#x A Game of Hope and Despair || Queue

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 29

; Hoseok x Reader

;Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Warnings: Discussions of periods and contraception

; Word Count: 4.6k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: I know it’s taking a long time for me to update this but I hope you enjoy it :D Please reblog if you do and let me know what you think my commenting on this or sending me an ask!

; Flower Masterpost

-

“Hey, meeps,” You hear Hoseok’s voice calling to you from the end of the aisle, his new nickname for you now gaining its own nickname as well. “If sunflower oil is made from sunflowers, and coconut oil is made from coconuts...then baby oil…”

He trails off, raising his eyebrows and giving you a scandalous look as he holds up a bottle of baby oil. For a moment, you just stare at him blankly before sighing and rolling your eyes in amusement. Taking the bottle from him, you place it back down onto the shelf before linking your arm through his.

Thankfully, he lets you direct him back to the little section they have in this makeup and skincare store that’s fully dedicated to Korean beauty. This is one of those strange stores where they have tons of products that are basically on sale yet also have branded stuff alongside it. Not that you cared though; it had the Korean brands you swore by for your skin and you were more than tempted to try out the Japanese beauty stand next to it.

For someone who isn’t particularly bothered about the whole concept of skincare, though you had managed to convince him to at least improve his routine, Hoseok was being a pretty good boyfriend right now. He hadn’t complained about the half an hour you’d spent perusing the makeup to find new stuff to put into your collection and he still wasn’t complaining as you filled your basket with face masks.

If anything, he’d managed to entertain himself quite well. 

But you think he was being good purely because you’d gone with him to a concert last night. It had been for one of his favourite bands, Metallica, and he’d ended up with a spare ticket as Jungkook had ended up ill with food poisoning. He had been about to go on his own, but you hadn’t liked the thought of him being lonely so you’d gone with him.

You’d recognised some of the songs they’d played from whenever Hoseok played them in the car or the house but it hadn’t been your scene. Still, it had been fun enough and you’d more than enjoyed seeing Hoseok happy as he’d rocked out to his beloved band.

It did mean that you were exceptionally tired today though as the two of you hadn’t gotten home from the stadium they’d performed in until after 2 am. That had been the closest performance apparently and you’d been shattered, sleeping until well after 11 am. Hoseok had promised you a day of relaxation, which you’d jumped on by asking him to do a full Korean skincare routine with you tonight.

He’d agreed, and you’d eagerly dragged him out to this store to replenish your supplies. The makeup was just because it was there and you couldn’t resist it. Already you were coming up with ideas for looks in your head that you could create and then put onto your Instagram. Moving places had meant that you hadn’t done many looks lately and you were eager to change that.

Especially now that you had a yard to take nice photos in. Hoseok and you had both been working hard on the weekends and evenings to transform the yard from the overgrown mess it had been into something nice. Nothing too amazing or expensive as it wasn’t your own house but nice enough that it made from some pretty aesthetic photos.

Placing a final bottle of moisturiser in your basket, you smile at Hoseok and hold it up proudly. He just looks at you in amusement for a second before smiling back.

“All done! We can go to pay now.” While you pay for all your new stuff, he goes and waits outside for you. Which you discover means he intently window shops at the video game store, getting that look on his face when he wants to do something.

Feeling that your bladder is a little too full right now, you glance over to where the public restrooms are and move over to Hoseok. “You can go in if you want, I’m going to the restroom so I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He takes your bag for you like the gentleman he is before disappearing inside, immediately making a beeline for the Playstation 4 section. You have a feeling he might be about to drop some money given how interested he’d been in some of the new games that have been released in the last few months.

Any thoughts of games are wiped from your mind very quickly though when you’re on the toilet. The sight of red staining your underwear has your eyes widening in horror as you realise that your period has decided to make an early appearance. For a moment you simply stare, brow creasing before you reach for your bag and grab your phone.

The period app you use says that you shouldn’t have started for another four days and you curse your body for doing whatever it likes. Scowling at the stain, you attempt to clean it before sighing in defeat, acknowledging that at least you were wearing black jeans today.

Another rummage in your bag causes you to find another problem, this one sending ice water running through your veins. Grabbing it and placing it onto your knees, you visually scan through every space and almost pull out the entire contents before letting out a small sound of despair.

You had no tampons.

Cursing to yourself quietly, you finish up and make do with an almost ridiculously large amount of toilet paper. Rushing out, you wash your hands before moving over to the machine that always had condoms, sanitary pads and tampons.

Only to see the ‘sold out’ sign on both the buttons you need. Groaning quietly, you do a little dance of frustration as you realise there are not even any other women in the restroom for you to ask. Not that you would. As if your social anxiety would allow for that!

So instead you have to slink outside and into the game shop, lip jutting out in a slight pout as you become hyper-aware of yourself. Can other people smell the blood? What if you leak through all the toilet paper and it does somehow show through your jeans?! What if you leak through onto a chair!

Hoseok wanted to get something to eat after this and you were dreading having to sit there for ages. Playing with your fingers nervously, you move over to where he’s crouched in front of the PS4 stand. He already has two game cases in his hand and is reading the back of another one, your bag of goodies on the floor between his feet.

Glancing up at you, he grins brightly before showing the cover of one of the cases he’s got.

“Look! The Spider-Man game is on sale! You want to play this, right?” Absentmindedly, you nod. The back of your mind takes in the fact that he’s also got Divinity: Original Sin 2 in his ‘buy’ hand and the other case he’s considering is the Doom remake. You wish that you could let him browse more but the drug store wasn’t close by and you didn’t want to just abandon him suddenly.

Still, the thought of what was going on down below was overwhelming and you found yourself shaking his shoulder slightly.

“Hey, are you done? Can we go?” Reaching down, you take your bag back and stand back as he rises, the crease between his brows letting you know he’s a little confused as to why you’re suddenly rushing him. He knows full well that there’s nothing important you need to do.

Still, though, he doesn’t question it and instead nods slowly. While he goes and pays for the games he’s buying, you go to wait by the entrance. Wrapping your arms around your waist, you realise that the low ache in your back that you’d had for a day or so was one of those early symptoms you got of your period.

Only you hadn’t thought anything about it. Not when you’d spent a few hours last night stood up. You’d just thought it was because you’d done a lot of work in the yard combined with the concert. Apparently not.

You’re pretty much already walking in the direction of the drug store by the time Hoseok comes out, causing him to have to jog to catch up with you. All you can think about is whether or not walking faster or slower would make things worse.

“Woah, hey, where are we going?” Hoseok asks, matching his speed to yours. You’re just thankful that there are not too many people out shopping today because it would only increase your stress levels if there was a big queue that you had to wait in or something.

“Just, to this store.” Admittedly, you’re not being very open and honest right now. But you’re embarrassed. Hoseok is fully aware of your periods and that they’re very much a thing that happens. They’d become a little more irregular recently as you’d had a copper IUD put in around a month before moving in with him.

Nothing drastic or anything, but then again they were also sometimes longer and a little heavier than you were used to when you were on the pill. It wasn’t exactly something you enjoyed talking about with anyone though; Soyeon and Chungha were pretty open about this kind of stuff but you had always mostly stayed quiet whenever they talked about it.

Which was silly. They were women who fully understood what you were going through and Hoseok understood that it was a monthly event. So it wasn’t like he’d be shocked to find out or anything. If anything, you’d probably done a bit of a bad job in explaining some things to him as you’d always got too shy whenever he’d asked things.

That was bad, you were well aware. But you’d only really got comfortable talking about sexual things with him. You knew that there were guys who thought it was gross that women bled for a week or so. Hoseok had never made those kinds of comments, but still. You were a work in progress.

“We’ve already been in here, why are you dragging me like Jason Voorhees is running after us with a knife?” He whines when you enter the store. You’re not surprised he’s confused because he’s right, you had come in here earlier and picked up what you needed. Still, though, he follows close by.

“I thought we didn’t need anything else.” Comes from him next, his lip pouting and you get the sense that he wanted to spend more time in the game store. A rush of guilt and shame washes over you, causing you to grip his hand even tighter as you shuffle awkwardly in place for a moment.

Finally in the store though, you realise just how silly you’re being with him. It’s not like he’s going to get outraged or upset. And you’re sure he’d have been much more willing to come along if he hadn’t been dragged along half the street with no idea what was happening.

Leaning into him, you cough slightly before swallowing as you feel yourself go hot with anxiety.

“My period started.” You whisper, keeping the words quiet enough so that he can hear them without having anyone else overhear. Though the rational part of your mind knew that you shouldn’t give a flying fuck what anyone else thought. It was a natural, bodily function and all that.

Your mind has never quite done things rationally though.

Hoseok has heard you though, you can tell by the way his head tilts to the side ever so slightly. But his expression is blank for a moment before his brow creases in obvious confusion, lips pursing as he contemplates what you’ve just told him.

“Okay...so why are we here?” Annnnd there it is. That famed male obliviousness to female problems. You couldn’t get annoyed at him though, not when he was good with you on everything else. He was cute.

“It’s early? And I have nothing to use. So I need to buy some.” His face changes immediately when he understands finally, mouth curving into an ‘o’ shape as he lets out a noise of recognition. It then contorts into worry for you, his eyes glancing down to your crotch area with wide eyes.

“Wait, so that means you’re...just…” He creates a rushing gesture with his hands, imitating a waterfall as he makes a ‘whoosh’ noise with his mouth. It’s a little too loud for your liking and you hiss at him, poking at his stomach before quickly pulling him over to the menstrual health aisle.

“I’ve used some toilet paper but it probably won’t last. It’s come on pretty hard and fast today. Please don’t laugh.” You beg him and his face sobers immediately, eyes darting over your own as he takes in your distressed appearance. Licking at his lips, he inhales deeply before nodding.

“Okay, you use tampons, right? So like...which ones? You never keep the box.” Automatically he starts to look over all the boxes of tampons; staring at the brands, types and absorption levels like he’s reading signs in Mandarin or something. It makes you want to laugh, despite the situation.

You appreciate his eagerness to help though, even when he points at random boxes with absolutely zero knowledge of what it was.

“What’s the difference in the brands? Is there a difference? Or is it like...when you buy those store brand biscuits and realise they taste the same as the branded biscuits only to find out that they’re made in the same factory and just relabelled?” That makes you snort with amusement, particularly as he’s now holding up a box of Tampax and a store brand to try and see the difference.

He’s not finished yet though, and even though you still feel the urgency to just grab some and run, you can’t help but let him entertain you. Because that’s what he’s doing. You’re not oblivious, you’ve realised over time that if you’re feeling anxious or uncomfortable or shy, Hoseok will often use humour to distract you away from your negativity.

It’s nice, which is why you let him carry on for a minute or so more.

“What are the drops for? And what’s the difference between regular and super? I mean, I think you’re pretty super but is this like...super big or something? Wait, is this plastic?! How does it absorb blood if it’s plastic?” Rolling your eyes at him, you bite your lip to stop the laughter that wants to escape before reaching past him to grab the box you usually buy.

Lifting it, you decide for a quick crash course in tampons. As your boyfriend, you never know when you might need him to run out to the store for some and the last thing you need is him bringing the entirely wrong type back.

“I use Tampax, purely cos it’s just the brand I’ve always used and I’m familiar with it. Super and regular are like the absorption so you’d use a super for the first few days when a period is heaviest. Hence why I’m getting these. The drops are the absorption rating too basically and it’s not plastic, that’s just the applicator that makes it easier to insert.” You say it all pretty quickly, but quietly enough that only he hears. 

Not that there’s any need, the store is loud enough that your conversation can’t be overheard and on top of that, there’s no one in this aisle anyway. But Hoseok nods thoughtfully, scanning the front of the box carefully.

“When we get home, I think I need a crash course in periods because I’m feeling pretty useless and dumb right now.” Laughing, you lean up to kiss his cheek quickly before heading in the direction of the cashiers.

“We can do that for you. It’s better to be educated after all. This is where I find out that you have this bizarre knowledge that is unbelievably wrong and I cringe.” Hoseok doesn’t answer back to that, causing you to look back and chuckle at his meek shrug and wince.

“What can I say? I’ve never had a girlfriend long enough to learn and education in high school was terrible. I’m not even gonna try to defend myself.” Humming lightly, you grin at him as you pay before heading out of the store. Looking in the direction of the toilets, you twist your lips as you consider your options.

“You want to eat at that place, right?” You ask, nodding your head towards the Japanese place that was down the opposite end of the street. Hoseok looks that way and nods, confirming his desire to you. Already you can feel your stomach rumble as you imagine the delicious food.

“Okay, we’ll just go there and I’ll go straight to the restroom in there. Come on.” Reaching you, you take his hand and smile up at him, your walk not so hurried now compared to before. Not that you aren’t completely aware of the fact that you’re free bleeding from your vagina right now, but walking faster might just aggravate it more. 

You had what you needed, so now you could relax a little more.

-

“Why are there so many steps in this? Don’t you get bored?” Hoseok mumbles, his words a little slurred due to the fact you’re rubbing serum into his cheeks. He’s already been here for ages in the bathroom as you’d used a cleanser to clean his face before exfoliating and then using toner on some cotton pads. 

You could tell that he was amused by the whole situation, even though he’d seen you do this many times before. But it was different experiencing it for himself you supposed. Still, he looked so adorable and you cooed to him, squishing his cheeks even more in amusement.

“No. It’s relaxing. You’re supposed to relax.” That makes him scowl, the expression not nearly as intense as he was going for given you’ve got his lips in the cutest pout. Still, you’re finished with that part so you let him go, laughing as he runs his fingers over his skin.

“I’m not relaxed. More...manhandled.” Scoffing, you roll your eyes as you get to work rubbing the serum you need into your skin, focusing on your eyes. The dark circles beneath them were far too...well dark for your liking.

“Okay, how’s your skin lately? Dry? Oily?” Frowning at you, he twists his lips as he considers your question. He’s been taking better care of his skin than he had been before dating you, but you knew that he still didn’t care that much. Surprisingly though, he has an answer for you.

“Dry?” Nodding to yourself, you reach through your box of face masks and pull out a moisturising one. Handing it over to him, you take your own and rip it open, pulling out the mask and carefully putting it on. Hoseok watches you intently before opening up his mask, his face immediately twisting into a cringe.

“Ewwww, oh my god. Why is it so slimy?!” He whines, holding it over the sink like it’s some monster that might kill him. With the mask on your face, you can’t laugh properly like you want to.

“Stop being a baby and put it on.” With a little more whining, he does so, lining it up and putting it onto his face. What follows is then complaints that it’s also cold and feels weird, causing you to roll your eyes at him once more as you help to smooth out any creases in it.

“Right, we’ve got to keep this on for twenty minutes so let’s go watch some Netflix,” Looking over him, you take in how he still manages to look handsome even with a white sheet mask on. “It’s not fair that you always look so good. Honestly.”

Hoseok just shrugs before licking his lips, his reaction immediate as he registers the foul taste. “Oh fuck me, what the fuck. This tastes fucking vile!”

“...you’re not meant to eat it, babe, they don’t make it for the taste.” He washes his hands in the sink to get rid of the remaining residue before following you out to the couch in the living room, Netflix still paused on the large television screen. Kasumi is curled up on her cat tree, fluffy body small as she sleeps quietly.

For around ten minutes, neither of you speak as you continue to watch Warrior Nun. It’s surprisingly got both your attention hooked, so you’re a little surprised when Hoseok suddenly speaks up and distracts you.

“Hey...I know this is a weird time to talk about this but after your whole period thing today it reminded me. So, I’ve been thinking lately. You definitely don’t want kids...right?” He looks at you and you get the impression he would raise his brow if he could. When you nod in response, he blows out a breath slowly.

“Okay...how would you feel if I said I wanted to get a vasectomy? I mean, I know you’ve said you don’t want kids but there’s always a chance that you might and a vasectomy is pretty final. Despite what people say.” Now it’s your for your expression to be mostly hidden by your face mask, your eyes widening until your eyelashes are uncomfortably touching the edges of the holes.

“You want that? I thought guys normally got all weirded out at that prospect. And I don’t want kids, ever. Full stop. Are you sure?” Of all the things you were going to be discussing tonight, you did not expect it to be this. It’s almost amusing that Hoseok has decided right now is the time for something so serious, when you both look so silly.

“I do. I just...I don’t want to risk a pregnancy and I know you’re scared of that too. Also, it’d put less stress on you, I know most birth control is usually aimed at women except for condoms and it’s a lot easier for me to get a vasectomy than for you to get anything done.” That makes you snort in acknowledgement, shifting on the couch until you pull your leg up and wrap your arms around it.

“Yeah, because god forbid a woman not want to fulfil her natural duty and pop out a kid, right?” 

“I’ve been looking into it, I’m pretty sure I could get one. If not, I’ll just talk the doctor’s ear off until they let me. Because it’s gonna happen. It’s way easier and less stressful than anything you have to do.” His dual concern for not wanting to cause an accidental pregnancy that neither of you wanted along with not wanting the burden to fall too heavily on you warms you, causing you to reach out and grasp his hand tightly as you squeeze at it.

“Is it easy? Or quick?” 

“Apparently. Some guys say it doesn’t hurt at all, others said it hurts. But...I’m pretty sure I want it. I just wanted to check with you that you’d be okay with the idea too. As I said, it’s final.” Hoseok smiles at you as best he can, causing you to shuffle a little closer to him. You’d like to rest your head against his shoulder but you’d just get it covered in face mask gunk.

“I mean, it’s your body. It doesn’t have anything to do with me.” Pointing this out to him, you look up and tilt your head, your statement almost a question.

It makes him sigh and focus on your hands, shifting them until he could interlink his fingers with your own. You let him do so, figuring he should probably be taking the lead in this conversation. It is about him after all.

“We’re in a relationship. A serious relationship and this decision would affect both of us. It’s cutting off the chance for biological kids, despite people saying you might be able to reverse it. I feel you should have a say too.” Nodding slowly, you hum lightly as you consider his words carefully.

“Well, if you want it then I’ll support you completely. I never want children so you don’t have to worry about that. It’s your decision, but I just want to make sure you think it over properly and do research, okay? Don’t go rushing into it.” That makes him snort in amusement.

“Meeps, if there’s one thing you should know by now; it’s that men do not take decisions regarding their dick and balls lightly. You can be damn sure I’m going to be 100% in my decision if I’m going to let someone come near my balls with a scalpel or somet.” The way he says this is so matter of fact that you can’t help but laugh, the sound not as big or bright as you’d like it to be given you still had your mask on.

“Man, I can’t believe I’m talking about someone knifing my balls while I’m sitting here looking like a dollar store Michael Myers.” Hoseok points at himself, his bemusement clearly obvious despite his poor Halloween costume and you giggle softly.

Reaching out, you run your fingers through his hair that’s currently being held back by a bandana and smile at him softly. “Come on, let’s go get these off and start looking human again.”

Hoseok follows you immediately, already peeling the face mask off and making casual comments about how the mask isn’t as slimy as it had once been. You take off your own and drop it into the small bin in the bathroom, making sure that he does the same.

“Okay, rub it in and pat it dry. Make sure you get the excess to go on your throat and stuff, it’s good for your skin there too.” Hoseok looks in the mirror, his face shining obscenely from the residue leftover and grimaces.

“Ew, this feels...gross,” One hand presses to his skin, rubbing it in and cringing. “Is this what it feels like when I cum on your face?”

The comment is so random that you pause for a moment, all thoughts disappearing as you comprehend what he’s just said. A glance at him makes you realise he’s being completely serious, his expression focused on rubbing his face as you’d told him. It’s moments like this that make you love him even more, the blasé comments he makes that are so funny and yet also x-rated.

“No...not really. That’s more...well it’s not all over, you know? And it’s thicker than this. And I don’t know why I’m explaining this to you. You know what your cum feels like.” A snort from him gives away his bemusement.

“Yeah, but I’ve never smeared it all over my face before.”

“Maybe you should. Experience it for yourself for once. It’s not all that good for you by the way, despite what people say. It has protein but it’s not enough to make it worthwhile or anything, so don’t think I’m going to be asking you for your special facials anytime soon.” Looking away from him, you grab the next item on your routine before looking at him with a smirk.

“Damn, there goes my plan to be self-sufficient. Could’ve made a whole organic spa thing out of it.” 

[aikidoheroine]

Tenmaki -Understanding-

Backflip, backflip, backflip

Tenko Chabashira, Ultimate Aikido Master (Or a variant of it anyway) kept twisting and edging backwards in fluid motion; sounds of air cuts passing by her. If one were to slow down, they could see knives being the thing making the sound through the air. Knives courtesy of Maki Harukawa, former Ultimate Babysitter, current Ultimate Assassin.

The two are locked in what was going to be a simple spar, but it grew to become a heated battle because Tenko is as aggressive with her mouth as her kicks and punches entail.

It all started 1 minute ago.

“Say Maki-chan, being alone and aloof from everyone else…that is no way to live! You should make friends and try to unburden yourself! If you like someone, you should be able to trust them, right? That’s what friends do. They trust each other.”

Tenko had no idea what caused Maki to explode, but she found herself dodging knives. Where is Maki even keeping those knives, Tenko has no idea. She lost count after 29. Doesn’t Maki carry 30? usually? At least, that’s what Kokichi said once. But who knows if that was lie. Almost everything out of that clown’s mouth is a lie in some sort of fashion.

After the 7th flip, Tenko lands on her feet, thankful that she felt the knife rain finally come to an end (that’s going to be a mess to clean up later), but the rain of pain came to her. Maki, despite her thin body shape, is surprisingly agile. Agile enough to close in on Tenko in seconds with another knife (There’s the 30th one), and strike at Tenko.

While Tenko acknowledges Maki is faster, and possibly stronger (Tenko witnessed the girl lift a 100 pound rocket launcher like was nothing), Maki lacks in ways Tenko excels at.

Namely, reflexes. Tenko already knew Maki would have closed the gap between them; its what Maki does, unconsciously or not (Assassin perks, maybe). Even before Maki began the strike, Tenko moved just as fast and with one hand, grips Maki’s wrist holding the knife, and the other one, she strikes an open palm right onto Maki’s chest.

The impact was quick. Maki dropped the knife and coughed her breath out. But she wasn’t out, not by a longshot. She didn’t earn the title of Ultimate Assassin by cowering under simple blows. She retaliates as quickly, leaping; she catches Tenko’s neck with her legs and twists her sideways, pulling both of them down. Tenko landed on her back (Thankful for the mats, otherwise that would have hurt), while Maki lands on her 4 feet like a cat. She grabs the fallen knife with her teeth (What are you Maki, a dog?), and leaps onto Tenko’s lap, about to swipe again at Tenko.

Tenko’s reflexes save her again, able to block the swipe by forming an X with her hands, and pushes them on Maki’s neck; narrowly avoiding the swipe and keeping Maki back. Maki however, persists and pushes forward, twisting her mouth and lips to grab the knife from the hilt and pushes down to try and stab Tenko.

“This is…ridiculous!” Tenko yells, teeth grit. She’s able to move her legs and lifts them back to wrap around Maki’s neck, and then pushes back with both arms and legs. “Off Maki!”

Tenko’s strength and position helps in this case, and she’s able to get Maki off her, one last push gets Maki to flip backwards and skid a little back; though she sprints back at Tenko with no intention of letting the Aikido Master get up.

Tenko does manage to get up. As soon as she got Maki off her, she spun herself in a manner similar to breakdancing, then users her legs as a weight, and lifts herself back up like a trampoline swing. “Aha!” And quickly, back on the defensive she is, as Maki dropped the knife from her mouth, back to her hand and goes for a flurry of strikes and swipes.

Tenko thankfully is skilled enough to parry each one, hands balled to fists, she punches the strikes away from dealing any real damage; though the constant clashes, and being pushed back got to Tenko.

She formulated a plan; simple and to the point. ‘Steady…steady…now!’ finding just the right time to counter, Tenko instead, ducks under one of Maki’s swipes, and sweeps her leg, knocking Maki off-balance. Tenko then leaps and grabs Maki by her sides and slams her down “HAAH!” no mercy for the Assassin.

Once Maki hit the mats (and pretty damn hard. Tenko did not hold back that one time), the force of the impact gets her to drop her knife, and Tenko then sits on Maki’s lap and holds her two arms by her wrists. Neutralization, success.

“…Phew.” Tenko let out a sigh of relief. Now that the 'spar’ finally stopped, she realized just how fast her heart is racing, and the sweat she fells all over. It was a quick fight, but still, it put her on edge. Maki was using real knives. It could have hurt her, or worse. “I would normally say that was fun spar Maki-chan, but you were using real weapons! I could have been hurt!” Tenko said with a frown. “I apologize for any rudeness in my earlier comment, but I meant what I said.”

“…You actually managed to beat me.” Maki said, surprised. She didn’t make any motion to try and get out; she admits defeat. “…I guess that makes it 2-1 for now, still leading.”

Tenko would have been flattered, under normal circumstances, but not this time. “Please don’t flatter me Maki-chan; especially when you don’t mean it.”

“…” Maki grumpily stayed quiet, not even looking at Tenko anymore. “I don’t rely on others Chabashira. I’m an Assassin, get it? I kill people; for a living.” she sighs, and decides to look at Tenko “Whether my target is innocent or guilty, it doesn’t matter. I silence them forever, get paid, move on to the next one. I don’t feel anything, I shouldn’t, feel anything; especially friendship or…anything deeper than that.”

“…You don’t believe that.” Tenko said. “I can tell Maki-chan. Not just by words, but your body. You put on a brave face, threatening anyone, always trying to be intimidating…but I see it. At the table, at the trials, when you see other people talking like friends, like Shuichi and Kaito. You have that look of sadness in your face, showing your true emotions.”

Whether Tenko’s words hit Maki or not, Maki didn’t show it. “Its not your problem to solve.”

“Maybe not.” Tenko admits as much. “But this isn’t an assassin’s mission, is it Maki-chan? We’re trapped, with other people. People that regardless of how you and I feel about, have to work together to get out of this mess.”

“Akamatsu tried. You saw how that worked out.”

Kaede…It may have been more than a week since then, but to Tenko, its like it happened hours ago. Its still vivid in her head. The imagery, Kaede’s look of despair as death slowly took hold of her, and nobody was able to do anything about it. Spectators to an execution no one wanted, for a crime Kaede didn’t even want to commit.

To Tenko, a defender of justice, protector of the weak; it was an insult to her pride and honor.

“I don’t need to be reminded of that.” Tenko said. “But I have never doubted Kaede-chan’s words. To get out of here alive, all of us.” her eyes drooped a little. “…I admit that while I don’t show it, I am afraid of what may come next.”

“I’m not.” Maki replies bluntly.

“Liar.” Tenko frowns again. “In this fight we just had, you told me otherwise.”

Maki didn’t say anything to that, staying strangely quiet. Tenko took this is a queue to continue. “Every swipe, stab, every movement you did…it wasn’t normal for you. Your movements were quick, but sloppy. With determination, but no end goal. Every attack has shown to me that you’re afraid, desperate to exit this confounding prison that Monokuma created against our wills.”

“If you were really aiming to kill me Maki, you would have done so much easier than what you showed me today. I know full well your capabilities to end a life. You did not end mine…so I know, that you are afraid too, for what comes after death here, is facing your own death; and that terrifies you.”

“As strong as you are…facing death, that should never be done alone.”

Maki bit her lip, annoyed and…admittedly showing her fear now, if only a little. “Strength of my own is all I know Chabashira. I never had to rely on anyone else but myself.”

Tenko nods. Her grip on Maki loosens “I know this…I know you are strong Maki-chan.” She lets go of Maki’s wrists, and looses her own hands, relaxed…comfortable. “But someone that has always fought alone, will never know the strength of fighting alongside others. The kind of strength Kaede wanted from us.” Tenko gets off Maki’s lap and stands up, still staring at her, but now a gaze; A strange mix of sorrow and hopeful “The kind of strength I want to hope, can get us to escape with no more victims or murderers. Back to where we belong.”

“…” Maki didn’t move from her spot, though relieved Tenko got off her at least. “…You never spoke with Akamatsu. Why are you holding her in such a strong regard?”

“…” Tenko takes a step forward and slowly sits next to Maki, looking opposite of where Maki is. “It is true…we only spoke once, before the murder of Rantaro. I suppose its not really about Kaede herself, as a wonderful person I’m sure she was; rather…” Tenko bit her lip. “What she represents to me.”

Maki raised an eyebrow, confused. Clearing her throat, Tenko continues.

“As someone that upholds protecting the weak, the innocent, seeing Kaede die the way she did, in such a cruel, unfitting matter…God you have no idea how badly I wanted to crush Monokuma and those damn cubs of his. But it would have been for nothing. I know that, I felt that…but I still wanted to. Because Kaede deserved better; killer or not of that degenerate Rantaro; she wouldn’t have done that if Monokuma had forced us to this evil game of his.”

As she spoke, Tenko’s sadness turned to grief, to anger, to hopelessness. Tears nearly threatened to leave her eyes, and they did. “This killing game goes against everything I believe in; and I hate it. I hate the very idea of it. Comrades and friends being forced to kill each other for some sick proof of an ideal is no way to live; no matter if the whole world wants to think that way, it being acceptable doesn’t mean that it should be ok for anyone to not question it. We question drugs, we question the morality of mental health, but we don’t question abuse? murders?” Tenko shook her head. “We are Ultimates. We bring hope to those that can’t do so, in odd ways, yes. But we still do our parts every day, with hard work and determination.” Tenko shook vividly as she said this. “Monokuma took that hope, and twisted it to something of pure evil; all for laughs.” she stood up again, wiping her eyes from the tears and the sniffs. “I can never forgive a person like that, or anyone that supports such actions and ideals. So for that…I have to fight to keep us together, to work together and live another day. Kaede would have wanted that. I, want that.” Tenko greatly emphasizes in her grief.

“…” Maki didn’t know what to say. What could she say? Tenko’s speech caught her off-guard. In truth, Maki never really thought of it that way. A simple life, compared to Tenko’s complex one. To kill, and to protect.

’…Would killing the mastermind truly end this?’ Maki thought to herself. 'Who’s to say someone else will take their place? Someone with equally twisted ideals?’ history shows as much. You kill one dictator, 2 more pop up someone else. Its like killing ants in a way.

’…Have my killings served any purpose, I wonder…’ Maki mused. 'Were they for the greater good? Or for the selfish ambitions of another? …did my actions caused others to die?’

…Well, whatever the answers to that, it doesn’t matter now. Too late to look back on done deeds. But maybe this once…

“…Hey.” Maki got up, and grabbed her knife. She pockets it. “…Tomorrow, same time?” Maki pauses for a moment. “…No knives.”

Surprised, Tenko looks at Maki wide eyed and mouth agape “Maki-chan…?”

Maki stands up and dusts herself off. “I’ll see you then…Tenko.” With that, Maki leaves the Gym, leaving a flabbergasted Tenko behind.

Though once she left, Maki looks at her knife, her own reflection in the silver blade. ’…Fight for others…its not my thing. I doubt it could ever be my thing.’ Maki pockets it again. 'But…maybe just this once…I can try, if only for Tenko, and Kaede. I am an assassin, that will never change. …Yet, would the kids at the orphanage…would they admire me if they knew what I did? What I’ve done?’

Himiko, Angie! I made friends with Maki-chan! I got her to acknowledge me as a friend!

That’s great Tenko! Atua has blessed you indeed!

“Oi, don’t let it go to your head!” Maki yelled angrily, yet couldn’t help herself to smile…if only once.

“Wow, thank you so much, Goryuck! I didn’t expect something like this, but this is such a sweet surprise! I’m going to cherish this forever!”

[justauthoring]

Corruption of Innocence (4/?)

Prompt: The Capital was cruel. The people there even more so. If this arrangement truly was meant to follow through, Jaime knew you would be corrupted by Kings Landing. But staring at you now, with bright doe eyes and a soft smile on your lips as you engaged in a conversation with your brother, hushed so as not to be disrespectful, Jaime knew he would put all his focus and strength into making sure that never happened.

A/N: I KNOW THIS IS SIMILAR TO @reader-imagines “VOW”, BUT I PROMISE THAT AFTER THIS PART IT WILL BE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Yes, I know I took inspiration, you don’t have to remind me. I am not copying, I simply used her series for inspiration. But after this part, nothing will be the same, not even remotely similar

Anyways, now that that’s done, lol, thank you all for your amazing support! After much thought and help from my mom, I finally know the direction I want to take this series and let me tell you, I’M HELLA EXCITED. Things are only going to get better from here, I assure you. So please, keep commenting, reblogging and liking, because it inspires me to write more and upload frequently.

Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. As usual, I hope you all enjoyed!

AGAIN, remember if you’d like me to continue this series, just leave a little comment or an ask letting me know. I will NOT continue the series if no one wants me to.

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. If you want to repost my work. please ask first - but even then I might say no.

Pairing: Jaime x Stark!Reader

Based off of: Game of Thrones 01x07, 01x08 and 01x09

With your father’s arrest, things only became more strained between you and Jaime.

It didn’t help that he’d dragged you along to his father’s fleet before taking you along with his own army to Riverrun, for reasons you still didn’t understand. You guessed, in ways, it was better then being stuck in the Capital with Cersei’s glares and the looming threat of guards following you every step you took.

You had to abandon both your sisters and your father, but you’d been okay with it. Because when you left things had been fine, maybe a little shaky. But you could only imagine the chaos that has ensued with your father’s arrest, leaving you wondering what would happen to you along the way. You wondered what was happening with your sisters now, if they were okay. If your father was okay... stuck in a cell that he had no reason being in.

You stayed in your tent almost ninety percent of the time. Jaime’s men didn’t like you, and they made that perfectly clear. Plus, it didn’t dwell well on you being the only woman in sight for miles. If you left the safety of your tent, you were either regarded with glares or lecherous smiles, both of which the implications behind them were easy enough for you to understand.

All you’d done was trade one cage for another. 

But, spending all day in your tent gave you lots of time to listen. The guards stationed outside of your tent never stopped chatting it seemed, and through them you’d learned a lot about why Jaime, Tywin and the Lannister army had all left the Capital. You knew that Jaime was using his somewhat smaller army than his father’s to defeat the Riverlords, which he’s managed to do. You know he’s trying to land siege on Riverrun currently as well.

However, you also knew that your brother, Robb Stark, has gathered your father’s men upon his arrest. It’s that thought that keeps you stable everyday. That stops you from wasting away in your small tent, lonelier then you’ve ever been before. You remembered when your days had been filled with friends and family and those you loved. And now your life was a sad reflection of it. You missed your family, and you hoped you’d be able to see them again soon.

Jaime and you rarely spoke. What little bit of trust you’d had for him had considerably lessened since his attack on your father, and now, with word of his arrest, you placed all the blame on Jaime. It wasn’t fair, you knew. While Jaime might have some place in it all, which you knew he did, he definitely wasn’t the only one to blame. His entire family should fall to blame, but you didn’t much care. He turned out to be the husband you’d feared him to be.

Even if by vow the two of you were family, you always came second in his eyes.

A whine pulls you from your thoughts. Your head tilts to the right, eyes falling on that of Antheia. The sight of her brings a small smile to your lips, her head coming to a rest on your thigh as she stares up at you with a pout. Without hesitation, your hand comes to rest on her head, scratching it lightly. 

“You’ll never leave me, right?” You question softly, the edges of your lips curled into a soft smile as your eyes crinkle with delight. Antheia let’s a small mewl out in response to your words, shuffling slightly on her paws as she pushes herself closer to you, her head tilting into your palm, clearly enjoying your attention. “Just like i’ll never leave you.”

-

When Jaime enters the tent, your back is turned to him.

You don’t notice his presence, or, if you do, you don’t make note of it. Jaime feels his feet slow as he takes a moment to glance down at you, shoulders falling. He can hear your soft whispers as you gesture down to your wolf beneath you, clearly lost in your own thoughts.

The sight is sad, Jaime realizes. The image of you, that is. He’s never seen someone look so lonely surrounded by thousands, and it’s clear that you don’t fit in. In the midst of a Lannister army, even with the same last name, it’s clear you’re a Stark. A wolf in a den of lions. Jaime hasn’t seen you smile in days, and he wonders if he ever will again.

With your father being arrested for treason, he figures not.

Jaime wonders if bringing you here had been a mistake. If he should’ve left you back at Kingslanding, within the safety of your chambers. But then he remembers that the Capital isn’t any safer for you then his camp is. You would still be a lone wolf in a den of lions there, and at least here he could keep an eye on you. There’s no telling what Cersei would do if he left you with her alone. And with your father being accused of treason, it was even more dangerous for a Stark now.

So, no, he hadn’t made a mistake. He knows that, but can’t help but wonder when he sees you, almost as if you live in your own cloud of darkness and despair.

Jaime can’t explain the feelings that run through him. He doesn’t know if what he feels for you is love or just pity. But he does know that he doesn’t ever want to see you in danger. He wants to protect you, keep you safe, that much he knows at least. And maybe it runs deeper, but Jaime’s thoughts still often return to that of his sister and he’s never felt more conflicted then he has these past few weeks. His thoughts are jumbled into a mess of confusion, and he wishes everything would just become clear.

It didn’t seem like that would happen anytime soon, so Jaime settled for keeping you as safe as he possibly could. For heeding to the vows he’d made to you on your wedding day and keeping you safe from the cruel dangers of the world.

Coughing slightly, to catch your attention, Jaime steps forward as if he hadn’t just been watching you. You instantly turn towards him, blinking at the sight of him. Jaime can feel your gaze follow his own as he crosses your shared tent, moving towards the table placed in the middle. He grabs his sword off the table, sliding it into it’s halter before finally, his gaze falls on you.

The empty look in your eyes is almost like a slap to his face. But he forces himself not to dwell on it longer than a second, straightening his back out, squaring his shoulders. You speak before he has the chance; “you’re back early,” you comment, setting your hands in your lap, crossing them. 

“Only for a moment,” Jaime nods, gesturing to his sword. “The guards will remain stationed outside the tent. I’ve given them orders to not let anyone but me inside or out.”

You raise a brow; “is something happening?”

Jaime pauses, pondering for a moment. He wonders if he should tell you that, yes, something is happening. That he was planning on slaughtering your brother and his men. This was war after all, and he had no intention of being merciless. But, it’s that thought that stops him from telling you the truth. It won’t do him any benefits to tell you the truth, when you’re already mistrusting of him.

Instead, Jaime shrugs. “Nothing of your concern.” It’s cold, he’s aware. The jerk back and widening of your eyes tells him of that fact. There’s a moment where Jaime feels guilty, wondering if he should’ve tried to be a little nicer. But, he also knows that if he had been, you would’ve pestered, wouldn’t have left it alone. Sometimes, being cold was the best thing he could do to help you.

When you don’t response, Jaime takes that as his queue to leave. However, just before he leaves the tent completely, your voice halts him.

“Because why should your wife be concerned.”

And for a moment, Jaime just stands there. Let’s your words sink in, pondering on whether he should reply. Ultimately, he decides against it and he takes another step forward, letting the flap of the tent flap shut in response behind him, leaving you all alone in the tent.

He only glances back at the tent, imagining you inside, sat there, alone, once more before walking off.

-

An hour or so after Jaime departure, it had been nothing but silent. Until it isn’t.

The first thump causes you to jump, your back straightening in alert as your head turns towards the exit of the tent. Antheia also becomes alert, poised before you protectively as you listen closely. You hear the sounds of metal clanging against metal, the sound of groaning and moaning, before another thump echoes. It almost sounds like a body hitting the floor.

Then, silence once again echoes.

Antheia lowly growls in response, and your eyes dart across the tent, looking for something to protect yourself with. The first thing your eyes land on is a candlestick and without hesitating, you jump to your feet, grabbing it off the table and holding it before yourself. You can hear faint footsteps, crunching against the dirt and grass of the ground. It’s only shuffles, the footsteps not really growing any nearer, but not distancing either.

For a moment, nothing happens. Then, there’s a definite footstep, and the edge of the tent flap curls up. You feel your breath get caught into your throat, your entire muscles seizing in panic as you inhale deeply, trying to mentally prepare yourself for whatever’s to come.

Then, a figure walks in, and your eyes widen when you realize who it is. Your candle stick thumbs to the ground, all sense of panic having left your body in seconds.

“Robb?”

His eyes fall on you the second you speak, widening when he realizes it’s you. That’s it actually you, his sister, stood before him. A sense of relief floods his expression, and he almost relaxes as he if he’d done what he came here to do. Like finding you had been his only goal. His grip on his sword lessens and all but clatters to the ground, forgetting himself for a moment as a wide smile grows on his lips. Before you know it, Robb is before you, engulfing you in his arms and pulling you close.

You instantly return his embrace, a soft sob leaving your lips as you bury your head into the crook of his neck. It almost feels like a dream, being in your brother’s arms once more, you can hardly believe it. You feel the great need to never let go of Robb again. You’d thought you’d never see him again. Even if your father had told you otherwise at first, the fear had never truly left your mind. 

One day, father had said. And he’d been right. Because he Robb was, holding you close, just like he’d done when you were kids and you’d have a nightmare. Or when Theon would scare you, and Robb wouldn’t hesitate to jump in and protect you.

As Robb pulls back, you blink, a tear escaping past your defenses and rolling down your cheek as you let out a small laugh. Robb’s left hand moves to your cheek, cupping it as he smiles down at you, his grin just as bright and wide as your own. 

“I can’t believe it,” you whisper, still in shock. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“I told you we’d see each other again.”

-

Jaime had been taken captive by your brother, a hefty prize in the battle to save your father and sisters.

You wonder, as you rode back to your brother’s camp, while you felt guilty. Why the thought of Jaime being a prisoner upset you so, even if you’d never say it outwardly. He was a Lannister after all, and not more than a few hours ago had you placed all the blame upon his shoulders. But now, with no certainty of what your brother planned to do with him, you felt guilty. You were worried for his safety and wellebeing. You... thought of his capture with disdain.

You don’t ponder on the thought, holding onto your brother tighter. You let your head rest against his back, staring out at the abyss of trees and grass and land before you. Until, Robb’s voice interrupts the silence, “Y/N, look.” You heed to his words, raising your head up off his back to stare past his shoulders. When your eyes land on your mother, the wave of disbelief floods through you once more.

You’re suddenly anxious to get off the horse, to reach your mother and run into her arms like you used to when you were a little girl. And even if you’re still across the field, you swear your eyes meet hers and you watch as she tries to hold back her own tears, immense relief flooding her entire body. She’d been scared, you realized in that moment, that Robb would not make it back but she hadn’t expected you to be with him. 

When you finally reach her, you all but jump off the back of Robb’s horse. Your hands gather your skirts, picking up the speed in your step as you rush over to your mother, a choked sob leaving her lips as she wraps her arms around your shoulders. You fall into her embrace easily, cuddling into her just like you had Robb, your eyes falling shut at the feeling of her hand on the back of your head, soothing you.

It had been so lonely these past few weeks. Sure, you’d had your father and sisters, but you’d barely been allowed to see them. And then you’d missed your mother and brother, terribly so. Yet, here you were, back in your mother’s arms and you couldn’t be more happier. More relieved. 

“My sweet, sweet girl,” your mother whispers, pulling back slightly to cup both of your cheeks. Her thumb works to wipe your tears away, smiling softly at the sight of you back in her grasp. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too,” you whisper, your voice cracking as you lean into your mother once more.

You don’t notice it, too lost in your own thoughts. But as mother holds you close, her gaze rises, falling on Robb’s who hasn’t left your sides. She smiles at her eldest son, mouthing the words; “thank you.” It may not be all of her children, and there was still much more work to be done, but she at least had one of her daughters back. And she didn’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.

The moment is interrupted by the sounds of footsteps. You pull back from your mother’s grasp slightly, composing yourself when you notice Jaime, hands chained behind his back, being led over to where you and mother are stood with Robb. Your back straightens, as if remembering where you were, and you feel mother’s grip tighten on you slightly, holding you closer. You also don’t miss the way Robb steps in front of you, somewhat shielding you from view from Jaime who is unceremoniously dropped to the ground at your feet.

“By the time they knew what was happening, it had already happened,” Robb explains, glaring down at your husband. As Jaime picks himself up, eyes flickering to those around him, his eyes land on you. It’s the first time he’s seen you since he left you in that tent a few hours ago, and you inhale sharply as you meet his gaze, time slowing for a moment. However, his attention is pulled away the minute Robb presses the tip of his sword against Jaime’s chin, tilting his gaze towards him. 

“Lady Stark,” Jaime greets your mother, chuckling slightly. “I’d offer you my sword, but I seemed to have lost it.”

“It is not your sword that I want,” your mother growls. “Give me my daughters back. Give me my husband.”

Jaime’s eyes then land on you. “I believe you’ve already found one.”

Mother then pushes you behind her, you stumbling slightly in response as her voice turns colder, harsher. “All my daughters.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Jaime sighs; “I've lost them too, i’m afraid.”

“Kill him, Robb,” Theon suddenly speaks with force and you can’t help the gasp that leaves your lips. Instantly, your widen eyes fall on the back of your brothers head. “Send his head to his father. He cut down ten of our men. You saw him--”

Regrettably, Robb’s next words fill you with instant relief. “He’s more useful to us alive then dead.”

“Take him away and put him in irons,” Catelyn orders, her heavy gaze never leaving Jaime’s.

“We could end this war right now, boy,” Jaime offers as he’s brought up to his feet. “Save thousands of lives. You fight for the Starks, I fight for the Lannisters. Swords or lances, teeth, nails, choose your weapons and let’s end this, here and now.”

Lips parting, you swallow thickly.

“If we do it your way, Kingslayer,” Robb begins, “you’d win. We’re not doing it your way.”

“Come on, pretty man,” Greatjon growls, tugging Jaime away. You watch as he’s pulled away, biting your lip as laughter and cheering echoes on around you. Laughter and excitement you just can’t rejoice in. You’re happy, beyond happy, to be back with your mother and brother but as you watch Jaime be led away, you can’t help the empty feeling in your chest.

A empty feeling you thought would’ve gone now that you were with your family, but was still there, it the pit of your chest. And it was because of Jaime. Because Jaime’s safety was unsure and there was nothing, rightfully, you could do about it. 

Theon steps forward then, catching your attention. Robb can’t seem to mimic the smile on his face as he sighs. “I sent two thousand men to their grave today.”

“The bards will sing songs of their sacrifice,” Theon reminds.

“Aye,” Robb sighs, “but the dead won’t hear them.”

He turns to look at your mother, then you. As you meet his eyes, you nod softly, ignoring your own inner thoughts, encouraging him. That seems to give him the push he needs, stepping past Theon to face his army. “One victory does not make us conquerors. Did we free my father?” You frown at the mention of your father, shoulders falling as you envision the last time you’d spoken with him. “We saved my sister, yes,” you blink as Robb gestures to you, meeting his eyes briefly. “But what about the other two? Have we rescued them from the queen? Did we free the north from those who want us on our knees?

Pausing a moment, Robb let’s his eyes wander across his army. “This war is far from over.”

-

Part 5?

Let me know what you thought!

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[kfawkes]

Promise - [Eggsy Unwin x Reader]

[AHHH THIS WAS SO FUCKING MUCH FUN HOLY SHIT lol. This is sorta like a TGC sequel…. kinda??? Sorta, lol with a fix it where everyone is happy lol. But its angsty af too because yes. :) Hope you like it anon!!!! Also hope you like the end I worked hard on that for you lol. As usual the codename Tristan is used for you :)

Pairing: Eggsy x Reader with Roxy, Merlin AND Harry lol. I had fun with this one.

Words: 3.1K I am so sorry hahahaha

Warnings: Cursing, angst, sorta spoilers but not really?

— Read on Ao3!]

“You can’t actually be suggesting that we don’t tell her. This is her fi—” Roxy started, quite loudly might you add.

“Of course not, but she doesn’t need t—“

Roxy was standing across from Merlin, and he seemed to have been just as affected by whatever the hell was happening. You clearly had walked in on a moment, a tense one at that. And by the shift in air and cascade of silence as you stepped forward, you had a feeling just who the ‘her’ in question was.

But… what the fuck were they talking about?

Roxy took an uneasy step from Merlin, pulling her top lip between her teeth as she slid her slender fingers to her hips; unable to look at you. Merlin behaved just as suspiciously, shuffling his weight and pulling a hand across his chin while he absently tapped his notepad to his thigh.

It was hard for you to talk at first, and not knowing what was happening didn’t help one bit. One thing you did know was that you really didn’t like when people talked about you… especially when the conversation was heated and/or involved not telling you something.

Before you spoke you sent out a soft smile; one not nearly as convincing as you wanted it to be as you crossed your arms. “Tell me what?”

Neither of them had even tried denying you were their subject; but after a moment they both slid their eyes to yours almost guiltily as if on queue. Roxy gritted her teeth before stepping towards you, twiddling her fingers anxiously at her navel.

“What?” When you spoke this time, you didn’t bother masking your confusion and near engulfing anger. Those nerves sent their familiar prickle of anxiety through you so strongly it tingled clear to your fingertips, and you needed to know what was going on. “What is it?”

“Eggsy… He-there’s been… something happened during the mission.” Roxy’s brows were dark, and so were her pale amber eyes.

“Wh… what do y—,” You paused to swallow down the lump that began forming in your throat as your mouth went dry. Moving your eyes from Roxy to Merlin’s offered no sense of comfort, and his were much darker than hers had been… Now as you finish he wasn’t even able to even look at you anymore. “What happened?”

Neither of them offered their response, and your eyes immediately began filling with warm tears; they pressed ferociously at your lids begging for release. “He’s… Eggsy’s okay, right? He— there w-was an accident, he—he’s hurt… bu-but he’s okay, he’s fine… right?”

But you knew by the look they sent you that Eggsy was anything but ‘fine’.

“He’s not…” You breathed lightly trying to ground yourself as you leaned back on Merlin’s desk.

Roxy stepped forward again, attempting to place a hand to your shoulder, but you pulled back forcefully. You weren’t mad at her, of course you weren’t… But you knew what that touch meant and you didn’t want to believe it— you wouldn’t.

Only, by the way she looked at you as she shook her head softly, you knew you couldn’t deny it.

Those eyes of hers were so heavy and full of despair; and in that second it felt like a bomb had been dropped atop your head. You couldn’t hear anything… you couldn’t see anything, there was just a dull persistent ringing clanging in your otherwise still mind.

“No. There– it’s not possible.” You began shaking your head profusely standing in protest; the denial setting in, sinking its teeth into your worried flesh. And now you were losing your balance as the sickly feeling stuck to you like tree sap.

You were so light headed, so fucking confused that you nearly forgot where you were. The tears weren’t gentle, but coursing and pouring with a vengeance and all you could see were flashes of his face…

Flashes of black and Eggsy’s smile…

Another flash of darkness began creeping, poisoning your mind and vision as you nearly felt his hands sliding up your neck and into your hair…

Then all you could hear was dull ringing in the silence; the voices of your friends and coworkers were muffled and echoing as if in the distance…

“No… please no.”

———

It’s quite… it’s so damn quiet.

It’s been this way since you lost Eggsy and all you felt was emptiness. Deep, dark, emptiness and part of you wondered if this would ever get better.

Since Eggsy died, you had trouble doing the simplest things. Everything you did was a chore. Breathing was a chore, eating was a chore… Even the things you loved were hard for you to do, and you knew it wasn’t right. That he wouldn’t want you to rot away alongside him wherever the hell that was…

But you couldn’t help it. There just didn’t seem to be a point anymore as terrible as that sounds. And if there was? You were having a hard time seeing it lately.

You’d never loved anything the way you loved Eggsy, and not having a body to bury made everything that much worse. It was like you couldn’t find closure… because as crazy as it sounds, without a body there was still a chance he could be alive, wasn’t there?

Eggsy would never give up on you, you couldn’t give up on him. Even though you knew, deep down you knew… it was pointless.

All you could hear right now is Eggsy promising you he’d always make it back to you. That you’d never be alone…

Funny enough… you were alone, and that’s exactly how you felt.

And that just made things harder to accept. It was hard to accept that the only person you ever loved was gone forever. That someone could be here one day, and just… gone the next. That everything you admired and cared for had just been erased suddenly; like wiping a fucking computer. Reduced to a name on a tombstone and a bunch of fucking pictures and memories too painful to revisit.

It was hard to move on when you had someone like Eggsy showing you just how special you were… Showing you everyday that you were meant to be his. That he was it: your end game.

It’d been 6 months, and it still felt fresh every morning you woke in that bed; cold and alone. A painful reminder that you lost everything locked around your ring finger, unspoken vows and broken promises… But you had to try to be a person, didn’t you? If not for yourself, at least for Eggsy.

So today, like all days you rolled over lazily— exhausted even though you’d slept at least 10 hours. The funny thing about being depressed was that you could sleep as much as you wanted, but you still woke up just as tired. Or… maybe that wasn’t funny now that you thought about it.

You eyed the empty space beside you with heavy eyelids, curling your lips into a pained frown. The wound reopening and poring its fresh blood across you and for a second you could almost see Eggsy there again… Laying shirtless on his stomach; with his broad shoulders hiding the lower half of his face, his arms stuffed under his pillow effortlessly… That golden crown of hair every which way from the night before, and his restful slumber shining in the sunlight.

You reached your hand out, wanting to feel his warmth there, but you only felt emptiness instead. The cold, crisp reminder that he was really gone and like a wave it overtook you once more. Pulling you into its wild current and you couldn’t breathe.

And as the feelings take you over, you shoved your face into his pillow almost desperately. It still smelled like him, but if you kept this shit up it wouldn’t for much longer and that scared you.

JB and Prince noticed your fit, but of course they did… Within seconds they both began licking your face and the fingers you draped over it affectionately. They missed Eggsy almost as much as you did, that much was clear but they didn’t understand where he went the way you did… how could they?

You wiped your eyes with the long sleeves of his button up, throwing your heavy arms around them both, pulling them tightly into a hug.

“I’m sorry you guys…” You whispered into JB’s head as you pressed kisses to both of them.

You were half ready to just call in today… let Roxy and Harry deal with whatever needed to be done while you ate a tub of lavender ice cream while crying and watching some romantic movie with a happy ending. But when you looked at your phone and read the message across the screen, you felt a strange trickle rushing through you.

MESSAGES

Merlin

‘It’s urgent. Bring JB.’

———

When you made it to Kingsman things felt… weird. Off. Like something wasn’t right. But it wasn’t every day your coworkers asked you to bring in your dead fiancés dog to work, so clearly something was up.

The message alone was enough to get you out of the house in less than 10 minutes, but considering you basically gave up on personal care or looking– well, not dead, that was close to your average nowadays.

When you pushed through the doors of the shop Merlin, Roxy and Harry were all there clearly awaiting your arrival. As you stepped closer they all stood anxiously and you felt it like a truck had slammed into your chest at full speed.

“What the hell is this… is this an intervention or something? Cause if it is, I’m goi—” You started taking a defensive step towards the door as you pull JB closer to your chest protectively.

“No, Tristan… It’s nothing like that.” Roxy started shaking her head with brows lowered. The look she wore was one you didn’t know so well and it made you more nervous than you were before.

“Then… what is it like? This is— kinda… weird don’t you think?” You were rather uneasy and talking faster than you wanted to be, but seriously just… what the fuck was this?

“We… we have something to show you.” Merlin cleared his throat before talking, his hand held his other wrist tightly. “Try not to… be alarmed if you can manage.”

Harry just sent you a soft smile lowering his head slightly in a nod; and you tried to read the expression behind his eye, but his too was nearly impossible to understand.

“Okay… what?” You breathed out with chest heaving tenaciously. JB was beginning to wrestle about in your arms, so you dropped him to your feet lightly.

“Do you remember when Eggsy and I found Harry… How he didn’t really know who he was?” Merlin asked raising his brows at you passively releasing his grip on his wrist as he signal towards Harry.

“Yeah, of course. What about it?” You asked tossing them all a quick glance, feeling as though you were late and seriously unprepared for a performance. “What are you trying to say…”

You didn’t realize it at first with how overwhelmed you were feeling, but Harry had left the room.

Merlin was talking still, but now you weren’t listening… Instead you were watching as Harry walked slowly down the stairs tucked behind the register. You listened as a second set of feet made their way behind him… Your eyes followed as JB ran from your side and up the stairs, barking excitedly.

All you could see were two legs in a pair of bright white adidas. After a moment two arms kneeled down to pet him and your breath was so fast, that you felt like your heart was seconds away from bursting through your chest; Aliens style.

But you just watched anxiously as the hands lifted JB up, and continued their decent down the steps leisurely…

Time itself was moving so slowly that it felt like everything had almost stopped and you didn’t know what to expect… what you’d see…

But when the man reached the base of the stairs… it was Eggsy, just like you knew it would be.

He was there, just standing and looking from Roxy to Harry, then ending on Merlin… Smiling wide and pure as JB licked his face excitedly.

Tears filled your eyes immediately, and you felt your whole body begin to shake as you stare at him. Watching in awe as he looked at JB still holding that perfectly cheeky smile you loved so fucking much. The smile you were sure you’d never see again…

“An who’s this?” Eggsy asked not looking from the pug he held tightly, enjoying the shower of affection.

Eggsy still hadn’t noticed you standing off in the corner by the door and it was apparent that he didn’t recognize JB at all… At that realization you took in a deep pained gasp; one that was far too loud, throwing your hand over your mouth as the salted tears slipped from your eyes aggressively.

He darted his gaze to yours immediately upon your exhale, clearly being caught by surprise; and at first he looked so young and innocent… like someone else entirely. And he didn’t know who the fuck you were…

“This guy yours?” Eggsy asked, hardly seeming to notice you…

You pulled your hand from your mouth, still not moving or speaking as you send your tongue to wet your lips. When he looked at you again, you shook your head ever so slightly back and fourth in silent reply.

In the next seconds you watched as Eggsy’s eyes changed. That azure stare shifted as he narrowed his eyes on yours; scanning you like the pages of a book he could hardly make out. A moment later he stepped closer, each footstep more cautious than the last; with eyes still pushed to thin slits. The expression he wore was one you’d seen a hundred times before. It was the same look he made when he was trying to remember an actors name, or the title of some song stuck in his head…

Like something was on the tip of his tongue… but he just couldn’t figure out what it was.

He cocked his head slightly, standing between the two tables holding their respective items sporting that same bewildered look. His lips parted as he place JB to the ground taking another leery step in your direction. “I… I know you, don’I?”

You still couldn’t speak, but you nodded once with lips clenched together like they were glued in place.

“Wh… where do I…” Eggsy started with uncertainty, then turned to look at Harry sharply. He pulled his hand to his head gripping his eyes shut behind a tight fist, his face pulled about uncomfortably.

You stepped closer to him instinctively, wanting nothing more than to protect him. To hug him, and tell him how much you loved him and missed him. You didn’t even give a shit how he got there, or that he was legally dead… You could figure all that shit out later.

What mattered now was that he was here… that he was alive.

After a moment Eggsy lifted his face to yours, his eyes wide matching your own. His lips parted again as he swallowed deeply before saying your name.

In a flash you closed the space between each other, pressing your bodies together tightly like you couldn’t be close enough. The pull was so strong it was magnetic and you never wanted to let him go. The way he kissed you was deep, fervent, and you honestly didn’t care if you were just stuck in some sick dream.

When you separated you noticed that the others had already retreated someplace else; offering the privacy you so desperately needed. You were full of questions, and desperate for answers but nothing came out but more tears.

Eggsy put both of his hands around your face, holding you softly between them as he wipe the tears away with his thumbs. “How long’s it been, luv? Why’s it feel like years since I done that?”

You pulled your hands to rest around his wrists as you rub your thumbs on the  back of his hands. When you spoke, you could hardly raise above a whisper and your tone was lined with reluctance. “6 months and 22 days…”

Eggsy shook his head unbelieving, released a pained exhale at your chest; his mouth opening and taking many shapes before he pulled his lip tightly between his teeth. He looked like he was going to break for a moment, but his eyes lightened and he smiled at you so sweetly that all of your worries began seeping away.

“Did you miss me?” He asked softly, his words sweet like honey as he kissed you on the tip of your nose.

“That’s what you have to say? Seriously?” You laughed pushing him playfully in the stomach, feeling the familiar way he flinched at your soft pokes; and for a moment you were back to normal. Back to before you had to live a life without him in it, if you could really call what you did living…

He pulled you closer, locking his arms around your waist securely. “Bit better than ‘I lived’, innit?”

“I don’t know what the fuck I expected.” You confessed, deciding that this was most definitely the response you’d anticipated. Leave it to Eggsy to crack a joke after coming back from the dead, so to say…

But it really was nice to laugh again and it was amazing to have him back– even his shitty one liners.

Eggsy kissed you again, softer than the last time; like he was soaking you up as he pulled one hand to the back of your neck softly. Breathing you in like a long forgotten scent, and in a way: you were. “I love you so fuckin’ much, you know that don’ya?”

“Love you too, Eggy.” You scanned each new pale scar that decorated his chin as you pulled your fingers across the one over his eyebrow; tracing it lightly. “I can’t lose you again…”

“You ain’t gonna. Was a one time thing— my dyin’, I swear it.” He reassured you with confidence so strong, there was no denying he believed it wholeheartedly.

So you kissed him, finally feeling whole again. “Do you promise?”

“Promise, luv. Told ya, didn'I? Was always gonna come back to ya… jus lost my way for a bit.”

You weren’t sure he could really make a promise like that again, but for now you were prepared to believe anything that slipped from his perfect lips. And if you’d learned anything from this mess, it was that if anyone could keep their word… it was Eggsy.

“Always.”

[phoenixvidz-blog]

Trove Fishing Bot

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