#ya I know it’s stupid but other autistic people know what I’m talking about lmao

[emthelibra]

Being back on tumblr is making me want to draw Zoya again. It’s been like 1 or 2 years since I’ve last drawn her </3. I need her to me my muse again

[echidnana]

hey logan ! i’m thinking of getting into re8, so here i am at the re8 expert’s door for any lore and headcanon’s you have for any of the characters/place settings (i’m fine with ‘spoilers’!) :]

OMG OMG JACK HELLO I AM SO HAPPY TO OBLIGE

i’m adding a cut because i started rambling so the post ended up being a bit long. i tried to organize all the ideas as best i could and made some smaller sections to make it easier to process

also, i wrote this operating on the assumption that this is your first re game. so i might go too in depth for some stuff that you might already know i just like talking about re

TO PREFACE: i haven’t played 8, and i’m not sure if i’ll ever be able to. i’ve watched a bunch of edited play throughs and am currently about 2/3 of the way thorough snapcube’s full play through!

ok so. in my opinion 8 is VERY different from a lot of the other resident evil games in terms of atmosphere/setting. while most of the games before had been very ‘zombie/virus/mad science’ feeling, this game is closer to a fantasy type vibe (although it is all explained by science).

just to give a brief synopsis- ethan winters is the protagonist. his main motive is to rescue his daughter, who was taken into this village that is overrun by monsters. the village is run by mother miranda, who’s sort of a deity to the people of the village. the rest of the land is divided up amongst the four lords. i’m order to save his daughter, ethan has to fight through each of the lords.

my favorite lords

my favorite lords are donna beneviento and karl heisenberg. i hc them both to be trans and autistic :) to be honest, i hc every single resident evil character to be trans lmao

anyways. donna beneviento. she’s the doll maker and her portion of the game is probably my favorite. she only speaks once in the game, and you only see her face once. she’s very reclusive and typically speaks through her dolls. i also personally think she’s the most compassionate of the lords, despite her section being one of the most horrifying. her abilities rely mostly on causing someone’s own mind to sort of turn on itself and feeds into the person’s fears. but yeah, i love her and hc her as autistic :)

karl heisenberg is the magneto dude lmao. i love his parts in the game because he feels very… genuinely unhinged. like he’s HILARIOUS but not really on purpose, he’s just being really showy and dramatic. i personally wasn’t a fan with how they ended his part on the story bc i want to see more of him lmao

ok also. she isn’t a lord, but i adore daniela dimitrescu. she’s one of the daughters of the Tall Vampire Lady and she’s TOTALLY unhinged. even though i have favorite parts of the game, i love all of it. i wasn’t expecting to care that much about the dimitrescu section of the game but honestly all of it was so enjoyable

ethan winters

ethan winters is probably my favorite playable character of resident evil because he’s so… i don’t wanna say stupid, but he’s a dumbass

he’s like a horror movie protagonist that is in the situation they’re in because they made a dumb decision. but i think that’s so funny, especially for resident evil. his character in 7 vs 8 is pretty much the same- his objective is always to protect his family, and i think that’s really good for resident evil as well. most of the past characters’ motives were taking down huge corporations or stopping the spread of a virus, but ethan’s is just to protect his family and get somewhere safe.

tie ins to other games

i figured i’d add a section about this since i love all of the re games so much!

so the first obvious one- chris redfield is a relatively main character in this. he’s the co-protagonist of the original resident evil, so he’s definitely still involved with plot lmao. he was 25 in the first game, so in re8, he’s nearing 50.

at the end of re7, ethan winters meets chris redfield after escaping the baker’s residence. chris was working with blue umbrella at the time I THINK i’m gonna be honest i don’t keep up with what organization he’s with because he switches around so many times. basically he takes ethan and his wife and move them to europe as a sort of witness protection program. i like to think chris became close with them and would go over for dinner

anyways in re8 he gets tangled up in the plot in pretty significant ways. he’s one of the ogs of re so it was definitely fun to see him fighting monsters well into his 40s

there’s a few references to other games throughout re8. my favorites are

- the duke (who is the shop keep) has a line where he says something along the lines of ‘what’re ya buying? heh, just something a friend of mine says.’ this is a reference to re4’s merchant, who would say that when you opened his inventory. i thought this was a really funny implication- that the duke and the merchant know each other.

- one of heisenberg’s lines refers to chris as a ‘boulder-punching asshole’ which is capcom making a joke about themselves. in resident evil 5, there’s a scene where chris redfield literally punches a boulder into an active volcano. it was memed a lot because it was such a ridiculous scene, so this line is capcom acknowledging it

general/setting

i think resident evil 8 did a good job being a great game but also keeping the core resident evil elements. like the plot’s connection to the overall re universe is dumb as hell but it feels very resident evil. personally i feel like it’s super similar to re4 in the sense that it takes the typical zombie genre but gives it a completely different setting or tone than you’d usually expect. like, castles in a zombie survival horror game is BRILLIANT and not something i’d ever expect.

i’m also a huge fan of the sort of ‘mutating into something that isn’t human’ trope and resident evil 8 has SO MUCH of that. all of the lords are basically infected by a parasite that affected them all in a different way. so heisenberg can control metal while donna causes hallucinations and shit.

———

ok i think that’s most of my thoughts on it… re8 is such a good game and even though the plot can be dumb and full of contradictions the campiness and seriousness is balanced near perfectly in re8. one of the issues some of the past re games had is they took themselves too seriously. re8 does a great job at not taking itself too seriously in order to be a fun game.

i hope this wasn’t too long! i love re8 to death and will always jump to talk abt it lol. ethan winters is one of my favorite re characters ever, and this game is full of great ethan moments. i hope you enjoy it!! it’s definitely a great experience regardless of if you care about the lord and connections to other games.

[lastinggaster]

Hello!

Not just another "I'll do something soon I promise" update post this time, I swear.

Something a little more in-depth. I wanna spill the beans on how I've been feeling lately now that I've mostly sorted out the thoughts in my head.

This is about this blog, and myself, and just like...the general future if what's going on here. It gets a bit personal, as a note.

I'll stick this under a read more so you don't get a text wall in your dash, but eh.

Here it is.

So, I made this blog at a pretty...low time in my life. I was...God, maybe 18? I'm not fully sure, i suck with numbers.

I had a flowey blog beforehand, but discovered Gaster by chance. Two other Gaster blogs that I know of were around at the time, one of which we don't talk about and the other being Ya Boy Curiosity, who's mun I'm actually still in contact with.

I've always liked codes and meta shit so I went "God yes, why not? Let's make a gaster blog"

I had a few guidelines for myself so that I wouldn't just end up dropping it like i usually did with rp blogs:

1: a unique muse. Design and personality wise. Most depictions of Gaster at that point were a kind handsome bastard in a suit or a funny little goop man.

2: I must be able to relate, or project. I needed a muse that I could summon up very easily. It's all well and good having characters I like the idea of, but it sucks when you realise you can't actually connect with your muse.

As such...I went with a short, skinny, kind of nasty looking little man with a horrible attitude.

I was a Very...angry person at the time. Never externally- I've always been fairly conscious about how i act around friends, but at the time, well.

I was living with my mother, who was in a very bad relationship. The dude was fuckin horrible to her, and in turn she took it out on me. She's away from him now and is...trying to improve a bit but like. She's where a lot of my issues stem from.

I had also only just been diagnosed as Autistic. I'd struggled a Lot in high school and was just. Generally furious that it had taken this long to figure out what the fuck was Wrong with me, why I was like That, why people seemingly just hated me for no clear reason...etc. we've all been through high school. You get it.

Anyways, I was just a little ball of rage at the time so I could very easily imprint on Eight.

As emotions changed I'd move on to create other muses- Cubesy was a big one for self projecting onto. Still is, even if I don't often play him as Gaster these days.

It's been over three years now. Three Goddamn years of running this thing. Things have been up and down-there were times when I wanted to close it all down cause nothing was happening but I couldn't...bring myself to do it. I'd become hellishly attached to the blog. It meant a lot for me. I'd met my closest friends via lastinggaster. I'd gone through huge changes in my life. I'd grown an actual real audience of people who were interested in my art and my stories and no matter how stupid batshit crazy my plotlines got people still stuck around.

It was precious to me. It wasn't just an rp/askblog, it was a monument to some of the most important times of growth in my life, and letting that go hurt far too much to bare, so I just...kept going. Kept it around. Constant apologies for not doing anything despite just not really feeling up to it anymore.

Things have changed, now.

I've grown a lot over three years. My mental state is so much better, my position in life is so much better, and...

I'm not so angry anymore.

I'm almost an entirely different person.

So as such, I don't have much muse for eight anymore. The dude is just a ball of rage and self hatred and I've managed to move so far past that, that making myself go back to it wasn't healthy.

So!

I'm left with choices. Two of them.

I can either...stop. I can "officially" close this whole thing down after three years and move on. I'll keep using these muses elsewhere but the whole Gaster thing ends here.

I don't...really want this option but I have a feeling it's still some of that sentiment clinging on that causes that, uh

The second option is to continue! Sort of!

I had an idea about resetting this blog before I went silent. Starting from scratch. A lot of the plot stuff on here has gone so far that anyone newer probably wouldn't have a God damn clue as to what's going on.

Eight is half dead at the moment in preparation for a reset. I have ideas for stories, I just need to figure out how I want to play this newer version of his muse.

The question is if I want to continue this for a fourth year, really...

...though to be honest, I kind of do, lmao.

...thanks for listening to my whole spiel. I wanted to get my cards on the table while I'm sound of mind.

If you actually got through all this, do let me know what you think I should do? Would you actually be interested in a fresh storyline?

Starting fresh?

If there's...actually anyone still out there, that is.

[trendercore-aesthetic]

I finally made an about me

It's more of an FAQ, but whatever. 

It’s a page on my blog, and it’s linked in my bio. Don’t feel like clicking on either of those? Here’s a link. Still not appealing? It’s under the cut too.

Who the FUCK am I?

Oh? You wanted to know more about me? Here are some details.

I’m Ryan

I’m 17

Gender: FTM

Sexuality: Panalterous Asexual (What this means - panromantic means attracted to all genders. Alterous means someone who can’t be described as neither being (entirely/completely) platonic nor romantic, & is an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being (at all or entirely) platonic &/or romantic)

Religion: Jewish

Race: I’m mixed as fuck, but the best way to describe it would be afrolatinx and native.

My hair: Blonde, because I bleached it. It’s naturally red though.

Other things: I’m autistic, and have eyes that barely allow me to drive (don’t feel like opening that can of worms)

What’s trendercore?

okay so trendercore is essentially the reclamation of the idea of the word ‘transtrender’ and surrounds the aesthetic of people commonly called ‘transtrenders.’ this usually means:

- bright colors

- pride (rainbows, flags, being excited/happy about your identity)

- soft things

- gender noncomformity

but really though you don’t have to do any of that stuff to be trendercore. trendercore has that as like a general aesthetic but really, all you need are two things:

1. The belief that you do not need dysphoria to be trans

2. The belief that policing other people’s identities and presentations is wrong

And there you go. You can trendercore. Trendercore is meant to be super accessible meaning you can pull it off anyway you feel comfortable. Personally, I find it really hard to float with gender nonconformity, so I just really rock the other stuff.

I know way before @uwumars made a whole fuckign guide about this. In fact, if I’m correct, Mars inventened trendercore.

How often do you post?

My queue is currently at 50 posts per day. I post in between there too. So…a lot?

Why is the title on your blog Captain Pottymouth?

Someone derailed one of my posts and proceeded to call me captain pottymouth because I swear. Fuck them. Who the fuck cares about swearing?

What do I use to alleviate my dysphoria/help in my transition?

I am, at my most basic level, a twink. Let’s talk my transition.

My height dysphoria (5’ 3" lmao), is, hilariously, my worst dysphoria. I use lifts. Specifically, these lifts right here: https://peecockproducts.com/peecock-height-increase-insole.html

On the other hand, I am d e s p e r a t e for top surgery, so this is the binder I use. it works pretty well: https://www.gc2b.co/products/nude-no-2-tank

Packers? Of course: https://www.toolshedtoys.com/stp-fitz-stp-fitz-20-stand-to-pee-packer-mr-softie.html

Closet? I’ll update this later with the clothes that I buy but H&M is amazing.

Wanna learn more about me or see asks?

Search ryanspeaks or ryan speaks on my blog. You’ll see it all.

Hey, I tagged you in something and you didn’t answer!

It’s probably because my notes are usually pretty crazy. It’s best that if you tagged me in something, that you also send an ask mentioning it. I’ll have to find it, and it might take a minute, but it’ll get handled.

You reblogged something I made. Can you take it down?

I have shitty eyes so I tend to miss DNIs. I’m super sorry if I did. PM me or put an ask in. I’ll remove it. No reasoning necessary, just send the post. Even if you just send your username I can remove it pretty quickly.

What is your DNI?

I like to think that if you read my bio, which has no DNI, you would already know if you weren’t welcome here. But since ya don’t:

Acephobes (yes that means you, ace exclusionists), arophobes (yes, that means you, aro exclusionists), biphobes and panphobes (that means you, bi and pan exclusionists), cis bootlickers (that means you, transmeds and truscum), selective allies (that means you, cishets who have decided to pick and choose who to support), pedophiles and pedophile apologists (that means you: MAPs, ageplayers, DDLG, and anyone who supports those communities), transmisogynists (that means you, TERFs, radfems, and anyone who uses their ideology), gay men fetishists (hello, fujoshi. get the fuck off my blog), lesbian fetishists (do i have to make it any more obvious?). Don’t bother if you’re a fascist (aka Trump supporters).

Hopefully that’s it. Don’t make me add more.

Is it worth saying that this doesn’t apply if I discourse with you? If I’m discoursing, interact at your own risk. It’s not my fault if you end up looking stupid.

Can I submit a post?

You can so long as you don’t participate in any of the above. Also make sure your username doesn’t include anything triggering like the r slur or the f slur. Pretty much anything from discourse to art is allowed