#wwx knows and thinks it’s hilarious and does his own commentary for his husband

[liverbiver9]

Nie Huaisang stands at the top of the stairs in the perfect spot to see all the incoming sect leaders with ease but also hidden enough to hide from dage who was surely looking for him by now. He taps his fan to his chin as he eyes Sect Leader Ouyang’s arrival.

“Whatcha doin?”

Nie Huaisang startles, jumping in the air.

“Wei Xiong!” he whines. “You can’t do that to me! You know how sensitive I am.”

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes and sidles up next to him.

“Sooo,” he sings. “What are we doing?”

“Watching the arrivals.”

NHS gives WWX a critiquing glance over, running two of his fingers along his black sleeves.

“Hm. You get silver. Points for the red ribbon, I do love a signature, but hemp cloth? For a Discussion Conference? Really, Wei Xiong?”

“What’s wrong with hemp?” he frowns, looking down at his robes. “It’s very durable and rarely stains, especially when dyed so dark.”

NHS rolls his eyes. “Hemp is all well and good for training or night hunts or whatever, but not for a conference. Look at Sect Leader Chang from Yueyang. He gets gold—nice silk with a gorgeous brocade, delicate layers but not overly heavy or gaudy. That shade of blue really isn’t his color, though.”

“So…” WWX frowns. “We’re… judging their clothes?”

“Yes, Wei Xiong; do keep up,” NHS sighs.

“What’s the ranking?”

“Copper, silver, gold, jade.”

“Well shijie obviously gets jade,” WWX says. NHS, wisely, doesn’t argue. “And Jiang Cheng gets silver only because he punched me earlier today.”

“Jiang Cheng does have good taste in robes,” NHS admits. “Did you see Jin Guangshan?”

WWX wrinkles his nose. “He looked like gold threw up on him.”

“Absolutely dreadful. All that money and not a lick of good taste. Copper for sure.”

“Sect Leader Yao looks like he’s covered in grass stains,” WWX remarks.

NHS snorts. “Whoever dyed that silk needs to find a new job.”

They go back and forth for a while, scathingly judging the cultivation gentry’s appearances for the Discussion Conference. When the Lan climb the stairs to Koi Tower, WWX gets suspiciously quiet. NHS pays him no mind and continued his critique.

“Erge looks regal as always. Ooh, I helped pick out that brocade! It looks gorgeous on him, I’m almost jealous. Definitely jade. Lan ergonzi looks… as stony as usual. His robes aren’t nearly as flashy as erge’s but they’re a nice, muted accompaniment. I’ll be generous and give him gold.”

“No!” WWX suddenly says, voice almost loud enough to draw attention towards them. He shrugs off NHS’s shushing. “Look at the finer layers of his robes. He has more embroidery than Zewu Jun, it’s just subtle. And the way the blue under layers ripple beneath the white makes him look like a river god walking on water. He absolutely deserves to be jade.”

NHS looks at WWX silently, but the other boy is too focused on watching a specific Twin Jade to notice.

“Yeah,” NHS agrees slowly, tapping his fan to his chin. His eyes don’t leave WWX’s face, parsing his complicated expression with a knowing smirk. “They are the Twin Jades, after all.”

My friend said that Discussion Conferences should be the MDZS Met Galas