#xavierthorpefanfiction

[floshav]

little confessions

fandom: Wednesday addams

trope: enemies to lovers

parings: fem!reader X xavier thorpe

heads up! i made up the hall name and her powers/ abilities lol so just keep that in mind

cussing involved

4th wall breaks here and there

obsessive! xavier

sad! reader

angst

bullying

mentions of TW : SH

summary: Y/n never expected anyone to notice her at nevermore when she first settled in. However.. this wasnt the type of noticing she'd been longing for. Xavier would constantly pick on her abilities and looks, and this really drove y/n into a slow descending pit of depression. She never looked forward to school and the worst part was she was quite in a predicament seeing as she'd been sent away to a jail like boarding school. So why? why was she starting to grow these stupid feelings that any other girl in the school would feel towards playboy Xavier even though he was such an ass. What happends when Xavier stumbles upon a diary entree so carefully written with love and adornment by y/n pouring out her heart about Xavier himself.

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first person pov

It was a freezing afternoon just outside aphrodite hall. So freezing that the glass on my window had formed a thin layer of ice ready to crack at any moment. Just within seconds... *crack* a small crack made its way onto the ice making a web like pattern appear. The sight awakened a warm toothy grin. Dont ask why.. I just like the cold very much, so much so that i'd have a wide smile plastered on me when it came to anything related to winter.

This was my favourite time of the year, not just because of the dull fog that sorrounded nevermore academy, but the way my powers flourished in winter. Since there was more snow and cold around, i could easily freeze or slow things down to my accord.

Even though yes, i do love my powers they can get a bit out of hand at times. This one time i accidently slowed down Wednesday in the halls while she was rushing to Eugenes beehive club or whatever that was, lets just say... i wake up to 'thing' scaring me every few nights or so now.

I was snapped out of my thoughts, when i took a glimpse at the clock that sat happily on my wall. it read 2:23 PM. shit!! my class started almost a half hour ago and im still here dazing off into the winter glow. Ah yes... the delightful winter glo- Snap out of it y/n!!

i quickly wrenched on my nevermore sweater and frantically dashed out the door, forgetting my school bag in the process. Ah shittt my bag! i didnt care anymore seeing as the clock was ticking faster and faster at every waking moment. I quickly found my way to the green room where class was being held and inhaled a large dose of sharp delightful winter air before slightly creaking the door open to the menacingly heated room.

There it was. The embarassing feeling of about 20 pairs of annoyed eyes on you. The one pair of eyes that i was trying to avoid the most of course, had to have a large smirk played on his face. That freaking idiot Xavier.

"miss y/l/n, late once again? thrice in a semester.. this is very unlike you. Please take your seat. Now." was the words that left Mrs. Thornhills mouth with great irk.

"im sorry miss. it wont happen again, i swear by it!" i stuttered while frantically yelling the last part of my sentence. i mentally facepalmed while accidently freezing the piece of chalk that was held in her pale hands in the process.

ah great. another awesome addition to my already amazing day.

"y/n! you have to learn to control your powers! what if this piece of chalk was me! i am sending you in to principle weems office for arrangement of outcast controlment classes later. is that clear?" mrs thornhill scorned with fear.

before i knew it, the worst of the worst had to happen. stupid adolescents snickering and whispering as if i couldnt hear them right infront of me, while i stood there frozen, ironically.. with tears ready to spill out at any moment.

i guess this was what it was like being the only one of my kind here.

"im sorry" were the only words i could muster out while scanning the class with my already fogged up eyes.

Great. The only place left was beside Xavier. why. just why.

i untastefully took my seat beside him while letting out a breath i didnt know i was holding in. Groggily dragging my belongings on the table to soon write whatever rubbish mrs. thornhill had written on the board.

"late again, spiderweb? this is very unlike you! you disgraceful, disgusting child!" Xavier mocked with mrs. thornhills accent

"shut the hell up you actual douche." i said while shoving his left shoulder playfully

"i told you to never EVER call me spiderweb again! Oh... and your thornhill accent needs a bit more sharpening but you're getting there." i said with annoyed nostalgia to the fact that i got the nickname from a stupid prank ajax played on me a few years ago that uhm.. lets just say involved plenty of spiders. Ah... what lovely... memories.

"okay, then is icefreak fine?" he said while trying to surpress a chuckle

"the hell did you just say? ice freak?" i irked because this was definitely crossing the line with our 'playful' banter.

"what if i called you a worthless nobody who's bad at art! yea i said it. all your art pieces are actual shit." i raged with pure venom lacing my words, until i felt cold water droplets begin to fall to my nose making me hope it wasnt what i thought it was.

"Gosh y/n chill tf out! you don't have to stoop THAT low icefreak.." He chuckled while covering his mouth now noticing the icy situation above my face.

"oh my god, your hair.. y/n your hair." He now said with full laughter raging in his bones, making everyone turn to see my embarassing pissible situation.

"As if her looks couldnt get any worst.." was the last sentence that left bianca's stupid siren mouth before i completely froze her into an iceblock.

"oh.. oh no- i- i- im sorry mrs. thornhill! if y-you would excuse me. p-please." i now said with icy tears fogging up my glasses before storming out the room with tromendous guilt and anger.

I found myself dazzily running a long the hallways to wherever they would lead me, not even caring for the direction they would possibly dump me in. I just needed to get out. To be free from the depths of people. Xavier. To finally breath in the winter air and feel calm.

At last, i found a small nook at the opening of a tree just by the rims of the nevermore forest, making it perfect for hiding. I let out a large sob while painfully covering my mouth with the sleeve of my sweater. It took a lot for me to start crying like this, yet Xavier managed to figure out a way to trigger my emotions so easily.

An endless stream of cold tears fled down my cheeks making them burn as time went on. I stayed in this position for a good few hours, just thinking about all the unethical things i could do to Xavier but would'nt because im just that much of an angel. (eyeroll)

XAVIERS POV (inside his mind)

This time i really felt bad. My words had finally crossed the line with y/n. But i just called her an icefreak.. shes just overly sensitive. right?

The constant thought of her being overly sensitive or me just being a complete asshole kept ramming through my head as i finally layed down on my cold pillow after a long day of praise for humiliating the snow freak, once again.

"Maybe i shouldn't have took it too far this time. No xavier stop. stop! stop stop stop! get her out of your head you ass!" were the words that constantly fled my mind.

Y/n had been living in my head rent free for the past couple of years. When she first moved, all i could think about was her and that stupid toothy grin she had, and the way her hair was always messy but kinda cute, oh and you cant forget her nose being constantly red due to her cool ice powers which always added to how cute she was... "Shit, no. Stop. shes ugly and weird Xavier! snap out of it again you actual freak."

Although it was dumb, its the only way i cope with these stupid feelings. "Its not like i have a crush on her right? Right. Yes completely right. Yes! Fuck!" Its a dumb cycle of me finding her seemingly attractive and funny, and then hating myself for it so i mock her and bring her down just to prove to myself that i infact! do not like her. But it always ends up with me feeling like complete and utter shit.

"Maybe i should just go check on her. Just for a bit.. Okay i swear just for a second and if she doesnt respond to my knock, i am out. yes. i will not knock even a second time. ONE KNOCK AND THATS IT XAVIER. ONE KNOCK. "

I carefully crept my way through the dark gloomy corridors, all the way to the female dormitories where i trotted my way up the spiral staircase leading to aphrodite hall. How i know what hall she's in? Its not even worth asking.. Lets just say a lot of stalking and obsessive nights longing to know where she resided.

Finally, i was in front of her delicate frosted door. "Damn, even her doors all frosty.. she really is one of a ki- SHUT THE HELL UP XAVIER."

I took atleast 10 deep breaths and mental preperation before knocking twice on her door. Standing there, waiting like a complete idiot to see if she was okay.

No response. Thats weird.. its only 9 o clock, surely she's not asleep.

I let my intrusive thoughts take over and gently twist the doorknob just to find out that it's been unlocked the whole time. Just as i entered, i was quickly wiffed up my a sudden drop in temperature, i guess this was the enviroment she was most comfortable in.

"Thats weird.. shes not even here?" I quickly made my way to her single bed that was sat on a bed frame of ice, breathing in every bit of her while i could, and finally realised that her bed hasnt even been touched. Everything was in place, from her plushies down to her blanket, not even a single crease made.

I began to scan her room for any possible clues to where she might be, and stumble upon.... a notebook?

The cover had beautiful snowflakes littered on it, which were seemingly real.. funny how they haven't melted yet. It also had a frozen lock which was... unlocked.. funnily.

Despite knowing this was some sort of diary, i opened it anyway and flipped through, every. single. page. Not being able to escape from the curiosity that overcame me.

Some pages made me giggle at her stupidness, and some made me borderline want to tear up. But the one page that really caught my attention was the one about her experience being called an ice freak in the past.

the entree read:

dearest diary,

another day at this god forsaken school. When ill be out? ill never know. i just hope its somewhere in the near future.

All my friends have moved on, they seemingly have forgotten about me while im still here dwelling on all the memories we had. It actually sucks knowing someones moved on to the future while youre still stuck in the past.

Anyway, a random group of girls called me an ice freak again. Would you believe that? Yetti slurs are still being used to this day. It pains me to have to hear them almost everyday. i just hope tomorrow will be better. Bye for now

who the fuck were those girls. i will literally end them tf? Shit. I just called her an ice freak earlier... shit shit shit. shit! i didnt even know the meaning behind it yet alone know that it was a slur??

now an immense amount of disgust towards myself was starting to build up, making me want to hurt myself like always whenever something i did really affected someone badly. It was a form of payback to myself. But this... this xavier... you really crossed the line you actual shit.

Just as i was about to get up and leave, the wind had other plans for me. It blew to a page which just made everything worst.

it read:

deeeearrrr diary,

i dont know why i even try anymore. its getting exhausting asf, but no matter how hard i try to get that stupid!!! boy off my mind, it never ever works. Hes already hurt me so much yet i want him.

why???? why do i want him?? Its not like he has to prettiest smirk or the hottest laugh. yea totally not, how am i gonna get turned on when he literally insults me?!?!? maybe its cuz i get to see his hot smile whenever he does that.... UGHHH snap out of it you idiot. He. Is. Xavier. Not some. random. hot guy.

Yet again... NO. NO Y/N NO.

Ah crap. She feels the same way. no no no. this cant be happening. no! so youre telling me i didnt have to do all those shitty things to get her to notice me?! what the actual hell is wrong with me. why couldnt i just have been a normal person and act nicely around her. Then again... my insults did technically turn her on.. NO it was still wrong you idiot! ARGHHH

This time i dashed out the room with the diary in hand, determined to find y/n and tell her how sorry i was that i was such a dick.

hours passed by, trying to find any trace of her but it was like she vanished off the face of planet earth.

Until suddenly, i heard faint snapping sounds coming from somewhere in the forbidden forest.

"ARGH GET OUT YOU STUPID, STUPID! ICICLE. ARGHHH" were the words i heard followed by a faint sob. i immedietly knew, it was y/n.

i ran as fast as i could into the direction of the sound and finally layed my eyes upon a girl who was struggling to unfreeze her hair in the winter breeze. y/n.

3rd person view

Y/n noticed a presence staring at her from a distance and immediately was startled to find out it was Xavier.

"Y/n... y/n- is that y-you?" Xavier said faintly while loose hair hung low near his eyes making him a sight for sore eyes.

"No" y/n muttered while trying to hide her face behind the arms of her sweater

"Y/n. i know it's you. Please p-please. I'm so so sorry, i didn't mean anything i said." Xavier now said seemingly with a sad tone like he was genuinely sorry, but y/n thought it was just a sick game to hurt her even more.

"J-just leave me the hell alone Xavier. You've ruined my entire school life here, why can't you j-just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" y/n yelled now frustrated that Xavier was there at every turn she made, making her unable to ever be by herself, just for once to collect herself.

"I just really, really fucking like you!" Xavier blurted out with tears cupping his eyes.

"I- what?" were the only words that could leave y/n's speachless mouth.

"i-i know i've been a dick, and i-im so so sorry for that. I j-just don't know how to properly cope with these feelings that i've never felt towards anyone before. It's like, you've got me in a trance y/n. I can't seem to escape you. You're in every thought, in every meal, just in every fucking breath i take! You're always on my mind." Xavier now confessed with a red blushed up face and teary eyes. As if y/n could deny his confession at any waking moment.

"Y-you l-like me?" Y/n was in disbelief at the abrupt confession made by her nemesis.

"Well you shouldn't have acted like a complete and utter jerk! I swear to god Xavier, you've hurt me so much, a-and now you want to confess! And to think that i've had these feelings for you too!" y/n now said with hot, yes hot tears trickling down her face.

Without even realising, They were now inches a part staring into each others endless orbs, waiting for the next word, the next breath or even the next move.

Suddenly, y/n found herself staring down at Xavier's lips that were now parted and red.

She gently looked up into his eyes one more time, before finally letting that aching feeling of yearning go.

With that their lips were locked, and to Xavier's surprise, it was y/n's move this time.

"Just know, that i still fucking hate you Xavier Thorpe. Just a little less."

"I really like you too y/n. And i mean really."

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GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR THIS ABOMINATION. IT TOOK ME LIKE 2 DAYS TO WRITE 😭 AHH its so bad but i need to get something out so bare with my horrible writing... this was indeed an attempt at angst so i hope you enjoyed..?