#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)
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@dcmur3 Val: Claude could have anyone he wants why me 🙃
Clopin: *bursts in immediately antagonistic* ANYONE HE WANTS EXCEPT MY SISTER!!!
Claude: *turns into the human embodiment spinning Mac buffering symbol*
#x: Shitpost#c: Claude#c: Clopin#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#GDHTH THE JOHN CENA MUSIC PLAYED IN MY HEAD WHEN HE SAID THAT SHIT HDHDBNIKB#I SHOULD BE SCOLDING CLOPIN BUT F GM GGI THAT WAS KINDA FUNNY#THE ONLY TIME CLOPIN SCORES AGAINST CLAUDE IS WHEN HE PULLS OUT THIS PARTICULAR LOW BLOW#BUT THAT SHIT IS HILARIOUS EVERY TIME BC ITS SO RARE 😭😭😭😭
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Claude: OH MY GOD GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, BITCH YOU DUMPSTER DIVE THIS SWEATER COSTS MORE THAN YOUR RENT!
Clopin: … HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW I RENT?!
Claude: I CAN SMELL POVERTY FROM A MILE AWAY, TROUILLEFOU!
#x: Scripted Extension#c: Claude#c: Clopin#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#F Clopin#Ripppppppp he fucking obliterated him 😫😭
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Victor or Clopin: *opens his gob*
Claude, before a single word is said:
They’re ruining all his former A.A counselling btw
#tw: Alcoholism#x: Creature Feature (Headcanon)#c: Victor#c: Clopin#c: Claude#x: Dynamic: Alter Boys (Claude & Victor)#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#x: Dynamic: The Gays Are Fighting Again! (Claude Victor & Clopin)
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If they ever start fighting too wild just play this song, they’ll call a truce
#x: Shitpost#x: Creature Feature (Headcanon)#c: Claude#c: Clopin#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#v: Long Live Evil
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Clopin: OH FUCK YOU, FROLLO
Claude: I shall pass on that offer, Trouillefou. More for your sake than mine.
Clopin: You know exactly how I meant that! But what do you mean my sake?
Claude: You would end up being spilt worse than my firewood.
Clopin: 🤢I am going to be sick...
Alaine: DAD, GO LAY DOWN & WATCH THE MOVIE CLEARLY THE DRUGS ARE KICKING IN!
#x: Scripted Extension#c: Claude#c: Clopin#c: Alaine#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#x: Dynamic: I Would Never Name That Child CLAUDINE! (Claude & Alaine)#Favther & Chilt get matching colours :’)
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Clopin: You two say that like I’m not a wonderful addition to a family!!!
Claude: You would be a wonderful addition to someone’s mantle. In an urn.
Clopin: THAT’S NOT NICE!
#x: Scripted Extension#c: Claude#c: Clopin#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#IDK WHY BUT CLAUDE & CLOPIN TALKING PROVIDES THE FUNNIEST QUOTES#THIS WHOLE FUCKING CONVERSATION TURNED INTO BULLYING CLOPIN FOR HIS ‘CRUSH’ ON CLAUDE SWIFTLY AFTER
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Claude: I am what the kids say “DTFKM”
Clopin: … What… Does that mean?
Claude: Down to fucking kill myself.
Clopin: … Seek professional help. Immediately.
#x: Scripted Extension#c: Claude#c: Clopin#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#v: Long Live Evil#((These two spend a LOT of time together for people who supposedly don’t like each other))
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#x: Scripted Extension#c: Clopin#c: Claude#c: Meg#c: Alaine#c: Victor#c: Alana#Fuckin like watching a car crash#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#x: Dynamic: I Would Never Name That Child CLAUDINE! (Claude & Alaine)#s: There’s A Perfect World Shining In Your Eyes (Claude & Alana)#There’s a lot happening here but mostly Clopin getting got again
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Clopin: So. Frollo’s turned himself into a refresher stand.
Claude: Shut the fuck up, old man!
Clopin: Respect your elders, you little shit!
#x: Scripted Extension#c: Clopin#c: Claude#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#Claude bodying Clopin is like a daily occurrence
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Every hour is Annoy Claude Frollo Hour if your name is Victor Granite or Clopin Trouillefou.
#x: Creature Feature (Headcanon)#c: Victor#c: Clopin#x: Dynamic: Alter Boys (Claude & Victor)#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)
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Clopin: *visibly panicking* PLEASE tell me you have a plan to get us out of here!
Claude: I have a plan to get ME out of here, whether it works for you depends on how fast you can run.
#x: Scripted Extension#x: Incorrect Muse Quotes#c: Claude#c: Clopin#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#v: Long Live Evil#v: Lure of the Abyss
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For the longest time Clopin thought he & Claude had the same coloured eyes because Claude’s eyes are so damn pale & it wasn’t like they spent time in close quarters frequently back then. Made sense to think he had grey eyes too.
Imagine his fucking shock the first time he DOES get close enough to see Claude’s eyes are the exact same pale turquoise colour as that odd stoic little 6 year old he taught how to juggle YEARS ago.
#x: Creature Feature (Headcanon)#c: Clopin#c: Claude#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#Wtf do you mean you didn’t wanna get gut punched by my evil fucking headcanons? You all signed up for it~
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There are COUNTLESS rumours about Claude Frollo being a vampire. (Most of them spread by a certain tiny, GFuel drinking warlock.) He isn’t one, but he’s not one to let the truth get in the way of other people’s entertainment. Besides it’s one of the less weird & thirst fuelled speculations he’s heard about himself. He tells the truth if someone asks directly though.
#x: Creature Feature (Headcanon)#c: Claude#c: Clopin#((Clopin Trouillefou is the GFuel drinking warlock))#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)
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“Good. Suffer harder.” -Clopin Trouillefou (never easing up on Claude Frollo)
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Clopin: Your teeth hurt? Age catching up with you, eh Frollo?
Claude: If you are so insistent on sucking my cock this often you ought get some knee pads.
Clopin: Whoa! Rude!
Claude: I do not care. We are not friends. I do not fucking like you.
Keira: Ice your jaw, babe. You’ll feel way better.
Claude: ... Thank you.
#x: Scripted Extension#c: Clopin#c: Claude#c: Keira#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#s: Cause My Open Hand & Heart Says You Belong With Me (Keira & Claude)#v: Long Live Evil#THanK god me small text is back
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Clopin: What’s in it for me if I help you?
Claude: … I will not snap your spine.
Clopin: What if I like that, Mama Claudina?
Claude: AY, FUCK YOU, TROUILLEFOU!
#x: Scripted Extension#c: Clopin#c: Claude#x: Dynamic: Bitch I Could EAT You! (Claude & Clopin)#Clopin adores harassing Claude smh
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