#y'all this moment was HAUNTING | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xxkissesforchanniexx · 5 months ago

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𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐞 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐭: 𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈

Pairing: demon!chan x fem!reader x demon!hyunjin Genre: SMUT NOTHING BUT IT aside from the tiny bit of plot Word count: 6.2k Warnings: Insomnia, lucid dreaming, demon!skz, sleep paralysis, possessive chan, jealous channie, jealous hyunjinnie, sin of pride Chan, sin of lust hyunjin, mentions of angel felix, aphrodisiacs kinda, overstimulation, dacryphilia, p in v, oral fem receiving, fingering, unprotected sex USE PROTECTION. Minho is very "scary", Changbin and Jeongin mentioned at the end >.> hyunjin is kind of a dick, i think that's all??

A/N: >.> I kinda went a little crazy... I hope y'all like it

Virtues forgotten dance in the mind. They linger on sleepless nights, bathing the purest rooms in red light as if it were iron to rust. Of humility and purity, in the lord we trust.

You stared around your room, putting down your phone and looking at your bedside clock. 2:47 AM it read. You weren't getting sleep tonight. Again.

You sighed and rolled over, pulling the blankets up over your head, shut the world out and sleep. Sleep did claim you after about ten minutes but it was a restless slumber, one that wouldn't do much to help you in the morning. It was a miracle you hadn't been laid off from work yet, always sleeping, always late, your work always looking like you didn't try.

You opened your eyes and looked around, you were no longer in your room, but a dark hallway, you walked down it staring at the walls. Who in their right mind put wood flooring for walls? Bright light was on your left and you shielded your eyes. What kind of moron puts lights in the w-

You stumbled cutting off your train of thought. You'd bumped your toe on something, your winced and rubbed your toe, looking back for what you hit.. a doorknob.

You stood, looking down. The person who built this place wasn't crazy, you were walking on walls like a spider almost.

You started walking again and then you heard a crackling surge of electricity before the light beside you burst. You shrieked in fear and jumped looking back as all the lights behind you shattered.

And then you saw it.

You saw them.

A pair of bright green eyes stared at you in the darkness.

You held your breath and stayed still. Maybe it couldn't see you.

Whatever had those eyes lunged for you. Quickly slimming the distance between you and it. You took off running the other way, as it grew closer and closer, light after light shattering before you could make out what it was.

You stepped on a door that was ajar and fell into the room, screaming as it dove in after you, the lights exploding, plunging you into darkness the only light its green eyes locked on you, growing closer and closer.

Hands wrapped around your throat as it finally closed the distance between you and you clawed at it in defense of yourself. Your nails throbbed in pain as they snagged on something and you tried to cry out.

As your vision blurred you saw a burst of light and the thing fell off you, you scrambled away and stepped out an open window in the darkness. Waking up with a scream.

You looked at your clock. it read 4:01 AM.

"You look rough." Your friend, Jaehwa said in the breakroom at work that day. "How many cups of coffee have you had?"

You racked your brain for a moment. "7-"

"That's enough." Soojin, your other friend took the cup from you. "Y/n. How long are you going to keep living like this?"

"Like what?" You look at your friends.

Jaehwa sighed. "Like you're being haunted by something."

You made a face.

"Maybe you should take a break," Soojin suggested. "Go out for drinks? Catch a movie? Stay home and sleep?"

You nodded. "I'll ask for time off next week I guess."

"You really need it." Jaehwa said, shaking his head.

"I'm going off next week so you might not be able to." A woman said behind you, stirring her coffee, "Someone's gotta write the story."

You returned to your desk, practically green with envy, and got back to work on your current article for the paper. But your fingers flying swiftly across your keyboard came to a halt. Your thought fogged. You felt like something was staring at you.

You felt vulnerable... Your breath picked up the pace and your eyes darted around for a moment. Then you saw it in the corner of your vision... A man with short, dark hair and piercing green eyes looking at you.

You almost shrieked.

Almost.

Instead, you sighed and threw paper over the divider between your cubicle and your other friend, Jake's.

"What was that for?!" he grumbled.

"Nothing." You shrugged feeling a bit safer now that there was someone else looking at you.

"You know.." The woman to your right leaned over and whispered very loudly. "If you're so scared.."

She could tell...?

"Write an article about the paranormal.." She nodded, fixing her big framed glasses and moving back to her cubicle.

You didn't say anything for a long moment. "Yeah maybe."

You got immersed in reading some interview record about a singer's affair and possible divorce when a paper ball smacked the back of your head, and you were pulled from the website you were reading on.

"Working yourself tired isn't any more healthy than overdosing on caffeine." Soojin grabbed you. "We're going for drinks, come with us."

"Like that's any more healthy." You rolled your eyes but let her drag you out.

In Jaehwa's car, another coworker, Joohyeong was singing loudly to the radio with Soojin.

"AH!" Jaehwa finally snapped and turned off the radio.

"Hey!" Joohyeong huffed.

"Turn it back on." Soojin reached to the front to turn it on and Jaehwa smacked hr and Joohyeong's hands away, only semi-paying attention to the road.

"Jae-" You started, as he came to an intersection.

"Lemme listen to the damn radio!" Joohyeong snapped.

"I will not listen to your horrendous voice." Jaehwa said.

The light at the intersection turned red.

"You're no fun!" Soojin grumbled as she reached from the back over the console for the radio.

The blare of a horn and the glaring light to your left made you scream. "Jaehwa!"

He whipped his head around and just as you thought you were dead the other car screeched to a halt, bumping the car.

You stared in shock for a moment...

"It's a miracle." Soojin breathed as the other driver reversed.

Jaehwa sighed. "Food?"

You opened your mouth to speak.

"Enjoy life now, worry about insurance later." He continued again and you relaxed into your seat.

You got to a small pizza place and looked around as Jaehwa ordered then sat to call his insurance company about the small dent in his car door. You closed your eyes for a brief moment trying to catch up on your thoughts, the blank darkness didn't last long. You saw a hallway a man sat in a chair, surrounded by red yarn. Like a spiderweb.

You stared at him for a moment and he tilted his head before pointing behind you. You turned and gasped as a man with light brown hair and furious red eyes raised a power drill and stared at you.

You took off running to the man in the string chamber down the hall but the man behind you was faster pouncing on you as you screamed. You hissed in pain as you landed awkwardly on your wrist. He turned you over and aimed to drive the revving power drill through your eye.

"Minho.." A sleepy voice said.

The man on top of you looked over his shoulder and you shoved him and sprinted. You crashed through the string and someone grabbed you and slammed you against the wall with such force it broke and you fell into darkness.

You opened your eyes with a gasp and grabbed your wrist, there was a dull aching there, Jaehwa, Joohyeong, and Soojin stared at you. You got up before any of them could speak and ran out of the restaurant, sprinting down the street and bumping into a very shady-looking man.

"Woah there." He grabbed your shoulders. "Calm down."

You tried to pull away. "I'm sorry-"

"I'm serious calm down, what's wrong?" He squeezed you a bit tighter and you tensed.

"Please let go of me." You tried to pull away.

"Where are you headed? Maybe I can take you there?"

"Please just let go." You pulled free and shoved him, backing up.

His eyes narrowed. "This is what I get for trying to help a senseless bitch." He grabbed for you and you put your arms up in defense of yourself. He gripped your face roughly almost choking you. "Stop being such a crybaby."

"Don't touch me!" You thrashed and tried to get away but he dragged you.

"You think you're so special, eh?!" He raised a hand to hit you.

You braced yourself for a blow... that.. never came. You opened your eyes and saw a man with dark hair and piercing eyes. A glint of violet in them making your heart race. The dark-haired man held your assailant's wrist.

"What?" Your attack fired at the man. "This your whore?" He shook your shoulder roughly.

"Release her." The man said.

"If I don't? You'll hit me, pretty boy?!"

The man tilted his head slightly. "You're quite cocky... Good for me."

Your eyes widened as his grip on the other man's wrist visibly tightened until you heard cracking. Your assailant screamed and crumbled to his knees.

"You litt-" he started.

"You don't fear death... do you?" The dark-haired man leaned down.

Your attacker's eyes widened and then he screamed in terror.

You stumbled back, looking between your attacker and the man.

The man finally released the writhing criminal and looked up, eyes meeting yours.

You held your breath for a brief second before you took off running.

By the time you got to bed, you were exhausted. Every muscle in your body ached and your head pounded. The moment you were situated your eyes drifted shut quickly. You opened them to a long dark hallway, the few lights that illuminated it were red. Your eyes widened slightly as you realized you weren't walking on the walls.

As you walked you noticed how quiet the place was, you could hear your own feet padding softly on the wood floor. You peeked into a room, seeing nothing but pitch black, then a blaring white light came on, a chandelier of circular lights and with strange images on the walls, you walked in and looked around the room for a moment before the lights in the hallway burst. You froze, staring at the door like a deer in headlights. And there he stood. The man who'd saved you earlier, albeit a bit different.

His hair was straighter a soft gingery color, and he wore all white. You could've said it wasn't him but there was the unmistakable glint of violet in his eye.

He tilted his head, staring at you. "You shouldn't be here."

You held your breath for a moment.

"You did a lot of screaming earlier. It's a little too quiet now don't you think?" He stepped into the room, his muscles flexed as he dragged the chains in after him, and the door slammed shut. "Well, aren't you going to thank your savior?"

"Savior..." You stared up at him. "What even are you, where am I-"

He reached out and hesitated. "Seungmin and Minho said the angel lingers around you.." he leaned in close, breath against your ear. "Where is he?"

"I don't know who you're talking about." You backed up, tensing as you felt a wall behind you.

"Godforsaken cun-" He looked back at you, stopping himself. "You haven't seen him yet?"

"I don't even know who you're talking about." You started rambling. "I swear I've never seen any angel or anything. I don't even know how I'm here or why. I-" You shrieked as his hand slammed against the wall beside your head.

"Answer the question you're asked." he said, eyes narrowing.

"No... I haven't seen him." You swallowed.

"Good." He grabbed your face gently, thumb rubbing over something.

You made a face.

"That man left a bruise.." he muttered.

"Oh- I-"

He rubbed the mark gently and smiled. "All gone."

You pulled away and cupped the side of your face, rubbing your jaw slightly. "Thank you..."

He raised a brow, smiling gently at you.

"For saving me." You shrank slightly under his gaze. Fear. You should feel fear. You should cower at whatever this man was but no, as he leaned closer your heart raced not out of utter terror. But something else..

His lips met yours gently. You stiffened for a brief moment before relaxing as his hand moved to cup your face, before his fingers entangled in your hair and he forced your body impossibly closer, tongue prodding for entry to your mouth and you granted him it. His full being shrouding your mind in dark clouds as he fogged your senses. His lips broke away from yours and kissed your jaw gently before you felt something sharp rake across your neck.

Your eyes widened but he sank his fangs in. You gasped. Was he a blood sucker? A vampire? EW!

He pulled away slowly and you grabbed your neck the area throbbed.

"What did you-" You started.

"Before anything else." His voice was in your head and you stared in fear. "You are mine."

You woke with a gasp and grabbed your neck. The area throbbing. You turned on your lamp and looked at yourself in the mirror, eyes going wide at the sight of a cross seated on a bruise on your neck.

You tried hiding the mark on your neck the following day with makeup. After you were positive it was hidden you went to work, only to be greeted by a "Y/N GOT A TATTOO!?"

You cringed. "Yeah..." What the fuck... I covered it. I know I covered it.

"She must've gone to the liquor store without us." Joohyeong sighed. "Got drunk and made a mistake."

"Yeah." You lied through your teeth as you sat.

"You know..." The woman in the cubicle beside you said, "It's not a bad look..."

You looked at her. "Thanks." You smiled tightly and turned to your work.

After an hour of diligent work, you went to the break room. You got hot water in a mug, about to make yourself a cup of instant coffee when you remembered what Soojin said and you made grabs for the tea instead.

As you opened the cabinet, a bit roughly, you reached in for the tea bag and the cabinet door swung back to your hand you were about to pull back to try and rescue your hand from the impending blow but the door stopped.

You stared at it for a moment, poking it. The door swung back gently. Your brows furrowed and you got the tea and turned to the mug, you opened the tea bag and set it into the water. When you moved to grab the cup, your hand bumped the counter and you retracted it in pain just as the scalding hot tea splashed onto the counter.

You blinked slowly then the memory hit you like a freight train. "Seungmin and Minho said the angel lingers around you.."

"Talk about a guardian angel." You hummed and cleaned up, grabbing the now much cooler mug and going to your desk.

Hyunjin made a face. Here I am protecting you and you compare me to that angel bastard...

You went home and stared at the mirror. The mark on your neck was very noticeable even if you covered it in makeup it seemed to resurface on your skin. You got in bed and stared at the ceiling. What if you ended up there again... Your eyes drifted shut after a while and for the first time in a long time, you dreamed a good dream. You were lying in a flower field, butterflies fluttering around under the sun as birds sang.

You turned and smiled at a blonde haired man next to you, his innocent smile filling you with such warmth as his lips moved. But you couldn't hear him. You looked back at the sky and reached your hand up.

The man beside you grabbed you gently, brows furrowing as he stared at you... at your neck and his eyes flicked up and met yours. He reached and pressed his hand to it pulling away with a pained expression.

Then you fell through the ground and everything became loud. You fell through the darkness grabbing for something, anything. Why weren't you waking up, usually you woke up, what was wrong?! You did grab something, you stared at the man. The one who'd marked you.

"You-" You started but he pulled you up with such force you stumbled as you landed, falling into his chest.

"Didn't I tell you you're mine?" He looked down at you.

You pulled back and pointed a finger at him. "I don't even know you! I don't know what you did to me but undo it!"

He blinked and raised a brow. "Did the angel give you the mouth to speak to me like that?"

"What angel!?" You shouted.

He grabbed you and pulled a flower from your hair. "You saw him."

You opened your mouth then closed it. "Who? Who are you? What is this!?"

He sighed and sat at a big desk, staring at you from his leather chair. "Come here."

You stayed where you were.

"I said 'Come here.'" He said lowly.

You walked to him. "What the fuck-" You hadn't wanted to move.

He hummed softly and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. "I wouldn't get too angry, you might wake Minho." He rubbed your thigh and gave it a soft squeeze.

"That doesn't tell me who you are." You stared at him.

"My name is Chan. I am as kind as you will ever get here." He said, moving a finger and opening a book on the desk "You're a very proud woman. Easily scared but proud."

You stared at him. "What are you?"

"Now you're asking the right questions." He smiled at you, squeezing your side gently. "I am the oldest of 8 brothers, Chan, sin of pride. At your service."

You blinked slowly. "I'm dreaming."

"Are you?" A soft voice said in your ear.

You jumped and Chan held you tighter.

"Hyunjin." he turned to the long haired man. "Don't scare her."

Hyunjin stared at you. "I'll do more than that." He smirked and turned to Chan's shelf. "She looks cute scared."

"Excuse me?!" You huffed loudly.

"Chan you see she's bound to get killed." Hyunjin hummed. "Let me have her."

Chan had a blank expression. "Who's going to kill her?"

"Minho is going to find her with how often she's showing us her rage. Just imagine how he'd tear her to pieces or feed her to the dogs."

"Hyunjin!" Chan shouted.

You stiffened slightly in fear, a man stood at the door. The man who had the power drill, whose eyes were an enraged red color.

"Minho." Chan said, looking at him.

You held your breath for a moment. The moment didn't last long as a trident spiraled straight at Hyunjin who shrieked as you covered your eyes, telling yourself it was a dream.

It's all a dream.

You woke up with a start, eyes flicking around in fear.

Sleep didn't come to you much after that. It wasn't that you ever fell asleep, you were too scared. At a company dinner later that week you met Juwon, he was very nice and seemed to understand your sleep problems.

"I know it's really unconventional, but have you tried running around your house? It's very tiring."

You giggled. "No, I haven't, I'll think about it though."

Juwon invited you out for drinks and he was a bit cute, but somewhere between getting shit-faced and falling asleep, you ended up in his bed. Of course, you got knocked out right after but the feeling of being well rested despite the soreness between your legs the next morning put a pep in your step the next day. Friday. Finally...

"That wasn't very nice of you." A voice whispered into your ear as you sipped your coffee in the break room.

You jumped, turning to see none other than Hyunjin, poking at the coffee machine. "How are you-"

"Shh." he smiled, "They might think you're crazy."

You pursed your lips as he leaned in close.

"I didn't think Chan's little human was such a slut." He said lowly.

Your brows furrowed. "You aren't real-"

Hyunjin rested his hands on either side of the counter, caging you in. "I'm very real, pretty." He said, pink eyes seeming to glow.

"How-"

Hyunjin kissed you. Your eyes widened and he pulled away. "It's not fair that he claimed you first... You summoned me." Hyunjin muttered.

You stared at him. What did he mean you summoned him?

Hyunjin grabbed your waist and lifted you onto the counter. "What I'd do.. If I had you..." Hyunjin muttered. Your eyes met and he smiled gently, "I'd worship you.." His hand moved between your legs.

There was something about his eyes that wouldn't let you look away. Something about his beautiful rose-colored eyes. It had you in an anaconda's grip. Your hand flew to cover your mouth as you moaned, Hyunjin was rubbing gently at your clit. When had he gotten your pants off... How had you let him...

"I want to hear you, y/n.." he muttered, lifting his finger to examine it before slipping it back into you.

You moaned and almost hit your head on the cabinet, Hyunjin grabbed you and pulled you to him. You held onto his shoulders tightly, whimpering and gasping as his finger moved in and out of you quickly before he added a second and a third.

He pulled back and kissed you hard, tongue dancing with yours as his taste filled your mouth. He curled his fingers against your g-spot and you moaned into his mouth.

You felt the knot in your gut tightening, dangerously close to breaking. You moaned louder, tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

"Cum for me.." he breathed against your lips.

You came, hard, it was an earth shattering orgasm the made your head go blank for a moment. He pulled away with a satisfied smirk and you whimpered, legs weak, trying to hold yourself up against the counter. You looked up and Hyunjin was gone.

But as you collected yourself and left the break room a voice in your head told you, "You've already sold your soul."

You fell asleep the moment you hit your bed that night, this was exhausting, trying to stay up purely out of the fear that you might not see Chan or Hyunjin but one of the other monsters haunting your dreams was becoming unbearable. You looked at your phone, 10:46 PM. You set it down and tried to sleep, expecting to barely get any, as usual. Then you felt it. The room felt warmer somehow.

You opened your eyes to a room bathed in a soft yellow glow, you looked around for a moment. A small fireplace on one wall and a desk to the left. You turned around and saw a plush bed, you walked over to it, fingertips gently grazing the soft sheets.

"You had fun today.." Chan muttered in your ear.

You jumped in fear. "Don't do that!"

"Says the person in my room without my permission." he huffed. You noticed then, his chest was partially exposed, more than half the buttons undone.

"You act like I chose to appear here." You rolled your eyes.

"The same way you chose to sleep with that human," he said, expression blank.

You didn't speak for a moment. "I was drunk.." You wondered why he hadn't mentioned anything about what Hyunjin had done.

"You're worse than Changbin.." He muttered under his breath.

"How prideful are you really if it bothers you? You must feel threatened." You shot before you could stop yourself.

Chan turned slowly, staring at you. "Repeat that?"

You didn't.

Chan walked towards you, gaze fixated on yours as you stumbled, the backs of your knees hitting the bed lightly. You fell back onto the plush bedding and Chan stared at you, pupils dilating as he took you in.

"He made you feel good?" He raised a brow.

You blinked. "I-"

"Answer." He leaned down.

"Yes.." You breathed.

Chan bit his lip and sighed deeply. "What did I tell you..."

"I belong to you." Your heart was racing, curse this demon with his beautiful face.

"Are you proud of yourself?" He traced a line down your pajama clad body and stopped at your hip.

You didn't know how to answer that.

He tilted his head, "Cat got your tongue?"

You swallowed.

"Move up." He said.

You did as you were told and scurried up the bed, staring at Chan as he climbed onto the bed, it dipped with his weight as he grew closer to you. "Chan-" You started but he pounced on you, pinning you beneath his weight.

"Did I say you could talk?"

Your stomach flipped. "No.."

He groaned and kissed you, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth tasting you. You whimpered into the kiss and grabbed the wrist of the hand he had on your face. His tongue clashed with you and you relaxed, yielding to him.

He pulled away, eyes wide for a moment as if mesmerized before he moved down and dragged your pants and panties off your legs. "He touched you here?"

You stiffened as his finger brushed over your clit, he stared at your womanhood, eyes unmoving. You thought he had no reaction, nothing to say at all to you until your gaze drifted to his crotch and you saw the impressive tent in his pants. A dull ache thrummed between your thighs and you looked up, squeaking slightly at the sight of a smirk on his face.

"You like what you see?" He teased.

"You-"

His finger found your clit again and you moaned. "Who do you belong to?"

"You.." You whined.

"Good girl." He dragged his middle finger over your folds collecting your slick. He stared at it for a brief moment before slipping his finger into you.

You gasped, bucking up slightly.

He let out a breath before his thumb joined the slow drag of his finger.

"Chan!" You whined, trying to move your hips for a faster pace.

"No, no." He tutted, holding you down by the hip and plunging his finger into you only a bit faster.

You squirmed, shuffling your hips a bit to take more of his finger into you. "Please!"

"Please what?" Chan tilted his head, that smirk on his face getting to your head.

"Fuck me.." You relented softly.

"What was that?" Chan hummed, finger still dipping into you with languid thrusts.

"F-fuck me!" You said louder this time, eyes pleading.

"Oh... Poor girl..." Chan reached his other hand to caress your face, it was a gentle action as if that same hand hadn't left bruises on your hip from how tightly he held you.

"Please.." You begged.

Chan let his head fall back before rolling it back to look at you. "How could I refuse you.." He rasped before drawing out his finger and shoving in a second.

You wailed and bucked, he smirked as his thumb found its way to your nub, moving over it in quick swipes and figure 8 motions over and over as his fingers fucked into you faster.

Your cries bounced off the walls and you feared for a brief moment, you'd be heard. Thighs shaking, pussy walls fluttering, you could feel the coil tightening in your abdomen. Your moans and pleas grow in pitch at your impending orgasm.

And then he pulled away.

"WHY!?" You sobbed.

"Don't worry about the others," Chan muttered, staring at the slick on his fingers. "They'll get their turn." He licked his fingers, tasting you and moaning softly before pressing them to your lips.

Your cheeks went redder if that was possible.

"Open." He ordered.

You did and he pressed his fingers to your tongue. "Suck."

You got wetter as you followed his command, your disrupted orgasm building again when he wasn't even touching you.

He smiled and shrugged off his shirt before lifting your legs. You gasped as he dragged you partially onto his lap, your heat level with his plump lips. "Did that human bastard touch you like this?" He breathed against your cunt.

Your walls fluttered helplessly around nothing. "No-"

Chan raised a brow.

"N-No.." You stammered.

"Has anyone?" He questioned, gaze darkening.

"No." You panted.

"Good.." His tongue slipped out giving your pussy a tentative lick before releasing a shaky breath into your heat.

Your cunt throbbed and you whimpered. Chan licked a big stripe of your pussy, tongue pressing flat against your opening and thinning to flick at your clit. You moaned and squirmed but he held your hips tightly tongue pushing between your folds as his finger rubbed at your clit. You felt the knot in your belly tightening again, you moaned louder, begging him not to stop and as if on cue. He stopped.

"Please!" You sobbed.

He pulled back after a moment staring at your womanhood slick with your essence and his saliva before gathering saliva in his mouth and spitting on your hole.

You tensed slightly at the impact, he rubbed three fingers against your pussy before sinking them into you and curling them to find your g-spot.

Your body jerked and he smiled, whispering. "Found you."

You gasped as he pulled away letting your body fall back flat against the bed, he spread his fingers every now and then stretching you.

"You like that?" He asked as he leaned over you, fingering you roughly.

You gasped and moaned, "Please please!"

"You wanna cum?" He asked, fingers losing rhythm, every few moments slowing.

"Ye, I want to cum Chan please!" You sobbed.

"Ohh. My poor baby." Chan cooed as your pussy clenched tightly around his fingers. He pulled his fingers out and slapped your pussy, not hard enough to hurt, but just enough to send a jolt of pleasure up your spine.

"Please Chan." You sniffed, tears filling your eyes.

"Fuck..." Chan pushed his fingers into you, his thumb working at your clit. "Don't cry baby." He said, resisting the shit eating grin that wanted to come to his face.

You mewled as his pace became furious and uneven, and as the pressure built in your abdomen again you begged, "Channie please, please let me cum."

Chan's eyes met yours and he leaned down, "I'm going to make you cum... This is my pussy eh?"

"Yes, yours!" You moaned.

"Doesn't matter who's in it, you'll come back to me, because you belong to me!"

You nodded, brain fogging and pussy clenching.

"Say it." He grabbed your face. "Say it!"

"Yours I'm yours!" You screamed as the band in your belly finally broke and you came hard, eyes rolling back as you let out a broken sob, Chan kept fingering you, stretching your orgasm thin. "Too much, Chan oh god!"

"Too much yet your pussy is still taking my fingers so greedily." He taunted, fingers slowing to a deep drag between your walls.

You trembled, panting and trying to collect your mind.

"That human can't make you cum like that can he?" Chan asked, pulling his fingers out of you.

You shook your head, dazed.

"Glad you know, I might just ruin you for anyone else." Chan pulled off his pants and boxers, exposing his thick length.

Your eyes widened slightly. "I-" Of course, you'd stare, no wonder he'd spent so much time prepping you, he was big. Big enough to make your pussy clench on nothing while your stomach flipped. No wonder he was the sin of pride... he has something to be proud about alright.

Chan smirked and got between your legs, taking hold of his manhood and slapping it against your sensitive clit, huffing a small laugh at the whimper you let out. "Cute.." He breathed, rubbing his length against you. Then he lined himself up and sank into you, brows furrowing.

You gripped his muscular arms, nails digging into his perfect skin as he split you open, going in deeper and deeper, slowly. The stretch was a lot, you panted and bit your lip, Chan's eyes were fixated on the way your pussy gave way to his length, his tip met your cervix and you gasped. He held himself there for a moment, letting out a breathy moan before pulling out slowly, letting out a low almost growling moan. He lammed back into you, knocking the air from your lungs.

His body pinned yours to the bed, rutting into you over and over as your moans filled the room, the bed creaking under the force of his thrusts. His lips hovered over yours, breath mingling as your eyes met, your walls clenched at the intimacy of it. Chan smirked and kissed you, tongue roaming your mouth and tasting every part of you. A grunt or groan responding to your moans and whimpers.

He pulled back and grabbed your shirt, lifting it over your breasts, to watch the way they bounced with every thrust. Your hands reached down wandering helplessly, aimlessly as you tried to get your bearings. Chan clouded your senses, completely fogging your mind, all you could think about was how his dick stretched you, the way he bruised your cervix, fucking into you mercilessly.

"Feels good baby?" He asked, grabbing your arms and pulling you into his thrusts.

You couldn't make a sentence, brain was completely turned to mush by the man- demon above you.

"Look at you..." He grunted. "All dumb on my cock."

You couldn't keep your eyes open, it was too much, you felt the pressure building again and you clenched your fists in Chan's grip.

"Fuck-" Chan grunted and you opened your eyes looking down, you moaned as he pushed in completely, gaze glued to the way your tummy bulged slightly with every thrust. His free hand roamed over your tummy before pushing down gently.

You moaned loudly and your walls clamped down in an orgasm that knocked your brain off the rails. Your fluids coating his lower abdomen and cock. You let out a choked sob as Chan kept pounding into you.

"It's too much!" You moaned.

"Take it." He growled.

Your eyes widened as he pinned your hands above your head, not letting you recover from your orgasm as his cock hit you deep. "CHAN!"

"I'm going to put a baby in you," he drawled, almost drunk. "You want me to fuck my seed into you?"

You moaned and couldn't figure out how to respond.

"I'm going to fill you with my seed, make you a mommy." He grunted.

Your pussy clenched hard, and Chan came hard inside you, pelvis meeting yours as he released rope after rope of his seed into you, letting out a stifled whimper. His climax pushed you over the edge and you spasmed, tears clouding your vision.

Chan pulled out, releasing your wrists, and stared at you laying there, pussy clenching around nothing. He adored the sight of you ruined, by him... he wanted to do it again but he restrained himself. yet as your legs trembled he stared with wide eyes at your pussy leaking his seed.

You gasped as he flipped you onto your belly and lifted your ass, pushing your shoulders down, making you arch your back. He gave your butt a sharp slap then gripped the flesh. He took his cock in his hand and collected his cum on the tip. "Don't waste my seed.." he said lowly before shoving his cock into you, hips smacking against your ass.

You moaned into the pillow, gripping the sheets as he pushed his seed deep into you. Chan groaned at the way your backside jiggled from the impact of his pelvis, eyes watching intently as your pussy swallowed his cock. He leaned forward grabbing the headboard and grunting as he fucked into you harder. You came quickly, sobbing and babbling into the pillow from overstimulation. Chan kept rutting into you, you could feel every pulse and throb of his cock before he came inside you again. Groaning as your cunt squeezed the life out of him. He fell onto your teeth latching onto your shoulder to muffle the strangled whine that escaped his throat. You lay there panting and trembling as he pulled out.

You felt the bed dip as Chan moved, getting up to go somewhere. You hadn't been expecting much from a demon. The demon of pride no less, he didn't time for a human like y-

You felt the bed dip as Chan returned, cleaning you with a damp cloth. Your heart fluttered.

He left again for a moment before coming back and hugging you to his chest. "You're mine." He muttered against your hair.

You were quiet for a long moment before you whispered, "... before anything else."

When you woke up, your heart stopped. It was still dark out. But you couldn't move a muscle. And then you saw it in the corner of your vision... a pair of bright golden eyes staring at you. Closer to your door, the shadow of a shorter muscular looking man.

"Jeongin," a gravelly voice said, "I can't believe Chan kept this all for himself."

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 18 days ago

Text

Chapter 1: I Need You Now But I Don't Know You Yet

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!Reader, Reader POV

Summary: With a birthday printed on your wrist that happened over a hundred years ago, you always thought that you were cursed to never meet your soulmate. But when you finally meet the man that's supposed to be the other half of your soul, you wonder if the stars were wrong, and wonder how this man was meant for you. Reader is Hughie's sister, is not a supe, and is a Literature Professor that gets dragged into the middle of things. This fic takes place in an AU set loosely after Season 3 and does deviate from the plot of The Boys

Tropes: Soulmate AU, Little bit of Grumpy and Sunshine, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy, Jealous Ben/Soldier Boy

Warnings: Self deprecating thoughts, Little bit sad, Cursing, Mentions of drinking, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Death, Loneliness, Longing, Basically the reader just wants to be loved, Reader wears glasses?, Soldier Boy might be a little OOC.

Word Count: 6.3K

Song Inspiration For Chapter: IDK You Yet (Title of chapter based on song) Y'all should listen to this song because it fits so well!

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue Is in First Person And Is In Italics

A/N: Guys you have no idea how excited I am about this story! It's already shaking up to have a TON of my usual angst, but I'm not surprised.😅 I'm also a little disappointed. I read a soulmate AU fic forever ago for Joel Miller where the birthday was printed on the reader's arm and I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called or find it. If y'all know what it is, please let me know. I'd love to read it again and give the writer a little bit of credit for inspiration. ❤️

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

January 24, 1919

The date on your right wrist haunted you, the bold black numbers mocking from the moment you learned what they meant. It had to be a celestial mistake, a misprint, something wrong in the stars that shone so brightly over others, but dulled above your head.

Sometimes you thought you were cursed, that some mystical being before your birth marked you, scarred you, and made you carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders.

That whoever it was made you different on purpose and you hoped one day you understood what that purpose was.

You'd never met someone born with the same dilemma, to be saddled with a soulmate that was born over 100 years ago, and yet here you were.

You'd heard it all growing up, the hushed whispered "freak" from your schoolmates, the odd looks from your neighbors, the pitying frowns of your parents who had known each other since pre-k, and the hug from your older brother as he whispered the familiar phrase “it‘ll be okay" to soothe you.

But you always wondered…

When would it be okay?

You watched all your friends find their happy endings with their soulmates, the birth years printed on their wrists at least within the same few decades, but not you.

You were alone, different, cursed.

The date printed on your wrist made you different, because no one else had a soulmate that was born so far in the past.

Your soulmate's birthday brushed on your skin only brought a wave of disappointment every time you saw it, because what the hell did it mean? 1919? That meant that your soulmate would be over 100 years old when you met him, whoever it was.

If you even met him.

No one lives that long. My soulmate should be long dead. He can't still be alive. Can he?

Each year that passed was like another nail in the coffin, but you celebrated the birthday of your supposed soulmate with a cupcake and a beer, locked away in your apartment to shut out the jeers of those who knew your particular dilemma. And each year when you blew out the candle you wished that it would be the year you met him, but now you weren't sure it would ever happen.

Because it was impossible.

You didn't understand why you were different, why you were chosen to have a soulmate that was long dead. Maybe it was true, maybe you were born late, born under the wrong sign, or maybe you really were cursed.

You'd heard the stories of people who never found their soulmates, urban legends really, but it didn't make you feel any better. The stories of people who wasted away to nothing, driven to the point of insanity because they never found the other half of their soul, alone for as long as they could stand it before they finally crumbled to dust.

You refused to be like them, turning to books for solace and hoping to escape. Slipping into the pages and into other worlds where people found their other half to leave the loneliness that haunted you behind.

And in that solace your found your true love, literature. It wove around you and brought you peace in a world where you felt lost and different.

When you moved away from the small town you grew up in, you got a job as a Literature professor, reading the great works of others, while trying to forget about the date on your wrist and the soulmate you longed for each day.

It was incredibly lonely to think that you'd live your whole life with only one half of your soul.

Every time you opened a book from the era your soulmate was supposed to be born in you wondered if he had read it, wondered what it was like to live in that time, and imagined what it would have been like to be there with him.

Each day you covered up the date on your wrist with a splash of foundation and playfully laughed it off whenever someone asked you if you'd found your soulmate yet. All the while spending year after year fading just a little bit more as you lost the last pieces of hope that you'd ever meet him.

One Year Ago

You were running late. Frankly you were always running late, but in the city that never sleeps it was to be expected.

It was supposed to be a big day. You had about a hundred papers to grade, a test to proctor, and three lectures to give, but you couldn't complain about your job, you loved it. Loved the groans of your students whenever you announced a test or an essay, loved the soft evenings where you read papers with a cup of tea and learned what in the assigned text was special to your students, and loved to teach from the books that had become home to you, the books that tried to heal your wounded heart.

But today something was different.

Something nagged at the back of your mind, as if you had forgotten that something else was supposed to happen today.

Haircut? No that's not it.

You think as you walk to the large wooden desk in your living room/bedroom. It was technically a dining room table, breakfast table, and your desk, but you'd loved it since the moment you found it tucked into a corner of an antique store in Brooklyn.

Your small studio apartment was quaint, the bedroom and living room divided by a large mid-century wooden screen that you had bought for twenty bucks at a thrift store the weekend you moved into your apartment five years ago. The living room only housed a plump cream colored couch that faced out the window towards the living room window that gave you a spectacular view of the alley between your apartment building and the next. Sometimes you got to watch the couple in the apartment across from you having a terrific fight and then got a front row seat to the loud make-up sex they had almost immediately after.

Large stacks of books dominated every wall stretching up as high up to the ceiling as they could reach, some were pressed against the exposed brick walls, others serving as the base for the coffee table you’d made with a vintage window, and of course there was one stack that towered high above your bed on top of your bedside table. You didn't own a tv, not when you spent most of your time reading.

Being a English professor meant that you could never have too many books not when they were like old friends that pulled you in whenever you opened their yellowing pages.

Meeting with the head of the English department? You bite the inside of your cheek as you shove your notebook, planner, pencil case, and laptop into your leather messenger bag. No, that's on Thursday.

You'd been working on a research paper that you hoped to publish about the Modern Period of Literature in America, but the head of the English Department wanted to see how much you'd done. In all honesty the only reason why you'd started studying the Modern Period of literature was because it was supposedly the time period in which your soulmate grew up and you thought that it would give you some insight into what his life was like.

And despite your being an expert on that time period, the head of the English Department did not share your enthusiasm for it. The only thing the head of the English Department had any enthusiasm for was his self-published book of erotic poetry and staring at your legs for too long while making subtle attempts for you to sleep with him even though he was married.

You fight the wave of revulsion with the memory of the last time you had a meeting with him and give yourself a once over in the mirror hanging on the bathroom door that faces in to your living room. You looked the way that you always did, maybe a little more frantic than usual, but that was expected given the fact that you were running late.

Today you had decided to wear your favorite dark green chunky sweater that you'd knitted yourself, a dark gray argyle midi-skirt, chestnut brown ankle high-heeled leather boots, and your traditional pair of circular black-rimmed glasses.

It's going to be a good day. You smile at your reflection. Yeah, if I could remember whatever the hell it is I've forgotten.

You roll your eyes and grab a bagel from the bag on the counter.

No time to toast it.

You think mournfully before shoving it between your teeth as you run out the door, slamming it behind you so hard that it rattles the watercolor botanical framed prints on the inside wall of the apartment.

"Late again?" Your neighbor, Mrs. Charleson, asks opening the cheerful yellow door of her apartment.

She was wearing her traditional pink cat eye glasses and had her wavy gray hair pushed back by a floral headband. When you'd moved in five years ago, she had brought over some cinnamon swirl muffins and a pot of blueberry tea. She'd just lost her own soulmate and husband of sixty-five years and was looking for a friend about as much as you were.

And although she had about eighty cats, all of which who were named after literary figures (your own cat was named Heathcliff), and often smelled like mothballs, you enjoyed spending time with her. She knew about your dilemma and didn't judge you for it. She didn't throw you a pitying look or make outrageous comments about why you'd been chosen to never meet your soulmate. If anything she acted like the way you thought your mother always should but never did. Not with judgement as your mother did, but with concern and love.

"Always." You shout back, muffled around the sesame seed bagel, stamping your foot to get your boot in the right position.

"Tea later?"

"Mhmm."

"Get some earl gray macaroons!"

You make it down the stairs successfully without falling, before throwing yourself against the door that leads into the black and white tiled lobby. Your high heeled boots clack loudly against the floor and you step out onto the crowded sidewalks of the early morning.

Fall was just beginning in the city, your favorite season. The leaves in Central Park were turning reddish brown and yellow and there was a wonderful chill that swept through the crowded streets.

You wove through the people, walking in the direction of NYU and looking down at the antique wristwatch perched on your left wrist to confirm what you already knew- that you were going to be late for your 8:00 am lecture on 20th Century American Romantics.

Shit.

The city is lively for a Monday morning. The chatter of people on phones, the buzz of traffic, the high pitched screech of horns, and the smells of the city wafted over you. It was so different from the small town you grew up in, but you loved being here. Here no one knew you, no one judged you, no one muttered something under their breath about you, and no one grabbed their children and crossed the street as if you were contagious.

You felt free.

You round the corner still looking down at your watch, weaving in and out of the foot traffic the best you can, when someone bumps into your shoulder. Whoever hit you was solid, broad, and much taller than you. The bagel drops from your mouth as you jostle from the bump, and you let out a low groan.

There goes my breakfast.

You look up prepared to curse out the offender when you stop. Whoever it was hadn't stopped moving, but you catch a flash of his bright green eyes as he passes, meeting yours for only a moment.

But that moment seems to last a lifetime.

He was tall with wild dark brown hair so long it touched his shoulders and a scraggly beard that fell over his chest almost to his collarbones. He looked dirty, almost worn, and was wearing a faded maroon track suit that had some writing on the sleeve in another language that you couldn't place. But his eyes were a brilliant green, so beautiful that they took your breath away.

As soon as his eyes meet yours, your skin hums, body lightening, warmth unfurling like the petals of a flower in the center of your chest curling outward reaching for the sun above. All sounds of the city vanish, leaving you only with the manic thud of your heart. Everything in your body turns towards the man, cells vibrating, reaching out, wanting more, begging you to grab him and hold him close. Electricity pulses and dances along your skin making your hair stand on end and goosebumps erupt along your flesh.

The birthday inscribed by the stars on your wrist sears against your skin like a brand beneath the foundation you smeared over it this morning. You look at him as if seeing for the first time, as if the past years of your life have been colorless, as if you'd been living in a cave for centuries and he's your first glimpse of sunlight, and as if you'd never seen the stars and he's the midnight sky.

You'd never felt any of this before.

The man's eyes widen as he looks at you, people passing between the two of you in a faceless blur, and you wonder if he feels it too.

He has to…

But the man shakes his head and turns his back on you continuing on his path down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, adjusting the strap of the bag on his shoulder as he goes.

"Wait-" You start to say, but your phone rings loudly in your pocket breaking the spell, and as you look down to retrieve it, you lose the man in the crowd.

What the hell just happened?

The rest of your day is chaotic, almost a blur, your body still humming from seeing that man on the street, wrist aching where the birthdate on your wrist burned against your flesh so hot that it seared through the foundation you brushed meticulously over the skin this morning to cover it up. It was no longer black, but flashed a brilliant gold with every shift of your wrist in the light as you moved your arm when teaching, peeking out beneath the sleeve of your sweater. Every flash distracted you from your lecture. Even your TA, Tate, who sat in the front row of your class began to notice how often you lost your train of thought.

You barely got through your 8:00 am lecture, stumbled through you 9:00 and 10:15, and canceled your 2:00 class much to the chagrin of your students who were expecting a test.

When Tate finally asked you if you're feeling alright, you wave a hand and tell him to take the rest of the day off, while you barricaded yourself in your office and stared at your wrist for hours, running your hands over the golden date confused. The birthdays always shone gold after two people found one another, and when your soulmate died, it went back to black, as if a reminder that the world had faded.

It was weird to see it shine so brightly when you'd lived your whole life staring at the mark and wishing for it to go away.

But he's not here, he's gone. I don't know where he went or how to find him…

Your friends back home described finding their soulmates before, tried to explain to you what it was like when they locked eyes with them for the first time, but everyone was different. No one could describe exactly how they felt when it happened.

Deep down you thought that it should feel like what happened when you locked eyes with the man on the street, like nothing else existed, just him and you but-

He acted like it was nothing like I was just another person and not the other half of his soul.

You swallow the lump in your throat, emotion from a lifetime of disappointment building, and finally the tears begin to crest and fall over your cheeks. You'd never heard of a one sided soulmate before, of only one person feeling drawn to the other one.

Then again, I've never heard of someone printed with the date of a soulmate who was born so far in the past.

Seeing him for the first time was like taking a bullet to the chest, the sharp spike, followed by the force of gravity jolting you into reality.

But why him?

You think again about how weathered he looked, like he'd been living under a rock for the past hundred years. And then you see the flash of his brilliant green eyes again in your mind, just for a fleeting moment, but it's enough to make the warmth trail along your skin, like the soft caress of a lover.

Was he really born in 1919? Or was this just another joke? Another way for the universe to laugh at me?

Frustrated tears blur your eyes as you stroke the birthdate on your wrist, heart breaking all over again, because it seemed that even if you had found the man the universe designated for you, he didn't care.

One Year Later: Present Day

You sigh loudly and hold up another dress in front of your body looking at yourself in the mirror. You had no idea what you were going to wear to Annie and your brother Hughie's housewarming party and you only had about another thirty minutes before you had to leave.

Your brother had been living in New York longer than you had, but he still made time for you. The two of you got lunch every week and it was your fault that he met Annie.

Meeting her yourself had been a complete fluke. You'd been sitting at your favorite bench in Central Park by the pond, reading your favorite book, allowing the gentle prose of the author to whisk you away for a few minutes, when someone sat down beside you and promptly began to cry.

And when you asked her what was wrong she'd told you everything about her problems at work and although you'd never been the best at comforting other people, you'd taken her to the closest coffee shop and the two of you had bonded over Chai Tea lattes.

You'd invited her over to watch a movie with your brother one Saturday night and then had a front row seat when the two of them realized that they were meant to be together. You'd tried to be happy for them, but the whole time Annie gushed about Hughie and Hughie stared at her like she was the last glimpse of the sun before it dropped below the horizon all you could think about was that it would never happen to you.

And now one year later, the two of them were finally moving in together in a fancy apartment uptown and you didn't want to imagine what the rent was. Your own studio was enough for you and you were lucky enough to have one that was rent controlled.

But you figured due to Annie being one of the Seven, she was probably making more than your measly teaching salary could ever amount to.

Learning that she was Starlight had been surprising, you weren't a supe, not even close and you didn't want to be. You had your hands full with teaching college kids, and didn't want to think about what it would be like to have superpowers or really what you would do with them. You certainly didn't need them to be a teacher and you didn't want to have them.

Plus, you always worried that you'd get some weird power like shooting webs out of your butt or making it rain blood. You didn't want to take that chance and shooting up Compound V felt like Russian Roulette.

You also worried about your brother working so closely with supes. The two of you hadn’t met any growing up and you worried that he was putting himself in danger every day when he went out to deal with them. But you were happy that Annie went with him, because you knew that she wouldn't let anything happen to him, she loved him too much.

As you hold up a black dress in the mirror you see a flash of the golden birthdate on your arm, and you're unable to fight the emotion that builds in your chest when you do.

It had been a year since it happened, since you locked eyes with a complete stranger on the street and felt your soul intertwine with his and he turned his back on you.

You'd understood that.

Understood that for some reason he decided to turn away like you meant nothing to him, like you weren't the other piece of his soul, and like a part of him didn't call out to you, a lighthouse over a stormy sea to a sinking ship.

It had broken you more than the first time you realized what the date on your arm meant. It always seemed ridiculous that something that brought happiness to millions of others made you feel broken, like there was something wrong with you.

And in that moment on the street something felt right for a few seconds, you felt whole for the first time in your life, only to have everything dashed against the rocks all over again.

But you hadn't forgotten him, couldn't forget him. His green eyes haunted you and each night you dreamed of him.

You saw pieces of his life, his memories, felt his pain, his anger, his frustration, and deep down his fear whenever you fell asleep. You'd never heard of that before, of a soulmate dreaming the memories of another.

You'd asked your neighbor, Mrs. Charleson if she had dreams of her soulmate's memories, she'd said no, but then she said that she'd heard about it, thought that it was only a myth, but it meant that the souls were fated to spend more than one lifetime together.

As if you knew what that meant.

It had broken your heart even more when she said that, because if that were true why did he turn away?

How could he turn away? Why did he leave me standing in the street and acted like I wasn't his other half?

It made you think that maybe he wasn't impressed with you and that he was disappointed that you of all people were his soulmate.

You'd had a mental breakdown at Mrs. Charleson's apartment when you went home early the day you met your soulmate or whatever the hell he was.

She'd made blueberry tea and rubbed you back. And when the tea hadn't worked she had cracked a bottle of red wine and ordered greasy takeout food that the two of you ate on her floral couch while her cats circled like sharks looking for a piece of your chicken and broccoli.

You would have called Annie, but she and Hughie were out of town on a long weekend getaway.

And when you went back to your apartment and crashed into your bed, you'd dreamt of him for the first time.

The memories you'd seen when you closed your eyes that night were not happy at all. You'd seen the early years of his life being berated by his father, years of him drinking and fucking his sorrows away, and then the worst, him being tortured in what looked like a lab. He was a supe, that much you could gather from the memories. But they were filled with pain, suffering, frustration- you'd never met someone who'd been through so much before. Endured so much torture.

You still didn't know his name, didn't see enough of his life to figure out who he was, only that he was different than you in almost every single way. The memories were terrible, filled with blood, death, and pain. It scared you to see your soulmate that way, see him so angry and see him hurt and kill people. You couldn't imagine the kind of man he was, the kind of man who could burn someone beyond recognition and feel absolutely nothing.

It was confusing. You didn't understand how someone who was supposed to be the other half of your soul, was the complete opposite of you. Someone that was filled with so much rage and pain was the man the stars declared was for you.

It doesn't matter anyway. He saw you and didn't want you.

You ignore the lump of emotion in the back of your throat and hold up a navy blue dress, but you hang it back in your closet with a sigh. Nothing seemed to be appropriate for you to wear to the party and you hadn’t been shopping for a new outfit in ages. Not to mention you knew that no matter what you wore Annie would look flawless.

You loved your brother's soulmate, but sometimes you were intimidated by how pretty she was and how together she was. It made you a little self-conscious about the long skirts, sweaters, and blazers you wore when you were at work and you were not together at all.

You seemed to always be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, frantically running from place to place and trying not to lose the last bit of sanity you had left. While Annie was confident, poised, and glided into each room.

Finally, you reach for a pair of your favorite blue jeans and the same green chunky knit sweater you were wearing the day that you saw him for the first time. The sleeves were long enough to cover the mark on the wrist. You hadn't told your brother or Annie about that day and you didn't want them to see the golden date on your wrist and ask you where your soulmate was.

Guess I'm going a little more casual today.

On your way out you give your cat, Heathcliff, an affectionate scratch behind the ears and grab your purse. You were running a little early this time, early enough to pick up a Snake Plant around the corner at your favorite plant shop, 'Please Don't Die,' as a housewarming gift and then stopped at the liquor store next door to grab a bottle of Annie's favorite wine.

You figured that you'd end up staying late and drinking wine with her long after the party was over.

Hughie opens the door of the apartment when you knock. "Thank God you're here! Annie is freaking out and driving me up the wall-"

"No I'm not! I'm just expressing all the things that have to be done within the next five minutes or I really am going to go crazy!" You hear his soulmate shout back when Hughie lets you in.

The apartment is fancier than yours, all white walls and glass windows that display a view you would kill for. Your brother is wearing a nice light blue button down shirt and navy tie, and his hair is it's usual fluffed and curly self. He looks happy and it warms a piece of your heart because you knew how much that he deserved it. And that's all you wanted for your older brother.

Annie appears, wearing a white dress that wraps over one shoulder and falls to her ankles, effortlessly elegant as usual. It made you feel self-conscious that you'd worn jeans, when Annie was wearing something that made her look like a Greek goddess.

"I am so underdressed." You mutter to yourself

"No! You look great babe. I love those jeans on you." She smiles pulling you in for a hug.

"Well-"

"But please let me do something with your hair." Annie touches the messy bun at the back of your head making a face.

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing, I'm just going to spruce it up a little bit for you."

"But-"

Annie pulls the bottle of wine and the plant from your arms and shoves them at Hughie. "We'll be right back." And with that she drags you to their shared bedroom.

20 minutes later your hair has been perfectly curled and styled by Annie's skillful hands. She'd even adjusted your make up so that now you're wearing a bold red lipstick and a dark eyeshadow that matches your ensemble. And even you have to admit that you look better than you did moments ago. You usually didn't wear that much makeup, sometimes it made you feel like you weren't you, but what Annie had applied seemed stylish.

"Thanks Annie."

"Of course." She smiles brightly and leads you back out into the large kitchen filled with stainless steel appliances and real marble countertops. "How have you been? Did you finish that paper you were writing?"

By now several people have already begun to gather at different parts of the apartment, talking quietly with one another, while sipping drinks and eating finger food. The sound of their chatter is masked by the Billy Joel song playing from the speaker in the corner.

"Yeah. I submitted it, now I'm just waiting for the department head to read it." You frown at the thought.

"You don't think he'll like it?" She moves to the freezer to grab a bag of ice.

"Dale doesn't like the modern period of literature as much as I do so I'm expecting him to have a lot of critiques and reasons why he doesn't like it." You take the bag from her and set it on the counter.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm used to it. He's never ecstatic about my research work." The thought makes you frown. "Even though he knows it's my specialty and the reason why he hired me."

"Isn’t he the creepy married guy that keeps trying to take you to dinner and wrote all those sensual poems about women who sound nothing like his wife?"

"Yep."

"Ew." Annie's face scrunches up in disgust.

"My thoughts exactly." You sigh looking around the kitchen for an ice bucket. "Do y'all have an ice bucket somewhere or-"

"It should be in that cabinet." She points behind you just as you hear someone knock loudly on the front door.

"Perfect."

The ice bucket is acrylic, see-through, and light pink, but you find it easily. The ice clanks against the sides as you pour, not bothering to watch Hughie open the door for whoever it was that hit the front door of the apartment with so much force you thought it would cave in.

Annie leans against the counter pouring herself a glass of wine and groans to herself when she sees who Hughie was greeting.

"What's wrong?" You ask her, your tongue between your teeth as you try not to spill any of the ice over the perfect countertops.

"I didn't think he would come." She grumbles.

"Who?"

"Ben." Annie all but sighs the name.

"And why didn't you want him to come?" You ask, pouring more ice into the bucket.

"He's just kind of rough-"

"Rough?"

"He works with Hughie. He's a supe. Thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread or whatever.” She sighs again and takes a sip of her white wine to calm down. "Actually he used to be Soldier Boy."

"Soldier Boy? You mean the supe from the 80's that died?"

Hughie didn't tell me he had a dead man working with him.

"It's a long story." Annie waves her hand as if to dissipate the thought, but it doesn’t make you any less curious. "Now he works at the bureau with Hughie trying to keep supes in check. Usually he and Butcher bump heads."

"Oh."

Hughie didn't talk much about what he did with Butcher, or really who he met, but after Homelander disappeared and Stormfront took over as leader as the Seven more supes began to come out of the woodwork, supes that had been afraid before, but now had no one to keep them in check. And although The Seven were feared in the city, no one was feared as much as Homelander.

"I'm sure that he won't try anything Annie. And if he does I'll keep him in check." You smile at your friend.

It's her housewarming party and supe or no if he's a prick I'm going to kick his ass out. Annie doesn't deserve to feel stressed today of all days.

"Thanks babe."

"What are friends for?"

She squeezes your arm and walks away to talk with MM who stands with a little girl who must be his daughter. You'd only spoken to him a handful of times, but he was always eager to talk about her achievements in school. He was so proud of her that it made your heart warm. Her mother wasn't his soulmate, but there hadn't been any hard feelings between MM and his daughter's mother.

That wasn't unusual. You'd known several people who decided to date other people before meeting their soulmate as a way of passing the time. You'd always thought it was ridiculous to commit yourself to someone else and fall in love with them, only to have your heart broken when they met who they were meant to be with.

It was why you hadn't tried to date anyone, because you might have never met your soulmate, but the other person you'd be in a relationship with would. And you didn’t want to give your heart to someone only to have them leave you when they met their other half. Which meant that you were probably going to die alone, especially because your soulmate doesn't want you. It hadn't helped that you'd seen a few memories from your own soulmate with other women over the years, women that didn't look anything like you, women that seemed more confident, more beautiful, and more stylish than you.

Maybe that's why he didn't want me.

Your feel the familiar twinge in your chest when you thought that and fought the tears that burned when you thought of how happy Annie and Hughie were. You didn't want to cry at their party.

The familiar question rises in your head again:

When will it be okay?

Probably never.

You turn toward the freezer holding the now half-full bag of ice intent on putting it back when someone bumps into you. The bag slips from your hands and ice goes skittering across the perfect hardwood floors in every direction, but just when you start to drop to pick it up, you feel a large hand grip your shoulder.

A gasp escapes from your mouth as it makes contact.

As soon as the palm touches you, you feel nothing else, not the shift of the sweater against your skin, not the slight chill from the air conditioner, not the brush of your hair against your cheeks, all you feel is the warmth radiating through your clothes and soaking into your skin from the person's hand.

The hand moves to cup your chin gently, the shock of the person's skin touching yours makes the feeling increase ten-fold as the hand tilts your face up to meet the eyes of the person who bumped into you.

You know it's him before your eyes meet his, know that it's the man from the street who you saw for only a few seconds a year ago, but this time when his beautiful green eyes meet yours everything you felt that day comes roaring back.

He's taller than you remember, shoulders proud and broad stretching a dark gray button down shirt over his chest that have the sleeves rolled up revealing tanned arms. His hair is shorter, still dark brown, but now only long enough to cover the tops of his ears and his beard is shaved so that only a thick dusting covers his cheeks, but it's still him. And he's more handsome than any version you could come up with in your mind.

All sound in the room vanishes, the drone of chatter fades, the clinking of glasses disappears, the only sound that remains is your own heart thudding in your chest and you swear you can hear his beating at the same frequency, both of your hearts calling out to one another.

Your entire body feels like it's vibrating, as if every cell is moving so fast that they're heating you from the inside, leaving behind a molten puddle of what you used to be. A golden cord weaves around the two of you securing your heart to his in your mind, making you gasp as it hooks to his heart binding his soul to yours. Time stops as he gazes at you, something brightening in his green eyes as they absorb your own gaze.

The man doesn't move. It almost looks like he's stopped breathing, and you realize that you haven't taken a breath since he touched your shoulder. His eyes drop down to your right wrist where your hand rests over his heart, where he knows his birthday will be.

You don't remember reaching out to touch him, but now that you realize it, you can feel his heart beating beneath the palm of your hand like a fluttering bird, gentle and judging by the memories you had witnessed from him, nothing about this man was gentle.

"I've been looking everywhere for you sweetheart." The man rumbles, the words vibrating against your fingertips where they rest against his muscular chest. He smiles down at you and somewhere deep down you feel something break open that you thought was locked away long ago.

And as you stand there looking up at the man you thought you'd never see again, the autumn sun warm against your back, you feel a flicker of something that could grow into a blaze spark to life in your chest.

A/N: I hope y'all loved the first chapter as much as I loved writing it! I've never written a soulmate AU, so I am a little nervous about it, but I think that it's going to be a lot of fun! And yes, I did give Ben the same birthday as Dean Winchester (not the same year). In my head Ben is Dean from a different universe, and it just made sense to me. 😂

Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think 😊 If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series please let me know! :)

Taglist:

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#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy/ben #the boys amazon #the boys fanfic #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy fic #soldier boy x y/n

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librababe99 · 3 months ago

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Echoes of Her: Part Three

A/N: Hey y'all ! I'm back with the final part of "Echoes of Her" ♡ I seriously want to thank everyone for your comments, reblogs and interactions with this mini series. I loved being able to write this and bring these ideas to life! Again, y'all mean so much to me...so THANK YOU! Stay tuned for more soon ♡ - Libra * .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆ Word Count: 1738 CW: Angst, love triangle, hurt with comfort (Part one) (Part Two)

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The days following your conversation with Logan were a torment you hadn’t anticipated. Each hour seemed to stretch endlessly, the pain of your unresolved feelings gnawing at you from the inside out. The mansion, once a place of comfort and familiarity, had become a labyrinth of haunting memories, each corridor a reminder of what you had lost—or perhaps never truly had.

You moved through it like a ghost, your presence almost ethereal, as if the very walls knew you were clinging to a love that had slipped through your fingers. Every corner you turned, every room you entered, was steeped in the past—a collection of fleeting glances, whispered secrets, and moments stolen from time, all of which now seemed like distant echoes of a life that no longer felt like your own. The spaces that had once been filled with the warmth of his presence now felt cold and empty, as if the mansion itself mourned the uncertainty that had settled between you and Logan. And as you wandered through this once-familiar place, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were trapped in the shadow of something you could never fully possess, lost in the remnants of a love that might have never truly been yours to begin with.

Logan kept his promise. He gave you space, but his presence was everywhere: the scent of his cigar lingering in the air, the faint echoes of his voice in the halls, the emptiness that seemed to follow you, reminding you of the distance between you. It was unbearable, the constant ache in your chest, the gnawing fear that you’d never find your way back to each other.

The nights were the worst. The quiet darkness left you alone with your thoughts, with the haunting image of Jean in Logan’s arms, with the memories of the life you’d imagined with him. Sleep eluded you, your mind racing with questions that had no answers.

And every night, without fail, you found yourself standing outside his door, your hand hovering over the wood, your heart pounding in your chest. But you never knocked. You never found the courage to face him, to ask the questions you were too afraid to know the answers to.

But tonight was different. Tonight, the silence felt suffocating, the emptiness too much to bear. Your heart ached with the need to see him, to hear his voice, to find some semblance of closure, whether it meant saying goodbye or finding a way forward together.

Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself and knocked on the door. The sound was soft, hesitant, but in the quiet of the night, it echoed like a gunshot.

The door creaked open, and there he was, his eyes widening in surprise as they locked onto yours. He looked as worn and tired as you felt, and the sight of him made your heart twist painfully in your chest.

“Can we talk?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Logan nodded silently, stepping aside to let you in. The room was dimly lit, the shadows dancing across the walls as you entered. It was the same room you’d left him in all those nights ago, but now it felt different. The air was charged with something unspoken, something that made your skin prickle with anticipation.

He closed the door behind you, the sound of it clicking shut sending a shiver down your spine. You turned to face him, your heart hammering in your chest, your hands trembling at your sides.

“I’ve been thinking,” you began, your voice shaky. “About us. About everything.”

Logan didn’t respond, his eyes locked on yours, his expression unreadable. The tension between you was palpable, a thick, heavy thing that hung in the air, pressing down on you both.

“I’m scared, Logan,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I’m scared that no matter how much we try, we’re always going to end up back here. Hurting each other, tearing each other apart.”

He took a step closer, his gaze softening as he reached out to gently touch your arm. “I’m scared too,” he said, his voice low and rough. “But I’m more scared of losing you.”

Your breath hitched, the raw emotion in his voice cutting through you like a blade. “I don’t know how to do this, Logan. I don’t know how to be with you when I know… when I know she’s still a part of you.”

He winced, the pain in his eyes almost unbearable to see. “She is a part of me. Always will be. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I’m tired of running from this—from us. I’m tired of living in the past.”

The sincerity in his words made your heart ache, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. “I don’t want to be second best,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I don’t want to spend my life wondering if I’m just a consolation prize.”

Logan’s hand moved to your cheek, his touch gentle as he wiped away your tears. “You’re not. You never were. I’ve been a fool, and I’ve hurt you in ways I can never make up for. But I’m here now, and I’m telling you that you’re the one I want. You’re the one I need.”

His words hit you with a force that nearly knocked the wind out of you, your breath catching in your throat as you stared up at him, searching his eyes for any sign of doubt. But there was none. Only raw, unfiltered truth.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know if I can keep loving you when it hurts this much.”

Logan’s grip on your face tightened slightly, his thumb brushing over your cheek in a soothing gesture. “Then let me help you. Let me prove to you that I’m not going anywhere. That I’m choosing you.”

You hesitated, the fear still gnawing at the edges of your heart, but beneath it, there was something else—a flicker of hope, of longing, that refused to be extinguished.

“I want to believe you,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I want to trust you.”

“Then do,” Logan urged, his voice rough with emotion. “Trust me. Trust us. We’ve been through hell, but we’re still standing. That’s gotta mean something.”

His words hung in the air, the truth of them settling deep in your bones. You knew he was right. Despite everything, despite the pain and the heartache, you were still here. You were still fighting.

And maybe that was enough.

Slowly, tentatively, you nodded. “Okay.”

Logan’s breath escaped him in a rush, relief flooding his features as he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against him. You melted into his embrace, the warmth of his body chasing away the cold that had settled in your heart.

He leaned down, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “For everything. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll let me.”

You closed your eyes, your heart swelling with a mix of emotions—fear, hope, love—all tangled together in a messy, beautiful knot. “I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life apologizing,” you whispered back, your voice soft but firm. “I just want you to be here. With me. For real.”

“I’m here,” he promised, his voice rough with sincerity. “I’m not going anywhere.”

And as his lips met yours in a tender, lingering kiss, you allowed yourself to believe it—to believe in the possibility of a future where the echoes of the past no longer haunted you, where the love you shared was enough to overcome the pain.

The kiss deepened, the taste of him filling your senses, grounding you in the present, in the reality that he was here, with you, and that you were choosing each other, despite everything.

When you finally pulled away, your breath ragged, your heart pounding in your chest, you looked up at him, your eyes searching for any sign of hesitation. But there was none. Only love, raw and unfiltered, staring back at you.

“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Just stay.”

You nodded slowly, feeling the last remnants of fear and doubt dissolve like mist under the warmth of his gaze. The walls you had built around your heart began to crumble, replaced by a quiet, unwavering certainty. With a gentle but deliberate motion, you reached up, your fingers trembling slightly as they found their way to his face. The rough texture of his stubbled cheek was a comforting reminder of his strength, of the man who had weathered so many storms yet still stood before you, willing to face the tempest that had raged between you both. Your thumb traced a slow, tender path along his jawline, as if trying to memorize every detail, to anchor yourself in this moment of fragile peace. “I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered, your voice steady, filled with a conviction that surprised even you.

As his arms wrapped around you, drawing you close, you let yourself melt into the embrace, feeling the solid warmth of him against you. The tension, the pain, the wounds that had festered between you for so long seemed to dissipate, leaving behind only the raw, undeniable truth of your connection. His arms were both a refuge and a promise, holding you in a way that spoke of comfort and commitment, of a bond that had been tested but refused to break. Despite the scars that marred your past, despite the echoes of hurt that would always linger in the shadows, you realized that you had finally found your way back to one another.

This time, there was no hesitation, no lingering doubt. You knew, with every fiber of your being, that this was where you were meant to be—in his arms, with him. The journey had been long and painful, marked by loss and longing, but it had led you to this moment, to a love that had survived the worst and emerged stronger. As you held each other close, you silently vowed that this time, no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together.

You weren’t letting go—not now, not ever.

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imagine-you · 3 months ago

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all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me [Logan/Reader]

Summary: Sequel to won't somebody come take me home? and closer to where I started. Now that you've decided to put the past behind you, you're focused solely on what the future holds for you, Logan, and your family. Whether that means teaming up with the X-Men to help stop the escalated attacks around the city or sitting down for a nice dinner with Logan, Laura, and Wade, you're ready for all of it. You're so close to being completely happy until you find yourself a victim of one of the attacks and find out that someone from Logan's universe has managed to return. You never expected your new life to be easy, but you certainly never thought Logan's wife would show up and disrupt everything you had built for yourself. Word Count: 9k Author's Note: This chapter may contain: Angst, Reader Whump, Surprise Cameos, Angst, A New Villain, A Disrupted Villain Origin Story, Training Montages, Angst, A Smidge of Hope, Illusions, and…Angst. (but I swear the angst gets resolved. y'all have to trust me!! there will be a happy ending for this fic.)

When I'm With You I'm Home 'verse

won't somebody come take me home? // closer to where I started

Read on AO3

If anyone had told you while you were stuck in the Void that there was a future where you found yourself in another universe and your greatest wish had come true, then you would have chalked it up to a pipe dream and left it at that. If anyone had told you there was a future where your worst nightmare had come true, well then, that would've been easier to believe.

"What are you making?" Laura asked, peering over your shoulder to get a look at the stove.

"Something special," you told her, winking at her when she let out an impatient huff. "Steak and pasta," you clarified, turning your attention back to where you were spooning sauce over the steaks, hoping the flavor carried through for you.

After getting back from your original universe, you had felt like the weight of the past had been lifted off your shoulders. You didn't give a fuck about your original Logan and as far as you were concerned, he could fuck off into whatever happy existence he wanted with Jean. Did you want them to suffer? Maybe. But it was no longer a requirement for you to heal.

Your Logan had made sure of that.

Now, weeks had passed, and you felt like a new person. Gone was the obsession with the past and in its place was now your excitement for the future.

Your future with Logan and Laura and even Wade. Your future with a new family and a new team. Life hadn’t given you a moment of rest, but you were happy to know that when your back was against the wall, you had people ready to jump in and protect you from whatever hit came your way.

All of you had spent the last couple of weeks wrapped up in the escalated attacks happening throughout the city. There weren't many indicators about who exactly was causing them. Half the time, there were explosions and other times it was just an outright slaughter.

Logan and Wade were out trying to help the X-Men clean up the latest catastrophe. You had opted to stay home with Laura, taking a moment of well-deserved rest from running from one tragedy to the next. Logan had left you with a promise to return that evening and a kiss that hinted at more later.

You thought it was cute how Logan kept insisting he was retired, but the first sign of trouble, and he couldn't help but jump right in. It was why you loved him, because even though he had spent years spiraling after the devastation he faced with his old life, he still couldn't help but try to make things better for others.

You liked to think you had a little something to do with that.

Even though you were just within reach from a perfect existence, you knew it still wasn't without its problems. You and Logan still had a lot of work to do. Both of you were still holding things close to the chest, afraid to show them and lose everything you had earned.

Sometimes, you caught Logan simply watching you, wary and concerned, as if he thought you were about to leave him. Other times, when Logan woke in the middle of the night and reached for you, you wondered if he knew it was you or if he still held onto the memory of his wife, seeking her for comfort. Logan had been open and honest with you, but you sometimes got the feeling that he wasn't telling you everything. Some nights, when you couldn't sleep, you would lie awake and watch him, terrified that if given the chance he would leave you in a heartbeat for his old life.

You always had the feeling like the other shoe was about to drop, so you had taken on the mentality that you were going to enjoy every day you got with him. Which was why you were hellbent on making the perfect dinner and having the perfect dessert all ready to go when he got back home.

"Shit," you hissed when you started stirring together the ingredients for the pasta sauce. "I forgot one thing," you groaned, glancing over at Laura. "I've got to go out to grab something. Will you keep an eye on this for me? Just make sure it doesn't burn," you instructed her when Laura gifted you with a skeptical look.

"What if it burns?" Laura wondered, reaching out to take the spoon from you when you handed it to her.

"Then we'll order takeout," you answered with a shrug of your shoulders. "It won't be a big deal, but I still want to try to get this right," you told her, reaching out to flick her ear.

Laura turned a glare on you, and you knew if you were anyone else, she would have already brought out her claws. You saw a fond smile take the place of her scowl before she shook her head. "Hurry," she urged you, turning a wary look at the stove.

"Ten minutes," you promised, reaching out to grab your keys and wallet. "Just going down to the corner store." You saw Laura open her mouth and you knew what she was going to ask. "Yes, I'll get the cookies," you told her, thinking of the chocolate monstrosities she was so obsessed with lately.

Laura grinned at you, pleased, and cautiously began to stir the sauce.

You locked the apartment door behind you. You knew Laura was more than capable of taking care of herself and she had already been through hell and back, but you couldn't help but want to protect her in every way you could. She was still a kid, even if she would point out she was seventeen.

You made it to the tiny market just around the corner from your apartment within four minutes. You were eager to get back and finish dinner. You couldn't wait to see the look on Logan's face when you had dinner all set up and told him that Laura even helped make it. You knew Wade would invite himself to dinner, so you would of course have extra just for him. You knew you wouldn’t be here without him, and while he drove you crazy, you now couldn’t imagine your life without him in it.

You were a family, fucked up and weird, but full of love.

You grabbed the cookies Laura wanted and searched for a can of black olives. You caught sight of the spices and started in that direction to see if there was anything extra you wanted to add to the sauce. You figured you had maybe five minutes to get back before Laura insisted she did everything she could to salvage dinner, but maybe you should just order pizza.

You were reaching out to grab a bottle of parsley flakes when you noticed something pass right in front of you. You startled at the sight of the playing card, faintly glowing pink, as it sailed towards the shelves in front of you.

You didn't even have time to prepare before the card landed and the shelves exploded. You brought your arms up, trying to shield your face from the shrapnel. The force of the blast was strong enough to throw you back into the shelves behind you. You felt your head connect with the edge of one the shelves and stars exploded in your vision.

There was a ringing in your ears and the taste of blood in your mouth. Your head felt like it was spinning as you struggled to open your eyes, not even sure when you had closed them.

You could hear footsteps approaching you and you managed to squint up at the person standing in front of you. Your gaze drifted from his boots to his trench coat and then up to his eyes. They were glowing a faint red.

"Remy?" You groaned, reaching up to press a hand to your forehead. You blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of what was going on. You looked at your fingers and they were stained red, blood coating them. Your face was stinging from the bits of shrapnel you hadn’t been able to shield yourself from and the back of your head was aching in a way you had never felt before.

Remy crouched down in front of you. He reached out and tucked his fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Now, I know we've never met before, so how is it you know my name?" He turned your head one way and then the other, considering you for a brief moment, before he made a thoughtful noise. "Oh, but believe me, we're going to get to know each other real well, bon ami. Just you wait." His eyes were no longer glowing, but there was a devious look in them you didn't like.

You attempted to sit up, but your vision swam and you felt like you were going to throw up. “What the hell are you doing?” You attempted to ask, but your words were slurred, and you were having a hard time concentrating on him even though he was right in front of you.

"Let's get you home, hm?" Remy said, gathering you up in his arms. He stood, lifting you with him, and you tried to wriggle out of his hold, but he was clutching you tightly enough that you couldn’t move.

The last thing you saw was the underside Remy's jaw and the blur of the ceiling tiles above you before darkness swept in to collect you.

You woke to sunlight that had escaped past the curtains in your bedroom and crept right towards you. It was an unwelcome intrusion and you brought your hand up to shield your eyes.

You groaned, forcing yourself to sit up, before squinting at your surroundings. Your head was aching, each pound of your heart sending a bolt of pain right behind your eyes. You didn’t remember drinking the night before or even crawling into bed, but it felt like the worst hangover you had ever experienced.

"Fuck," you grumbled before forcing yourself out of bed. Logan seemed to already be up, and you wondered if he had liked your dinner the night before. There was something wrong, something off, but you didn't know what it was yet. You were having trouble thinking past the pain.

You walked towards your bedroom door, intent on hunting down the bottle of painkillers you kept in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. You tried to think about what happened before you fell asleep and finally your memories came back to you in a dizzying rush.

Making dinner, leaving Laura in charge, and locking the door behind you. Going to the store, a playing card that ending in an explosion, and Remy promising to take you home.

"I had the weirdest dream," you muttered as you stumbled out into the living room. The pain in your head spiked with every footstep and your mouth was so dry your tongue felt like it was sticking to the roof of your mouth.

The first thing you noticed was that Logan was sitting at the kitchen table and the second was that he wasn't alone. You froze just a few feet away from the table trying to make sense of what was in front of you.

Because Logan was there in his usual seat at the table and he had his hand outstretched over the surface. His hand was clutching the stranger's like a lifeline and he looked as if the person in front of him had just saved him from his own personal torment.

You slowly rounded the table, a twisting feeling of dread in your gut, as you got a look at the stranger.

It was you.

Well, not you. She had a scar crossing one of her eyes and her hair was a different color. She carried herself with more confidence, her shoulders not slumped and head held high. She was wearing the same yellow and blue X-Men suit you first saw your Logan in when you were trapped in the Void.

But she was still undeniably you. Just a variant you could have been in another universe.

"What?" You felt helpless as you looked to her and then to Logan. Pain had been overtaken by confusion and now you felt like you were going to pass out for an entirely different reason. "What's going on?"

"My wife," Logan said, finally tearing his gaze away from her to look at you. "She's back. A portal opened up last night and she walked right through it." His voice was filled with incredulous awe, and it felt like there was a knife digging into your chest. Your breath hitched and you tried to push past the feeling being carved out right where your heart resided.

You didn't think it could get any worse until you noticed the look of pure love and adoration he gifted her. You had only ever seen that look aimed at you and seeing it given so freely to someone else had you clenching your fists at your sides, anger washing over you.

"So, what?" You snapped, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of your tone. "She's just going to live here now? We'll all be one big happy family?" You didn't want to fight anyone for Logan's attention. Not again. Not after what happened with Jean in your other universe. You couldn't lose again. You wouldn't.

Logan stared up at you before he finally looked back at his wife. "We're still married," he pointed out, brushing his thumb gently over the wedding ring on his wife's hand. "And she was my first love," he continued, twisting the knife deeper and deeper. "I'm sorry, but I can't leave her again."

You watched the couple in front of you, frozen in that moment. Hurt and indecision rose within you and you felt trapped.

"So, what does that mean for me?" Your voice sounded so small and scared that you almost didn't believe it was yours. You had never felt this way with your Logan before and you didn't know what to do.

Logan finally tore his gaze away from his wife to look at you again.

"I'm sorry, but now that I have her back...," he trailed off, letting you assume the rest for yourself. "You can stay until you find somewhere else to go," he offered, as if it was any consolation.

You let out a hollow little laugh as you took a step away from him. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Logan, after everything you had been through together, was giving you up as if you meant nothing to him. The same ache and loneliness you felt back in your original universe was descending on you again. You thought you had put those feelings behind you, but now you were having to confront them again in the worst way.

Because this Logan had loved you like the other one never had and this one had promised never to hurt you. But here he was, crushing any hope you had that this Logan would be different.

You forced yourself to turn around, putting your back to them. You couldn't stand to look at them anymore.

You were faced with Laura standing there in the doorway of the apartment. She was silent, watching you, and you had a sinking feeling in your gut that told you this wouldn't go your way either.

"Laura, I--," you started as you approached her, not even sure where you would end up. "Do you want to come with me?" Was what you settled on, because evidently you couldn't stay here. You had been through so much with Laura. You had survived the Void together and fought together just to survive. Surely, that had to mean something to her. ‘Don’t leave me all alone,’ was what you wanted to beg, but you didn’t want Logan to have the satisfaction of seeing you brought down to your lowest point.

Laura took a few steps forward and you wondered if she would meet you in the middle. Instead, she walked past you and stood at the table, joining Logan and his wife. "I can't lose him again," Laura said, echoing your thoughts. Except, Laura could stay and you had to go.

You saw Logan's wife, the other you, the one he was choosing over you, reach out to flick Laura's ear. Instead of snapping at her, Laura turned a fond, soft smile on the other you and you felt another piece of your heart break.

That was your thing with Laura and that should have been your smile. Logan's wife had swept in and cleared you out, leaving no room for you.

You could feel the fight or flight instinct rising within you and you chose to get the hell out of there. It wasn't your home anymore, because someone had filled your role. You were no longer needed.

You didn't even know where you were going to go, but you somehow found yourself right at Wade's doorstep. You brought your hand up to knock, terror and despair coursing through you.

Wade answered the door in a suit and tie. You would have asked him what the hell was going on, but he didn't give you a chance to talk. He leaned on the doorframe, considering you with a grimace. "I thought you'd show up here after you found out."

"You know?" You weren't sure why it felt like such a betrayal, but you always thought Wade would have had your back. Why didn't he track you down and warn you? Why had no one just given you some kind of heads up that you would be completely ousted from the life you had built for yourself with Logan?

"Sure do, baby bird," Wade confirmed with a quick nod of his head. There was something off in his tone. This didn't feel like the same Wade you had come to know and reluctantly love. This almost felt like a stranger wearing a Wade mask. "I was there when she showed up. Just walked right out of that portal and into Logan's arms like she hasn't been dead for the past who knows how long."

You hated that you could picture that perfectly, as if Wade's memory was playing out in your head.

"Yeah, well, it looks like I'm not needed anymore now that he has who he really wants." You felt like an idiot for ever thinking you were more than just a placeholder for Logan's wife. You didn't want to cry in front of Wade, but you could feel the sting of tears in your eyes.

Wade tilted his head to the side, watching you with an intensity that was almost unnerving. "So, what are you gonna do now?"

"Can I stay here?" You tried, knowing that you couldn't go back to your apartment. You didn't want to ever step foot in there again, knowing that the bright, happy memories you had created were now tainted with misery.

Wade brought his foot back, kicking the door to his apartment open enough for you to see Vanessa seated at the table. "No can do," Wade answered with a wince. "You see, I'm trying to win her back over and I'm already sharing a one bedroom apartment with Blind Al, so it's a little cramped around here. But hey, if you join the X-Men, it usually comes with free room and board. They'll take anyone," he got out on a laugh, before he waved his hand. "Well, except for me. You shoot one person," he lamented, shaking his head in disappointment. "Or, hey, I hear Love Island is casting. Might be time to find you a new boo."

"So," you started, trying to reconcile the fact that you no longer had a home with Logan and now you couldn't find one either with Wade. "I can't stay here," you said, and it was no longer a question, it was just a fact of your new lonely, pathetic existence.

There was something so off about everything that had happened that day and you were trying to make sense of all of it. You had just spent the night before making a special dinner for your family and now you didn't even have one.

Everything was happening so fast that you felt like you weren’t even really processing it. Why hadn’t you just stayed at the apartment and fought for Logan? This was your life. Your home, your family, your love. Why were you just giving it all up so easily? You didn’t understand, but now you weren’t even sure you would be able to force yourself to go back.

"No," Wade admitted, with a sheepish grin. "It's not only Vanessa, you see, but Logan. I mean, Deadpool and Wolverine are a package deal now. There's no breaking up that superhero wet dream team and if I'm harboring his ex? Then that'll just make it more awkward than the time I used his toothbrush on Dogpool. Trust me, he made me regret that one. There are some places those claws of his should not go," he warned with a shudder.

Hearing Wade refer to you as Logan's ex broke something inside you. You could feel hurt begin to overwhelm you, swiftly replaced by anger. You let out a short, sharp scream of frustration. You didn't even realize you had formed a forcefield around you and pushed out with it until you realized Wade had been knocked several steps back.

"Y/N--" Wade started, but you turned away from him.

You didn't want to be placated and you didn't want to deal with anymore of Wade's nonsense. You let yourself go invisible, knowing that it was the only way you would feel safe now.

You wandered around the neighborhood for hours, trying to figure out where you belonged. You trudged from street to street before unerringly finding your way back to your apartment complex once night fell. You didn't dare go inside, but you stayed out on the sidewalk. People passed by you, never knowing you were even there, and you kept your gaze up on the window that shone brightest in the dark.

Logan was up there. He was with his wife and Laura and they were a family in their home enjoying a night together. You were no one with nothing and no home to share with anyone.

You weren't sure why you stayed there for so long, but you thought it had something to do with hope and an inane wish that he would come downstairs and tell you it was all some sick joke. You thought of his promise that he would always find you, even when you were hidden, but that hadn't been true either.

Logan was happy without you, because he had what he really wanted all along. So, why would he come find you when he didn't even need you anymore?

Or worse, Logan knew you were down here and just didn't care about you anymore.

With that revelation, you turned and walked away. There was a swirling mess of thoughts stuck in your head that dredged up the same old insecurities you thought you had shed once and for all.

You would never be good enough. You were unloved. You didn't matter. You weren't worth anything.

You had no one.

You felt tears slide down your cheeks as you aimlessly roamed from place to place. You next found yourself outside the X-Mansion, wondering if you should take Wade's advice and join up with the X-Men. As much as you longed to feel like you belonged somewhere, you didn't think you could go back to saving people with a smile on your face like you weren't slowly withering inside.

There was a whisper of your name on the air. You glanced over your shoulder, looking to see who called your name, but you found no one. It had been so faint that you might have imagined it, but there was a feeling, an electrified touch, that had briefly set your nerves alight.

You weren't sure what time it was, but you were exhausted. You found it pathetic and sad that you didn't have anywhere to go. You didn't even have money for a hotel room. All you could think to do was find a park and drop down onto a bench. At the very least, you knew you could protect yourself if anyone tried to attack you.

You formed a forcefield around you, ignoring the fact that it would only slip away while you slept, and let yourself drift away.

When you woke, you weren't alone. You jolted in place, suddenly wide awake, and scrambled to sit up. On the bench across from yours, a man was sitting reading a newspaper.

He quirked an eyebrow at you when he realized he had your attention.

"I was wondering when you would wake up," he said, lowering the newspaper.

He had dark eyes and darker hair. He wore a suit with a black trench coat, but the illusion of a businessman was ruined by the combat boots he was wearing. His skin was pale and there was a faint ring of red around his eyes that had you wondering if he was wearing makeup. His appearance, oddly enough, seemed false, but the grin on his face was genuine, if a bit unsettling.

"Were you watching me?" You couldn't help but wonder, half-torn between becoming invisible to make your escape and staying to get answers.

"Yes," he answered, unashamed by his actions. "I thought it fascinating that someone would let you stay out here all alone. You don't deserve that, so I stayed to keep watch over you."

You wanted to tell him you could take care of yourself, but you didn't feel so sure about that anymore. The reminder of your loneliness crept up on you and you could feel doubt settle over you. You were on your own now without a team. No one was going to come save you if you found yourself in trouble. You would simply have to claw your own way out.

"What's your name?" You decided to ask instead, studying him from across the small concrete path that separated you.

"Nathaniel," he introduced himself with a smile. "And you are?"

"Y/N," you returned, with a half-hearted wave.

"Now, I know we just met, but I do have one thing on my mind," Nathaniel started, leaning in towards you after placing his newspaper on the bench beside him. "What on earth are you doing out here all by yourself?"

You felt your lips twist to the side in a frown as you bit down on the side of your mouth to keep a lid on the emotions that threatened to boil over at the reminder of the previous day. "I--," you cut yourself off, not sure how to phrase your situation to a stranger without making it seem as if you had completely lost your mind. "I lost my home yesterday," you settled on with a grimace. "My family kicked me out."

Nathaniel made a sympathetic noise before he stood up. "May I?" He asked, gesturing towards your bench.

You shrugged your shoulders in answer but moved over to leave him enough space to sit down beside you.

"In my experience, family is a fickle thing," Nathaniel continued once he was at your side. "People come and go, but you have to be able to stand by yourself and forge your own path once it all falls apart."

"I don't know if I can do that this time," you whispered, ashamed to admit that you were on the brink of losing whatever control over your emotions you had managed since waking up.

Nathaniel turned so he could watch you. It was a bit unnerving, but you figured you had no one else for company. A smirk tugged at his lips as he studied you. "You're a fighter," he assured you.

"Oh?" You wondered, returning his stare. "And how would you know that?"

His smirk was still in place as he tapped his temple. "I'm psychic," he proclaimed, holding up his fingers and waving them before imitating a ghostly wail.

You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you and it felt so wrong.

"There we go," Nathaniel murmured with a pleased smile. "Look, I know you don't know me, but how about a drink? Coffee?" He prompted, moving to stand and holding out a hand to you.

You didn't want to wallow in your misery on the park bench all by yourself and you figured Nathaniel made a decent enough distraction. "You're paying," you told him, reluctantly grabbing his hand and letting him help you up. "Only because I don't have any money."

Nathaniel laughed, the sound briefly jarring to you, and cocked his head to the side. "In that case, I'll buy you breakfast too."

You found yourself in a diner booth sitting across from Nathaniel. He offered to buy you whatever you wanted, but you settled for a cup of coffee and a stack of pancakes. You weren't all that hungry and you couldn't get your mind off Logan. You wondered what he was doing right at that moment and then you dashed the thought. He was probably happy with his wife and Laura and had forgotten all about you.

"Hey," Nathaniel called, getting your attention. "Where did you go?"

You shook your head, biting your lip to distract yourself.

"Thinking about your family?" He prompted, shooting you a wary look. "I know I'm a stranger and it's none of my business, but do you want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can offer some perspective."

You scowled down at your pancakes, pushing them halfheartedly around the plate with a fork. You glanced around the diner, spotting a blonde woman wearing a white suit watching you curiously from a booth not far from yours. You shook your head at Nathaniel, not wanting anyone to overhear you.

"Let's get out of here," you told him, pushing yourself out of the booth. "I could use a walk to clear my head."

"Alright," Nathaniel readily agreed, standing as well. While he placed a twenty on the table, you made for the door.

There was that whisper again in the air that had you looking over your shoulder. Someone was calling your name, but you didn't see anyone you recognized. No one was even looking at you except for Nathaniel who was slowly approaching you.

"You okay?" Nathaniel interrupted, stealing your attention away.

"Yeah," you muttered, briefly nodding your head. "Just c'mon," you said, barely waiting for Nathaniel to follow you before you pushed through the door and walked outside.

You didn't think you would be able to confide in a total stranger, but there was something strangely freeing about unloading all the burdens on your mind to someone who didn't know anything about you. You even managed to drop the mutant bomb on him and were surprised when Nathaniel only took it in stride, as if he had expected all along you weren’t quite normal. He mostly seemed focused on what you told him about your family and how you lost them all in one fell swoop.

"Sounds like you're better off without them," Nathaniel mused. "Anyone who would let you go like that is an idiot."

"Maybe," you begrudgingly agreed. You didn't think it was possible, but Nathaniel had managed to make you feel better. Maybe letting out all your worries had briefly unburdened you. Or maybe since you lost everyone, you had been desperate to hear someone tell you it wasn’t your fault.

"They're all ungrateful idiots," Nathaniel continued. "You're special," he told you. "And you deserve more."

His tone brooked no argument, but you were a little thrown off by how serious he seemed.

"I don't know what I'm going to do now," you deflected, scowling down at your hands. "I don't have anyone or anywhere to go. And I've just spent the day with a stranger telling him my whole pathetic sob story."

"I'm not a stranger anymore," Nathaniel offered with a grin. "You know my name and everything."

"I know literally nothing else about you," you pointed out. You were starting to feel apprehensive about trusting someone you didn't even know. Your head was beginning to hurt and you could feel your hands trembling. You weren't sure why panic had hit you all at once, but you could feel your heart beating overtime in your chest and a cold sweat begin to break out along your skin. You were beginning to hyperventilate, confused and overwhelmed, when Nathaniel took you by the shoulders and forced you to look into his eyes.

"Hey, it's all going to be okay. Just trust me, alright? Y/N, you with me?"

You tried to focus on Nathaniel, but there was a ringing in your ears and you swore someone else was trying to get your attention. You shook your head, trying to keep yourself from falling right into a spiral. You forced yourself to take slow, deep breaths, realizing that Nathaniel was also taking them, trying to coach you through your anxiety attack.

You closed your eyes once you finally felt like you could stand on your own two feet without freaking out. You took a moment to center yourself before allowing yourself to open your eyes again.

"Thanks," you whispered, nodding at him when he shot you a skeptical look. "I'm fine. I'll be fine," you claimed, even though you knew it was a lie. You were tired of loving and losing. Your heart ached for Logan and you knew that you would never recover from losing him. But Nathaniel, odd as he was, had managed to help you feel like maybe you didn't have to spend the rest of your existence completely alone.

"I know you will," Nathaniel confirmed with another one of his smiles. "Because you're coming home with me."

You stared at Nathaniel, waiting for the punchline, but it never came. "I could be a serial killer," you warned him with a scoff. "And you're inviting me into your home?"

Nathaniel shrugged his shoulders, a smirk on his face. "I'm not scared of you."

He sounded so sure of himself that you couldn't help the disbelieving laugh that escaped you. "You're completely insane, aren't you?"

"So, is that a yes?" Nathaniel wondered, holding his hand out to you and waiting for you to take it. "Will you join me?"

You stared down at his hand for a beat too long to be socially acceptable. It felt like you were about to make a deal with the devil, but Nathaniel had been nothing but kind. He had given you a shoulder to cry on and was now giving you a place to go so you wouldn’t have to spend another night on a park bench.

You knew it was probably a bad idea, but you still found yourself reaching out to take his hand.

"Okay," you reluctantly agreed. "I'll go with you."

You thought it would be weird once you found yourself in Nathaniel's apartment, but it felt oddly familiar. He had a guest room that he had designated as yours and made sure you could take whatever you wanted from the fridge. You didn't know how to return his kindness, but you knew you would have to find a way.

Nathaniel had gone out to get dinner while you waited on his couch, idly flipping through channels. You were starting to doze off, exhausted, when you heard someone calling for you.

You squinted at the television, wondering if you were hearing things, when it happened again. You had stopped on a news report, catching sight of the woman from the diner. You assumed she was a news anchor, but the way she was looking at the camera gave you the eerie sensation that she was somehow actually watching you. When her gaze drifted over, as if looking at someone behind you, you rushed to turn off the television.

You cautiously glanced over your shoulder, half-expecting to see someone standing there. But you were alone.

“Y/N,” the voice called again. It was faint, like they were outside, but close enough for you to hear.

“What the fuck is happening?” You growled, growing frustrated. “Where are you?”

You stood, wondering if you should go looking for whoever was trying to reach you, when Nathaniel walked into the apartment. He held up the bag of takeout and nodded towards the kitchen table.

"Ready to eat?"

Time dragged on as days and weeks passed. You still thought of Logan practically every waking moment, but Nathaniel had done his best to distract you.

You were grateful for him, because you didn't know how you would have lived without someone there to fill the void in your life.

You weren't sure what day it was or even how long had passed since you last saw Logan, but you knew that you had started to heal.

"Sometimes," Nathaniel told you once you voiced that thought to him. "You have to let something break so you can piece it back together to get something new. To get what you truly want. What is it that you want, Y/N?" Nathaniel studied you with the same unnerving intensity he always did and you hated to admit that you were finding it less weird each time it happened.

Logan was the first thought that came to your mind. You wanted Logan and you wanted your home and you wanted your family. You wanted to show Laura how to cook and you wanted to follow Wade into crazy situations, knowing that he would have your back just like you had his back. You wanted to crawl into bed with Logan at the end of each day knowing that you were wanted and cherished.

Nathaniel made a disappointed noise before he shook his head. "There's no going back," he told you "I'm sorry, but it's just not going to happen."

You didn't like the way he sounded so sure of himself. Nathaniel didn't know Logan and he didn't even really know you. You had spent weeks with him, but years of your life had been devoted to a Logan. Your Logan had been better, you knew it, so maybe you were the one who wasn't worthy.

Nathaniel made a tsking noise before he reached out. He wrapped his hand lightly along the underside of your jaw, his thumb pressed to the other side of your neck over your pulse point. He considered you for a long moment, as if he was searching for something.

"He left you," Nathaniel reminded you, as if it hadn't been eating you up inside since it happened. "You are special. You deserve to be cherished," he continued, and you started to worry about the potentially romantic direction he was going with his lecture. A brief smile flitted across his face, as if he could read your mind, before his expression slipped back towards something more serious. "You're lost and you're broken," he added, gently sweeping his thumb over your pulse point. "Let me put the pieces back together."

You weren't even sure if you trusted Nathaniel, but you had spent so long hurting that you were tempted to say yes.

You suddenly felt like someone had brushed their hand over the back of your head and you heard someone call your name. It was the same voice as before and you knew better than to look for someone you wouldn't find. But Nathaniel's eyes strayed just over your shoulder, as if he had heard it too. There was a brief flicker of irritation on his face before he gifted you with a sincere smile.

"I've got you," he promised. "No one is ever going to get near you again."

"Okay," you finally agreed, if only because you were curious about what he had in mind. You also couldn't deny that you were just so desperate to not fall back into that desolate pit of isolation you had begun to dig for yourself. Nathaniel saw you and he wanted you. There wasn't much else you felt like you could ask for now.

And if Nathaniel's sharp smile sent a shiver through you for all the wrong reasons, then you were the only one who had to know about that.

Nathaniel seemed insistent that in order to move on, you would have to make yourself stronger. To him, that seemed to mean training day and night, improving upon your power in new and terrifying ways.

You spent hours, days, weeks, stretching the limits of your power. Your power had always been meant as a defense, to protect and contain, but now you wanted to wield it as a weapon.

Your progress felt excruciatingly slow, but you had to admit that you were pleased with the results. It started simple enough with just a thought. You wanted your forcefields to hurt. The barriers you would have erected to protect yourself should also be used to hurt anyone who dared get too close.

Nathaniel had rented out an abandoned location in a strip mall and set up targets for you to use. More often than not, he was watching you, as if he was waiting for something. Other times, he seemed content to leave you alone, trusting you would have something new to show him when he returned.

You practiced on the targets, first forming forcefields around your fists and breaking anything that stood in your way. Nothing held up to them and you started growing bored of that tactic. You started to think that if you could form a forcefield, then it could be any shape you wanted. Spikes, swords, knives all began to adorn the edges of your forcefields, facing out and ready to maim anything that was in the way.

Nathaniel seemed eager when you first formed a forcefield that was outlined with spikes and used it to repeatedly stab holes into the brick fence that lined the back of the property. You were sure he was never going to get his deposit back, but he didn't even seem to care. He only encouraged you to think bigger and do more.

With time, you were even able to produce two forcefields at once. It was exhausting and drained all your energy, but you liked the idea of protecting yourself while also using a different forcefield to hurt an attacker. From there, it was only natural to think of taking a forcefield, forming it around an enemy, and turning the projected spikes inward, letting them impale your target without a way to escape.

You felt stronger and invulnerable. You had never thought to test your power like this, and the feeling was nearly intoxicating. Logan and Laura and Wade were still on your mind, but now you knew that you didn’t need them. Like Nathaniel told you, you could stand on your own and forge your own path ahead.

No one would hold you back now.

The first time you felt the full force of your own power was when Nathaniel was taunting you into a reaction.

"He doesn't care about you anymore. He's moved on with the true love of his life and you are nothing to him. You don't need him anymore. You can show him that you're better off without him."

There were targets surrounding you, but you didn't care about them. All you could think about was Logan and the stupid lovelorn look on his face as he looked at his wife. He looked like he had been saved. Saved from you and whatever pathetic existence he was ready to settle for in her absence. You deserved better and you wanted to rip that stupid look right off his face. You wanted to make him and her regret it.

You let out a scream of frustration, punching out with your forcefield at one of the targets, but it got carried away from you. All the targets snapped back, taken out at once from the blast. It carried farther out, nearly ripping the door off its hinges and shattering the front windows.

You looked at Nathaniel, where he was splayed on the floor, staring up at you in awe.

"You did it," he praised as he began to push himself to his feet. You crossed over towards him, holding out your hand to help get him up off the floor. “I knew you could do it.”

"What was that?" You wondered, breathless and ecstatic. Your power had never quite felt like that before. You wanted to try it again, the rush of it addicting. If you could hone that and strengthen it, then you could use it on multiple enemies at once. You could become nearly unstoppable.

"A repulsion field," Nathaniel answered, reaching out to rest a hand on your shoulder. "With time, I expect you'll be able to direct it and control it. You’ll be able to take out a whole city if you want."

"Shit," you breathed, still shocked that you had managed something like that. "I didn't think I could use my power in that way. It was...exciting," you decided with a grin at Nathaniel.

"I told you that you're special," he reminded you. "I knew you had that in you all along."

"Thank you," you found yourself saying. You considered the targets on the floor and wondered if there would be any more use in them.

"I have extras," Nathaniel assured you. "Want to try again?"

You felt a pleased little thrill shoot through you at the thought. "Fuck yes," you answered.

A week passed since you found out about the extra perk your power allowed you. You felt more confident and assured of yourself. Gone was the self-doubt and in its place was a feeling that you could defeat anyone or anything.

You were walking to the store with Nathaniel, thinking about what you might want to make for dinner. Nathaniel was being unusually quiet and leaving you alone to your thoughts. You wondered if something was wrong, but then you spotted her.

It was you. The other you. She was alone. No Logan or Laura or Wade in her vicinity.

You couldn't help the way you froze on the sidewalk or the fury that rose up swiftly enough you felt nearly sick with it.

She was to blame for everything. She had stolen your life away from you and now she got to be happy while you spent the rest of your life wanting someone you would never have again.

"Is that her?" Nathaniel asked, rounding back to standing at your side. "The one who stole your life from you?"

You nodded your head, attempting to keep a lid on your anger.

"Why don't you make her regret it?"

The idea was so simple, but so damn tempting. You could just imagine the look on her face when she realized she was incredibly outmatched now. You could destroy her within seconds and she would never be able to stop you.

You knew it wasn't something you should entertain. You had lived your whole life as a hero. There was a line you would have never dared to cross before but after everything that had happened, you were starting to realize that line was blurred beyond recognition. As far as you were concerned, she had stolen your life from you, and it was only right that she realized what a mistake that had been.

"You're better than her now. Stronger," Nathaniel continued, leaning in closer to you. "She can't do half of what you can. Show her what you've learned."

"I don't know," you tried to deflect. You wanted your revenge, but there was still a tiny voice in your head saying it wasn’t right. It wasn’t what you were supposed to do.

"Aren't you tired?" Nathaniel hissed, his hand coming up to clutch your shoulder in a near-painful grip. "Tired of being the doormat. The hero. The martyr. Don't let them get away with it. Don't let her walk away."

You didn't even realize you had made up your mind until you were walking up to the other you. She was checking out a display of plants that had been left outside of the market for customers to choose, but she seemed to sense your approach, because she turned to consider you.

You weren't sure what she saw when she looked at you, but her eyes went wide with fear, and she immediately pulled up a forcefield. You stalked forward, intent on your target. You didn't care if anyone was watching, because you felt like you were completely justified in your actions.

You passed right through her forcefield and pushed her back. She fell to the ground, staring up at you in terror. You pulled your fist back, forming your own forcefield around it. You let spikes form along the outside facing towards her. All you had to do was bring it down onto her face. It would be a killing blow, and you would never have to think about her again. Logan would lose the love of his life, but maybe he would come back to you. Maybe you could return to him stronger, better, and without any more competition.

For a moment, as you looked right into her face, it was like gazing into a mirror. The scar was gone, her hair was the same as yours, and you were wearing similar clothes. She looked just like you.

You were convinced that she was you.

And that made you pull back, horrified at what you had almost done.

Her eyes were closed, ready for a blow that you weren't capable of dealing any longer.

"I'm sorry," you whispered before stepping away, propelling yourself right out of her forcefield.

"Y/N?" Nathaniel called, pulling your attention towards him. "What are you doing? She's right there. Kill her," he demanded, his lips pulling back in a sneer.

You shook your head, feeling something indescribable but ultimately terrified swell within you. What had you become? What had Nathaniel done to you? You had let him so far into your head that you had almost done something unspeakable.

You made yourself go invisible before you took off running. You didn't know where you were going or where you would even hide, but you knew that you needed to get away from Nathaniel. He had pushed you to do more, be more, and you had never once stopped to think about which road you were heading down and whether it would lead you right to the point of no return.

You could hear Nathaniel yelling for you to stop and come back, but you didn't listen. You wanted to get away from him and just think. It felt like you had let him take up residence in your head and now you wanted to figure out how the hell to evict him.

You ran until you felt like you were going to collapse. You finally stopped outside of a library. You rushed inside, catching a glimpse of the news anchor flipping through a book as you went right for the back corner. Two bookshelves met there and you sank right to the floor in front of them. You dropped your head into your hands and forced yourself to take deep breaths.

"Y/N," you heard someone call. It wasn't Nathaniel and it wasn't anyone else you immediately recognized. But it was familiar. They had been trying to get your attention all along.

"What," you snapped, already feeling like you were on the verge of crumbling. Nathaniel had been right that you were broken, but who was going to put the pieces back together this time? It felt like Nathaniel had managed to piece them back together all wrong and you didn't even feel like yourself anymore.

"Y/N," the voice called again.

You closed your eyes and focused on the voice. You reached out for it, desperate for any sort of lifeline. It was a spark right at the back of your mind. You rushed to meet it, eager to figure out who had been trying to talk to you.

"My name is Charles Xavier."

You startled, nearly letting the tenuous connection between you and Charles drop, but finally throwing everything you had towards it.

"This world is a lie," Charles continued once he realized you could hear him. "Do not let him break you. They're coming to find you."

"Who?" You couldn't help but ask, hope and fear clashing inside you, threatening to overwhelm you.

"A rather odd group of saviors," Charles answered, a hint of amusement clear in his words. "But stay strong and do what you can to break free of his hold. He has a way to keep me out, so once he finds you, I’m afraid I won’t be much help to you. Just hold on until they get there."

You didn't know how you were going to get yourself out. You were starting to think it was hopeless, because you hadn’t even realized you were trapped in the first place. The more you thought about it, though, the more obvious it became that something had been wrong since the morning you woke up and Logan’s wife was sitting in your kitchen. The fact that she had come back from the dead, Logan’s quick dismissal of you, Laura and Wade both turning their backs on you. Nathaniel’s convenient timing and the way he watched you as if you were nothing more than an experiment for him. A pet mutant he could poke and prod and play with while you were none the wiser.

“Who’s coming to find me?” You didn’t dare to assume that you were worth the rescue, but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to know. You had to hold onto the one little spark of hope you could feel burning defiantly inside you.

For one terrifying moment, your mind was still, and you felt crushingly alone. Just when you thought you had been abandoned, Charles left you with one final word.

"Logan."

Author's Note: There will be a fourth chapter! Did I have you going for a while there? I felt so evil writing this. I truly did. If you liked this, please let me know. Not to sound needy, but comments/reblogs/etc. literally fuel me to write more and inspire me so much to keep coming up with fun stuff. Thank you to everyone who has shown this series any support! Also, if you would like to be added/removed from the taglist, just let me know!

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