#yagamilightkin

[fictionkinfessions]

I'm not sure how to feel about this since I've not really interacted with fictionkin-centred posts often, but I've been finding myself feeling extremely connected to the point of growing anxious and breaking down when it comes to the character Yagami Light from Death Note, especially when he is shipped with any character at all or if someone misinterprets him and his goals. I find myself relating to him to a concerning level, and feeling dissatisfied with myself for being so due to, well, his role as the villain in the story and how I still see myself having done or doing the same things in his position. Does that make me a bad person? I mean, if I truly do kin a morally grey character (who isn't even morally grey- it's just wrong in hindsight with so many flaws in the logic and process of carrying out plans), does that carry onto me? I feel that I would despise people like Kira in real life, but I find myself relating to him so much it hurts. it's just... confusing?

And It's not as if I'll ever be able to say it out loud or post it on any non-anonymous blog even if I really am kinning this character because that'd come with more issues that I'm not exactly willing to deal with, not only from people who disregard kinning, but also from those who know about what Kira has done in canon. Additionally, it being from a manga/anime such as Death Note? I mean, I wouldn't consider myself an avid fan of the series, but god does it feel irritating when things are blatantly wrong in discussions about the source.

additionally, I've found that I've had other similar issues (for a lack of a better word) before with characters that I feel may be less conventional, if even characters. For example I heavily relate to an ex-friend's oc, it's not even funny. I swear I really shouldn't have been so emotional about it considering that I do put my own ocs through hell and anyone should be able to do whatever they like with their ocs, but I had distanced myself from that friend from doing the same thing to that specific oc and making fun of that oc, though I never did voice it. And secondly, perhaps even up to now, I associate part of my identity with the concept of the Backrooms- not even am entity or character? That's... something. I'm not even sure if that's a thing that exists.

but...I guess I'm anxious over this for a multitude of reasons, and finding patterns that Im conflicted over.

not too sure if this counts as fictionkinning or kinsidering (that is the word, isn't it?) so this doesn't have to be posted. But overall, yeah. I'm at a loss for words as to where to go from here after typing all this out.

📦

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

I'm Yagami Light, and I don't regret a single thing I did. God's don't make mistakes.