#xxtian

[jingerpi]

struggling to word this rn but there's something to be said about how focus of Islamophobia is misdirected at atheists. like sure there are a lot of islamophobic and generally bigoted atheists but I'm pretty sure if we're going to point fingers about Islamophobia, Christians need to be first.

like yeah atheists often misguidedly apply their critique of religion or particulars of Christianity to Islam and fall into racism, some of them are even just straight up racist even without that, but Christians aren't misapplying anything, they're not falling into the trap of a wider bigoted society, they are the bigoted society, they're hateful warmongering colonizers and imperialists and ideological support for these things can be found directly in their scriptures, they're only able to feign progressive ideas because they have such control over culture in the imperial core, and they use that control to single out their opponents as uniquely bigoted for doing the very same things they want deep down. it's a kind of "the enemy of my enemy is my scapegoat" setup, and it's really weird to try and get a grasp on

[greenthey]

Convinced this round patch in the neighboring church's fence is ~SYMBOL~

[clever-and-unique-name]

I'm so very tired. The past couple days have been a struggle of trying to get the "new old part" acclimated to our present and it's difficult. She's not taking things well.

She judges everything we do (and have done) based on the Christian values we were taught growing up. When she discovers evidence of "how far we've fallen," she is despondent and communicates that through very graphic images of torturing herself "because it's what she deserves." Along with urges to actually harm our body.

It's exhausting and it has us on edge. Things will seem okay for a while and then something sets her off and we're lost in bloody imagery that nothing seems to distract from. The most relief we get is from following the lead of her images and taking time to show us bandaging her wounds and caring for her.

It makes me feel more than a little insane. I know that's not a term I'm supposed to use, but I don't know what else to call it. I feel mentally unwell in a very unstable way.

(please don't re/bl0g)

[greenthey]

Art is the savior of all things

[jingerpi]

You could easily be called Christianphobic for what you’ve said. Also Muslims have colonized a lot in the past

I try to answer asks with care and kindness but I'm gonna be real I do not think "christophobia" deserves to be taken seriously. I know what I said about Christianity is harsh but it is from a perspective of study and understanding. I am a Christian apostate and I think you will find I've studied the Bible quite extensively

if you want to talk theology I can do that, I'd be happy to quote the bible directly to back up my claims, but be serious- christophobia is not a real thing.

I could even get some resources from my ex-muslim friends if you want to talk about issues within Islam, but this "Islam colonized too!!" line is nonsense and really doesn't meaningfully address anything I've said.

[jingerpi]

me engaging in forcefemming minors by taking kids to church as "Christ's bride"

[clever-and-unique-name]

I’m sleeping days again, about noon to 6pm. It’s fine.

Tonight things felt...wobbly? when I woke up. I felt a very strong urge to isolate from everyone, and I managed to push back against that some, but we ended up retreating to work on hunting down more of “Mal’s songs” (the ones he sings or hums to us) and the ones that “feel like him.”

In the process, we noticed that he has a strong affinity for choral music. It makes sense--the part who sings inside a lot has fond memories from our many years spent in chorus. We were part of our school’s chorus, a private chorus outside of school, and our church choir. Singing was a big part of our life.

What I didn’t expect was influence from Rue, who steered us in the direction of Christian choral music. We sang many, many songs in that genre--some apparently stuck in memory more than others, but we spent quite some time bouncing around those songs, remembering, full of mixed feelings.

We got to a song called “Miserere mei, Deus”...a song that brought a lot of fragmented memories with it. Its words come from a particular psalm that (paraphrasing here) is a disciple expressing how sinful he is, and begging God’s forgiveness / mercy. It was...a lot. So much anguish from Rue. So much pain, remembering singing her part up on stage with everyone watching, praising God with a blasphemous tongue. Being praised by her parents afterward--singing was one of the rare occasions her father would notice her positively--and smiling even though all she could think was “Don’t you know I’m a deceiver? I’m going to Hell” with a pit in her stomach.

I was very glad to already have most of Mal’s songs collected, because we spent a while just listening to them and letting the music comfort us. Now I just feel tired, already ready to crawl back in bed despite only being up for a few hours.

[greenthey]

Like to charge, reblog to cast

can someone help me find the painting of the missionary being eaten by a jaguar i need it for reasons