#ya allah i was so scared i started sobbing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bullet-prooflove · 1 month ago

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All That Glitters: OA Zidan x Reader

Tagging: @trublu2u @mrspeacem1nusone @greenies-green @rosaliedeppp @whateversomethingbruh @anime-weeb-4-life @daydreaming-belle @burningpeachpuppy @scarlettsakura @divergent146 @upsteadlogic @malindacath @skyesthebomb @yezzyyae @redpool

Human trafficking cases wreck Omar. He doesn’t come across them often but when he does, it’s soul destroying.

It’s because you’re naturally empathetic, you tell him when he discusses it over dinner. You have strong protective instincts, seeing people going through something like that… it makes you feel powerless.

There’s something in that, he thinks as he lays beside you that night. He hasn’t been sleeping the couple of days. His head is filled with Julia, the fifteen-year-old girl he’s been trying to locate. He flits over the items in her bedroom, the one he’d searched through trying to get some clue as to her location.

It was still a little girl’s room at heart. Collages of her friends and family on the wall, her shelves lined with YA books about true love and meeting your prince. There had been fairy lights pinned up around her bed, her mother had left them on because she wanted Julia to be able to find her way home.

The sight of them glowing when he turned off the overhead light, it broke his heart.

It’s the next day that he finds Julia, broken and bleeding, wrapped in plastic tarps. She’s barely alive, crimson leaking from a gunshot wound in her chest, tears leaking down her cheeks. In that moment she looks every inch the child that she is, and he hates the man that has done this to her.

He can’t believe how light she is when he picks her up. She clings to him, whimpering, her breathing shallow. He can taste the copper on his tongue as he carries her to the ambulance outside. He climbs inside with her; he doesn’t want her to be alone. She’s scared, in pain.

When her hand slips into his, he’s taken aback by how small it is. Her skin is cold to the touch, her veins protruding from underneath her translucent skin. Her breaths are laboured, each one a coarse rasp. Her eyes are wild and roving, he’s seen this before and he prays to Allah that he’s wrong.

He doesn’t let go of her hand when grip slackens, not when the alarms go off or when her the light dies in her eyes. He can’t because he’s not ready to admit he’s failed, that he’s lost the young girl he was fighting for.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, his thumb tracing reassuring circle across the hollow of her wrist. “I’m so sorry.”

He’s still covered in Julia’s blood when he comes home that night. It stains his shirt, a bloody blossom marring the white fabric. You’re in the kitchen, washing up the dishes from the meal that’s simmering on the stove. You’re singing something under your breath, a tune he recognises from the radio. He finds himself lingering in the doorway because he can’t bring himself to speak right now, to bring this horror into the home you share. Your breath catches when you see him. Your gaze lowers to the crimson bloom, and he shakes his head.

“Julia’s.” He whispers, his voice no louder than a rasp.

“Omar…” You say and he starts to fall apart because he’s spent the entire day trying to keep his shit together and he just can’t anymore.

He buries his face into the curve of your neck, his arms wrapping around your form as he clasps you close. You can feel the tears soaking through your shirt as the first sob wracks him. You can feel the violence of it, the agony that eats him up inside and you wish with all of your heart that you could take the pain away.

“I couldn’t save her.” He whispers as he clings to you for dear life. “I tried Hanna, I tried so hard, but I just couldn’t save her.”

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repentant-areolas-blog · 6 years ago

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I’m so anxious. So worried. So scared. I get palpitations. I start sobbing because I can’t help it. I can’t fucking sleep. It gets worse every day.

I feel so lost. Because we don’t know for how long this will last. It’s so uncertain. I feel like I’m gambling, risking it.

I need someone to stand firm and be gentle to me at the same time. I need comfort. I’m tired of putting up with so many problems that arise.

Is this what it’s like to be a Wife? To worry? Without her Husband comforting her? I have been strong enough to face cheating, physical abuse and, lies and disrespect.

I’ve been strong putting up with him when he was jobless three times. I have been strong putting up with him when he lived across the border and it was hard for us to communicate or meet.

I’ve been strong and I have loved strongly.

But I’m running out of strength. And I’m so desperate for comfort and for someone to by MY strength. But all he does is throw negativity at me. I have been his emotional punching bag because he has no one else. Who’s going to be my support?

I’m running out of strength and the fact that I’m gambling now is making me run low on hope.

Ya Allah.

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