#x. ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀᴇᴅ ( inbox. )

[pistolslinger]

@rietveild said: it’s late and the van eck house is quiet. it’d been almost impossible to believe how silent ketterdam could be at night. he was used to forcing his eyes shut as people paraded through the streets below, shouting and cheering, in search of a high. it was too quiet and he hadn’t been able to sleep so he gave up, deciding not to waste his time staring at the ceiling. he needed to walk, clear his head, so he strolled silently through the home until his leg allowed it no longer and he settled into a sitting room, allowing himself to relax for just a moment.

it hardly lasts long. confusion fills his features when jesper enters and he sits up, hand already reaching towards his cane, “ is there a problem ? ”

     the relief he feels at the sight of kaz is strange to jesper, but he allows the feeling to wash over him all the same.  his heart might continue to thunder in his ears, but now he can breathe easy.  the empty bed had — it had left the taste of bile in his mouth for reasons he is refusing to think too hard about.

     someone broke in.  no, kaz wouldn’t go down without a fight.  someone put a knife to his back, a gun to his head — no, he would have called for us, he would have — no he wouldn’t, it’s kaz of all fucking people, he wouldn’t have left a trace even if he didn’t want to leave.

     logic and fear had argued in his head, voices overlapping until he couldn’t think straight and had gone blindly bumbling around the dark house; the lights had been switched on in the sitting room, and jesper had fully expected to see someone lying in wait.  some wannabe barrel boss, some bounty hunter, anyone who thought they could make a quick buck with a ransom, a good enough hostage.  with another wave of discomfort, jesper thinks about wylan, sequestered away in their bed — he may wake soon.  their bedroom window was wide open to let the cool night air in.  the urge to dash back and just check he was still alright was high.

     none of these things make for a reasonable response to kaz’s question.  there is no easy way to tell him that this delirium had struck him solely because of a bad dream.  if he closed his eyes for long enough again, jesper is sure that he’ll see matthias, rigid and cold as nina sailed away with his corpse.  he’ll see another body, another friend, another loved one.  and it made him feel — weak, like he was being dramatic over nothing.  he’d seen dead bodies before.  bodies of people he had killed.  why was this different?  

     “ you — ”  he realises he’s been silent for almost two minutes, just staring gormlessly at kaz; in his haste to answer, to fill the silence, jesper speaks before he’s even thought of what to say.  the sentence falls, and he exhales hard.  he doesn’t need to know i went to check on him and found an empty bed.  he doesn’t need to know i’m just . . .  being a fool right now.  “ nope, no problem.  why are you down here? ”

     it’s only then that surprise strikes him.  why leave his room, but not the house?  

     “ can’t sleep either? ”  he asks, after another quiet pause; he’s afraid to speak too loud.  for fear of waking the staff, of waking wylan — of somehow tempting fate into playing a painful trick, just to spite his relief at kaz still being there.  “ it’s too damn quiet out here, right? ”

[pistolslinger]

I am in love with this girl who thinks its bad to kill people. But I like killing people, and maiming, and violence. How do I get a date?

     “ — stop killing people, you absolute walnut. ”

[pistolslinger]

@stygicniron​ said:  ❛ but we’ll tend to that problem next time. farewell. ❜ (super!verse)

     god, is this kid related to brekker?  nobody else made exits that dramatic.  jesper’s irritation makes the tarmac under his feet bubble, just a little.  thank god it’s dark — the cameras outside the crow club weren’t a problem; if his little trick got caught on tape, he knows he can just delete the footage.  in case any of the legion come snooping.  

     “ hey — wait! ”  impatience colours his voice, but he doesn’t menace the boy by running after him.  that called a little too much attention, jesper thinks.  “ there’s not going to BE a next time if you keep gallivanting around town with no back up, ”  well.  no VISIBLE back up.  wasn’t riptide supposed to be like, his sidekick?  “ seriously, you just wander around alone?  ain’t that dangerous for your people? ”

     superhumans, he means.  a small voice in the back of his reminds him: you’re one of his people.  he silences it for a moment, focusing instead on setting his face to look as serious as possible.

[pistolslinger]

he’s lying in nina’s arms, the silence of the barrel closing in around him as he waits. waiting… waiting… ( dying )… matthias coughs, catches jesper’s eye and, with a strained grin, croaks, “how do i look?” // @djelvar 😌

     no smile has ever slid from jesper’s face as quickly as this one:  he had opened his mouth to say something in relief at the sight of everyone back together, but one look at matthias cracked that relief into a million pieces.  something clenches over his lungs, iron - strong and unrelenting, holding his breath until he hears matthias choke something out.  how do i look?  

     jesper is starting to regret the times he told matthias it wouldn’t kill him to make a joke now and again.  fate had a terrible, terrible sense of humour.  he tries to smile.  for his friend’s sake, he tries very hard.  tries, and fails, and his whole expression crumbles with it.  even if he tried to fake a laugh, it would come out sounding strangled, and would fade to something fearful.

     “ like shit, ”  he can sense . . . something — metal, and unwelcome.  his thoughts are pinging through his head too fast for him to focus; was it a bullet, a knife, something matthias was carrying on his person?  he couldn’t tell.  he reaches a hand out to see, but it trembles so badly he cannot bring himself to use his powers for fear it would make it worse — for fear matthias would pull back in revulsion.  “ hey, eyes open — you’ll be fine, we’ll get you back to your usual grumpy self, just — stay awake!  stay awake, helvar, you’re alright — ”

     if nina couldn’t help him, who was jesper fooling, pretending that he could?  

     “ stay with us, helvar — y’hear me?  you stay where you are. ”

[pistolslinger]

what’s the most unfunny thing that jesper could make matthias find funny

             kaz.

[pistolslinger]

kaz takes off his hat and he has three hairs clinging to his shiny bald head like this

i MAGIE N 

. u are nervous abt hair surgery and ur bf kaz (au where inej dosnt exist!!!!!!!!!) comforts u. when u come out the surggry u yell ‘KAZ IM OUT ALIVE!!!!!!’’ but he is not there!!!!!!! u ask the doctor ‘wheres the boy i was here with”

and he says.

“who do u think gave u the hair”

[pistolslinger]

@thebcstofus said:  who hurt you? (from papa dearest)

     “ it’s nothing, ”  as funny as the image of his father bowling over the black tips in retaliation is, he doesn’t need or want his father involved.  beyond finding it wildly embarrassing that his father should be concerned about who picked fights with him at this age — his father was more vulnerable than jesper cared to think about.

     colm might be strong, but he wasn’t quite strong enough to take on four men.  oh, to be a child and know your father was the strongest man alive, again.  

     “ it wasn’t anyone you would know — and nor do i want you knowing them.  it’s been handled — we, ah, talked it out, ”  after a few well aimed shots, yeah, they had a good little chat about not trying to ambush a lone man walking home in the dark.  not if they knew what was good for them.  “ please tell me you’ve not been awake waiting for me to get back in?  da, it’s so late.  i said i’d be home late.  did you even eat dinner — ”

[pistolslinger]

✨No.✨

Fa-lalala. Kiss the pirate, Jesper. I heard he's good in bed tooooo. 😉

      “ rate him.  out of ten.  be honest. ”

[pistolslinger]

asking for a friend : how do i tell a girl i love her without being vulnerable? is calling her an investment and buying her a ship enough? xoxo baz krekker

     “ buy her a wedding ring.  propose while holding an alligator, or something that bites — it’ll look cool, and manly or whatever.  that way, if she says no, the alligator can just eat you and you don’t have to face rejection . . .  and if she says yes, you look cool, and not at all vulnerable. ”

    “ or you say sorry for calling her an investment?? ”

[pistolslinger]

i'VE GOT FIRE FOR A HEART, IM NOT SCARED OF THE DARK , YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT LOOK SO EASY ♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫

      ♫ does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes ♫

[pistolslinger]

i don’t know wheat i’d do without you.

i never want to lose u ever agrain :( 

[pistolslinger]

/ misc prompts.

@wraithqveen said:  “ there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to keep you safe. ”

he has a joke, on the tip of his tongue — a bad distraction, so that he doesn’t have to examine how unworthy he feels of that.  but that would be a disservice to inej; to her kindness, to her unwavering sense of loyalty, to the fact she might be the kindest and truest friend he had.  the joke tastes sour now, and when he opens his mouth to speak, all that emerges is a quiet stammer.

“ n - now, wait a moment, ”  jesper puts one hand over hers, tentatively, softly — leaving room for her to pull away, if she wanted.  “ i was going to say that first.  how come you always beat me to the punch, can’t i be the sweet one for a change? ”  probably not, as it would require a level of emotional awareness he’s still working to achieve.  a man can hope, though.  one day, miss ghafa, he thinks, one of these days, i’ll get you in your feelings the way you keep doing to us.  

“ — just saying it isn’t enough for me, though.  you know i’m never going to stop trying to keep you safe, either, right? ”

[pistolslinger]

I've heard Sturmhond thinks a lil pistol twirl is kinda hot.

      — it’s called having taste.   who DOESN’T think gun twirling is hot.

[pistolslinger]

how do i look 🔪

     “ like you and kaz shop at the same place.  but — buuuuut!  you wear it better. ”

[pistolslinger]

@shedaggers​ said:  ‘ you and kaz.... you two would be fine without me here. ’ 

     “ who are you trying to convince, ”  he’s not stupid.  he is not indifferent.  whoever inej was trying to convince of this — it couldn’t be jesper, because she had to know him better than that.  “ what, you think lumping me in with brekker somehow makes that easier?  how is — ”

      he pauses, inhales.  assess his tone, and chooses to change it.  he’s not angry at inej — far from it.  jesper is just confused as to why she thought they had to be, or were going to be, fine without her.  they’d survive, and carry on, they’d probably find some semblance of normalcy and routine without her.

     it wouldn’t be the same, though.  and on bad nights, when the memories of their exploits and losses came to them and tore them from peaceful sleep — there would be no reassurance that she was fine.  there would be no reassurance about her at all.  why would they want that.

     “ you could stay longer, inej.  i — i know you need to do this, but — a while longer won’t hurt you, ”  or us, he wants to add.  “ please. ”

[pistolslinger]

nikolai lantsov or major of the twenty-second regiment or the grand duke of udova or second son to his most royal majesty, king alexander the third, ruler of the double eagle throne