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livsinpjs · 4 years ago

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Believe in the Green Light (pt 3) the busy

“There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired.” - F. Scott. Fitzgerald

The BAU team is called into Pasadena, California after the deaths of three lead to an investigation revolving around Gatsby, a new drug that hit the market at a dead sprint. When a raid on a house reveals the creator of the drug, a young man no one even knew was missing, Jason Gideon and co. find themselves involved in a case bigger than they originally thought.

Spencer sat as still as possible, trying not to aggravate his injuries. He tried to clear his mind, which was running a mile a minute. He needed to take stock of his injuries. That was something he could do. That was something within his control. He closed his eyes and let himself focus on the pain that was his entire world. Starting from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. He obviously had a concussion. He didn’t know how severe. He couldn’t remember how many blows he sustained, but the throbbing behind his eyes and the nausea was enough to confirm it. Moving downwards to his throat, which was most likely bruised from the times They would strangle him. Not enough to make him pass out or anything, just enough to slam his head against the concrete wall, which didn’t help the concussion.

Then to his face, bruised and bloody. Nose was probably broken, and cuts from the rings his attackers wore as they pummeled him into oblivion. His mind wandered then, wondering what could have happened to those men that made them feel the need to beat him senseless. Or maybe they were just complete sadists? Trying to use his profiling skills in this condition was almost impossible. Almost. But he was getting distracted. Injuries. Right.

Farther down to his ribs, and shit did he not want to think about them. But it was all he could do at this point. He tried to focus but he could feel his mind wandering, self loathing and crippling hopelessness filling his stomach and- No. It will be okay. He just had to not think about it. But not thinking is something he just doesn’t do. So thinking about something else is his only choice, and- Damn it Reid, focus. Ribs right. Definitely bruised if not broken, obvious by the way his chest moved and felt each time he took a breath. How many, he couldn’t tell. Couldn’t pinpoint the places in most pain. All right, lower. His stomach was probably bruised, but he couldn’t see through his tattered, bloody shirt.

Then to his legs, probably bruised. His ankle was most definitely broken. If the way his foot was pointing wasn’t enough of an indicator, the fire coursing through his veins sure was. That was the last of his injuries that he could pinpoint. Everything else was just pain.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to release his agitation by throwing a huge tantrum like a child or have a breakdown like an emotional teenager. He couldn’t, of course, but even if he could he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t give Them the satisfaction of seeing him break. It was just so hard to hold himself together. The only thing stopping a full meltdown was his situation. He knew that if he did, he could die. They would kill him if he acted out. They told him so. So he just had to sit, the most of the pain being caused by the buzzing under his skin. He just had to sit and wait.

But wait for what?

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

The team walked into the precinct early the next morning. Quickly they began working on the profile.

“The overkill suggests an emotional motive. Maybe he’s a kid being bullied at school. He kills his aggressors to take revenge.” Morgan said as he sat at their table, looking at a specific photo of the deceased Michael Nook.

Gideon shook his head. “These killings have a kind of... maturity to them. If the Unsub was a highschool student, there would be a lot more overkill and a messier crime scene. He would also have most likely stolen the items on the victims, especially the drugs.”

“So who is this guy?” Morgan wonders aloud. JJ walks in with coffee and they continue to work.

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

After a while of note taking and slow progression, Detective Sanders came into their conference room with a grave look.

“They’ve found another body. Killed last night by the looks of it. Witnesses recall multiple gunshots.”

Hotchner and Morgan stood up at the same time. They nodded to each other and looked towards Gideon.

“I think I’ll stay here and update victimology.” Gideon said, turning to the board once more.

“All right Morgan, let’s head out.” Hotchner spoke and they left Gideon alone to stew in his thoughts.

What is it about the victims that get them killed?

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

CSI swarmed the alleyway between Marceline’s Flower shop and Bubblegum Tattoo Parlor, crime scene tape and markers seemingly strewn about randomly.

Morgan and Hotchner weaved in and out of people’s way, flashing their credentials when necessary. They were finally able to squeeze into the eye of the storm, crime scene techs taking pictures and doing all sorts of tests. Detective Sanders finished speaking with a technician and approached the agents. Morgan already crouched, examining the dead man.

“Chris Alexander, 28. He had copious amounts of Gatsby on him, as well has hundreds of dollars in cash.” Sanders said as he looked down at the deceased.

“He must be one of the Gatsby dealers, he may have connections to the manufacturers. Morgan, call Garcia and have her go through every inch of data on this man’s phone. I want anything to do with Gatsby analyzed, see if we can find where these manufacturers are, they may be his next target.” Hotch ordered as he pulled out his phone as well, pressing a speed dial and turning to take his call in some semblance of privacy.

Morgan stood and did the same, pressing one of his first speed dials.

“You’ve reached the mistress of all knowledge. Speak mortal, and have your questions answered.” Penelope spoke into her head piece.

“Hey baby girl, I need a complete search through a victim’s phone” He motioned at a CSI tech and they handed over the phone. “Name’s Chris Alexander.” He pulled up the phone number and read it off. “Filter anything having to do with Gatsby or drugs, also anything to do with the book The Great Gatsby, they may have some sort of code they use.”

“Alright, give me a bit to comb and I’ll get back to you hot stuff.”

“Thanks sugar.” He smiled into the phone as he hung up. What a woman. He caught up with Hotchner and they finished up at the crime scene before heading back to the police precinct.

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

When they arrived, Gideon was adding information to their board, fresh pictures of Chris Alexander and the crime scene already up.

“He’s growing more agitated. More angry. The amount of overkill in this victim is equal to the distributed amount amongst the Nook’s and McCarthy.” Gideon spoke, not turning to see the two agents entering the conference room. With JJ speaking to the press about another shooting, it was just the three of them.

“Yet the amount of victims has decreased. He killed three in the beginning, why kill only one this time around?” Hotch mused, stepping up to the board next to Gideon.

“Maybe he’s killing these people for a specific reason. All four victims had Gatsby on them. Maybe this guy just has a vendetta against the stuff, or maybe someone he knows is using and he wants to get rid of it.” Morgan sat at the table, opening the file and looking through it for the umpteenth time.

“Whoever he is, he’s getting angrier.” Gideon said.

Derek’s phone rang then, he quickly put Penelope on speaker. “What have you got for me baby girl?”

“Okay, so this guy is not sneaky at all. He blatantly speaks about Gatsby without hesitation, ya know if I were a super secret drug dealer I would use a bunch of code names, especially common words so no one would suspect anything, like grocery shopping, but not this guy is all like ‘Hey I’m selling Gatsby here and here so don’t be goin’ around there’ Like come on! He-”

“Baby girl, you’re getting off topic, what have you got?”

“Right! Well anyway he talks to this one guy a lot, Nick, who looks to me like an OG dealer. He’s kind of mentoring this guy, telling him where to go and where not to go. Anyway, I was able to find a recent message from them saying where they’re gonna be selling throughout the week. This week.”

Hotch spoke up then, “That’s great Garcia, send us an address and we’ll get back to you soon.’’ Then he hurried out of the room. Morgan and Gideon gave each other questioning looks, but neither of them knew what had gotten into their supervisor.

“All right baby girl, thank you, well get back with you later.” With that, he hung up and he and Gideon left the conference room to find their boss.

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

She was shaking. Her frizzy blonde hair in a ponytail and her arms wrapped around her as if she was cold in the humid, California air. She looked around feverishly until she spotted him. He was scoping out the crowd just like her, but he was more calm and collected. She looked like she would lash out any second. She quickly moved towards the man, almost desperately.

“You have some, right? The- the stuff? You know? I can tell, you look like the other guys who gave it to me. Please tell me you have some.” She was almost pleading with the man. He seemed amused at her desperate cries.

“I might have the stuff you’re looking for..” He glanced towards a nearby alleyway and began walking towards it.

She quickly caught up to him, falling into step beside him as they entered the alley. “Please, I’ll give you anything.”

He looked her up and down. “Anything?”

“First the stuff.” She almost pleaded. He took out a small, white vial, showing it off.

“How do I know you won’t run with it the second you get your hand on it?”

“B-Because…” she stuttered, reaching behind her.

She drew her gun and pointed it at Nicholas Armstrong. “You’re under arrest. FBI Special agent Jennifer Jareau.” After that, police and FBI agents swarmed the alley, quickly confiscating the drug and cuffing the perpetrator.

“Good work JJ.” Morgan approached her after Nick was carted away.

“It was Hotch’s idea. He looked at Abigail Cooper and thought, with some acting and an outfit change, I could fit in with her crowd. It was his idea to send me in undercover. I’m just glad it went smoothly.”

“Yeah,” He patted her on the back “Me too.”

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

“Look, if you tell us where you got the drug, we’ll say you cooperated with the authorities, that usually sticks out to a judge and maybe your punishment won’t be as bad.” Morgan was trying once again to get Nicholas Armstrong to talk.

“And I already told you I don’t know shit!” Nick said defiantly, crossing his arms as if to prove a point.

“Listen man, I’m sure you’ve heard on the news about the recent killing, yeah? Well, one of the victims was your little friend Chris Alexander. And we have reason to believe the killer’s gonna come after you and these people you got Gatsby from. Now we could put you into protective custody, or we can charge you with illegal distribution of drugs and you’ll be fined and sent on your merry way. Straight into the arms of a killer. So how ‘bout you just tell me where we can find these other guys!” Morgan slammed his hands on the table for emphasis at the end of his spiel. Looking pointedly at the man whose eyes had become like saucers.

“O-okay okay… geez.” He sat up straight and inhaled before continuing. “I don’t know who they are, but every week they open up their house and sell it to use out of there. Actually, there are rumors that they make the stuff down there and that they’re a part of some kind of mob or something, but everyone is too scared of them to try anything.”

“An address, Armstrong. I need an address.”

“Right, right, uh.. It’s 4267 Leavenworth. That’s all I know, I swear.”

“All right, I appreciate your help my man.” And with that, Derek walked out of the room and pulled out his phone. “Hotch, yeah I’m gonna need a SWAT Team at 4267 Leavenworth.”

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

Spencer woke with a start. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, (especially if he had a concussion) but there wasn’t much else to do down in his prison, and he needed to keep up his energy, in case he had any opportunities to escape. He blinked several times, trying to clear his head in vain. After a moment it occurred to him that something must have woken him up. He looked around the room, but nothing seemed out of place. But there it was again. The door was being unlocked. Spencer braced himself, not knowing who to hope for. The two maybe sadists or Maria and her family.

He didn’t have to wait long to find out though, because Maria came strolling in, her father right beside her, looking beyond angry. Spencer tensed as if he were to be struck, but no blow came. The two stopped at Spencer’s feet before the father began speaking.

“We’re leaving.” he said coolly. At this Spencer’s mind raced. Where are they going? Are they going to take him with them or let him go? Or are they going to leave him for dead? Before he could spiral any further, the man spoke again. “Someone’s killin’ the clientele here and the feds have shown up.”

Spencer’s heart swelled at that. The FBI is here, it’s only a matter of time before they arrest Them and rescue him. “But unfortunately for you…” Spencer’s train of thought was immediately disrupted by the man and hopelessness filled him yet again. “You ain’t gonna be seeing no feds in this lifetime. Maria, if you will.” And then he left the room, leaving Maria and Spencer alone.

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

Maria stared down at her captive as her hand went to the gun behind her. He looked terrible. His pretty features hidden underneath blood and grime. His form trembling. He hadn’t uttered a word in the six weeks he had been there. Answering questions with a shake or a nod of his head. He would make the occasional scream of ‘no’ or ‘stop’, like the time yesterday when Tyrone had broken his ankle. Other than that, he’d hum annoyingly or whimper. But nothing else. It was almost like he had gone mute. She knew he could speak. He talked immensely during their class together. Almost none stop. It was almost… endearing in a way. Now he refused to say anything. She almost felt bad for him. He was about to die, beaten and bruised in the basement of a random suburban house with no one to even know he was gone..

She leveled the gun at Spencer’s head and he froze, fear seeping out of every pore. He began to frantically shake his head. She hesitated for a moment, but she quickly recovered her resolve and-

He was mouthing a word at her. What was he trying to say? Then she heard it. The tiniest whisper.

“Please.”

She stopped, dropping her arm and looking at the boy in front of her. He was just a boy. He didn’t deserve to die like this. But her father was waiting for her...

A tear, and a gunshot.

Maria joined her father upstairs and they prepared to depart Spencer Reid’s personal hell.

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

The shot was so painful he slammed his head against the wall. And then he did it again. And again. He couldn’t stop himself anymore. He bit through his lip, trying to stay quiet, but a yell still tore through his throat and his leg-

God, his leg. It hurt more than anything he had ever felt before. His vision was tunneling and he was hyperventilating and he couldn’t stop hitting his head.

Against.

The.

Wall.

He couldn’t tell if the sound in his ears was in his head or coming from him.

Then the tears came, silently falling down his face.

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

SWAT cars and black SUVs screeched to a halt just outside of a small suburban house. Agents filing out of their vehicles and putting their vests on. Derek Morgan checked his gun for his ammunition and once he was certain his magazine was full, he began speaking with the SWAT directors.

“It’s a simple raid. Apprehend anyone in the house and secure Gatsby and anything else like it. Then once that is taken care of, we’ll station members undercover to try to bait out the Unsub-”

Before he could finish his sentence, a gun shot was heard from inside the house.

“Shots fired!” Someone shouted and they stormed the house. Right away they apprehended two people, a young woman and an older man, presumably related. After disarming them and carting them away, shouts of ‘clear’ were heard throughout the house. Derek took a few SWAT members down into the basement of the house. He was surprised by what he found.

He wasn’t surprised by the lab equipment and the vials of Gatsby. No, he was surprised to find a young boy chained to the wall and bleeding out.

He was seated on the floor, with chains suspending his arms. He couldn’t have been over 19 by the look of him. He was bruised and bloody, but the thing that alarmed him the most was that he was banging his head against the wall. Hard.

After a moment, the SWAT members were finished staring. They advanced and that’s when the boy noticed he wasn’t alone anymore.

His eyes were filled with utter terror. More tears peaked out of the corners of his eyes and he tried his best to move away from the strange men and their weapons. Derek noticed his distress worsening.

“Put your guns down and back away from the kid!” Derek yelled. After a moment, the SWAT agents moved back, lowering their weapons. Derek’s gun was already put away. The kid seemed to relax slightly. He tried to pull his knees up to his chest but his right thigh must have been shot, so he just settled for the one knee. He tried to curl up as well as possible as he continued to slam his head against the wall. Silent tears streaming down his face and a pool of blood gathering under his leg.

Morgan didn’t know what to do. But his instincts took over and soon he found himself slowly inching his way closer to the kid.

“Hey, kid. It’s all right, no one is going to hurt you anymore.” Derek said as he crouched a few feet away from the kid. When the kid opened his eyes, they were glazed over in pain and something else Derek didn’t recognize. But he took it as a sign to continue. “My name is Derek Morgan. I work with the FBI. It’s okay now, we’re here to help you.”

He didn’t get any response. The kid just blinked unfocused eyes at him and kept banging his head on the wall, crying. Then Morgan made the mistake of coming closer.

~CRIMINAL MINDS~

Spencer’s mind was racing so fast he couldn’t think. When the group of men in black came down with their guns, the logical thing to think was ‘oh the authorities’ right? But no. Spencer started to panic even worse because all he could see were their guns and all he could feel was the agony in his leg. He faintly registered himself hitting his head against the wall, but now that he finally gave in after 6 weeks, he couldn’t stop. It was like everything he tried to hold back during his weeks of captivity were trying to escape now that his body found him in significantly less danger. So he closed his eyes and wished it all to just stop. To go away.

He registered a voice then, talking to him.

“No one is going to hurt you anymore”

He wanted to believe that. He really did but, he didn’t know if he could. He opened his eyes to try and look at the man speaking to him. The first thing his mind was able to register were the three white letters on his bullet-proof vest. FBI. He said something else, but Spencer can’t remember what it was because the next thing to happen was the man coming closer. And then They were coming at him.

“NO! STOP!” He yanked as hard as he could on his cuffs, but like all the times before, they didn’t budge.

After the roaring in his ears subsided, he managed to make out another sound over his hyperventilating.

“Shh shh shh, it’s okay, I won’t come any closer. Just breathe, okay? Breathe.”

He took a few short breaths before they evened out into slightly deeper breaths.

“That’s it, nice and easy. It’s just you and me now kid, and I’m not going to hurt you.” True to the man’s words, when Spencer opened his eyes, which he never remembered closing to begin with, it was just the one FBI agent and himself.

He took another, shaky breath, before relaxing the muscles in his stomach

“All right, that’s good. You’re doing great, can you stop hitting your head against the wall for me?” The FBI agent asked.

Could he stop? He didn’t really know. He probably could if he really tried. His body was already exhausted enough. He tried, and he was able to slow it down, then he graduated to just pushing his head against the wall after a few minutes, needing to do something to distract himself from the pain that was his everything..

“Good, good job kid. Now, a friend of mine is gonna come in here with some bolt cutters and we’re gonna get you out of here. Is that okay?” The man asked.

“Is that okay?” Spencer echoed back. Eyes widening, he quickly nodded and then slammed his head back against the wall, just stopping himself from continuing the rhythmic banging of earlier.

Spencer saw one of the man’s eyebrows quirk slightly, but the agent said nothing. He spoke into his comms and after a moment, another man in an FBI vest came into the room.

“All right so, agent Hotchner here is going to get a little close just so he can cut the chains holding you here okay? Then we’ll get you out of here. What’s your name?” The agent asked.

“What’s your name?” Spencer said back.

He was utterly mortified. He didn’t think about it for long though because agent Hotchner came closer with the bolt cutters in hand. He heard the other agent answer his echoed question with “Derek Morgan” but quickly squeezed his eyes tight and went stiff as a board. A few moments later, his arms fell to his sides. He let out a quiet cry of pain, used to the pain of moving his arms after so long suspended over his head though, he powered through and quickly grabbed onto his leg.

He shouldn’t have done that because the pain he felt was 10 times worse. He cried out and slumped against the wall again, breathing heavily. He didn’t have the energy anymore. He was so tired. Just so, so tired.

He watched the two agents move towards him, but he didn’t have the energy anymore to flinch. He watched them talking, he couldn’t tell whether they were talking to him or to each other. The ringing in his ears was back again.

The last thing he sees is agent Morgan grabbing him and carrying him out of Hell.

pt 1| pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 |

#liv's fics #cm #criminal minds #spencer reid #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jennifer jj jareau #jason gideon #aaron hotchner #angst #pt 3

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sh-lan · 7 years ago

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i’m always late for these now but oh well

i can’t believe i’m making an ebay account happy new year LOL

Third day of the new year!

Went to hangout with ryan and leighton. They wanted to try marugame udon so!!! Also i saw adam but didnt say hi, oops. In any case. We were like hey let’s do something like walk around! But it rained a little so we bought some cuties from trader joe’s and ended up at ryan’s house and basically sat in his kotatsu for 4 hours then i came home. I also finally know how it feels like when the manga says that your legs get tangled inside the kotatsu. And when you literally cannot get out of it. Plus the feeling of losing the ability to walk because ya gurl tried to stand up after crawling out of the kotatsu and just fell back down What a day LOL

my brain in general has forgotten how it feels like to study …oh dear

Mommy helped me dye my hair yesterday! It’s lighter than i thought but it was the gray ochre color from palty! And it smells like grape hichews Facetimed vania & yuri today and they noticed the color! And then facetiming with dad and he also noticed LIKE WOW I DIDNT REALIZE PEOPLE COULD TELL? <3

I want a lot of cute phone case but idk what and where to get EDIT: i am still having this problem

I just saw the golden year of the dog items from starbucks korea AND I WANT EDIT: also want the starbucks x pantone planner fml EDIT EDIT: did not end up buying anything good job deborah lan

i was right muster merch colors ARE BEAUTIFUL

The muster merch fmu EDIT: clearly i was overwhelmed with the colors because there were two separate drafts in a row lol

The company insists on having two references….

And now they said they chillin with a peer reference SO I PHONED A FRIEND (aka vania) bless her soul

jan 10th l i f e u p d a t e got the first job offer of my life!! (well official full time offer lol) and so it looks like i’m going to portland? :O

Wow i joined a GO for muster merch New year new me and goodbye money 탕진잼 탕진잼 탕진잼

Wow im glad i submitted the form to get muster merch because THEY ARE SO CUTE AND PRETTY. Okay but i really want PCs so i sincerely hope bighit has some sense and ship PC sets abroad when you order multiple other items Also didnt realize the lenticular key rings would be a hot item but seriously they are so much more adorable than i thought?? Jk’s key ring is so cute i cri EDIT: just found out about no acrylic stand )))): EDIT EDIT: didn’t get squat because ARMYs jump all over everything any time anything is released...

finding housing is hard and i can’t believe that i actually see an appeal to living in downtown…

fmu because bt21 getting released online BUT I REALLY SHOULDN’T BUY but also i finally got my package from jen! ugh omg the bag charms are so cute i don’t know whether to actually use them or keep them in their boxes ;__; and she included some mediheal masks! finally also sent vania her tata as a thank you gift~

deokrim stickers are too cute ima buy two sets

And ugh wow i cant believe i chanced upon cornpeu shop reopening im ded Vania and i didnt catch the timing for bt21 and now i’m still dumping money on bts things HAHA EDIT: not even 15 min after writing this, i bought the stuff from cornpeu lel (which couldve been used to buy the cushion so idk man) time to go preorder for deokrim maybe?

Wow my left hand hurts like shit did i really break it playing superstar bts like mom said? No way right

Ahhhh got my muster merch in the mail today and it’s so niceeee *^* Ima stick that washi tape like everywhere LOL

I hurt myself four different times today smh

In portland for the weekend! I deadass ate two packets of honey roasted peanuts on the plane ride over because i didnt realize i was so hungry and now i’m just waiting for the pimples to cOME ;__;

I walked into a stationery store in portland and just. FOUND MY PEACE. jk but i bought some stickers i been looking at online blesssss

No. Tax. Anywhere. (So far)

I had coke last night after my flight and i legit didnt feel tired until 3:30am oops

Omfg i cant believe someone was selling the trust issues photobook by snowpeach in the luce in altis project for $15 last night WOW LIKE THE FEW DAYS I DONT CHECK SHIT, THERE’S ALL KINDS OF SHIT I WANT. $15 is so cheap ;___;

went to portland with alice to check out apartments!!! woot. lots of fun going around/looking at the city. landed on thursday night and waited at the airport for alice and ate mcdonalds/watched the office haha friday: alice had work all day ): so i went out to meet up with yuri and leslie who happened to be out in portland too! walked to the alberta arts district to eat with them at pok pok noi. just walked around afterwards exploring in the rain before getting back home to eat dinner with alice at like 8…lol we went to bamboo sushi in sw and alice treated me to omakase as a congrats on getting my new yob!! woot also did some walking around in the neighborhood - will likely spend quite a bit of time in the powell city of books! saturday: the day we actually went out to see properties! grabbed some blue star donuts and headed into nw district - looked at some apartments and then grabbed lunch at this cute italian place that i will most likely frequent. started talking to alice about stuff and being weak, i cried and then we got free hazelnut ice cream…LOL. it was really good sunday: since we toured places that i actually liked yesterday, we basically just decided to walk around different areas. waterfront park, pioneer square…we spent a while in nordstrom rack and sephora looking for stuff for alice! lol. then dinner again at bamboo sushi and dessert at salt & straw :> monday morning: waking up early to get to the airport for alice’s flight. bought more donuts at the airport for mom! then i sat at the airport watching the office and eating until the airplane ride where i got a whole row to myself~

and that was my portland trip shortened LOL. but~ excited about the new city, definitely excited about the donuts!

Furniture shopping is hard Moving is hard Everythinf comes down to money S M H

Got approved for my apartment today!! #excited

legit on phone calls for an hour getting stuff down and ready. now to wait on emails so i can get to the next step to sign my lease!

It’s been hot in sf like ??? In other news, i put coconut oil in ma hair - let’s see how it feels tomorrow! :O EDIT: idk, it didn’t feel different?

Omg feb 5th: suddenly a day where i can play hard mode on ssbts wow what a day

I just saw the new bts game where you get to “live chat” the boys as the user becomes the manager and takes care of the bois I am literally gonna die All armys gonna die Why do they do this to us …BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE’LL NEVER BE THEIR MANAGERS

Today i threw away my first lip tint because it looked funky funks and was like dying Good bye you were good to me - onto more an new lip tints! On another note. The balenciaga cap is $350??!?!

Being fat today and ordered three desserts with han at creations. And then went to the beach because pokemon but ended up star-gazing and it was niceee

Just came across its it ice creams on IG and since it’s been so hot (cause like spring came early or something??) i want it!! Also, it’s like the only time i ever consume oatmeal raisin cookies (unless they just oatmeal - in which case, delicious) But omg i didnt know strawberry is an OG flavor? Althought mint reigns supreme. But. GREEN TEA??

A BUMBLEBEE FLEW INTO MY HOUSE THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS ALONE AND COULDNT HELP also raided mewtwo yesterday!! Woot. Surprisingly got the gym bonus after much hardwork but dayum caught with only one ball LOL

Ever since that one time on the airplane with the weird ass headache/tension above my left eyebrow….i got like two headaches in a week that were like that. Also in between those, my right ear hurts and honestly…am i broken somewhere cause lel Body please get better

Lmao so last time i put on a screen protector, i cracked it in two days cause i dropped it. And i just put on a new one last week and lo and behold, it hath cracked again but this time, in my purse. I’m so ????? Smh

Landed in portland once again with han for move in!! Woke up super early…. Just went to target/tj maxx to buy stuff. Smh should’ve bought a swiffer and gotten it sent here ): Got a shower rug! THE SOFT SQUISHY ONE. But failed in the shower curtain department cause it’s too short… Makeshift bed with blankets and bed sheets lol…we shall await the mattress coming in tomorrow~ Do have quite a bit of stuff to buy in general…): Anyways. Had a burrito for dinner and like ?!! Aluminum foil gave me an aluminum cut so…ow No internets yet - good thing han downloaded some movies!

My cuticles are dying because my hands are dry and wow this is terribad

Went and bought a shitton of strawberry chocolates for 50% off at cvs MUAHAHA

Went to macy’s (or we’ve been going often since it’s going out of business so things are going on sale) and got the seiko watch i was kinda eyeing last time. ONLY TO FIND OUT (forgot to check on amazon) that it was 38 dollahs cheaper ;__; but. EHHH it’s all good. Seems like the one on amazon has strap problems being too smol so…like, it’s totally chill

February 19th

My first day of work!! Went in earlies and had onboarding for about two hours with amother new hire. Then i returned to my room where i met my coworker and my manager! Both of whom are in the same room and we each have a desk. (Ima have to request a standing desk :O) anywayss. Got a company laptop - thank god it’s not bulky. And then i’ve got two monitors on my desk too! #bless

Then jlw went through more ux stuff with me and i also went to a stand up meeting. Like. Those are real man. Then went to company lunch! Where new hires introduce themselves and i realize that i have never used a dishwasher before and everyone was shookt lol.

Afterwards, i went to a sprint meeting AND BOIIIII PLANNING POKER DOE??? Lololol. I have to say i did not understand a single thing that was going on. Took about an hour and a half…

Anyways. went back in where jlw continued where she left off and then finally let me read some onboarding stuff on my own before she headed out at 4 and then me, leaving swiftly at 4 as well LOL

SO that was my first day! Trying to get everything in order - i hope that everything goes great and that i learn lots and lots! :> although…windows computer already killing me, no wonder people use mouses instead of the trackpad. Also…gotta learn Axure + in depth photoshop so…WOOT WOOT

Oh and we also have a huge snack cabinet i might just become a potato

Light snowfall is so pleasant :>

Bucketlist checklist:

Eat alone - check! First lunch break :> (exciting!)

Watch a movie by myself - check! Love, Simon

Second day - drank too much coffee while i’m still weak against caffeine. It’s 1:26am. HNNNGH

i got really bored at work today because even though it’s week 2 now, i was done with my shit at like 2pm so i just started looking at axure tutorials for another however long until 4:30 LOL side note: might actually do my post-its idea thing then i realize that i didn’t bring any post-its over to portland… also i cracked my screen again today because i slammed it on the counter while trying to save it from falling so did i really save it….

bought rice and shin ramen on amazon lel

Gonna try out my post it idea in the office tomorrow. Hope it goes well 🤞

2/28/17 First ever happy hour but also goodbye party for kyle - also like the first time i talked to him since the one and a half week i been there (minus when we introduced ourselves) but sads cause he was kinda a squish and everyone seemed to have a chill time working with him :/ oh well

ALSO THE FIRST DAY THAT YA GURL GOT PAID $$$ (which is just directly going to rent - oh the woe of getting paid bi-monthly LOL)

Wow i did a great job sticking on my phone screen protector! #yes EDIT: no i didnt. It’s blocking the camera slightly on top smh

Ya gurl cut her finger on a tape measure lmfaooo

Alice came two weekends in a row to help me buy and build stuff and daymn. That was some hard work and tbh i only built a shelf and a bed LOOOOL I think ima go for the sofa + table rather than the desk. I think it might work! Also went to ashun market. Good weekend :>

I went bowling today!! It was an engineering celebration so i thought - why not, let’s be social for a little bit. And it turned out to be fun~ we had some fuds and i played two rounds. And I got a strike in one of the rounds! Woot woot. Anyways. It was enjoyable, not as awkward as i had envisioned. Also i was able to successfully catch the bus home so that was great :>

I think i’m reverting back to my eating habits because there are ENDLESS SNACKS IN THE OFFICE. Oh dear

Really actually thinking about that dicon photobook because the pictures are so nice :<

ALSO FINALLY FCKIN DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY CHARGE ON KWH DIFFERS ON A MONTH TO MONTH BASIS in addition to usage. Wow the things you discover and uncover as you adult

Also city of portland why do you have a base charge of $11???????

Ahhh xfinity wifi was too good to be true Apparently only 5 devices could connect to it at one time. So i guess i gotta shop for internets now…LOL EDIT: NAWP. ALL GOOD. THAT WAS FOR HOME HOTSPOT. WOOT

Lmao my manager went to ucsd when marshall was still called third im

In other news. It looks like my one on one anxiety wont dissipate soon. Esp since last week, the vp of engineering just sent me a calendar invite for a one on one and i literally got stressed out for a straight 30 min before i said yes to the invite and could slowly go back to focusing on work lol…. EDIT: it ended up being around 15 minutes and i did not really enjoy it at all

We are bulletproof pt 2 came on today while i was walking and i still cannot believe that the first lines still got me smiling like a fckin idiot

Ok so i finally talked to this girl at work (who i think is really pretty omfg) the other day and she’d been curling her hair recently and as we were walking out of the bathroom i was like I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR And then she said my hair is so straight and healthy - “do you straighten it? It’s really pretty” and i’m just over here crying on the inside because it looks like hay and only happened to be really straight that day for god knows what reason. SO BASICALLY THE STARS ALIGNED JUST SO WE COULD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION Also she said she recently bought a curler that just “does it for you” and gurl i need that because idk how to DO ANYTHING TO MY HAIR UGH

I woke up with the blankets already nicely proportioned off the sides of my bed - so i just crawled out without making my bed today lool

Thought i could handle watching burn the stage but i saw the screenshot of jungkook lying down and it already broke my heart Need to be secluded with some tissues ;__;

A two day trip to see The Rose in seattle or a five day trip in san diego… 🤔🤔🤔

last day of march went to lunch with my coworkers for the first time and i actually enjoyed it! it was fun :> glad that my coworker actually dropped by the office to invite us to lunch~

good friday today because:

lunch was good

really honestly did nothing because we were troubleshooting visual studio

also basically did nothing because double sprint planning and retro LOL

HEADING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND UNTIL WEDNESDAY

#gotpaid

but no joke, on the ride to the airport, i got carsick and i honestly didn’t even know that was possible but if you think about it, i basically haven’t been on any kind of transportation for at least a month… also my uber driver is like some viet gangsta or something that gets pulled into the room every time he tries to go to canada O_O LOL

Deadass trying to save money but The rose concert in seattle, want to make an sd trip, want the 2k18 asia trip But also bts comeback sometime during the first half of the year and SUDDENLY WANNA ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A WORLD TOUR??? Dammit dude DAMMIT

My heart dies a little every time my coworker comes by and invites me to lunch with everyone *ugly sobs* Dies a little in a good way - just for clarification LOL

Mom dyed my hair for me! And it was darker than i thought BUT GREAT. Curiously enough, after two washes…it’s already lightening?? NO PLEASE STAY DARK. PLEASE. EDIT: lol i realized there was another “mother dyed my hair” somewhere on top lel. just for clarification - nobody else dyes my hair including myself cause i am incapable lOL

omfg i just saw the we bare bears x spao collab AND THEN FOUND THE ADVENTURE TIME X SPAO CLOTHES, SO CUTE!!! the jake and bmo hoodie )):

didn’t realize that i missed them so much ;__; we thought we would all die with the black hair but actually they just killed us with softness good thing they didn’t come out with foreheads lOL

okay lol basically that’s it because nothing happens in my life although i realze that i video recorded a lot of experiences and they’re all just video files sitting on my phone and that’s why maybe i haven’t been writing any everyday things down :O will i ever edit them? unclear

in any case - planning lots of fun things for the months to come hopefully!

#mumble mumble #does this count as #spring mumbles #debs in portland #adulting debs

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