especially alone before Persephone- and how that's gonna change a person (god)

Like honestly I get the feeling if he wasn't fully bound to the underworld and had more freedom to travel between them to be able to go above for more then a limited time he may not mind as much.

But also more then that they aren't just scape goating as making him the only villain/antagonist.

Yah he fucked up, he's done fucked up things. But so has Zeus, and Hera. So has Demeter

And you know Gaia is now rightfully pissed at them all ike "what the fuck kids"

Would I have prefered him to be a nicer guy or not have gone the route of "Wanting to be ruler of the gods / change his domain or something" Sure but the way they did handle it at the very least they tried to do it in like a more sympathetic light instead of strictly 'petty jealous villain' or something you know

Also I think it's cute they have kids and while they may not in Greek Myths I won't lie Persephone and Hades having kids is just a interesting aspect I'd love to see explore.

Like what if they did have kids would they be able to travel between? One stay and one go when Persephone goes up got some interesting stuff to think about you know.

[guardian5tiger3]

Messages from your pet(s)!

Tarot &intuitive messages :)

Piles:

1. 2. 3.

*not specific to just cats .

1.

Your pet is definitely enlightened in some way. They are a guardian angel of yours incarnated. They would prefer that you go to them for everything as a solace and they are offering you great peace with their company . They want you to leave all your problems behind when you spend time with them.

They do listen when you talk to them and tell you things.

Short but sweet. You are their whole life to them. They love you and couldn't be more content being able to be with you. They wish they could just tell you everything they know to guide you ha but it wasn't meant to be like that. And for any person that may have ever messed with you I'm feeling like a break up maybe for some , yeah this animal has a lot of opinions on people 😂you guys must be best friends and if you could talk to your pet you would think they're really funny.

Peace !

2.

I don't know if you can tell or not, but your animal has more energy than their body can contain. They love what they love and they love those things so much they could just flip tf out seriously. You are one of those things I think they like the way you talk to them. They also might get jealous if you interactive with any other living things unless you have another pet that they like them they might. Let it slide. I think they just really want to communicate that they want you to enjoy what they enjoy as much as they do with them. Holy mother of . ENERGY . This could literally all be internal too maybe your goldfish is just is that emotional I don't know. This animal basically just is having a good trip and sees things as all crazy good and cool and wonderful and enjoys life a lot. Very nice and lucky perspective. I also feel like if they sleep, they sleep GOOD. Just saying. I think we could all learn a thing or two from your animal friend. Damn. One thing they might get sick of the food they eat sometimes like the flavor or something. This animal does also care about you. Most of you this animal likes peanut butter some of you for your animal they do NOT like it so I don't know take that or leave it most of you could very well give your pet some human snacks. Give your homie a piece of your cheeseburger maybe. I don't know. Like a third of you this animal could actually be moody lol.

Well that's crazy. Bless. Peace and love.

3.

This pet has something to offer you. Maybe they thing you toys or dead mice I don't know..

When you're sad or feeling down this sweet angel wants to do something really bad to cheer you up cause they see you as... Everything... You are everything beautiful and perfect to this pet they think the whole world of you 😭you guys .........

Yah so they get stressed when you're upset in any way small or big because they feel the need to do something and they don't always know how to make it all better. They may also feel generally protective over you from say people walking by your house or whatever anyone that comes near you lol . They may also feel kind of couped up and want to have more open space... So that's for any of you that could take your pets outside I know for cats and ferrets and things there's harnesses you can get but from personal experience unless you have a dog do NOT just put say a cat or something on a leash and collar that will not be enough to keep them from running away from you.. also for a few of you you live with someone else " a bitch" yeah so your pet regardless of how good or bad this person is your pet does not like them and some of you have roommates specifically roommates your pet is cool with this is probably more like you live with someone who is iffy and you also know that about the person .

Also something about the TV . Maybe makes your pet anxious sometimes or something. But also enjoys chilling with you if you're watching a good movie or whatever you do in your free time so no big deal I don't think any of you need to completely throw away your whole TV. This pet also especially either like and or could use some treats . Ha . 💚

Good reading everyone. If I get personal questions about a pet I will be able to go way in depth about your buddy. I have helped people help their pets with medical issues before due to being an empath. So feel free to hit my asks or message me for any advice like that. 🐾💜

[carla-creates]

*cough, cough* Oh, this? Just, just a lil Mystrade snippet/WIP/preview thing I've whipped up to get in the groove of digital art again so I can finish a very VERY much overdo commission with some sense of knowing what I'm doing. UwU;;;

But yah, hullo! Sooo... I've been gone. 😰 Um... Mid February, I finally caught the pandemic plague (which I'm still very upset about, as I was/still do take precautions, and the person who passed it on was extremely careless 🥺), which took me out for over a month. Finally really feeling like myself again, so... Yeah. Here we are. :3

This Mystrade do be spicy, so only this snippet of the whole art for now. 💖

But yes! I do so hope you enjoy!

Hearts,

Carla 💜💜💜

[apuff]

he/she just use whatever you think is most genderfuck in any given situation

you can call me puff or apuff

i am a minor

i block liberally and dont really have a dni, but PLEASE do not follow me if you are a terf or post nsfw 🙏🙏🙏🙏 seriously

i post art and writing and some assorted shitposts, it's usually about mcr (my wife michael romance 😇😇😈) i do like other music and webcomics and videogames tho

@apuff-rb is my reblog blog

@apuff-comics comic blog

i tag for most common triggers, and i use just the word (eg, blood not tw blood), and usually tag both bright AND flashing things as "eyestrain"

please donate or reblog this fundraiser, verified here :

i have a few different tags for various things in my blog, like:

art (some old art of others' is on here, but it's mostly my art)

apuff's inane ramblings (inconsequential text posts)

mcr (My Chemical Romance is an American rock band from Newark, Ne)

dungeon meshi (you know what this is you're on tumblr)

miku (HATSUNE MIKUUUUU)

art save (things that are pretty, i'm trying to keep tutorials out of this now but i might forget)

save (like..general useful stuff, good websites, not very specific)

things i want to draw (self-explanatory, more for text posts that inspire me than images, which is "art save")

picrew (picrew chains. i reblog the picrew of people that i tag in these because otherwise i can't find them ever)

long post (posts that are long, this is mostly for blacklisting)

free palestine (self-explanatory)

remember this (desperate plea. i don't even know what i use this for)

art tutorials (TAG I JUST MADE UP NOW!!! i probably won't retroactively tag things as this)

-----

ok so for starters for trigger/blacklist tagging i'm using the format of just the thing in the tag, not "cw" or "tw" before or after it. for example, something with blood would just be "blood" not "tw blood."

for bright colors, i'm doing "eyestrain." i'm tagging things with flashing/strobing colors, lights, or light n darkness "flashing lights" if you're sensitive to that, please make sure you have it blocked since i can't cover the absolute myriad of the unstandardized tags for that specific thing on every reblog with it.

let me know if there's something i need to tag on a post, i forget a lot of stuff/autoreblog plus there's fears i don't know about and things

now palestine/gaza related posts are sort of a whole different beast in terms of tagging? i'm trying to put down "free palestine" on every post i reblog about the topic (cause you actually need to do that to get tags to trending) (plus overall blog sorting is good)

now obviously, the entire GENERAL CONCEPT of the current genocide is dark and upsetting, so know that i really can't tag every possible thing that could be upsetting. but, i'm trying to make a system of particularly upsetting things, especially pertaining to images & videos

ok so. for images/videos of children being actively harmed, as well as graphic text descriptions, i'm doing "child harm" this does not cover statistics of children killed or general comments on the fact

things like videos/images of gunfire, shooting and bombing, i'm doing "violence" like the other one this doesn't cover descriptions of those things happening.

"injuries" is self-explanatory- burns, bloody injuries, face trauma, etc, you get the drill (even blurred/pixely censored ones)

"dead body" is also self-explanatory, doesn't include body bags except if they have visible body part sticking out

tags that could mostly apply to anything (like "gun" or "blood") don't have any special tags, i just use the generic ones like i said above

still thinking of a tag for people being distressed about their situation/ their dead loved ones since things like "death"' are too vague and would cause overfiltering but i can't think of something accurate. if you have any suggestions, let me know.

[thecatchat]

Bill and Rue discover just how crazy Saponite and Karl are and they're from different dimensions. Cue is explaining to the two.

Start off tense in Cue's office. Getting drinks. "So... what are they?"They're... They... not from here." Starts off in the general explanation of other dimensions. Moves into an explanation of Saponite and Quarry, Saponite being a prince, some cultural differences, also oh yah he's fireproof. Rue is not okay about that. He's security. How is he supposed to fight that. Cue is cagy about giving out a direct weakness, but he eventually caves and explains the alcohol tolerance difference. Bill realizes why Saponite never takes offered drinks.

Bill asks about Karl, Rue nods and mentions how Karl seems really off, especially outside. Cue now has to explain that Karl kinda has... a thing about color? Specifically colored lenses, but he's not going to try and explain that because Karl barely understands it, and Cue understands less. But Karl is the one who takes them between different dimensions, called a Traveler. Loosely explain the colored smoke and how Karl, as far as Cue knows, doesn't really have a dimension he spends most of his time in. He's always traveling, always an outsider, always eager for a story. Then ... he can't not mention the whole "Karl may technically be immortal or something" because Rue would kill him if he tried to hide it. Then he has to explain "no no, if you told him you were going to kill him, he'd probably just nod and ask that it be interesting" or something like that.

"Should we know about any others?"

"..."

"Cue."

"So. Technically. Karl has a twin brother named Lark."

"Technically?"

"Technically, Lark's his reflection, but they decided on being brothers."

"..." "..." "..."

"So, I think that's enough explaining tonight. I'm going to go and talk with them downstairs. You both are welcome to join at any point if you want to talk to them yourself."

@inky-kaleidascope-dimensions I've been thinking about Cue, Bill, and Rue, specifically once Bill and Rue are brought into the dimensions fold. The outline could end there or have like a bonus end scene of Saponite telling the story of how they discovered just how strong of a "poison" Cue drank in Quarry and the alcohol tolerance difference between the two places. Just Saponite being all "I'm trying to be upset but also the situation is hilarious in high sight." Very tired mom energy.

Might write this, might not. What do you think? Any specific details you think should be brought up or any specific reactions Rue or Bill would have to any specific information?

[miserableyoplait]

cw // rant, forest fires

so there are over 300 wild fires and forest fires burning in bc right now.

earlier this summer, lytton, a small low-income community in interior bc, was completely wiped out by a forest fire, save a few buildings and two gas stations. now, the mckay creek fire, which has been burning since the end of june, has the nearby (also small, low-income) community of lillooet on evacuation alert, as is the surrounding area.

recently, monty lake, another small community, was also wiped out by a forest fire that was raging towards vernon a week ago (i haven't followed up further yet).

so, with the monty lake fire booking it towards vernon, a whole load of firefighting resources have been stationed there to stop it. like literally the majority of the resources.

which leaves lillooet with 8 firefighters, 2 helicopters, and 9 heavy equipment/machinery or something. and so like okay, i get trying to stop vernon from being burnt down. but also it PISSES ME OFF that they're giving lillooet barely anything. places like lillooet and lytton can't afford to rebuild from the devastation of a forest fire, and most people living in those communities can't afford to rebuild from LOSING EVERYTHING.

A WEEK AGO, the mckay creek fire, which had been raging and blazing out west pavilion, doing its best to spoil the livelihoods of all the ranchers living out there, was considerably smaller and smoldering in pockets a few ridges from where my mum grew up, out past the xwisten reserve. A WEEK AGO, the fire was relatively small. A WEEK AGO, the fire could have been put out and dealt with, if lillooet had the resources. NOW, lillooet is on evacuation alert when this could have been avoided.

what also PISSES ME OF is that, years ago, bc SOLD all of their water bomber planes to california!! they could have rented them, or leased them, or, hell, even just loaned them. but NOOOO they had to SELL ALL OF THEM. water bombers are a massive resource to have in preventing forest fires. the mckay creek fire could be OUT if we had water bombers. helicopters are nowhere near as effective as water bombers.

helicopters carrying water look like this:

[ID: a somewhat vague digital sketch in purple of a helicopter flying and carrying a small bucket of water on a long rope. End ID.]

that amount of water is nothing. yes, it's probably somewhat effective ish. but these little helicopters have to fly alllll the way into town to actually access the river to get water and then they have to fly alllll the way back out to drop their dinky little bucket of water on something. and the cycle repeats.

to be clear, i'm not saying any of this to criticize the firefighters themselves, who are working hard to combat the fire raging all over bc and protect communities from being burnt down. and i'm not trying to say bc shouldn't have come to california's aid when they were on fire. i'm saying this to let it all out and maybe kind of criticize whoever the fuck decides resource allocation.

i care a lot about lillooet; i have friends and family there, and i've spent a lot of time there in my life. and tbh, i can't help but feel like lillooet is getting less resources partially because whoever is in charge would rather save a city than a tiny community in interior bc. and okay, there's WAY more people in vernon than lillooet with its population of like 3000, including surrounding area. but seriously, just because there are less people in lillooet doesn't mean that it's any less worth protecting!! if lillooet burns down, thousands of lives will still be ruined, and they won't have the finances to come back from it.

it will be fucking devastating.

fuck the government for selling all our water bombers. they were not looking out for us or thinking of the future when they did that. thank you for condemning us to burn. i'll see you in hell.

[burningupp]

written under the cut!

eighteen: stupid

<<< masterlist >>>

Taglist (open):

@missmadwoman @jovialdelusionbouquet @sopebubbles @sugarcayls @a-noona-mous @emmmui @chimchiekookie @renhold-nightspear @halesandy @gracefulevijlsoul @ephyra1230 @leahknox @somelazysundays @r4yih @jikooksgirl19 @orxphicz3phyrs @secretlycrazyhummingbird @taeshuworld @hannahdinse8 @mybabywearschanel @lovelytaes-blog @salty-for-suga @lyra0cassiopeia @theestrangeddreamer @xianav @gingerspicetalks @unicornbabylover

Immediately after you send the text, you hear the telltale sound of a FaceTime-call breaking through the silence of your apartment. It makes you smile, and shift to sit more upright on the couch - Jimin may be a friend, one of the best ones you've ever had if you're honest, but you don't find the thought of exposing him to your double chin while you lay down particularly enticing.

Since Jimin (and Taehyung, but you try not to let your thoughts linger on him too much) left, talking to the cheerful man had become like habit. He always texted you good morning, asked how your day was when you got home, and wished you sweet dreams before sleeping. Unlike Rosie, he actually took his time to listen and hear you out just as you did the same for him.

No shade to your long-time best friend, but she wasn't particularly attentive to others; an unfortunate trait she had always carried with her.

As soon as you pressed the green button on your screen, Jimin's smiling face made an appearance. The sight of him pulled a smile onto your features, one you couldn't have fought off if you wanted to - the man knew how to cheer someone up.

Jimin seemed to be in a living room of some sort, something that you found rather surprising. The other times the two of you had FaceTimed, he made it a point to provide the both of you with the privacy of his room, door shut tight. You didn't mind much, but the unfamiliar background intrigued you.

"Y/n!" Jimin exclaimed, that large smile never leaving his features.

"Hi Jimin," you smiled back.

Though your greeting may not have been quite as enthusiastic, you were in fact very happy to see your friend. Your days were spent in a kindergarten, after all, and as much as you adored the kids you cared for, they weren't very good conversationalists just yet. Besides, aside from Rosie, you didn't have many friends, definitely none you considered close, in any case. Jimin's presence in your life, in short, was a welcome one.

"How you holding up?" the smiling man asked, gaze softening.

"I told you I'm alright, Min," you chuckled, glaring at him playfully. "I'm not a child."

"I know, but I care about you, love," he answered, pouting a little. It made you giggle at him.

As bothered as you were because of the whole Taehyung-situation, you figured it was no use dwelling too much on it; if he was upset, you didn't know why, and if he expected an apology, he would have to man up and ask for one. You felt guilty, of course you did – it was in your nature to do your best to always keep all your relationships amicable. Still, there wasn’t much you could do if you didn’t even know what to apologize for.

“I know, thank you for your concern,” you told him, smiling sweetly.

“No problem,” the man grinned back, and you briefly reflected on his ability to shift emotions with such speed. “Anyway, I’m sorry for saying those things about Rosie, that was not very cool of me.”

You bristled a little at that, not even having thought much about his less than kind words towards your best friend. Honestly, they were kind of true – Rosie really shouldn’t have gone through your phone without your permission, and definitely shouldn’t have taken Taehyung’s number without yours (or his) permission at all. However, you were very much used to her antics, and therefore tended to gloss over things like this.

“Ah no, it’s okay,” you told your friend, waving him off. “She can be a bit much at times… it does feel a little bit weird when you don’t know her, I suppose.”

Jimin hummed a little, a crease appearing between his brows. He didn’t want to tell you, but he thought Rosie was a horrible influence on you; he thought you deserved much better friends in general, if he was honest. He had heard about her from you, and while you tended to sugarcoat most things in life, the things he heard were still a bit appalling despite it. On top of that, he had seen the way Rosie acted around Taehyung, and the fact that she was manipulating him understandably didn’t sit well with him at all.

“I guess that might be true,” he agreed, not wanting to make you uncomfortable with his opinions on the matter. “Aside from… that whole situation, how are you doing?”

This question caused you some distress. Your gaze fell upon your coffee table, littered with mountainous piles of papers and books, your laptop open in the middle, glaring its bright white light at you. You bit your lip, stress swelling in your chest and threatening to consume you. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath – nothing good would come from stressing about the situation.

“Y/n?” Jimin asked after a few seconds of silence.

Your eyes were burning with the effort of keeping your tears at bay, but you still answered the man as calmly as you could.

“I’m okay. A bit stressed, is all,” you said, tacking on a chuckle at the end as to not clue the man in on your severe distress.

“How come?”

“This one teacher… She was pregnant. Keyword ‘was’. She was in her 36th week when she went into labor, meaning she still had lessons to plan all the way until summer, and she had two weeks left  until her maternity leave. Now we have to plan all her lessons quickly, because we have to bring in a substitute and it’s just—” you stopped yourself, taking another deep breath before you hurled all over your fairly new couch. “It’s just a lot.”

Jimin frowned at you through the screen. He could definitely see the dark circles under your eyes, and the mess your hair was due to the incessant pulling. He could see a coffee stain on your sweatshirt, too, and when you covered your face with your hands, your bitten-down nails also became apparent. He really felt for his friend, and wished he could relieve your stress somehow.

Just as he was about to suggest taking a break or a vacation or something, you saw another man walk up behind him. Despite looking the band up online (purely to be able to keep up with Jimin’s stories about his life), you could not place who the unfamiliar man was at first. He had broad shoulders, was reasonably tall, and had brown, messy hair. From the looks of it, the man was about to walk straight past Jimin, before he stopped dead.

“Hey, who are you talking to?”

The man padded up behind your friend, leaning in to see the phone screen. Jimin jumped as soon as he heard his friend speak up, clutching his chest and glaring at the man.

“Yah hyung, you scared me,” he whined, and you giggled, your stress momentarily forgotten.

“Oh, is that Y/n?”

Now that the unfamiliar man was so close, you could identify him as Seokjin, the oldest member of the band. You smiled bashfully and waved a little. “Hi.”

You had never talked to Seokjin before, but he gave off a very friendly aura, even through your phone screen. He smiled back at you, and waved a little too.

“Nice to finally see your face,” he grinned, and your eyes widened. “Taehyung talked a lot about you.”

At the mention of your childhood friend’s name, you froze. Jimin was very good at avoiding mentioning his name, but of course, Seokjin wouldn’t know that the two of you were… not on the best terms at the moment. So, you swallowed down the sudden melancholy that washed over you, and tried your best to smile. It sort of worked.

“Ah, well that’s nice of him. Seokjin, right?” you settled for asking, not wishing to dwell on Taehyung for too long.

“Call me Jin,” the man told you kindly before turning to Jimin. “Our car is here to take us to practice.”

Your sweet friend groaned loudly, pouting at the camera. “I guess I have to go,” he said grumpily.

“I guess you do,” you giggled as Jimin stood up from the couch. “Don’t work too hard and take plenty of breaks, okay? You too Jin!”

You saw Jin pause at your words, turning to grin at the phone once more. “You really are a sweetheart, you know that?”

His words made you blush, because you weren’t very used to compliments, but you appreciated them nonetheless. Jimin was quick to agree with his hyung, reiterating how sweet and kind you were, and your face flamed even hotter.

“Yah, let’s go!” you heard a shout from the background.

“Alright, now I really have to go,” muttered Jimin, smiling softly at you. “Please don’t overwork yourself. You won’t be any good to those kids if you’re burnt out, you know.”

You returned his smile easily. “I will do my best. Now go before someone bursts a blood vessel!”

Jimin giggled before saying a quick goodbye, followed by a shouted one from Jin. Before the screen went dark, though, you saw a man with curly hair walking out the door.

You hated the way your heart sped up at the sight of him.

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

              ~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC 

Rating 18 +

Angst. 

Implied Infidelity in the past. 

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time. 

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her. 

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles. 

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms. 

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face. 

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance. 

Us. 

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

 I was the one getting a  divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us )  and he had been the most kind man . 

I swallowed. 

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine.  It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over? 

 The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, "  I’m sorry,  Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

 But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again. 

So we had done the wise thing. 

At first a break.

 A few days apart to get our head on straight.  Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we  were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other. 

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation. 

People with children  didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.  

But, none of it mattered now. 

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real. 

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

 Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband. 

He would be  my ex -husband. 

i hated that word. 

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

 Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered,  angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world. 

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer.  It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery. 

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior. 

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel. 

 I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

? 

It had been sheer luck that we had met.... 

In fact, if Jimin's  car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung  just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it. 

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight. 

 I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either . 

And I had fallen in love with that version of him. 

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him. 

 That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years.  So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order. 

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating. 

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. " 

 Whatever it was. 

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection  reduced to a phrase like that. 

What a pity. 

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably. 

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.” 

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly. 

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did  love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t. 

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung. 

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives. 

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.” 

And that had stuck with me. 

Walk out the first time. 

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time. 

 And so I had. 

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself.  “ I shouted. 

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down. 

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending. 

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight.  I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible. 

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes. 

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in . 

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative. 

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us  why.  

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue. 

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life. 

It wasn’t easy. 

From him,  it had been nothing but a mess of   heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give. 

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering. 

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare.  I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least  once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy. 

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning. 

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves. 

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this. 

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him. 

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him. 

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. . 

Of course, the customary hug. 

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine? 

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face. 

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

 Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together. 

No, that wasn’t it. 

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them. 

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized.  “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him. 

“Okay .” I said casually. 

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged. 

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

 It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased. 

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight  into my heart. 

That stupid nickname. 

God I couldn’t bear it. 

Swallowing i looked away. 

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later. 

I nodded curtly. 

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” He whispered gently. 

I groaned. 

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered. 

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “ 

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him. 

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted. 

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he  had  used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw. 

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me. 

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “ 

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently. 

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us. 

“Shall we begin?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride. 

[koganegawasimp]

May I request some haikyuu boys with a tall fem s/o. like it can be taller than them or just above average for a female. I'm Above avarage if a female. I'm 5'6 and I get bullied constantly for being to tall. so yah I was wondering if I could request that.

Of course! This is a little bit self indulgent bc I’m also 5’6” lmao I hope you enjoy!

Haikyuu boys with a tall!S/O

First of all, I made a list of the boys who I think would absolutely love to have a tall S/O the most, and I tried to include a few from each of the main teams: Tanaka, NISHINOYA, Ennoshita, Kindaichi, KYOUTANI, Mattsun, BOKUTO, Akaashi, Kenma, Kuroo, LEV, Shibayama, KOMORI, Sakusa, Ushijima, Tendou, SEMI, GOSHIKI, Aone

Nishinoya Yuu

I think he would absolutely love to date someone taller than him

He is SUCH a simp for you oh my god

He would like to be picked up and carried around to “make him feel tall”

At first he’s a little bummed since you won’t be able to wear any of his clothes

But then he realizes that your whole wardrobe is free real estate dbsdhdhf

He LOVES borrowing your shirts and hoodies and sweaters even though he’s basically swimming in them bc they smell like you and make him feel safe 🥺🥺

He will also climb random shit to reach your face and kiss you bdbsfbbsf

Kyoutani Kentaro

He thinks you’re so cool!

He really doesn’t give a shit about his partner’s height but he would love having an S/O on the taller side

If anyone tried to bother you about your height he would actually fight them

He’s also really sweet with you and makes sure that you know that he loves your height so much

His whole team teases him about how soft he is for you

He also likes to hug you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder

Bokuto Koutaro

SIMP

I think he also doesn’t really care about the height or body type of his S/O

But I also think that he thinks tall people are gorgeous

He will be praising you CONSTANTLY he is SO LOUD

If you’re ever insecure about your height he will get so sad, he wants you to love yourself just as much as he loves you!

He thinks that your height makes you look so elegant and strong

And since you’re closer to his height, he likes it when you cuddle and spoon him (he just loves being held in general)

Lev Haiba

Tall boy!!!

He’s so used to being taller than everyone and towering over them, so the second he sees someone closer to his height he goes all :0

He appreciates that you’re tall bc he’s incredibly physically affectionate and he thinks it’s so cool that neither of you are too uncomfortable holding hands while walking

When he finds out you’re getting bullied for your height, he just??? Doesn’t get it at first????

To him, height has always been a good thing, and he thinks that your height suits you really well and he thinks you look incredible

But he knows that you’re sad, and that makes him sad, so he does his best to comfort you

Anyway he loves you so much!!! He thinks that you’re always stunning and he LOVES that you’re tall!!!!!

Komori Motoya

I think that everyone should appreciate Komori a whole lot more bc he’s just so encouraging and supportive!

He’s always been super impressed by you, and even before you were dating he was always praising you and telling you how awesome he thinks you are

He’s also incredibly perceptive and socially intelligent

So he can always tell when you’re getting down on yourself, or when people are making you feel insecure

It’s almost impossible to stay sad or upset when you’ve got Komori holding you close and telling you every single thing he loves about you

He also has some strong words with the people who’ve been bothering you

Semi Eita

Power couple power couple power couple

So many people are lowkey intimidated by you two, since you’re both tall and Semi has massive resting bitch face

Yeah you guys are THAT couple that everyone is a little bit jealous of

He just seems like the type of guy who would REALLY like to have a tall S/O

He thinks that tall people just seem so powerful and stunning

The second he finds out that people are giving you shit for your height he absolutely loses it and goes to find them

And nobody ever bothers you again 😌😌

Goshiki Tsutomu

He makes it very clear from the very beginning that he admires you

From the very first time he sees you he’s all blushy bc you’re just so gorgeous!!!

Even once you’re dating, he can’t talk to you without getting nervous for at least a month

He also talks to his team about you all the time!

He’ll just be in the middle of practice and he’ll get all dreamy eyed and start rambling about how amazing you looked in the new outfit you got

And his team has to snap him out of it

But anyway he just loves you so much and wants everyone to know about it

He gets so sad when he finds out that you’re insecure about your height and he just starts showering you in compliments

[arangiajoan]

Okay, I'll go with the most likely to the least likely to happen. Same warning for negativity as before - I really don't want to upset anyone💜

1- Extremely likely:

A few of the conflicts will be dropped and resolved in a very underwhelming manner.

Like, for an example: Kieran suddenly is able to convince his people to accept Cristina and Mark out of nowhere, so the Kieraktina drama is dropped.

Maybe Janus dies in the first book (probably killed by Jace in some sort of 'glorious fight' or something), and so does the Seelie Queen. Ash accepts being the Seelie King with a bit of drama, but that can be dropped and forgotten quickly enough.

Thule! Livvy might as well just not be mentioned, like any other Thule characters.

Kit learns how to use his powers and gets rid of anyone who tries to kill him. Ty 'realizes his mistakes' or something like that and gets rid of Ghost! Livvy with the help of Kit, Dru, a warlock and some random secret book. (I say 'realizes his mistakes' between quotation marks because I don't think necromancy is that big of a deal. Ty did nothing wrong 2k21). All that by book two.

Then book three can be just them fighting the Big Villain™, getting Idris back from the Cohort in a battle, and fixing all the other loose ends.

2- Not likely at all, but it could be cool:

Let's just ignore all the conflicts✨

Like, the reason why Ghost! Livy is such an issue is because everyone tells us that necromancy is wrong. (which is NOT. Ty did nothing wrong 2k21.) But if Ty just says 'Yah no I don't wanna get rid of her. She's my twin sister. Fight me.' then… well, then that's on that. No conflict lol. Maybe Livvy will still turn evil, but Ty would be just sitting on a beach chair, cracking an iced tea and going 'wow it's kinda cloudy today huh.'

We might as well just forget about the Cohort. Yeah sure maybe they're planning something lol who cares. They locked themselves in Idris, just leave them there. Shadowhunters are all assholes, let's just ignore all our problems💖

Janus and Ash wanna kill Jace? Yeah kajsksjks that's fun. Oh, and now you wanna say that Dru can't date Ash because he's a murderer? What are you? Catholic? (And frankly it would be so funny if Janus actually succeeded. Like. He kills Jace. And pretends to be him. And Clary eventually does notice that she's not dating the Jace she has always known, but… well, he's there, and he looks like Jace, and who is she to judge him? People can change. Let's just keep going with our lives.)

Mark and Cristina can't be with Kieran? Why? Because the unseelie kingdom says it's wrong? Just kill everyone that dares to say anything against them💕

And then suddenly all of the main characters are villains and nothing matters anymore and TWP ends in utter apathy.

It could be fun, right? Just think about it.

3- This is NOT happening at all. Not in a million years.

Maybe all the main characters just die in the beginning. Like, maybe CC could pull a Memórias Póstumas de Brás Cubas (that's a brazilian classic. I'm not sure if you know it?? I also don't know the title in English ajsjsjj) on us and the book already starts with all of them dead. The actual plot would be them explaining how they died. That would ease a lot of the conflicts, because none of the characters need to outsmart the enemy. They just die.

The Cohort's plans work, Janus kills all the TMI gang, Ghost! Livvy goes berserk and kills everyone, Thule characters arrive in this dimension and say 'nah lol ours was better' and they leave again. Simple as that.

I think that's all?? Ah, and also: do you remember that post that Adrishya made talking about a Sherlock AU for TWP? That's certainly something to think about. Just dropping the entire Shadowhunters universe and doing an AU. That could work.

I might have some other stuff written in other lists kajsksjs If I find them I'll send it to you

omg you wrote this all out youre a hero thank you I love this

I agree with you that probably not all of the problems are gonna be solved or as you said in a very underwhelming way, I mean if CCs really gonna try to squeeze it all in three books then I don‘t think theres a really good solution for every problem and some things just probably... don‘t really get resolved and just have a loose end

Though with the whole thule thing I think CC did say somewhere that we will get to know thule!kit in twp (could be wrong though hehe) so I think its pretty safe to say thule will play a big role in twp

„Ty did nothing wrong 2k21“ YES whejdk I love that

and AHSJDJ I LOVE TY IN HIS BEACH CHAIR LMAO

ohh and with the they all die at the end thing yess I think that would be so interesting and intriguing tbh(no I don‘t know the book gshdh but it sounds really interesting!!)

also Ik that will never happen but. dru x thaís. please its perfect

YES I remember it (this one) and ahsjs I‘d honestly love that lol

I‘m very interested in this other stuff👀 though no pressure hehe

[exobyharu]

PCY - One Shot

Image source to follow. I just Googled it like this

“You just freaking downgraded me!”

Summary: PCY knows that he’s being a five -year-old for treating you like a guy. But what’s a man to do when the girl he likes is taken? Here’s a friendly little back and forth with PCY a few days after you break up with your boyfriend.

⏰10:01 AM

🌏A deserted mall parking lot, but only because it’s not open yet

🌞The kind of sunny that makes PCY squint.

👥YN, Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun (mentioned), YBN (your ex-boyfriend) (mentioned)

Notes: It’s been forever! But I’m still alive! There’s a little mention of implied violence, but it’s all just cute, really. Sorry I take too long! 

Words: ~2,100

💙💙💙

“Or you can quit telling me how to live my life, Chanyeol,” you complain, putting your phone down because you finally spot Chanyeol getting down their company car in his glorious failure of a disguise – a white cap and facemask, worn under a hoodie with the word BALENCIAGA spelled in angry bold letters across his broad back. For an idol who has spent years in the limelight, you would think that the guy had grown wiser in his choice of outfits for public places like, this instance, a mall parking lot. Even that middle-aged woman raking leaves across the entrance gives him a second look.

Who wouldn’t?

Because there is no need to walk like that – with a slight upward tilt in his head, one hand pressing a phone to his ear and the other on his hip, strutting confidently with smooth, long strides. You make a mental note to remind him that the pavement is no catwalk. It’s almost mesmerising, watching a real-life supermodel approach you, looking fresh even when his eyes are squinting hard against the mid-morning sun.

About three meters away, his voice is distinctly Chanyeol, but just a bit huskier than usual as if he is dying to put on a show. Too bad there seems to be no one else watching but you.

“It’s real! You’re here!“ he calls out anyway, extending a clenched fist – a move that you recognise is reserved for his male friends. You stare at the fist bump that never happened, knowing well what he would say if you take his bait. Something along the lines of: For a man, your hands are small, or How’s my brother in a woman’s body? or That’s my little YN-niee! which is always followed by Yah! I really wish you were born a guy!

So you stare at his hand, not sharing the level of his excitement. Shit just happened. You have too little energy to deal with Chanyeol’s fantasies of you as his younger brother. When he notices your lack of enthusiasm, his outstretched hand goes for your head and attempts to mess your hair up instead. “You must be desperate to waste money. The mall does not open in an hour.”

Just desperate to get out of my head, really.

On a regular day, you would hate even the wind for ruining your hair. But this time, his hands are surprisingly gentle. You make an effort to ignore how it feels and snap back at him, anyway. “It’s called Retail Therapy. You just don’t understand the joy of buying yourself new clothes because you never have to.”

He proudly concurs with a smug raise of his brows. “That’s true. I never have to.” It’s that attitude of his that always earns him a slap to his arm. But his fingers are playfully combing through your hair now, and you do not exactly hate the feeling. So you just let him, hoping nobody with a camera on his person ever sees this happening.

“Meanwhile, may I comment that the whole look you went for this morning is aptly low profile,” you tell him for the sake of saying something.

But what you say makes him tug at his training pants reflexively. “These?”

When he removes his cap, pulls down his mask, and appraises his outfit, you realise that he had just overlooked your sarcasm.

“Uh-huh. It totally pleads Don’t Stalk Me, Dispatch. I'm Not Park Chanyeol, I Promise.”

He chuckles. “It’s protection,” he reasons, completely getting rid of the cap and mask.

“Protection? From what? The sun?”

This time, it is you, genuinely not picking up on the joke – or pun – either way, you know that he spends quite a lot of time with his good friend Baekhyun who gives equally horrible punch lines. You have met the guy a few times and you are sure that the baffled look you had on your face is the exact same one you’re giving Chanyeol at the moment.

He seems to enjoy it. It takes him a few seconds to explain. “It’s protection from you.”

From me?

“Excuse you, but I’m the one who needs protecting!” You argue and it makes him grin from ear to ear. You realise that you had just given him the reaction he was hoping to get.

“No, you don’t,” he insists, “Based on last night’s phone call, you’re upset over your boyfriend. And do you know what you do when you’re upset, in general?”

“What?” Frankly, you know that you do a lot of things.

“You flail your arms around and hit people!” Chanyeol exclaims, and then he stretches his arms out and flaps them, trying to imitate how you’re supposed to look. It’s ridiculous how he is making it appear worse than it actually is. “You and your little man paws! Hitting innocent people all because your boyfriend made you cry again! It’s about time–””

“Yah! For the final time, Chanyeol, I am not a man! Also, must I tell you, he’s not my boyfriend anymore!”

“Shut it! You are one of us so that makes you a – wait, you… He… What?” There’s a bit of a delay, but in a snap, his energy drops, his eyes grow wide and your first point is now obviously abandoned.

“It’s what I said,” you clarify reluctantly. “And, my main point right now, please stop treating me like a guy, already!”

Chanyeol’s not hearing any of what you just said. His eyes remain on yours, searching for any hint of a lie.

He does not find one. “You’re saying… That YBN is not?? …Anymore?”

Again, the same reaction. It’s the same words, the same tone, the same look of caution and concern – it’s always the same questions every time you tell somebody new. All the repetitive explaining is starting to become more painful than the breakup itself. You hate it more than you can express. It makes you lose it for a moment and yell at your friend with careless regard for your surroundings. “You understood the first time! Why does everyone want me to spell it out?!”

That is when you realise that he is right. Your hands have a mind of their own.

“Yah! Yah! That’s what I’m talking about!” Chanyeol whines, using his forearm to fend off a jab that you were about to give him. Just as he had predicted. “Watch out because people around here will know who you’re hitting. Do that a few more times and you’ll be exposed. My fans won’t like it!”

You roll your eyes at his sudden mood shift after confirming your breakup. There’s no way you’re missing Chanyeol’s smile that is starting to inch in. He never really liked YBN. Now that you’ve broken up with the guy, you can already hear the satisfaction dripping in his voice when he delivers his much anticipated I told you so because this time, he’s right. You grumble, exceptionally annoyed, because of how right he is.

“Anywaaaay, back to why I need protecting…  You’re right. He nearly hit me.”

And you wonder why Chanyeol’s pretty slow on the uptake this morning. He takes two seconds.

“What!?” Finally, his eyes nearly bug out of their sockets. He takes another second to shake his head from disbelief and then asks again. “He what?!”

This morning, Chanyeol’s a freaking cartoon. His aggravated expression seems out of place, given how much he has been confronting you about your now-ex-boyfriend’s alleged tendency towards violence. He saw it coming. Why is he so surprised? Your eyes roll.

“Relaaaaax. I’m more capable than I look. I started training for–”

“Stop that!” he interrupts, dismissing all humour from the situation. “He hit you?!” And he’s angry, possibly even more furious than your father had been. You certainly don’t remember doing anything that warranted any scolding. But here he is, getting all worked up while you stand your ground with hands in your pockets because you are starting to pick on your nails. Despite your nerves, you try to remain as calm as you could, and you are determined to make him realise that you’re not the enemy here.

“You’re not listening to me, Chanyeol! I said he nearly, and by nearly, I mean he missed. He punched the wall behind my face instead.”

You say it with a convincing smile, but Chanyeol still does not respond. He inhales sharply and looks up the sky, pulling his hair – what he does whenever he could not get his point across.

“But I’m kinda proud of myself, so thanks for asking twice,” you continue, still grinning at him and trying to keep it cool. You’re not about to just watch him blow up. Not now and certainly not here. An angry Chanyeol is not a fun Chanyeol. So you let the silence ensue as you watch him, whose eyes are still closed and is obviously putting in the effort, himself.  

He fails.

“Fucking hell. Who hits a woman!?” All of a sudden, he starts to furiously rub his face against his palms until his nose turns pink. “Does he know who he’s messing with? Have you seen how small he stands beside me? I could crush him with–”

“Park Chanyeol!” You yell at him this time, because it is the only way to snap him out of it. “He messed with me. Not you. And I’ll remind you that you’re my dad’s student, not my bodyguard!”

“But I am also your friend!”

That had done it. He yells even louder, causing a dog to bark in the distance. It brings him back to the present, as you notice him consciously steal a side glance at the parking entrance, making sure nobody has come to watch the show.

When he sees that nobody’s there, he grumbles something incoherent. I’m a special friend, it sounded very much like. But he shakes his head again and promptly rephrases that. “Look, I am your good friend, first of all! I can’t believe you just freaking downgraded me!”

That you did. But that’s only because you think he’s getting too involved in this. You’ve let it go.

Why couldn’t he?

“You see, this is why I didn’t get to join your family’s dinner last Friday. Also, this is why I didn’t tell you over the phone! Look at you!”

He does. He realises that his hands are now impulsively clenched into fists at his sides, and his feet, apart, and planted to the ground as if he is preparing for a fight. With you.

“Calm down a little? I had enough testosterone when I told my dad about it last night,” you explain. You’re not about to let yourself get another round of scolding. This morning is all about recovery. “I promise I’m okay and I’ll feel even better when I get to shop for things I like!”

Your false eagerness seems to exasperate him even more. “Again, that’s a waste of money. You’ll surely buy clothes you won’t wear again!”

“How am I supposed to… Give me alternatives then!” you demand. He’s got way too much opinions any way.

But Chanyeol accepts his chance and then he goes, “Hm,” full of scrutiny, as if he has something better in mind. It turns out that he actually does. And by better, he means better by his standards. “How about I teach you how to throw a proper punch?”

“You mean, boxing?”

He nods.

And you think hell no. You eye him suspiciously, peering at him from under his cap that he had just placed on your head. “If this about making me a man, I swear to–”

“Come on, just come on! I’ll make it fun!” His mood seems to shift for good this time. “We can tape his face on the punching bag and you can pretend to be hitting him!”

“Nice try, but that only hurts my hands. It’ll make no difference,” you tell him, even though a part of you considers the idea an entertaining way to get over yourself already.

“It will, I promise. I’ll fund your next shopping spree if I don’t convince you.”

The suggestion gets you thinking even more. It’s not a bad deal, is it? You bite the bullet and Chanyeol sees that he’s got the upper hand. You both smile. “Any more benefits?” you ask. And his response comes as a reflex. “That, and I’ll make sure your punches reach him through me.”

“Park Chanyeol!”

“Hahaha! I’m just kidding!” Chanyeol promises, playfully holding his fists out in front of you. You don’t quite miss that devious smirk. “Or am I?”

💙💙💙

- end - 

[tamiddyinyourcity]

11:03pm.

I HAVE THESE LUUUUCID DREAMS WHEEEEERE I CANT MOOOOVE A THIIING.

Fuck, I forgot Juice Wrld died. Its actually really freaking goshdarned depressing.

Wednesday, May 20th of 2020.

How am I feeling?

I'm doing alright so far. Nothing too remarkable. Letting the days pass by with ease.

It could be going easier, but, at least its still going.

Random life updates:

The foot slave dude from Twitter suddenly had ghosted me. Whatever, man. He was a little odd.

Also, some young chick went "YOU GOT SIX DOLLARS FOR FEET PICS????" And not in the "HOW COOL" way, but in the "you could've charged ten per photo and scored 20". Fuck, ouch. I could've bought that game Cam recommended me or something.... I really do wanna play Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlands. Seems dope, you know?

Had taken an "ugly family selfie" with the other people in my house. My mom will inevitably shade me for my Playboi Carti Travis Scott Lookin Ass protective style braids in the photo, but it's still nice. Or, they still act like being around them is a huge burden. (But them acting like I'm stuck up and loathe them makes me more resistant or unsure of them, so it seems pretty damn useless.)

Hell, even back when I still somewhat gave a fuck about other members of this household, bitches were still.... fucking weird. Like, still shading me. Every time we hung out as a family, my mom went out of her way to be such an asshole to me. My sister found a way to be hostile. Older brother mocked me. Younger sibling was bland. I just.... geez, I am actually tearing up writing this. It would be nice, not being treated like shit by the other household members, you know?

I'm getting better at handling my natural hair. But still not 100% excelling at the whole "have your headscarf stay on the entire night" sorta thing.

I think my period is coming? I honestly couldn't tell if it was anxiety or just general despair causing my severe depression and physical fatigue these days. And upsetness. But, my uterus area is doing that hyperspecific cramp thing, i guess. Whoohoo, still not pregnant!

Trying to make friends! Am I succeeding? Not entirely, but that's not the point! Still trying! Still doing things anyway!

A girl I know told me that I inspire her with my writing and posts on another page..... Honestly? I love it so much. Shoutout to Zuri and Sam, yall are so sweeeeeet and kind lovely individuals and my day is brightened whenever yall talk to me.

Summer is CANCELLLLLLED AND I AM SAD ABOUT IT EVERY DAY. I was supposed to pull up flexing on these niggas like aerobics, but I guess I'll just have to save all the lacefronts I bought for something else then... A video maybe? Noice.

I miss grilled onions and barbecue sauce with ranch on a bacon cheeseburger with curly fries. Taro boba. Steak fries. All that good shit. The thing I miss most about going outside was the food. Since even alone, I could enjoy a mango juice on the patio of a diner and people watch with the sun out, or enjoy the outdoors. I don't think I'll care too much about human interactions, due to how poor it feels like its going while everyone is stuck indoors. But, hey, i miss shit.

Might go to the beach with my headphones when this is all over. Just feeling the sunset slowly, going from blazing to a nice, comforting slow burn level warmth of red and orange trailing down my skin. It feels better than sex, let me tell you that.

I'm officially 99.9% done with my bedroom! All I have to do is organize two small bins of items, and then wallah. Its so small that I can probably sleep for the first time in awhile without feeling wildly depressed about all the hoards of things I'll have to do.

Scored a podcast with a buddy this Friday! Boo yah, bitch. :)

11:43pm.

Feeling super exhausted. Long ass day, didn't eat enough. But feeling happy, and that's all that matters, really.

OH WAIT.

I FORGOT TO MENTION HOW MY COMMUNITY WASHER AND DRYER TOTALLY RUINED MY VERY FLUFFY VERY WHITE BEDROOMS WITH A THICK BLACK UNREMOVEABLE STAIN.

AND DIDN'T REMOTELY DRY MY CLOTHES DESPITE AN HOUR IN THE DRYER, RUMBLING.

Yikes.

Thats really shitty.

At least it's not my only blanket right now.

Gonna go to sleep.

Peace out.