#wtf why am I an amnesiac

[velourria]

does anyone know the name of that movie where this family is on vacation and this one blonde dude comes into their house and just wont leave? and he like breaks this dudes leg with a golf club

i want to rewatch it but I can't remember

[drsteggy]

So, you’re in the midst of a revamp/repost of Uneasy Lies the Chosen of Farore. I’m enjoying it immensely! Where did the idea come from and what inspired you to write a retelling of LoZ with older, seasoned characters?

Thank you so much!!

So I was old and seasoned when I picked up my first Zelda game (Breath of the Wild) I was also in a really bad place personally and that game was an entire ride for me from what do you mean FOUR divine beasts gtfo I’m never gonna be able to do that to oh hey I can do this.

It was very easy for me to put myself in the boots of that amnesiac kid- he was constantly being regaled with stories about what he did a hundred years earlier without a ton of evidence behind it and my career is really great about installing imposter syndrome in you if, somehow, you didn’t show up to grad school with it. I mean, the games are kind of designed to be a self insert.

But I wasn’t a teenager and I was a different person when I was, so at some point I wondered what it would be like if I got my hands on the master sword. From there it wasn’t really much of a stretch to create a self insert named Link lol.

My life and Link’s don’t really March in step exactly- I finally got a therapist instead of talking my shit out with a tree. He is a much bigger train wreck at the start of the fic than I ever was. I had a much better support system than he ever did. But I did draw on some things from my life to put him together.

Also- at the time I was writing it, I was in some circles that were very well adults should not write teenagers in relationships and you’re a gross adult if you age them up so I was very well wtf am I supposed to do here…and that’s why they are not an aged up Breath of the Wild couple. Or from another game. I figured the canon was loose enough I could just invent my own and no one would come for me about it.

This didn’t actually prevent people from coming for me about it and I got accused of pedophilia for writing a fade to black story about them married in their 40s (no I don’t understand that either) soooooo write whatever you actually want to write about lol.

Anyway this is becoming its own novel and my lunch hour is ending but thanks for the ask! I love talking about him 💜

[vind3miat0r]

Hush EA Spoilers.

WOAAHHH OKAY I AM GENUINELY TWEAKING WTF WAS THAT??? /POS

OKAY. okay. a LOT to unpack here holy shit

first off, loving the soft Hush and Doc interactions at the beginning, the babygirl is learning! i love them ahsgajdh and Hush asking Doc to hold his hand :(((

VEGAS REFORMING. oh. wow.

it sounds like Hush only pulled together the parts of Vega from before the Cacophony ended. he has a better(?) view of humans, and he doesnt seem so vindictive of them as of yet

one thing that caught my attention is that Vega said "I am the first-formed of Gravity." he's one of the first demons. i even theorized as much in my last tinfoil hat post (therefore it is my legal right to say "HAH! called it!") that makes the Sovereign's cruelness towards demons even more sad, cuz he knew what they were like before they were evil n shit

another thing that Vega said was that he was the "Anacrusis of his (D'Deridahn's) Phrase." (this is referring to when he's repeating his whole name). again, we already know that "anacrusis" means "one or more unstressed syllables at the beginning of a verse."

i said in an earlier theory that the term "Anacruses" might be a fancy title for old demons. Vega said he's the "Anacrusis of [D'Deridahn's] Phrase." so, i think in some aspects, i was right, but "Anacruses" is more specific: it refers to the first demon created by a Sovereign; the "Phrase" in question being the line of demons created by that Sovereign, and the Anacrusis of that phrase being the first demon. do you see where im going with this?

speaking of lines, Vega said "When you made the Well. When you formed the line."

now, the obvious jump we can make with this is that Hush is the one who created the Elision Well in Aria. we already know from previous audios that Hush was someone else before he was Hush. he maintains that he was created (recently) by the Sovereigns, but Vega calling him "Egregore of the Sovereigns" clearly says that Hush indeed was someone else beforehand

whats interesting is that Vega doesnt say that Hush (or Egregore) is a Sovereign; he says "of the Sovereigns," which is funny because Egregore sounds like a very Sovereign-esque name, not a star's name like a demon's. looks like Egregore is a creation of the Sovereigns too, but what is he? is he the same as Hush, the silence in the spellsong? or is he something completely different, like a lesser Sovereign, or the first demon? could the naming conventions have been different back then? or maybe, its the opposite direction, with Egregore being an angel-type character?

and what is the "line" that Vega refers to? i assume that it has to do with the Well, considering that he says, "When you made the Well. When you formed the line." maybe its the line of yet-to-be-formed demons, lying in wait just beyond perceptibility?? we dont know why demons have kept forming in the Well after the Sovereigns were chained to Death, Avior said as much im sure; and granted, we dont even know how or why the Well was formed in the first place, but we do now know that Hush/Egregore was responsible for it

wrapping this up with YIPPEE THEYRE GONNA GO FIND WARDEN!! THEYRE GONNA GO LOOK FOR MY BABYGIRL!!!! i love Warden sm, they have a special place in my heart augh. cant wait for Hush to show up with their presumed dead situationship and be like "can you fix him 🥺🥺🥺" and for Warden to be like "WHAT THE FUCK??!" need to see them get angry on god frfr

in conclusion, Hush reforms Vega, Vega drops some Hush lore while also being an amnesiac, and sends all the theorizers of the fandom into a tail-spin trying to figure the meaning of the cryptic titles he keeps spitting out. uhhh damn thats crazy. anyways, thank you for coming to my ted talk, and remember: its just a theory (a game theory–)

[takeyourdailydoseofcyanide]

when say “how much longer can do this ?” am either laughing laughing laughing . or sobbing . NO in between you see . or both . Or none . feel high . why . fogged . dizzy. please let me go please please please . they didn’t take me how many more mirrors must be shattered ? Blood spilled YES will make a partisian uh WILL make good . either them or me ? BOTH can be both of us . LAUGH I think this is a dream HAH please let me out BODY IS USELESS TO ME LET ME OUT none of this my own none of words thoughts feelings NONE let me out . blood . cut myself out of body ? But excruciating :( BUT WANT . IS THIS WAS TO BE DONE ? not suicide , but suicide good PLEASE but won’t let me BERTER NOT FAIL but how wanted helium BUT NO . Want rip apart body want feed it to violent hungry mutts stomp on it crush it under hydraulic press . agitating overstimulating body . PLSSS .

I don’t know where I am so confused can’t even explain so confused confused horribly so fogged Awnd in mirrors why everyone against well know but hm cancer pls take me BUT NOOO what if not cancer anyway take it to pathologist no cancer pls be stage 4 see if it works an experiment ! Should take lots lots lots pills ? them zofran no throw up :( choke on vomit . stomach no pumped . PLS . Must find way . Heheheje this depressing horrifying but amusing all same heheh you people all same all also skdkskk CAN CUT THE TUMOR OUT MYSELF HHAHAHA PLS CAN CUT OFF ANY SEMBLANCE OF BREAST TOO DONT WANT RHEM CUT ITF OFF OFF CUT IUT THINGS HUSTERECTOMY . yay . much blood ! Already rip pieces chunks off . “Oral surgeon needs to-“ NO. Will put it in baggy n give it to surgeon . white coat . can give to pathology . BUT WANT BE NONEXISTENFE LET ME NOT EXIST . NONE KF THIS IS DEAL AHAHHAHAHAHASU REAL I MEAN DONT KNOW WHERE I AM AM GIGGLIG PLS HELP . this is a cry for help . HAHA . Food so icky . Hate it . but so so so dizzy ! put peach slices chunks in mouth . Chewed. Swallowed . those aren’t too bad . Not good At basic task like eating . Horrible at it . don’t want stupid caretaker . NO . hhahahahah am amusing this amusing . So fogged but am giggling now because WOW . none real. Not know where am nothing ! Cried too much . giggle time . then nothing Time . Cyanide apparently expressionless . then have erratic expression . HAHA . WHAT IS THAT wish everyone could see them all time they funny scary but amusing LOOOK weird little guy sits stand tall guy in hallway . Live tweeting shadow people is this the term ? not good with slang . is that slang ? Idk not sociable enough for slang or whatever AHAHA A TALL GUY SCARY :((( TALL GUY SILLy :))) HELL ME stockholm silly silly silly SCARY STUFF PICTURES ? MIRRIORS? scary :( emoticons silly :) :p :О :0 :o :3 :/ ;( ;) :-) 0-0 ok ok ok stop now lost in fog mounds mounds mounds of fog SEE fabric OF REALITY KEEP TEaring in front of me . not good with slang terminology . have lead here . Mad scientist cyanide for the win , been called one think before . hm . Lots . Remember nothing . say amnesia . AMNESIAC . but am I ? have I forgotten anything ? don’t know anymore . CONFUSION SO THICK YOU FKRGET FORGETTING WTF you seen that ? no bc am typing you’re not here LIVEGWEET THE SHADOW PPL N OTHER WEIRD ANOMOALKES BRIUGHT ON BY THEM z interested peach juice :((( gimme pls :((( 0-0 but GIVE ME ? give me . WHERE THE FUCK AM I THIS ISNT A JOKE WHERE AM I . Forget about tumblr lots Z have remembered MONE OF THSI OHHAHAJ THIS CURATED NONESNESE left arm healing forgot bout that but seen it . blood . WHERE AM I

[artbribery]

But what if danny became jason became danny.

As in, coming out of death portal/pit, both 14 year olds suddenly take each other's place.

And hey, if they act a little... a lot different? Well, this was a traumatic event that would leave anyone absolutely changed.

it's like they became a completely different person.

Jason was very amnesiac, much confusion when he went in so it could be excused that he will panick and show absolutely no chill at being surrounded by strangers that aren't doctors, let alone ninjas, when he came back to life

(after the shock and subsequent almost drowning that went from vertical standing in a hell/hallway to horizontal swimming in a hell-pool. the reverse is also applicable to jason-as-danny)

Oh Jason lost all his fighting skills? He doesn't know Bruce or Gotham? Must be some trauma response. No matter, there are no flaws to correct, just a blank canvas to paint on!

Bad times for "Jason" might include: oh no my morals, murder and stuff, is this hell and all these ghosts?, incredible anger issues, a whole cult of ninjas, coming to terms with the situation that went from 0 to 100 (like, seriously, nothing had ever happened to danny before), evil cult leader and the ??? cult leader's daughter that is kinda your mentor now?,

On the flipside

Danny hasn't yet had his rebellious teenager phase right? He seems very withdrawn for some reason?

Danny? Reading the classics? Doing well in literature class? Lancer is very proud and very concerned

Suddenly Danny is out of the house and won't return until very late, Teenagers am i right? Wanting their independence and all

His friends seem worried but guilty, maybe they had a falling out? And that's why they don't seem to hang out? Don't wanna look too close, they'll figure themselves out, I'm sure

Danny? Awkward string bean and nasa nerd, getting into fights? He really grew a spine, he must have grown tired of the bullying

Bad times for "Danny" might include: first prize for weirdest basement, oh no powers out of my control, im? dead? or not???, suspicious nosy sister who wants to psychoanalyze him, great(derogatory)- new rogue gallery just for me, regular teenage problems, oh yeah evil rich godfather probably

and

(problem that might: oh yeah this is not my body and that's not my name wtf)

Bonus

I am assuming the mish-mash things they have would be those pertaining to the body they just pseudo-isekai'd to but what if

they followed the soul

the powers followed danny, the anger followed jason

which would mean that "danny" would be reliant on the fenton tech which would not be too different from being robin, gadgets and all, and would be an absolute vicious terror on ghosts

which would mean "jason" would be in absolute hell because the waters already made people some sort of meta but this was never seen before,

dam boi can't catch a break

Jason, The Chosen one, it must be Fate, the will of Lazarus, we either become the next "molecule by molecule" in an effort to find out more or we will worship the child—the league of shadows maybe

Or

They don't bodyswap and but still swap stuff

(but who's danny angry at? his parents? sam and tucker? ghosts?)

(in other news jason is a meta now, yep, ghost? no, whatever made you think that... he is still in hot water though,, for that whole "anomaly" thing)

This is all assuming they both don't get away at the first chance they get and actually deal with the "life" they were thrown into

[bitedownme]

Losing it completely. I am reading about the Starfish and all related things (easier stuff to digest at first because the anti-narrative thing which is not really related to it already broke my brain). Somehow my brain wanders off into space and thinks of my OC instead while simultaneously managing to somewhat comprehend what I read.

Oh, we're reading about the book that failed because of Luck? Let's think about your guy instead! You love theaters right? Then throw your guy into the theater at some veeeery unfortunate time and here we go, welcome new hostage apprentice. (Why? They don't need him at all wtf) Why? No fucking idea, I don't think in eldritch deity. (WAIT THEY'RE NOT A DEITY???)

Thanks, brain, But I Need You To Read Instead of trying to justify my character being an amnesiac seer or whatever. This is not even related to the Fifth in the first place!

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

well i read some more spoilers and i have been wrong since my very first post. in fact my first post seems pretty much the opposite of what really happens. big L for me

so gabe/beez had their meetcute on the tarmac, fell VERY QUICKLY in love, and then when heaven started gearing up for Armageddon 2.0 gabriel protested loudly on account of not wanting to go to war against his precious lil wubbubbubbub, and so as punishment heaven wiped his brain with a squeegee and dumped him

(heaven wiping an angel’s brain as punishment for denouncing armageddon and dumping him in the middle of nowhere is my backstory for my WIP a/c cute neighbour next door human au just kidding it’s an amnesiac!aziraphale au so uh i don’t know if i can write that now (not that i could finish a planned big multi-chap like that). i mean i could but like. do i post screenshots of me vomiting my pitch to einzel (hi einzel<3) a year ago as proof i’m not just rewriting s2. not in a “turns out i thought up the exact same idea (just with characters swapped) as Acclaimed Author Neil Gaiman at around the same time so i must be a fucking genius” way! more like a “i thought about how does an angel end up with amnesia and why- well this is the most logical plot i could think of [for aziraphale], but this is just a silly au- oops and now i have proof my logic was solid because that’s exactly what happened”)

speaking of in-character (WARNING I AM ABOUT TO BE EVEN MORE FUCKING SELF-INVOLVED but i worry that my character motivations are often all over the place so i am trying to validate myself by going SEE. IT WAS IN THE SHOW. yay, my writing’s in-character- OH NO, MY WRITING’S IN-CHARACTER). and the last ten minutes of ep 6 (which i’ve read so much meta on and am still too fragile to watch), and people debating aziraphale’s motivations. i wrote this in an rp last year and i’m-

(for context, aziraphale and crowley got a bit tipsy in rome 33 AD, kissed, slept together, confessed feelings, cried about it a lot, and cuddled each other to sleep)

[TRANSCRIPTION: arin — 19/02/2022 14:27 When Aziraphale leaves, he leaves a note.

He wakes up before Crowley does, when the sun is barely peeking above the horizon. Aziraphale lies there for an hour, savouring every second of having Crowley pressed up next to him, trying and failing to convince himself to get up.

Eventually, he lifts Crowley's arm off him and slides out of bed, praying for Crowley to stay asleep. Forgive my cowardice, he thinks, as he dresses. I'll never leave otherwise.

He lingers over the bed, watching Crowley dream, more peaceful than Aziraphale has ever seen him before. Crowley is so heartachingly sweet, and it's killing Aziraphale to walk away.

He does, though. Aziraphale will do anything to keep Crowley safe. He will leave, he will push Crowley away, he will lie to him, he will break both their hearts if it means Crowley will be safe. END TRANSCRIPTION]

(the note said “Until we meet again <3 Burn after reading.”)

the inital reactions i saw for ep6 end were all “WTF WHY WOULD AZIRAPHALE DO THIS, THIS IS SO OUT OF CHARACTER, WHERE’S ALL HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT GONE, IS HE BEING MIND CONTROLLED BY THE METATRON TO ABANDON CROWLEY????” but it isn’t out of character if this is how you interpret aziraphale’s motivations. aziraphale would rather them be separated and miserable but alive than going out in a blaze of glory. and crowley would rather go out in a blaze of glory than be miserably separated from aziraphale. and they can’t fucking communicate for shit, hence incredible misunderstandings, unresolved cosmically-huge heartbreak, and a cliffhanger for us until 2026 AT EARLIEST. and i think that’s what people are really upset about

a greenlight for s3 won’t even be confirmed for a while, plus the WGA and SAG strikes (which yes i believe should take priority!) mean neil gaiman can’t even start working on potential scripts (but s3 was the part that he planned out with terry pratchett - about the Second Coming of the jeebus man - and the studio is paying the costs to store the sets and set-pieces). the fandom is desperate to see a resolution and a happy ending (which means the writing is good! if it makes you feel things that strong!) and being told right at Peak Heartbreak Point (for both the characters and the audience) “now you have to wait three/four years at least to see what happens next!” yeah i’m not surprised people started frothing at the mouth and going “WTF THIS ENDING IS BULLSHIT WDYM THAT’S HOW IT ENDS?????”

three days later, after everyone’s had time to calm down, the general opinion has seemed to shift from “HE WOULD DO FUCKING DO THAT WTF” to “no wait he would absolutely fucking do that. don’t get me wrong i’m still upset with him but the logic is solid”.

this post is just a very long essay-note TO MYSELF to remind myself not to be all “WTF THIS ENDING IS BULLSHIT HE WOULD NOT FUCKING DO THAT” when i am brave enough to see it, because i already said he would, so i’m not allowed to act all shocked pikachu when he does!

theory because i've only seen ep1: amnesiac gabriel is a ploy, and beezlebub already knows where gabriel is because ze put him there. this is all an orchestration to get michael to enact the Extreme Sanctions.

i'm thinking beezlebub erased gabriel's memories on purpose (with him being In On It), and sent him to aziraphale, knowing that michael would Extreme Sanction/Book of Life/erase aziraphale from existence upon finding gabriel there.

and they'd know that the first thing aziraphale would do would be to tell crowley. so beezlebub makes crowley the offer and tells him about the Extreme Sanctions. of course, crowley runs off to help aziraphale hide gabriel, and now beezlebub has justification to get michael to Extreme Sanction crowley too.

because if aziraphale and crowley are both erased from existence, then Armageddon will have happened as planned.

(what is the in-universe reason for beezlebub having a new corporation, anyway? were zey punished/tortured/discorporated by satan for both failing to convince adam to start Armageddon and failing to execute crowley? crowley brought up zeir new face, and maybe it's just a wink to the audience, but maybe there's more to it. my point is that beezlebub is in satan's bad books, hence this plan to erase a+c, have Armageddon run as planned, and never be in satan's bad books in the first place.)

(why can't they just Extreme Sanction them right now for stopping Armageddon? ...because then there wouldn't be a story, idk, i'm bullshitting this)

only gabriel could have had his memories erased, because he's the only one Important Enough, and only beezlebub could do it, because the rest of heaven Cannot Know that gabriel's memories were wiped on purpose, they have to make heaven believe that aziraphale did it in order to Extreme Sanction him.

as seen on the tarmac scene, gabriel and beezlebub respect each other; and presumably collaborated on aziraphale and crowley's planned executions. so either there's a tentative trust going on between them, or beezlebub is masterminding it (thanks for meeting me here gabriel hey look over there real quick /BONK), confident that ze won't get Found Out and Extreme Sanctioned zemselves.

so zey are sending little fly spies to make sure amnesiac gabriel stays put/doesn't do anything too stupid. the Something Terrible that would happen to gabriel is him not getting his memories back if beezlebub gets found out and erased.

[alexthemagicaldevil]

Things I learned via Hannah’s manager stream:

1. Might have two (or just one) new members to the Amnesiac Support Group

2. Sam is a, and I quote, “Good chicken,” to watch over the Egg

3. If Hannah ‘messes up’ again, she will, “Become a ghost,” to Sam, which might mean he’ll kill her. Fun times.

4. For whatever reason Sam and Boomer are hiding that they’ve known each other for longer than three days.

5. Hannah has, “Dealt with things like the Egg in the past,” which is why she thought she could fix the Egg in the first place, but for whatever reason she couldn’t.

So in conclusion, I am confused, intrigued, and vaguely horrified for what comes next. A good DSMP lore stream all around.

Additional things I learned from Boomer's stream:

1. We are the frog hat. My joy is immeasurable and my day is restored 2. Boomer is a Disney princess (his journey across the ocean, animal companion) 3. There are multiple Sam bodies. Fuck. "I wonder where his original body is?????" "I wonder how many bodies he has placed everywhere?????????" WTF. 4. Sam is just collecting as many nature spirits as possible huh 5. Sam and Boomer know each other like, way back. Like Sam is one of the first people Boomer ever met after 'existing.' Just. He's really leaning into the nature spirit thing, isn't he? I love it. 6. Boomer needs a certain amount of moisture to survive, he won't travel through the Nether because, "It's too hot, the water evaporates out of me." Froggy. 7. Who the fuck is THEY Boomer??? What do you mean THEY didn't tell you you were moving to a new area????

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

Genuinely confused why the game expects us to view the Dantooine council as the good guys after what they did to Juhani. While they're certainly not as blatantly bad as the Sith, they still let that poor woman succumb to the dark side by cruely letting her believe she killed her Jedi Master.

...Then continued to do nothing even when her force presence was causing the local wild life to go berserk and attack everything in sight, including innocent civilians.

... And then they sent the amnesiac Darth Revan to deal with her, fully aware that her death was a distinct possibility.

...And then they have the audacity to just shrug should you choose to kill her and view it as the will of the force if you claim she was unsavable.

Like, I'm sorry but wtf!? How am I suppose to trust these people!?!? I want to punch each and everyone of them!

(At least the second game acknowledges that this era's council were dumb as shit).

[thelargefrye]

GRIMOIRE: TALE OF TALES. DAY O3

── summary. you wake up with no memory and now you have to try and figure out who you are.

── roles. flower peddler!wooyoung, amnesiac!reader, turk!mingi

── genre. kind of dystopian, final fantasy vii inspired

── word count. 2k

── warnings. y/n has a certain eye color for plot, cussing, fighting, weapons (swords, guns, etc.), some magic

── main menu.

you wake up with a groan and a throbbing pain in your head. you struggle for a second before opening your eyes and looking around to find yourself laying in some sort of garden. another groan leaves your lips as you sit up and you immediately place a hand to your head as a way to stop the throbbing that pulses through your skull.

“hey stop moving so much you’re ruining my flowers!” a voice shouts at you catching you by surprise. your eyes immediately land on the sword beside you and as if by instinct you grab it and sling it towards the voice. “hey, whoa! calm down!”

your eyes land on the male in front of you and you feel another spike of pain go through your head and you wince. the male looks at you with concern and takes a step towards you, but the large sword in your hand stops him from coming any further.

“hey, hey it’s okay. i’m not gonna hurt you,” he says, putting his hands up to let you know that he doesn’t have a weapon on himself. you squint your eyes at him before slowly lowering the sword, but keeping it tight in your hand.

“how did i get here? where am i?” you ask, voice rough and hoarse.

the guy doesn’t say anything, instead points up towards the ceiling and you look up to see a good size hole in the ceiling. well that answers one question. you also take the chance to look around the building to see you crashed into a church. or an abandoned church by the looks of it.

you look back at the male to see he still has a look of concern on his face. you wince at how your head hurt once more. 

“are you okay?”

“i don’t know, do i look okay? i just fell from the fucking sky,” you snap at him as you attempt to stand up. you try to be mindful of the flowers you had landed on and you stumble a little before managing to find your balance. 

“hey, try not to move too fast, okay?” he says, taking a step towards you and reaching out for you. he helps you to one of the only few pews left in the place. once you sit down you find him eyeing you with careful eyes. 

“what?”

“are you... are you a soldier?” he asks and you give him a confused look.

“a what?”

“a soldier. you have to know what a soldier is. you know from shinra.”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about,” you tell him because you don’t. you don’t remember or know anything. 

“did you get amnesia from the fall perhaps?” he asks more to himself than you and you can only look at him with a confused look. why the hell is this guy talking to himself? you think as you look around more at the church. nothing too interesting. 

“what’s a soldier?” you ask after having been sitting in a few minutes of silence.

“soldier is this big elite fighting group that was made by shinra in order to do these special missions that normal people can’t do. they’re infused with mako and it makes their eyes look different from everyone else's. that's how they get told apart from everyone else,” he explains to you and you nod in understanding. “and you have those eyes,” he adds, making you look at him once more in confusion. “they’re this crazy bluish-green color.”

“where am i?” you ask, looking from him to the sword you had decided to rest in your lap. your grip on the handle so tight that it makes your knuckles go pale. 

“you’re in sector 5,” he tells you and once more you are left confused but you opt out of asking any more difficult questions.

“what’s your name?”

“wooyoung. you?” you don’t know. you try your best to remember, but nothing is coming to mind.

“i don’t know,” you answer after several minutes of silence.

“hm, must be a serious case of amnesia then,” he says nodding to himself.

“do you talk to yourself a lot or something?” you ask, tilting your head to the side.

“hey, since you’re a soldier that means you can fight and stuff right?” he suddenly asked, completely ignoring your question.

“and why would i know that? we already established that i have amnesia,” you tell him, but he once again ignores your statement.

“why else would you have that huge ass sword then?” he’s got you there. maybe you can fight from how your first instinct when you woke up was to grab the sword and almost attack this guy.

“okay, so maybe i can. what do you want?”

“i want you to be my bodyguard!” you look at him with a ‘wtf’ look and you figured that maybe it was time to finally take your left from this weirdo.

“yeah, i don’t think so,” you say, standing up and making your way towards the large doors of the church. 

“so when we go in you let me handle it okay.”

huh? you think confused as to why someone was outside whispering. you turn to see that wooyoung had walked back to the flower and then back at the door. sighing, you turn back around and make your way back over to wooyoung who notices you walking back to him.

“oh? did you change your mind?”

before you could say anything the doors of the church burst open causing you both to look over to a guy with red hair walking inside with some troop looking guys. 

“well look who we have here, and who’s your friend, wooyoung?”

“my bodyguard and a soldier i might add,” he says, making you let out a small huh? as you turn to him before back at this new guy.

“soldier, huh? well she sure does have the eyes.”

“hey,” wooyoung says quietly, gaining your attention, “do this for me okay? this shouldn’t be too hard compared to other soldier stuff.”

“fine, whatever. but you owe me, got it?”

“sure! a date should definitely be enough!”

“what?”

“well she’s weird enough to be one,” the guy mumbles to himself, but loud enough for you to hear. “what class?”

“class?” you ask, turning to wooyoung once more. “what the hell is going on?”

“she’s first class!” wooyoung says.

the guy let’s a loud laugh and you have a hard time trying to decide if its a true laugh or not, “if you’re going to bullshit me, then at least make it believable!”

“what did you just drag me into?” wooyoung didn’t have time to answer before the guy came charging at you. you manage to sling your sword in front of you to block his attack. 

you stagger back a bit before regaining your stance. you turn towards wooyoung and gesture for him to get back. thankfully, he stepped back and out of the way from where he could get hurt and you quickly turned your head back to look at the guy who had a large smirk on his face.

“you ready to play, soldier girl?”

“whatever,” you say, holding your sword in front of you. you're honestly kind of nervous since you don’t exactly remember how to fight, but your body feels like it's moving off of some sort of muscle memory.

the guy steps back letting the troops fight you first. at first all you can do is defend yourself before one of the guys runs up to you and you swing your sword at him, hitting him, and pushing him back into another guy. 

you get hit a few times, but you ignore the burning and stinging as you continue to try and defend yourself and hit them. 

“so you got a bodyguard now? does she know i’ve been yours for some time now?”

“oh, really? i wasn’t aware that was your job, mingi.”

“because it's top secret, pretty boy.”

you plant your right foot on the ground harshly before swinging your sword and managing to hit the two guys and knocking them out. a third guy ran towards you, but you were able to kick him in the stomach sending him flying into the church doors. a few seconds later the doors opened again and three more guys came rushing in. you didn’t waste any time and ran over to them swinging your sword at them.

you noticed one of the men was wearing a different color from the others and decided to focus your attention on him first. you blocked the bullets with your sword before attacking them. the first guy managed to knock you down and you stumbled back towards where wooyoung and the flowers were.

“hey! watch the flowers!” he scolded but you ignored him scolding in order to attack the nearest enemy to you. after some more blocking and attacking, you managed to take them all down with mingi, as you learned, being the last one.

“wow, maybe i underestimated you, soldier girl,” he said, tapping his baton over his shoulder. he obviously wasn’t taking you seriously and you couldn’t help but glare at him as you watched him carefully. 

suddenly, he charged at you and you did your best to block his attack. his attack did manage to send you back a little, but you were quick to regain your composure just as he charging at you once more. you were forced to keep dodging and blocking his attacks until you finally saw an opening and managed to attack him, sending him flying across the church. 

“wow, you hit pretty hard. maybe i underestimated you,” he says with a smirk and suddenly you watch him create these odd orbs that are flying around and bouncing off the walls. you do your best to dodge them, but you noticed that all suddenly started to come towards you. you managed to block one, but as a result suffered from some sort of shock of electricity. thankfully it didn’t deal enough damage to take you down, but did enough to stun you and mingi took the chance to come in and punch you. 

you let out a groan before you felt the throbbing pain in your head once again. you held your head in pain with one hand while your other gripped onto your sword tightly. 

“fira!” the voice sounds disembodied and faint, but sounds familiar to you.

you notice mingi charging at you again and you do your best to swing your sword at him and once more you hear the same word in your head. “fira!” you shout out loud and suddenly the edges of your sword near the tip light on fire and manage to hit mingi. he ends up rolling away and you notice that the opening of his jacket is burnt. he looks shocked for a moment before quickly covering it up with a more serious face. 

“you can use magic, huh?” you don’t say anything, instead look at him with a hard stare making him let out a laugh. “don’t look so tough, soldier girl. i’m done playing for today,” he then turns to look at wooyoung, “you got lucky today wooyoung, but next time your ‘bodyguard’ won’t be here to save you.”

before you can react, mingi quickly leaves the church leaving you and wooyoung alone. wooyoung comes running over to you with wide and amazed eyes. 

“wow, that was so cool! i knew you could fight! also that fire magic was awesome! how did you know you could do that?”

“i don’t know, i just heard a voice say ‘fira’ and so i repeated it,” you explained because that was what happened. 

“i guess i really do owe you, huh? come on, let me walk you home so we can take care of you,” he says, taking your hand and leading you out of the church. 

unknowingly to you both, mingi and his partner both watch wooyoung drag you out of the church.

“a first-class soldier? interesting.”

[sebastianshaw]

☒ Is there any sort of behavior towards your muse (ic or ooc) that you simply cannot stand?

I get very frustrated when: - Characters just know all about him, specifically his supervillainy, with no explanation. I don’t mind it for crack or more lighthearted interactions, where it’s typical to just breeze by hows and whys for the sake of getting the character dynamic going, but overall it’s frustrating because Shaw is one of the most private villains in the franchise. He’s canonically a completely legitimate businessman and his notes in a canon government dossier state that they don’t have any actual dirt about him, they just know something of the true nature of the Hellfire Club and have noticed he’s been seen in proximity to several superhuman conflicts. That’s IT. They know he’s a mutant, they know that he’s involved in a shady cabal that seeks domination through economic influence (which is not necessarily a crime at all), and they know he’s been SEEN near stuff. But there’s zero dirt on him. At all. And that’s the GOVERNMENT---the public is probably not even aware of his NAME. He’s a billionaire, but he’s the CEO of an industrial company, not a celebrity. Like, yes, we know who Bezos and Steve Jobs and Elon Musk are, but they’re exceptions who have gone out of their way to seek the limelight; most billionaire CEOs are not that. Shaw in particuliar is noted to be very private and not have any personal shit out there. And I don’t expect people to automatically know all this. I only know it because I’m a Shaw scholar. But I don’t think you need to know just how tight his secret identity is to think that MAYBE having your character just know that he’s a mega mutant bad guy is illogical? Like if everyone could just know that, he’d be in jail or hiding out like other supervillains have to, not just working his day job and running the HFC in his off hours? And just. . . maybe don’t metagame?  - I have a very, very long leash for people fucking with Shaw. I enjoy it, I enjoy people making fun of him, their characters getting the best of him, and so on. I am not an RPer who plays to “win”, quite the opposite. But I have a limit to just how far I’m okay with someone walking all over Shaw without consequence. It depends on the muse and how they’re doing it; for instance, Maximus and Sinister can do it a lot easier because of their own abilities and reasons Shaw won’t or can’t murder them. But if some rando is just being an asshole to him, destroying his property, or outright attacking him, that’s. . . .firstly some bullshit, wtf, and secondly there is no reason Shaw wouldn’t realistically pulverize them. Again, I do not like to be the “you can’t touch my muse!” type person, but Shaw *is* a very dangerous, very powerful person, both physically and in general, and while I get it is FUN to fuck with him (it’s fun for me too!) he’s not a doormat (even if Duggan thinks so) - I get that Shaw is a sexual and (for some people) sexually attractive character. I do. That’s not what interests ME about him, but I do my due diligence to include it in my portrayal. So I understand when people want MORE of that. I understand it, but I’m not here for it, and I get bothered when people specifically seem to want Shaw to be interested in their muse to an illogical point, either for their power or sexually. Like it is just a THING that people want Shaw to either try to force/manipulate their muse to the dark side, or for him to aggressively sexually pursue them, and. . . .honestly, not really his gig? Shaw has never been shown doing the latter, at all. He’s never chased after anyone, let alone been gross and creepy about it. He gets painted as this sexual predator, yet it’s not something he’s ever even come close to actually doing onscreen, and in fact has shown in canon that he finds that dishonorable at the least. And while he has tried to manipulate someone (an amnesiac Daken) on to his side before, he mostly allies with people who are ALREADY villains and WANT to team up with him, not people who have to be persuaded or forced. He’s not your personal villain, I’m sorry. He mostly just wants to do his own thing on his own time, and is not interested in kidnapping, torturing, or raping your muse, please and thank you.

[nadziejastar]

Thoughts on Soranort?

“Hey, I got an idea. Ask your heart. See if it’s got a clue.”

“Well…my heart was aching. That’s why I kept going.”

It was almost too much to bear. The sorrow—the pain, and so many other feelings. A suffering so much greater than anything he’d ever known. Hatred, sadness, anger, jealousy, fear, resentment, anguish, envy, uncertainty, pain, despair. Who did these feelings come from? Roxas? That woman? Those two people called me Ven—maybe him? Or someone else?

“Oh… Thank you, Sora’s heart, for pushing him right into our clutches. Aren’t hearts great? Steer us wrong every time,” Xigbar remarked, mocking as ever.

Personally, I don’t think he would have made a good Nort. But that’s why he was the hero.

Sora was targeted as a vessel because he had pain inside of him. The pain wasn’t really his, though. It was the memories inside of him, which didn’t even belong to him. That’s why I think he’d make a pretty boring seeker of darkness, from a story standpoint. He’s better suited as the hero. I think almost all the Norts were handled VERY poorly, though. The Dark Seeker Saga just turned out to be a huge flop in the end. It was supposed to be all about healing pain. Not just for the missing guardians of light. But the seekers of darkness, too. There was a reason they all got Norted, which KH3 did a VERY poor job explaining. It was because they all had pain that led them to abandoning their heart.

Ansem’s mouth twisted into a smirk. “If he wavers from the path we lay, we destroy him.”

“But in that case…we’ll have to find ourselves another vessel.”

Xigbar barked a laugh. Another vessel…, he says, as if it’s nothing. Just one piece of their grand, far-reaching plan.

“That is why we never have just one iron in the fire,” Xemnas replied matter-of-factly.

KH3 was supposed to be all about Xehanort’s search for a replacement vessel after Sora failed in KH3D. Vessels are not easy to come by, so “reserve members” shouldn’t even be a thing. I think the person they were supposed to be talking about in this scene was Davy Jones. He was a perfect vessel because he didn’t have a heart, but he didn’t die. He cast away his heart because it caused him pain. He would have been like the Beast in KH2, where they were trying to get him to join he organization. 

This world could have felt like it was relevant to the main story. But Davy Jones’ heart got little focus and all anyone cared about was the stupid black box, which isn’t even relevant in this game. The whole idea of the seekers of darkness becoming vessels because of pain got very little attention. When you defeated them in the Keyblade Graveyard, there should have been a sense of healing for each character’s pain and a sense of resolution to their story. The sad remix of the organization music was SO GOOD. Instead, most of them ended on a cliffhanger, which is absurd.

And then there was the heart that nestled close to mine. There, it continued to quietly encourage me. If he hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t be here now, standing in front of his grave.

Master, did you forgive me? Or maybe I haven’t been forgiven yet and I’m only still here so I can atone? I know there are no answers to my questions and no one has to forgive me for my sins. Even entertaining the thought of being forgiven is so presumptuous of me. A weakness.

The only vessel handled even semi-decently was Terra. His personal pain was given a lot of focus in BBS, so his story didn’t feel particularly incomplete… except when it came to Eraqus. I don’t feel Terra got proper closure with him. Terra didn’t even know if Eraqus forgave him, which is just sad. Terra’s messed up relationship with Eraqus was the whole reason he fell to darkness. It was his doubt that Eraqus truly loved him like a son that made him so susceptible to manipulation. It broke my heart how Terra was reluctant to hug Eraqus at the end.

“Not your concern.” With those parting words, Xehanort strode away. Eraqus slammed a fist into the floor as he watched him go.

Why did I fail to stop him? Is it my fault? Where did I go wrong? Is the darkness itself what beguiled him so? Must this plague steal my dear friend from me?

Then you got Young and Master Xehanort. In BBS, people kinda saw Xehanort as Lord Voldemort. People couldn’t see how Terra could trust him, because he was so obviously evil. But he was human, too. He was Eraqus’s dear friend. I’d be willing to bet it was some personal pain with Eraqus that led to Xehanort falling to darkness completely. Xehanort had no backstory, though, so it was hard to understand why he gave up or why he and Eraqus seemed so happy together in the end.

Ansem talked about some kind of betrayal, but I had no idea what he was even referring to here. 

Xemnas also had pain. He had Terra’s memories, spent years looking for Ventus in the Chamber of Waking. He was lonely, though this is never explored in any way.

I think Luxord probably joined the organization voluntarily. But why? He isn’t loyal to Xemnas. I doubt his original backstory was being some amnesiac Keyblade wielder from the age of fairy tales. He hinted at some personal pain due to “compulsive behavior”. I’m sure he had a sad backstory that caused him to join for his own reasons.

Why am I in the Organization? Well, I mean, there’s lots of reasons, but—oh, right! I wanted friends, right? Oh, no. Wow, actually no, that sounded way uncool but… now I’m thinking back on it and I’m just like, yeah, I guess it kinda was like that, huh.

Aside from the whole old guys’ club going on, it kinda seems like there were a lotta tight-knit groups in the Organization. Y’know, like Axel and Saix, Marluxia and Larxene, Zexion and Vexen, and Xaldin and Lexaeus? And I guess in the end, I hung out with the old guy a lot.

Yeah, so it’s not like it’s a big deal, seriously that’s it. I hate fighting and jamming out is way more fun. Sad stuff, painful stuff, why would I wanna do anything like that?

Let’s assume that Demyx was supposed to be a real member of the true organization instead of Xion (which is what I believe). His Character File story hints that he had pain and also that he became very close to Luxord. Which makes sense because they were some of the only members left after Castle Oblivion. Axel spent all his time with Saix, Roxas, and Xion. So, Demyx and Luxord really had no one else, and probably hung out with each other a lot. So, Demyx might have joined because of Luxord. But this is never explored in any way and Demyx is just a plot device to deliver Replicas.

SYMBOLISM Strelitzia is seen as the flower of freedom, and also represents immortality and paradise.

In early trailers, Marluxia had green eyes in the Rapunzel world, meaning he was not even supposed to be fully Norted before the final battle. So, I think he did join the organization of his own free will. But he had personal pain that led up to it. The loss of his sister. She said she’d carry him on her back, then his final boss form in CoM has him riding atop this strange woman figure. All very interesting. This is something that should have been wrapped up in this saga, though.

Sigh, it was so much better when I had no heart. When I didn’t have to worry about things like liking someone. Becoming fond of something is painful. That’s why those feelings were taken advantage of.

I think Larxene loved Marluxia and wanted to be by his side. She didn’t even want to regain a heart because it caused her pain. There should have been resolution to that at the end of KH3 instead of leaving it dangling.

Xigbar had pain, too. He was constantly haunted by his memory of Ventus glaring at him. You could tell that he was jealous of the bonds the other characters had. He commits suicide at the end due to the guilt he has. I would have said that his story was handled well if it ended with his suicide. It was pretty sad. But they reversed it and made it out to be a ruse. Xigbar was just faking his entire personality the whole time and was really Luxu all along. WTF!? I just can’t…

I wanted to be like you. I was jealous of you. Who was I exactly? Did I even exist? I’m just a puppet with no heart whose fake memories were planted in my head.

I was made, I’m artificial, I’m a fake. What do I need to become a real person? Or rather, was I a real fake? I fell into the dark and wandered the world of darkness.

Riku Replica’s story wasn’t resolved well, either. He spends all of CoM being tormented about not being the real Riku and that no doubt leads him to joining the organization. But then after he’s defeated, he gets no closure to his identity crisis. Instead, another “good” Riku Replica comes and rips the “evil” Replica’s soul out (WTF?) and then that story is over. It becomes all about Namine at that point. He sacrifices his only chance at life for her, which is kinda weird and depressing. I would have preferred if Riku Replica gained some kind of peace with being a part of Riku and then going home into his heart, like Xion did at the end of Days.

Whereas Ven’s worries and suffering were proof of his growth, his proclivity toward the light, Vanitas’s own misery was merely a pitch-black morass that brought with it nothing but pain.

We’re so different, but I could feel you every step of the way. I bet you didn’t notice me at all. What does this battle between us mean to you? You probably don’t have a clue that it means our hearts are intertwining. The fight itself doesn’t matter. What’s important is that our struggle makes us feel the same things. You hate me for trying to hurt your friend now, right? And I hate you right back for having friends at all.

Never once is any attention given to Vanitas’s pain. He despised Ventus and was jealous of the fact that he had friends. All the Unversed came from his negative emotions. Ventus told him they were the same and that he needed to come home inside of his heart, but…he doesn’t? Instead of finding some kind of peace by going back to Ventus, he just… disappears. 

The person who probably suffered the most was Axel. Because he’s the one who forgot the most. Being forgotten and forgetting, they’re both painful.

Saix’s pain turned out to be a joke. He couldn’t find some random girl he spoke to a few times, boo hoo, such a sad tragic backstory. He had to be quickly turned into a good guy before the epilogue, so he only joined to “atone” not because of any pain. His real pain was supposed to be about his relationship with Lea.

Cancer is ruled by the Moon, the planet of receptivity. It’s the zodiac sign related to feeling and emotions in our hearts. Cancer is, in many ways, the most sensitive and vulnerable sign of the zodiac. They feel deeply, but they’re not sure what to do about their feelings.

Emotions tend to play a dominate role in the lives of people born under Cancer. Naturally defensive and sometimes afraid of being hurt, they tend to put their heart and soul into all their relationships, and are very faithful, loyal and loving partners. Cancer people are extremely sensitive to matters of the heart. It is easy to hurt their feelings and they become deeply emotionally wounded when wronged, and can take a long time getting over it.

Also, I just really like the idea of Saix as a Seeker of Darkness. Cancers have very delicate hearts and are very emotional people who are vulnerable to pain. 

[thegeminisage]

Amnesia obviously

AMNESIA  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know

i shouldnt even technically be bolding that last one because clearly WE ALL DO KNOW

but anyway whats better than the amnesia trope? nothing!! (sorry NOBODY is obligated to read this you can just skip it)

typical default of the amnesia trope is a character with a mysterious past and who doesnt love a MYSTERY?

furthermore an amnesiac character always has something to fight for: their own history! self-discovery! that’s really important! there’s depths to the self they never even dreamed of!

but: suspense!!! WHAT IF THEY DIDN’T LIKE WHO THEY WERE? what if they did something HORRIBLE and it’s TRAUMA AMNESIA? what if they AMNESIA’D THEMSELF? what if they’re DIFFERENT NOW and they have to ACTIVELY WORK AGAINST PLANS THEY THEMSELF LAID OUT? look, the plot twist potential is endless

trauma amnesia cause you did something fucked up? VALID because then you have to be courageous enough to fight the most fearsome enemy of all: yourself

the pov character having the amnesia is cool because there’s SO much you can do with a narrator who doesn’t know shit. they run into people they should know and places they should know and that sense of something familiar but not quite placeable…mmm

literally it’s like an outsider pov but for their own life and (i’ll get to this in another post) outsider pov is the shit

but another character having amnesia is also pretty Great because then there’s that struggle to Get Them To Remember and it’s always some extremely dramatic deep emotional bond that pulls them back to themselves nobody say anything i know what movie we’re all thinking of but i don’t want to talk about it everybody just shut the fuck up

also like ok best thing ever is when a character picks up a highly specialized weapon or performs some very unique skill and they know just what to do it without knowing HOW they know. gives me the shivers every time

second best thing is when for an example someone who should know how to use a gun and be very comfortable doing so is like AAAH A GUN GET THAT AWAY FROM ME THOSE ARE DANGEROUS

who the fuck even are you without your memories? it’s nature vs nurture, baby! what parts of you survive without your experiences? are you still drawn to the people you loved and the things and places you knew? it’s a story of SURVIVAL. it’s TENACITY!!

amnesia’s the best trope the end

for funsies here is a list of amnesiac characters that i love

i’m sure i don’t know who you thought would be at the top of the list but guess what i’m not talking about that movie in this post!

fenris from dragon age 2 aka the cruelest plot twist of all time

fang from final fantasy 13 is a nice variant  bc she has no idea wtf is going on but she is happy to just roll with it & go get her gal pal

noel from final fantasy 13-2 is even better because as soon as he gets them back we get the good shit plot twist

link from breath of the wild his last memory kills me ever time

kara from detroit: become human this doesn’t technically count as 100% canon but idc

terra from final fantasy 6 + she’s aroace coded hell yeah

bubbles from questionable content

wolverine from the xmen movies whomst i will love forever shut up

hawkeye pierce from the mash finale to Amazing effect

when i was little my favorite sonic the hedgehog character was also: shadow the edgy amnesiac and he’s still my favorite

films i was also obsessed with as a kid: that animated anastasia film by fox. is anyone surprised

arthur from mystery skulls animated :(

didn’t riku and kairi start losing memories of sora in kingdom hearts 2?? i might be remembering that wrong ahha get it

mollymauk from critical role (that’s why i stopped watching i am not even a little bit kidding)

i know joss whedon is a piece of shit but that one buffy ep where they all lost it was truly some quality television

i think all the leads in spn have had amnesia at some point although sam and castiel’s (mid-late season 6/late season 7 respectively) were way better than dean’s. at the time i was INCREDIBLY excited about sam’s and like moderately excited about castiel’s (though i absolutely lost my shit when he got it back)

i’m actually really mad sometimes that we started writing cambion BEFORE the end of season 6 because ben braeden is a canonical amnesiac and we did absolutely zero with that bc we didn’t KNOW

the ENTIRETY of the cast for teen wolf season 6A. wow iconic thats everything i want

anyway thanks for asking everyone!!!

(pls send me tropes)

[dangermousie]

Eps 33-34 of An Oriental Odyssey

Anyone able to tell it’s Mu Le from that sketch has better creative abilities than me. Seriously - WTF.

There is no reason for this cap except that Zhao Lingzhi is hot. I can almost get the evil girl doing anything to get someone that fine in her clutches.

Aaaaaan Yuan’an finds out her slave was a prince. Ahahahahha her face. Her face. (But on a serious note, I do feel bad for her, because she now thinks he was faking all along and using her to get magic beads. If she were clearheaded about it, she’d realize nobody could fake that much because it would all be sidetracking with no point. Poor girl. She cried for him and all and now she feels deceived.)

OK, so the kingdom of Suoluo has everyone be a magician and/or shapeshifter and Tang Empress wants to invade? Hahahahha. Nutter (also why is she ruling and not the Emperor - so confused.) Suoluo meanwhile looks like a cross between Arabian Nights and Thailand, with more of the latter. I am gonna call it Magic!Thailand now. 

Also, apparently Prince Ying Formerly Known as Mu Le’s mom is Cleopatra.

That was awesome! You have your work cut out for you, Yuan’ an! (Also, does her bite have magic properties? Because he usually heals mega fast. Alternatively it was an insane bite in which case - as I said earlier - wtf Yuan’an. Your OTP is not a porkchop.)

The Prince...of Bling! Seriously, that’s enough sequins to fill an entire Michael’s. Also, he has corners of his eyes painted gold. Someone is auditioning for a 1980s Glam Metal band. (PS he really does look a lot like Feng Shao Feng.)

It’s your name plate, dude! I wonder at weird hair girl’s motives for not telling him the truth. I’d be OK with going “why would you want to tell him he was a slave and had an unhappy love affair” except she totally wants his bedazzled ass for herself.

For the next installment of the If You Buy a Hot Abused Amnesiac From Slavery, He Is a Royal Even If the Drama Is Not Colourful Bone, tune in tomorrow...

[tinkdw]

Cas and Dean could have been totally platonic.

But they decided to make it romantic.

During seasons 4-5 we could have had all the Cas / Dean scenes minus the UST. We could have had heated arguments that turned into a mutual understanding and Cas learning that he had always been different, always loved Humanity and through both Sam and Dean fallen and decided to rebel to help them.

They could have kept it as this:

But they didn't. They made it all about Dean and added scenes like this:

Side note: they could also have TOTALLY portrayed Dean as a dude-bro straight as a rod hetero guy.

But they didn't

In fact there’s so much talk about Dean being bisexual it’s just... everywhere, not just on tumblr but in so many reviews and articles about the show e.g. just the latest one I’m aware of:

http://uncannymagazine.com/article/dean-winchester-commander-shepard-walk-bar-fanon-matters/

Then throughout the later seasons, they could have backtracked. They could have said hey, that was all fun, but nah, let’s keep Cas and Dean as a more brotherly familial love, to tie in with the “family don't end in blood” theme.

I would have TOTALLY gone with that, happy Dean and Cas and Sam, all together as brothers, could have been AWESOME.

But they didn't.

They consistently wrote them through ROMANTIC storytelling.

I’m just going from the season 7 resurrection because prior to this it was most likely not ever going to be endgame if it’s true they were going to kill Cas off.

Season 7:

- They could have not cast someone who looks like Dean’s female twin as Cas’ wife when he is amnesiac.

- They could have not had Meg call Dean his boyfriend first and make Meg/Cas romantic while Dean looks on with both Daphne and Meg with hurt in his eyes.

- They could have not introduced a queer character and make her immediately bond with Dean right at this point and then continue this theme over the years.

Season 8: 

- Purgatory could have been a bro-ment, except they gave that role to Benny and placed Cas firmly in the romantic role, especially post purgatory with Dean’s visions being paralleled to Sam’s of Jess and his boner moment in 8x07, literally, wtf, that is not brotherly affection. 

- They could have not had multiple episodes after Cas’ putting himself in harms way to save Dean in purgatory that revolved around a Supernatural being doing this for the human they loved.

- Then a whole story around brainwashing which one gets the other out of through telling them I love you I need you, followed by a whole storyline of Dean behaving like a JILTED LOVER and Cas trying to fix it, meanwhile Sam looks like the awkward person caught in the middle between a couple fighting, NOT his own two brothers!

Season 9: 

- They could have had a story where Dean chose Sam over his best friend and newly found blood-brother, who he did a blood pact with and loved dearly in Bad Boys, but no, it was a ROMANTIC parallel. 

- They could have had Cas not have sex with April or it be Sam who killed her and clutched his face in agony, so Gadreel felt it and healed him while Dean was knocked out. They could have then had Dean NOT sensually wrapping his mouth around ANYTHING OTHER THAN A PENIS SHAPED BURRITO whilst making sexual innuendos to Cas. But they did.

- They could have had the bar scene in 9x09 be all about the 3 brothers having a great time together, playing darts, having fun and chilling, rather than having a flirting winking thing going on between Dean and Cas and Sam just looking on open mouthed like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I HERE. 

- They could have had a story that wasn't focused all around sex in Rock and a Hard place, but they chose it to be sexual (when that ep was supposed to come right after 9x06).

- They could have had Ephraim going after people who were in pain and suffering due to familial loss when he went after Cas, but they didn't, they made it a ROMANTIC parallel again.

- They could have NOT had a renowned romantic song about loneliness, a deep shade of blue, the sun not shining anymore (when there had been so much Cas = sun visuals this season prior to this) and being “without love” with an “I NEED YOU” playing over softly interspersed images of Cas and Dean’s sad faces, when they had to separate due to duty (seriously, the one shot of Sam is just of him looking at Dean and worrying about how he is feeling during the intro before the lyrics play. Pfft).

- They could have had Dean help Cas get ready for his date by doing a Charlie-esque totally platonic scene where he took him shopping for a sweater and jeans, rather than making it look like he was undressing him with his eyes, forgetting to leave cos he’s just staring at him and looking longingly at him while calling him Tony Manero, a heavily subtextually bisexual character.

- They could have NOT paralleled Dean and Cas’ huge emotional traumatic break up in 6x20 with canon star-crossed lovers in 9x20. But they did.

- They could have had Metatron talk about how much Cas cared about puny humans and how he’s a sap for the mud monkeys, rather than making it ALL ABOUT SAVING DEAN WINCHESTER and using words like HE’S IN LOVE (giant ass pause).... with Humanity.

- They could have then not had Amara telling Dean that he literally represents humanity and Chuck backing this up. Pff.

Season 10:

- They could have used Hannah as an actual romantic love interest for Cas rather than paralleling her unrequited love with Cas’ perceived unrequited love of Dean and using her to EXPOSE this. Or they could have just not made Cas’ story sexual/about romance AT ALL.

-They could have had SAM be the person Dean gets soft around instead of Cas or if they wanted to make Cas the brotherly figure, they could have done so in a way that didn't scream ROMANCE like putting them in a date-like set up, making Crowley call Cas Dean’s BOYFRIEND, exposing how he’s doing it all for Dean and dying for him whilst paralleling this to Hannah’s romantic/sexual interest in Cas. 

- They could have NOT repeatedly paralleled Cas with Cains’ WIFE in the Dean/Cain parallel, the love of his life, who softened him and made him want to be a better man.

-They could have had Dean get just as squicked about Destiel as W*ncest in the 10x05 fan fiction episode but they DIDNT. They made Dean squicky about W*ncest and testing the water with Sam by mentioning Destiel, then getting embarrassed by it instead of grossed out.

Season 11:

- They could at any time have made Cas/Sam stronger by the way by this point. But they didn't. They purposefully made Sam/Cas less strong than Dean/Cas for *reasons* and those aren't because Cas and Sam don't care about each other and love each other as brothers/best friends because they repeatedly state that they DO. So go figure.

- They could have had the Angels torturing Cas as not making it sexual whilst talking about his loyalty and love for the Winchesters. But they did.

- They could have had Dean worry for and fight for Cas while he is possessed by Lucifer in a totally brotherly fashion as he would with Sam, but they made it ROMANTIC.

- They could have had the banshee in 11x11 go after people (again in parallel to 9x06) who were in pain due to familial loss rather than ROMANTIC loss when it went after Dean. They could have had the heartbroken manager look and say things that DIDN’T remind us of Cas before this happened, BUT THEY DID. They could have left it there but instead they gave us Mildred telling Dean that he’s PINING for someone. Just before he tells us in 11x13 that he is NOT pining for AMARA. So WHO is he PINING for?! Who has gone missing AGAIN? Who is he repeatedly over this and the next season worrying about?

-The monster in 11x13 didn't have to be a DARKEST DESIRES monster (and not a love monster) and the story focus on unrequited love and therefore expose that although Dean’s feelings are of dark desire here, he states they are NOT love and that he ISNT pining for Amara.... SEE ABOVE.

-Amara could have gotten to Dean through a MULTITUDE of different options, through their own apparently strong bond. But they DIDNT. They did it through CAS and specifically THROUGH HIS HEART. I MEAN JEEZ.

- They could have NOT introduced at this point two characters who are gruff awesome hunter men who TOTALLY personality wise, story-wise and visually through their shoulder patting interactions are GIANT METAPHORS for Dean and Cas, while referring to the earlier ‘settling down with a hunter’ discussion in 11x04 through DEAN curiously wondering “what’s it like, settling down with a hunter?” after having mixed up brother / romantic vibes off them.

-They could have had the 'you’re our brother’ moment in the car in 11x23 feel wonderful and fulfilling but instead (because of all this previously and the way it was framed) it felt OFF and WRONG. Because this isn't the full truth is it Dean.

- They could have not had the whole season be a giant metaphor for this through Amara mixing up a brotherly and romantic “bond” (their words not mine) through Chuck and Dean.

THIS WHOLE SEASON COULD HAVE NOT BEEN A GIANT EXPOSITION FOR DEAN’S ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR CAS AND HIS OWN INNER MONOLOGUE OF SELF WORTH AND ACCEPTANCE, LEADING TO HIS ARC AND CLIMAX OF THIS IN SEASON 12 AND SPECIFICALLY 12x22.

Season 12

- They could have introduced Cas to Mary as their brother from the OFF but at no point did either of the boys tell her that Cas is like a brother to them. She just... assumed he fit in as “one of her boys” and in the family by proxy and is the one who consoles CAS while he is not able to function while Dean is missing (but was able to function totally perfectly to find Sam with Dean) and she always looks to DEAN when talking about Cas. I WONDER WHY.

- They could have NOT had Crowley call Cas a “love slave” or had Dean glance over at Cas when he picked up the satiny pink panties. But they did.

- They could have NOT had an ambiguous double-over voice of Sam telling Mary "I love you” and Dean talking to Cas on the phone. That was TOTALLY UNNECESSARY and just made everyone pause and rewind to figure out what was said.

- They could have had a backstory filling in the blanks around nephilim that didn’t also have a story about an Angel falling in love with a Human and him projecting this onto Cas and Dean as his human weakness whilst also explaining that Angels are not supposed to have romantic or sexual feelings for humans at all and that it means they are bad, wrong and should be killed, that it is a sacred oath not to do so, meanwhile showing Cas as extremely duty bound and still loyal even though he has fallen.

- They could have had Cas CLEARLY tell the boys he loves them as family and they are dear dear brothers to him. Instead we got a season of double clarifications leading up to this where it was CONSISTENT that the first was to one person and the second was to everyone, on top of every other time Cas has done this the first is ALWAYS to Dean, so the ambiguously seeming “I love you, I love all of you” was blatantly a romantic / familial divide between Dean and Sam. Before you even look at the fact that he can't hold eye contact for the first but looks at Sam for the second and the reactions of Dean and Sam show that they know exactly what this means. 

- They could have had Dean give Cas ANYTHING OTHER THAN A ROMANTIC TROPE 101 lesson 1 first 5 minutes into the class MIXTAPE as a gift of ‘familial bonding’. But no, they used a romantic one.

- They could have not used the band chosen on the tape a band that is consistently made romantic through the Mary/John link and even before this a way for guys to get into Jo’s pants and a way for the siren to first try to seduce Dean.

- Throughout the whole show they could have given Dean any romantic love interest where it wasn't directly linked since season 7 with him losing Cas, feeling like he just wants comfort and SETTLING for someone else. Then in 12x18 they could have NOT made this totally clear by at this point showing it to us through him firstly worrying about Cas AGAIN, in a 2 season long repeated hammering home of Dean worrying about Cas more and more and Sam trying to console him, then settling for the omelette right afterwards and being UNSATISFIED by it.

- They could have NOT paralleled Sam pulling Dean away to the rift with Dean pulling Sam back from Jess.

- They could have NOT paralleled Dean falling to his knees as a standard romantic trope to Cain doing it for Colette.

- They could have set the whole thing up for YEARS so that Sam and Dean have a much more similar bond with Cas, a three-way brotherly bond that could totally fit with the “family don't end in blood” theme, just as Bobby was their surrogate father and Jody their surrogate mother, Cas could have been both their additional, chosen brother, given that Dean and Sam were so forced into their codependency, their choosing to be together and add another brother could so nicely cement their own bond too by adding Cas in his way.

But instead they chose to make their relationships palpably and obviously different, even though Sam loves Cas as a brother, for *reasons*.

In Conclusion:

EVERY TIME Dean/Cas has been narratively paralleled with 2 people on the show it’s been a ROMANTIC couple (eg. Violet/David, Maggie/Donald, Jesse/Cesar, Bobby/Karen, Mary/John, Betsy/Cacao, Chronos/Lydia, Cain/Colette...) not BROTHERS (as Dean/Sam have e.g. Lucifer/Michael, the kids from 1x18).

When Cas and Dean have been targeted by monsters it’s often because of a ROMANTIC reason - one which on the surface might look like it’s for example Nora or Amara but is textually shown NOT to be, meanwhile setting their own interactions in the same episode between each other as heavily subtextually romantic.

They could have made Dean/Cas a brotherly relationship and that could have been AWESOME and totally relevant to the themes of the show. But they CHOSE to make it romantic.

I SHIP DEAN/CAS AS A ROMANTIC PAIRING BECAUSE THE SHOW MADE ME DO IT.

[tumblunni]

OH MAN I HAD SUCH A BAD SLEEP I took too many headache pills and forgot they contain caffeine and i was up all night Dying Of Tired and then when i finally passed out i had like five damn nightmares at once?? Its hard to even remember most of them but I just know I was really inexplicably legitimately panicked about a bunch of super arbitrary nonsense. Like.. brain so shot that I couldnt even compose a decent narrative for why the thing is scary. WTF...

Like at one point I was just reenacting the final boss fight from Deadly Premonition?? And like there’s a bunch of actual reasons why that thing pisses me off, like how cliche it was to make the One Fat Man In The Town the villain, and how suddenly we’re adding a really crass rape plot and LOL isn’t it even more gross cos he’s overweight. Right after a big ol ‘demon trans person’ fight and one of the most sympathetic characters getting dragged through the mud and discarded. Like seriously fuckin EVERYONE betrays you and then your love interest dies from monster rape while crying ‘don’t look at me I’m soiled’ and fucking PUNS cos evil fatman is some sort of plant monster. God I stopped caring about that game immediately, it went from zany weird to just horrible. ...but in the dream it wasn’t any of that sort of nuance, it was just me for some reason being legit terrified of evil fatman’s comedy boss fight. Seriously, after how detestable he is, they give you a stupid fatness stereotype joke fight where he bounces around like a terrible 60s b-list superhero. Why was dream me legitimately terrified of friggin yoshi ground pound man?! I think the real terror here was just that I was reminded this damn game exists.

And then also for some reason another part of the nightmare was Supreme Anxiety over designing a fan character for sonic the hedgehog?? Somehow I’d won the awesome right to add a character to the series and I was like BUT I HAVE NO IDEAS EXCEPT *points at literally the exact same sprite of my terrible super sonic recolour monkey oc from age 12, somehow blown up to the size of a building* And like I needed to demolish that but it was made of lego bricks, and I was all ‘aaa but i don’t even know if the character would be put in the games or the sonic boom tv show, they have very different sense of humour. do i have to make a playable character or just a comedy npc like the Meh Burger guy?’ incidentally sonic boom the show is awesome and reminds me of my childhood cos lol we got AoStH in britain instead of that grimdark future freedom fighters thing. That was our comic instead! its funny how similar the british and american comics are and yet how insanely different! but i still love a zany fourth wall breaking trash show and im so fucking happy we now have a way more well animated one! Anyway this was SO SUPER STRESSFUL cos I havent even been very involved in sonic fandom since I was a lil kid, but it was a thing I did with my now deceased grandma so its Kinda A Big Deal. I think dream me even considered making a character based on her, but I decided it was too close to eggman. She was such a supervillain of hugs! So yah it just ended with me at Green Hill Zone and then i fuckin run off into the distance and never come back. DONT GIVE BUNNI RESPONSIBILITIiiiiiies...!!

Also there was something about some sort of.. ghost phone app dating game? It was so weird cos I was a person sitting on a bus playing the app and then the love interest from the app actually got on the bus and I guess we were actually just texting? And for some reason I had to take pictures of the moon, which looked like a tiny head of eggman’s voiceactor with little stick limbs attatched. And a day and night cycle kept going super fast so i was like ‘ehh only ten minutes til another good shot’. And I guess the eggmoon got bigger to show your progress thru the plot...?? ‘That’s my favourite star’ says anime schoolgirl, romantically... So yeah all I knew was that this was somehow a horror game and supposed to have jumpscares, but I was like HELL YEAH DATING A GHOST! And then the plot twist was something like the bus was the bus to the afterlife and we were both ghosts. So like you’d get the bad ending for running away from ghost girlfriend and then find out the only thing outside the bus door is infinate blackness and You Was The Zombie Too But the bigger scary twist for me was that in this universe I’d died from being strangled by my abusive dad and then suddenly everyone was super unsympathetic to me and telling me I’d deserved it and oh man poor dad having to deal with a lil shit like me Zombie dating? perfectly fine! zombie dating an abuse apologist? NOPE.

And then i also dreamed about a neat game that I’m sad doesn’t actually exist. I was desperately trying to remember the name of it as if it did exist?? i feel betrayed?? XD It was something where there were four nature spirit boys and I had to help them regain their power and potentially have dating sim shenanigans I guess?? I just recall that they all started as a tiny mascot creature and it was that dumb cliche of ‘actually my true form was specifically an attractive person of the designated gender you prefer, at the exact same age as you! what are the odds!’ But they still looked pretty neat in their more humanoid form, they were still monster boys rather than the super superest of cliche dating sim characters. And I recall there was an interesting thing of every route being a wildly different genre? like they’d all start the same with me suddenly getting this weird mascot critter, but then the answer as to what exactly the spirits were and what his amnesiac memory was was always different. Like in one of them (fire, I think?) it turned out to be a post apocolyptic sci fi where the earth was running out of resources and children with psychic potential were kidnapped and turned into genetic experiments to create these ‘spirits’. They were more like humanized terraforming machines?? It was really kind of a neat plot twist?? And I recall that fire guy was a sad shy dood kinda like nageki from hatoful boyfriend, and his monster boy traits were interesting cos he had dusty grey hair with only a few scattered red strands, and it would blaze up into a burning white flame whenever he lost control of his emotions. (similarly with just a tiny red flame cowlick in the middle) And I think the water spirit was a very pompous kingly type whos mascot form looked like a slime from dragon quest. He was my favourite, he was good comic relief and very huggable! I think his plot got all twisty and sad tho, like it turns out he wasn’t the real king but just a clone duplicate made to use as a body double. And it was depressing that he was so convinced his memories were real and so utterly oblivious to the fact he was like.. melting, a lot, often. Thats normal rite? U just cant do it cos you’re a commoner! These magic powers are totally a thing of the royal lineage and not proof that I actually really am a dragon quest slime with a bad case of identity issues! Anyway we punched the jerkass king and rescued the real prince and they lived happily ever after as if they were just a regular set of twins. And human prince was all ‘I’mma be the best wingman!’ and kept teasing you about ending the story on a kiss. It was cute! I dunno about the other two love interests tho, I just definately know there were four of them for some reason. Also for some reason dream!me was constantly criticising the game’s art style, that was a little annoying XD