#y'all this moment was HAUNTING
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Rambling abt a very specific moment in ep.10:
the heartbroken soldier looking at Vash through his scope, seeing through it only the monster that took his family
Vash lowering his hands means nothing to him, nor the expression on his face, mirroring his own grief
to Vash, I bet the bullet just punctuated the devastating mess of emotions he already got from the soldier's words alone and the heat of his glare :')
the sight of his parents' supposed killer through his scope, just taking in all his hate without a word or retaliation or self-defence
so easy to pull the trigger
Vash's hand on his fresh wound like he's cradling the bullet close and keeping it in, as he then turns his back to them all and calmly walks away....
did he see the empty look in Vash's eyes through his scope after that??? did the soldier manage to notice it, past the veneer of hatred he held onto so tightly?
the mirrored emptiness left within the soldier as he lowered his gun, after he exacted revenge, left with an outcome he'd probably thought about before ever since Jeneora Rock, and had likely been so sure would feel better than this
#trigun#tristamp#trigun stampede#tristamp spoilers#im losing my MIND!!!!#there were so many good moments in this ep tbh#and i hardly ever make a post of my own in general i mostly just reblog stuff#cuz people tend to express what i notice well enough#but i haven't seen anyone say anything about this yet so#y'all this moment was HAUNTING#I loved it sm!!!!! im gonna keep rotating it in my mind for a while now#trigun meta
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OWEN WILSON as FATHER KENT in HAUNTED MANSION (2023)
#owen wilson#haunted mansion#asgjlsdgk no real time to make anything today but couldn't go without wishing y'all a happy hot priest day 👀👀#please accept this hastily colored halloween set representing how bad i've been down for yet another one of this man's characters#as if i haven't known a moment of peace for years now lmao#god i'm so late giffing kent again but disney did me dirty streaming this the exact time loki started?? how can i not focus on mobius 😭#back to the usual lokius gifs tomorrow! love y'all <33#movieedit#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs#flashing cw
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I can't get over "This artwork relates to Mechi assaulting Mechi", like, I know Mechi III never got the chance to have his own name, but this just makes for one very confusing sarcophagus.
Oh, right. We also had shamblers to deal with. No matter, they go down pretty easily.
It's been a stressful day so it's no wonder the boys are getting snippy with each other, but... C'mon. You fucking dumbasses. You have the same ancestors!!!! I love them both so much they're so stupid
First | Next | Previous
#rimworld#gracie plays#A Mechanitor's Message#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#Rest In Peace Mechi III#you were with us for only a brief moment but I'm sure you'll haunt the boys for a long while yet#The shamblers are dealt with#the boys have gotten their frustrations out with some poorly-thought insults#now hopefully things can calm down for a little while#let's take a deep breath and hope Randy plays nice#have a fabulous day y'all!! <3 <3 <3
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dang.. so bee spent all this time getting back to her "home" (as you siad is not really her home) just to never feel anything again? to realize that the pepole she cared about and loved on fusionsprunt and on that planet and the happness she felt while being a robot/ humaniod being she would never feel again..
and she didn't know that reaching the point of becoming the comet again she would feel this way? this is so sad to me. if she cant think anything. if shes just there, like an infinite object, AND SHE CAN NEVER GO BACK EVEN IF SHE WANTED TO? 'PFJBKNSLGPDOJLVDSFJ (MB for the rant starbs, sorry if this makes no sense i panicked)
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#ALSO PICTURE THE THIS:#The reason B2 found a way back home is 'cause she had a reason to leave anyway#and at this point Hunter's told her the truth#some... very saddening and heartbreaking things happen from there and beyond and i'm gonna spare y'all from details-#but Bee must feel so conflicted about desiring a life with Hunter and Guto and also holding grudges after what he did#because though Bee was happy it was just because she thought things have moved on and her past wouldn't come back to haunt her#but it did and that betrayal surged from someone she loved so deeply#on one hand Hunter would've told her the truth on the very moment they reunited#but bcs Fusionsprunt needed protection and assurance he decided it was best not to risk losing B2 to Bortom City and starting another war#so he lied. and continued to lie. and lie more. until the war was over and the dust had settled#but that took so long to happen and by the time it was finally over Hunter started having doubts#should he be honest and tell the truth or should he let her be clueless and happy?#and oh boy being in love with Bee did play a huge part in this#he would have proposed to her that New Year if things were different.#fusionsprunt#inbox
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have i ever talked about how barton is genuinely jealous of people who seem happy because he feels so hollow a majority of the time that even when he's 'happy,' he's not really happy? because i just 😭 yeah...
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#yeahhh i'm hitting y'all with the angst now because although i could EASILY talk about how horrible barton is for a while...#he knows that he's horrible and he feels like a monster who exists on the outside of everything that is 'warm' and 'good' sometimes#and although it doesn't haunt barton as NEARLY as much as it should be he does sometimes spend days on end just. In bed and crying#because he feels like he physically CAN'T be normal like everyone else and that he has deserved every terrible thing that has happened-#to him because it he legitimately believes it was too late for him since the beginning. that merely born as part of the mathis family-#had pegged him for misery and causing people pain because that's what his father did as well as his father's father and likely-#even further back. and i just... UGH i am of course allowed to feel sympathy for a fictional character at times but it's such a double-edged#sword with some because even barton has these moments where he is not so bad and maybe even does something kind by another-#person you know? but he is self-destructive and sabotages his relationships + his anger is just. out of control and it's kind of sad#but also like... if you want something to change then you've got to do it for yourself. i don't think barton as a character right now KNOWS-#how to change though and that is honestly tragic in and of itself
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Thinking about this promo from pre-season one′s release and what it says about Callum’s arc. “His bravery will be tested”—what an interesting way for the writers to introduce us to his character.
His courage, or his ability to do dangerous and frightening things for the people he loves, is definitely such an interesting aspect of his personality.
#Thinking about 1x03 and 4x01 again#His decision to go and protect the egg instead of Harrow haunts me#He made the choice he felt capable making—and it was a good choice!#He just has to live with that decision of not seeing his father one last time.#Of not being able to do anything while assasins come for his dad's life#And I think of that and how directly involved he chose to be in Rebirthday with the 'plot against the king'#Against his brother#Because he can do something now!#He can go and be the courageous hero who saves the day!#It drives me fucking crazy y'all#Callum's bravery is something that we need to talk about more#The Rayla's promo thing is 'at the moment of truth what will she do?'#Like no one touch me#God his bravery???#Callum's bravery will be tested???#This in relation to 2x07????#Him choosing to use dark magic to save Rayla?? To be brave and do what he could???#His final decision to jump of the storm spire to save Rayla?#Like that's it. That's his bravery being tested.#And then *sobs* 4x04??????#THE POSSESSION????#HIS FREEDOM BEING TAKEN AWAY?? HIS ABILITY TO BE BRAVE??? TO HELP HIS FAMILY???#'I've never felt so weak and out of control'#DON'T LOOK AT ME#OH MY GOD#I'M FUCKING DYING#GOD AND THEN HIS ABILITY TO TAKE THAT FIRST STEP AND TAKE ACTION BEING TIED DIRECTLY TO RAYLA#Rayla called him a mage. She pushed him to do more. To be more. To 'be like Rayla' in his own eyes.#To have the strength to choose a narrative of love#To end the cycle
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LARIAT
LARIAT
LARIAT
KOJIMA
KOJIMA
KOJIMA
#hey did y'all know he's insane#top five moment from forbidden door it has haunted me for a week#cm punk
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"you're a mean/rude/etc. person" honey i hold back 99% of the things my brain wants to say, if you think i'm not nice now just wait until you fuck with me enough and i go straight for the kill.
i am so good at finding people's weak spots and exploiting them my father almost killed me one time, you don't scare me
#alex yells at the void#literally y'all have no idea how much fucking self control i need to have every single waking moment#or my bpd and cptsd would tear everyone in my path apart#including myself#and that last sentence is not a hyperbole btw#it's real <3#trauma dumping on main#that memory still haunts me and always will#im so tired of being nice i just wanna go apeshit and self destruct so hard i take everyone down with me
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"Please stop looking like my dad, it's freakin' weird," I whisper to my tv screen every time a movie with my dad's celebrity look alike comes on, because apparently this dude is in literally everything
#sorry y'all i have to share the cursed knowledge because I refuse to be haunted by it alone#cannot get a moments peace in this house anymore smh#cannot watch a movie without feeling like this actor is gonna ground me lol /hj#dove overshares things
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The End
Never had my max level 12 ass been more humbled than trying to complete that Nightmare of a Haunted House Quest during the Patch 0 days. Back when those friggin' cursed skulls were indestructible and hurt.
Every other Act 3 quest: Full-on Limitless Confidence, No strategy?Not fully rested? No worries, we're practically gods.
This Artist quest????: Put the fear of TPK back into me. What a wild Quest. I loved it. Shame they nerfed it. Truly the Ultimate DND experience.
Was the last quest I completed before the finale. Fitting to have the last reward be a painting of you. Real nice of the game to allow you to acquire a permanent physical copy of the 'old' you, just moments before becoming the 'new' you. Something real to hold onto instead of only having the memories of who you were before. A tribute to your past and a reminder of 'who are you?' in case you started to...forget. Fucked me up y'all, had to turn the bittersweet thought into something more wholesome.
#bg3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3#the emperor bg3#bg3 emperor#laezel#greygold#squid greygold#I had the portrait bit sketched out before the epilogue; recently added the beach bit. felt right to conclude story this way.#Greygold's only spooky because burglars can't see shit in the dark and Greygold keeps forgetting to turn on the lights at home for burglars#Is it rude to detect thoughts a dude? not as rude as burglaring a squid-dude's home.#Minsc in the Guild has done wonders for the crime organization and caught criminals#Thanks for reading Greyg's story; It's been a mind blast <3
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"Small gestures"
The Destined One x reader - headcanons about communication +really short oneshot at the end
Notes: it's basically @szynkaaa idea!!!!!!!!!!!! go and check their blog NOW!!!!!!!!!!! i'm currently working on another headcanons with the destined one and more serious oneshot, hope y'all will enjoy this
Warnings: fluff, kinda fanon the destined one? english is not my first language so i will prob make some changes later! i also exaggerated the situation in oneshot for the fluff, forgive me
travelling with silent destined one was difficult, but soon you realized that sometimes gestures can express more than words
at first it was hard to communicate, this barrier seemed insurmountable to you
but you quickly noticed that he wasn't trying to push you away or left you behind because of it, no - he tired to show you with small gestures that he actually cared
it started with slowing down a little so you could catch up or glancing at you to make sure you were still walking next to him
gently poking you with his hand or tugging your clothes to get your attention
stretching his arm to prevent you from walking further and signaling you to hide behind him. he always made the same gesture then
finding you a safe spot to hide when he knew a tough fight was coming
when an enemy apeared unexpectedly and you were in the middle of the fight, he bought you some time to escape somewhere safe
grabbing you by forearm to make sure you didn't get hurt (you have to tell him several times that you're fine, boy is worried)
all these little things made you understand him more and at some point you learned how to read his body language, gestures and face expressions; scratching his ear when impatient or confused, characteristically touching his nose when he's thinking and all those kind of things
you just knew what he wanted to say (but couldn't)
during this time, you didn't even notice how much you were getting closer and how much you cared for each other
he never made you feel like a burden and you always tried to help him as much as you can
you could talk to him about anything and he would listen to you carefully, making sure you feel comfortable
the destined one never would have thought that he would meet someone like you(and fall in love) during his journey
of course it isn't a flawless relationship because it's still a cheeky monkey that cannot stand 5 seconds without getting into a fight, but it's a story for another time
---
Leaving that cursed land of rats was something you had been waiting for a long time. Almost from the moment you arrived there. Sandstorms were hard to survive, let alone the mad rat king and his two sons. However, you quickly missed the sandy landscapes, because the next stop was a land covered with ice.
Journey to the next Relic wasn't easy. The snow was falling heavily, limiting your vision. The horizon disappeared, you could only see The Destined One figure forcing his way through the high layer of snow. You felt that your shoes were already soaked along with the lower part of your clothes.
Even though you were following the path beaten by your companion, you were moving slowly. You sighed heavily at the thought that you probably still had a long way to go and you could only dream about a break. How nice it would be to sit by the fire and warm yourself. Suddenly various memories started coming back to haunt you here, in the middle of nowhere.
You were pulled out from your thoughts by the familiar warmth. You looked to your left and met his shining eyes, staring into your red face. The Destined One was standing next to you, wrapping his arm around you. A slight smile appeared on his face.
"Sorry", you said quietly. "I'm slowing us down"
But he just shook his head as if he wanted to say that you were talking nonsense. With a firm move, he pulled you closer to him. Your bodies touched even more, you felt a pleasant warmth radiating from him. His hot breath spread across your frozen place. Even know you could feel his unique, but nice scent.
He noticed your tiredness and how chilly you were. You had been shivering from the cold for a while now. He wished he had something to cover you with, but all he could offer was his arm. You appreciated his concern and looking out for you. That alone made you not feel so poorly anymore.
"Thank you, much better now", you said with a smile. "We can go"
He nodded, clealry pleased with the answer. You to were walking together now, hugging each other. The road didn't seem so hard anymore and the snow slowly stopped failing. The horizon became clearer, revealing hugh mountains and old temples. You finally felt like you had made progress. Previous difficulties became only unpleasant memories.
The closer you got, the more the weather was getting better. It was still snowing, but it wasn't even that cold anymore. And yet you still walked together, hugged to each other, neither of you thinking about pulling away. While admiring the views, you told him some old story from your childhood about a hard winter in your village. When you weren't looking, he was admiring you in silence, enjoying the moment.
#black myth wukong#black myth wukong x reader#sun wukong#sun wukong x reader#the destined one#journey to the west#jttw
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On a less depressing note, the cast and crew's various behind the scene stuff makes Owen look like a cryptic that they sometimes manage to catch on film?? Half of those are like "oh look, Tom is attracting his attention. Quick, snap a shot!" and half is like "we took a group photo and this blurry smiling shape in the background proves that Owen Wilson is real".
Anon bless you for giving me anything at all to think about besides the Shakespearean tragedy that is the Lokius romance during this trying time 😂💖
Honestly you might have some powers of your own since normally you'd be spot on about Owen lowkey being a beautiful fever dream of talent that bikes onto set to enhance everything and everyone in his path but that behind the scenes pic Ke Huy Quan dropped today is possibly the cutest and most importantly clearest proof we have that OCW's oh so very real lmao, talk about timing 🥰
#reminds me of a fav owen bts moment when he was filming haunted mansion and the cast couldn't find him between takes#because he'd wandered off to look at a baby deer 🥺🥺#honestly a legend living his best life you love to see it!!#never gonna be another like him and i'm just happy to be along for the ride 💖#and thank you again for taking the time to send an ask that genuinely brightened my whole day bc what a treasure he is#hope you're well and have an amazing week ahead 💕#p.s. out of town and once again still trying to catch up with asks so hang in there with me y'all! lots of love <333#ask
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Shes choking here mind you, she's being choked, you can literally hear it, air being almost impossible to breathe in, yet she STILL reaches out for Elora, screaming for her and trying to get to her, she's not scared for herself at this moment. She just didn't want to lose her close friend.
Do you know how painful it is to scream without having enough air in your lungs?? You can hear the raw, brutal and burn of her voice.
and y'all were a little too quick to judge on why Mel slammed "kino"s face into the wall. No she's not becoming violent, the foe killed her brother and Elora, that's the least insane thing she could do at that moment.
And this poor woman hello??? I'm still not over all these frames.
The fact that she was panicked from DRIPPING WATER just makes me wonder how painful it really was, the torture she'd been through this entire episode was insane. I'm surprised we haven't seen her bruise or bleed at all throughout the entire season, makes me wonder if she has healing abilities.
What kills me the most is that even after being hurt both emotionally AND physically, she still thinks of others rather than herself, she only ever started worrying after she woke up, she was scared, panicking, yet she never speaks of her pains, she was upset over the death of Elora. That's all she thought of, not the horrors of being grabbed, but the horrors of being unable to move and do anything within her abilities to save her friend.
She'd always been like this, ever since the death of that unnamed girl that hangs over her head, death haunts her, that's the price of having been blessed by kindred apparently.
ALSO; I apologize for anyone who'd sent me asks, I've been really busy and ill try my best to get to them as soon as I can ♡
#arcane#mel medarda#mel arcane#arcane s2#arcane league of legends#arcane mel#arcane season 2#season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane act 2#arcane act two#arcane act ii#My baby#:(#she deserves the world#she deserves better#Someone take her to bed and tuck her in and give her a smooch on the head#*cough cough*#Jayce#*cough*#Yeah you go in bed beside her too.
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𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐞 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈
𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐭: 𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬
𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈
Pairing: demon!chan x fem!reader x demon!hyunjin Genre: SMUT NOTHING BUT IT aside from the tiny bit of plot Word count: 6.2k Warnings: Insomnia, lucid dreaming, demon!skz, sleep paralysis, possessive chan, jealous channie, jealous hyunjinnie, sin of pride Chan, sin of lust hyunjin, mentions of angel felix, aphrodisiacs kinda, overstimulation, dacryphilia, p in v, oral fem receiving, fingering, unprotected sex USE PROTECTION. Minho is very "scary", Changbin and Jeongin mentioned at the end >.> hyunjin is kind of a dick, i think that's all??
A/N: >.> I kinda went a little crazy... I hope y'all like it
Virtues forgotten dance in the mind. They linger on sleepless nights, bathing the purest rooms in red light as if it were iron to rust. Of humility and purity, in the lord we trust.
You stared around your room, putting down your phone and looking at your bedside clock. 2:47 AM it read. You weren't getting sleep tonight. Again.
You sighed and rolled over, pulling the blankets up over your head, shut the world out and sleep. Sleep did claim you after about ten minutes but it was a restless slumber, one that wouldn't do much to help you in the morning. It was a miracle you hadn't been laid off from work yet, always sleeping, always late, your work always looking like you didn't try.
You opened your eyes and looked around, you were no longer in your room, but a dark hallway, you walked down it staring at the walls. Who in their right mind put wood flooring for walls? Bright light was on your left and you shielded your eyes. What kind of moron puts lights in the w-
You stumbled cutting off your train of thought. You'd bumped your toe on something, your winced and rubbed your toe, looking back for what you hit.. a doorknob.
You stood, looking down. The person who built this place wasn't crazy, you were walking on walls like a spider almost.
You started walking again and then you heard a crackling surge of electricity before the light beside you burst. You shrieked in fear and jumped looking back as all the lights behind you shattered.
And then you saw it.
You saw them.
A pair of bright green eyes stared at you in the darkness.
You held your breath and stayed still. Maybe it couldn't see you.
Whatever had those eyes lunged for you. Quickly slimming the distance between you and it. You took off running the other way, as it grew closer and closer, light after light shattering before you could make out what it was.
You stepped on a door that was ajar and fell into the room, screaming as it dove in after you, the lights exploding, plunging you into darkness the only light its green eyes locked on you, growing closer and closer.
Hands wrapped around your throat as it finally closed the distance between you and you clawed at it in defense of yourself. Your nails throbbed in pain as they snagged on something and you tried to cry out.
As your vision blurred you saw a burst of light and the thing fell off you, you scrambled away and stepped out an open window in the darkness. Waking up with a scream.
You looked at your clock. it read 4:01 AM.
"You look rough." Your friend, Jaehwa said in the breakroom at work that day. "How many cups of coffee have you had?"
You racked your brain for a moment. "7-"
"That's enough." Soojin, your other friend took the cup from you. "Y/n. How long are you going to keep living like this?"
"Like what?" You look at your friends.
Jaehwa sighed. "Like you're being haunted by something."
You made a face.
"Maybe you should take a break," Soojin suggested. "Go out for drinks? Catch a movie? Stay home and sleep?"
You nodded. "I'll ask for time off next week I guess."
"You really need it." Jaehwa said, shaking his head.
"I'm going off next week so you might not be able to." A woman said behind you, stirring her coffee, "Someone's gotta write the story."
You returned to your desk, practically green with envy, and got back to work on your current article for the paper. But your fingers flying swiftly across your keyboard came to a halt. Your thought fogged. You felt like something was staring at you.
You felt vulnerable... Your breath picked up the pace and your eyes darted around for a moment. Then you saw it in the corner of your vision... A man with short, dark hair and piercing green eyes looking at you.
You almost shrieked.
Almost.
Instead, you sighed and threw paper over the divider between your cubicle and your other friend, Jake's.
"What was that for?!" he grumbled.
"Nothing." You shrugged feeling a bit safer now that there was someone else looking at you.
"You know.." The woman to your right leaned over and whispered very loudly. "If you're so scared.."
She could tell...?
"Write an article about the paranormal.." She nodded, fixing her big framed glasses and moving back to her cubicle.
You didn't say anything for a long moment. "Yeah maybe."
You got immersed in reading some interview record about a singer's affair and possible divorce when a paper ball smacked the back of your head, and you were pulled from the website you were reading on.
"Working yourself tired isn't any more healthy than overdosing on caffeine." Soojin grabbed you. "We're going for drinks, come with us."
"Like that's any more healthy." You rolled your eyes but let her drag you out.
In Jaehwa's car, another coworker, Joohyeong was singing loudly to the radio with Soojin.
"AH!" Jaehwa finally snapped and turned off the radio.
"Hey!" Joohyeong huffed.
"Turn it back on." Soojin reached to the front to turn it on and Jaehwa smacked hr and Joohyeong's hands away, only semi-paying attention to the road.
"Jae-" You started, as he came to an intersection.
"Lemme listen to the damn radio!" Joohyeong snapped.
"I will not listen to your horrendous voice." Jaehwa said.
The light at the intersection turned red.
"You're no fun!" Soojin grumbled as she reached from the back over the console for the radio.
The blare of a horn and the glaring light to your left made you scream. "Jaehwa!"
He whipped his head around and just as you thought you were dead the other car screeched to a halt, bumping the car.
You stared in shock for a moment...
"It's a miracle." Soojin breathed as the other driver reversed.
Jaehwa sighed. "Food?"
You opened your mouth to speak.
"Enjoy life now, worry about insurance later." He continued again and you relaxed into your seat.
You got to a small pizza place and looked around as Jaehwa ordered then sat to call his insurance company about the small dent in his car door. You closed your eyes for a brief moment trying to catch up on your thoughts, the blank darkness didn't last long. You saw a hallway a man sat in a chair, surrounded by red yarn. Like a spiderweb.
You stared at him for a moment and he tilted his head before pointing behind you. You turned and gasped as a man with light brown hair and furious red eyes raised a power drill and stared at you.
You took off running to the man in the string chamber down the hall but the man behind you was faster pouncing on you as you screamed. You hissed in pain as you landed awkwardly on your wrist. He turned you over and aimed to drive the revving power drill through your eye.
"Minho.." A sleepy voice said.
The man on top of you looked over his shoulder and you shoved him and sprinted. You crashed through the string and someone grabbed you and slammed you against the wall with such force it broke and you fell into darkness.
You opened your eyes with a gasp and grabbed your wrist, there was a dull aching there, Jaehwa, Joohyeong, and Soojin stared at you. You got up before any of them could speak and ran out of the restaurant, sprinting down the street and bumping into a very shady-looking man.
"Woah there." He grabbed your shoulders. "Calm down."
You tried to pull away. "I'm sorry-"
"I'm serious calm down, what's wrong?" He squeezed you a bit tighter and you tensed.
"Please let go of me." You tried to pull away.
"Where are you headed? Maybe I can take you there?"
"Please just let go." You pulled free and shoved him, backing up.
His eyes narrowed. "This is what I get for trying to help a senseless bitch." He grabbed for you and you put your arms up in defense of yourself. He gripped your face roughly almost choking you. "Stop being such a crybaby."
"Don't touch me!" You thrashed and tried to get away but he dragged you.
"You think you're so special, eh?!" He raised a hand to hit you.
You braced yourself for a blow... that.. never came. You opened your eyes and saw a man with dark hair and piercing eyes. A glint of violet in them making your heart race. The dark-haired man held your assailant's wrist.
"What?" Your attack fired at the man. "This your whore?" He shook your shoulder roughly.
"Release her." The man said.
"If I don't? You'll hit me, pretty boy?!"
The man tilted his head slightly. "You're quite cocky... Good for me."
Your eyes widened as his grip on the other man's wrist visibly tightened until you heard cracking. Your assailant screamed and crumbled to his knees.
"You litt-" he started.
"You don't fear death... do you?" The dark-haired man leaned down.
Your attacker's eyes widened and then he screamed in terror.
You stumbled back, looking between your attacker and the man.
The man finally released the writhing criminal and looked up, eyes meeting yours.
You held your breath for a brief second before you took off running.
By the time you got to bed, you were exhausted. Every muscle in your body ached and your head pounded. The moment you were situated your eyes drifted shut quickly. You opened them to a long dark hallway, the few lights that illuminated it were red. Your eyes widened slightly as you realized you weren't walking on the walls.
As you walked you noticed how quiet the place was, you could hear your own feet padding softly on the wood floor. You peeked into a room, seeing nothing but pitch black, then a blaring white light came on, a chandelier of circular lights and with strange images on the walls, you walked in and looked around the room for a moment before the lights in the hallway burst. You froze, staring at the door like a deer in headlights. And there he stood. The man who'd saved you earlier, albeit a bit different.
His hair was straighter a soft gingery color, and he wore all white. You could've said it wasn't him but there was the unmistakable glint of violet in his eye.
He tilted his head, staring at you. "You shouldn't be here."
You held your breath for a moment.
"You did a lot of screaming earlier. It's a little too quiet now don't you think?" He stepped into the room, his muscles flexed as he dragged the chains in after him, and the door slammed shut. "Well, aren't you going to thank your savior?"
"Savior..." You stared up at him. "What even are you, where am I-"
He reached out and hesitated. "Seungmin and Minho said the angel lingers around you.." he leaned in close, breath against your ear. "Where is he?"
"I don't know who you're talking about." You backed up, tensing as you felt a wall behind you.
"Godforsaken cun-" He looked back at you, stopping himself. "You haven't seen him yet?"
"I don't even know who you're talking about." You started rambling. "I swear I've never seen any angel or anything. I don't even know how I'm here or why. I-" You shrieked as his hand slammed against the wall beside your head.
"Answer the question you're asked." he said, eyes narrowing.
"No... I haven't seen him." You swallowed.
"Good." He grabbed your face gently, thumb rubbing over something.
You made a face.
"That man left a bruise.." he muttered.
"Oh- I-"
He rubbed the mark gently and smiled. "All gone."
You pulled away and cupped the side of your face, rubbing your jaw slightly. "Thank you..."
He raised a brow, smiling gently at you.
"For saving me." You shrank slightly under his gaze. Fear. You should feel fear. You should cower at whatever this man was but no, as he leaned closer your heart raced not out of utter terror. But something else..
His lips met yours gently. You stiffened for a brief moment before relaxing as his hand moved to cup your face, before his fingers entangled in your hair and he forced your body impossibly closer, tongue prodding for entry to your mouth and you granted him it. His full being shrouding your mind in dark clouds as he fogged your senses. His lips broke away from yours and kissed your jaw gently before you felt something sharp rake across your neck.
Your eyes widened but he sank his fangs in. You gasped. Was he a blood sucker? A vampire? EW!
He pulled away slowly and you grabbed your neck the area throbbed.
"What did you-" You started.
"Before anything else." His voice was in your head and you stared in fear. "You are mine."
You woke with a gasp and grabbed your neck. The area throbbing. You turned on your lamp and looked at yourself in the mirror, eyes going wide at the sight of a cross seated on a bruise on your neck.
You tried hiding the mark on your neck the following day with makeup. After you were positive it was hidden you went to work, only to be greeted by a "Y/N GOT A TATTOO!?"
You cringed. "Yeah..." What the fuck... I covered it. I know I covered it.
"She must've gone to the liquor store without us." Joohyeong sighed. "Got drunk and made a mistake."
"Yeah." You lied through your teeth as you sat.
"You know..." The woman in the cubicle beside you said, "It's not a bad look..."
You looked at her. "Thanks." You smiled tightly and turned to your work.
After an hour of diligent work, you went to the break room. You got hot water in a mug, about to make yourself a cup of instant coffee when you remembered what Soojin said and you made grabs for the tea instead.
As you opened the cabinet, a bit roughly, you reached in for the tea bag and the cabinet door swung back to your hand you were about to pull back to try and rescue your hand from the impending blow but the door stopped.
You stared at it for a moment, poking it. The door swung back gently. Your brows furrowed and you got the tea and turned to the mug, you opened the tea bag and set it into the water. When you moved to grab the cup, your hand bumped the counter and you retracted it in pain just as the scalding hot tea splashed onto the counter.
You blinked slowly then the memory hit you like a freight train. "Seungmin and Minho said the angel lingers around you.."
"Talk about a guardian angel." You hummed and cleaned up, grabbing the now much cooler mug and going to your desk.
Hyunjin made a face. Here I am protecting you and you compare me to that angel bastard...
You went home and stared at the mirror. The mark on your neck was very noticeable even if you covered it in makeup it seemed to resurface on your skin. You got in bed and stared at the ceiling. What if you ended up there again... Your eyes drifted shut after a while and for the first time in a long time, you dreamed a good dream. You were lying in a flower field, butterflies fluttering around under the sun as birds sang.
You turned and smiled at a blonde haired man next to you, his innocent smile filling you with such warmth as his lips moved. But you couldn't hear him. You looked back at the sky and reached your hand up.
The man beside you grabbed you gently, brows furrowing as he stared at you... at your neck and his eyes flicked up and met yours. He reached and pressed his hand to it pulling away with a pained expression.
Then you fell through the ground and everything became loud. You fell through the darkness grabbing for something, anything. Why weren't you waking up, usually you woke up, what was wrong?! You did grab something, you stared at the man. The one who'd marked you.
"You-" You started but he pulled you up with such force you stumbled as you landed, falling into his chest.
"Didn't I tell you you're mine?" He looked down at you.
You pulled back and pointed a finger at him. "I don't even know you! I don't know what you did to me but undo it!"
He blinked and raised a brow. "Did the angel give you the mouth to speak to me like that?"
"What angel!?" You shouted.
He grabbed you and pulled a flower from your hair. "You saw him."
You opened your mouth then closed it. "Who? Who are you? What is this!?"
He sighed and sat at a big desk, staring at you from his leather chair. "Come here."
You stayed where you were.
"I said 'Come here.'" He said lowly.
You walked to him. "What the fuck-" You hadn't wanted to move.
He hummed softly and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. "I wouldn't get too angry, you might wake Minho." He rubbed your thigh and gave it a soft squeeze.
"That doesn't tell me who you are." You stared at him.
"My name is Chan. I am as kind as you will ever get here." He said, moving a finger and opening a book on the desk "You're a very proud woman. Easily scared but proud."
You stared at him. "What are you?"
"Now you're asking the right questions." He smiled at you, squeezing your side gently. "I am the oldest of 8 brothers, Chan, sin of pride. At your service."
You blinked slowly. "I'm dreaming."
"Are you?" A soft voice said in your ear.
You jumped and Chan held you tighter.
"Hyunjin." he turned to the long haired man. "Don't scare her."
Hyunjin stared at you. "I'll do more than that." He smirked and turned to Chan's shelf. "She looks cute scared."
"Excuse me?!" You huffed loudly.
"Chan you see she's bound to get killed." Hyunjin hummed. "Let me have her."
Chan had a blank expression. "Who's going to kill her?"
"Minho is going to find her with how often she's showing us her rage. Just imagine how he'd tear her to pieces or feed her to the dogs."
"Hyunjin!" Chan shouted.
You stiffened slightly in fear, a man stood at the door. The man who had the power drill, whose eyes were an enraged red color.
"Minho." Chan said, looking at him.
You held your breath for a moment. The moment didn't last long as a trident spiraled straight at Hyunjin who shrieked as you covered your eyes, telling yourself it was a dream.
It's all a dream.
You woke up with a start, eyes flicking around in fear.
Sleep didn't come to you much after that. It wasn't that you ever fell asleep, you were too scared. At a company dinner later that week you met Juwon, he was very nice and seemed to understand your sleep problems.
"I know it's really unconventional, but have you tried running around your house? It's very tiring."
You giggled. "No, I haven't, I'll think about it though."
Juwon invited you out for drinks and he was a bit cute, but somewhere between getting shit-faced and falling asleep, you ended up in his bed. Of course, you got knocked out right after but the feeling of being well rested despite the soreness between your legs the next morning put a pep in your step the next day. Friday. Finally...
"That wasn't very nice of you." A voice whispered into your ear as you sipped your coffee in the break room.
You jumped, turning to see none other than Hyunjin, poking at the coffee machine. "How are you-"
"Shh." he smiled, "They might think you're crazy."
You pursed your lips as he leaned in close.
"I didn't think Chan's little human was such a slut." He said lowly.
Your brows furrowed. "You aren't real-"
Hyunjin rested his hands on either side of the counter, caging you in. "I'm very real, pretty." He said, pink eyes seeming to glow.
"How-"
Hyunjin kissed you. Your eyes widened and he pulled away. "It's not fair that he claimed you first... You summoned me." Hyunjin muttered.
You stared at him. What did he mean you summoned him?
Hyunjin grabbed your waist and lifted you onto the counter. "What I'd do.. If I had you..." Hyunjin muttered. Your eyes met and he smiled gently, "I'd worship you.." His hand moved between your legs.
There was something about his eyes that wouldn't let you look away. Something about his beautiful rose-colored eyes. It had you in an anaconda's grip. Your hand flew to cover your mouth as you moaned, Hyunjin was rubbing gently at your clit. When had he gotten your pants off... How had you let him...
"I want to hear you, y/n.." he muttered, lifting his finger to examine it before slipping it back into you.
You moaned and almost hit your head on the cabinet, Hyunjin grabbed you and pulled you to him. You held onto his shoulders tightly, whimpering and gasping as his finger moved in and out of you quickly before he added a second and a third.
He pulled back and kissed you hard, tongue dancing with yours as his taste filled your mouth. He curled his fingers against your g-spot and you moaned into his mouth.
You felt the knot in your gut tightening, dangerously close to breaking. You moaned louder, tears pricking the corners of your eyes.
"Cum for me.." he breathed against your lips.
You came, hard, it was an earth shattering orgasm the made your head go blank for a moment. He pulled away with a satisfied smirk and you whimpered, legs weak, trying to hold yourself up against the counter. You looked up and Hyunjin was gone.
But as you collected yourself and left the break room a voice in your head told you, "You've already sold your soul."
You fell asleep the moment you hit your bed that night, this was exhausting, trying to stay up purely out of the fear that you might not see Chan or Hyunjin but one of the other monsters haunting your dreams was becoming unbearable. You looked at your phone, 10:46 PM. You set it down and tried to sleep, expecting to barely get any, as usual. Then you felt it. The room felt warmer somehow.
You opened your eyes to a room bathed in a soft yellow glow, you looked around for a moment. A small fireplace on one wall and a desk to the left. You turned around and saw a plush bed, you walked over to it, fingertips gently grazing the soft sheets.
"You had fun today.." Chan muttered in your ear.
You jumped in fear. "Don't do that!"
"Says the person in my room without my permission." he huffed. You noticed then, his chest was partially exposed, more than half the buttons undone.
"You act like I chose to appear here." You rolled your eyes.
"The same way you chose to sleep with that human," he said, expression blank.
You didn't speak for a moment. "I was drunk.." You wondered why he hadn't mentioned anything about what Hyunjin had done.
"You're worse than Changbin.." He muttered under his breath.
"How prideful are you really if it bothers you? You must feel threatened." You shot before you could stop yourself.
Chan turned slowly, staring at you. "Repeat that?"
You didn't.
Chan walked towards you, gaze fixated on yours as you stumbled, the backs of your knees hitting the bed lightly. You fell back onto the plush bedding and Chan stared at you, pupils dilating as he took you in.
"He made you feel good?" He raised a brow.
You blinked. "I-"
"Answer." He leaned down.
"Yes.." You breathed.
Chan bit his lip and sighed deeply. "What did I tell you..."
"I belong to you." Your heart was racing, curse this demon with his beautiful face.
"Are you proud of yourself?" He traced a line down your pajama clad body and stopped at your hip.
You didn't know how to answer that.
He tilted his head, "Cat got your tongue?"
You swallowed.
"Move up." He said.
You did as you were told and scurried up the bed, staring at Chan as he climbed onto the bed, it dipped with his weight as he grew closer to you. "Chan-" You started but he pounced on you, pinning you beneath his weight.
"Did I say you could talk?"
Your stomach flipped. "No.."
He groaned and kissed you, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth tasting you. You whimpered into the kiss and grabbed the wrist of the hand he had on your face. His tongue clashed with you and you relaxed, yielding to him.
He pulled away, eyes wide for a moment as if mesmerized before he moved down and dragged your pants and panties off your legs. "He touched you here?"
You stiffened as his finger brushed over your clit, he stared at your womanhood, eyes unmoving. You thought he had no reaction, nothing to say at all to you until your gaze drifted to his crotch and you saw the impressive tent in his pants. A dull ache thrummed between your thighs and you looked up, squeaking slightly at the sight of a smirk on his face.
"You like what you see?" He teased.
"You-"
His finger found your clit again and you moaned. "Who do you belong to?"
"You.." You whined.
"Good girl." He dragged his middle finger over your folds collecting your slick. He stared at it for a brief moment before slipping his finger into you.
You gasped, bucking up slightly.
He let out a breath before his thumb joined the slow drag of his finger.
"Chan!" You whined, trying to move your hips for a faster pace.
"No, no." He tutted, holding you down by the hip and plunging his finger into you only a bit faster.
You squirmed, shuffling your hips a bit to take more of his finger into you. "Please!"
"Please what?" Chan tilted his head, that smirk on his face getting to your head.
"Fuck me.." You relented softly.
"What was that?" Chan hummed, finger still dipping into you with languid thrusts.
"F-fuck me!" You said louder this time, eyes pleading.
"Oh... Poor girl..." Chan reached his other hand to caress your face, it was a gentle action as if that same hand hadn't left bruises on your hip from how tightly he held you.
"Please.." You begged.
Chan let his head fall back before rolling it back to look at you. "How could I refuse you.." He rasped before drawing out his finger and shoving in a second.
You wailed and bucked, he smirked as his thumb found its way to your nub, moving over it in quick swipes and figure 8 motions over and over as his fingers fucked into you faster.
Your cries bounced off the walls and you feared for a brief moment, you'd be heard. Thighs shaking, pussy walls fluttering, you could feel the coil tightening in your abdomen. Your moans and pleas grow in pitch at your impending orgasm.
And then he pulled away.
"WHY!?" You sobbed.
"Don't worry about the others," Chan muttered, staring at the slick on his fingers. "They'll get their turn." He licked his fingers, tasting you and moaning softly before pressing them to your lips.
Your cheeks went redder if that was possible.
"Open." He ordered.
You did and he pressed his fingers to your tongue. "Suck."
You got wetter as you followed his command, your disrupted orgasm building again when he wasn't even touching you.
He smiled and shrugged off his shirt before lifting your legs. You gasped as he dragged you partially onto his lap, your heat level with his plump lips. "Did that human bastard touch you like this?" He breathed against your cunt.
Your walls fluttered helplessly around nothing. "No-"
Chan raised a brow.
"N-No.." You stammered.
"Has anyone?" He questioned, gaze darkening.
"No." You panted.
"Good.." His tongue slipped out giving your pussy a tentative lick before releasing a shaky breath into your heat.
Your cunt throbbed and you whimpered. Chan licked a big stripe of your pussy, tongue pressing flat against your opening and thinning to flick at your clit. You moaned and squirmed but he held your hips tightly tongue pushing between your folds as his finger rubbed at your clit. You felt the knot in your belly tightening again, you moaned louder, begging him not to stop and as if on cue. He stopped.
"Please!" You sobbed.
He pulled back after a moment staring at your womanhood slick with your essence and his saliva before gathering saliva in his mouth and spitting on your hole.
You tensed slightly at the impact, he rubbed three fingers against your pussy before sinking them into you and curling them to find your g-spot.
Your body jerked and he smiled, whispering. "Found you."
You gasped as he pulled away letting your body fall back flat against the bed, he spread his fingers every now and then stretching you.
"You like that?" He asked as he leaned over you, fingering you roughly.
You gasped and moaned, "Please please!"
"You wanna cum?" He asked, fingers losing rhythm, every few moments slowing.
"Ye, I want to cum Chan please!" You sobbed.
"Ohh. My poor baby." Chan cooed as your pussy clenched tightly around his fingers. He pulled his fingers out and slapped your pussy, not hard enough to hurt, but just enough to send a jolt of pleasure up your spine.
"Please Chan." You sniffed, tears filling your eyes.
"Fuck..." Chan pushed his fingers into you, his thumb working at your clit. "Don't cry baby." He said, resisting the shit eating grin that wanted to come to his face.
You mewled as his pace became furious and uneven, and as the pressure built in your abdomen again you begged, "Channie please, please let me cum."
Chan's eyes met yours and he leaned down, "I'm going to make you cum... This is my pussy eh?"
"Yes, yours!" You moaned.
"Doesn't matter who's in it, you'll come back to me, because you belong to me!"
You nodded, brain fogging and pussy clenching.
"Say it." He grabbed your face. "Say it!"
"Yours I'm yours!" You screamed as the band in your belly finally broke and you came hard, eyes rolling back as you let out a broken sob, Chan kept fingering you, stretching your orgasm thin. "Too much, Chan oh god!"
"Too much yet your pussy is still taking my fingers so greedily." He taunted, fingers slowing to a deep drag between your walls.
You trembled, panting and trying to collect your mind.
"That human can't make you cum like that can he?" Chan asked, pulling his fingers out of you.
You shook your head, dazed.
"Glad you know, I might just ruin you for anyone else." Chan pulled off his pants and boxers, exposing his thick length.
Your eyes widened slightly. "I-" Of course, you'd stare, no wonder he'd spent so much time prepping you, he was big. Big enough to make your pussy clench on nothing while your stomach flipped. No wonder he was the sin of pride... he has something to be proud about alright.
Chan smirked and got between your legs, taking hold of his manhood and slapping it against your sensitive clit, huffing a small laugh at the whimper you let out. "Cute.." He breathed, rubbing his length against you. Then he lined himself up and sank into you, brows furrowing.
You gripped his muscular arms, nails digging into his perfect skin as he split you open, going in deeper and deeper, slowly. The stretch was a lot, you panted and bit your lip, Chan's eyes were fixated on the way your pussy gave way to his length, his tip met your cervix and you gasped. He held himself there for a moment, letting out a breathy moan before pulling out slowly, letting out a low almost growling moan. He lammed back into you, knocking the air from your lungs.
His body pinned yours to the bed, rutting into you over and over as your moans filled the room, the bed creaking under the force of his thrusts. His lips hovered over yours, breath mingling as your eyes met, your walls clenched at the intimacy of it. Chan smirked and kissed you, tongue roaming your mouth and tasting every part of you. A grunt or groan responding to your moans and whimpers.
He pulled back and grabbed your shirt, lifting it over your breasts, to watch the way they bounced with every thrust. Your hands reached down wandering helplessly, aimlessly as you tried to get your bearings. Chan clouded your senses, completely fogging your mind, all you could think about was how his dick stretched you, the way he bruised your cervix, fucking into you mercilessly.
"Feels good baby?" He asked, grabbing your arms and pulling you into his thrusts.
You couldn't make a sentence, brain was completely turned to mush by the man- demon above you.
"Look at you..." He grunted. "All dumb on my cock."
You couldn't keep your eyes open, it was too much, you felt the pressure building again and you clenched your fists in Chan's grip.
"Fuck-" Chan grunted and you opened your eyes looking down, you moaned as he pushed in completely, gaze glued to the way your tummy bulged slightly with every thrust. His free hand roamed over your tummy before pushing down gently.
You moaned loudly and your walls clamped down in an orgasm that knocked your brain off the rails. Your fluids coating his lower abdomen and cock. You let out a choked sob as Chan kept pounding into you.
"It's too much!" You moaned.
"Take it." He growled.
Your eyes widened as he pinned your hands above your head, not letting you recover from your orgasm as his cock hit you deep. "CHAN!"
"I'm going to put a baby in you," he drawled, almost drunk. "You want me to fuck my seed into you?"
You moaned and couldn't figure out how to respond.
"I'm going to fill you with my seed, make you a mommy." He grunted.
Your pussy clenched hard, and Chan came hard inside you, pelvis meeting yours as he released rope after rope of his seed into you, letting out a stifled whimper. His climax pushed you over the edge and you spasmed, tears clouding your vision.
Chan pulled out, releasing your wrists, and stared at you laying there, pussy clenching around nothing. He adored the sight of you ruined, by him... he wanted to do it again but he restrained himself. yet as your legs trembled he stared with wide eyes at your pussy leaking his seed.
You gasped as he flipped you onto your belly and lifted your ass, pushing your shoulders down, making you arch your back. He gave your butt a sharp slap then gripped the flesh. He took his cock in his hand and collected his cum on the tip. "Don't waste my seed.." he said lowly before shoving his cock into you, hips smacking against your ass.
You moaned into the pillow, gripping the sheets as he pushed his seed deep into you. Chan groaned at the way your backside jiggled from the impact of his pelvis, eyes watching intently as your pussy swallowed his cock. He leaned forward grabbing the headboard and grunting as he fucked into you harder. You came quickly, sobbing and babbling into the pillow from overstimulation. Chan kept rutting into you, you could feel every pulse and throb of his cock before he came inside you again. Groaning as your cunt squeezed the life out of him. He fell onto your teeth latching onto your shoulder to muffle the strangled whine that escaped his throat. You lay there panting and trembling as he pulled out.
You felt the bed dip as Chan moved, getting up to go somewhere. You hadn't been expecting much from a demon. The demon of pride no less, he didn't time for a human like y-
You felt the bed dip as Chan returned, cleaning you with a damp cloth. Your heart fluttered.
He left again for a moment before coming back and hugging you to his chest. "You're mine." He muttered against your hair.
You were quiet for a long moment before you whispered, "... before anything else."
When you woke up, your heart stopped. It was still dark out. But you couldn't move a muscle. And then you saw it in the corner of your vision... a pair of bright golden eyes staring at you. Closer to your door, the shadow of a shorter muscular looking man.
"Jeongin," a gravelly voice said, "I can't believe Chan kept this all for himself."
© 2024 xxkissesforchanniexx. DO NOT COPY OR TRANSLATE MY WORK
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Chapter 1: I Need You Now But I Don't Know You Yet
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!Reader, Reader POV
Summary: With a birthday printed on your wrist that happened over a hundred years ago, you always thought that you were cursed to never meet your soulmate. But when you finally meet the man that's supposed to be the other half of your soul, you wonder if the stars were wrong, and wonder how this man was meant for you. Reader is Hughie's sister, is not a supe, and is a Literature Professor that gets dragged into the middle of things. This fic takes place in an AU set loosely after Season 3 and does deviate from the plot of The Boys
Tropes: Soulmate AU, Little bit of Grumpy and Sunshine, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy, Jealous Ben/Soldier Boy
Warnings: Self deprecating thoughts, Little bit sad, Cursing, Mentions of drinking, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Death, Loneliness, Longing, Basically the reader just wants to be loved, Reader wears glasses?, Soldier Boy might be a little OOC.
Word Count: 6.3K
Song Inspiration For Chapter: IDK You Yet (Title of chapter based on song) Y'all should listen to this song because it fits so well!
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal Monologue Is in First Person And Is In Italics
A/N: Guys you have no idea how excited I am about this story! It's already shaking up to have a TON of my usual angst, but I'm not surprised.😅 I'm also a little disappointed. I read a soulmate AU fic forever ago for Joel Miller where the birthday was printed on the reader's arm and I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called or find it. If y'all know what it is, please let me know. I'd love to read it again and give the writer a little bit of credit for inspiration. ❤️
Main Masterlist
Series Masterlist
January 24, 1919
The date on your right wrist haunted you, the bold black numbers mocking from the moment you learned what they meant. It had to be a celestial mistake, a misprint, something wrong in the stars that shone so brightly over others, but dulled above your head.
Sometimes you thought you were cursed, that some mystical being before your birth marked you, scarred you, and made you carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders.
That whoever it was made you different on purpose and you hoped one day you understood what that purpose was.
You'd never met someone born with the same dilemma, to be saddled with a soulmate that was born over 100 years ago, and yet here you were.
You'd heard it all growing up, the hushed whispered "freak" from your schoolmates, the odd looks from your neighbors, the pitying frowns of your parents who had known each other since pre-k, and the hug from your older brother as he whispered the familiar phrase “it‘ll be okay" to soothe you.
But you always wondered…
When would it be okay?
You watched all your friends find their happy endings with their soulmates, the birth years printed on their wrists at least within the same few decades, but not you.
You were alone, different, cursed.
The date printed on your wrist made you different, because no one else had a soulmate that was born so far in the past.
Your soulmate's birthday brushed on your skin only brought a wave of disappointment every time you saw it, because what the hell did it mean? 1919? That meant that your soulmate would be over 100 years old when you met him, whoever it was.
If you even met him.
No one lives that long. My soulmate should be long dead. He can't still be alive. Can he?
Each year that passed was like another nail in the coffin, but you celebrated the birthday of your supposed soulmate with a cupcake and a beer, locked away in your apartment to shut out the jeers of those who knew your particular dilemma. And each year when you blew out the candle you wished that it would be the year you met him, but now you weren't sure it would ever happen.
Because it was impossible.
You didn't understand why you were different, why you were chosen to have a soulmate that was long dead. Maybe it was true, maybe you were born late, born under the wrong sign, or maybe you really were cursed.
You'd heard the stories of people who never found their soulmates, urban legends really, but it didn't make you feel any better. The stories of people who wasted away to nothing, driven to the point of insanity because they never found the other half of their soul, alone for as long as they could stand it before they finally crumbled to dust.
You refused to be like them, turning to books for solace and hoping to escape. Slipping into the pages and into other worlds where people found their other half to leave the loneliness that haunted you behind.
And in that solace your found your true love, literature. It wove around you and brought you peace in a world where you felt lost and different.
When you moved away from the small town you grew up in, you got a job as a Literature professor, reading the great works of others, while trying to forget about the date on your wrist and the soulmate you longed for each day.
It was incredibly lonely to think that you'd live your whole life with only one half of your soul.
Every time you opened a book from the era your soulmate was supposed to be born in you wondered if he had read it, wondered what it was like to live in that time, and imagined what it would have been like to be there with him.
Each day you covered up the date on your wrist with a splash of foundation and playfully laughed it off whenever someone asked you if you'd found your soulmate yet. All the while spending year after year fading just a little bit more as you lost the last pieces of hope that you'd ever meet him.
One Year Ago
You were running late. Frankly you were always running late, but in the city that never sleeps it was to be expected.
It was supposed to be a big day. You had about a hundred papers to grade, a test to proctor, and three lectures to give, but you couldn't complain about your job, you loved it. Loved the groans of your students whenever you announced a test or an essay, loved the soft evenings where you read papers with a cup of tea and learned what in the assigned text was special to your students, and loved to teach from the books that had become home to you, the books that tried to heal your wounded heart.
But today something was different.
Something nagged at the back of your mind, as if you had forgotten that something else was supposed to happen today.
Haircut? No that's not it.
You think as you walk to the large wooden desk in your living room/bedroom. It was technically a dining room table, breakfast table, and your desk, but you'd loved it since the moment you found it tucked into a corner of an antique store in Brooklyn.
Your small studio apartment was quaint, the bedroom and living room divided by a large mid-century wooden screen that you had bought for twenty bucks at a thrift store the weekend you moved into your apartment five years ago. The living room only housed a plump cream colored couch that faced out the window towards the living room window that gave you a spectacular view of the alley between your apartment building and the next. Sometimes you got to watch the couple in the apartment across from you having a terrific fight and then got a front row seat to the loud make-up sex they had almost immediately after.
Large stacks of books dominated every wall stretching up as high up to the ceiling as they could reach, some were pressed against the exposed brick walls, others serving as the base for the coffee table you’d made with a vintage window, and of course there was one stack that towered high above your bed on top of your bedside table. You didn't own a tv, not when you spent most of your time reading.
Being a English professor meant that you could never have too many books not when they were like old friends that pulled you in whenever you opened their yellowing pages.
Meeting with the head of the English department? You bite the inside of your cheek as you shove your notebook, planner, pencil case, and laptop into your leather messenger bag. No, that's on Thursday.
You'd been working on a research paper that you hoped to publish about the Modern Period of Literature in America, but the head of the English Department wanted to see how much you'd done. In all honesty the only reason why you'd started studying the Modern Period of literature was because it was supposedly the time period in which your soulmate grew up and you thought that it would give you some insight into what his life was like.
And despite your being an expert on that time period, the head of the English Department did not share your enthusiasm for it. The only thing the head of the English Department had any enthusiasm for was his self-published book of erotic poetry and staring at your legs for too long while making subtle attempts for you to sleep with him even though he was married.
You fight the wave of revulsion with the memory of the last time you had a meeting with him and give yourself a once over in the mirror hanging on the bathroom door that faces in to your living room. You looked the way that you always did, maybe a little more frantic than usual, but that was expected given the fact that you were running late.
Today you had decided to wear your favorite dark green chunky sweater that you'd knitted yourself, a dark gray argyle midi-skirt, chestnut brown ankle high-heeled leather boots, and your traditional pair of circular black-rimmed glasses.
It's going to be a good day. You smile at your reflection. Yeah, if I could remember whatever the hell it is I've forgotten.
You roll your eyes and grab a bagel from the bag on the counter.
No time to toast it.
You think mournfully before shoving it between your teeth as you run out the door, slamming it behind you so hard that it rattles the watercolor botanical framed prints on the inside wall of the apartment.
"Late again?" Your neighbor, Mrs. Charleson, asks opening the cheerful yellow door of her apartment.
She was wearing her traditional pink cat eye glasses and had her wavy gray hair pushed back by a floral headband. When you'd moved in five years ago, she had brought over some cinnamon swirl muffins and a pot of blueberry tea. She'd just lost her own soulmate and husband of sixty-five years and was looking for a friend about as much as you were.
And although she had about eighty cats, all of which who were named after literary figures (your own cat was named Heathcliff), and often smelled like mothballs, you enjoyed spending time with her. She knew about your dilemma and didn't judge you for it. She didn't throw you a pitying look or make outrageous comments about why you'd been chosen to never meet your soulmate. If anything she acted like the way you thought your mother always should but never did. Not with judgement as your mother did, but with concern and love.
"Always." You shout back, muffled around the sesame seed bagel, stamping your foot to get your boot in the right position.
"Tea later?"
"Mhmm."
"Get some earl gray macaroons!"
You make it down the stairs successfully without falling, before throwing yourself against the door that leads into the black and white tiled lobby. Your high heeled boots clack loudly against the floor and you step out onto the crowded sidewalks of the early morning.
Fall was just beginning in the city, your favorite season. The leaves in Central Park were turning reddish brown and yellow and there was a wonderful chill that swept through the crowded streets.
You wove through the people, walking in the direction of NYU and looking down at the antique wristwatch perched on your left wrist to confirm what you already knew- that you were going to be late for your 8:00 am lecture on 20th Century American Romantics.
Shit.
The city is lively for a Monday morning. The chatter of people on phones, the buzz of traffic, the high pitched screech of horns, and the smells of the city wafted over you. It was so different from the small town you grew up in, but you loved being here. Here no one knew you, no one judged you, no one muttered something under their breath about you, and no one grabbed their children and crossed the street as if you were contagious.
You felt free.
You round the corner still looking down at your watch, weaving in and out of the foot traffic the best you can, when someone bumps into your shoulder. Whoever hit you was solid, broad, and much taller than you. The bagel drops from your mouth as you jostle from the bump, and you let out a low groan.
There goes my breakfast.
You look up prepared to curse out the offender when you stop. Whoever it was hadn't stopped moving, but you catch a flash of his bright green eyes as he passes, meeting yours for only a moment.
But that moment seems to last a lifetime.
He was tall with wild dark brown hair so long it touched his shoulders and a scraggly beard that fell over his chest almost to his collarbones. He looked dirty, almost worn, and was wearing a faded maroon track suit that had some writing on the sleeve in another language that you couldn't place. But his eyes were a brilliant green, so beautiful that they took your breath away.
As soon as his eyes meet yours, your skin hums, body lightening, warmth unfurling like the petals of a flower in the center of your chest curling outward reaching for the sun above. All sounds of the city vanish, leaving you only with the manic thud of your heart. Everything in your body turns towards the man, cells vibrating, reaching out, wanting more, begging you to grab him and hold him close. Electricity pulses and dances along your skin making your hair stand on end and goosebumps erupt along your flesh.
The birthday inscribed by the stars on your wrist sears against your skin like a brand beneath the foundation you smeared over it this morning. You look at him as if seeing for the first time, as if the past years of your life have been colorless, as if you'd been living in a cave for centuries and he's your first glimpse of sunlight, and as if you'd never seen the stars and he's the midnight sky.
You'd never felt any of this before.
The man's eyes widen as he looks at you, people passing between the two of you in a faceless blur, and you wonder if he feels it too.
He has to…
But the man shakes his head and turns his back on you continuing on his path down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, adjusting the strap of the bag on his shoulder as he goes.
"Wait-" You start to say, but your phone rings loudly in your pocket breaking the spell, and as you look down to retrieve it, you lose the man in the crowd.
What the hell just happened?
The rest of your day is chaotic, almost a blur, your body still humming from seeing that man on the street, wrist aching where the birthdate on your wrist burned against your flesh so hot that it seared through the foundation you brushed meticulously over the skin this morning to cover it up. It was no longer black, but flashed a brilliant gold with every shift of your wrist in the light as you moved your arm when teaching, peeking out beneath the sleeve of your sweater. Every flash distracted you from your lecture. Even your TA, Tate, who sat in the front row of your class began to notice how often you lost your train of thought.
You barely got through your 8:00 am lecture, stumbled through you 9:00 and 10:15, and canceled your 2:00 class much to the chagrin of your students who were expecting a test.
When Tate finally asked you if you're feeling alright, you wave a hand and tell him to take the rest of the day off, while you barricaded yourself in your office and stared at your wrist for hours, running your hands over the golden date confused. The birthdays always shone gold after two people found one another, and when your soulmate died, it went back to black, as if a reminder that the world had faded.
It was weird to see it shine so brightly when you'd lived your whole life staring at the mark and wishing for it to go away.
But he's not here, he's gone. I don't know where he went or how to find him…
Your friends back home described finding their soulmates before, tried to explain to you what it was like when they locked eyes with them for the first time, but everyone was different. No one could describe exactly how they felt when it happened.
Deep down you thought that it should feel like what happened when you locked eyes with the man on the street, like nothing else existed, just him and you but-
He acted like it was nothing like I was just another person and not the other half of his soul.
You swallow the lump in your throat, emotion from a lifetime of disappointment building, and finally the tears begin to crest and fall over your cheeks. You'd never heard of a one sided soulmate before, of only one person feeling drawn to the other one.
Then again, I've never heard of someone printed with the date of a soulmate who was born so far in the past.
Seeing him for the first time was like taking a bullet to the chest, the sharp spike, followed by the force of gravity jolting you into reality.
But why him?
You think again about how weathered he looked, like he'd been living under a rock for the past hundred years. And then you see the flash of his brilliant green eyes again in your mind, just for a fleeting moment, but it's enough to make the warmth trail along your skin, like the soft caress of a lover.
Was he really born in 1919? Or was this just another joke? Another way for the universe to laugh at me?
Frustrated tears blur your eyes as you stroke the birthdate on your wrist, heart breaking all over again, because it seemed that even if you had found the man the universe designated for you, he didn't care.
One Year Later: Present Day
You sigh loudly and hold up another dress in front of your body looking at yourself in the mirror. You had no idea what you were going to wear to Annie and your brother Hughie's housewarming party and you only had about another thirty minutes before you had to leave.
Your brother had been living in New York longer than you had, but he still made time for you. The two of you got lunch every week and it was your fault that he met Annie.
Meeting her yourself had been a complete fluke. You'd been sitting at your favorite bench in Central Park by the pond, reading your favorite book, allowing the gentle prose of the author to whisk you away for a few minutes, when someone sat down beside you and promptly began to cry.
And when you asked her what was wrong she'd told you everything about her problems at work and although you'd never been the best at comforting other people, you'd taken her to the closest coffee shop and the two of you had bonded over Chai Tea lattes.
You'd invited her over to watch a movie with your brother one Saturday night and then had a front row seat when the two of them realized that they were meant to be together. You'd tried to be happy for them, but the whole time Annie gushed about Hughie and Hughie stared at her like she was the last glimpse of the sun before it dropped below the horizon all you could think about was that it would never happen to you.
And now one year later, the two of them were finally moving in together in a fancy apartment uptown and you didn't want to imagine what the rent was. Your own studio was enough for you and you were lucky enough to have one that was rent controlled.
But you figured due to Annie being one of the Seven, she was probably making more than your measly teaching salary could ever amount to.
Learning that she was Starlight had been surprising, you weren't a supe, not even close and you didn't want to be. You had your hands full with teaching college kids, and didn't want to think about what it would be like to have superpowers or really what you would do with them. You certainly didn't need them to be a teacher and you didn't want to have them.
Plus, you always worried that you'd get some weird power like shooting webs out of your butt or making it rain blood. You didn't want to take that chance and shooting up Compound V felt like Russian Roulette.
You also worried about your brother working so closely with supes. The two of you hadn’t met any growing up and you worried that he was putting himself in danger every day when he went out to deal with them. But you were happy that Annie went with him, because you knew that she wouldn't let anything happen to him, she loved him too much.
As you hold up a black dress in the mirror you see a flash of the golden birthdate on your arm, and you're unable to fight the emotion that builds in your chest when you do.
It had been a year since it happened, since you locked eyes with a complete stranger on the street and felt your soul intertwine with his and he turned his back on you.
You'd understood that.
Understood that for some reason he decided to turn away like you meant nothing to him, like you weren't the other piece of his soul, and like a part of him didn't call out to you, a lighthouse over a stormy sea to a sinking ship.
It had broken you more than the first time you realized what the date on your arm meant. It always seemed ridiculous that something that brought happiness to millions of others made you feel broken, like there was something wrong with you.
And in that moment on the street something felt right for a few seconds, you felt whole for the first time in your life, only to have everything dashed against the rocks all over again.
But you hadn't forgotten him, couldn't forget him. His green eyes haunted you and each night you dreamed of him.
You saw pieces of his life, his memories, felt his pain, his anger, his frustration, and deep down his fear whenever you fell asleep. You'd never heard of that before, of a soulmate dreaming the memories of another.
You'd asked your neighbor, Mrs. Charleson if she had dreams of her soulmate's memories, she'd said no, but then she said that she'd heard about it, thought that it was only a myth, but it meant that the souls were fated to spend more than one lifetime together.
As if you knew what that meant.
It had broken your heart even more when she said that, because if that were true why did he turn away?
How could he turn away? Why did he leave me standing in the street and acted like I wasn't his other half?
It made you think that maybe he wasn't impressed with you and that he was disappointed that you of all people were his soulmate.
You'd had a mental breakdown at Mrs. Charleson's apartment when you went home early the day you met your soulmate or whatever the hell he was.
She'd made blueberry tea and rubbed you back. And when the tea hadn't worked she had cracked a bottle of red wine and ordered greasy takeout food that the two of you ate on her floral couch while her cats circled like sharks looking for a piece of your chicken and broccoli.
You would have called Annie, but she and Hughie were out of town on a long weekend getaway.
And when you went back to your apartment and crashed into your bed, you'd dreamt of him for the first time.
The memories you'd seen when you closed your eyes that night were not happy at all. You'd seen the early years of his life being berated by his father, years of him drinking and fucking his sorrows away, and then the worst, him being tortured in what looked like a lab. He was a supe, that much you could gather from the memories. But they were filled with pain, suffering, frustration- you'd never met someone who'd been through so much before. Endured so much torture.
You still didn't know his name, didn't see enough of his life to figure out who he was, only that he was different than you in almost every single way. The memories were terrible, filled with blood, death, and pain. It scared you to see your soulmate that way, see him so angry and see him hurt and kill people. You couldn't imagine the kind of man he was, the kind of man who could burn someone beyond recognition and feel absolutely nothing.
It was confusing. You didn't understand how someone who was supposed to be the other half of your soul, was the complete opposite of you. Someone that was filled with so much rage and pain was the man the stars declared was for you.
It doesn't matter anyway. He saw you and didn't want you.
You ignore the lump of emotion in the back of your throat and hold up a navy blue dress, but you hang it back in your closet with a sigh. Nothing seemed to be appropriate for you to wear to the party and you hadn’t been shopping for a new outfit in ages. Not to mention you knew that no matter what you wore Annie would look flawless.
You loved your brother's soulmate, but sometimes you were intimidated by how pretty she was and how together she was. It made you a little self-conscious about the long skirts, sweaters, and blazers you wore when you were at work and you were not together at all.
You seemed to always be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, frantically running from place to place and trying not to lose the last bit of sanity you had left. While Annie was confident, poised, and glided into each room.
Finally, you reach for a pair of your favorite blue jeans and the same green chunky knit sweater you were wearing the day that you saw him for the first time. The sleeves were long enough to cover the mark on the wrist. You hadn't told your brother or Annie about that day and you didn't want them to see the golden date on your wrist and ask you where your soulmate was.
Guess I'm going a little more casual today.
On your way out you give your cat, Heathcliff, an affectionate scratch behind the ears and grab your purse. You were running a little early this time, early enough to pick up a Snake Plant around the corner at your favorite plant shop, 'Please Don't Die,' as a housewarming gift and then stopped at the liquor store next door to grab a bottle of Annie's favorite wine.
You figured that you'd end up staying late and drinking wine with her long after the party was over.
Hughie opens the door of the apartment when you knock. "Thank God you're here! Annie is freaking out and driving me up the wall-"
"No I'm not! I'm just expressing all the things that have to be done within the next five minutes or I really am going to go crazy!" You hear his soulmate shout back when Hughie lets you in.
The apartment is fancier than yours, all white walls and glass windows that display a view you would kill for. Your brother is wearing a nice light blue button down shirt and navy tie, and his hair is it's usual fluffed and curly self. He looks happy and it warms a piece of your heart because you knew how much that he deserved it. And that's all you wanted for your older brother.
Annie appears, wearing a white dress that wraps over one shoulder and falls to her ankles, effortlessly elegant as usual. It made you feel self-conscious that you'd worn jeans, when Annie was wearing something that made her look like a Greek goddess.
"I am so underdressed." You mutter to yourself
"No! You look great babe. I love those jeans on you." She smiles pulling you in for a hug.
"Well-"
"But please let me do something with your hair." Annie touches the messy bun at the back of your head making a face.
"What's wrong with my hair?"
"Nothing, I'm just going to spruce it up a little bit for you."
"But-"
Annie pulls the bottle of wine and the plant from your arms and shoves them at Hughie. "We'll be right back." And with that she drags you to their shared bedroom.
20 minutes later your hair has been perfectly curled and styled by Annie's skillful hands. She'd even adjusted your make up so that now you're wearing a bold red lipstick and a dark eyeshadow that matches your ensemble. And even you have to admit that you look better than you did moments ago. You usually didn't wear that much makeup, sometimes it made you feel like you weren't you, but what Annie had applied seemed stylish.
"Thanks Annie."
"Of course." She smiles brightly and leads you back out into the large kitchen filled with stainless steel appliances and real marble countertops. "How have you been? Did you finish that paper you were writing?"
By now several people have already begun to gather at different parts of the apartment, talking quietly with one another, while sipping drinks and eating finger food. The sound of their chatter is masked by the Billy Joel song playing from the speaker in the corner.
"Yeah. I submitted it, now I'm just waiting for the department head to read it." You frown at the thought.
"You don't think he'll like it?" She moves to the freezer to grab a bag of ice.
"Dale doesn't like the modern period of literature as much as I do so I'm expecting him to have a lot of critiques and reasons why he doesn't like it." You take the bag from her and set it on the counter.
"Sorry."
"It's okay. I'm used to it. He's never ecstatic about my research work." The thought makes you frown. "Even though he knows it's my specialty and the reason why he hired me."
"Isn’t he the creepy married guy that keeps trying to take you to dinner and wrote all those sensual poems about women who sound nothing like his wife?"
"Yep."
"Ew." Annie's face scrunches up in disgust.
"My thoughts exactly." You sigh looking around the kitchen for an ice bucket. "Do y'all have an ice bucket somewhere or-"
"It should be in that cabinet." She points behind you just as you hear someone knock loudly on the front door.
"Perfect."
The ice bucket is acrylic, see-through, and light pink, but you find it easily. The ice clanks against the sides as you pour, not bothering to watch Hughie open the door for whoever it was that hit the front door of the apartment with so much force you thought it would cave in.
Annie leans against the counter pouring herself a glass of wine and groans to herself when she sees who Hughie was greeting.
"What's wrong?" You ask her, your tongue between your teeth as you try not to spill any of the ice over the perfect countertops.
"I didn't think he would come." She grumbles.
"Who?"
"Ben." Annie all but sighs the name.
"And why didn't you want him to come?" You ask, pouring more ice into the bucket.
"He's just kind of rough-"
"Rough?"
"He works with Hughie. He's a supe. Thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread or whatever.” She sighs again and takes a sip of her white wine to calm down. "Actually he used to be Soldier Boy."
"Soldier Boy? You mean the supe from the 80's that died?"
Hughie didn't tell me he had a dead man working with him.
"It's a long story." Annie waves her hand as if to dissipate the thought, but it doesn’t make you any less curious. "Now he works at the bureau with Hughie trying to keep supes in check. Usually he and Butcher bump heads."
"Oh."
Hughie didn't talk much about what he did with Butcher, or really who he met, but after Homelander disappeared and Stormfront took over as leader as the Seven more supes began to come out of the woodwork, supes that had been afraid before, but now had no one to keep them in check. And although The Seven were feared in the city, no one was feared as much as Homelander.
"I'm sure that he won't try anything Annie. And if he does I'll keep him in check." You smile at your friend.
It's her housewarming party and supe or no if he's a prick I'm going to kick his ass out. Annie doesn't deserve to feel stressed today of all days.
"Thanks babe."
"What are friends for?"
She squeezes your arm and walks away to talk with MM who stands with a little girl who must be his daughter. You'd only spoken to him a handful of times, but he was always eager to talk about her achievements in school. He was so proud of her that it made your heart warm. Her mother wasn't his soulmate, but there hadn't been any hard feelings between MM and his daughter's mother.
That wasn't unusual. You'd known several people who decided to date other people before meeting their soulmate as a way of passing the time. You'd always thought it was ridiculous to commit yourself to someone else and fall in love with them, only to have your heart broken when they met who they were meant to be with.
It was why you hadn't tried to date anyone, because you might have never met your soulmate, but the other person you'd be in a relationship with would. And you didn’t want to give your heart to someone only to have them leave you when they met their other half. Which meant that you were probably going to die alone, especially because your soulmate doesn't want you. It hadn't helped that you'd seen a few memories from your own soulmate with other women over the years, women that didn't look anything like you, women that seemed more confident, more beautiful, and more stylish than you.
Maybe that's why he didn't want me.
Your feel the familiar twinge in your chest when you thought that and fought the tears that burned when you thought of how happy Annie and Hughie were. You didn't want to cry at their party.
The familiar question rises in your head again:
When will it be okay?
Probably never.
You turn toward the freezer holding the now half-full bag of ice intent on putting it back when someone bumps into you. The bag slips from your hands and ice goes skittering across the perfect hardwood floors in every direction, but just when you start to drop to pick it up, you feel a large hand grip your shoulder.
A gasp escapes from your mouth as it makes contact.
As soon as the palm touches you, you feel nothing else, not the shift of the sweater against your skin, not the slight chill from the air conditioner, not the brush of your hair against your cheeks, all you feel is the warmth radiating through your clothes and soaking into your skin from the person's hand.
The hand moves to cup your chin gently, the shock of the person's skin touching yours makes the feeling increase ten-fold as the hand tilts your face up to meet the eyes of the person who bumped into you.
You know it's him before your eyes meet his, know that it's the man from the street who you saw for only a few seconds a year ago, but this time when his beautiful green eyes meet yours everything you felt that day comes roaring back.
He's taller than you remember, shoulders proud and broad stretching a dark gray button down shirt over his chest that have the sleeves rolled up revealing tanned arms. His hair is shorter, still dark brown, but now only long enough to cover the tops of his ears and his beard is shaved so that only a thick dusting covers his cheeks, but it's still him. And he's more handsome than any version you could come up with in your mind.
All sound in the room vanishes, the drone of chatter fades, the clinking of glasses disappears, the only sound that remains is your own heart thudding in your chest and you swear you can hear his beating at the same frequency, both of your hearts calling out to one another.
Your entire body feels like it's vibrating, as if every cell is moving so fast that they're heating you from the inside, leaving behind a molten puddle of what you used to be. A golden cord weaves around the two of you securing your heart to his in your mind, making you gasp as it hooks to his heart binding his soul to yours. Time stops as he gazes at you, something brightening in his green eyes as they absorb your own gaze.
The man doesn't move. It almost looks like he's stopped breathing, and you realize that you haven't taken a breath since he touched your shoulder. His eyes drop down to your right wrist where your hand rests over his heart, where he knows his birthday will be.
You don't remember reaching out to touch him, but now that you realize it, you can feel his heart beating beneath the palm of your hand like a fluttering bird, gentle and judging by the memories you had witnessed from him, nothing about this man was gentle.
"I've been looking everywhere for you sweetheart." The man rumbles, the words vibrating against your fingertips where they rest against his muscular chest. He smiles down at you and somewhere deep down you feel something break open that you thought was locked away long ago.
And as you stand there looking up at the man you thought you'd never see again, the autumn sun warm against your back, you feel a flicker of something that could grow into a blaze spark to life in your chest.
A/N: I hope y'all loved the first chapter as much as I loved writing it! I've never written a soulmate AU, so I am a little nervous about it, but I think that it's going to be a lot of fun! And yes, I did give Ben the same birthday as Dean Winchester (not the same year). In my head Ben is Dean from a different universe, and it just made sense to me. 😂
Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think 😊 If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series please let me know! :)
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#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#jensen ackles#soldier boy#soldier boy x female reader#jensen ackles soldier boy#soldier boy/ben#the boys amazon#the boys fanfic#soldier boy fanfiction#soldier boy fic#soldier boy x y/n
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Echoes of Her: Part Three
A/N: Hey y'all ! I'm back with the final part of "Echoes of Her" ♡ I seriously want to thank everyone for your comments, reblogs and interactions with this mini series. I loved being able to write this and bring these ideas to life! Again, y'all mean so much to me...so THANK YOU! Stay tuned for more soon ♡ - Libra * .♡ *:・゚✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆ Word Count: 1738 CW: Angst, love triangle, hurt with comfort (Part one) (Part Two)
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The days following your conversation with Logan were a torment you hadn’t anticipated. Each hour seemed to stretch endlessly, the pain of your unresolved feelings gnawing at you from the inside out. The mansion, once a place of comfort and familiarity, had become a labyrinth of haunting memories, each corridor a reminder of what you had lost—or perhaps never truly had.
You moved through it like a ghost, your presence almost ethereal, as if the very walls knew you were clinging to a love that had slipped through your fingers. Every corner you turned, every room you entered, was steeped in the past—a collection of fleeting glances, whispered secrets, and moments stolen from time, all of which now seemed like distant echoes of a life that no longer felt like your own. The spaces that had once been filled with the warmth of his presence now felt cold and empty, as if the mansion itself mourned the uncertainty that had settled between you and Logan. And as you wandered through this once-familiar place, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were trapped in the shadow of something you could never fully possess, lost in the remnants of a love that might have never truly been yours to begin with.
Logan kept his promise. He gave you space, but his presence was everywhere: the scent of his cigar lingering in the air, the faint echoes of his voice in the halls, the emptiness that seemed to follow you, reminding you of the distance between you. It was unbearable, the constant ache in your chest, the gnawing fear that you’d never find your way back to each other.
The nights were the worst. The quiet darkness left you alone with your thoughts, with the haunting image of Jean in Logan’s arms, with the memories of the life you’d imagined with him. Sleep eluded you, your mind racing with questions that had no answers.
And every night, without fail, you found yourself standing outside his door, your hand hovering over the wood, your heart pounding in your chest. But you never knocked. You never found the courage to face him, to ask the questions you were too afraid to know the answers to.
But tonight was different. Tonight, the silence felt suffocating, the emptiness too much to bear. Your heart ached with the need to see him, to hear his voice, to find some semblance of closure, whether it meant saying goodbye or finding a way forward together.
Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself and knocked on the door. The sound was soft, hesitant, but in the quiet of the night, it echoed like a gunshot.
The door creaked open, and there he was, his eyes widening in surprise as they locked onto yours. He looked as worn and tired as you felt, and the sight of him made your heart twist painfully in your chest.
“Can we talk?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Logan nodded silently, stepping aside to let you in. The room was dimly lit, the shadows dancing across the walls as you entered. It was the same room you’d left him in all those nights ago, but now it felt different. The air was charged with something unspoken, something that made your skin prickle with anticipation.
He closed the door behind you, the sound of it clicking shut sending a shiver down your spine. You turned to face him, your heart hammering in your chest, your hands trembling at your sides.
“I’ve been thinking,” you began, your voice shaky. “About us. About everything.”
Logan didn’t respond, his eyes locked on yours, his expression unreadable. The tension between you was palpable, a thick, heavy thing that hung in the air, pressing down on you both.
“I’m scared, Logan,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I’m scared that no matter how much we try, we’re always going to end up back here. Hurting each other, tearing each other apart.”
He took a step closer, his gaze softening as he reached out to gently touch your arm. “I’m scared too,” he said, his voice low and rough. “But I’m more scared of losing you.”
Your breath hitched, the raw emotion in his voice cutting through you like a blade. “I don’t know how to do this, Logan. I don’t know how to be with you when I know… when I know she’s still a part of you.”
He winced, the pain in his eyes almost unbearable to see. “She is a part of me. Always will be. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I’m tired of running from this—from us. I’m tired of living in the past.”
The sincerity in his words made your heart ache, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. “I don’t want to be second best,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I don’t want to spend my life wondering if I’m just a consolation prize.”
Logan’s hand moved to your cheek, his touch gentle as he wiped away your tears. “You’re not. You never were. I’ve been a fool, and I’ve hurt you in ways I can never make up for. But I’m here now, and I’m telling you that you’re the one I want. You’re the one I need.”
His words hit you with a force that nearly knocked the wind out of you, your breath catching in your throat as you stared up at him, searching his eyes for any sign of doubt. But there was none. Only raw, unfiltered truth.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know if I can keep loving you when it hurts this much.”
Logan’s grip on your face tightened slightly, his thumb brushing over your cheek in a soothing gesture. “Then let me help you. Let me prove to you that I’m not going anywhere. That I’m choosing you.”
You hesitated, the fear still gnawing at the edges of your heart, but beneath it, there was something else—a flicker of hope, of longing, that refused to be extinguished.
“I want to believe you,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I want to trust you.”
“Then do,” Logan urged, his voice rough with emotion. “Trust me. Trust us. We’ve been through hell, but we’re still standing. That’s gotta mean something.”
His words hung in the air, the truth of them settling deep in your bones. You knew he was right. Despite everything, despite the pain and the heartache, you were still here. You were still fighting.
And maybe that was enough.
Slowly, tentatively, you nodded. “Okay.”
Logan’s breath escaped him in a rush, relief flooding his features as he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against him. You melted into his embrace, the warmth of his body chasing away the cold that had settled in your heart.
He leaned down, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “For everything. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll let me.”
You closed your eyes, your heart swelling with a mix of emotions—fear, hope, love—all tangled together in a messy, beautiful knot. “I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life apologizing,” you whispered back, your voice soft but firm. “I just want you to be here. With me. For real.”
“I’m here,” he promised, his voice rough with sincerity. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And as his lips met yours in a tender, lingering kiss, you allowed yourself to believe it—to believe in the possibility of a future where the echoes of the past no longer haunted you, where the love you shared was enough to overcome the pain.
The kiss deepened, the taste of him filling your senses, grounding you in the present, in the reality that he was here, with you, and that you were choosing each other, despite everything.
When you finally pulled away, your breath ragged, your heart pounding in your chest, you looked up at him, your eyes searching for any sign of hesitation. But there was none. Only love, raw and unfiltered, staring back at you.
“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Just stay.”
You nodded slowly, feeling the last remnants of fear and doubt dissolve like mist under the warmth of his gaze. The walls you had built around your heart began to crumble, replaced by a quiet, unwavering certainty. With a gentle but deliberate motion, you reached up, your fingers trembling slightly as they found their way to his face. The rough texture of his stubbled cheek was a comforting reminder of his strength, of the man who had weathered so many storms yet still stood before you, willing to face the tempest that had raged between you both. Your thumb traced a slow, tender path along his jawline, as if trying to memorize every detail, to anchor yourself in this moment of fragile peace. “I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered, your voice steady, filled with a conviction that surprised even you.
As his arms wrapped around you, drawing you close, you let yourself melt into the embrace, feeling the solid warmth of him against you. The tension, the pain, the wounds that had festered between you for so long seemed to dissipate, leaving behind only the raw, undeniable truth of your connection. His arms were both a refuge and a promise, holding you in a way that spoke of comfort and commitment, of a bond that had been tested but refused to break. Despite the scars that marred your past, despite the echoes of hurt that would always linger in the shadows, you realized that you had finally found your way back to one another.
This time, there was no hesitation, no lingering doubt. You knew, with every fiber of your being, that this was where you were meant to be—in his arms, with him. The journey had been long and painful, marked by loss and longing, but it had led you to this moment, to a love that had survived the worst and emerged stronger. As you held each other close, you silently vowed that this time, no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together.
You weren’t letting go—not now, not ever.
₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨
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