#xu minghao fanifc

[sungjinhos]

Retrouvaille

✦ You and Minghao have always been friends and remained friends despite of different countries, different time zones, and lives, but now, you and him are back in the same city.

✦ genre: friends to lovers, fluff, just really idiots in love ✦ word count: 3.652

✦ Thea note: hello hello hello, first this is part of @sunnylovespickles september candy land! This was a struggle tobe honest, I started writting this before my exam and this month was so hectic that I just had the time to really sit and write this one, but in the end I think she is nice, she is cute. Also, second Minghao fic in a very short time, who saw that coming? not me!

Retrouvaille; the joy of being reunited with someone again after a long time apart

It was funny how constant variables changed. 

Minghao, once upon a time, was a constant - never changing, always there. He was your everything, your friend, your first love, and again your friend. When you think about Minghao the picture that pops up in your mind is vast forests in a mountain. Always there, never changing. 

But life, you learned, had its own way of making people drift apart. To make constants turn into a very new set of variables. You and Minghao remained friends even if life tried to make it hard. Different countries, weird timezones, messages that needed a couple of business days to be answered. In reality, you thought, it was just the two of you growing up, and you couldn't be sad about it because, in the end, the physical distance was what made your dreams turn into reality. 

But for the first time after five years, you and Minghao would be in the very same city, in the very same time zone, sharing the very same air. 

And somehow that scared you because- what if?

What if Minghao grew and changed even if you two were still friends and talked weekly? What if you changed?

Oh god, that was even worse - you almost needed to park your car to try to calm yourself.  What if you changed and Minghao didn't like the person you turned into? What if the endless messages, video calls, and Zoom movie dates weren't enough? Could you - could you just hide and leave Minghao alone in a completely different city he has never been into? Did he have your address? How high was the probability of him knocking on your door because you didn't pick him up? 

Every possible result of the equation sounded pretty distressing, so you just didn't stop even though you wished to drive to another state you settled for the airport. But the feeling of uncertainty didn't leave you in the airport, and didn't leave you when you saw Minghao passing through the gates in his all-black outfit - well at least he still loved his clothes, that remained unchanged.

"Hao," you call, waving your arm and stretching your whole body to call his attention. 

And when Minghao looked at you and smiled you felt that everything would be okay. 

Even if you changed, even if his changed, even if the world around the both of you changed - the street name, the culture, the places, the smell, and the sounds, it would be okay because it would be you and Minghao, and that itself was never changing. 

Because you knew that if everything changed what you've built with him in the past couldn't - your memories would remain.

"Well," Minghao says finally in front of you, his hair is longer now, he has one more earring, but he is still Hao, your favorite human, your friend. "What a warm welcome."

"I thought about writing a poster saying welcome home cheater but I thought you would kill me for the public shame." You say looking at him, thinking if it is possible to just be a dream, if it could be just something your mind wanted so badly that you thought it was real.

"I would jump in the first plane back," Minghao says, almost eye-rolling at you. 

"Okay, this is weird isn't it?" You say, body going back and forth but not changing places, not taking the first step.

"No, it isn't. Come on," Minghao says, opening his arms, "it will only be weird if you want to." He says in his voice low, like he is sharing a secret which makes you laugh before you find comfort in his arms.

You think it will be okay, it won't be weird because you don't want it to be. You think it will be okay because the way Minghao hugs you is the very same as he did back then because even the way Minghao smells is the same. After all is Minghao and everything is okay when he is by your side.

"I really missed you," you say - because is the truth. 

"I really really missed you," you can hear Minghao's voice still soft, still telling you a secret that only you know, a tiny bit of him that is only yours. And you don't doubt it.

"Ok, ok," You say taking a step back, a physical distance to not get overwhelmed by his physical presence, "how are we feeling? good to go running around or just straight home and delivery?"

"Straight home, a good shower, and a delivery?" Minghao says putting his hand around your shoulders and walking guiding you around like he knows the airport like the back of his hand, so you do what you need - hold his hand and tuggle him in the other direction. 

"What do you want? Greasy food or?"

"Yeah," Minghao says struggling with his suitcase, but still slapping your hand away when you try to get his suitcase.  "we can have something like that if you promise we eat like human beings in the next couple of days."

"Can't promise that, still very much of a coffee addicted but now I also dabble in sugar highs," you say knowing that Minghao will lecture you at some point about how that is not healthy and how you also need to do yoga or physiotherapy for you back pains - he always did that, he always ranted about how you should take more care of yourself.

"Oh fuck, we need at least one proper meal per day, for health reasons, or else I will perish under your way of life," Minghao says stopping on his track in the middle of the airport, making you laugh, god you could feel it in your belly how happy he always made you feel. 

"Nah, you will survive Hao, I am even including salad in my diet," you say - smiling when Minghao’s reaction is just rolling his eye at you.

Yeah. Things seem pretty similar so far. 

On your drive back home you show him different places that Minghao may seem interested in; a museum, a coffee shop, a gallery that you know the owner and he always sends his client on your way for restorations, a restaurant, even a furniture studio that you know the owner - you point out that Joshua promised teaching you so maybe that would be fun.

When you finally arrive you two follow your plan - shower and delivery, but before that Minghao comments on a thing or two in your house; a pretty plant, or a painting. He also may have pointed out that you have a pile of clothes in a chair, you explain that to be fair it is clean clothes that you need to put out but the only free time you had this week was right before going to the airport - you scream in the kitchen while he heads to the bathroom like an old couple - the familiarity of the years very clear in the way that Hao’s screams in the bathroom that he wants fried chicken and something to drink, a beer or two. 

“This place is great,” Minghao says trying his best to dry his hair with the towel, leaving droplets all around the living room. 

“Hao for the love of god dry your hair in the bathroom,” you complain, “but yeah, the place is great and not that expensive and very close to the studio so jackpot really.”

"Or your studio is in the neighborhood right?" Minghao says leaving the room. 

“Yeah, it is really close. By the way, when it will be your interview?” you say turning the tv on and splaying yourself on the couch. “I can take you to the museum is not really that far if you get the job we can-”

“Don’t jinx it!” Minghao screams from the other room, probably hanging his towel. “We talked about it, we want it too much, let's just not think about it but of course, I want the ride or I can Uber it, is not really a hassle."

"Is not jinxing I was just thinking about how cool would be," you try, but Minghao knows you better than you know yourself really, he knows how you build big fantasy castles in your head, how you take a leap bigger than your legs can take, how you run way too ahead with a simple prospect, and how in the end when things don’t go your own way the downfall is way harder than it should be - not only the reality is crushed but all your dreams and fantasy too. 

"Yeah and giving both of us anxiety, let's pretend I didn't get it and we are just having a great time because I'm visiting," Minghao says sitting on your side, like he is extremely exhausted, his hair falling on his face. 

"Oh but I do have a great time when I am with you. I don't need to pretend,” you say giving Minghao your best smile because it is the truth, and because it is Minghao, and because you are indeed the happiest you have ever been.

"That's not what I meant," he says mirroring your smile, “that is a given, stop being a smartass.”

And you feel warm like it is a physical reaction to your happiness across your body. In a weird way, you know Minghao feels just the same. In a way that familiarity, that certainty, is what helps you to anchor yourself in the moment, to make you feel grounded. You wish you could stop the time - that weird image of Minghao on your sofa, in your house, in your new city, in your life. You know you will cherish that moment for a long time, the image of Minghao in clothes way too big for him, some of his nails are chapped, you are sure that he took off his earrings because of airport security and didn’t really bother to put it after it. 

That weird want, the desire to stop time remains with you every time you look at him, it happens in that coffee near your house, the very same coffee that you did online dates with Minghao, sometimes you would bring your drawing supplies and just chat the whole afternoon while Minghao did some house chores. Seeing him in that coffee makes you almost pinch yourself to see if it is real. When Minghao points that out, that he recognizes the printing on the wall, or that he remembers that you painted the view from the windows you wish you could hold that moment and put it into a bottle, maybe you could send it as a message for your future self when that moment don’t exist anymore.

You wish you could cherish every little moment. Cherish the walks in the park, and cherish the supermarket trips at the end of the day whenever Minghao was too bored. 

In a way you find new things about Minghao, the way that he is more organized even tho he sucks at drying his hair without wetting the whole floor. And the fact that he is so invested in fashion that he always finds something to try on on a random trip, or that everything turns into a reference for his work. But Minghao every now and then makes you remember that your friend was there and no matter how many months or years apart, he would still be there. Unchanged. 

It was the way that he always made sure he brought his favorite tea, or the way that he always filled you a cup as well without even asking. It was the way that he always tilts his phone so you can watch the silly video on repeat or the way that he always lends his coat to you because you always fucking forget to take one, and sometimes you also leave it in places like that time you only noticed when you arrived home and Minghao run to the restaurant to retrieve it before the restaurant closed. 

Or when Minghao remembered a silly thing that you said or did that you didn't ever recall anymore. Like when you dedicated an entire sketchbook for the butterflies collection of the museum.  

"Do you remember that?" you ask in disbelief, looking at Minghao, who still staring at the painting, his hands behind his back like an old man.

"Of course," Minghao says, finally looking at you, "I think I remember everything you ever loved. I think after you moved I kept a mental note on things that made you happy, the first few months were so hard for you that I always tried to remember everything that made you smile."

He tells you, the same way he tells you he brought fresh bread when he was out in his morning walking like his words don't make your heart beat faster or like his words don't make your knees buckle, that don't make you almost cry in the spot. But the only thing you can do is give him your best smile and keep that memory in a heart-shaped box in your brain. When Minghao gives you his best smile you know that the future doesn't scare you, because you already know one thing for certain, that you will love him no matter what. 

When Minghao`s phone rings and he excuses himself while you are fixing the lunch you know it is something important - it is the thing, it is what will dictate if you can take a leap in an unknown and different future. And the minutes that Minghao is on the phone you pace around the kitchen, almost burning the chicken. You can feel your heart beating against your chest, your hands sweating. But then Minghao pops up in the door, a shy smile on his face, and you know, you just know everything will be fine. 

"Did you get it?" You ask.

"Yeah, I got it," Minghao says giggling.

"What the fuck?" You say trying to understand what that means, how important and how everything will change from now on, but some will still be the same. "What the fuck Hao."

You say already jumping around and wrapping your arms against Minghao, and you are so happy that you are almost bursting. You can feel Minghao's arms against your body, but still, everything is so dreamlike that you ask yourself if you are real if this happened. Because if the present is so beautiful you are afraid to ever think about the future and be blinded by it. 

"We need to celebrate this oh my god," you say, trying to breathe even though Minghao's arms are holding you in place. "I have a bottle of wine or two. We are having a home party!"

When Minghao giggles and makes your heart triple the size it is you think you burn the chicken. In all fairness, you didn't, but the onions are another story, they already reached the charcoal-like look. And not even that makes you or Minghao stop smiling. While Minghao sets the table you bring out the wine - not the cheapest wine ever, but still not something utterly special. It is a market-bought wine, a mid-range price, it doesn't scream broken teenager but doesn't really scream special occasion either, but when you say that you can go buy a special and price wine bottle Minghao is against the idea. 

So you both share the bottle of cheap wine with a side dish of almost burnt chicken, and you suspect you might be the happiest person in the world. When you and Minghao sit on the sofa you can almost feel like you are floating, it is the wine - you say to yourself, but deep down you think it might be so happy you are starting to fill up like a goddamn balloon. 

"What?" you ask when you notice Minghao`s eye lingering on you.

"Nothing," he answers but his smile still plastered on his face, his lips tinted because of the wine that you shared.

"Come on, there is something, I know you, Hao," you press on, leaving your wine glass on the floor and sitting on the sofa, your back upright looking directly at him. 

"I-" he giggles, "I guess I am just happy," he says leaning his head to the side - his longer hair falling along, making you laugh and reach to tug his hair in his ear, digits softly running across his cheeks.

"Oh the cheap wine is doing its job," you tease, making your friend laugh. 

"It’s not even that bad," he whines and takes another sip of the wine trying to prove something. While Minghao is sipping on his wine you take the opportunity to lie down on the couch, your legs half off the sofa, and your chin resting on Minghao's sternum, his legs right by your side and it feels a little bit cramped in your tiny sofa but you don't mind. 

"Oh my God, you are a changed man, where is my friend?"

"Is it that weird to see me happy?" Minghao says and he is looking at you, eyes so bright you swear you can see little stars in it. 

"You know, is it not," you say, poking his ribs, even though the tiny space makes it hard to bother him like you want to, "I'm just deflecting because I don't want to talk about how happy I am and I feel silly."

"How happy are you?" He asks and you don't think you can put it into words. Sure you could try, but Minghao is wearing his biggest smile, and you know, deep down, that he is the only one who can understand you without words. You two always functioned like that, like words were not always needed. Your bond was always there, making every step of the way easier, and communication between you two didn't need a lot of words, you didn't need to explain something - Hao could read between your lines. 

 "Very very happy," you say because it is Minghao, he could understand beyond that. 

"Well, I am very glad and very happy as well," Minghao answers, kissing the top of your head.

"I missed you," you say against his clothes, face buried in his chest. 

"I know, me too."

You finally pick up your courage to look at Minghao, planting your hands on his chest and resting your chin on it. Minghao's digits are almost feather-like when he fixes your hair. 

The truth is that no place should be called home. No place comes close to Minghao's arms. No place comes close to his presence and the way that you feel engulfed in his warmth, in his smell, in the way that his low giggles hit your ear.

Minghao's fingers brush against the nape of your neck and you almost melt. If Minghao was the forest you would turn into a river that bends its way across it. 

You rub yourself against his hand, receiving a giggle again. 

"Are we doing this?" Minghao asks you.

And you know what he means.

You think you always did that, catch Minghao's thoughts when he throws it in the air.

And you want to say no. You want to say that you are afraid of change. You know that would change everything, that agreeing would mean saying yes to never going back - but in a way, you know it is already too late. 

You and Hao are already there, in that uncharted territory, in that gray zone. Things already changed, yet you are still the same way - warm in his arms, safe against all the odds, because deep down you know - the street name can change, the sound of the street can change, the smell of spring can change, the country and the continent, the words that go out of your own tongue and the words that dance in your ear can change.

And Minghao can too, he did change, he transformed, just like a forest that experiences the seasons can change, but yet, he remained the same - always there. 

When Minghao kisses you it is so tender that your heart feels full, beating against your chest. The feeling of having a new experience with something you have known for so long makes you so happy because it is Minghao and everything with him feels like home. Minghao, if you think about it, is the warmth of a cozy bed, Minghao is the safest place to fall. And even though you never kissed Minghao the feeling of knowing who he is makes everything feel very familiar - and yet it was something you never experienced before.

You never felt Minghaos’s hand cradling your face, Never once your breath was entangled with his like this. You never experienced this Minghao.

“I think it is long overdue,” you say when Minghao’s lips leave yours. “To be honest, I don’t know how we didn’t fuck it up sooner,” and that’s true because you lost count of all the times you thought about kissing Minghao.

“If we did it I don’t think it would be here,” Minghao says his fingers caressing the skin of your neck.

“Because we would hate each other,” and you know it is the truth, you and Minghao have always been tapping in that weirdly thin line, but never crossing it, always thinking about the most common outcome - fucking everything up. 

“I could never hate you,” Minghao says earnestly and you know it is true, you know because it is Minghao. 

“You know me, I am a little petty I could totally hate you,” Minghao’s laugh resonates and you are pretty sure you are the happiest person ever. 

“Can you, please, shut up for just a minute, I am trying to kiss you again,” and it is your time to laugh until Minghao’s hands hold your face and kiss you again.