#y'all are gonna haaaaaaate me

[gamerwoo]

Seventeen: Fate & Desire (part 3)

Characters: Seventeen x reader

Genre/warnings: soulmate au, host club au, college au, fluff, angst, and talks about a panic attack

Word count: 6,699

Summary: You know you’ve found your soulmate when your pendant turns red. It’s just your luck you meet an entire host club of 13 boys – save for your best friend, Jeonghan, and his boyfriend – all at once. Your pendant is now red, and all of theirs are always hidden in their shirts. But one person in particular kind of makes you want to forget about the whole “fate” thing.

Previous | Next | F&D Masterlist

You arrived to the makeshift dressing room with Jeonghan at 6:30. Like last time, you were met with the boys getting ready. This time, however, some were walking around shirtless, some were walking around without pants, and some were just straight-up in their boxers. Did anyone make any panicked moves to put clothes on once you entered, though? No, not at all. Either they were all very confident and proud in their bodies or they were just used to your presence already.

‘Does that mean I’m changing in front of all of them too?’ you wondered to yourself.

Seungcheol strode up to your wearing grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips, and -- fortunately for you -- no shirt. He grinned at you, his warm chocolate eyes hypnotizing you almost immediately. “Glad to see you again.”

“Likewise.” you smiled back at him, trying to make it as casual as possible since you weren’t sure if Seungcheol said anything to anyone else or if he even wanted them to know.

You hadn’t seen anyone say anything in the group chat about it, so you assumed Wonwoo only mentioned it that one time to Joshua and Jeonghan. Besides, Wonwoo didn’t seem like the type to go blabbing other people’s business to everyone else.

“_____, come here!” Seungkwan called, waving for you to come to the back corner of the room. He was standing in front of a screen that had been folded out to cover the back corner. “We put this up for you so you can change in privacy. We figured you’d be more comfortable that way.”

You thanked him before going to grab your uniform. Since most of them seemed to be wearing their casual uniforms, you decided to match them, grabbing your desired uniform from off the rack and going to get changed. Tossing your sweatpants and sweater to hang over the top of the screen, you tried to put your clothes on as quickly as possible just so there wasn’t a repeat of the incident you had with Seungcheol.

Once you were dressed, you let your shoes dangle from your index and middle fingers before coming out from behind the screen and going over to the other side of the room where Jeonghan was helping Mingyu with his tie. As you walked passed, the boys would stop what they were doing and stare at you, taking in the uniform that most of them hadn’t seen yet. Even Joshua stopped his conversation with Seokmin and followed you with his eyes.

“See what I mean?” Wonwoo quietly asked Hansol, apparently having told him about the uniforms.

You even saw Jun stop his conversation with Soonyoung and Minghao to watch you, although his expression was unreadable. It was like he was simply just watching a stranger walk by.

Jeonghan did a double take when he noticed you walking over, causing Mingyu to look up from Jeonghan’s slim fingers to see what he was looking it. His face turned red as he noticed it was you coming over to them.

“Well holy shit,” Jeonghan said lowly, keeping his hands on the tie of Mingyu, “don’t you look cute? I knew you’d outshine the rest of us.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly and roll your eyes, your laugh filling the room. “Come on, don’t overdo it.”

“Can I ask how you squeezed yourself into those shorts?” he laughed half-jokingly as he looked you up and down. “Those are the tightest pants you’ve ever worn, and I see you wear leggings more than anything.”

“It’s cute, huh?” Seungcheol asked, suddenly coming up beside your and placing a warm hand on the small of your back. “Wonwoo was here when she tried them on and he had the same reaction.”

“Where did you come from?” you questioned, turning your head to look at him.

Of course, he was already smiling at you like always. “I was making sure things were all set out in the club room. Why, were you expecting a second appearance?”

Judging from the looks from most of the boys, nobody knew what he was talking about. You didn’t know if that was good or bad. Either way, your face turned redder than your nail polish at his comment, and you had to look down at your stocking-clad feet.

“No, I think that would be even more awkward than the first.” you mumbled sheepishly.

“We’ll go sort the paperwork.” Wonwoo told Seungcheol before exiting with Jun, Soonyoung, Minghao, and Jihoon.

“Don’t take too long!” he called after them. “We open doors in fifteen minutes!”

“Nervous?” Jeonghan smirked as finished tying Mingyu’s tie.

You shrugged with a tiny shake of your head. “Not really. If it’s anything like last time, I’m sure--”

“_____, there’s more people coming to see you.” Seungcheol informed you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “We had inquiries for about twelve people coming.”

You gulped, unable to look up and meet Seungcheol’s eyes. “...T-twelve?”

«─── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ───»

The doors opened and the group chimed a warm “hello,” to the guests waiting to come in. As Seungcheol said, more boys were there to see you, which made you feel like your heart would pound straight out of your chest and run out the door. You did recognize two of the guys from the last time -- that only made you nervous as to why the other three didn’t return -- but that didn’t make it any easier for you. How were you supposed to remember the names and likes of twelve people all at once, as well as keep them entertained?

Seungcheol said his greeting and welcomed the newer guests before letting everyone go off to their different places in the room. Only this time, instead of sitting with Seungkwan, Soonyoung came over to grab your hand like an older brother would his younger sister who had wandered off in the grocery store.

“You’re gonna be with me today.” he smiled, giving your hand a small squeeze that made every girl there for him swoon with how gentle he was acting. “Judging from the amount of people, you’ll need some help; someone to bounce quips off of. That’s my specialty!”

You sat in a corner of the room on a couch with Soonyoung, sitting a lot closer to him than you did with Seungkwan. In their area was Wonwoo, Seokmin, and Junhui, who were waiting for their clients to sign in. Before anyone came over to them, Soonyoung spoke quietly to you so only you could hear his words.

“I know they said you’re natural at this, but there’s a lot of people for you to deal with. I’m good with filling an awkward silence.” he promised. “Just follow my lead whenever you get stuck, okay?”

“How am I supposed to remember everything about them?” you asked as you were handed the paperwork for your clients.

He shrugged. “You’ll get used to it, but it’s only your second day. Jeonghan had the same problem when he joined, too. We would’ve paired you with him but guys get intimidated by him because, well...look at him.”

“You’re attractive too.” you assured him.

“Thank you,” he laughed loudly -- his smile was quite possibly the cutest child-like smile you’d ever seen, “but that’s not what I mean. I know I’m attractive but he’s...he’s something else. His personality is even irresistible to me sometimes. I don’t know how you managed to be just friends before Joshua.”

You didn’t bother mentioning that you technically weren’t just friends before Joshua, but you did almost slip up and tell him you had your eye on someone else instead.

You noticed Soonyoung was looking over your head at the crowd, making a weird coughing noise before he turned around, calling to Jun. “That girl that thinks you’re soulmates is back.”

Even though it was a quiet sigh that came from Jun, you still heard it. “Sometimes I wish I quit this club.”

“We could ban her.” Seokmin suggested. “If she makes you uncomfortable, then--”

“She hasn’t said or physically done anything against the rules.” Jun explained. “She makes sure to dance right on the edge of being kicked out.”

“We’d have a bad word spread around about us since she technically hasn’t done anything wrong.” Wonwoo let out a tired sigh. “It truly is a catch 22.”

“In that case,” you spoke up just as clients were being allowed over, which made it perfect timing since it meant Jun couldn’t say anything snarky back, “it’s best to just let Junhui suffer and take one for the team.”

-

Twelve. Twelve boys that seemed way more needy for attention than the five from last week. Hongseok and Jungkook came back but they seemed to be sidelined by the other ten boys practically begging and fighting for attention. It honestly scared you a bit -- or maybe ‘anxious’ was a better word for the way you felt.

You were thankful to have Soonyoung by your side, though. Whenever you couldn’t think of what to say or who to talk to, he’d manage to smoothly transition his conversation over to you.

“Yeah, midterms are difficult for me,” he sighed, answering a question one of his girls asked him, “but they’re not nearly as bad for me as they are for Jun. He’s not very good with math, but thankfully, our little dumpling over here has been tutoring him!”

He poked your cheek, only making them flush a deeper pink than they already were -- your cheeks were pink to begin with because you were sure you was hyperventilating from how nervous you were -- and bringing a giggle to bubble from your lips, making your clients sigh with fondness with how cute you were.

“You’re good at math?” one of the boys asked.

You nodded. “I really like math.”

After that, you blanked. That’s what kept happening, and it was stressing you out. It was like your brain was shutting down. You were a one-hit-wonder; you did good the first time and now you had nothing.

And then you panicked because you really had nothing. You couldn’t keep this up.

“Um, a-actually,” you stood up and bowed to your clients, “could you excuse me for a moment?”

With that, you tried your best to not look too hasty as you scurried toward the door to the changing room, opening the door just enough for you to slip through before closing it tightly. Immediately, you sat on the floor in the middle of everyone’s discarded clothes, and tried to steady your breathing and your heart. Were you going to have an anxiety attack? Were you already having one?

Starting to feel too hot for comfort and very light-headed, you cradled your head in your hands as you focused on breathing.

“Here.” you heard a voice say, which made you jump since you hadn’t heard anyone come in. Their voice sounded soft but stern like they were concerned for you. You looked up and saw Junhui looking down at you, holding a bottle of water out to you. “You’re going to pass out -- at least that’s what it looks like.”

You took the water with shaky hands and struggled to open it before gulping down half the bottle, enjoying the way the cool liquid slid down your throat.

“Th-thanks...” you said breathlessly.

Jun took a seat beside you, placing a cool hand at the top of your back. “Are you alright? You look like hell.”

You shook your head. “Th-there’s too many of them. All of them w-want to talk to me a-about different things, and I-I can’t rem-member their names or who-o likes what; Soonyoung’s doing a-all the talking for ev-everyone, and I c-can’t-”

“Alright, alright, calm down, speedy.” he chuckled sarcastically, though his eyes looked concerned for how hard it was for you to get your words out. “You’re getting overwhelmed. Just sit back here for a few and get yourself in order. You’re a mess.”

“I can’t,” you shook your head, “I-I’m going to mess e-everything up. They’ll th-think I’m a bad host if I’m n-not out there, I have t-to-”

Jun placed both hands on your shoulders to keep your from getting up--they were surprisingly strong despite how thin he looked. “No, you’re not going to mess everything up. I know a way to play this in your favor, which you can thank me for later, but you need to stay put and breathe for a few minutes. Otherwise, you’ll pass out.”

You looked at him with concern, sweat beading between your brow. “What a-about your clients?”

“Wonwoo has it covered.” he shrugged. “Between him and Seok, they’re very good at being distracting. Besides, they’re swooning over the fact I came in here to check on you. I am supposed to be tsundere after all.”

“You’re g-good at it.” you noted with a nod and light laugh, curling your knees to your chest and wrapping your arms around them. “You clearly show concern, a-and then follow it up by insinuating that I’m an i-idiot.”

“I call it like I see it, idiot.” he smiled playfully, nudging your knee with his hand. “Who in their right mind tries to go back into a situation like that when they’re on the verge of a breakdown? I’m surprised Hoshi didn’t send you back here himself.”

“Clearly I’m not in my right mind.” you deadpanned.

He nodded slowly. “Clearly you’re not.”

There was a beat of silence where you both seemed to stare at the same spot on the floor: the space between your feet that kept them from touching.

“Thank you.” you finally said, making him look at you. “You know, for checking on me, and also for whatever way you plan on working this bad situation in my favor.”

Jun nodded, offering you the awkward smile he was able to muster up. “Yeah, well...don’t expect this all the time. Bottled water doesn’t grow on trees, you know.”

You laughed softly at his attempt at a joke, shaking your head. “There’s the Junhui I know.”

“Are you good to go?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Jun stood before helping you to your feet and helping you fix your tie back to your newly-buttoned-up shirt, guiding you back to the club room. He kept one hand securely on your waist while the other held one of your hands as he personally escorted you back to the couch beside Soonyoung. You had to admit, Jun knew how to put on a convincing show.

“I’m sorry, guys,” he said to your clients, “she just got so flustered, and almost fainted. Please be gentle with her, okay?”

Almost immediately, the boys looked at you like they wanted to give you the world, asking how you were feeling, if you were okay, and if you needed a break. Jun gave you a subtle wink before returning to his group of clients.

Soonyoung placed a hand over yours. “Are you okay, sunshine?”

Quietly, you assured everyone you were okay, doing as Soonyoung told you and following the lead of the situation Jun set up. After that, you had your flow back. They were all wrapped around your fingers as they fawned over you and offered different ways to care for you. Soonyoung hardly had to interject to keep up the conversation now.

From behind you, you could hear Junhui’s girls squealing about how protective and caring he truly was.

Once the clock chimed, you and Soonyoung stood, saying goodbye to your clients before escorting them out. Waving as everyone left, Chan let out a cheery, “We can’t wait to see you again!” before closing the doors.

“What happened, are you okay?” Jeonghan immediately turned to you and moved through his group of friends to hold your hands, looking you over carefully. “I saw you leave the room but I didn’t know why.”

“You looked like you were going to pass out.” Wonwoo commented. “What happened?”

Jeonghan’s gaze turned icy as he turned to find Soonyoung. “You were supposed to help her.”

“He was helping me!” you defended him, raising your voice a little too loudly. Feeling everyone suddenly look to you for the explanation, you cleared your throat, and nervously fidgeted with your hands. “He was actually doing most of the work. I couldn’t handle so many people; I-I’m sorry…”

Instead of being met with accusing eyes, you found the boys looking at you worriedly, and with concern. They did say that safety and comfort was number one.

“Don’t be sorry.” Seungcheol said softly, his voice like velvet as he came up behind you. You turned to face him, and his eyes were wide like he felt sorry you felt like you even had to apologize. Placing his hands on your shoulders, he tilted his head to look in your eyes better. “You’re new at this and I should’ve known better than to allow so many people come see you on your second day. From now on, I’ll make sure there’s a maximum number cap until you feel ready to meet with more people at once.” he stood up straight to look for someone. “Jihoon, can you make sure of that?”

“Of course.” he replied smoothly. “We’ll post a signup sheet outside.”

“Junhui helped me a lot, though, too.” you added, not wanting him to feel like you overlooked what he did for you. “He gave me water, gave me a pep talk -- if you can call it that -- and somehow managed to make them like me even more than they probably did before.”

Looking past Jeonghan, you could see Junhui toward the outskirts of the small crowd with the shadow of a smile on his lips. Typical Jun style, he wasn’t looking at you but at Seokmin, like he was in the middle of a conversation with him.

Not everyone was surprised, but a few of the boys definitely were, like Jeonghan and Seungcheol. After seeing the two of you interact during breakfast, it was clear the you and him had more of a bickering kind of relationship than a caring one. The fact he stopped what he was doing -- which could’ve severely impacted the number of clients he gets the next meeting -- to make sure you were okay was close to shocking.

“Thanks, Junhui.” Jeonghan offered, his tone a little unsure, almost like he was asking a question of if he should be thanking him.

“You did a good thing today, Jun.” Seungcheol said as a sign of acknowledgement. “Thank you for looking after our newest member.”

Jun looked like he wanted to shrug it off like it wasn’t a big deal, but that would’ve seemed rude, so instead he said neutrally, “Safety and comfort is rule number one.”

“You definitely the baby here.” Joshua chuckled, patting your head.

“Alright, everyone can get changed to leave.” Seungcheol announced, letting the group trickle it’s way into the changing room. “I’ll let you know how things went after we look through the surveys tomorrow.”

“We’re not looking through them tonight?” Jihoon questioned.

“I’m...kinda busy tonight.” he said, the hint of a smirk playing on the edge of his lips. “Can you meet me here tomorrow around 2:15?”

“Not to be rude, but what are you busy with?” Wonwoo wondered innocently. “It’s not that I think it’s my business, but we always go through the comments from the clients right after every meeting. Why the sudden change?”

“We are your best friends, anyway.” Soonyoung shrugged. “You can tell us.”

Seungcheol let out a soft sigh, seeming a little nervous about sharing this news. Clearly, dating amongst the club wasn’t something that was normal. Joshua and Jeonghan seemed to be the only ones.

“I actually have a date tonight.” he admitted, the smile he was trying to withhold starting to creep it’s way onto his lips. “That’s why I can’t read the surveys.”

“Seugcheol!” Seokmin exclaimed, clapping his hands in excitement. “Who is it?! Are they cute?! When did this happen?! Are they your soulmate?!”

“Dude, you’re yelling in my ear!” Jihoon frowned, yelling back in Seokmin’s ear to make him stop with the noise.

“I’ll tell you about them after the date, okay?” Seungcheol bartered, already starting to remove his tie -- which, of course, you couldn’t look away from. “I don’t want to say anything now and jinx it. If it goes as well as I think it will, then--”

“You already have high hopes for this person, huh?” Hansol wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “So you must be pretty close, then.”

“I’m not giving out hints, Hansol.” he chuckled, throwing his tie into the younger boy’s face.

He quickly removed the fabric from where it covered one eye and draped over his nose. “Then can I buy them from you?”

«─── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ───»

Walking up to the ninth hole, you and Seungcheol were already comfortably holding hands in between holes now, which you counted as some sort of mini win in this hypothetical battle of finding out who your soulmate was. It wasn’t a win just because he did it with such confidence when he first slid his hand into yours at the fourth hole; it wasn’t a win because your hand wasn’t clammy with nerves and managed to not shake as you held onto his hand comfortably, even now. It was a win in your mind because your hands just seemed to fit together so perfectly. It was like two puzzle pieces finally being placed beside each other.

“You know, I’m winning by seven points.” Seungcheol informed you, checking the scorecard in his hand.

Keeping you hands locked together, you purposely walked into him to unbalance him, causing him to let out a hardy laugh that made your smile. “Aren’t you supposed to let me win?”

“It would be the nice thing to just hand the win over, yes.” he nodded as he thought over your question. “I don’t know of anyone who’s ever tried to purposefully lose. I can try but it is mini golf, _____; that’s hard to try to lose.”

You reached the ninth hole and, as always, Seungcheol let you go first. You lined up the shot but ended up missing the hole by a couple feet. You stepped aside for Seungcheol to take his turn.

True to his word, he tried to miss. However, due to the force he hit the ball into the wall, it ricocheted around a few times before ultimately going into the hole, landing him a hole in one. The two of you both gaped as you stared at the hole that his ball disappeared in.

“Are you just perfect at everything?!” you asked, raising up both hands and letting them down to smack against your thighs.

He laughed, shaking his head as he turned to face your pouting face. “I didn’t plan for that to happen!”

“I know, that’s why I’m so impressed!” you exclaimed. “Maybe if you stuff your face with food, you’ll become sluggish and less good at everything.”

“Alright, we won’t count that for now.” he chuckled, going over to retrieve the golf balls. “Let’s grab something to eat.”

Once you’d found an empty picnic table to place your clubs and balls, Seungcheol put a hand on the small of your back to guide you toward the concessions stand. You looked over the menu, trying to decide on what you wanted, when you suddenly heard a familiar voice say, “Seungcheol?”

You both turned around, and saw a group of people made up -- mostly -- of people you knew: Chan, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, and Junhui with his arm around a girl that looked vaguely familiar. Looking as if they’d just watched the biggest plot twist of their lives, the group -- minus the girl -- looked between the two of you wide-eyed.

“_____ is the girl you’re on a date with?” Soonyoung asked, almost yelling. “Jesus, I should’ve seen this coming!”

“Called it.” Wonwoo muttered although Seungcheol didn’t seem to hear it.

“Dude!” Chan grinned. “You guys are so cute!”

You blushed timidly at the compliment but your eyes kept drifting over to Jun’s arm wrapped around the waist of a girl you were pretty sure was one of his clients. Yeah, you were almost positive you’d seen her in the club room fawning over him after he’d come back from helping you. You were pretty sure her name was Bohee.

“Just don’t go blabbing to everyone now.” Seungcheol sighed. “I kinda wanted to make sure this went perfect before I told anybody, y’know?”

“So you kept her a secret?” Jun asked, raising an eyebrow.

Seungcheol frowned, looking almost...mad. “No, she’s not a secret. If you were going out with someone from the club, would you tell everyone immediately? What happens if things are awkward? Then everyone already knows you two went out and it makes things worse. I wanted to protect her in case that happened.

“And speaking of secrets, you never mentioned Bohee.” he shot back.

Seungcheol was getting pretty snappy with Jun. It was, honestly...kinda hot.

Jun shrugged. “It’s nobody's business.”

Seungcheol raised his eyebrows. Jun had made Seungcheol’s point.

“Right…” Jun nodded. “I get it. Sorry.”

You had to admit it was...weird seeing Jun out with a girl. Not weird like you couldn’t imagine anyone ever wanting to go out with him, but weird like you couldn’t describe how it felt seeing him be sort-of-kind-of intimate with someone. In a way, it felt sort of discomforting -- no, that wasn’t the word. Odd? Maybe… It was just...different. Yeah, that was a good word for it.

Suddenly remembering Jeonghan’s mission, you gazed over the five people in front of you. Chan’s pendant and Soonyoung’s pendants were both white. Okay, that crossed them off the list. You made a mental note to inform Jeonghan. Wonwoo’s was tucked inside his shirt, just like Jun’s. However, Bohee’s was red. Did that mean Jun’s was, too? You would have to talk it over with Josh and Jeonghan later.

You had yet to see Seungcheol’s pendant, but you had also been hiding yours too. Until you found out who was your soulmate, you didn’t want anyone knowing.

But then what Seungcheol said played in your mind. How you should be happy with whoever makes you happy instead of searching for your soulmate. But yours was right in front of you, just mixed in with a bunch of other guys that made it impossible to find him. Seungcheol hadn’t ever been close to finding his when he was dating those people; this was different. If you had the chance, you wanted to take it.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket so you took it out to look at it. Seeing Jeonghan’s name pop up, you had a feeling you already knew what it was about.

Hannie: Can I go to your apartment or are you going to bring Cheol back to fuck him?

Well, it was close to what you were expecting. Just in case you did invite Seungcheol back -- not to have sex with him -- you told Jeonghan to wait a bit, suggesting he go distract himself at the empty dorm Joshua was probably hanging out in since Seungcheol was out.

Suddenly, you felt someone else beside you. Looking up from your phone once you locked it, you saw Soonyoung standing right beside you, looking at you with a playfully curious expression. “So you and Seungcheol, huh?”

You couldn’t tell where this was going but you were nervous about it. “Y-yeah…”

As you were wrapped up in your phone, you hadn’t noticed Seungcheol had moved away to talk to Chan, Wonwoo, and Jun -- it seemed to have to do with the club since they looked pretty serious. You stared at his back while Soonyoung stared at you.

“Is yours red?” he asked you.

You turned your attention back to the boy beside you. “Huh?”

Soonyoung held his white pendant between his thumb and index finger. “Is yours red now?”

Deciding to to try answer this to get some information out of him, you didn’t directly answer the question. “Wouldn’t you know if mine is if his is?”

“I guess so,” he shrugged with a chuckle, “but nobody really ever sees Seungcheol's. Actually, we hardly have ours out. It’s kind of habit to keep them tucked in. Clearly, you’re accustomed to it now too.”

“I noticed Seungkwan’s is black…” you said quietly, meeting eyes with Soonyoung as they both turned serious now. “Did he ever talk about it?”

“He didn’t even meet the person.” he replied, all playfulness gone from his expression and his tone. “We ended a meeting and went to change. He started saying how halfway through he felt weird. When he took his shirt off, Chan noticed the color change. Seungkwan started bawling. He was broken for a long time but he’s...better. He still dates. He’s with a girl right now who lost her soulmate too. She’s really sweet; I hope they last.”

“Are you worried about the same thing happening to you?” you asked, leaving the question kind of open. Was he worried about losing his soulmate? Was he worried about never meeting them?

“I try to not stress about it.” he shrugged, his playful demeanor coming back slowly. “I want to like someone for who they are and not because fate tells me I’m supposed to.”

His words shocked you since society seemed dead set on just going with whatever fate had set up for them. You definitely didn’t think Soonyoung was stupid, but you didn’t expect something so deep from him. Maybe he had a point, though? But then why would you be meant to be with someone else? Thinking about it too much made your head hurt.

“Well, what if yours turned red but it wasn’t for the person you were with at the time?” you asked, wanting his take on your possible situation. “Would you feel the need to give fate a chance?”

Before he could reply, Seungcheol trotted up with his signature bright smile on his face. “I’ve got some good news!”

“Junhui finally got his last two braincells to function properly?” Soonyoung joked, lightly jabbing you in the side to make you smile, which you did, of course.

“Minghao and Jihoon went through some of the reviews from tonight.” Seungcheol continued as if Soonyoung hadn’t even said anything. “Our newest member was a very big hit. People thought it was cute you needed taking care of from your other members.”

“Does this mean I really am the baby?” you groaned.

“Chan’s gonna be upset his spot as the baby is being challenged.” Soonyoung laughed. “Please tell me you didn’t tell him yet because I want to see his face!”

“I think he can put two and two together, Hosh.” Seungcheol chuckled, placing his hand on his usual spot on your back.

Soonyoung looked skeptical. “You haven’t seen his math grades then. _____ shouldn’t be tutoring Junhui, she should be helping the real baby. ...Which has just given me an idea to get better ratings!”

His loud voice gained the attention of the four others he had arrived with, who now wandered over to hear whatever he had to say.

Seungcheol raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Really?”

“Guys love _____ as the cute girl that needs taking care of, right?” Soonyoung began, meeting eyes with everyone in the circle -- excluding Bohee. “Well, people also love Jun because he’s very tsundere -- whenever he shows any sort of caring emotion, girls eat up that stuff. So--”

“No.” Jun quickly said, shaking his head. “No way, we’re not doing that.”

“She just has to sit with you!” Soonyoung whined, begging his roommate. “It’s not like you have to talk to her the whole time!”

Wonwoo cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the two boys that were now beginning to bicker. “Soonyoung makes a good point. I don’t need to read the comments to know the girls really liked seeing the caring side of Junhui today.”

“I’m not gonna be her babysitter!” Jun stated. “Make Jeonghan do it since he is her babysitter. Or make her new boyfriend do it.”

“Let’s just not force it on him.” you said, despite the four boys thinking you would snap at him like normal. “The number one concern is safety and comfort, right? If he’s not comfortable, he shouldn’t do it. I can keep staying with Soonyoung or something.”

“We’ll figure it out tomorrow.” Seungcheol decided, going with your unspoken idea to drop the conversation. “I’ll go through the comments and see what’s best to do. We’ll see you guys later, okay?”

Soonyoung pulled you away from Seungcheol to hug you -- something he’s never done so you were definitely a bit surprised, but still put your arms around him anyway.

“Have a good time with Cheol.” you could hear the smile in his voice. After he pulled away, he looked past you at Seungcheol sternly, so you didn’t catch his weird expression that you only got a glimpse of; you just knew it didn’t match his tone. “You take care of her.”

Seungcheol laughed softly with a nod. “Of course.”

Following his lead, Wonwoo stepped forward to give you a friendly but warm hug before patting the top of your head -- though he looked kind of...off. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

Then Chan, which was the most surprising since you had hardly spoken to him. “It was good seeing you outside the club, _____!”

But that was where the hugs stopped. Junhui was now absorbed in his conversation with Bohee, the two of them smiling and laughing with each other. So he really could be nice to people without needing a reason? Was that why you were so angry that he was being so sweet to Bohee? He was so mean to you all the time without any reason. What did you ever do to him?

Well, if he wanted to act like he hated you, you could hate him right back. The only reason he was nice to you earlier that night was because you were close to passing out. If that hadn’t been the case, he wouldn’t have even looked in your general direction.

You made a point to say goodbye specifically to Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and Chan before taking one of Seungcheol’s large hands in both of yours and tugging. “C’mon, let’s get something to eat!”

Seungcheol perked up hearing your cute voice, smiling like a lovesick teenager. “Impatient, are we?”

“Yeah, go feed her!” Soonyoung ordered jokingly, pointing to the concessions behind you. “If _____ isn’t at least three pounds heavier tomorrow, you’ll be getting a strongly-worded text message!”

Seungcheol waved goodbye to his friends as they walked away. As Seungcheol took the lead toward the concessions, you felt eyes watching your back, but you didn’t bother turning around. You were too focused on the boy you were with.

«─── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ───»

Kicking your apartment door closed, Seungcheol’s lips didn’t leave yours. It started as a cute little kiss when he dropped you off, but it somehow quickly turned into...this. His warm hands placed under your shirt, his skin making contact with the skin of your waist while your hands trailed up his neck and to his hair. You knew you didn’t plan on having sex with him tonight but…

Blindly, you dragged him to your bedroom, remembering the layout of your own apartment like the back of your hand. Well, except for the couch that Jeonghan had moved from flopping himself down on it so many times. You backed into the arm and fell over backwards with a gasp, Seungcheol falling down on top of you, but catching himself with one hand on the cushion by your head and another on the back of the couch.

“Jesus…” you giggled, moving your hands away from Seungcheol to cover your reddening face. “Jeonghan slid the couch again.”

“He’s not even here and he’s making things difficult for you.” Seungcheol joked, reaching with one hand to grab your wrists and pull your hands away. “Are you okay?”

“Startled but okay.” you nodded.

“Continue?”

“Continue.”

He softly pressed his lips back to yours, the kiss quickly becoming heated again like the last time. It was like magic how quickly Seungcheol’s shirt was suddenly undone and tossed to the side, your hands mapping out the planes of his chest and stomach. He was clearly toned but not overly muscular.

You suddenly felt something cold hit your chin, and realized it was his pendant.

‘Okay _____, t’s now or never,’ you thought to yourself.

As Seungcheol’s soft lips trailed their way down your jaw to your neck, you opened your eyes and glanced down at the necklace. It was--

“Are you okay?” Seungcheol asked, feeling your sudden change in demeanor. “Did I go too far? Are you uncomfortable?”

You shook your head stiffly before taking a deep breath to regain your composure, letting it out in a deep sigh. “Seungcheol, I have to show you something...”

Reaching down inside your shirt, you pulled out the pendant with the red stone in the middle. His eyebrows raised in surprise, but he by no means seemed shocked or scared. Just a little taken off guard maybe.

“Oh…” was all he said, which only made you embarrassed.

“I’m sorry…” you mumbled, fighting back the tears that were pricking at your eyes from feeling so embarrassed by his reply. Usually he knew all the right things to say but now he was...quiet. “I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t know who it was and I thought that -- well, I hoped that--”

Seungcheol shook his head, and you thought it was because he was upset or angry with you. Instead, he took your chin between his fingers, and looked you in the eyes. “Don’t apologize for your feelings, okay? You can’t help it.”

“I wanted it to be you.” you whispered, because if you spoke any louder, you knew your voice would break.

“I wanted it to be me, too.” he smiled sadly, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

But it wasn’t, because his pendant was still white.

He pulled himself up, and helped you sit up as well before reaching for the throw blanket hanging over the back of the couch, wrapping it around your shoulders before he took your into his arms to comfort you.

“It happened after I walked into the dressing room the first day.” you explained, rubbing the moisture from your eyes before tears could fall. “I didn’t know who it could be since everyone hides their pendants, but you were so sweet to me from day one. I felt like it was you; we connected really quickly.”

“I know.” Seungcheol sighed. “I honestly thought after meeting you that mine would turn red, too. Even if it didn’t, I figured it was still okay to be with you anyway. Who knows if I’ll ever meet my soulmate? If I knew you already met yours…”

“But after your advice, I wanted to just go with it. It’s just...a different scenario.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t really apply if you’ve already met your soulmate and don’t know who it is.” he chuckled warmly despite the sad situation. “In this case, I would urge you to find them.”

You looked up at him with a frown, more concerned about his feelings than yours. “But what about you?”

“I’ll be fine.” he smiled reassuringly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “We can still be friends, and if by some rare chance you happen to not find your soulmate among the other guys, then I’d be more than happy to take you on a second date. But don’t mistake that for me wishing you to not find them. I do really hope you find your soulmate.”

Letting out a final sigh, followed by a groan, you laid your head on his shoulder. “Why couldn’t it be you? I’m going to fight whoever decides fate, I swear it.”

He chuckled, letting your cuddle into him. “I’m sure you will.”

[doctorcolubra]

This is a day late for International Women’s Day but under the cut, please enjoy me telling my wife about two Byzantine empresses (sisters!) who hated each other but hated men and/or the world even more: Zoe and Theodora Porphyrogenita. Pretend it’s a transcript from your favourite podcast hosts!

(That’s Zoe on the right, pictured with her very good friend Jesus and one of her useless husbands)

Tal: so the sisters are Zoe (the hot one) and Theodora (the ugly one), and their dad keeps trying to marry them off to other rulers but nothing's working out, and he eventually just gives up and leaves them to rot in the women's quarters together for like, most of their adult life Tal: no one really knows why but they started to haaaaaaate each other Tal: Dad dies, and the two sisters are the only heirs to the dynasty, so now the whole court is trying to marry them off to local Byzantine aristocrats Clare: "NO FUCK YOU" Tal: the mayor of Constantinople is the big pick, but Theo is like "a) he's already married and b) he's my third cousin, so no" and Zoe says "yeah whatever I'll marry him" Tal: the mayor (Romanos Argyros) has his wife have an "accident" and he's free Clare: oh fuckin what Clare: this clown over here like "idk what happened, she just slipped and fell down forty-seven flights of my steps that are inset with jewels" Tal: Zoe now accuses Theo of conspiring against her, and has her dragged off into a monastery against her will Clare: WAIT A MONASTERY FOR A WOMAN WHAT Tal: but Zoe is like, almost 50, and she's trying to conceive but she CAN'T, she's trying potions and charms and shit, OH YEAH monastery is the term for both men and women in the East, a lot of the time Tal: Byzantines loooved to force people into taking vows Clare: OKAY CONTINUE Clare: (I know next to nothing about the Byzantine Empire actually so this is great) Tal: so Zoe can't get pregnant and Romanos is tired of her, so she's furious and starts fucking a servant, really flagrantly in front of everybody Clare: ride 'em cowboy Tal: Romanos goes "k" and takes his own mistress Clare: well at least he didn't "accident" Zoe I guess (YET) Tal: but then people start saying (correctly) that Zoe and her new boytoy want to kill him, and he is "concerned" but doesn't really do anything about it, he's kind of a weak dude Clare: he sounds like a real champ from what you've said, defs Tal: so Zoe and her lover drown him in the bathtub Clare: YESSSS Clare: GET SOME ZOE Tal: NOW plot twist, the servant loverboy's eunuch brother is the chamberlain of the palace, and he's this Machiavellian character, John Orphanotrophos Tal: with his brother fucking the empress, John is like OH BOY HERE'S MY CHANCE Tal: so as soon as his brother (Michael) is married to Zoe, John's like "okay uh let's...put her somewhere, she is not the most reliable lady" Clare: in a monastery Tal: NOT YET Michael puts her back in the women's quarters for now, where she conspires against the dudes in vain Clare: Michael u dum Tal: BUT Michael is epileptic and pretty soon his health is failing, John's basically running the empire from behind the scenes Clare: jesus christ Tal: his brother's dying, so John gets his nephew lined up to be the next emperor, and when Zoe protests, boom, monastery Clare: (WHERE IS THEO IN ALL THIS) Tal: THEO'S COMIN Tal: so Zoe's been sworn in at the monastery on an island, but the people of Constantinople decide they don't care for that, and they fuckin RIOT Clare: YEAAAAHHHHHH Tal: the mob dethrones John's relative and demands ZOE AND THEODORA BACK IN TOWN Clare: i just wanna imagine all of them screaming like frat dudes, YEAAAAHHHHHHH Tal: Zoe tries to make it all about her and send Theo back to HER monastery Tal: but the people ain't having it Clare: EXCUSE YOU LADY YOU JUST GOT A REPRIEVE HDU Tal: Theo demands that the emperor be blinded (Byzantines loooved to blind people) and have HIM sent to a monastery, and I think at the same time they also get rid of John by blinding him and castrating all his male relatives Clare: I KNEW THE BLINDING THING WEIRDLY ENOUGH Clare: that shit made it into [Mormon] scripture someplace or something, I knew that one BUT JESUS Y'ALL ARE SO SAVAGE Tal: HELLA so the Orthodox have a rule that you can only marry twice, you can't be a black widow for too long over there Tal: Zoe and Theo need husbands for heirs and they don't want to fuck it up this time Clare: oh god I'm so afraid Tal: Zoe wants this one dude who she had a broken engagement with yeeeeears ago, but then she meets him again and she's like "you know what I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE" and scratches him off the list Tal: she tries another former fling, but he gets mysteriously poisoned by his wife, like "NOT GONNA DIVORCE ME FOR THE EMPRESS, BITCH" Clare: and then Zoe marries that wife Clare: because they would rule Clare: ...sorry I just made that up GO ON Tal: she finally finds a guy who's supposed to have been "handsome and urbane", and at this point I want to mention that all three of these men were named Constantine Clare: JESUS ZOE Clare: BRANCH OUT Tal: she marries him, he becomes Emperor, Zoe is still Empress but also so is Theo, and there are already court factions breaking out between them Clare: also she over 50, whh Clare: how is babby formed Tal: right, like girl IT AIN'T HAPPENING Tal: HOWEVER Constantine #3 wants to bring a fourth into their polycule Clare: k ya big weirdo Tal: he has a long-standing mistress named Maria and he demands that she be allowed to go everywhere with them and have a title of her own and all this shit Clare: "this isn't enough drama I WANT MORE OF IT MORE OF THE DRAMA" Tal: "The 64-year-old Zoë did not object to sharing her bed and her throne with Maria Skleraina." Clare: the 64-year-old Zoe had a li'l boner for Maria Skleraina neh Tal: so idk maybe she was cool with it but the public thought it was kinda weird, so now there are rumours that Maria wants to poison BOTH Zoe and Theo Tal: so there is another riot Tal: Constantinople does not take shit lying down Clare: that's what we do in our spare time btw, all of us women with husbands and no jobs Clare: we think about poisoning Clare: everything Clare: everyone Tal: I mean I get it Clare: (poisoning someone is the bitchiest move in history and I love it every time GO ON) Tal: that was basically it for Zoe, she let her husband have the power and she focused herself on developing a line of beauty products Clare: ....you're fucking with me Tal: “Zoë recognised her own beauty and its use as a tool of statecraft. Attempting to maximise and prolong its effect she had a variety of creams and treatments prepared in the gynaeceum, and was said to have carried out experiments attempting to improve their efficacy. She operated a cosmetics laboratory in her rooms in the palace, where perfumes and unguents were constantly being prepared. Psellus reports that her face looked youthful into her sixties.” Clare: YOU WERE NOT FUCKING WITH ME Clare: I'M SCREAMING Tal: RIGHT Tal: now after Zoe died, Theo wasn't done yet Clare: you know what I want tho, you know what I want Clare: I want Theo to be poisoned by one of Zoe's neck creams Tal: IT DID NOT HAPPEN, ALAS Clare: just standing over her as she dies like THIS IS THE LONG CON, SISTER MINE Tal: Zoe died first (of presumably natural causes) and Theo basically made the dudes recognise her not as empress but as EMPEROR Clare: oh gosh I like her Tal: she got the senate and the imperial guard on her side Clare: oh I like her so much Tal: and then SHE PURGED Clare: that is such a power move that is such a Cersei Lannister move oh my god Tal: all the officials she didn't trust, all the guys that were being suggested for her position instead of her, DISMISSED AND EXILED Clare: BOOOOOM Tal: she was 76 but she gathered all the power in her own hands as much as she could, she showed up in the senate every day and judged cases herself, she was not here to play Clare: that is fucking fantastic Clare: I wanna marry her Tal: she did finally die but she refused to get married and refused to even name an heir because she knew THAT'S HOW THEY GET YOU, and only on her deathbed did she kind of nod like "I guess" to appoint some civil servant as emperor Tal: who nobody liked but they thought he was easy to control Clare: BOSS ASS BITCH Tal: YUP Clare: aaaaaaamazing Tal: and that is the story of Zoe and Theo, the end Clare: I LOVE THEM